


The Sea Captain's House - Part 16

by Beautyinthemoonlight



Series: The Sea Captain's House [16]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 254,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beautyinthemoonlight/pseuds/Beautyinthemoonlight
Summary: Life in the big old house gets busier and busier from 2034-2036 as the kids keep getting older.  Milestones happen for everybody, parents and kids alike: The Academy turns 10, Ali & Ashlyn turn 50, Meg gets a job, Drew gets his license, Josie goes to high school, and the Elves on the Shelves make their final appearances.  Bodies are changing, major anniversaries and bucket list trips are happening, grandparents are aging and life moves forward, the good and the bad, as always.  And, as always, Ali & Ashlyn rely on their love to give them strength and guide them through it all.
Relationships: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger
Series: The Sea Captain's House [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/573217
Comments: 308
Kudos: 162





	1. Commencement Flashbacks

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Challenge Cup everybody! 
> 
> Part 16 is here and ready for posting. There will be fewer chapters this time, but they're longer. We're covering three years in this installment, 2034, 2035, 2036, and I finally started moving faster about halfway through this Part.  
> I'm not quite finished writing it yet, but very close. I'll be posting 2 or 3 chapters a week until I'm done writing, then I'll switch over to something faster for you.  
> Check the Tumblr page if you're interested. 'beautyinthemoonlight1124'
> 
> I hope everybody is safe and healthy in this strange time. Please wear your mask and be smart about COVID-19. Please. We've been very strict up here in the Northeast and it's paid off for us as our numbers for both infections and deaths continue to drop every day. WEAR YOUR MASK!
> 
> And if you've read along you know how I feel about most social issues. I'm mad that it's taken a derelict, criminal conman of a President who has destroyed our country to finally shine a light on the systemic racism that is a constant in every part of our lives. But I'm glad that so many white people are finally waking up to the facts. Please, if you're white, educate yourself and learn the truth. It's not our generation's fault that our country operates like this - to the sole benefit of white people, but it's our generation's responsibility to start to change all of those systems. We ALL have to work hard for that change. #BlackLivesMatter #CheckYourPrivilege #NoJusticeNoPeace #DotheWork #KeeptheMomentumGoing #FightforChange and for the love of God and America - VOTE!!!!! 
> 
> Ok, I'm done yelling and preaching. Thanks for reading the story. I appreciate all your comments and all the love. <3

It was hard to believe four whole years had zipped by since the last time Ashlyn had sat and watched a stage full of young men and women, one of them her own daughter, about to graduate. Four fucking years. Holy shit did that happen fast. It seemed like just yesterday when the Kriegers had gone to Washington, DC to celebrate Meg’s high school graduation. Somehow, they were all now seated in the aluminum bleachers of Alumni Stadium listening to Boston College’s President talk about the graduating class of 2034. It just didn’t seem possible that Meg was 22 years old and about to start the rest of her adult life. Ashlyn’s mind was blown. No matter how much time she spent trying to figure out how it was Sunday May 21, 2034 or how she herself was 48 freaking years old, all Ashlyn ever got was cranky and then wistful. Her life was incredible, and she was grateful as hell for all of it. But why couldn’t things just slow the fuck down?

The Krieger family had been on campus in Chestnut Hill, MA, which was basically the same as Boston but out on the west edge of the city, since 8:00am. The procession of students started at 9:00am and Ashlyn wanted everybody there early so they could get good seats in the 44,500 capacity football stadium. Meg had told them where to sit so they could see her – each of the university’s colleges were seated together, all on one side of the stadium, and the guests all sat on the opposite side, but there was no assigned seating and Ashlyn wasn’t taking any chances. After the procession of students, all 2,417 of them, came the President of the university and the other dignitaries, including Amy Poehler who was the commencement speaker. Only the parents of the graduates knew the comedian as a funny lady. The 62-year old was better known these days as one of the biggest voices in the fight for equality – particularly regarding STEM at all scholarly grade levels. She had started her Smart Girls website and blog over 2 decades earlier and it had helped millions of young girls realize that they too could study science and math just like the boys did. Poehler had built herself an impressive think tank comprised of women and dedicated to promoting women in every way, shape and form. 

Ashlyn couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say to Meg and the rest of the graduates that day...if she could sit through the droning of the plentitude of male voices that dominated the day. Boston College was a well-respected research university with a popular liberal arts program that drew students from all across the country. But because of its Jesuit foundation and structure, the authority figures were all old white dudes. It was an unsightly stain on the rest of the day, and that included a much more diverse graduating class than ever before. 

“Where’s Charlie again?” Dodge asked as he peered across the football field towards the sea of graduates in their maroon caps and gowns. He tugged on Ali’s arm to make sure his mother had heard his question.

“He’s down at the other end, with his college” the brunette replied as she turned the color map she had printed out the night before over in her hands to make sure she gave the right answer. “He’s in the Morrissey College of Arts and Sciences...”

“But what does he do?” asked the boy who had turned 11 years old just over a week ago. “I mean, he does science. I know that...”

“He’s a biochemistry major...” Ali started to answer but was interrupted by Josie on Dodge’s other side.

“...and he’s on a research track. It’s even harder than the regular science” the redhead nodded knowingly.

Ali shared an amused look with her wife, who was sitting next to her on her left. They both knew that Josie didn’t really know much about what being on a scientific research track meant in higher education. But they also knew that the girl had been correct in her summation, regardless of how she had gotten the information.

“Harder than regular science?” Dodge looked to his right at his sister for further clarification.

“Yeah. He’s gonna be one of the scientists who, like, discovers the cure for cancer or something like that” Josie explained.

“Well we’re gonna see Charlie in a minute because they’re doing the academic awards next” Ashlyn leaned forward so she could look past her wife to see Dodge and Josie.

“Oh that’s right” Ali remembered and turned to the commencement ceremony program in her other hand. “He’s a member of the Order of the Cross and Crown” she read the name of the seniors’ honor society aloud.

“He’s getting a ‘Scholar of the College’ award too” Hannah added after listening to the conversation with a proud smile on her face. 

“He is?” Ashlyn’s eyebrows went up as she turned to look at Hannah seated directly to her left.

“They don’t announce it until the ceremony though” the older redhead made a playful eeek face and covered her mouth as she winked at Josie.

“Wow” Ali’s eyes went wide at the impressive news. They all knew Charlie was super smart, but he was turning out to be a hell of a lot smarter than they even knew. “How do you know?” she cocked her head at Hannah, intrigued as hell by the info.

“He got the McCarthy Prize at the banquet last night” the redhead leaned closer so she could keep her voice down. “Judith texted me this morning” she referenced Charlie’s mom.

“You guys text each other?” Ashlyn raised her eyebrow at her ex, genuinely surprised.

“Not a lot, but yeah” Hannah shrugged. “When I’m in town, or for something big like graduation or the senior commencement ball Friday night...”

They had all oohed and aahed over the beautiful photos of Meg and Charlie dressed up for the ball at the beginning of the commencement weekend Friday night. The Kriegers couldn’t make it to Hannah’s condo for the send-off and photos of Meg and her best friends with their dates because they had attended Drew’s high school varsity baseball game among other practices and activities that afternoon. They hadn’t seen much of busy Meg that weekend at all but it wasn’t a surprise. The rest of their hectic schedule didn’t just clear out because their oldest child was graduating. 

“That dress was gorgeous” Ali enthused, leaning across her wife to chat with Hannah about all things senior commencement ball related. 

Ashlyn rolled her eyes with a chuckle and looked down the row of family to her right. As always, a grin formed on her face as she watched her kids interact with Ken and Vicki Krieger, Deb Christopher, and Tammye and Carol Lanier. Seated in the row behind them were Niki and Molly Cross, Sydney and Dom Dwyer, Whitney and Ryan Flanagan and a handful of the four-family kids. She could hear Whitney, seated directly behind her, telling 10-year old Becca Flanagan that Meg and her teammates were all over, in different places, seated by their colleges instead of as a team, for the ceremony. 

“But I thought she was doing lawyer stuff, like you?” Becca’s confused voice made Ashlyn grin even bigger. “What does the woods have to do with that?”

“No, sweetie” Whitney giggled as she realized why her daughter was so confused. “Meg’s college name is the ‘Woods College of Advancing Studies’, it’s just a name. It has nothing to do with the woods and trees.”

“I thought it was BC?” the youngest girl in the four-family group scrunched her face as she struggled to understand. “Why is this so hard?” 

Before Becca could get her answer, the Dean of Students had taken the podium after the brief break in the ceremony as they got ready to distribute the gold sashes to the members of The Order of the Cross and Crown. Ashlyn sat up straighter, leaning forward slightly to make sure both Hannah and Ali stopped talking and returned to their own spaces on either side of her. It was going to be a long morning and the faster these parts that didn’t include Meg went, the better. The blonde leaned further forward and cast a warning glance down the row of her children and other family members – her ‘sit still and be quiet’ message was received loud and clear by all.

The way each kid sat there on the aluminum stadium bench communicated everything a stranger would need to know about them. Dodge fidgeted, lifting his torso up and straightening his back for a minute and then dropping it back down again, over and over and over again – which had been part of the reason Ali had taken the seat between he and Ashlyn. A buffer was definitely required. The other part of the reason was just because she wanted to sit next to her gorgeous wife. It was nice now that the kids were old enough that they didn’t have to worry about them getting up and wandering off. The two moms didn’t have to sit on either end of them anymore, like gatekeepers. Dodge was at least quiet as he fidgeted in his black dress pants, black dress shoes, and white, collared dress shirt. He had chosen blue suspenders and a blue bow tie, and his sleeves were folded up to his elbows but not nearly as neatly as his Mama would have liked. The boy paid attention when his head was up and his back was straight – looking quickly from Meg to whichever speaker was at the podium at the moment, and then dropping his eyes to his feet when he slumped down again. When the boredom got too overwhelming for him, he would sigh as quietly as possible and lean his head against Ali’s shoulder for a minute before getting back to fidgeting again.

Josie sat as prim and proper as she could, trying to keep her body as tuned in as her brain was to the exciting goings on in front of them. She had been to Emma Donaldson’s college graduation a couple of years earlier with the rest of her family, but it had been really boring. This felt different to the young redhead. She loved the pomp and circumstance and added formality of this ceremony. She loved seeing her big sister Meg looking so beautiful and grown up and badass. Soon to be 13-year old Josie didn’t understand everything that was going on but she absolutely wanted to. She had already read the program from front to back, twice, and she had a lot of questions for Meg when she finally got to see her later on. Josie wore a cute skirt and blouse with stylish Mary Janes. She was just starting to transition into clothes with more of an edge, befitting a young lady on the cusp of teenhood. She really loved the catholic schoolgirl look and played around with different, varied tops to pair with the skirts, tights, and oxford or Mary Jane shoes she preferred. She wore her shoulder-length orange hair straight, as usual, with a headband holding it back off her inquisitive face. Her deep blue eyes never lost focus.

Lily sat beside her older sister, the two year age difference not at all visible in their physical size. It wasn’t all that obvious in their demeanor at the moment either. Lily was almost as excited about the graduation ceremony as Josie was, but not quite. The young blonde viewed it as entertainment and was wholeheartedly happy to be in Alumni Stadium with her family as they cheered on the eldest sibling of them all. Lily’s smile was only replaced by a laugh or a giggle for almost the entire time spent at BC that morning. She took everything in with wide-eyed wonder as she listened to conversations around her and watched interactions and exchanges among her favorite people in the world. Four years earlier, the adorable 7-year old had dressed more like Ashlyn and worn a tie like both of her brothers. This year she wore a simple cotton jersey dress, knee-length and bright blue, with flats that were both comfortable and cute. Her long, blonde hair was loose down her back with two sections above her ears pulled back behind her head in a pretty, floral barrette. 

Deb sat between Lily and Drew who wanted to sit next to Ken on his other side. The teenager was about to turn 15 in 6 days and he acted disinterested but, somehow, still respectful. He may finally have learned that the quieter he was, the easier it was to stay out of conflicts with his big, boisterous family. Drew didn’t try to be a jerk, but it felt like every time he opened his mouth he got in trouble with somebody for something. He sat in his dress clothes, grey pants, light blue collared shirt with a red and blue striped tie. His long sleeves were down but not buttoned and the tie was loose around the open button at his throat. His thick dark hair had been growing, uncut, for several months and was almost as long as Josie’s now. Believe it or not, it was an improvement over his in-between hair style as it had grown out. He had looked like a chia pet for a while there and almost reconsidered his plan. It was shoulder length and thick and he had trouble getting his baseball cap to stay on his head with all that hair, but he wouldn’t admit that to a living soul. As indifferent as he appeared, Drew was pretty happy to be there for Meg and with Meg, but he’d keep that to himself too.

One of the things the younger Krieger kids had always agreed on was that they all thought the world of their big sister Meg. As Ashlyn surveyed her children, making sure they weren’t disturbing anybody as the ceremony moved on again, she was filled with love and pride. She hadn’t expected such an emotional response and had to look away and blink to keep the tears at bay. Ali leaned into her shoulder and squeezed her bicep, acknowledging the sensitive blonde’s reaction without completely understanding what it was about. The brunette was dressed as she often was for social events, this time wearing a bit more jewelry than usual and fancier shoes. Her dress was close-fitting, below the knee, cap-sleeved, and lightweight with a scoop neck. They were having an early warm spell in New England that weekend which was a welcome respite from the gloomy and chilly April they had endured. Ali’s dress was mostly caramel colored with broad swoops of maroon splashed across it. Ashlyn had teased her about trying to match the caps and gowns of the graduates but the brunette had simply pointed at the maroon pocket square and tie the keeper was wearing and that was the end of that. Ali’s dark brown hair was back in a low bun at the nape of her neck so it was easy to see the gold hoop earrings that accompanied her gold bracelet, watch, and necklace.

Ashlyn looked good in a smart blue suit, even though she had decided to leave her suit jacket in the car. It was too warm to wear that day and she enjoyed folding her sleeves up to her elbows, as she typically did whenever possible. She didn’t work on her arms in the basement gym for nothing and her dark tattoos stood out next to the crisp, white shirt. The keeper had recently cut her hair all off again, back at the end of March and was sporting another sweet fade. This time she had kept her hair blonde on top, only the tightly trimmed sides and back showed her natural light brown color. Ashlyn knew she’d grow it out again though. She, like young Lily, loved her long hair too much to be without it for too much time.

As the keeper harnessed her emotions and took a deep breath, she turned to see those amber, tiger eyes of the woman she loved checking in on her.

‘You ok?’ Ali asked wordlessly with a lift of an eyebrow and a tender smile.

‘Better now’ Ashlyn replied in kind, a small smile and soft blink of her eyes reassuring the brunette.

Just as the blonde’s mind had wandered during the speeches that morning, Ali’s thoughts had sailed all the way back to the events that had taken place during the end of winter and early Spring that year. Nobody could believe it was May 21st already, least of all Alexandra Krieger. 

January had closed out much less dramatically than they had expected. Everybody recovered nicely from the stomach virus that had swept through the big old house mid-month. Meg and her friends had moved into the rental house for their final semester of college without further delay or fuss. Edgar Guerrero and Lizzy Harris both celebrated their 14th birthdays in January and the Kriegers enjoyed another year of exchanging 3 small gifts for Epiphany. They had turned it into a secret santa type of affair several years ago to keep it simpler and more economical. They drew names right after Christmas, just the 4 of the youngest Kriegers and the two moms. Meg wasn’t around much in January, even when she was a student at BC, so she didn’t participate. That was the only rule – you had to be there to share gifts on Epiphany. Next year Ali hoped both her mom, Deb, and Meg would be around to take part but it was too soon to tell.

The first annual Krieger Epiphany party for the adult neighbors had been a big success last year, and Ashlyn was eager to build off of that this year. They hosted again, followed much of the same itinerary as last year, and delivered another fun evening where neighbors got a little closer to each other and shared more of their lives with one another. The alcohol flowed freely again and, much like last year, Ali and Ashlyn learned more about the mysterious feud that had divided some of the best friends in the neighborhood for the past 5 years. Each new clue, divulged like last year – after Robin Evans drank a little too much, helped fill in the puzzle that nobody but the Evans, Barry, Donaldson, and Goldman families had a clear picture of. The Evans-Barry kerfuffle was still not talked about openly amongst any of the neighbors, but the families not involved – the McPhails, Riveras, Van Aucks, Irvings, and Kriegers – were getting closer and closer to figuring things out. Well, mostly just the Kriegers and Riveras. The McPhails and Van Aucks didn’t seem to care and the Irvings were still the new kids on the block and barely had a handle on anybody’s friendships – forget about scandals and real neighborhood drama.

Last year Ali and Ashlyn had deduced that the schism had been caused by something that happened among the kids when they had all been in high school together 4-5 years earlier. This year it had been made very clear by a candid Robin Evans remark, and the accompanying supportive responses from the Donaldsons and Goldmans, that the Barrys were the villains of the story. More specifically, one of the Barry boys. It felt to Ashlyn and Ali like a mystery novel you could only read one chapter of each year.

The new twist to this year’s Epiphany party, which was held on Saturday, January 7th, was that Josie went across the street to babysit for the Irvings. Emery was 4 years old this year while little Avery was 2 and Josie would have had her hands full if Dennis and Claudia hadn’t taken the time to wear both of their girls out that afternoon. The Irvings had become a favorite of everybody in the neighborhood. Claudia was charming and endearing and Dennis, although still a borderline workaholic, had found a way to be home a lot more on the weekends to be with his young family. Many of the moms and dads on the street had worried about ambitious Mr. Irving and his backbreaking commercial real estate schedule. But he had seen the light and changed his ways – at least on the weekends, and everybody was glad about it. Dennis had scored points with the Kriegers specifically when he took on the job of coaching Emery’s youth soccer team last Fall. 

Both Emery and Avery were frequent visitors to the big old house. Claudia knew that they would always be welcome across the street for a quick visit, or even a longer one if anybody was home to receive them. Ali and Ashlyn had said and done all the right things to help support the busy young stay at home mom across the street. As soon as one of the girls heard anybody playing anything in the Krieger yard or driveway, they begged their mom to go and say hi. So Claudia would take them across the street for a quick visit, usually with Honey the golden retriever in tow. If it was late enough in the afternoon there was a good chance Julie Donaldson, after her high school nurse day was done, would come out to laugh and chat too. Emery and Avery were so freaking cute with their dark curls and blonde locks respectively, and they were sweet as pie unless they were tired or hungry. 

The Krieger kids weren’t always happy to see their young neighbors, however. Dodge got frustrated because they always wanted to play with him and that meant he couldn’t kick the soccer ball as hard as he wanted to and had to tone things way down no matter what they were playing. Drew avoided them as much as possible so he wouldn’t get asked to watch one of them for even a short period of time. As the oldest kid on premises he often was expected to retrieve Emery or Avery, usually Avery, and guide her back to the group. Josie liked the little girls and had seen them originally as a really cool extension of all of her dolls. The problem with Emery and Avery was that they didn’t always do exactly what Josie wanted them to do, like her dolls did. Lily was the most patient with the Irving girls and became little Avery’s favorite person in the whole neighborhood. The little blonde girl looked up to Lily the same way Josie had looked up to Meg and, to some degree, Hannah. Blonde hair was nowhere near as rare as red hair so it wasn’t quite the same thing, but it was plain to see Avery identifying with the other blonde girl with the friendly smile and easy laugh.

“You all should be nicer to both Emery and Avery” Ali chastised them lightly one evening at the dinner table. “All they want to do is be near you for a little while. It won’t kill you to be patient with them.”

“That’s right” Ashlyn added. “Try and remember how cool you thought it was when Emma and Micky and Justin came over and hung out with you guys.” She paused for effect and felt thankful that Drew and Josie both took the minute to reflect. “It’s the same thing. Now it’s your turn.”

The night of the Epiphany party, Ashlyn waited by the mudroom door after saying goodnight to the Irvings. She knew Josie could walk across the freaking street by herself. She was 12-1/2 years old for God’s sake! But it was late and dark and the keeper just couldn’t help herself. Her phone dinged and she saw Claudia’s text, letting her know they had paid Josie and the girl would be on her way home any minute. 

“Is she on her way?” Ali asked from behind her, poking her head out of the kitchen where she was starting the party clean-up.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded and they exchanged sheepish looks. “I know it’s stupid...”

“Hey, I get it” Ali smiled as she turned back into the kitchen. “I’m not saying a word.”

She wasn’t saying a word because she really did understand her keeper’s struggle. It was hard being a parent. You carry a baby inside you for 9 months and then take care of her every single demand and want and need for 12 years. Then...what? After all of that time making sure she was safe and protected and out of harm’s way, you were just supposed to not worry about her anymore? How the hell did that work? Both moms wished someone would explain that trick to them because they could not figure it out for the life of them. All of that was hard. But when you factored in Ashlyn’s overprotective streak and then added in Josie’s unique birth situation it was nearly impossible for either mom NOT to worry about their daughter. As much as they both tried not to treat Josie any differently than they treated Drew in similar situations, it happened a lot. Part of it was that Josie would always be that fragile creature in the NICU who had yellow skin and an impossibly tiny body. And the other part of it was that parents worried more about their girls out in the world at night. As far as the equality and equal pay fights had progressed over the years, the world was still far more hostile and dangerous for women than for men. The saving grace for Ali and Ashlyn, as usual, was that one of them was almost always able to drag the other one out of the worry before too long. It wasn’t always Ali comforting Ashlyn either. They both had their moments of anxiety over the kids and their expanding, terrifying freedom.

When she thought she could see a figure walking up the dimly lit driveway, Ashlyn stepped outside, ignoring the cold night air. As she moved to the edge of the small porch outside the mudroom door she caught sight of Dennis Irving standing at the foot of the driveway with a flashlight in his hand. The keeper grinned. Moments like that, gestures of kindness and good deeds like that, were what parents remembered most when it came to their kids. If somebody, anybody, was good to one of her kids – Ashlyn couldn’t help but love that person a little bit, for at least a few moments. It was times like that when the decency of a human being could be felt and measured. Ashlyn herself would have done the very same thing that Dennis had done for Josie that night, as would most of her friends. But not everybody would have. It was such a short walk. It probably took him longer to get the flashlight than it did for Josie to make the walk home. But he did it anyway, just as Ashlyn or Ali would have done the same. The world could be brutal and scary sometimes, but moments and neighbors like that made you feel like there was still so much good in the world. It gave you hope. That hope and that goodness was what parents like Ashlyn and Ali and Dennis relied on to give them the strength to allow their children to explore the freedom they would need to grow and develop into decent human beings of their own. 

As Ali sat at Alumni Stadium her mind veered from the hope of Epiphany and good neighbors to the stark, biting sadness of divorce. She had no idea what had made her brain make that leap. Maybe because she and Ashlyn had worried about Dennis and Claudia splitting up when they had first met the new neighbors. They didn’t think it would happen now, especially with the changes Dennis was clearly trying to make. However she had jumped there, Ali frowned ever so slightly as she tried to push the depressing thoughts of Sarah and Erin and their crumbling marriage out of her head. Just as had happened when her friend Erica’s divorce occurred back in 2026, Ali took it hard. The brunette had been overwhelmed by sadness and near-depression 8 years earlier when Erica’s husband decided he wasn’t cut out to be a father and walked out of his wife and 2-year old daughter’s lives for good. Ali had felt it deep in her soul – the fear of losing the thing she relied on the most. She couldn’t imagine a life without Ashlyn by her side...she didn’t want to try to even see what that looked like. No fucking way. She simply refused to do it. So when somebody that she was close to, somebody whom Ali felt had a good relationship and a solid marriage, went through a divorce or even a separation – it affected the brunette. 

There had been other people in their lives who had ended their long-term relationships or gotten separated and then divorced and they had all punched small holes in Ali’s heart at the time. Gradually the hole got filled in but it was a true weakness in the brunette’s otherwise strong existence. Her ultimate fear was losing Ashlyn. The one thing she couldn’t coax herself around was that terrifying idea. She had never been able to do it and she knew that the longer she and Ashlyn were together the less likely her chances of surviving some kind of devastating separation became. Sarah Warren, the architect and Ali’s ex, and Erin Campbell had been happily married for 11 years when the trouble began last year. Nobody did anything wrong. They were both just growing and changing and instead of doing it together along the same path, their roads had diverged along the way. Erin had always been a little flighty, in Ali’s opinion, but there was no doubt that she loved Sarah. The architect was the steadier of the two in the relationship, which was right in line with the way Sarah had always been in every part of her life. From the outside looking in, it seemed like Erin was growing away from the relationship. To her credit she had been the one to bring it up with her wife in the first place. Erin recognized some anxiety and angst inside herself and sought to cure it with Sarah at her side. They started couples counseling and it had been a long, painful year of waiting for their paths to reconnect so they could continue their life together. They were both committed to trying to make it work. Neither of them wanted to put their daughter Daphne through the trauma of a divorce unless it was absolutely necessary. 

But late that winter, at the end of February, Erin had moved out of the large family condo in the Fenway area and into a nearby apartment, trying to stay close by for 10-year old Daphne. The split, described as temporary but feeling very permanent, had shaken up the close group of friends. Ali, Molly, and Syd were closer with Sarah. Niki, Whitney, and Ashlyn were closer with Erin. By mid-May they were all still learning to navigate life with the post-split Campbell-Warrens. Sarah and Erin weren’t nearly as close to the Kriegers as the other four families were, but they had been a nice addition to the bigger group and were well-liked by almost everyone. Erin, a talented horticulturist and self-described weirdo for plants and gardens, took a bit of getting used to at first. But once you got to know her you could understand why Sarah had fallen for her. They were completely different in so many ways and they made a great example of opposites attract. Until they didn’t anymore. Molly Cross was the person who was the closest to either troubled woman. She had formed and maintained a very close friendship with Sarah over the years and was the source of most of the information Ali received about the split. Likewise, Niki was the closest of their group to Erin. 

Ali did her best not to let the separation shake her too badly, but it was a struggle for her. She put it all on the back burner, as much as possible, once busy March came along that year. The brunette in the stadium seats physically shook her head to change the topic inside of it. Fuck March.

Before March they celebrated birthdays in February for Cristina Guerrero – 12, Tori Wild – 2, and Chris Harris – 50! The bad news was that Aunt Becky, Uncle Scott Krieger’s insufferable wife, had finally passed away that month. She had been vile and horrible so often that it was genuinely difficult for some members of the extended family to mourn her. She had been a thorn in Ali’s side for as long as the brunette could remember but Ali chose to mourn the loss her cousins were feeling even if she couldn’t bring herself to grieve for the awful woman herself. Ali’s young kids had jokingly but accurately referred to her as ‘Aunt Blechy’ and that pretty much told you everything you needed to know. Still, Ali felt bad for Uncle Scott and was glad to see her own father spending time with the grieving widower.

They enjoyed Valentine’s Day, February vacation at home because the kids were too busy with different activities to get away to Florida, and the beginning of NWSL season. In 2034, for the first time, the NWSL lengthened its season which meant the players didn’t have to go overseas to play and stay in shape for 3 or 4 months every winter. Preseason and training camp were in February and the regular season started in early March, much like the MLS schedule. But the playoff schedule wasn’t as long and drawn out as MLS. The NWSL had their 3 weeks of playoff games the last week of October and the first 2 weeks in November. Championship Week took place the 3rd week of November, right before Thanksgiving week.

The other February event of note had been Ali and Ashlyn’s 18th ‘February Anniversary’. They still preferred to celebrate the day they had first shared their love with each other instead of their wedding anniversary in August. But, truthfully, they loved both days and made sure to mark them accordingly. This year for their February anniversary they went to New York City for a long weekend of couple time and enjoyed every minute of it. 

A big gust of wind blew into Alumni Stadium as Ali’s thoughts progressed naturally to the arduous month of March. She focused for a quick minute on the class valedictorian speaking at the podium but he wasn’t able to keep her attention. There were some really wonderful things that happened in blustery March, including Josie’s triumphant first time at the Massachusetts Music Educators’ Association (MMEA) District Festival. With three separate ensembles in the Junior Festival, the talented redhead had dazzled even her family who already knew just how good she was. She played the flute in concert band, the piano in jazz band, and she sang in the chorale. It had been a wonderful first-time experience for Josie and the family. Even her young siblings recognized the advanced quality of the performances and commented about it.

Another great thing that happened in March, in addition to the five birthdays that had always seemed to fit so nicely together in Women’s History month, even the lone male in the group: Penny Cross – 12, Meg – 22, Tammye – 71, Becca Flanagan – 9, and Maddox Dwyer – 10, was that Deb finally moved North officially. Mike Christopher had died at the end of October in 2032 and his widow was ready to say goodbye to most of her life in Miami after almost 18 months. Deb had a wonderful group of friends down there and she struggled with her decision to leave them. But, ultimately, it had come down to being closer to her grandchildren and her own kids too. She had just as many friends in Massachusetts still and she and Mike had been spending so much time there the past decade anyway that it felt a lot like coming home.

Deb contemplated buying a small condo near Miami to make visiting easier but decided against it. If she changed her mind in the future she could always buy something later. She also liked the way Tammye and Carol had rented houses for their longer visits up north before buying one of their own. If Deb wanted to go spend a month in the sun next Winter she could always do something like that. For the time being she moved into the condo on the golf course in Manchester, Massachusetts that she and Mike had shared each summer. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay there long term or not. She planned to take her time on that decision.

Ali was thrilled to have her mom back in Massachusetts and she made sure to tell her so. The mother and daughter had grown closer and closer over the years and Ali realized that she relied on her mom far more than she thought she did. It wasn’t just about being there to help with the kids, which Deb had always done more than anybody except probably Ken and Vicki because they lived nearby all year round. No, Ali relied on Deb for advice and wisdom and experience with everything having to do with motherhood and wifehood and womanhood. She wasn’t even sure when it happened, or when it shifted, but she had found herself talking a lot more to Deb and about many other subjects than they had traditionally conversed. As soon as Ali had become a mother she had changed the way she thought about her own mother. It happened to most new parents. The fact of parenthood made them reconsider their own relationship with mom and dad because they finally understood what it felt like to love somebody the way a parent loves their child. Only the most callow and thoughtless new parent failed to recognize how vast and hard to understand parental love truly was. 

Kyle, on the other hand, had been not surprisingly offended that his mother had chosen to live in Manchester near Ali’s family instead of New York City near his own. He got over it pretty quickly though. He knew that his mother loved his family and kids just as much as she loved Ali’s, he just had to remind himself of it for a little while that Spring. The truth was that Kyle wasn’t as close with either of his parents as his sister was and there was good reason for that. He wouldn’t try to deny it. Ali had been a much easier kid in every way for their parents. Kyle had put them through so much drama and trauma throughout his turbulent early life that he knew that statement could never not be true. There just wasn’t time enough left in his parents’ lifetimes to make up for all the lying and stealing and disappearing and destroying he had done while he was drinking and drugging. And that didn’t even take into consideration the arrests and other brushes with the law that his parents had helped him through either. 

Kyle had grown up a lot over the past decade. He had really made his 40s about being a great husband and father while still trying to be a good filmmaker and photographer and social media influencer. It hadn’t been easy, but his whole family – both his kids and husband as well as his sister and parents – were incredibly proud of him. 

The crowd at Alumni Stadium erupted in laughter as Amy Poehler began her speech. Ali heard one of her favorite sounds in the world, Ashlyn’s laughter, and her heart swelled. When the keeper leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek, Ali smiled and felt strong enough to continue her survey of the first few months of the year. Her aching heart filled up now and ready to move quickly through the hard part of March.

“It’ll be ok. There’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure babe” Ali had reassured her wife back in early March.

The brunette had just come home from work on Thursday, March 2nd – she wouldn’t forget that date anytime soon - and was changing clothes when Ashlyn approached her with worry in her eyes and an opened letter in her hand. They both had places to be and kids to pick up or drop off but everything would have to wait. For a moment Ali thought it was one of the dreaded form letters from her ultrasound – the letter where a machine typed out the words telling you there was something suspicious that needed more investigation. But that didn’t make any sense because her last ultrasound had been in January and she wasn’t scheduled for her next one until April. The timing was all wrong. No, when she looked at the letter from Dr. Comello’s office she had to read it three times to take it in. 

She saw words like ‘anomaly’ and ‘unclear’ and ‘retest’ but it wasn’t until she saw ‘mammogram’ and her wife’s name at the top of the letter that her heart sank.

Ashlyn’s family history with breast cancer was scary. It wasn’t quite as terrifying as Ali’s family history with ovarian cancer, but it wasn’t a fucking competition. Breast cancer was scary as hell and even though the scientists and researchers were closer than ever to finding a cure for the deadly disease, it still killed almost 40,000 people every year in the US. It was still the most common cancer to women in the entire world. Every two minutes, a woman in the US was diagnosed with breast cancer. Early detection was still the best hope for dodging the breast cancer bullet if it ran in your family and both Ali and Ashlyn had religiously done breast self-exams and gotten their annual mammograms. Nothing had ever appeared on any of them before, not for either woman. 

But Ali saw the fear in her wife’s eyes late that March afternoon. She knew the thoughts that were racing through her keeper’s mind and probably had been for the 3 hours since she had retrieved and opened the mail. 

“I’m sure it’s just a cyst or something that they haven’t seen before” she nodded and smiled softly at Ashlyn before pulling her in for a tight, terrified hug. The keeper’s hands were chilly on her bare back but Ali didn’t flinch or pull away – she just squeezed harder. “Just like with Syd, remember?”

Ashlyn nodded mutely as they stood there together for several more minutes. Ali could feel her wife’s heart rate starting to slow down and return to normal, her breathing evening out over her shoulder as they embraced and twisted slowly from side to side. The brunette had spoken the truth and they both desperately wanted to believe she was right. But in the back of both of their minds was an indomitable old woman who had been taken down hard, and more than once, by breast cancer. Neither one of them was brave enough to say her name just yet or start down that road of the conversation. Not yet.

“But what if...” Ashlyn’s soft voice was high and full of anxiety, while still not more than a whisper. She couldn’t finish her question.

Ali’s heart broke to hear both the words and the silence that befell the tender blonde immediately afterwards.

“What if nothing” she finally pulled back and held Ashlyn’s face in both hands, squeezing just enough to get her to look up and meet her determined gaze. “Whatever it is, benign little cyst, or...something else” her voice rose slightly even though she was trying hard to keep it steady and calm, “we’ll take care of it together. Just like always, right?” she nodded her head reassuringly even as she felt the tears starting to spring up in her own eyes as they stared back into the frightened, watery hazel ones in front of her. “I’ve got you Ashlyn. I know it’s scary right now, I won’t lie, but it’s probably nothing. Just a little something to scare the shit out of both of us for a minute. That’s all.”

“You think?” Ashlyn asked through an exhale of pent up breath, her small hopeful voice sounding so much like Lily’s right in that moment that Ali felt a pang in her own chest.

“I do think” she nodded as she used her thumbs to wipe away the tears that had fallen down her keeper’s beautiful, distraught face. “I really really do.”

The next four weeks, the entire rest of the month really, were extremely difficult for both women to get through. They were constantly distracted by the nagging idea that breast cancer was going to try and come for the keeper, just as it had come for Gram over and over again until it finally killed her. The good things happening in March helped fend off the frightening thoughts for brief periods of time but those refreshing breaks from the stress never lasted nearly long enough. Ali went with Ashlyn for her follow-up mammogram, and then cried with her in the shower three days later when the results came back the same as the first time. Dr. Comello did her best to keep both women steady through the difficult time and got them in to see an oncologist, a breast cancer specialist, in half the time it would normally have taken. Doctors weren’t supposed to play favorites but Patty Comello had been through it all with Ali and Ashlyn and there was no way she wasn’t going to do everything in her power to help them now.

The oncologist did a breast biopsy that came back negative and the whole ordeal was over almost as quickly as it had come up. As soon as the calendar page turned to April, there was no more talk about the breast cancer scare. It had been a month-long bad dream that both Ali and Ashlyn woke up from with gratitude, relief, and a lot more perspective. Ali had held it together and been strong for her keeper all month long. She was optimistic and positive at every stage of the process, without being naïve or Pollyanna-ish about it. She was processing facts with her logical approach and hoping that would allow her to make Ashlyn feel safer and healthier and more secure. It worked. The blonde had her struggles and her dark moments during that awful month of not knowing, but she held herself together. The other breast cancer story that haunted her was the tragic death of Ethan Machado’s mother, before Ethan and Drew had even met in preschool. Sam Machado’s first wife, Maggie, had died at age 39 and there wasn’t a day during the month of March that Ashlyn didn’t think about that. She got some help from Dr. Cassidy Emerson, her therapist, of course, and the fact that Ashlyn made the two appointments herself was proof of just how much more mature she had become over the years. Gone were the days where she let her mental health take a back seat to whatever else was going on in her life. It was too risky. She looked at her mental health the way the addicts in her life looked at their sobriety. It was a gift that she had worked hard for and she wasn’t going to give it up lightly. 

Ali and Ashlyn didn’t tell anybody except their besties at first. They didn’t want the kids to worry and they didn’t trust the grandparents to keep their mouths shut anymore. Over the course of the month they told Deb and Ali told Kyle but that was really it. Whitney and Sydney did the lion’s share of emotional support and did it well. Ali struggled with it more than she thought she would. It rattled her badly all throughout the month of March. She was so upset and freaked out that she also went to see Dr. Emerson on her own to talk through things. It wasn’t until the very end, after they got the good news about the biopsy results and learned it was indeed just a squirrelly cyst showing up where not many had been before, that Ashlyn realized the toll this had taken on her wife.

“Al, honey, what’s going on? Are you ok?” the keeper asked with concern all over her face when she found Ali bawling her eyes out in the garage loft office the night they got the official post-biopsy all clear letter, Wednesday March 29th. 

It was a Becca Flanagan Wednesday and Ali had arranged it so that the sweet girl who had just turned 9 years old 2 days before could spend the night. It was a rare school night treat that only happened once in a while because of Tommy’s ERT situation. In fact, it wasn’t really necessary that night but the brunette had asked Whitney if it would be ok. She was doing everything she could that week to keep Ashlyn distracted and busy while they awaited the outcome of the biopsy. When the letter came that very afternoon the two wives had celebrated quietly in their bathroom before getting back to kid stuff and their beloved overnight guest. Ashlyn was on cloud 9 and she thought her beautiful brunette had been as well. But when she couldn’t find Ali for almost a full hour Wednesday night she started to get concerned.

“Baby, please, talk to me” she implored as she knelt into the edge of the yogibo bean bag chair Ali was curled up in, blubbering like a baby. “You’re scaring me...”

The brunette gasped for breath as the tears streamed down her face. She reached for Ashlyn and pulled her into a fierce, awkward hug that ended up with the keeper laying on her side across Ali’s lap with the brunette’s head tucked into her shoulder and neck. They squirmed for a couple of minutes until they were both reasonably comfortable and Ashlyn held her wife until her tears slowed down enough for Ali to speak. While the keeper waited, it slowly dawned on her that her brave wife had been through an emotional ringer that month. Ashlyn had dutifully checked in with the brunette, just as Ali had always done with the blonde when it was her ultrasounds that were causing them both anxiety, but Ashlyn hadn’t pushed very hard this time. She took Ali at her word and believed her when she said she was ok. The keeper simply didn’t have the reserve strength that Ali had developed over the years of scary ultrasound results. 

“I’m ok honey, you saw the results yourself” Ashlyn spoke softly as she used her sweatshirt sleeve to dry off her wife’s cheeks. “It was scary as fuck, I know it was. And you were so strong for me Al...so fucking strong. I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you...”

“Don’t” Ali straightened up when she heard that. “Don’t say that” she shook her head and sniffled, using her own sleeve to finish wiping away the tears and snot from her messy face. “You were amazing and you did everything right Ash. Everything. You were perfect. You were so strong” she choked out, fighting to stay in control of her unwieldy emotions. “Don’t you apologize for one goddamned thing.”

“Ok...?” the keeper frowned and pulled her wife back into her body again, happy that Ali grabbed onto her tightly this time. 

They held each other for another minute, but they both knew their time was fleeting. It was time for dessert and a movie or tv show before bed and one of them had to get back in there before the kids came looking for them. 

“Can I apologize for ruining your hiding spot though?” Ashlyn chuckled and pressed a kiss into her wife’s head, thankful that Ali giggled too. “It’s a genius place – they never come in here after dinner” they both laughed because it was true.

Drew had always been the biggest chicken of all the kids and he had gotten spooked one night in the garage and did his best to make sure all the kids thought it was too scary to go out there at night.

“Oh...” Ali sighed and then took a big breath. She had a very small smile on her face that looked like it might disappear at any minute. “I really needed that. The cry and the laugh. Thank you.”

“Happy to help” Ashlyn leaned back and gave her lips a soft, sweet kiss. “You ok? Really though? And you know it’s ok if you’re not” she added quickly. “I know I don’t have to tell you that, but just in case...”

“No, I know” Ali sighed again, loving how quiet it was up there. “I just...I don’t know” she shook her head lightly. “I was doing ok, really I was” she nodded sincerely to make sure her keeper knew she was telling the truth. “And then it started to get to me and I couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. I was having, like, déjà vu only we’ve never done this before, not with you anyway” she shrugged. “Then last week while I was waiting for you...when you were having the biopsy” she shivered at the memory and then melted into Ashlyn’s comforting squeeze before continuing. “It was like I transported back to when you were playing...”

“Oh, geez, now I get it” it was Ashlyn’s turn to nod sympathetically. “You haven’t had to worry about me getting my ribs broken or my face kicked in for a very long time now, have you?” she smiled sweetly at her wife. “I know you’ll never admit it but you were so relieved when I retired, weren’t you?”

“No, not relieved” Ail shook her head and sniffled again as the turbulent emotions from 12 years earlier came back to her in a rush. “I was pissed off. Not at you” she added quickly. “But at the team for not appreciating you enough. For thinking you didn’t have what it took to be a starter anymore. You tell me the truth – I’ve never asked you this before either – if you had been the starter you would have rehabbed your knee and come back, no matter what, wouldn’t you?”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as she thought back to the tumultuous time in her life. 

“Probably” she nodded slowly. “But I don’t know for sure. I really wanted to have a baby” she grinned at the brunette who blinked back softly at her. “But yeah, I probably would have come back if I was the clear #1.” She paused and kissed Ali’s head again. “But let’s not change the subject. If you tell me this is just you letting it all out after holding everything together for the both of us all month, I’ll believe you. But are you sure? Are you really ok baby?”

“Yeah, I’m ok. I just...I don’t know how to explain it” she squinted as she searched for the right words. “It felt like a muscle memory or something. Worrying about you, about you getting hurt. It just all came flooding back. I don’t know how I used to handle all the fear and worry I had for you when you were playing. I really don’t” she chuckled but her eyes were wide as she thought about how frightened she had always been for Ashlyn’s safety. “This...this month just reminded me of all of that. It brought it all back and I guess I wasn’t ready to feel all of that again. I’m out of practice or something.”

“You’ve been my rock Al” Ashlyn spoke softly and her voice shook with emotion. “I was a mess, all month, and you made everything so much easier for me. All of it. I can’t thank you enough...”

“You don’t have to honey” Ali gave her keeper’s cheek a gentle kiss and squeezed her hip. “That’s what I’m here for, and that’s what you do for me too. That’s how this whole thing works, right?” she asked with pure love and devotion in her eyes. “We promised to do this for each other on our wedding day. I lift you up when you need it and you treat me like a queen every other day of the year” she joked, hoping to lighten the mood a bit and reassure her still-tender wife that everything was truly alright.

“Oh I see how it is” Ashlyn chuckled and began tickling the brunette and making her squeal.

It was a very brief, low-level tickle session though because Ali was still being very careful with her wife’s recently biopsied left breast. When they settled down a few minutes later they shared a long, slow kiss and rested their foreheads together for another minute.

“You take all the time you need out here” Ashlyn kissed her wife’s lips again, then grinned when Ali stole another quick peck as they pulled away. “I’ve got it handled in there.”

“You say that now” Ali giggled. “You have no idea what’s waiting for us in there though.”

“You speak the truth sugarplum” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “What have I done?”

“Nothing we can’t handle together” Ali tried to be funny but her voice revealed how emotional she still was about their month-long ordeal. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Is it almost time for Meg to go?” Dodge’s bored voice broke through Ali’s walk down memory lane and brought her right back to Boston College graduation day.

“Soon honey. Soon” she assured the boy even though she had no idea exactly how long she had been daydreaming.

Luckily, she had been right. Once Amy Poehler was finished there was one more prayer and then it was time for diplomas. To expedite things, diplomas were given out at both ends of the stadium, by college, with the announcer alternating quickly from one end to the other. Everybody in the stands got excited and the energy level cranked up another level as the sun rose higher in the late morning sky. 

Ashlyn tilted her head when she looked down the row of loved ones and noticed her wife’s watery eyes. It was too soon for her to be getting emotional over Meg’s big moment – the Woods College of Advancing Studies was understandably at the end of the alphabetical list of colleges getting diplomas. There would be at least another hour before they watched Meg collect her diploma for her BA in Criminal and Social Justice. As far as the keeper could tell, none of the kids had been misbehaving, at least not enough to make their mom cry about it. Maybe it was the peri-menopausal hormones again. Ashlyn was not looking forward to dealing with that herself whenever her time came. It was a helpless feeling watching her wife struggle through it. There wasn’t much the blonde could do to help besides be patient and understanding and maybe offer some humor or distraction now and then. 

“You don’t want your mascara running all over now, do you?” she leaned over and gently teased Ali, reaching her right arm around the brunette’s lower back and patting her hip affectionately. “No sense messing up that beautiful face I love so much” she smiled sweetly, her face only an inch away from the brunette’s. “Meg’s not even in line yet...”

Ali closed her eyes and tilted her head up to help keep the tears from falling as she turned towards her keeper. The brunette left her hand on Ashlyn’s thigh and reached across with her right arm to take her wife’s free hand, squeezing it tightly as she opened her eyes again a couple of seconds later. Without skipping a beat and without any regard to who was around or where they were, Ali captured her wife’s lips in a powerful but chaste kiss. She kept her tongue in her own mouth but brought her hand up behind Ashlyn’s head and held her tightly in place for the 30 second kiss. The brunette kept their foreheads together as their lips separated and closed her eyes again while Ashlyn’s mind spun from the surprisingly intimate interaction.

“You ok baby?” she asked carefully, squeezing Ali’s hip and loving the way their bodies pressed closely together at their shoulders and hips and thighs.

“MmmHmmm” Ali nodded, eyes still closed, as she tried to keep her emotions at bay.

“You sure?” Ashlyn brought their joined hands up to her lips and gave the brunette’s fingers a soft kiss. “What’s up?” she asked quietly as stormy cinnamon eyes finally opened again and blinked slowly back at her.

“Nothing” Ali sighed, embarrassed at her emotional display. Damned hormones. She pulled her head back and took a deep breath while her keeper continued to study her face. “I’m ok. Promise” she nodded again. “Just...thinking, I guess.”

Ashlyn kissed her hand again, understanding instantly where her wife’s mind had just wandered off to. It was someplace she herself visited often those days and she knew it well. The kids’ milestones made you reflect on so many other things too.

“Well cut it out, would ya?” she joked lightly. There was no way she could let her beautiful brunette turn her into a bawling mess too. Not yet anyway. She was having a hard enough time with Meg graduating. “I’m ok sugarplum” she whispered as she leaned in to give Ali’s lips a light peck. “Fit as a fiddle. Healthy as a horse...”

Ali chuckled and then gave her another kiss, shorter than her first one but longer than Ashlyn’s simple peck a moment before. The brunette’s mood shifted and she felt a wave of euphoria sweep over her. Ashlyn was ok. There had been no breast cancer. Nothing was wrong and there was no need to be so clingy and pathetic and afraid about something that millions of women went through every single day – a benign biopsy. Stupid hormones were not making things easy for Ali that day though. The ecstasy she felt now was too much for her to corral any more than the fear and sadness from a moment ago. Instead of worrying about it right in that moment, with everyone around them and the PA announcer calling out names every 20 seconds, Ali tried to focus on the one sure thing she knew would ground her and keep her steady, no matter what. The one thing she had always been able to count on when times were hard. The one thing that could cheer her up or make her forget her troubles in mere minutes. The one thing that was at the root of everything good in her life, and in her heart.

“I love you so much” she smiled as she locked eyes with her keeper, but her words were earnest and heartfelt. “Just...tell me that you know that...that you can still feel it...”

“I know it Al” Ashlyn nodded seriously, knowing it was important for the brunette to hear then. “I feel it. I’ve always felt it. And I know I always will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to go back and read about Meg's high school graduation flashback, it was Part 12 Chapter 1.


	2. Bunker Hill Day Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I dropped the ball this week. I apologize. Not a great start and I promise I'll do better. I'll be posting another chapter tomorrow to make up for it.
> 
> How about that Thorns win today?!!!! I've never cheered for them in my life, but damned if I wasn't a passionate Portland fan today! What a game by Eckerstrom. Good for her. And my fave Angela Salem was her usual steady and deceptively great holding mid. Can't wait for tonight's game too. The Knockout round is lit so far!!
> 
> Oh, and smut warning in this chapter. :)

Bunker Hill Day was an old and odd holiday in the Boston area. Many citizens of Massachusetts didn’t even know it was an official state holiday and that was because only one small part of Boston got to celebrate it. Suffolk County – which was comprised of the cities of Boston, Chelsea, Winthrop, and Revere - was the only place it was recognized. All the kids in those 4 cities got June 17th off to commemorate the battle of Bunker Hill, also known as the Battle of Breed’s Hill, which took place on June 17, 1775 during the American Revolutionary War. All state and city government was closed in those 4 localities and the public services was on a limited Sundays and Holidays schedule. 

Part of the irony and oddness of the holiday was that Bunker Hill wasn’t even located in any of those 4 cities. The Battle of Breed’s Hill had taken place in nearby Charlestown, MA and that’s where the Bunker Hill Monument had been completed back in 1843. To make things even more confusing, the 221-foot granite obelisk monument was located on Breed’s Hill, just a few miles to the South of Bunker Hill. It was a fitting story that went along well with the popular tale that cows meandering around the city of Boston had formed the paved roads that created such confounding traffic to this very day in the modern city.

Regardless of how exclusionary the holiday was for most of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Suffolk County celebrated Bunker Hill Day with a parade as well as the day off from work for city employees. If June 17th fell on a day during the work week, then that was the holiday. It changed from year to year, and if the 17th fell on a weekend, as it did this year in 2034, then the Friday before was the holiday. The parade always took place on the closest Sunday to the 17th and thousands of citizens made their way to Charlestown to watch the accompanying pomp and circumstance. The rest of that Sunday was full of historic reenactments and somber visitations to the centuries old cemeteries in the area where veterans of the Revolutionary War had been buried so very long ago.

The Kriegers had no reason to acknowledge Bunker Hill Day because none of them lived or worked in Boston or the three other smaller cities of Suffolk County. That was until the Mental Health Initiative office opened in downtown Boston back in 2023. Ever since then, Ashlyn went to her corner office a few days a week and was usually home in time to pick the twins up from elementary school. As always, she and Ali adjusted their schedules as much as necessary so the keeper could be at the MHI office when they needed her. Ashlyn made a point to spend time at least once a week in the Boston office, but it wasn’t always easy. Being the mom who was home most days and who was the one the school nurse called to pick up sick children was still a responsibility Ashlyn wanted. That hadn’t changed. She still felt it was an important part of the parenting balance she and her wife had established and maintained for the past several years.

But there were days when Ashlyn really wanted to be the one to go to the office every day. When those feelings crept in, she found a way to be in her MHI office more than usual, in large part because Ali was sensitive to the issue and eager to help. The brunette knew the feeling, but in reverse, so she was sympathetic. There were times when Ali wanted to be the stay at home mom who worked from the garage loft office. It would have been nice and much more convenient if those two yearnings ever coincided, but, of course, they did not. Ashlyn’s yen for the MHI office routine always seemed to come at a time when Ali was particularly busy at the Knight Harris office. But that would have been too easy. Life just didn’t work that way.

Part of the allure of the MHI office for Ashlyn was that she was always busy and in demand when she made her appearances there. On an average week she was in the office twice, maybe three times, from about 10am to 1:00pm. If she had arranged for Ali to pick the kids up then she could stay at the office all afternoon. If the keeper had an important lunch meeting where she was wining and dining prospective new donors or board members, then that’s what Ali would do. Sometimes, when there was an important dinner to attend, Ashlyn didn’t go into the office until mid-afternoon. Regardless of when she was there, she rarely had a spare moment – and she liked it that way. It was an adrenaline buzz for her and she fed off the energy in the office space and from her talented, determined colleagues.

Friday, June 16, 2034 was a day that Ashlyn had been looking forward to for weeks. She was scheduled to be at the MHI office all day to shoot a series of promotional videos encouraging people to open up about mental health. The night before, Ashlyn stood in front of her bedroom closet trying to make her final decision on which three outfits she was going to bring with her for the next day’s filming. It was after 10pm and she wanted to get her wife’s opinion before officially relaxing for what was left of the night. One suit was hanging on a hook right next to the closet, facing the bed and the rest of the bedroom. Another suit was draped over the back of the dressing table chair in the corner by the master bathroom. And the third, more casual outfit was hanging on three separate coat hangers off the fireplace mantel by Ali’s side of the bed. The brunette herself sat cross-legged in the middle of the big bed in her pajamas squinting through her glasses as she considered each question her wife threw her way. 

“What about this one?” Ashlyn pulled a dress shirt out and held it up inside the suit jacket by the closet, draping the new tie that was the basis for the whole outfit over the shirt as well.

“Hmmm...” Ali pursed her lips as she considered the new pairing. “That works, but the blue shirt makes the colors in the tie show up a little bit more. I don’t know why.”

The new tie was dark blue with small, 1” rainbows in a traditional diagonal pattern. It was easily the most traditional rainbow pride tie either woman had ever seen. And that was part of the reason Ashlyn loved it so much. She wanted to appeal to a broader audience and she hoped this new tie might be a way to look more conventional while still proudly being true to herself. It was Pride month after all, and even though she was willing to do almost anything to secure more funding for the MHI cause that was nearest and dearest to her heart, including toning down her lesbian light a little bit, she was still going to represent.

“It does?” Ashlyn moved away from the suit in question to get a better look. “I would have thought this white one would make them pop more” she tilted her head to the side as she spoke. “But you’re right. Blue one it is” she nodded and returned to her closet. 

Ali watched as her wife put the clothes into the garment bag she would use to transport them the next morning. The brunette would never get tired of looking at her gorgeous keeper. Not ever. Especially not when she was wearing only her underwear and bra. The best part about helping Ashlyn finalize her outfits was getting to watch her try them all on and take them all off again. All Ali was missing was the bowl of popcorn for the show. Before too long she found herself standing behind the blonde and gently running her hands up her wife’s sides and arms and back. The soft kisses to the top of Ashlyn’s shoulders and down her spine came next, the tingling sensation moving quickly from her lips to her hips in no time at all. If she played her cards right their night would end with some fun sexy times. 

“Ow” the keeper winced as she zipped up the garment bag, bending over sharply after reaching up high. “Damn.”

“Did I hurt you?” Ali pulled her hands away and took a step back, wondering if her wife had sustained some kind of injury she wasn’t aware of. 

You never could tell with all the different sports both moms played and practiced with their kids, not to mention their women’s soccer league that they both still played in every Monday night. It had been three full days since they last played soccer and Ali didn’t remember Ashlyn getting hurt. The blonde wasn’t allowed to play keeper – that was the rule their group had established. If you used to play professionally, as Niki Cross, Whitney Flanagan, Cat Whitehill, Kristie Mewis, Rachel Daly, Sammy Johnson, and several other former Boston Breakers all had, then you weren’t allowed to play that position in their women’s over 40 rec league. They played most of their games at the Ashlyn Harris Sports Complex in Gloucester but tried to meet once a month down on the South Shore of Boston, or at least in the Metro West area, so it wasn’t such a long drive for everybody. During the winter they always played at the AHSC because it was the only indoor space they were guaranteed to have access to.

“No, shit” Ashlyn stood up and moved both hands to her lower abs as she sucked in a breath. “I’m ok. Just some cramps” she turned around to face her beautiful brunette and grinned when she saw the beginnings of arousal in the whiskey colored eyes she loved so much.

“Oh, did you get your period today?” Ali frowned, both at her wife’s discomfort and also at her own fading chances of getting laid that night. 

“Nah, just some annoying PMS” Ashlyn winked, trying her best to salvage the romantic road that had opened up right in front of her. “I’m good” she smirked. “Very good.”

The keeper put both hands on Ali’s hips and pulled her in closer, letting her thumb find the sweet spot marked by the wave tattoo near the brunette’s left hip. Ali hesitated for a second, wanting to check in and make sure her wife was indeed ok – the fear from her breast cancer scare had faded farther and farther during the past 2-1/2 months but was still something the brunette thought about more than she cared to admit - but then succumbed to her own desire. At the same time she felt Ashlyn’s warm skin under her hands as they found places on the keeper’s lower back and left side, Ali also brought their lips together in a slow, sensual kiss. They hadn’t planned to have sex that night but it was relatively early and it was clear that Ali was in the mood, to say the least. Ashlyn had never been one to say no to very much that her wife asked for, certainly not when it came to sexy times. Spending an hour naked in her wife’s arms would be the perfect way to get the keeper’s mind to relax and stop overthinking her shoot the next day.

“Mmmmm...take this off” Ali mumbled against her wife’s lips between kisses as she tugged at the surprisingly delicate bra still in place. 

It was one of her favorite things about Ashlyn. The duality of masculine and feminine attributes that the keeper adopted in her clothing style. The blonde had always been a mixture of both. When her hair was long and blonde and very feminine, she often wore more masculine clothes. Now that her hair was short again, in another sexy fade, she was adding more delicate pieces to her ensembles. But Ashlyn always played with both halves of her personality and always would. Her underwear was an excellent example. She had worn boxer briefs for as long as she could remember and had no plans to change that. She was more comfortable in them and it was as simple as that. When she had been a professional athlete she wore sports bras more often than not because that’s what she used for practice and games and they were what she had on hand. When she stopped needing sports bras so much, she began to go back to the more traditional bras, spicing up her collection with some sexier styles that always put a smile on her wife’s face. 

One of Ali’s favorite things to do was explore what her keeper had on underneath her suit coat and tie and she was never disappointed. Instead of full-on lingerie, Ashlyn kept things fresh with feminine, sometimes lacy, occasionally push up or underwire, always beautiful bras. Nothing too frilly though, and usually with some kind of edge to them like a skull pattern or a shark theme. Another of Ali’s favorite things was that her wife’s body was all-female once the clothes were out of the way. Ashlyn’s feminine form was often hidden beneath loose-fitting, sometimes more masculine clothing styles. But all of her womanly curves were impossible to miss when she was stripped down to her underwear like this. The brunette always giggled when she read comments about it on one of her keeper’s social media posts where she was wearing something tight or form-fitting. It was almost like it was Ali’s little secret that Ashlyn let the rest of the world have a peek at every so often. 

“You do it...” Ashlyn whispered her reply after working her lips up the brunette’s neck and nibbling on her earlobe as their hands began to travel over their bodies.

Ali’s nimble fingers unhooked the pretty orange bra behind her wife’s back while Ashlyn’s hands moved down to squeeze the brunette’s ass, still covered by thin cotton pajama pants. These pj pants were pale pink and covered in unicorns with rainbow manes. The Kriegers loved to celebrate Pride month in every way possible. Ali pulled the bra down her wife’s long arms and then gently cupped Ashlyn’s breasts, closing her eyes at the wonderful sensation coming from her ear and neck. Just as she was about to lean down and put her lips to work on her keeper’s nipple, Ali felt her wife’s whole body tense up.

“Bad cramps?” she frowned when she saw the wince on Ashlyn’s face.

“Yeah, sorry...”

“Honey...” Ali chastised gently, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her wife’s cheek. “Is this gonna help or hurt?” she asked as she pulled back to get a good look at Ashlyn’s face.

Just as Ali’s awful cramps could be alleviated by an orgasm, Ashlyn’s occasional menstrual cramps were often beaten back the same way. The keeper got extra horny right before getting her period and was usually more than ready for sex at that stage of her cycle anyway. Fighting through the PMS cramps with an orgasm was something they had done many many times over the years. But sometimes the PMS symptoms were more than Ashlyn could deal with and, even though her libido was ready for sexy times, her body just didn’t want to go through with it.

“I thought help” Ashlyn closed her eyes and clenched her jaw as she tried to take stock of her situation. She winced again and bent slightly at the waist, bringing both hands to her knees and away from her beautiful brunette’s butt. “But now...” she swallowed hard. “I’m not sure.”

Even though they hadn’t talked about it yet, Ali knew that her wife was beginning to experience her own peri-menopausal journey. Hell, the subtle changes had been happening in both of their bodies for years without them fully realizing it. Ashlyn’s PMS had gotten worse and what used to work to alleviate her discomfort didn’t always do the trick anymore – like having sex and a quick orgasm. Ali knew better than to bring it up now though. She would make sure to ask about it next time something about her own peri-menopausal experience brought the subject up again. As she stood there, gently caressing her keeper’s bare back and trying to cool her own desire down, the brunette felt goosebumps break out on Ashlyn’s back and her skin get slightly clammy. It had nothing to do with arousal.

“Ok, I’m calling it” Ali spoke decisively but her voice was still tender and full of concern.

“No” Ashlyn grabbed her wife’s hip and squeezed. “Just...gimme a minute...”

“I’ll give you all the time you want babe, but I don’t think...”

Before Ali could finish her sentence, Ashlyn’s face contorted in pain and she bent even farther over with a groan and an expletive.

“Fuck.” 

Ali helped her get changed into her sleep shorts and rainbow flag sleep t-shirt and then tucked her into bed. She made sure Ashlyn took some advil and was as comfortable as possible. After a few minutes when the cramps had dulled a bit, Ali sat in front of her ailing wife and helped her take her contacts out – holding the case in her open palm so Ashlyn could store them overnight. When the brunette finally got into bed herself an hour later, after taking care of the dogs and the rest of the checklist for putting the house to bed for the night, she thought her wife was asleep. As she whispered goodnight to her sweet and sore keeper, Ashlyn surprised her by rolling towards the middle of the bed and reaching out for her hand.

“Hi love” Ali whispered with a soft smile as she rolled to face the blonde. She closed the 1-foot distance by leaning her head in and gave Ashlyn’s forehead a tender kiss. “You ok? Do you need anything?”

“Just you” Ashlyn mumbled, eyes still closed and face still slightly pinched in pain. “Love you.”

The brunette replied as she settled back into her own pillow with a tired sigh, “I love you too.”

//

The next day was Bunker Hill Day and Ashlyn woke up feeling much better as she helped get the kids out the door for school and kissed her wife goodbye at the mudroom door.

“Have fun today babe!” Ali called out as she began backing the minivan with the twins in it down the driveway.

“I will!” the keeper waved back with a big grin on her face.

The morning went by quickly, too quickly, as it usually did when you were doing something that you truly loved. Time flew by twice as fast it seemed. Ashlyn had done all the promo shots for one of the three outfits she had brought and there were two more to go after lunch. It was incredible how much work they were getting done – Ashlyn and her MHI film crew of two, with an additional two-person glam team ready to touch up her make-up or hair at any given moment. The keeper hadn’t thought about it until she got to the downtown Boston office at 10am – after one of the easiest commutes she had ever had. There was nobody there except a few people because of the Bunker Hill holiday. The office was open but the only employees there, besides the four people helping Ashlyn with the promos, were the receptionist, two grant writers working against a deadline, and an accountant who was trying to get caught up after coming back from maternity leave. They were all getting paid time and a half for working on a holiday and enjoying the quiet that the mostly empty building offered that day. Even Taylor Gervasio, the 42-year old Managing Director of the MHI who was halfway through her 6th year in that position, had taken the day off. 

“There she is” Ashlyn beamed when she saw her beautiful brunette walk into her MHI office at 11:45am, grinning back at her. “I thought you got lost” the keeper teased, standing up and walking around her desk so she could hug her wife hello.

“It’s a big building babe” Ali chuckled as they embraced. “Just because it’s empty today doesn’t mean it’s any smaller.”

The MHI occupied 2 full floors, the 11th and 12th, in one of the biggest office buildings in Boston, near the Seaport District. The MHI space was set up like any big office space typically was with a main reception desk and area on the 11th floor, and a slew of well-appointed offices occupied by all manner of employees on the 12th floor. There was a large media center on the 11th floor where they filmed and edited and dubbed all of the promotional videos as well as the struggler and supporter testimonials. Both Taylor’s and Ashlyn’s corner offices were on the 12th floor with most of the rest of the offices. The idea was to keep the 11th floor as accessible as possible to visitors and collaborators. There was a resource library, a green space room for quiet reflection among different types of plants, a counseling office that was designed to show people what a therapist’s office might look like in an effort to ease the anxiety of people who were too afraid or uncomfortable to make their first therapy appointment on their own, a recreation room for employees as well as a kitchen to try to keep everybody happy and healthy and productive.

The MHI had grown into one of the country’s leaders in Mental Health and Ashlyn was immensely proud of all they had accomplished in their 12-year existence. The keeper loved all of the companies she had helped to establish, but the MHI was the jewel in her crown. She loved Knight-Harris, and she had dreamt about The Academy since her college days, but the idea that she had created a company that existed to help people and to make the world a healthier place in the process was something that moved Ashlyn deeply. She knew that one day when she met her Gram again, the old woman would be proudest of her for her work at the MHI. 

“Hi Ali” the make-up artist waved hello and exchanged quick pleasantries with the brunette. Whenever Ashlyn had a big event she had her glam team come and take care of both she and her wife.

“So see you back in there after lunch” Ashlyn nodded as the make-up artist paused at the door to the office.

“1:00pm touch up. 1:15pm shoot” came the reply and then she was gone, pulling the door closed behind her.

Ashlyn’s office was spacious and very nicely decorated. The keeper had given up complaining about being ostentatious years ago. Helen Siegfriedt, the first Managing Director who had been so influential in getting the MHI set up and on its feet the first 5 years, had drilled it into Ashlyn’s head that if they wanted to court top-dollar donors and board members they needed to look the part. Even though it went against so much of what the keeper believed in, and so much of her past experiences, Ashlyn ultimately trusted Helen and her faith had been rewarded. Yes, the keeper felt silly sometimes sitting in her big, fancy office with all the trappings, but she couldn’t deny the results. Ashlyn’s corner office had two walls of almost complete glass and gorgeous views of the Seaport District all around them. There was a comfortable seating area with a couch and two sleek armchairs around a coffee table; and a medium-sized rectangular, glass conference table, with 6 chairs around it, that got used for almost everything that happened in that office. There was a beautiful private bathroom with its own shower and jacuzzi tub, and a walk-in closet with several ‘emergency’ outfits that Ashlyn could change into to greet surprise guests or to conduct drop-in videos if a famous struggler decided to just stop by. A fully stocked wet bar and modest pantry closet completed the luxurious space. 

All of the furniture had a very modern feel and sometimes the blonde felt like she was filming a scene from a tv show or something. The décor had lots of steel and glass and clean, crisp lines throughout everything. Her large glass desk sat at the far corner of the room, where the two exterior glass walls met. It faced the office but Ashlyn loved to swivel her big white leather chair around and stare at the world going by around and below her. There was something really cool about being close to the modern day shipping industry. It made her think about her Grandpa John and the Gloucester Harbor that had once been so vibrant and bustling – back in Captain Leighton’s day.

“Come, sit” Ashlyn took the take-out bag from her wife after giving her a quick kiss and led them to the corner of the conference table nearest the wet bar with its refrigerator and pantry closet. “This smells sooooo good.”

The two women inhaled their burgers, splurging on calories to enjoy their rare, relaxed lunch date. Ali wasn’t going back to her K-H office afterwards, instead driving home to pick up the twins from their last Friday of school for the year. There was only one week left and the last day of school was Thursday, as usual. They didn’t talk much as they ate, their mouths too full to share much more than some basic updates. Ali wanted to know everything about how the shoot had gone so far and was having a hard time not getting worked up over how hot her keeper looked in suit #1. Suit #1 had the stealth rainbow tie and the plan had been to start with the most conservative-themed messages and get them out of the way. Then suit #2 would go next as Ashlyn delivered messages with a more widespread but still professional appeal. Finally, the third and final outfit was very casual but still stylish – a more relaxed version of Ashlyn that could communicate with kids and young people and folks who felt like they didn’t fit into a group that either one of the other messages were aimed at. 

That was truly Ashlyn’s gift. She was able to make connections, real and honest connections, with almost anybody. She was always able to find some sort of common ground. As Ali had learned early on in her relationship with the keeper, and then been able to use it to their advantage in the earliest days of Knight-Harris, Ashlyn herself was the company’s best advertisement. It had been true of K-H. It was true with the Breakers. It was true with The Academy. It was why she had such lucrative, long-term sponsorship deals with some of the biggest companies in the world like Nike, Subaru, and American Express. And it was true at the MHI. There was rarely an investor or donor who wasn’t captivated by some aspect of the charismatic blonde.

As they finished discussing the upcoming weekend’s busy schedule which included a family FaceTime for Kyle’s 51st birthday tomorrow, helping Whitney get her parents moved into their new condo in Arlington tomorrow, and then Josie’s 13th birthday party on Sunday, Ashlyn was struck by an overwhelming rush of love for her beautiful brunette. She knew she would be getting her period soon and the extra emotions were probably part of her PMS, but understanding the probable cause of the feeling didn’t diminish it in any way.

“What?” Ali tilted her head as she caught the intensity in her wife’s tawny hazel eyes. 

She knew that look though. It had given her so much strength and confidence over the years. It had stirred so many deep emotions of her own at the same time too. She loved when Ashlyn looked at her that way. She still felt her stomach flip flop sometimes when it happened.

“Nothing...” Ashlyn smiled as she got up and stood behind her wife’s chair, letting her hands rest lightly on Ali’s shoulders. “Everything...I don’t know” she sighed as her smile grew. She bent down and kissed the brunette’s cheek, nuzzling there for a few seconds. “I just love you.”

“I love you too” Ali turned her head and blinked up at the love of her life. “Especially when you’re looking like this and talking like that” she wagged her eyebrows and laughed softly, letting her own hands reach up to hold her wife’s.

“Hey, I’ve got an awesome idea” Ashlyn’s face lit up and her dimple appeared in her left cheek. She pulled her wife’s chair back away from the table and knelt between her legs, pushing them open wider as she did so.

Ali wore one of her typical workday outfits – nice dress slacks, low-heeled but stylish pumps, and a soft, pretty, floral-patterned blouse. The lightweight blazer that she always carried with her in the summer months because the men in the business world always seemed to need the temperature of every office to be a chilly 60 degrees was hanging over the chair at the other end of the table where her briefcase and purse were also sitting. 

“Hey now, easy there Allstar” Ali laughed, enjoying her playful and sweet wife but wondering exactly what she had in mind. “This is not that kind of lunch date” she quirked an eyebrow at the blonde and chuckled. “What kind of girl do you think I am, anyway?”

“First of all, you haven’t even heard my idea yet” Ashlyn returned the quirked eyebrow and squeezed the brunette’s thighs with a mischievous look in her eye.

“I don’t have to, I can see it all over your face” Ali laughed and rolled her eyes but didn’t do anything to resist.

“Look, it’s only 12:15pm” Ashlyn glanced up at the fancy clock on the wall as the rest of her plan took form. She slid her hands farther up her wife’s thighs and let her thumbs drop down to the chair beneath Ali’s legs. She slowly dragged her thumbs back up the inside of the brunette’s thighs as her eyes started to darken. “There’s nobody here but us...”

“Are you kidding me?” Ali’s eyebrows both went up high.

Ashlyn slid her hands up to the brunette’s hips, gave them a soft squeeze, and then pulled them slowly down the full length of her legs. She felt Ali’s leg twitch as she slowly massaged her calf muscles on her way back up.

“I am so not kidding you” Ashlyn smirked and lowered her head to press a slow kiss to her wife’s lower abdomen.

“Ashlyn, come on” Ali whined, her breath catching when she felt her keeper’s warm breath on her stomach, through her thin blouse. “Don’t be such a tease.”

“I’m not teasing” Ashlyn’s face was full of sincerity and more than a little lust as well. “Come on, let me make it up to you for last night. I feel good and I wanna make you feel good too...” she returned her mouth to Ali’s midsection and kissed the bare skin she had just uncovered after lifting the hem of her blouse up a couple of inches.

Ali couldn’t deny it. She had been more than ready to have sex last night and had been disappointed that they hadn’t been able to make it work. But shit happened and life went on. It wasn’t a big deal. But even as her brain blasted this line of reasoning to the rest of her body, Ali could feel her resolve melting with every second that Ashlyn’s soft lips were in contact with her body. Goddamn that felt good. In an effort to remain in control and professional, the brunette looked around the room for something that would aide her argument.

“Ash, I’d love to, but we can’t. Not here, not now...just look at all these windows...”

“I can fix that” the keeper fumbled for her phone on the table next to them, keeping one hand on her wife’s hip with her thumb caressing the bare skin there.

Ashlyn opened an app, entered a code, and pushed a button. They both watched the glass on both exterior walls darken just a bit over the course of 2 minutes.

“Did you just tint the windows?” Ali’s eyes went wide. Sometimes the old window salesperson and geek made an appearance whether she wanted her to or not. “From your phone?”

“Privacy glass” Ashlyn nodded with another smirk as she got back to work with her lips on her wife’s stomach. “It’s mostly designed for at night, when you’re working late and everything’s lit up from the inside, but it works any time of day” she explained while she slowly pulled the zipper of Ali’s pants down.

“But...”

“But nothing baby” Ashlyn moved her mouth over the freshly exposed skin and felt her wife slump in her chair just a bit. “There’s nobody here, not on either floor, nobody’s gonna interrupt us...” she moved both hands to Ali’s butt and steadily pulled her forward towards the front edge of the chair. “I’ll even lock the door...”

Ashlyn used her phone to lock the door and felt Ali’s body finally relax between her hands.

“I swear to God Ashlyn, if somebody comes in here...” the threat sounded empty as Ali’s voice lowered at the seductive kisses and touches she was receiving from her sexy keeper. The brunette lifted her hips, the official acquiescence, and let Ashlyn pull her pants and panties down to her ankles. Her brain finally caught up to her body as she spoke. “Ok, but don’t you dare tease me...”

“I would never” the keeper winked up at her beautiful wife, enjoying the lustful look in those gorgeous tiger eyes.

Ashlyn lifted one of her wife’s feet out of the clothing so she could spread her legs out wide. She kissed and nipped at the soft skin of her inner thighs, feeling giddy about what they were about to do. They had enjoyed a similar public moment at the K-H offices once, among a handful of other sexy romps after work hours in Ali’s old office there, but they had never done anything like this at the MHI. Not ever.

“What about...cameras...” Ali managed to gasp out just as her keeper dragged her strong tongue up through her slick folds. “Fuuuuuck...” the brunette moaned softly at the incredible feeling, one hand clutching Ashlyn’s shoulder while the other played with the short, sexy hair at the back of her neck.

“No cameras in the offices” Ashlyn replied quickly, knowing that the faster she put her wife’s mind at ease the faster Ali would be able to completely let go. “Promise.”

“What about...Jesus...” the brunette sucked in a breath when she felt Ashlyn focus her tongue on her clit for a few seconds before going back to her wet lips again. “What about your knee?” Ali spoke fast, before she got too lost to be able to say the words at all.

“My knee loves this” Ashlyn chuckled, her whole face about to press into the brunette’s pussy. “It never feels better than when I’m fucking you...mmmmmmm...” she replied and then moaned loudly into Ali’s core.

When Ali’s only response was a grunt, Ashlyn knew she was free to proceed without any further delay. Even though they had about 40 minutes, she wanted to give her wife a strong and fast orgasm. No teasing or games of any kind. Just a good, quick fuck.

“God...yes Ash...yes...” Ali moaned and started rocking her hips up, looking for more contact.

“You taste so fucking good” Ashlyn mumbled around her wife’s softest skin as she sucked and licked with steady purpose.

She reached up with her left hand and started to play with the brunette’s small breasts, lightly pinching the nipples until they were standing up stiff behind Ali’s blouse and bra. Ashlyn’s right hand teased her wife’s entrance and traced circles around it while she used her mouth to suck and flick her clit. 

“Mmmmm...shit...Ashlyn...” Ali gasped again as a particularly incredible sensation shot all the way to her breasts from her clit.

“Tell me what you need baby...what do you want?” the keeper’s husky voice always drove Ali wild and this quickie nooner was no exception.

“Your fingers...” the brunette’s voice was just as low and full of want as Ashlyn’s had been. “Need your fingers...inside me...”

“These fingers?” the blonde asked as she pushed her two middle fingers deep inside her wife’s greedy, pulsating center.

“Fuck!” Ali sat up for an instant, her body rigid with the strong current of desire running through it. “Yes!” she gasped out when she felt Ashlyn start pumping her fingers in and out, nice and deep, building speed slowly but steadily. “Love your...unnnhhh...fucking...fingers...”

It didn’t take long after that. Ashlyn kept up her pace pumping her fingers inside the brunette’s eager pussy. She alternated breasts with her left hand until Ali used one of her own hands to take care of the idle nipple. The keeper flicked her tongue back and forth across her wife’s swollen clit as fast as she possibly could, driving the brunette wild and bringing her right to the brink of her release. At the last minute, Ashlyn replaced her tongue with her left hand, rubbing Ali’s clit hard and fast just the way she knew she liked it. She leaned over and took a soft bite out of the brunette’s inner thigh, down by her knee, and watched with pride and pleasure as Ali came apart in front of her.

“Oh my God...yesssss!!!” the brunette hissed as her body jerked around and shook through the orgasm. One leg kicked out hard as it so often did when Ali came.

Ashlyn buried her head in her wife’s stomach and held her close, keeping her fingers inside as they both rode out Ali’s high. The keeper loved the strong scent of her wife in her nose and all of her juices that were covering her chin and face. She could hear the brunette’s heart beating wildly and the soft, contented moans that were coming from her mouth as she started to come back down. After a minute, Ashlyn slipped her fingers out and licked them clean, enjoying the dark eyes that watched her hungrily. She used her tongue and lips to clean Ali up, careful not to go near her still sensitive bundle of nerves yet.

“Holy fuck...” Ali chuckled, low in her throat. “This was not how I was expecting lunch to go today.”

“Mmmmm...me either” Ashlyn moaned, her face still between her wife’s quivering legs. “Best lunch date ever though” she wagged her eyebrows as she met her wife’s blissed-out gaze.

Ali glanced up at the clock again. 12:35pm. Still time for her turn, but no time to waste. She sat up, separating her satisfied pussy from her wife’s mouth.

“Thank you baby, that was so good” she leaned down and gave Ashlyn’s lips a meaningful kiss. “Mmmmm, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, beautiful” Ashlyn’s flushed cheeks broke out into a big grin. “Jesus, you’re gorgeous” she dropped her eyes down to Ali’s exposed, pink pussy and felt her heart flutter in her own chest.

“So are you” Ali countered with a sultry look. “You have way too many clothes on though, let’s get a move on there, Sugar.” The brunette sorted out her own pants and pulled them up after standing and stepping into them while Ashlyn watched her closely. “Seriously, let’s go” Ali encouraged, her eyebrows up near her hairline and a big smile still on her face. She stepped away from the chair so her wife could sit down, but Ashlyn didn’t move. “What are you waiting for?” Ali shook her head, confused.

“I didn’t do this for me” the keeper explained as she stood and stepped to her beautiful brunette, wrapping her arms around Ali’s waist and pulling their bodies together.

Ali leaned into the embrace and then pulled back to study her wife’s face while the blonde held their hips together and grinned.

“If you think you can just waltz over here, looking like that” the brunette raked her eyes up and down her wife’s body, “making me feel...like that” she dropped her voice lower again and closed her eyes thinking about the orgasm she had just enjoyed, “and then just waltz right away again without me getting my hands on you...”

“Honey” Ashlyn interrupted with a laugh. “I just wanted to thank you for being so good to me last night. I don’t expect anything in return.”

“Well, if you’re trying to do something nice for me, you’ll let me have my turn” Ali smirked and let her hands find the keeper’s ass. She squeezed and gave Ashlyn a slow kiss. She felt the blonde relax into it and was excited that she had gotten her way, until she pulled back suddenly when a new thought occurred to her. “Unless you’re not feeling good” the brunette loosened her hold on her wife, trying to ease any discomfort she might still be feeling from the night before. The keeper hadn’t complained that morning of any lingering PMS symptoms, but the morning chaos didn’t really allow for a lot of discussion. “Are you doing ok babe? I’m sorry I didn’t even think of it until now.”

“No, I’m fine” Ashlyn smiled and tried to kiss her wife again but Ali pulled back, suspicious. “I swear” the keeper affirmed. “Still a little bloated but nothing unusual” she shrugged. When the brunette frowned at her Ashlyn sighed and gave her a quick kiss. “Why would I lie?”

“I have no idea” Ali squinted at her but couldn’t keep the smile from her face. 

Truthfully, Ashlyn looked great and had acted like she was feeling fine. It was just unusual for her not to want her own orgasm while they were having sex. They stared at each other for almost a full minute before the keeper caved, shaking her head as she spoke through an exasperated sigh.

“Ok, fine. I didn’t think we’d have a lot of time so I prepared myself to take care of you and be good with that.”

Ali pursed her lips as she studied her wife’s pretty face.

“Try again.”

Ashlyn laughed and rolled her eyes as they still held onto each other in their loose hug.

“Man, now I know how our kids feel when they’re trying to get away with something on you. They don’t stand a chance. You’re too good Krieger. What, are you part bloodhound or something?”

“Something like that” the brunette giggled but only for a few seconds. She looked pensively at her keeper. “Tell me why you don’t want me to touch you.”

There was some worry in her cinnamon eyes but what bothered Ashlyn the most was the hurt she saw there too.

“No, it’s not that I don’t want you to touch me. Geez, why would you even think that?”

“I told you to take your clothes off and you’re still standing here, not even close to naked...” Ali dropped her eyes self-consciously.

“Ok, listen, it’s nothing. It’s stupid.” There was a pause and Ashlyn looked down too, embarrassed.

“So then tell me” Ali coaxed, placing a tender kiss on her wife’s lips. She waited another minute. “You’re starting to freak me out now, so just tell me.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and swallowed before meeting her wife’s eyes a few seconds later.

“I don’t know” she shrugged self-consciously. “I just don’t feel very...sexy right now. That’s all.”

Ali’s mind sped up as she tried to figure out what was going on. She could count on one hand the number of times Ashlyn had been shy about anything having to do with sex in their life together. The brunette’s brain lurched back to harder times, back when she and Ashlyn had felt disconnected more than ever before...the year they fought more often than not, after... Emily Quindlen. Something about this reminded her of those awkward, exhausting times. The lack of trust. Why didn’t Ashlyn trust her enough to tell her what was really going on? Her face must have changed markedly because the keeper spoke quickly when her wife didn’t respond with words of her own.

“It’s nothing bad. There’s nothing wrong. You’re still hot as hell and I still love having sex with you...but...” the keeper rattled off as fast as her lips would move. Her eyes were wide as she tried to make the distraught look on Ali’s face go away.

“But what?” the brunette’s voice was small and fearful and it broke Ashlyn’s heart.

“But nothing” she shook her head, frustrated with herself for making this into something it really wasn’t. “I’m an idiot, that’s what.”

“What are you talking about?” annoyance flared in the whiskey-colored eyes for the first time.

“Ugh, ok, but I’m telling you it’s dumb and now you’re gonna be mad at me for making this into a thing...”

“Ashlyn...” Ali’s voice was more pleading than scolding.

“I’m about to get my period, ok?”

“Yeah, I got that from the PMS stuff last night” Ali tried to understand. “You feel a little bloated still, right?”

“Yeah, but...I just don’t feel sexy right now.”

“I hear what you’re saying Ash, but I’ve gotta tell ya, I’m not buying it” Ali spoke carefully, not wanting to disregard what her wife was telling but trying to get to the real issue that she didn’t think had been brought out yet. She had seen the want in Ashlyn’s eyes while she had been eating her out. “There’s no way you did that to me and didn’t get turned on” she shook her head and brought her hand up to caress Ashlyn’s cheek with the back of her fingers. “I could see it in your face” she couldn’t help but smirk a tiny bit at the image in her head of Ashlyn’s passionate face with her dark, hooded eyes. “I know that look babe.”

Ashlyn frowned and shook her head and Ali thought she had made a mistake by pushing her to say more. Just when the brunette was about to apologize and backtrack, the keeper chuckled quietly and blushed.

“Yeah, you do” she admitted with a slow grin. “Seriously, our kids are screwed” they both laughed.

“Please tell me what I’m missing. You’re killing me here” the brunette sighed with a slightly frustrated smile.

“I don’t think I look sexy enough, ok? There. I said it” Ashlyn blurted the words out, blushing even more, and then tried to step back but Ali wouldn’t let her go.

“You have GOT to be kidding me” the brunette’s jaw dropped. “If you’re not feeling sexy that’s one thing. If you think you don’t look sexy then I will tell you with absolute certainty that you are as wrong as you’ve ever been about anything in your entire life.”

“Al, come on. Don’t just say that” she ducked her head sheepishly.

“I’m not honey. I swear to God. You look sexy as hell. Do you think I’d drop my pants at your office, in the middle of the day, for just anybody? Hell no I wouldn’t. Not even for my wife. But...” she paused playfully and was happy to see the beginnings of a small smile on the blonde’s face. “For my sexy as fuck wife? Hell yes. My pants drop at the sound of your sexy ass voice half the time, are you kidding me with this?”

They giggled and hugged and kissed for a couple of minutes but Ali was careful not to push too hard.

“So what’s making you think you don’t look sexy? You turned me into a puddle like always, doesn’t that prove something to you?”

“I did do that, didn’t I?” Ashlyn’s smile grew.

“You sure as hell did” Ali gave her another sweet kiss. “Is it because you feel bloated? Because you definitely don’t look bloated...”

“Yeah, that’s part of it” Ashlyn admitted softly. “And, I don’t know...I have a panty liner in and that’s never sexy for anyone to see when you’re trying to get busy...”

“Ashlyn” Ali tilted her head and blinked up at her wife through her lashes. Her voice was loving and kind as she held them together in their hug. “I’m not making fun of you, because you feel what you feel and that’s ok. But do you seriously think I care that you have a panty liner in your underwear right now?”

“See, I told you it was stupid...” the keeper blushed and rolled her eyes again.

“This one is a little silly, I have to say” Ali quirked her eyebrow at the blonde as they leaned back again. “After everything you’ve done for me when I’ve had my period? Now you’re gonna be shy about a panty liner?” both eyebrows were up high. “Really?”

“Well when you put it that way, ok yeah, this is really stupid” Ashlyn closed her eyes and slumped her shoulders as an embarrassed sigh left her body. “I’m sorry. Can we just forget I said anything? Please?” she begged as she opened her eyes again and made a plaintive, adorable face.

Ali, as usual, was unable to resist her beautiful wife. The grin on the brunette’s face grew wider and Ashlyn knew she had been forgiven before Ali had even said a word. The grin turned into a playful smirk as the brunette’s hands moved down the keeper’s back towards her ass in those sexy, tailored suit pants.

“I guess, but it’s gonna cost you” Ali felt the mood start to shift back to where it had been after her orgasm 10 minutes earlier. She also felt her wife pressing their hips together as she squeezed Ashlyn’s ass through her pants. “You’re gonna have to pay...”

“Oh yeah?” the blonde sensed the change too and jumped at the chance to continue what she had started with her wife. Panty liner or not. Ali had assured her that it didn’t matter to her in the least. “What are we talking about exactly?” 

She regretted her temporary drop in self-confidence but felt the unique sense of safety and acceptance and love that could only come after so many years of marriage. It was one of the less obvious benefits of a long-term, healthy relationship that the keeper had never anticipated. Everybody always talked about how hard it was to maintain a healthy marriage – and it did take a lot of work, Ashlyn knew that for a fact. But she couldn’t remember anybody ever talking about how wonderful it felt to experience the deep respect and unshakeable trust you cultivated together over the years. It happened in moments like this one, and a hundred others like it during the year. Moments where you shared something intimate and private and uncomfortable with your wife and then relied on her to meet you there, at that insecure place, and help you move through it. Some were big moments where you needed your wife to push you or pull you along. You relied on her strength and faith to get you through. While other moments were much smaller and more common where you just needed her to walk along beside you and keep you pointed in the right direction. 

Ashlyn had started this whole, thrilling sexy times dalliance to thank her beautiful brunette for being sweet and kind to her the night before. The keeper’s bravado had disappeared as soon as Ali was ready to return the favor and Ashlyn had tumbled down into that insecure place for what seemed like such a trivial reason. But that was the key to what made their relationship work so well – they never judged each other too harshly. They both went out of their way, still, after all those years, to accept whatever the other person was experiencing at face value. Ali never told her keeper that her shy feeling that morning wasn’t ok. She never dismissed it or discredited it. She was honest and told Ashlyn that it was silly but that was more of a comment about the size and scale of it compared to other times they had been intimate around their menstrual cycles. And the desire in the brunette’s eyes told Ashlyn exactly how sexy Ali thought the blonde was, panty-liner or not. 

Ashlyn’s hands began roaming the brunette’s warm body, finding soft, bare skin where her blouse was still tucked up under her bra. She ghosted a touch at Ali’s lower back, fingers slipping inside the waistband of her pants that she had just put back on. The keeper brought their lips together in a soft, slow kiss that Ali deepened after first enjoying the tenderness for several seconds. 

“Well...” the brunette answered breathily as they pulled apart for air after the steamy make-out session, “I think I should get to make you come at least twice, maybe three times...”

“Three times?!” Ashlyn laughed and then moaned when she felt one of her wife’s hands slide down her ass so her fingertips were applying soft but steady pressure to her crotch from behind. 

“Yeah, that’ll teach you” Ali teased, her voice husky as she was more than ready to finally take her turn.

“Damn baby...” the keeper panted as excitement sped through her entire body. “Let’s...let’s just get me one orgasm and see how it goes” she nodded up at the clock on the office wall, reminding them both that they wouldn’t have the luxury of time and privacy for much longer. “But I love the way you’re thinking” she chuckled before Ali captured her lips again.

“So take your damned pants off.”


	3. Four Birthdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many PK shootouts in the Challenge Cup Quarterfinals! Wow.  
> Here's the regularly scheduled chapter for this weekend. Sorry again about Chapter 2 being late.

The birthday gauntlet for the Krieger kids in May and June went as smoothly as it ever did – which was mezza mezza. There were high points and low points, big wins and humbling challenges, before all four birthdays had been celebrated. The twins came first, as always, on May 13th. The new 11-year olds had some tough decisions to make. They wanted their own parties with their own friends and activities, but neither Dodge nor Lily was willing to have their party on Sunday the 14th. They both wanted to have it on their actual birthday, Saturday the 13th. That meant they had to decide who was having their party in the afternoon and who was having their party in the evening. It was also Mother’s Day weekend so a lot of restaurants were busy with reservations, especially for brunch. Just another challenge to add to the scheduling exercise.

After much agonizing negotiation between mothers and twins, the final solution to the May 13th, 2034 birthday celebration was agreed upon. And at the end of all the hand wringing and gnashing of teeth involved, Dodge and Lily ended up wanting to participate in each other’s party after all. Of course they did. At 12pm on Saturday, Ashlyn and Ali drove Lily and 7 of her friends up to Sweet Paws Rescue in Groveland, MA 40 minutes Northwest of Gloucester. The girls were going to volunteer with some of the dogs in the shelter and reintegration facility there and Dodge and his best friend Mikey joined them. Sweet Paws was where Fred and Persey had come from, as well as Sydney’s dog Boss, and the current pets Frankie and Sadie, sister puppies adopted impulsively by Ashlyn and Vicki Krieger a couple of years previously.

Ashlyn was surprised by how many of the girls wanted to participate. She and Ali had to make sure to explain to all of their parents that it was an actual 3-hour volunteer shift and that the girls would be working with rescued dogs. There were waivers to sign and basic training to go through when they first arrived at the facility and none of the parents objected. Several of them came along to help or at least chaperone. As had always been the case, Sweet Paws was extremely well run and organized. They were receptive to the idea when Ali had proposed it a few weeks earlier, although they had some reservations about the size of the group. 10 kids was a lot for their facility to handle all at once. But they made arrangements for as many healthy, well-adjusted rescue dogs to move into one of the outdoor paddocks for those hours. Instead of doing a lot of the more challenging work of a regular volunteer – the dirty work that involved bathing the dogs and cleaning out their crates and basic hygienic chores, the birthday party volunteers took charge of exercising and socializing the dogs that afternoon. Ali and Ashlyn made sure all 10 kids got their hands dirty with those less-appealing chores too though. They did it in shifts because of the close quarters inside the facility. There was no way either mom was going to let any of the kids think the shelter was just a place to go and play with cute dogs.

“It’s gonna be a mess Al, that’s all I’m saying” Ashlyn had warned her wife two weeks before, once the kids had finally made up their minds. “Lily will be in tears when it’s time to go...”

“I know honey, and she knows too” Ali replied as the two moms worked together to clean out the garage the last Sunday afternoon in April. They were trying to make room for Dodge’s birthday present – his full drum kit. “But she really wants to do it. I think it’s important to let her do this.”

The brunette knew that her tenderhearted daughter wasn’t the only one who was going to be in tears before the end of the volunteer shift at Sweet Paws. Ashlyn would be right there with her, every teardrop of the way.

“You’re right” the keeper sighed and groaned at the prospect of playing with 10 or more puppies and dogs for 3 hours and then having to walk away from them forever. “I know it’s something she needs to learn, but you know she’s gonna wanna bring them all home. You know that, right?”

“I do know that and that’s partly why we’re doing this with her babe. Remember?”

Before the moms had even allowed Lily to consider the birthday event, they had talked about it long and hard together. They weighed the significant pros and cons and decided it would be a valuable lesson for her to learn. Sometimes volunteering was hard. Sometimes it hurt instead of making you feel good. But the point of volunteering should never be to make you feel good. It should always be about the dogs, in this case, you were trying to help. Both Ashlyn and Ali knew Lily loved animals, and especially dogs. They knew that she had a soft heart and often tried to do nice things for any animal she encountered. The two moms had always tried to be supportive of their daughter’s desire to help. But they felt it was time to make sure Lily understood what was truly involved in it.

“I could kill Tahlia” Ashlyn shook her head and chuckled as she got back to work clearing out some of the accumulated clutter in the main part of the garage.

“Yeah, me too” Ali agreed with a soft laugh. She knew it wouldn’t be easy to navigate their way through the birthday volunteering scenario. Lily’s best friend had been the one who suggested it in the first place after seeing something posted online about volunteering at a dog shelter in town. The two girls had extrapolated the concept into its present form. “It really is a sweet idea though. Leave it to the only kid in school who’s softer than our Lily.”

As expected, the most difficult part of all came at the end of the shift when it was time to leave. Every single kid, even Dodge and Mikey, had fallen in love with a puppy or dog there and was having a hard time saying goodbye. Even some of the other parents were teary-eyed as they hugged their heartbroken kids. Lily had been surprisingly strong through most of it. One of the Sweet Paws employees had nicely explained that they could always come back and volunteer again and that idea had formed a protective seal around the little blonde’s heart. Ali had consoled both Lily and Ashlyn as their time at Sweet Paws drew to a close. She knew how much they both felt about what they were doing and she was proud of both of them for somehow managing to keep it together as they left.

The party ended at a nearby family restaurant where everybody had a quick dinner. There wasn’t too much time to dawdle because they had to get on the road for Dodge’s evening birthday party plans by 5:00pm. Ken and Vicki brought the birthday cake and everyone enjoyed cake and ice cream while Lily held court with an enormous, satisfied smile on her face. Ali and Ashlyn had their answer – their girl was soft-hearted but she wasn’t fragile. She had shown both of them that afternoon that there was a lot of Krieger and Harris toughness inside her too.

The Kriegers hadn’t been back to Fenway Park since the terrifying Patriots Day incident with Cassius Dwyer and the drunk, racist fan. There weren’t any plans to go back anytime soon either, which said a lot considering what a huge baseball fan Drew was. That is until Dodge decided that what he wanted more than anything for his 11th birthday was to go to a Red Sox game with some of his friends. Ali wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it. She honestly didn’t know if she could sit there without freaking out about what had happened 13 months previously. But, as Sydney gently reminded her, if Ashlyn could gut it out through volunteering at Sweet Paws for Lily, Ali could suck it up through a Red Sox game for Dodge. It was a fair comparison of the heartache each mom would feel on May 13th. Sydney also knew that, without actually saying the words, Ali was asking her for permission to go back to Fenway Park. The coach had given her best friend her blessing and was happy that it was sincere. Sydney and Dom had many mixed feelings about Fenway Park and the Boston Red Sox and probably always would. But there was no way Sydney wanted her best friend to deny her son something that should have been as simple and pure as an early-season Red Sox game. 

The birthday group changed its members back in Gloucester and set out again for phase 2 of the big day. This time Dodge and 3 friends, along with Lily and Tahlia, joined Ashlyn and Ali for the hour-long ride into Boston for the 7:05pm Red Sox game. The only bratty moment was when Lily had a minor fit about not being able to bring her new camera to the game. She had taken an interest, more than the other kids by a longshot, in photography and the two moms had enlisted Uncle Kyle’s assistance to buy her a good starter camera for someone serious about taking pictures. Dodge had been allowed to invite 7 friends, just like Lily had been, but the evening game and the logistics and timing of it didn’t work out well for many of his good buddies from school. Mother’s Day weekend plans cut down the party-goer list substantially. A lot of younger families went away for the weekend to visit grandmothers, for example. The upside to the smaller group of 11-year olds was that Ali and Ashlyn felt like they could handle it on their own, without calling in extra help from another parent or family member. Another benefit was that with the smaller group the two moms were able to splurge a bit and get seats on top of the Green Monster which were too expensive for a really big group.

Fenway Park’s Green Monster was the iconic name for the enormous wall in left field. It was just over 37’ high, and only 310’ away from home plate. It was the highest wall of any ballpark, MLB or minors – except for one minor league ballpark in Pennsylvania that was 6” taller - and it had been built back in 1912 with the rest of the original facility. The Green Monster could be your best friend if you hit a high but not so deep long ball – easy homeruns. Or it could be your worst enemy – robbing you of line-drive homers that would clear almost any other left field wall in the majors. And for the left fielders who roamed around out there, it was just as challenging. The best Red Sox players learned how to gauge where the ball would carom off the Green Monster and put themselves into position so they could cleanly field it and then turn and rifle a throw to second base, denying the hit that would have been a double in any other ballpark in the league. But visiting players or younger players who didn’t have as much experience ‘playing the monster’ often looked foolish as they scrambled around trying to chase the ball down after it hit the imposing wall. Fenway Park, largely because of the Green Monster effect, gave up more doubles than almost any other ballpark. The ‘wallball double’ was a frequent call from the play-by-play announcers. 

Another great feature of the Green Monster was the giant, manual scoreboard that had been used continuously since its installation back in 1914. It moved to the final ground level location in 1934 and hasn’t moved since. If you went for a tour of Fenway Park you could go inside the wall and see how the scoreboard operators did what they did back there. There were many stories, some quite disgusting, about what some players ducked inside the wall to do during games over the decades.

The best thing to happen to the Green Monster in ages was the addition of seating for 274 fans on top of it. Back in 2003 the ‘Monster Seats’ were officially unveiled and became the most popular seats in the park for a while. They were always expensive and not everybody loved them because unless you were in the front row of monster seats you couldn’t see much of left field or center field. It wasn’t ideal but the novelty remained, even 31 years later. The Krieger group, with a little help from Knight-Harris connections, secured 8 front row Green Monster seats for the game against the Baltimore Orioles and Dodge was ecstatic.

“This is soooo cool!” he enthused from his seat in the middle of the 8 seats. He nudged Mikey next to him and pointed to the Boston skyline. “Look, you can see...everything!”

He was loud enough for both his mothers to hear from their seats, one on either end of the group – gatekeeper style. Ali and Ashlyn grinned at each other, knowing they had hit this birthday party out of the park. To be fair, Dodge was about as easy to please as a kid could be, but the moms took the win anyway and patted themselves on the back.

The game was fun and competitive and, thanks to rule changes instituted a decade ago, it only lasted 2-1/2 hours. Gone were the days of regulation 9-inning games stretching to 3 or 3-1/2 hours long. Thank God. All bets were off if the teams were tied and had to play extra innings – but that was always exciting and nobody minded staying longer. The Fenway Park concierge team was there to help the group celebrate Dodge’s birthday as part of their group sales plan. You could buy a ‘birthday package’ if you wanted to and get some special service and support during the game. Ashlyn had originally thought it was too much and unnecessary, but she was glad her wife had insisted. When the mid-May night turned cold at 8:45pm, the concierge birthday team brought lap blankets to the group to keep them from shivering for the last 3 innings of the game. They also got to enjoy birthday cupcakes decorated in Red Sox colors and free soda all game long. Normally the moms limited soda intake but they let the rules bend that night, hoping to keep everybody awake until they could get into the minivan at 10pm for the drive back home. It was 11pm by the time they started dropping sleeping 11-year olds off at their own homes, grateful that the parents had trusted them enough with their kids in the first place. The parents were all just as grateful that their trust had been rewarded. The kids were exhausted but they had enjoyed themselves tremendously. And the Red Sox won the game too! That was never a guarantee and could be a real downer to young fans who had been looking forward to seeing the game in person.

“You doing ok baby?” Ashlyn leaned over and kissed her wife’s cheek as they got into their own bed, just after midnight. “We can talk about it, if you want.”

“I’m ok” Ali nodded and gave her keeper a tired but genuine smile in return. “It was a fun night.”

Ashlyn let another minute go by as they got settled into bed and ready for sleep. She knew they would both be out like a light in a manner of seconds, but she wanted to be sure Ali knew she could talk to her about her first trip back to Fenway Park.

“I’m here honey, whatever you need” the keeper smiled softly and then yawned. “Sorry. I know we’re both tired, but...”

“I’m ok, promise” Ali said, touched by her wife’s concern, as always. “It was weird at first but it got easier” she shrugged and rolled onto her side, backing up towards the middle of the bed and reaching back to tug Ashlyn’s hand her way.

“Even in the concourse, when we were doing the bathroom run?” the blonde followed her wife’s lead and took the big spoon position with a satisfied hum. “Mmmmm...you feel good.”

Ali took a big breath and exhaled slowly, centering herself and loving the feel of her wife behind her, all around her. Nothing felt safer than that.

“That was the hardest” she turned her head so Ashlyn could hear her better. “Not gonna lie. But...I guess it’s like everything else. Something scary happened there that I still think about a lot. But I can’t let that one day, hell, that one half hour, destroy someplace and something I love. A place and a thing our kids love. You know?”

“I do know. And I love you so much for being so strong” Ashlyn pressed a kiss into Ali’s cheek. “And so smart” another kiss into her neck. “And so snuggly” a squeeze and a tired giggle from both women.

“How about you?” Ali lifted her wife’s hand up to her mouth and pressed a warm kiss into it, holding it there for several seconds before continuing. “Today was tough for you too, at Sweet Paws, but you did great. You ok too?”

“Ugh, that sucked” the keeper groaned and then sighed. “I just...it’s hard to feel so much sometimes. My heart broke for every dog there, for the stories about where they were rescued from” she started to get choked up as she spoke. “And I know they’re so much better off now, at Sweet Paws, than they were before but...”

“I know honey, I know” Ali turned her head when Ashlyn’s voice broke. “You did so good though. And so did Lil” she gave the keeper’s hand another kiss and reached back to hug her as best she could from the little spoon spot. “That’s because of you. You’ve showed her, you’ve showed all the kids, how to be brave even when your heart hurts. And you did it again today.”

“Yeah, I guess” Ashlyn sniffled and took a couple of deep breaths while she collected herself. “Just like you focusing on the good stuff about Fenway and being positive...I tried to think about the good future those dogs are gonna have now that they’ve been rescued.”

“That’s right babe, that’s right.”

“It made it a lot easier. Cuz otherwise...”

“I know” Ali chuckled and patted her wife’s thigh behind her own. “We’d have come home with 10 more dogs.”

“At least 10” the keeper giggled and then sighed again.

“Hey” Ali’s voice sounded more alert for a minute and got the blonde’s attention. “Happy Mother’s Day sweetheart.”

“Aw, Happy Mother’s Day honey.”

“I think we did some good parenting today, how about you?” Ali asked with a smile and a yawn.

“The best. The absolute best” Ashlyn chuckled. “Even Drew and Josie were alive and in bed when we got home tonight. Grand slam for us.”

“Helluva way to kick off Mother’s Day, I’d say.”

//

Drew continued to be the easiest of the bunch to satisfy come birthday time. As he got older he preferred gift cards or cash to actual presents, and he chose to go hang out with his friends rather than spend a whole day with his family while they celebrated him. Teenager stuff. May 27th was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend this year and the newly 15-year old, who was a month away from completing his freshman year of high school, spent most of the day in and around ‘Machado’s Pizzeria’. Ethan Machado’s grandparents had owned and operated the pizza place for almost 30 years and both Drew and Ethan had spent hundreds of hours there over the past 10 years of their friendship. Ethan’s dad Sam was a trained chef who had moved home to Gloucester after Ethan’s mom passed away from cancer when Ethan was 3. Another reason Sam moved home again was to help his parents out with the pizzeria. 

Drew loved hanging out with Ethan and Sam a lot, whether it was at their house or at the restaurant. Sam had been teaching both boys how to cook different things over the years and was a big reason why Drew was strongly considering the culinary arts as a career. Both Ethan and Drew helped out at the restaurant and this summer would be the first time a Krieger kid had a paying job. Sam had taken over the restaurant officially when his dad got sick a couple of years earlier. The elder Mr. Machado had serious heart problems and Mrs. Machado, or Nana as both boys called her, spent most of her time taking care of him, leaving the pizzeria and family business to Sam to manage and grow. It had been just this past winter when both of Ethan’s grandparents passed away. His grandfather died first from heart failure and then his Nana followed only two months later in March. The official cause of death had been a heart attack but it was the type of romantic scenario you often heard about when an old couple in their 90s who had been together for almost 70 years passed away within weeks of each other. The romanticized version of the story supposed that Nana simply couldn’t go on living without her beloved husband. It was impossible to know if her broken and grieving heart could cause an actual heart attack, but it wasn’t hard to believe. 

The relationship between the Machados and the Kriegers had continued to be pleasant but nothing more. Most of the kids had forgotten the brief time when Sam had been a bigger part of their lives, but not Drew. Drew remembered it vividly, if not accurately. He had only been 5 years old when Sam made the inappropriate advances on Ali and ruined the burgeoning friendships among the adults. It had taken a few years but Ashlyn and Ali, and Sam and his new wife Lisa had all found a way to put the past behind them. They didn’t avoid each other anymore or have to tamp down anger or hurt feelings when they did see each other. They co-existed peacefully at all of the school and sports activities the two boys and still best friends participated in. The two couples just weren’t friends anymore. The wound had healed and the scab would stay in place as long as nobody picked at it.

Another advantage to hanging out at the pizzeria, besides free food, was that it was located on Rogers Street, right across the street from the skateboard park, properly named the Captain Solomon Jacobs Park, on the main drag in downtown Gloucester. The section of waterfront along Gloucester’s Inner Harbor was commonly referred to as The Loop and it had been a popular gathering place for kids for as long as anyone could remember. At the waterside edge of the skate park was the actual dock area that the city had built its shipping industry from. Now it was mostly charter boat rentals, whale watch tours, and fishing company warehouses. The Harbormaster’s office was there, as well as a couple of small whaling and maritime museums and gift shops. At the very edge of the water was the US Coast Guard station that was as active as ever as the Guardsmen and women kept watch over the waters and the citizens and tourists who enjoyed them.

Middle school kids on bikes and older teenagers in cars all frequented The Loop in one way or another whether they stopped to enjoy the playground or skateboard in the park, or whether they just cruised around the perimeter laughing and joking with their friends. Just a few blocks to the West, the more picturesque waterfront area was a big tourist attraction with its beautiful views of Gloucester Harbor, the Ten Pound Island Lighthouse, and the Atlantic Ocean beyond. The iconic Gloucester Fisherman memorial statue as well as the Fisherman’s Wives statue were both located in different spots there, and the area was always busy and full of people and activity. The bad thing about that, when you thought about your kids on their bikes, was that it was a busy road full of cars and delivery trucks and tourists who didn’t really know where they were going all the time. The good thing about it was that there were always people around to help the kids out if a troubling situation ever arose. 

The four-block area of small, family-owned businesses – like Machado’s Pizzeria – watched over everything at the Loop and reported anything they felt necessary to the appropriate parents with great speed. It was like an old-fashioned game of telephone tag where a statement of fact got diluted and altered almost beyond recognition by the time it reached its final destination. It didn’t really matter to the Gloucester parents if the facts were all accurate or not, as long as they got the heads up that they needed to investigate in the first place. And the busy road there wasn’t too bad because the speed limit was never more than 20mph and the local police were always in the vicinity of the popular spot. All in all, Ashlyn and Ali were very grateful that their kids would feel comfortable and be welcomed as almost family at the pizzeria. Those frightening teenager years where the kids tested their own boundaries and the limits of their parents’ patience seemed a little less scary knowing The Loop was so public and accessible. 

“Well you’re spending part of your birthday with your family. I don’t care how old you are” Ashlyn countered hotly, having trouble keeping her temper in check.

“But...” Drew started to repeat his request to spend the entirety of his 15th birthday with his friends and his girlfriend, none of it at the big old house.

The debate was taking place in Drew’s bedroom, the weekend before his birthday, and the night before Meg’s college graduation ceremony. It was a tough time for mothers’ hearts all the way around. Ashlyn was pacing from the door to the shared boys’ bathroom and back to the bedroom door to the hallway the whole time they talked while Drew lay on his bed tossing a baseball up in the air above his head and catching it in his glove. As she sat on the extra twin bed on the front wall of the bedroom watching both activities, Ali could tell her wife was getting upset and tried to intervene before their son made it worse.

“First of all, we’re still the parents and you’re still our child so what we decide is what’s going to happen” she quirked her eyebrow sharply at Drew. “But...” she continued quickly, pausing just briefly to give the teenager a little nod to let him know she was willing to be flexible, “I’m sure we can come up with a good compromise.”

Both Ashlyn and Drew stopped what they were doing and looked at her as if she had handed them over to the enemy.

“Oh, come on” she gave them both an exasperated look with her palms in the air. “You seriously think it’s ok to not spend any part of your birthday with us?” she cocked her head at her son who sighed heavily and started tossing the baseball again.

“No” he sulked and sighed again.

Ali saw her keeper open her mouth to say something but she shot her a hard look that told Ashlyn to just keep quiet.

“Ok then, good” Ali nodded. “Thank you for being reasonable.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and let it out before taking her turn, and her wife’s cue.

“And we don’t expect you to spend all of your birthday with us” she managed to get out evenly, in spite of still being hurt and angry at Drew’s overall attitude.

“See?” Ali smiled at both of them. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

It took several more minutes to hash out the details and neither mom was willing to commit to the final arrangement until they’d had some time to discuss it privately. But at the end of Meg’s busy graduation day, and in large part because of his good behavior during that long day, Ali and Ashlyn gave Drew the good news. They were standing in the kitchen after the other kids had gone up to bed.

“So, all I have to do is birthday dinner with you guys?” he clarified, eyes wide and hopes high that he hadn’t misunderstood something.

Ashlyn began counting to 10 in her head to keep from lashing out at the insensitive words that she knew hadn’t been meant to hurt their feelings. But they still stung. Ali also took a deep breath and bit her tongue before replying.

“Yeah, the only awful thing you have to do with your horrible family is your birthday dinner” she shook her head and rolled her eyes, trying to stay calm.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that...” he tried to backtrack, realizing from his mother’s tone that he had been a jerk without meaning to.

“We know” Ashlyn gave him a small smile, appreciating the fact that he tried to make it better. “You can go to the skate park for the competition with your friends...”

“All day?” he asked, still not believing they had agreed to everything he had asked for, except the dinner.

The grand plan was to meet his buddies at the skate park for the start of the competition at 10am. Then they would watch until they got bored before wandering around the Loop and seeing who else was around. They would eat lunch and hang out at the pizzeria for a while and then go back to the competition. If it got really boring they would ride their bikes through the waterfront and down to Fort Stage Park for a change of scenery. Then, after dinner, they were going to the arcade and the movies – or maybe the movies and then the arcade. That was still up in the air.

“Yes. All day” Ali nodded and smiled too. “But you have to be smart” she cautioned. “You’ve gotta eat lunch and drink water...”

“I know mom” he chuckled and then rolled his eyes with a grin. “I’m not a baby. I can take care of myself.”

“We know you can bud” Ashlyn pulled him into a quick hug, unable to resist another minute. “But we’re your moms and we’re always gonna remind you of stuff like that. That’s just how it goes.”

“Where are we having dinner? Here?” he pulled back but didn’t move very far away.

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged quick grins which made Drew nervous. Sometimes that was a good thing and sometimes it was a bad thing and it was impossible to know which was which until you heard what came out of the moms’ mouths next.

“We thought we’d go to the Tavern on the Harbor, if you’d like that” Ali proposed one of Drew’s favorite restaurants. It was also right down at the end of the waterfront so it would be easy for him to get back to his friends afterwards.

“And then walk over to get ice cream for dessert” Ashlyn added hopefully.

It was something they had done as a family for almost 15 summers, which is why it was one of Drew’s favorite restaurants. The Kriegers would eat at the harborside restaurant, out on the deck if possible, and then walk across the street to Harbor’s Point Ice Cream. The kids were always allowed to get whatever they wanted, as long as they had behaved during dinner. The only ice cream experience better than Harbor’s Point for a Krieger kid was getting ice cream with Grandpa up in Ipswich. Ali and Ashlyn held their breath as they waited for Drew to weigh in on their dinner and dessert suggestion.

“Will Grandma be there?” he asked, pursing his lips as he thought hard about it.

“Probably” Ali nodded. “And Grandpa and Vivi too.”

“Is that a problem?” Ashlyn bristled at the impending rebuff she was sure was coming.

“What?” Drew frowned in confusion, hearing his Mama’s change in tone loud and clear. “No” he shook his head. “It’s ok if they come.”

“Oh, well good” Ali replied, somehow able not to laugh and create more tension for the teen. “We’ll invite them then.”

Drew chewed his bottom lip as his mind raced and both moms knew there was another request coming. They just hoped it wasn’t something that made the whole deal crumble.

“What’s up D?” Ashlyn finally asked, putting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

“Nothing, just...ummm...” he paused and blushed a bit. “Can, ummm...can Danielle come too?”

Drew’s freshman year girlfriends, both Teri and then Danielle, were nice and friendly girls to have around. Teri was the musician that Drew had broken up with in January – with Meg’s help. And Danielle was the basketball player who became his girlfriend in February. Drew and Danielle spent more time together than Drew and Teri had and it was mainly because Danielle was into sports. Danielle had been a fixture at the big old house for much of April and May, after the new relationship had taken a couple of months to get going. The three youngest Kriegers adapted quickly enough to sharing their space and their big brother with his latest girlfriend. Josie, as always, was smitten with any girl older and more mature than she herself was. Danielle wasn’t as flashy or fashion forward as some of Drew’s other girlfriends had been, but she still had the luster of being in high school and that was completely appealing to the young redhead. Dodge liked Danielle because she hung out and watched sports with them, and she could also take a punch and handle a tackle without flinching. Those were superb attributes in a girlfriend from Dodge’s point of view. Lily, not surprisingly, was fairly indifferent about the whole thing. Drew had never brought a girl home as much as he did Danielle that Spring, but Lily didn’t really seem to care one way or the other. She never seemed to get too excited to see Drew’s girlfriend but she was always happy to spend time with her too.

As different members of the extended family met Danielle, they all gave her their stamp of approval. The great and mysterious, but still unspoken, subject of Drew’s sexuality was discussed discreetly among different adults, but never within earshot of Ali or Ashlyn. They were still adamant about providing their son with the time and space he needed to figure his own self out. But Drew’s birthday dinner had been the time when everything became even more obvious. To everyone. Everyone except Drew.

“Well who is he trying to kid now?” Deb chuckled as the group strolled leisurely from the restaurant to the ice cream shop. They were trying to give their stomachs time to make room for the dessert at the end of the walk. “Does he really not see it?” she kept her voice low as she walked beside Meg, the two of them at the back of the group.

“I don’t know Grandma” Meg laughed softly and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess not.”

“But how can he not see it?” Deb’s face was full of excitement and her smile broad as she walked arm in arm with the recent college graduate. “I mean, come ON.”

It was true. Anybody with eyes could see that Drew’s girlfriend was a baby dyke who, on her most glamorous day, would be a sporty spice girl. There wasn’t a single thing wrong with any of that. That description fit most of the female members of the Krieger world, not all, but most. Nobody was judging Danielle in any way. But the girl was not straight. She wasn’t any more straight than Drew was. In all honesty, Ali and Ashlyn were both relieved because the chances that either of the two freshmen were going to get their hearts broken were slim and none this way.

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about them having sex!” Deb cackled as Meg blushed beet red but had to laugh too.

//

Josie’s 13th birthday in June, her first as a teenager!, was an unmitigated disaster. Ali had heard about an escape room company that specialized in tweens groups and thought it sounded interesting. She knew Josie was smart and if anybody could handle a tweens escape room it would be their brilliant young redhead. Everyone agreed, most importantly Josephine Marie Krieger. She and her moms negotiated which theme the group would have for their big adventure and finally agreed on ‘Who Killed Ms. Marguerite?’. It was the most popular escape room because it included a secret tunnel that you had to locate and then find two additional clues inside to solve the mystery and make your way out of the escape room. The fact that the character of Ms. Marguerite was an aging Broadway star who had been killed in her decrepit old mansion seemed like the icing on the cake to young Miss Josephine – the girl with dreams of her own stardom. 

Ali made the reservation for the deluxe birthday experience which included 2 hours in the escape room, followed by 90 minutes of birthday cake and photos in the event room right afterwards. Josie’s birthday plan was for her group to have lunch together in Gloucester, then drive into Boston for their 2pm escape room reservation. If all went well, they would be back at the big old house for pizza and a movie by 6:30pm. All the girls were excited, as were most of their parents. It was hard to keep 12 and 13-year old girls happy but taking them to the big city to do something as mature as an escape room sounded like the perfect way to have a birthday party. 

On Sunday, June 18th, one day before her actual birthday, Josie and 7 of her closest friends, along with three moms and a godmother: Ali, Ashlyn, Kayla’s mom Pam, and Sydney, all embarked on their adventure. Things got off to a bumpy start at the restaurant before they even left Gloucester. Service was slow and Josie was anxious about being late for the escape room. Halfway through the meal Ali had to go and discreetly talk to the manager about hurrying things up, which seemed to backfire because the waiter took even longer to get their food out to them. Ashlyn and Sydney did their best to keep the girls calm and entertained until they all got into the limo that the keeper had rented for the drive into Boston. Once inside the well-appointed vehicle, the girls blasted their music and twittered animatedly about anything and everything that seemed to pop into their heads.

“Just breathe baby” Ashlyn shouted so her wife could hear her as they settled with Sydney and Pam near the front of the limo, trying to let the girls do their thing. “We’ll make it in time” she nodded and gave the brunette a reassuring smile.

“Wishing for it won’t make it come true” Ali shook her head and rubbed her temples, her face full of worry.

“That’s why I tipped him extra” Ashlyn winked and gave her wife’s hand a loving squeeze.

The good news was that they made it, arriving at 1:50pm with just enough time to get checked in and sign the injury waivers and use the bathroom quickly. The whole group breathed a sigh of relief and the smiles returned to their faces after the tense hour-long ride. The bad news was that there was a problem with the reservation. Somehow, despite the fact that there was a birthday cake decorated to match the theme, with a young and beautiful performance-ready Ms. Marguerite cake topper, waiting for the Krieger group in the event room, the escape room they were given was not the decrepit old mansion as promised. With the heat from the eyes of 8 tween girls burning into the back of her head, Ali spoke tersely to the manager who had just been summoned.

“What do you mean the Ms. Marguerite room is already booked?” she quirked her eyebrow at the middle-aged man in the bowtie and sweater vest who looked as pale as a ghost. “I have my confirmation number right here” she thrust her phone towards him with the confirmation email and all the pertinent information.

“I...I...don’t understand what happened” he shook his head and typed into the computer at the check-in desk. “We have two reservations for the same room. I don’t know how this could have happened...”

“Well, mistakes happen and I understand that” Ali tried to remain reasonable. “But this is my daughter’s birthday party, we need to have that room. She picked that one specifically...”

“I wish I could give you the room ma’am, I really do” he wrung his hands anxiously as he struggled to make eye contact with the brunette. “But the other group is already inside. They’ve already started their adventure.”

Sydney and Ashlyn exchanged a bleak look when they saw Ali’s shoulders slump in defeat. They had a brief pow-wow to explore their options before calling Josie over to join them. After a tense couple of minutes where the redhead miraculously didn’t lose her shit, the three women who meant so much to Josie explained her choices.

“One – we go back home. We take the cake and go home and do the rest of what we had planned” Ashlyn offered with a warm smile. “It’ll be fun. We’ll make it fun. You’ll still all be together...”

“Or...you guys can go into this other escape room and we keep everything else the same” Ali rubbed her daughter’s arm as she explained. “Cake right afterwards and then home in the limo for pizza and a movie.”

“What’s the other escape room again?” Josie asked with a huff. 

Both moms and godmother were impressed by her lack of meltdown. She really was growing up. But they could see how upset Josie was. Her face was red and her fists were clenched and her jaw was set. 

The next punch to the gut came as the girls were being escorted into the ‘Escape from Grimm’ themed room. With the deluxe escape room package you got the best room with the secret tunnel and you also got a professional game operator who would guide the group if and when they got stuck for too long on any one clue. 13-year old girls didn’t want their moms with them on their big adventure, but they also couldn’t go through the room unaccompanied. Most escape room companies had the same rule requiring groups younger than 18 to have an adult with them at all times. Now that Josie’s group had been bumped out of the deluxe room they lost the game operator as well. That meant one of the four adults had to go with them.

“Auntie Syd!” Josie pointed excitedly at her godmother with a huge grin on her face.

“I’m sorry, but the adult has to be a parent of one of the group members” the manager swallowed hard, knowing that he was just digging his own grave deeper and deeper.

Josie looked crestfallen by the latest wrinkle in the plan and several of the other girls let out audible groans of disappointment. Everybody loved Sydney. She was always the most fun. There was an uneasy silence as the three eligible moms looked at one another. Nobody really wanted to do it. Talk about pressure. Being responsible for making sure the girls had fun but still managed to escape the room was a tall order. Pam, the mom of Josie’s best friend Kayla, was a mortgage specialist in a bank and was very good with math and numbers. She would be helpful in the room for sure. Ali was a very logical thinker who would be able to keep the girls on task in the room. Ashlyn was smart but her main appeal that afternoon was that she would be the most fun of the three.

“Ok, well I can...” Ali slowly started to offer up her services when the silence stretched out for another minute.

The look of mortification on Josie’s face stopped the brunette in mid-word. All of the adults, including the manager, saw the reaction and cringed.

“Ummm...why don’t I do it?” Pam shrugged and then laughed. “Maybe there’ll be lots of mortgage breakdowns...”

2 hours later Ashlyn, Ali, and Sydney were setting up the event room so they could all enjoy the beautiful birthday cake and hear how much fun the escape room had been. When the group finally joined them, it was obvious that the adventure had been a bust. Pam wore a frustrated frown on her face while Josie had a fierce scowl on hers. The looks on the 7 other girls ranged somewhere between the two. Not a single smile in the whole bunch.

“Oh boy” Ashlyn gulped before turning on the charm to try and salvage what was left of the afternoon. Ali and Sydney exchanged an anxious look as they moved to greet the girls and lighten the mood.

“What happened?” Ali asked discreetly, once the girls were situated and loading up on sugar.

“Holy shit Al, that was so hard” Pam replied just as quietly as they stood side by side pouring soda that Sydney and Ashlyn were passing out to the girls.

“Really?” the brunette raised her eyebrows in surprise. “It was supposed to be age appropriate.”

“I don’t know” Pam chuckled and shook her head. “I mean, we did ok” she shrugged. “But some of the clues were so hard... I don’t think any of us would be able to finish it either.”

Great. Something else Ali would have to take up with the manager after they got out of there for the day. She didn’t want to make a scene and embarrass Josie. She knew enough not to do that. But the brunette was furious with just about every aspect of their escape room adventure that day. Everything except the cake. It was as promised – beautiful and delicious. Ali was glad they would be bringing the uneaten half home with them for later.

Josie had been a brat about the escape room debacle for about 20 minutes after it happened. Then, either from maturity or the cake and soda, she seemed to get over it, at least on the surface. She spent the rest of the time laughing along with her friends as they relived some of the more memorable parts of the adventure. The Grimm Fairy Tales theme was a bit too young for some of the girls who had outgrown their princess infatuations. The irony was that there was a whole other sub-textual level of Grimm’s tales that went completely over all of their heads. Someday later, maybe in college when they were in a comparative literature course or something, they might learn to appreciate the stories they judged so harshly that afternoon.

The redhead was so convincing that her mothers almost started to believe her good mood themselves. Something told them otherwise though – that maternal instinct. It wasn’t until that night, after the girls had gone home after the pizza and movie portion of the party in the front living room, that Josie let her true feelings be known.

“You RUINED my birthday!” she yelled and stomped her foot, her arms straight down each side with a clenched fist at the end of both. She was facing Ali, both standing in the front living room at 9:15pm while Ashlyn started the party clean-up in the kitchen. “I can’t believe what a disaster it was!” Josie yelled even louder into her mother’s shocked face.

“Hey!” Ali snapped back, stunned by the outrage levelled her way. Both hands were full of empty pizza plates and she was so startled that a knife and fork slid off of one and landed between the two combatants on the floor. “Settle down, now!” she barked with her own scowl. “I know you’re upset but...”

“Upset?! I’m mortified!” the redhead yelled back, undeterred. “That whole thing was just embarrassing!”

“What is going on in here?” Ashlyn, followed by the dogs and Drew, stepped into the room from the mudroom with wide, concerned eyes. 

Josie’s back was to the keeper but Ashlyn could see the fury in her wife’s eyes. Neither of them allowed any of the kids to speak so disrespectfully to them, under any circumstances.

“She ruined my birthday!” Josie pointed at Ali and turned her bombastic face to the newcomers. She was about to burst into tears any minute but pure anger was keeping them at bay for a few extra seconds.

“I ruined your birthday?” Ali’s eyes popped open in disbelief. “I did?” her voice was no longer a yell as she tried to regain control and hear what her incensed little girl was really trying to say. 

“Yes YOU did!” Josie swung back with her darkest scowl yet.

“How...what did I do?” the brunette was truly perplexed. 

Ali had bent over backwards all day long trying to make sure not to embarrass Josie. The only reason she didn’t go full mama bear on the escape room manager was to keep from making what her teenager would consider a scene. Now she was being blamed for ruining a party that was pretty amazing, despite the hiccups at the escape room.

“Whoa, relax psycho” Drew tossed at his sister, shaking his head at the high drama unfolding in front of him.

“That’s enough” Ashlyn frowned at him. The last thing she needed was him revving his sister up. It was going to be hard enough to get Josie calmed down as it was. “Go to bed” she nodded towards the front stairs.

“Fine, but I’ll be able to hear everything she’s yelling about anyway” he shrugged and looked at the ceiling. His room was directly above the front living room.

“Go that way” Ashlyn grabbed his shoulder as he started to walk further into the room. She knew he would either say something in passing or poke or needle Josie as he walked by her. The keeper shook her head at Drew and gently pushed him back into the mudroom so he could go around into the front hall that way. “And don’t say another word.”

“You had the wrong room!” Josie howled, oblivious to whatever was going on behind her now. She was in full attack mode and it was all directed at the brunette in front of her. “We had to do the stupid fairy tale room!”

“That wasn’t our fault” Ashlyn and the dogs stepped closer to try and mediate the dispute. “We reserved the right room...”

But Josie was on a roll and didn’t even glance at the keeper. Her eyes were deep blue lasers boring into Ali’s flustered face.

“And then you didn’t even come IN with us!” she yelled, her eyes wider than ever. “Kayla’s mom was terrible...”

“You told me not to go in with you!” Ali interrupted, defending herself loudly, unable to keep her temper in check, and feeling more exasperated than anything. She set the two plates back down on the coffee table and stood back up with her hands on her hips, eyes flashing. “I tried, but you didn’t want me to!”

“I never said that!” Josie shouted back, her own thin arms waving and gesticulating her anger.

“No, but when I opened my mouth to volunteer you shook your head at me!” the brunette tried to explain. “I wanted to go in with you, I tried to...”

“You ruined EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU!!!” the redhead screamed, tears streaming down her aggrieved face. 

She stomped her foot again and then followed it by stomping past Ali and towards the front stairs. For such a slight girl she carried a lot of power when she wanted to.

“No way” Ashlyn shook her head and reached for her daughter’s arm, to turn and scold her.

But Josie wrenched her arm away and kept moving, bawling louder with each step.

“Leave me alone!”

“You go to your room, right now!” Ashlyn yelled, stunned and horrified by what had transpired right under her nose.

“I’m going!” came one last tearful retort, which was followed by severe stomping up each step and then capped off by a house-rattling slam of her bedroom door.

Both dogs stood whining at the foot of the stairs while both moms stood with nostrils flaring and heads spinning. Ali hadn’t said a word or moved a muscle since Josie’s heart-wrenching outburst. Her hands were still on her hips and her eyes were still alight, but there was sadness filling her face by the second. Ashlyn didn’t know what to do. She wanted to throttle Josie, but she knew that wouldn’t help. She wanted to hold her heartsick wife, but she knew Ali wouldn’t want that either. What the fuck had just happened?

“Why’s Jojo so mad?” Lily’s tentative voice got Ashlyn’s attention as the girl leaned into the doorway from the bottom of the front stairs. “Is she ok?”

“She’s fine” Ashlyn frowned in answer, stepping around Ali to get to the blonde. She left a lingering squeeze on the brunette’s hip as she moved past her, patting her lightly before meeting Lily. The poor girl looked genuinely frightened. “She’s in big trouble actually” the keeper blew out a breath and tried to give her youngest daughter a reassuring look. “She had a temper tantrum, like she was 5 years old again” she shook her head and put her hand on Lily’s shoulder, gently turning her around and walking back up the stairs with her.

“But why?”

“I don’t know sweetpea, we’ll have to ask her in the morning” Ashlyn explained more patiently than she thought she’d be able to. “She’s going to be punished too.”

“Was she yelling at Mom?” the young blonde looked up incredulously. Nobody yelled at either mother like that. Nobody.

“She was” the keeper nodded, her face stern as she thought about it some more. “And that is not ok.”

At the top of the steps Ashlyn turned and saw Drew sticking his head out of his doorway near the front window at the front of the house. His bedroom door and Josie’s bedroom door were up there and the doors to the twins’ rooms were down closer to the master bedroom. The top of the stairs was right in the middle of the second-floor hallway, almost equidistant between the two sets of doors. Even the angsty 15-year old had a look of disbelief on his face, mixed with some fear. The foundation of the family had just been tested that night and the other kids, for probably the first time, felt a power shift that unsettled them all. Only deep-sleeping Dodge seemed to be unaware of the evening’s drastic atmospheric shift.

Ashlyn gave Drew a reassuring smile and nodded at him for extra measure. He was sensitive and the keeper could tell he wanted to go down and check on his mom. But Ali wouldn’t want that either. No, the brunette was going to need a few minutes to collect herself before trying to re-establish the family dynamic that had just been thrown off kilter.

“I can’t believe Dodge didn’t wake up” Lily laughed lightly, feeling better with her Mama’s presence and straightforward explanation. 

There hadn’t been a lot to it but Ashlyn had been honest and kids appreciated that even if they couldn’t understand why.

“He must have got some of your sleep, huh Lily girl” she smiled down and pulled Lily into a side hug as they walked together to her room.

“Yeah” Lily leaned into the hug, feeling better hearing the oft-repeated supposition that her twin brother’s deep sleeping habits had come at the cost of her own difficulty sleeping. It was some kind of twin in the womb trade-off. “You’re right” she chuckled softly and sighed with a small smile.

Mama was there with her, saying the same things and feeling and sounding the same way. Maybe the scary arguing wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe her 11-year old world wasn’t completely upside down after all. Maybe it was just hot-headed Josie losing her temper again and that would be it. She’d get punished and then everything would go back to the way it had always been. Maybe.

What Lily didn’t realize was that both of her mothers were hoping the same thing too.


	4. The Academy Turns 10

The summer of 2034 was one of the best ones the Kriegers ever had. The off year in the four-year major women’s soccer tournaments was always a nice respite from summertime travel and stress. The Euros had just been last year and the world cup wasn’t until 2035 so Ashlyn wasn’t jetting off to a foreign country for 3-4 weeks that summer. Nobody was happier about that than Ali Krieger. It had been a scary year already and they were only halfway through it. The brunette was very happy to have her wife home with them after the frightening breast cancer scare in March and her own strange, changing body freaking her out. Ali was turning 50 that summer and she didn’t feel that old. She sure didn’t look that old. She wasn’t having a terrible time turning 50, not really. She was ok with it for the most part. But even though she didn’t look or feel particularly old, her own body was giving her daily reminders that it was aging and changing on her. There wasn’t anything to be done about it but learn to accept the changes and keep living her blessed life. But it added to her sense of wanting to keep her family close and protect them in a way. Protect them from what though? From growing up and growing old and the inevitable outcome of mortality. 

Ashlyn was completely fine, 100% healthy, and Ali knew that. But the idea that the cancer their family had been trying so hard to stay ahead of would come at her keeper instead of herself had really rocked the brunette’s world. She found herself going out of her way to do nice things for Ashlyn even more often than she already did. 

“Baby, I’m ok” Ashlyn confronted her wife about the issue during the last week of June. 

The Academy didn’t start that summer until Sunday, July 2nd and Ali was feeling extra clingy about having her wife away from home two nights every week for the next 8 weeks. It had only been 3 months since the breast cancer scare and the brunette was still trying to figure out how to keep that fear at bay. 

“I know you are” Ali blew a breath out as she dropped heavily onto the family room couch late Tuesday night. “I know.”

A sad frown filled Ashlyn’s face as she stood there with her phone in her hand, looking at dates on the calendar. She hated to see her wife so anxious but she didn’t know what else she could do to help alleviate the worry. She had taken Ali with her to meet with the oncologist to make them both feel better about the clean bill of health the keeper had been given at the end of March. There was nothing wrong with Ashlyn except for her bad knee and her mother’s and grandmother’s fingers that were starting to bother her more and more. She hadn’t even told anybody about that yet though. The point was, she didn’t have breast cancer. 

“Do you though?” Ashlyn sat on the coffee table, put her phone down next to her, and rested her hands on Ali’s knees – squeezing them gently and then leaving them there as she continued. “Honey, I know it was scary. I was terrified too. But I don’t have cancer” she squeezed the brunette’s knees again and felt a little relief when Ali finally met her eyes. “It was just a false positive, just like all of your ultrasounds that give us heart attacks when they find something that might not even be there. It’s the same thing Al.”

“I know. I know” Ali nodded and stretched her hands down her thighs to meet Ashlyn’s, but kept her body slumped into the couch seat. “I get it. I really do. I don’t know why I’m being such a chicken about this. I mean...it’s literally the same thing that happens to me with my ultrasounds. You’re right” she sighed again and shook her head but her face still looked melancholy. 

“And I’m just staying at camp on Sunday nights and Tuesday nights, just like always...”

“I know, I know. Nothing is different. It’s the same schedule you’ve been keeping for 10 years” she rolled her eyes this time and smiled a little bit too.

The fact that The Academy was starting its 10th year had only added to Ali’s sense of everything getting too old. Whitney and Cat Whitehill and Ashlyn had been planning for months how to mark the special occasion for The Academy. They had special guest coaches lined up all summer long. It was like the allstar line up. They dangled the tantalizing 10th anniversary story in front of anybody they had previously been unable to get as a coach, to seal the deal and rope the big name stars in once and for all. It was going to be a big, fun summer for everybody involved with The Academy and Ali was excited to be even a small part of it.

“It’s hard to deal with, believe me, I know” Ashlyn’s face got serious as she took the brunette’s hands and squeezed them. “The idea that your wife could be sick...that she could have some deadly disease trying to take her away from you...” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried not to get too emotional. “But you can’t let it win like that. You can’t give it more time and energy than you have to. You can’t feed into it.”

“I know Ash” Ali sat forward with purpose, eager to show her keeper that she really did understand how difficult her ultrasound results had been on her all these years. The brunette moved her hands to Ashlyn’s face, holding it gently and locking eyes. “You’re so strong, so brave. I don’t know how you do it honey” she shook her head as she gazed into tawny hazel eyes. “But you DO do it. And I promise I’ll figure it out too. I promise” she nodded resolutely.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah babe. I swear. I won’t let my fear win. I won’t give it any more time. No looking back...”

“If I can do it, you can do it. We both know that” Ashlyn teased and made them both giggle, just a bit. Just enough to keep them from blubbering. “I’m alright honey. I’m good.”

“You’re amazing” Ali smiled and brought their lips together in a tender, but meaningful kiss, hands still in place on her favorite face.

“We’re amazing too” Ashlyn joked in a silly voice, one hand squeezing each of her breasts as she pulled back to show her wife just how ok everything actually was. “We’re happy and healthy” she kept up the voice and added a ridiculous face to the performance, making Ali laugh out loud. “And once we get this Horribles Parade schedule nailed down we’re gonna be horny too!” she managed to continue even through some of her own laughter. “Ok? Cuz we’re ok. Are you ok?”

“Yes” Ali laughed some more. “You goofball, yes” she scooted closer to the edge of the couch and pulled her keeper in for a tight hug between her legs, Ashlyn’s hands still in place on her breasts. They held each other for a few minutes and the blonde moved her hands behind her wife and hugged her hard. Ali felt the strength passing from her keeper into her own body and whole being. She hummed and then spoke softly into Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I love you so much.”

//

School ended, Dodge got his rainbow mohawk, Drew started working his first paying job at Machado’s pizzeria with Ethan, Noah Cross became the first 4-family kid besides Meg to graduate high school, Tommy Flanagan turned 7, Ali turned 50, Johnny Harris turned 17, Deb Christopher turned 74, Kyle and Nathan celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary, Ali & Ashlyn celebrated their 17th wedding anniversary, and the busy summer followed the patterns of so many summers before it.

The girl gang got back together again for The Academy and it was notable for 2 reasons. One was that it was the first time 9-year old Becca Flanagan was old enough to attend. She was beyond thrilled to finally be joining her four-family friends at her mom’s soccer camp! The other was that it would be Lizzy Harris’ last year at the soccer camp. She was 14 which was the maximum age unless you were good enough to qualify for the invitational 4th week, which was for girls 11-16 years old. Lizzy had never been able to break into that group but she had a lot of fun playing anyway. She stayed with Ashlyn and Ali, or Tammye and Carol, for the first 6 weeks again and loved every minute of it – even the awkward week 4 when all of her cousins went to camp without her. Lily, Cristina, Penny, and Josie all made the cut and age limit and were able to play through all 6 weeks that summer - Lily finally being 11 years old.

Meg took most of the month of June off and visited Washington DC and went on vacation to Mexico with Charlie. She was back and committed to coaching all 8 weeks of the Academy though. She had spent so much of the past 9 summers there that it felt impossibly wrong not to spend her last free summer there too. At least she hoped this would be her last free summer. If she got drafted into the NWSL in January as was expected, she’d be playing professional soccer every summer for the foreseeable future.

Ali spent as much time as she could at The Academy that summer too, more so than usual even. Most of her favorite people were all there so it made sense that she would want to be too. Ashlyn and Niki and Sydney were stalwarts, as always. When she wasn’t coaching at The Academy during weeks 2, 3, 5, and 8, Ali held down the fort at home and kept her eyes on Drew and Dodge, both boys busy with different things. Drew’s job filled in the days that he wasn’t at baseball camp and soccer camp and basketball camp. Dodge’s summer was full of all of those camps and more, including the science camp that he still really enjoyed. Thankfully, Ken and Vicki Krieger, along with the other grandmas, helped shuttle both boys from place to place and make sure they were well-fed too. She loved her sons dearly, but that summer, Ali’s heart was up in the woods of New Hampshire with her wife and those amazing soccer women who were molding and shaping another generation of women’s soccer players, including all the young girls in her own life whom she held so dear. 

There was something extra special about that summer. Deb, Tammye, and Carol all spent a lot of time at The Academy too. Maybe that was part of it? For the first time ever, all the girls were there, all the grandmas made sure to spend time there too. It was as if all the stars had finally aligned and the center of the universe, the Krieger universe anyway, was in Greenfield, NH for 8 weeks. The ending party for that year’s Academy was the biggest and best ever. Ashlyn and Whitney and Cat had done their best to get all the Tarheel alumnae they could to coach the final week so they could all be together at the same time. It was incredible. Ali was grateful that her kids got to see their Mama in her element, as her truest self, surrounded by some of the women who had meant the most to her throughout much of her life. It felt like a gift from the universe, but Ali knew it was only happening because of the tireless work they had all put into The Academy over the years. Nobody worked harder at it than Cat and Whitney and Ashlyn and to see them all so happy at the end of August was truly something to behold.

“This is kinda crazy, right?” Meg asked, her eyes wide as she took a seat next to Ali at the big party at the end of the 8th week of camp. 

The two women surveyed the boisterous but still relaxed scene around them. There were smiling and laughing faces everywhere. Tired bodies with some knocks and pulled muscles, with some sunburns and some bruises, with some splinted fingers and bandaged elbows and knees. Everybody there, except for the oldest and youngest among them who belonged to a parent or a daughter there, had spent time that week playing the sport they loved more than anything. Soccer, or football, had given those women everything and the celebratory atmosphere reflected how deep the ties among them really extended. Some had been friends since college – all 10 of the visiting Tarheels, plus the 3 resident Tarheels. Some had been friends since elementary school – Ali and Sydney. Some had been lovers and wives for 10 years or more, some for less time – Tobin and Christen, Kristie and Rachel. Some were daughters and nieces of those women and about to embark on their own professional soccer journey – Meg, and some had daughters already playing in the NWSL – Mia Hamm’s daughter Grace.

“Yeah, but it’s amazing” Ali beamed back at Meg. “And thank God you’re old enough to really appreciate it” she chuckled.

It was true. Just as many of the girls who were Meg’s age didn’t know who Michelle Akers was or what a defining impact she had made on the sport, as the girls that summer didn’t know who Mia Hamm or Abby Wambach were anymore either. It was disturbing but it was just the way life worked. The girls that summer looked back on Tobin Heath and Alex Morgan and Megan Rapinoe as the giants of women’s soccer. Anybody who predated them didn’t exist unless the girls had a parent or coach who took the time to educate them. Soon enough, the names would all change again as the next generation of amazing athletes came along and took their places on the tvs and at the medal podiums and in the history books.

“No kidding” Meg raised her eyebrows all the way up and turned to the brunette with shock in her voice. “I had to tell my group who Crystal Dunn was the other day!”

“What is the world coming to?” Ali laughed and shook her head. “I don’t even wanna know.”

“They all know Ash though” Meg smiled with pride she didn’t even try to disguise.

“Aww, I love that” Ali smiled brightly again. “The tv gig keeps her face and name out there, longer than most other retired players, but I don’t care. I’ll take it. The more people learn about soccer from her, the better.”

“Amen” Meg nodded. “She must have a really good agent or something” she poked the brunette in the ribs and smirked.

“Only the very best” Ali put her arm around the younger woman’s shoulders and pulled her into a side hug. After a minute she turned her head to face the redhead and spoke seriously, albeit rapidly. “I’ve got room for one more client, if you’re interested. But there’s no pressure. You don’t even have to say anything...”

“Al, of course I want you to be my agent” Meg stopped the nervous rambling with a warm smile and a pat on her stepmother’s leg. “I mean, if you’re ok with that. I know you usually let the other agents handle most of the clients because you don’t have a lot of time...”

“I do” Ali nodded. “And that’s what I mean, if you want one of the other agents who handles more clients...”

“No, I’d really rather have you...”

“But only if you’re sure...”

“If you have time...”

After another minute of too nice to get anything accomplished replies back and forth, both women started giggling at themselves. Meg had already committed to signing with Knight-Harris. That was a no-brainer. But selecting an actual agent or having one assigned to her was different. She wanted Ali but she didn’t want the brunette to be stretched too thin. Meg knew that Ali had turned Tanner Wild over to one of the senior agents, the best they had for MLS, a couple of years ago because she wanted to make sure he got the very best K-H had to offer. If that was what Ali thought would be best for Meg in the NWSL then the redhead would be fine with that too. But if she truly had her choice, she would pick Ali every single time.

Ali sat up straighter and cleared her throat. “Margaret Ann Doucette, will you please be my client? I promise that I will give you all the time and attention you need and I will put your career needs above everybody else’s in my care.”

“Even Ash’s?” the redhead teased, pretending to scrutinize the offer.

“Even my darling wife’s. Yes” Ali nodded and winked, pleased that Meg was so relaxed about the next big thing coming in her life. At least for the time being.

“Ok then, yes. I accept.”

“Good, we have a deal” Ali smiled as they shook hands.

“Hey, whatever this is over here has to wait” Allie Long said as she jogged to a stop in front of the two women sitting on the picnic table bench at the side of the backyard style barbecue party. “We need you keep” she nodded at Meg with an expectant look on her face.

“Aw, leave her out of it” Ashlyn shouted from her place on the other side of the circular grouped party. “I don’t want her getting hurt just so you idiots can decide a bet!”

Ali, freshly committed agent’s hat on her head, squinted in confusion at her wife and then at the rest of the Tarheel crew and finally up at Allie Long.

“What’s up?” the brunette asked cautiously.

“Kling is talking shit again and Tobes is ready to shut her down” Allie explained quickly as she reached her hand out to Meg. “You up to take some shots from some old-timers or what?”

The truth was, Meg had been dying for more soccer action all year long. She had been training as much as possible at BC during the offseason to try and stay sharp, and then taking as many shots as she could for the 8 weeks at The Academy. She knew the number one problem most first year professionals encountered was fatigue and fitness. The college season was so much shorter than the professional one, and the field players also had to adjust to the much stricter substitution rules in the pros too.

“I’m in. Definitely” Meg grinned as Allie helped her up and the two walked back over to the rest of the UNC group.

“This I’ve gotta see” Ali chuckled to herself as she caught Ashlyn’s eye and smiled. 

She laughed when she saw the keeper shrug her shoulders and thought to herself how adorable Ashlyn was. That playful, youthful twinkle she got in her eye had never faded, despite her 48 years. Ali was thankful that Meg was there in the first place because she knew that Ashlyn would be fielding all these bravado-fueled shots in her stead if not. Her pride would not allow her to protect her knee and abstain if Meg wasn’t there.

What started out as target practice from the top of the 18 quickly turned into a very competitive 7 v 7 which included Meg in one goal and Ashlyn in the other. None of the other coaches wanted anything to do with the Tarheel game, no way no how. Both Mewis sisters were there along with a handful of other long-time coaches who had all attended different colleges and universities and they all stood and watched the UNC alumnae of all different ages going at it as if they were vying for the World Cup. Those women, just like most of the really good women’s soccer players, were competitive through and through and the fact that it was a friendly pick-up game at a summer soccer camp did nothing to change that. Meg was the only one brave enough to enter the Tarheel fray.

When it was over, despite all the extra knocks and bruises and aches, all 14 women wore enormous grins on their faces as they smack-talked one another and hugged each other tight. Tobin Heath had indeed shut Meghan Klingenberg’s mouth down, and then the two old friends laughed about it. Meg came through unscathed, but Ashlyn limped noticeably as she moved through the throng of female empowerment personified. It was a magical way to end the last week of the 10th anniversary summer and there were plenty of pictures to prove it and remind everyone once they got back home for the rest of their lives. 

//

A birthday highlight came at the end of June when Tommy Flanagan turned 7 years old. The boy had been doing well with his Enzyme Replacement Therapy (ERT) and it was hard to believe he was already halfway through his 3rd year of weekly visits to Boston’s Children’s Hospital. Some days it felt like the Flanagans had been making that trip forever. Other days it felt brand new all over again. As he grew, the cocktail needed to be adjusted incrementally and those weeks with the new enzyme concoction were the most challenging. The big fear was still that his body would reject the treatment and go into anaphylactic shock. The 4-hour hospital out-patient visits turned into 7- or 8-hour days when it was time for a new adjustment – the doctors wanted to monitor him for at least 3 hours afterwards to make sure his body would handle it ok.

Life for the boy had gotten back to as normal as possible as soon as his body was healthy enough to allow it. The enzyme replacement stopped any further damage to his system, but his body had still been ravaged by the MPS I disease for the first 4-1/2 years of his life. The mucopolysaccharidosis had caused permanent damage to several areas of Tommy’s body, but the biggest chronic issues he faced were weakened joints in his legs and hips, a weakened heart, and lungs that didn’t work nearly as well as they should. There were a myriad of other more minor deficiencies his body would contend with as he continued to grow up and mature. He wouldn’t grow as quickly or as robustly as other kids and he would almost certainly always need an inhaler if not oxygen as he got older. Additionally, he had to take medicine for his heart – the amount and dosage of which would increase as he aged. He was alive and would be able to live a relatively normal life, but he would always be the sickly kid who had to take extra precautions before going out in the cold or rain or snow. Nobody complained though. They all understood how lucky the Flanagans were that his MPS I was the least severe form of the disease. The fact that Tommy would grow up and grow old along with his friends and sister felt like a gift from the heavens all on its own. Nobody was going to gripe about weekly hospital trips or inhalers or unsteady legs.

What Tommy’s illness changed, however, was Whitney and Ryan and Becca’s lives. It was impossible for the Flanagans to fly to Disney World for a week, for example. Any trips or vacations they did take were scheduled as long weekends, from Friday to Tuesday at most. Again, it wasn’t the end of the world and the inconvenience paled in comparison to the alternative, but it was a challenge for the young family, especially as Becca got older and became more active. Becca was a great little athlete and everyone fully expected her to make teams and travel to tournaments and all of those exciting elements of being a kid. Whitney and Ryan were determined to do the best they could to make sure their daughter’s life didn’t get bogged down because of Tommy’s disease. 

To that end, and to the best of their ability, Whitney and Ryan adopted the tried and true ‘divide and conquer’ method of parenting. The only exception was the Wednesday trips to the hospital on Tommy’s adjusted ERT days that happened every couple of months. They were both by his side, and there for each other, for those long days. On those days, and many other less stressful but still difficult days in between, the Flanagans relied on Becca’s friends’ parents for pick-ups and drop-offs. Nobody in Winchester expected Whitney or Ryan to pull their fair share of rides. Everybody knew about Tommy and made allowances and the Flanagans were eternally grateful. They did everything they could to make up for it in other ways so they didn’t feel like a charity case, both Whitney and Ryan were too proud for that. Ryan was a coach extraordinaire and became one of the most popular after school parents. Turning conventional heterosexual marriage roles upside down, Ryan had become a stay-at-home dad back when Tommy’s ERT treatments had first started. His original leave of absence from his dream job – head coach of the Boston Cannons professional lacrosse team - in 2032 had turned into a part-time front office role with the club for the first half of 2033 and then changed to a strictly employee-at-will scenario from that point on. He might watch a season’s worth of game film on a player and prepare a thorough scouting report, or sometimes he would break down game film for the new coaching staff if they were stumped about something or wanted a fresh perspective. But that was it. Whitney was the one making the real money at Knight-Harris and Ryan was man enough to make the obvious solution work for their family.

Whitney split her time between K-H and the Engen Foundation and was as busy as ever in both places. She adjusted quickly to their new normal, even though it killed her to be away from home so much. She, like Ali Krieger, did her best to get home in time for dinner, if not a little earlier, every night. Also like Ali, she surrounded herself at both jobs with competent colleagues who she could trust to make good decisions when she herself wasn’t in the office. Whitney was one of the most practical people you’d ever meet so she just accepted the change and kept moving forward. She knew their lives would be better, all of their lives, if she could continue to bring in the money the way she had all along. Ryan’s position didn’t pay nearly as much as hers, and her health insurance was light years better than his would ever be. It was an easy solution when you broke it down that way. But, like every mother in the world, Whitney’s heart broke a little every time she had to leave a sick or clingy child behind to head to work. 

Ryan’s parents had been very helpful, driving up from Long Island to stay for a week at a time every month or so. They were also the ones who babysat both kids so Whitney and Ryan could get away for a weekend now and then. It was the age-old caregivers’ dilemma though. The parents who were supposed to be getting some well-deserved time away spent more time worrying about Tommy back at home than anything else. Sometimes they came back from a weekend trip to Newport, RI or somewhere else close by feeling more stressed than when they had left. But other times they were able to de-stress and re-energize themselves enough so they could tackle another 6 weeks of parental responsibility with smiles on their faces and peace in their hearts.

“Look at your beautiful boy” Ashlyn beamed as she stood next to her best friend at Tommy’s 7th birthday party at the end of June. They watched him reacting to the magician who was dazzling the partygoers with some pretty amazing tricks. “God, I’m so proud of you” the keeper spoke emotionally and gave Whitney a side hug. “You’re the best mom I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t you dare get me started” the lawyer threatened, her face serious, even though she barely took her eye off of her son.

“I won’t, I won’t” Ashlyn chuckled and gave the equally emotional mom another squeeze. “I promised you I wouldn’t let today turn into a cry-fest and I will keep that promise” she nodded officially. 

It was true. Whitney, fearing that there would be too many feelings thrust her way at Tommy’s birthday party from well-meaning family, friends, and even parents of Tommy’s friends who didn’t know the Flanagans very well yet, had enlisted Ashlyn to be her body woman for the day. The keeper was supposed to stay by Whitney’s side and keep any blubbering adults away from her. As soon as they even looked like they were going to say something that would make the birthday mom feel like crying, Ashlyn was supposed to change the subject and do anything necessary to intervene. That included bodily removing the offending blubberer from the vicinity if it came to that.

“Good, because I’ll have your back-up step in otherwise and remove you too” she turned to face the keeper and quirked her eyebrow at her.

“Aw, you got a back-up?” Ashlyn whined but couldn’t help love her intelligent friend even more. “Who do you think here is gonna be able to remove me from your area?” she asked as she began to scan the room. 

She felt safe knowing it wasn’t Ryan because the big man and Mr. Mom extraordinaire was busily handling most of the party logistics and simply wouldn’t be available to fill-in for the body woman.

“She’s been watching you all afternoon, ready to pull the plug...” Whitney grinned and nodded at Sydney a few feet away who was indeed staring hard at Ashlyn, trying to read the situation and determine if she needed to step in.

“Oh please” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and laughed when Sydney smirked their way and quirked her eyebrow at the keeper. “Syd?! Really?” she scoffed.

The reality was that none of them would stand a chance in a confrontation with Sydney Leroux Dwyer and they all knew it. They had watched the coach handle almost every kind of situation imaginable over the years and she hadn’t failed any of them yet. If she couldn’t talk her way out of a situation, she would intimidate her way out of it instead. If all else failed and Sydney had to resort to physicality, they knew she would dominate that way too.

“Absolutely” Whitney grinned again and turned her attention back to Tommy, his friends, and the magician. “So don’t push your luck.”

“Yeah, whatever” Ashlyn pretended to be unimpressed. “As if.”

As she stood there next to her best friend in the whole world, Ashlyn was happy and relieved that Whitney was surrounded by so many good, strong people in her life that were all willing to do anything in their power to help her and her family. The keeper was proud to be among them. She glanced quickly at Sydney again and the two shared a small smile, acknowledging how seriously they were taking their roles that day. Both women knew the other would do anything for Whitney and her family. Anything.

The biggest change to the Flanagan system also came in June. Whitney’s mom Kim had gone through her own breast cancer scare 2 years earlier but had received the all-clear after a couple of biopsies showed nothing to be concerned about. But in April that year she had been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer and the outlook was bleak. In the two months between the diagnosis and June, there was plenty of gnashing of teeth in the Engen family about whether or not the cancer had indeed begun back in 2032 or not. Did the doctors and tests just miss it? Whitney’s brother was almost beyond control in his anger and outrage and wanted to pursue legal action against the hospital and doctors in California for what he assumed was their error. 

“What do you wanna do though?” Ashlyn asked her best friend towards the end of May after the whole Engen family had gone through 6 weeks of intense debate and argument on the touchy subject. The two friends were talking over the take-out lunch the keeper had brought to the Engen Foundation office in their ongoing attempt to find bestie time together whenever they could squeeze it into their busy lives. “We all know what Taylor wants to do” she paused, trying not to let the judgment seep into her voice. She wanted to know what Whitney thought, just on her own without any influence from anybody else, “but what do YOU want Whit?”

“Oh, Ash...” the lawyer sighed and let her fork rest on the edge of her plastic take-out salad bowl. Her face was as tired and worried as Ashlyn had ever seen it, and that included in the earliest days of Tommy’s disease nightmare. “I just...” she started but then paused again as her brow furrowed and she shook her head slowly...”what I want is for her not to have cancer. That’s what I fucking want” she admitted tersely, her face changing into an angry frown. “But I can’t have that, no matter how much I want it, no matter how much we all want it. I’m just as mad as Taylor is and I’ve talked to some of my law school friends who specialize in this kind of thing...”

“You have?” Ashlyn’s eyebrows lifted in surprise.

Whitney hadn’t shared every little detail of her mother’s struggle with Ashlyn that Spring because, well, the keeper had been going through her own breast cancer scare and she didn’t want to freak her out about it. The idea that Ashlyn’s biopsy, the one that cleared her from anything cancerous and allowed her to get back to living without the fear of breast cancer again, could have been wrong...Whitney couldn’t bear to go down that path. They weren’t even sure that’s what had happened to Kim Engen, in all honesty. Whitney had resolved not to put that worry into her best friend’s head. She had finally confided to Ali about it but only because the brunette had insisted, and even then with only the vaguest of details. 

“Of course. I’m furious about it too and I just know they missed something, or misread the biopsy results, or something. I want them to be held accountable so it doesn’t happen again.”

“And Taylor’s out for blood. He wants vengeance” Ashlyn nodded.

“It’s part of how he’s handling everything I guess” Whitney sighed and took a drink of her water before continuing. “But that’s not what mom wants. You know?” she turned pleading eyes up to the keeper and Ashlyn felt the pain and anguish of what was sure to come next for Kim Engen – it was all etched right there in her best friend’s distraught face. “She just wants to try and make the most out of whatever time she’s got left. She doesn’t want to spend it on lawsuits and depositions and all of that bullshit that hospitals do to try and keep from accepting responsibility for anything.”

“I get that” the keeper nodded again and reached across the corner of Whitney’s desk to pat her hand. “It’s taken me a long time to figure that out. I was mad at Gram...before she died. I was so confused. But I get it now.”

“The last thing I want is to force mom to do something she doesn’t wanna do. I won’t let Taylor do that to her. I won’t” her jaw set and her eyes narrowed at the idea. “I just won’t.”

What Kim Engen wanted more than anything was to spend more time with her two grandchildren. The whole family thought a change of medical scene was a good idea too, so at the beginning of June, Kim and Chris Engen moved to a modest condo in a senior living community in Arlington, MA. Arlington was right next to Winchester, where the Flanagans lived, and had been the same town where Whitney and Ryan had lived early in their marriage. Niki and Molly Cross still lived in Arlington as well. The Engens kept their house in California because nobody was ready to talk about what might happen in a year or where Chris Engen was going to try and figure out how to live without his beloved wife. 

The family was optimistic, overall, about having Kim getting better treatment in Massachusetts. But Stage 4 breast cancer was a devastating diagnosis. Stage 4 breast cancer didn’t go into remission, no matter how much chemotherapy and radiation the patient could endure. But not every Stage 4 diagnosis was immediately terminal either. Some patients were able to live with the disease for several years, depending on how their body responded to treatment. The most optimistic prognosis was that Kim would fight hard to beat the cancer back enough so that she and her doctors could get her on a treatment plan that would help keep it in check so she could live some semblance of her normal life. That was the plan and the Flanagan family welcomed Whitney’s mom and dad into their daily lives for as long as they were lucky enough to have them.

//

Johnny Harris’ 17th birthday was at the end of July and the Kriegers made sure to send him birthday wishes throughout that Monday, July 31st. They also sent him a present that had been the subject of much debate between Ashlyn and her brother Chris over the past few weeks. As always, money was at the root of the disagreement.

“He’s starting his senior year in a month, I just want him to have the best year ever...to have something great to remember from high school” Ashlyn stated her case as plainly as she could. She didn’t want to get too emotional or her brother would throw it back in her face as a weakness.

Both Harris siblings had more painful memories from their own high school experience than they did good ones. Forget about great ones. Aside from athletic accomplishments for both Ashlyn and Chris, there hadn’t been anything else about high school to remember very fondly. Chris had started his slide into addiction towards the end of high school and then dropped down fast when Grandpa John in Gloucester died during Chris’ senior year. Ashlyn had been away at a soccer camp and wasn’t around as much as she would have liked, and Chris spiraled quickly. He went to community college for a semester but dropped out and started working construction jobs near Satellite Beach. Eventually after one of his stints in rehab, he began working at the surf shop and was promoted to manager. There was nothing wrong with any of that, but Chris had always felt ashamed of all of it. He knew from years of therapy for his addiction that he associated most of that time period with the alcohol that nearly destroyed him. His shame cycle was complex and, because he had fallen off the wagon several times, long-lived. But Chris Harris had worked harder than ever after his last destructive fall – the one when he nearly killed his own sister at Thanksgiving – and had stayed clean and sober and productive ever since. It had been 6 years and 5 months since he was last released from rehab and he had vowed to never go back again. So far, so good.

Unfortunately, neither Chris nor Beth made a lot of money, despite working hard at the surf shop and owning the florist shop. They had always lived basically hand to mouth, and paycheck to paycheck. It had been how Chris and Ashlyn were raised as well. Chris hated accepting any kind of financial assistance from anybody, especially his kid sister. He barely tolerated it when Tammye and Carol stepped in with an assist every once in a while. The Harris family understood. It was a matter of pride and they all shared that same sensibility. If their roles had been reversed, Ashlyn would react the same way her brother did when his sibling tried to give him money or pay for things for his kids.

“He doesn’t need a fancy new computer” Chris’ stern voice replied. “The one he has now works just fine.”

“Bubba, listen” Ashlyn took a breath and dove in, knowing she was going to have to fight hard to win that debate. “Yeah, his laptop now is fine. It’s great. And I know you worked your butt off to buy that for him. But if he’s gonna go to college and become a mechanical engineer, then he’s gonna need a different computer. I looked it up. There are special programs they need to be able to run and they need a faster processor...”

“He doesn’t know what he wants to do yet” Chris cut her off with an exasperated sigh. “You and Beth think he’s got some whole thing planned out, well here’s a newsflash for both of you – he has no clue what to do with his life. All he’s interested in now is girls and skateboards and cars. That’s it. And when he wakes up from that sometime after graduation, he’s going to work on cars. He wants to be a mechanic, and he’ll be a good one.”

“I know he’ll be a good mechanic Chris” the keeper bit back her frustration and tried her best to stay calm and rational. “But why not help him learn to be something even better?”

“There you go again” Chris spat out angrily. “You’re always shitting all over us and how we do things. Nothing’s ever good enough for you, is it?”

“Hey, don’t go putting words in my mouth like you always do. I say one thing and you get mad and then you have a tantrum and act like a big whiny baby...”

“Yeah, that’s right. We’re too simple down here to have conversations the right way. Don’t mind us backwoods folk...”

“Oh shut the fuck up, would ya?!” Ashlyn yelled into the phone. “Do you hear yourself? You sound like an idiot. And I KNOW you’re not an idiot so don’t even go there!”

“Where would you like me to go then? You just told me I’m too dumb to talk to, and that my kid being a mechanic isn’t good enough either” he yelled back. “You can fuck right off Ash!”

The argument escalated to the point that they were both glad they weren’t in earshot of anybody else. Finally, after 10 more minutes of griping back and forth, Chris hung up and then ignored the next four calls that came in rapid fire from his sister. It wasn’t until later that same night, Beth and Ali coaxed the two combatants to join them on a Facetime call. The two in-laws did most of the early talking, checking in on everybody and getting updates on all the kids and grandparents. Then Beth cleared her throat and gave her husband a hopeful but wary gaze before bringing up the subject of Johnny Harris’ future.

“So, Chris told me about the new computer you guys want to give Johnny for his birthday” she began bravely. She chose not to reveal that she and Ali had been conducting their own talks about the very same subject. The Harris pride was in full play there and even Ashlyn was laboring under it. “First of all, thank you for even thinking about being so generous with the gift...”

“Well he’s our godson Beth” Ashlyn interrupted with a smile that carried the weight of disappointment in it. “We’re always gonna try and do a little extra for him. That’s what we’re here for. That’s part of the gig.”

“Just like you guys do with Drew” Ali added quickly, hoping to help shape the next part of the conversation and avoid an immediate shouting match. “That autographed baseball you got him for his birthday is his most prized possession” she beamed, happy to be able to speak truthfully.

Chris had spent an entire day at the Minnesota Twins’ spring training facility in Fort Meyers, Florida that March to get an autograph for Drew. Chris and Beth were Drew’s godparents and they wanted to go above and beyond for Drew, just like Ashlyn and Ali wanted to do for Johnny. Drew’s favorite baseball player, one of the best shortstops in major league baseball, played for the Twins and Chris knew he had to get that autograph. 

“Yeah?” Chris asked, curiosity piqued and face just a bit more relaxed at the news. “He really likes it?”

“Bro, he loves that thing” Ashlyn chuckled and grinned. “He’ll never admit to it, but I think he talks to it” she laughed. “I swear I heard him say goodnight to it the other night.”

They all laughed and enjoyed a brief, tension-free moment.

“That’s great to hear” Beth smiled and patted her husband’s forearm next to her on the dining room table. They exchanged a quick grin and the big man looked happier than Ashlyn had seen him in a while.

“Our kid is pretty simple right now” Ali shrugged and offered her own easy grin. “He just turned 15 and his biggest thing is making sure he gets to the pizzeria on time for work” she rolled her eyes but it was impossible to miss the love in them. “When he starts looking at colleges and goes into his senior year of high school, then I’m sure we’ll be talking about different things. Things like specialized computers and future careers...”

“And if he was good with engines like Johnny is, and I told you he was going to go work in a garage as a mechanic” Ashlyn took the intro her wife gave her and delivered her lines with a steady but calm voice, “I hope you’d tell me that he should think about something even more challenging than that...”

“Jesus” Chris closed his eyes and exhaled loudly as his face started to get red and his jaw clenched.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a mechanic” Ali nodded at her wife and looked quickly at Beth for help keeping the train on the rails. “Nobody’s saying anything like that. Just to be crystal clear.”

“No, definitely not. We know that” Beth sounded nervous but was encouraged by her husband’s lack of outburst so far. She did her best to keep things that way. “Don’t we honey. We know that’s not what anybody’s saying.”

But Chris didn’t say anything when he opened his eyes. His jaw was still set and Ashlyn knew it was taking every bit of his self-control to stay there in the conversation with them. She was also mindful of the fact that he was probably showing such restraint because, at least in part, of his past difficulties with Ali. It hadn’t been that long ago when his mere presence made the brunette uncomfortable in her own home. Ashlyn and Chris had made peace with the frightening events of that Thanksgiving nightmare but it had taken Ali a lot longer to get past that night and the trauma her brother-in-law caused. Chris had been working hard to repair the relationship with Ali and Ashlyn knew this was another example of it.

“Yeah” he nodded, his face still hard and his lips a grim line as he struggled to control his temper.

“If we give him this laptop, this computer that can run the big programs he’ll need if he decides to take engineering classes” Ashlyn paused and took a quick, hopeful breath before going on, “then maybe he’ll try a couple of those classes. Maybe it’ll turn out that he’s good at that too and then maybe he’ll start to believe that he’s smart enough to do something bigger and better.”

There was a heavy, anxious moment of silence then. Ashlyn gave her brother the most loving look she had in her arsenal, sincerely hoping to convey that she was coming at this from a supportive, non-judgmental place. Ali and Beth looked at each other and then at their spouses and then back at each other again, both too afraid of ruining the moment to say anything. Chris stared at Ashlyn and lowered his eyes to his own big hands on the table in front of him a couple of times. It seemed like he wanted to say something but the words just weren’t there. He swallowed hard and the keeper wondered if it had been petty, harsh words or softer more accepting ones that had tried to come out of his mouth. She optimistically chose to believe the latter and then spoke again. 

“Do you remember when Gramps would come home, late at night, after working a 14-hour highway detail?” she asked, her eyes trained on her brother’s and her voice more emotional than she expected. When she got the silent nod in return, noting how Chris’ face softened instantly at the memory, she spoke again, her voice soft but intense. “He’d be filthy and sweaty, covered in a day’s worth of grime from laying asphalt on a 10-mile stretch of highway in 100 degree heat. Do you remember that Bubba?”

“I sure do” Chris nodded again, a small, sad smile on his big face. “He’d tell us to go back to bed because it was 11pm but he’d always let us stay with him until Gram came downstairs to get him some dinner” his smile grew as he spoke and remembered the two most important people in their lives back then. “Man, did he smell bad” he laughed softly, his eyes shining bright.

Ashlyn joined him with her own high, soft laugh.

“Took him two hours to get to the site, then he worked 14 hours, then he drove back home two more hours. And I never heard him complain once, did you?” she asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer.

“No” Chris shook his head slowly and exhaled again. “No I did not.”

“I remember the time he and Dad fought about it though. Damn. Didn’t see Gramps more angry than that very often.”

“Oh yeah, that was something, wasn’t it?” Chris’ eyes went wide at the recollection.

“Dad came over to the house in one of his better times” Ashlyn looked towards Ali and Beth and offered a quick explanation while Chris rubbed his face with both hands and sighed again. “He wanted Gramps, his dad, to know that he was gonna get his shit together, for real this time” she rolled her eyes because it had been far too early in the family history for Mike Harris to get clean and sober and all four of them on that Facetime call realized it. “Anyway, Gramps asked him what his plan was and Dad told him he was gonna go to work for the town DPW” she shook her head and whistled low. “Gramps didn’t like that one bit.”

“But, why?” Beth asked. 

“Gramps ripped Pop a new one that night” Chris took over the story. He fixed his sister with an unflinching gaze that Ashlyn met and held. It was hard to know exactly what the two siblings were saying in between all the words, inside that look that only two people who had gone through what they had gone through could ever understand. But Chris’ face changed as he spoke. It became softer and gentler and then it got stiff as he fought back tears towards the end. “I’ve never seen Pop look more ashamed than he did that night. Bash and I...we sat on the stairs, a couple of steps down from the top, as far as we could go without getting caught listening in.”

“I’m glad he didn’t see us that night” Ashlyn added solemnly. “Not sure he would’ve come back from his kids seeing his father take him down like that.”

“What did Gramps say?” Ali asked, intrigued beyond belief at the story she had never heard before.

“He told Pop he was disappointed. And then when Pop started to kinda defend himself a little bit, Gramps just yelled at him. Told him he didn’t work his body to the bone all those years, repairing the big department trucks, picking up roadkill, cleaning up after car accidents, slinging asphalt, and all the rest of the hard, dirty work he’d done his whole damned life just so his own son would come home one night and tell him he was gonna go do the same goddamned thing” Chris paused. “I think that’s what made him so mad. The fact that Pop was proud of it. He really thought Gramps would be proud of him too.”

“I think you’re right” Ashlyn agreed softly, watery eyes still locked on her big brother’s.

“But just to make sure Pop didn’t miss his point” Chris continued, “Gramps yelled at him and told him he was supposed to do something better than that. That he was supposed to BE something better than that. Something better than what Gramps was. Otherwise, what was the point? What the hell had he worked so hard for if Pop wasn’t gonna at least try and be better than his father was.”

They were all quiet again while Chris rubbed at his eyes and Ashlyn sniffled just a bit. Ali and Beth weren’t sure if this had been a breakthrough or a step backwards and they sat there anxiously wondering which way they would go next.

“That’s all I’m trying to say Bubba. What Gramps told Pop that night. Hell, it’s what you told me when I got into UNC...”

“I know” he interrupted with a clipped reply. He wasn’t being difficult. He was trying to speak through a throat that was closing up around so many emotions. “I told you I was proud of you for finding a way out, and I meant it.”

“Did you?” Ashlyn’s voice cracked as a tear snuck down her cheek.

“I did. I swear I did Bash. And...” he sucked in a sob and held his breath for a few seconds, fighting for control. “I don’t wanna be like Gramps was that night. I don’t wanna have my son come to me like Pop did that night and have to say all that to him” another sob escaped and he buried his face in his hands to stop anything else from being exposed in that raw moment.

“I know, I know” Ashlyn nodded and bit her lip as she fought more of her own tears. “You’re a good dad, a great dad. I know you want what’s best for your kids. That’s what we all want, right? We all want our kids to be better off than we are, no matter what that looks like for all of us. I know. I know that’s what you want too. You don’t have to say it Bubba. I know.” 

Ashlyn took a breath and blew it out, then another one, then another one. Chris finally lifted his tearful face up again, eyes red and cheeks hot.

“I can’t help him with college. I can’t...I don’t know how to make that happen” he finally admitted as his big shoulders slumped and his face fell and his eyes dropped again.

“Well, lucky for you, they have guidance counselors to help with that” Ashlyn replied sincerely. She was tempted to tease him, because that’s what their dynamic had always been, but she knew better. This was a particularly sensitive subject and she just couldn’t bring herself to make him feel even a little bit bad about it, even though he had been a jackass earlier in the day over the phone. “And, if it’s ok with you guys, both his godparents can talk to him about it too.”

The two siblings nodded and blinked at each other with small hopeful smiles on their faces. Their mannerisms were so similar it was like watching somebody look in a mirror. Chris stole a quick glance at his wife, who nodded approvingly, and then turned back to his sister.

“We’d really appreciate that” he finally said, and then added with more confidence and absolutely no shame, “we’d like that a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about the Dash making it to the Final?! I like the Dash a lot, but I don't love them. I love Kristie Mewis with all my heart though so I'm very excited for her. Just about to turn on the Chicago v Sky Blue game now too. I genuinely like all 3 of the final 3 teams. Chicago is my favorite of them though. I hope for some more goals. Come on goals!


	5. Periods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note about the flow of the chapters - I wanted to focus on similar topics moreso than chronology when formulating chapters this time. So, for example, events in this chapter take place from April (two different stories retold by Ali) to the first weekend in June. I've already written about June events twice before in previous chapters (Bunker Hill Day chapter, and Josie's birthday chapter) for thematic reasons. Sorry if it's confusing to read.

Two of the biggest birthdays of the summer were definitely Sydney and Ali’s. They turned 50 in May and July respectively, and, along with their good friends from middle school – Liz and Erica, college – Carm and Jessie, and adulthood – Molly Cross, who were also turning 50, they celebrated by spending a weekend away together. The same 7 women had celebrated their 40th birthdays similarly at a beach house down on the southern coast of Rhode Island. This time it was a 3-day weekend up at a beach house on the ocean in Maine that Molly’s family had been visiting for decades. The 50-year olds’ birthdays were spread throughout the year with 3 in May, 1 in July, 2 in September, and 1 in October, so they just picked a weekend that worked well for everybody – the first weekend in June.

They had already been together for Sydney’s huge surprise party on her actual birthday weekend, back on May 7th. Dom had pulled out all the stops and thrown his wife a big, raucous party with a private room at a popular dance club in Boston. It had been a ton of fun but it had literally knocked most of them on their ass for the next couple of days afterwards. There was no denying it so most of them didn’t even bother to try – their 50-year old bodies didn’t recover from a night of drinking and dancing like their 30- or even 40-year old bodies used to.

The weekend away in June was much more low-key but still tremendously fun. They all made the 90-minute drive up to Old Orchard Beach together in two cars Friday afternoon. They kicked the weekend off right by hitting a couple of bars on the main strip of the touristy beach town that night. They ate crappy bar food, drank way too much and even danced at the only bar they could find with some semblance of a dance floor. They went back to the rental house and did the responsible things they knew would help them feel human the next day: they drank a ton of water, took ibuprofen, washed their faces, and brushed their teeth. 

They splurged on food, eating out every single meal of the weekend and not giving one single fuck about it. They were older and wiser now, and the moms in the group – Ali, Sydney, Erica, and Molly, pushed hard for a no chores weekend of complete relaxation. Nobody wanted to wash dishes, no matter how delicious the meal one of them made. And nobody wanted to cook either, for that matter. They wanted to hang out, be comfortable, relax and enjoy each other’s company. Two whole days of not having children pestering you for something every minute of every day felt like absolute heaven to the moms. Even Liz and Carm and Jessie, the childless among them, could appreciate how much that meant to their friends.

They weren’t lazy though and they didn’t want to simply lounge around the beach house all the time either. Nobody was looking for a real workout, but they spent most of both Saturday and Sunday doing something together. Early June was usually lovely weather in New England – you didn’t worry about being cold like you did still even in May, and you didn’t worry about being too hot like you did during the rest of the summer. The temperature was usually in the low 70’s most days and down to the low 50’s at night. It was the kind of day where you could wear shorts and t-shirts but you might want to walk in the sun to get some warmth if it was morning time. Jeans and sweatshirts kept you warm for the morning walks on the beach but you probably only needed the sweatshirt for your evening stroll. And only the heartiest of the hearty swam in the cold Atlantic Ocean in early June. The water temperature was still a frigid 50 degrees and the faint-hearted could barely tolerate going in up to their knees. The birthday group walked on the beach and strolled up and down the main strip where all the touristy shops and restaurants were. 

There was a competitive round of mini-golf on Saturday afternoon with heavy penalties for performance. The bottom four scores had to buy dinner that night for the top three scores. But even more important than that were the bragging rights. This group of friends were loyal and tight and ruthless when it came to roasting each other when such times arose. The thing that made it work, the thing that kept them close even though they didn’t physically see each other very much anymore, was the fact that they had a long history of being there for each other, through thick and thin. Even Molly, who was the newest member of the group, had been a part of things for almost 15 years by then. Ali, Sydney, Liz, and Erica went all the way back to middle school and Ali and Sydney back to elementary school.

The only thing they stocked the house with that weekend was alcohol, coffee, snacks, and ice cream. Just because they weren’t bar hopping every night didn’t mean their plans didn’t include a lot of drinking. Saturday night after they returned from dinner the group changed into their comfiest joggers and sweats and assembled around the fire pit on the back deck of the beach house. They had talked about going down onto the sand and digging a fire pit there instead, but they talked themselves out of that idea quickly. Nobody wanted to dig the pit or lug the firewood or deal with any of that extra work. There was a perfectly good fire pit, more accurately described as one of the store-bought fire bowls that were designed specifically for deck usage, just waiting for them already. It was so close to the kitchen and the bathroom and there was even a good supply of firewood already stacked nearby as well.

They indulged in fine chocolate and ice cream and other sweets they had brought back from the shops along the way home from dinner. Jessie made her margaritas which were still the best any of the women had ever tasted, and they relaxed on deck chairs and chaise lounges with pillows and got comfortable for the rest of the night. They laughed and talked and cried as they shared stories of their lives. They talked about their kids and their parents and their husbands and their wives and their siblings. They talked about successes and setbacks and challenges and injustices. They laughed and listened and loved each other as they bonded again, strengthening their already formidable friendships.

In the 10 years since Carm and Kacey’s wedding up in NH, there had been some major changes in the women’s lives. Four of the five marriages were still very strong and healthy, Erica’s shocking divorce the only outlier. The pharmaceutical sales rep and her daughter Maisy were doing just fine on their own, but Erica’s friends worried about her lack of any sort of love life. It wasn’t healthy and, more importantly, Erica deserved to have someone who loved her. But she steadfastly held her solitary ground, explaining that her kid and her job came first, followed by her sister’s family. Then, if she could find the time and the energy, she might think about dating again. 

Jessie and her longtime, on-again off-again boyfriend Everett were still doing the same mind-boggling back and forth dance that defined their decades long relationship and baffled their closest friends. It was easy to blame Everett for being too immature to make a commitment and stick to a promise, but Jessie seemed to get cold feet just as quickly as he did. Her friends could see that. They both still kept their own condos for God’s sake, neither willing to give up all of their independence for anybody. For whatever strange reason, their odd relationship worked for them. Except for those times, maybe 2 or 3 times a year, when it didn’t. Then they would uncouple for a month or so before getting back together again, unable to exist for too long without one another.

Liz, the long-suffering, constantly single member of the group of friends, was finally engaged to be married. The Fidelity executive had felt like the odd woman out in their group of friends ever since Ali had met and fallen for Ashlyn back in 2015. It had been a long 19-year span of being the only single friend in the group and Liz was excited and relieved to join the rest of her friends in couplehood. Liz had always been closest with Erica, but when she got married Liz and Ali became closer. Carm found Kacey shortly after Ali found Ashlyn, and Liz was still alone. She was one of the most accomplished women in their group, receiving promotions and accolades at work faster than any of the rest of them. She toyed with the idea of having a baby on her own but talked herself out of it after watching Erica’s marriage dissolve and getting a good look at what being a single working mom was really like. As things came full circle again, Liz and Erica’s friendship deepened and Auntie Liz was one of Maisy’s favorite people. The group of friends was worried though, that their lonely friend might be settling for someone who didn’t really deserve her, just to avoid being alone. 

“I don’t know, maybe I am settling” Liz sighed that night on the deck as they sat around the fire and drank wine and margaritas. Starting at the 10 position on a clock, Molly and Carm shared a love seat deck chair, then Sydney and Erica shared a similar seat, then came Jessie and Ali both sitting in solo chairs across from them. Liz sat in the chair closest to the house, the sliding door right behind her, with Ali to her right and Molly to her left. They were close together and could reach the women next to them easily if moved to do so. “I mean, I really do love him...I think.”

Nobody was sure what to say to that, but they were all eager to help their friend. They exchanged anxious looks and waited for Liz to say something else. It was only 9:30pm and the deep, heavy conversation topics had already weighed them down. They had started with more fallout from Erica’s divorce – Tom, her ex-husband who had decided after Maisy had been born that he wasn’t interested in being a father after all, was currently trying to work his way back into Erica’s life. Eight years after their divorce. He had made it clear that he didn’t want to be a father to Maisy but was hoping that now that the girl was older and required less of him he might be able to win his ex-wife back. The group had sounded off on what an asshole Tom was for even letting such idiotic thoughts come out of his mouth at all. Erica was upset at herself – she viewed this latest bad behavior as more evidence that she had made a disastrous choice of husband in the first place. As soon as they had finished that conversation, Liz had brought up her own doubts about her own fiancé.

“Liz honey” Sydney finally spoke when nobody else had the courage to. Her voice was softer than any of them expected it to be but her words were clear. “If you don’t know for sure that you love him, or that you’re not settling, then don’t fucking do it. Just...don’t do it” she focused intensely on Liz’s face across the fire and left no doubt about how serious she was. “My mom’s been single for, Jesus...44 years” her face registered shock and the rest of the group gasped and groaned with her. 

“But what about that guy she sees though...?” Carm asked in confusion. 

“Oh he doesn’t count” Sydney rolled her eyes. “She keeps him around for when she gets horny” she laughed. “But that’s about it. He’s just there so she doesn’t have to go to a bar and pick up some rando every once in a while.”

“Soooooo romantic...” Erica teased lightly, not sure which way the mood was going. Everybody giggled though, even Liz.

“The point is” Sydney raised her eyebrow at Carm to tell her not to interrupt her again, and then turned her attention back to Liz, “she says all the time, even now, that she’d much rather be on her own than be with somebody just to be with somebody.”

“Being with someone isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be either” Jessie added with a bit of bite. She and Everett weren’t together at that particular moment in time and she was enjoying her singlehood. “You should...”

“Oh don’t you dare tell me I should be grateful for being on my own” Liz cut her off with a snarky dismissal. “You pretend to be single a few times a year but go right back to Ev because YOU GUYS ARE BASICALLY MARRIED TOO” she leaned forward and pointed for emphasis. “It’s just some weird marriage where you live separately for a few weeks at a time...”

“Whoa, what the hell?” Jessie shot back defensively, her cheeks pinkening at the harsh rebuke and even harsher description of her relationship.

“What the hell is right” Liz continued, her normally shy and quiet demeanor taking a backseat. “I turned 50 last month and I’ve been alone for almost my entire adult life. None of you has any fucking clue what that feels like so just save it” she huffed, anguish in her eyes.

“Liz...” Sydney started to speak again but didn’t get very far into her attempted apology.

“No, don’t” Liz shook her head as her face crumbled. “I know you’re trying to help but...it’s not helpful. It just fucking hurts” she sighed and took a deep breath. “And I know I’m the one who brought it up, and I’m sorry. Just forget I said anything, ok?” she looked beseechingly at the women who knew and loved her the best. “Please?”

Ali looked at Erica for guidance on how to proceed. Erica was the closest to Liz and she nodded back at the brunette, letting her know that it was ok to let the subject drop for now.

“We just want you to know that we love you babe” Ali spoke up and reached over to squeeze Liz’s arm. “When you’re ready to talk more about it we’ll listen. Just listen.”

Things moved on to more frightening subjects like the declining health of their parents which was something they could all relate to. Then the natural progression of things turned the conversation to the myriad of changes their own aging bodies were going through. They shared stories about some of the symptoms they’d been experiencing – Sydney, Erica, and Ali had the most - and then glared playfully at Molly and Carm who hadn’t noticed any changes in their own bodies just yet. As Ashlyn had suspected, Sydney was indeed struggling through perimenopause as well, even more than Ali was. It was just like puberty for the coach. She had always been an early developer and being the first of their group to face menopause wasn’t entirely unexpected. Ali’s mouth dropped open.

“You’ve been holding out on me!” she yelled and threw a wadded up napkin at her best friend across the fire. She was genuinely annoyed and more than a little hurt. “What the hell?!”

“What?” Sydney shrugged, looking more sad than sorry though. “My body is literally falling apart. Sue me if I didn’t feel like talking about it.”

Ali knew that the coach had been struggling with the way her body had been aging for several years. Sydney had confided in her about almost all of it and the brunette had been a good listener. She answered honestly, as she and Sydney had promised to do for each other no matter what, and tried to help her bestie find solutions for her sagging breasts and expanding backside and multiplying laugh lines. Ali had been so wrapped up in her own changing body that it hadn’t occurred to her that Sydney had stopped talking about hers as much. And the coach’s subdued, sorrowful response just then only confirmed it. The brunette felt terrible. She had that sinking feeling in her gut that she had been a bad friend to Sydney so far that year. She hated that fucking feeling. She hadn’t felt it in a while, and she had hoped to never feel it again. But here she was. Fuck.

“Boo boo, your body doesn’t look like it’s falling apart” Ali replied, her voice tender and kind. “Does it really feel that way to you?”

The others knew to give the two best friends a few minutes to work this kink that had come up between them out before joining in again. They sipped their drinks and stared into the fire, watching and waiting for the resolution that they all knew would happen quickly. Everybody talked about how great Ali’s marriage was to Ashlyn and how great Sydney’s was to Dom, but the real rock-solid relationship was the one between the two women who had been best friends since they were 6 years old. That sturdy, unshakeable friendship was at the foundation of what made their other relationships work in the first place. There would be no Ali and Ashlyn without Sydney and Ali, just as there would be no Sydney and Dom. 

Sydney took a deep breath and kept her own eyes on the fire. “Sometimes it sure does.”

Ali let a beat go by, still processing her hurt feelings but trying to be there for the coach in her rare moment vulnerability.

“I know the feeling” Ali sighed. “Hey” she raised her voice a little, trying to get Sydney to meet her gaze. “Hey” she repeated, a bit more forcefully.

Sydney looked up and raised one eyebrow just a bit.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you about it sooner...” Ali said. She could have explained her absence by talking about how she had freaked out about Ashlyn’s breast cancer scare, but she knew it wasn’t a good enough excuse. Hell, Sydney had gone through a couple of her own biopsies over the years and had still been able to be there for Ali too. Instead, she was mature and honest and her voice was sincere and full of apology and love. “I guess I was wrapped up in myself again. I’m sorry bb. Can you forgive me?”

The two friends blinked at each other for a minute across the 6’ circle.

“For what? Nothing to forgive” Sydney gave a small smile but all seven women knew the two besties were going to continue that conversation later, in private. As punishment, the coach brought up something she knew Ali wanted to keep private. “God, this got so serious tonight” Sydney sat up and finished her margarita with a flourish. “We need to change the vibe up in here, right the fuck now. Als, why don’t you tell everybody about your ‘accident’ at the marathon? That’s a funny story that everybody’ll love!”

The whole group perked up, refilling their drinks and laughing in anticipation, happy to change subjects and hoping to get the night going in a more playful direction once and for all. Ali’s jaw dropped and she stared at Sydney who returned the look with a challenging smirk. The brunette knew that this was payback for not being as present for Sydney as she should have been. She took her punishment because she knew she deserved it. Ali nodded at her best friend and let a smile fill her face as she fought back embarrassment at the thought of the story she was about to relay. Here goes nothing...

“You guys will not believe this...” she began, her eyebrows up high and her face animated. “So, when I tell you that perimenopause makes your body do whatever the fuck it feels like, I am not fucking kidding you.”

“Wait, did you shit your pants in public or something?” Carm asked and made everybody laugh out loud.

“Oh Jesus, if we’re gonna talk about this kinda shit I need another drink” Erica stood up and grabbed the pitcher.

“No! I didn’t...do that, but something else” Ali blushed and closed her eyes, mortified. “God...” she looked at Sydney and was relieved to see genuine love and happiness on her face again. Nobody ever had her back when it came to talking about hard things like Sydney did. Even if it had been she who had put Ali up to it in the first place. And Ali had always drawn strength and courage from her bestie. Always. “Ok, fine...but this doesn’t leave this deck” she cocked her eyebrow and looked at each of the other women, unwilling to continue with her story until she had received reassuring nods from each of them.

“But we were almost all there with you” Molly frowned as she settled back in her seat, fresh drink on its way to her lips. “How the hell do we not already know this story?”

“Because my wife is an angel, and a devil” Ali laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Ha! That’s perfect” Sydney grinned. “So freaking true too.”

“Alright, alright, let’s hear it!” Liz urged, finally coming out of her funk too.

It was the last bit of encouragement Ali needed. If her telling an embarrassing but funny story about herself could make her friends happy and take their minds off of the heavy things they’d been talking about, then she would find a way to do it. Gulp.

“So, I don’t know, my period’s been really crazy all year, back to last year too really” she began with some background. “I skip a month entirely. Then I’ll bleed for just, like, two days and be done. Then other times I get it and it’s like Niagara fucking Falls. No joke” the alarmed looked on her face told everyone how serious she was. 

“Yeah, but not just really heavy like you’re used to, like SUPER geyser heavy” Sydney added for clarification. “I’ve had it happen too.”

“Me too” Erica agreed. “You stand up and it’s like somebody turned a vacuum cleaner on underneath you or something” she giggled and then groaned, covering her blushing face.

“Exactly!” Ali nodded enthusiastically, relieved that she wasn’t alone in her experience. “So I started bringing panty liners and tampons with me now, all the time. Like, I don’t leave home without them” she chuckled. “You all might wanna take notes now” she teased the women who hadn’t had the pleasure of those experiences yet.

“Oooh, let me just get my pad and pencil” Carm joked, holding a pretend pencil in her free hand and pretending to lick the tip of it and get ready to write. “Ok, go ahead...”

“Well you know how on Marathon Monday we all travel as light as possible...” Ali continued as they all nodded in agreement. “So I wore a panty liner even though I didn’t have my period, just in case” she shrugged. “Better safe than sorry. And that was all I brought.”

There were more nods and murmurs of agreement.

“Everything was fine until almost 10:30am. We were getting ready for the last wave of runners to leave the starting line and come our way” she referenced the favorite spot near the beginning of the marathon route where she and her friends had volunteered for years. They collected all of the items of clothing that the runners shed and bagged them up to be donated to charity and their favorite spot was at the 1 mile mark with the house that blasted the ‘Rocky’ theme as each wave of runners passed by. “I squatted down to tie my sneaker and when I stood up again...all of a sudden whoosh” she stood up to act it all out, making everybody howl with laughter. “It was like the Hoover fucking Dam exploded!”

“But, you felt it right?” Jessie asked, incredulous.

“Of course I felt it” Ali made her eyes wide and let the alcohol in her system guide her through the rest of her performance. “And I figured the panty liner had taken care of it, like it usually did.”

“Uh oh...” Molly laughed.

“Yeah, well there wasn’t much I could do about it anyway. I’m standing on the side of the road in Hopkinton, a mile away from the porta-potties at the starting line...”

“Oh God...” Liz groaned through more laughter.

“Tell them what you were wearing” Sydney encouraged through her own gleeful cackle.

“Right!” Ali’s eyebrows went up again and she used her hands to display her outfit for that day, like Vanna White. “It was hot that day, remember?” she looked at her friends who nodded in agreement. “And you know how hot I always get...”

“You were probably already sweating at 7am weren’t you?!” Erica teased.

“You know it” Ali laughed. “So I wore my khaki shorts because I needed some pockets...” she explained unnecessarily because they had all volunteered at the marathon over the years and understood exactly how valuable pockets were when you weren’t allowed to bring any bags on the course. “And that cute ‘Boston Strong’ tank they came out with a couple of years ago. And I had already shed and donated an old Breakers fleece an hour earlier when it started to get hot.”

“What a day NOT to be wearing something black!” Carm’s jaw dropped. “You couldn’t have planned it worse.”

“But that’s the thing” Sydney interjected, “you can’t ever plan for any of this stuff. It just fucking happens! Just wait” she gave Carm a knowing wink. “You’ll see.”

“I move to the back of the group, you know, to try and discreetly assess the situation...” Ali rolled her eyes and giggled with embarrassment. “Everything seemed ok. I mean...it didn’t feel like anything was where it shouldn’t be...”

“The panty liner did its job” Molly nodded. “Hallelujah!”

“But if that was the case then we wouldn’t be listening to this story right now, would we?” Sydney wagged her eyebrows and laughed again.

“The point is, I THINK everything’s ok. So I go back to the front so I can see the runners coming up and cheer them on. I’m clapping and shouting but playing it safe – I’m not jumping up and down anymore or anything like that” Ali chuckled. “Nothing on my lower body is moving, just to be safe.”

“Man, I would have just stuck to the back of the group” Erica shook her head. “You’re so much braver than me” she gave Ali an admiring smile.

“Well I should have been smart like you, E” Ali replied with a grimace. “Sure enough, right after the next wave moved through and we were getting ready to go out onto the course to collect the few clothes that hadn’t already been shed, Ash tugs my arm and pulls me back.”

“Of COURSE she had her eyes on your ass and saw what was going on before you even realized there was a problem. Didn’t she?!” Jessie howled with laughter at such a perfect example of Ashlyn’s infatuation with her wife’s butt. “Didn’t she?!!”

The whole group erupted in laughter, finding the humor in the embarrassing story.

“You know she did” Ali blushed and giggled as she took her seat again and picked up her drink. “And I’ve never been more thankful that she can’t take her eyes off of it. Never!”

“So what happened?” Liz leaned over to pat Ali’s arm, trying to make her feel better even though there was no way she possibly could.

“Well, I had a big red stain that was about the size of a quarter...” Ali made her hilarious derp face, tucking her chin down and biting her bottom lip. “And it kept getting bigger so, you know...”

“Oh Jesus...” Molly sucked in a breath. It was every woman’s nightmare, no matter how old they got. “I still don’t know how you kept it from the rest of us...”

“Her chivalrous wife gave up her own shirt so she could tie it around her waist” Sydney reminded with a genuine smile. She would always appreciate how well Ashlyn treated Ali. “Such a hero.”

“Well, yeah” Ali replied animatedly. “She gave me her button-up shirt and all she had on under it was a sports bra and her own tank, but it was one of the ones that was open almost all the way down both sides. She loves to show off her ink that way...” she chuckled. “Poor Florida girl was cold the rest of the morning just so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“Awww...”   
“Such a good wife...”  
“So sweet...”

The group replied in chorus.

“When did you get brought in on it?” Erica nudged Sydney, sitting next to her. “I’m surprised you didn’t tease the shit out of her” she nudged the coach again with a grin.

“Oh, my job was to try to find a pad or another panty liner or...anything that might work” she chuckled. “I failed” she shrugged.

“Well it wasn’t your fault” Ali gave her a grateful smile. “It was a holiday and everything was closed.”

“That’s why you were asking everybody if they had anything” puzzle pieces finally clicked together in Molly’s head as she remembered different parts of that Marathon Monday from mid-April. “It all makes sense now. Oh Al, I’m so sorry.”

“Eh, the one thing I’ve learned going through this, well, actually two things...one is that we don’t know nearly enough about perimenopause and menopause” she quirked her eyebrow sharply. “So fuck you all you male doctors who always told your women patients that the symptoms were all in our heads and that there was nothing to be done about any of it. Fuck you!” her eyes flashed. “And also, your body is gonna do what it needs to do and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it” she shrugged but kept the smile on her face, cheeks still pink from sharing such a private story. “The best you can hope for is to try to understand what might happen and then be prepared for it.”

“That sounds fucking terrible” Carm said what they were all thinking, but there was extra energy in her words as one of the two women among them who hadn’t experienced any real symptoms yet. “How do I get off of this train? I don’t want any part of that. No thank you.”

“Well, buckle up sis” Ali laughed. “The train’s a comin’!”

“Well speaking of periods...” Molly paused for effect and got everybody’s attention. “Little Miss Penny got hers for the first time last week...”

“Aw, yay Penny!”  
“Good for her!”  
“Oh you poor thing...”  
“Oooh, tell us how it happened...”

Liz, Erica, Jessie, and Carm all commented. Ali and Sydney shared their own look across the fire, smiling, and then joined in with the rest of the group as they listened to Molly’s story.

“It happened at the end of the school day, at least she thinks that’s when it happened” Molly chuckled.

Penny Cross was 12 years old and had always been a pretty easy-going kid. All three of the Cross kids were fairly mellow, and the whole household was pretty chill. Evan, the middle child, was the most uptight of the bunch but he seemed to be relatively relaxed about starting high school in September. Having a big brother to talk to about teenager things was an enormous relief to Evan. Noah and Evan were much closer, despite their four-year age difference, than Drew and Dodge Krieger were and it made both Ashlyn and Ali sad for their own boys. Penny was two years younger than Evan but had always been more confident and capable than him. She was the perfect blend of both of her mothers. She got Niki’s strength and quiet confidence; and she got Molly’s fun-loving attitude and charming personality. It made perfect sense that the girl might not know exactly when she first got her period that afternoon at school.

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell though, especially your first time, right?” Erica asked anxiously. 

“Maisy hasn’t gotten hers yet, huh E?” Ali smiled knowingly. “It’s nerve-wracking, right?”

“Seriously? It’s driving me crazy” Erica laughed. “I’ve done everything I can to make sure she’s ready. We’ve talked it through a million times and she’s got some pads in all of her different bags, and in her locker at school...I think we’re as ready as we’re gonna get.”

“That was us too, with Penny” Molly agreed eagerly. “We were so ready...and then all you can do is wait” she shrugged.

“So what happened with Pen?” Liz asked.

“She didn’t notice when she got it so she left school and got on the bus like she always does, when she’s not staying for practice or whatever, you know...”

All the moms nodded, understanding the busy schedules of their kids and how they changed from day to day and week to week. 

“When she sat down, this 7th grader, a boy a year older, sat behind her and just before her stop came up, he leaned over the seat and gave her his shirt, just like Ash did” Molly smiled brightly. “He told her to take it and when she refused because she didn’t know what he was talking about, he told her that he saw a spot on her pants when they got on the bus. He said it was ok and that he had two older sisters and he knew all about periods and stuff.”

“Are you kidding me?”  
“That’s so sweet.”  
“What a great kid.”  
“I hope she got his number...”

They all oohed and aaahed and praised the kindness and thoughtfulness of the boy.

“I cried when she told me the story” Molly admitted after a few minutes of chatting about the sweet boy. “That’s just the nicest thing...and I hope my boys would do that for somebody too.”

“Don’t we all” Sydney agreed. 

“And kudos to the boys’ parents” Liz added, looking at the moms among them with admiration. “I don’t know how any of you all do it. But I respect the hell out of you.” 

“What about Josie?” Carm asked, smiling at Ali. 

It was times like that when they were all reminded of how great Carm was with kids. She would have been an excellent mother but it just wasn’t in the cards for she and Kacey. But they were some of the best aunties in the entire world. The moms in the group knew that Carm genuinely wanted to know about their kids. She sent them birthday cards and Halloween cards and Valentine’s Day cards. She was always interested in them and not just because they came, part and parcel, with the moms who she was friends with.

“Oh geez” Ali sighed but smiled softly. “That’s a whole other story...”

The group started twittering about the brunette holding out on them and giving her a hard time until Sydney finally spoke up.

“Oh give her a break. She had a busy first half of the year” the coach came to her defense. 

Ali knew it was Sydney’s way of forgiving her for not being present enough to push harder about Sydney’s perimenopause struggles. In one evening around the firepit the two best friends had fought, forgiven each other, and moved on – all without too much fuss. 

“We’re all busy” Ali politely deflected the defense. “April was kind of a blur for me and I’m still not sure why” she paused before deciding to be completely honest. “Ash got the all-clear on her biopsy at the end of March and I don’t know...it just took me a while to get over it, I guess. I was always so prepared for what might happen if I got cancer...I never thought to get ready for her to get it. I know it’s silly...”

The group started to protest and remind her what they had told her back then – that it was ok to be freaked out and to feel whatever she was feeling. But Ali didn’t want to go back there. It was June 3rd and she really was over it now. Besides, there were women sitting around that firepit who had all gone through the same thing with their own funky mammogram results. 

“Anyway” Ali cleared her throat and returned a loving look to all 6 faces that were beaming strength and understanding at her. “Miss Josephine got her first period in April, a week before Easter” she began, flashing back to the shopping trip she, Sydney, James, and Josie had taken to the mall on Palm Sunday.

“What is taking them so long?” Sydney fumed as she and Ali waited for Josie and James to come back from a trip to the bathroom. 

There was one more store to hit in search of a new Easter dress for the redhead. Then they were all due at Niki and Molly’s later that afternoon for a four-family dinner and hangout. If Josie and James didn’t hurry up they wouldn’t have time for the last store and both Ali and Sydney knew there would be drama about it.

“I think we should just go in and text them. They’ll come find us...”

“Oh please, you know those two” Sydney rolled her eyes and chuckled. “They’re in their own world half the time. And you know she gave James her phone to carry and God knows that boy barely pays attention to his own phone, unless he’s waiting for a text from her. They’ll never see your text and you know it.”

They both laughed and then sighed in agreement. Thankfully, the kids appeared just a moment before the two moms started their own search party.

“Where have you been?” Ali asked in frustration. “We’re barely going to have time to look now...”

“Mom, something’s wrong” James spoke quietly to his mother and nodded towards Josie who was following after Ali and trying to get her attention. “She didn’t say a word the whole way back from the bathroom, and she wouldn’t look at me when I asked her if she was ok.”

Sydney could tell her son was being sincere and any doubts she had about it vanished when she saw the stricken look on Josie’s pink face.

“Al, hold up a minute.”

“What now? Don’t tell me you have to pee now too” the brunette let out an exasperated chuckle but pulled up short when she saw the serious look on Sydney’s face. “What’s the matter?”

Sydney tried to surreptitiously glance down at Josie without the redhead seeing her, but it only confused Ali.

“Spit it out Syd, we don’t have time for games...”

Sydney glared at her and gave a much more emphatic look down at Josie and then quirked her eyebrow. Ali followed suit and studied her daughter’s anxious face, surprised to see that something was definitely wrong.

“What’s going on Jose?” she lowered her voice and took a step closer to her daughter, who was still looking up at her with pleading eyes. “Are you ok?”

Both women saw Josie glance awkwardly at James and then look back up at both of their concerned faces. It was hard to interpret what she was trying to communicate and they didn’t get it until the third repeated glance.

“Oh, ok” James nodded at her. “Umm...I’m gonna just go over here...” he mumbled as he walked about ten feet away from them, blindly looking at the storefront display of a stationery store featuring fancy wedding invitations.

“What the...?” Ali was even more confused, but Sydney understood.

“She won’t say it in front of him” the coach explained the same moment she got it herself.

“Won’t say what?” Ali was getting frustrated now, and a little concerned by Josie’s odd behavior. The redhead could be dramatic at any given moment, but she was rarely too shy to talk, about anything. “Honey, what is going on?” she put her hand on Josie’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

It was another agonizing 3 minutes of stammering before the 12-1/2 year old found her voice. When she finally spoke it was practically a whisper and both moms had to lean close to her head to hear her at all.

“There’s blood...in my underwear.”

Ali’s mind spun as she tried to process where and how an injury could have occurred. She had 12-1/2 years of experience treating her daughter’s injuries and her brain had been trained well.   
First step – assess the injury, make sure it’s not getting worse, and reassure the girl that she was going to be ok.   
Second step – treat the injury, stop the bleeding, reassure the girl again, and yourself.  
Third step – determine how the injury happened, make sure it wasn’t about to happen again, continue treatment of injury.  
Fourth step – put a cute band-aid on it, reassure the girl once more, kiss it and make it better, reiterate whatever safety rule or advice was applicable to help avoid a similar injury in the future.

At no point in any of that was there time to consider that Josie might be bleeding NOT from an injury. While Ali’s brain went through the motions, Sydney spoke up.

“Oh! You think you’re getting your period honey?”

Josie looked up into Sydney’s face and nodded while her bottom lip quivered. Ali shook her head and closed her eyes when she heard the coach’s question and saw Josie’s affirmative nod. This situation required a different process altogether.

“Alright sweetheart” Ali’s eyes were wide but her smile was big and true. It was a surprise turn of events, but she was excited to share such a big moment with her baby girl. “Well, let’s go back to the bathroom” she proposed as they turned and started to walk quickly.

“But James...” Josie looked over her shoulder at the 12-year old boy who was watching them walk away from him.

“I’ll give him something to do, don’t worry about him” Sydney winked at Josie and stopped walking.

“No!” Josie yelled. “You have to come too.”

“Alright, ok” Sydney chuckled and smiled. “I’ll be right there. I’ll catch up. Go on now” she pointed and waved the mother and daughter off before turning back to talk to her son.

By the time Sydney made it to the bathroom Josie was in tears and Ali was beside herself. The brunette stood outside the stall door trying to coax the girl to let her in to help assess the situation so they could determine the next step together. It was a big bathroom with 10 single stalls and 2 larger handicapped accessible stalls at the end. There were a handful of other women and a couple of younger children in there too.

“Hey, hey, hey” Sydney tried to soothe Josie and gave Ali an eek face that the redhead couldn’t see at the same time. “What’s the crying for? Why all the drama?”

Ali rolled her eyes at her best friend, thankful that she was there to help cut through whatever impasse had sprung up between she and Josie.

“What the hell?” Sydney whispered to Ali.

“I have no idea” Ali whispered back, shaking her head in frustration. “We got here and she went in and shut the door behind her and now won’t come out and won’t let me in. Sooooo much drama.”

“Can I?” the coach asked.

“Be my guest” Ali stepped aside, at the same time offering an apologetic half-smile at the woman who was frowning at them from the sink area.

“Listen Miss thing, you’re acting like a baby and there’s no need for it” Sydney opened with a loving nickname but delivered the harsh truth in a kind voice in the next breath. “Settle down now and either come out here or let us in so we can help you. This is not a crisis. Everything’s gonna be just fine. You just need to get over yourself. I know you can do it.”

As Josie grew into her own self more and more, nobody was able to call her on her bullshit better than Sydney Rae Leroux Dwyer. Ali usually appreciated the hell out of it and was able to put her ego aside altogether when it came time for godmother to get goddaughter back on track. Somehow, this time felt different. Instead of being relieved when Josie opened the stall door, Ali felt hurt and a little jealous.

“There she is. Good job” Sydney praised the girl. “Now let’s move into one of the bigger stalls so we can take care of things” she led Josie by the hand and walked them into one of the handicapped stalls.

Ali followed behind them and got the shock of her life when Josie pulled the door closed behind her, right in the brunette’s face.

“What did you do that for?” Sydney asked, frowning at the redhead and letting her know she was displeased.

“I don’t want her in here.”

All the times Ali had wondered if Meg had really hurt Ashlyn’s feelings by going to her for help instead of the blonde were confirmed in that instant. Ali’s heart ached and the only thing that hurt more was her pride as she stood there with the eyes of strange judgy women burning holes in the back of her head. Fuck, did it hurt.

She could hear Sydney whispering to Josie, trying to convince her to change her mind and let Ali into the stall with them, and that felt even worse.

“Oh it’s alright Syd. I’ll go buy her some pads” she exhaled loudly. “Do you need new underwear too Jose?” she asked as she took a deep breath and fought the urge to cry over her hurt feelings and wounded pride.

There was more whispering.

“No, just the pads” Sydney replied. “Thanks Al.”

Ali could hear the conflict in her voice. She knew Sydney was upset with Josie but that the coach also knew she had to just suck it up for the time being to get through the task at hand. Ali’s brain knew that Sydney would chastise Josie for being a brat and for being rude to her mother. But that didn’t make her heart hurt any less.

When she returned to the bathroom hallway 15 minutes later, Ali smiled at the sight of James Dwyer leaning against the wall and staring off into space. Ali loved all three of her Dwyer godsons deeply. Cassius came first and had a special place in her heart. Maddox was the youngest but he was the one who was most like Sydney so Ali loved him a little extra just for that. But James...James might be her favorite of them all. He reminded her of both Sydney and Dom - he got the incredibly powerful loyalty and devotion that both his parents carried full portions of on their own. The way Sydney had always had Ali’s back and defended her or come to her aid all throughout their lives. And the way Dom had done the same for Sydney, in his own quiet way. James had a double dose of it and he stood there in the hallway like a dog waiting for his master. 

After Ali handed the supplies to Sydney through the stall door, she was encouraged to hear a small, tight ‘thanks mom’ coming back in return. Ali went out to the hallway to wait for the diva and her attendant to emerge.

“Could you hear her crying all the way out here?” the brunette asked James lightly, winking and giving him a smile.

“Umm...no” he shook his head as he looked up at her. “Nuh-uh.”

“Well that’s good” Ali sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. “I love her to death but she can be such a drama queen” she stated the facts that nobody would be able to argue with if they tried. “She’s lucky you’re so patient with her J” she nudged him and gave him another grin.

“Here, do you want her phone?” he held it out for Ali to take.

“Nope. She trusts you with it. You keep it for her ‘til she’s ready for it” Ali met his gaze and thought for the millionth time how handsome the Dwyer boys all were.

“Is she...is she ok?”

“Oh honey, I just assumed your mom told you” Ali put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him in for a side hug. “She’s totally fine. She’s just embarrassed, I think. She got her period for the first time this afternoon and that’s always a little stressful for us gals. But it’s perfectly normal and she’ll be just fine. I promise.”

“Oh, ok” he looked down shyly. “Mom did say something like that...but I wasn’t sure...I didn’t know...” he stopped talking when it was obvious he had no idea what else to say. He lifted his eyes and said one final thing, appreciating the brunette putting his worries to rest. “Thanks.”

“Soooooooo...you got kicked out of your own daughter’s first period moment?!” Jessie’s jaw dropped as she stared at the side of Ali’s smiling face.

“How are you this ok about that?” Erica asked. “I think my heart would be broken.”

“Well...” Ali smiled quickly at Sydney before replying truthfully, as usual, “I won’t lie, it hurt like hell” she nodded thoughtfully. “It hurt like hell for a while, to be honest.”

“But that’s what most girls do though, isn’t it?” Liz offered hopefully. “Nobody really wants to talk to their mom about it, do they?”

“No, you’re right, for the most part anyway” Ali continued. “Some girls don’t seem to mind talking to their moms about it” she smiled at Molly who had told them all about her sweet conversation the week before with Penny. “But some girls just don’t feel comfortable doing it, no matter how hard we try to let them know it’s ok and perfectly normal” she shrugged. “I’m just thankful Syd was there with us and she was ready to step up.”

They all clucked about it some more. Erica in particular was upset because she was afraid her daughter Maisy would do the same thing.

“Ok, but here’s the thing” Ali got their attention again after several minutes. “I did the same thing to Ash with Meg” she shrugged. “Kids go to who they wanna go to about different things. Ash told me that she was just glad Meg trusted me enough to talk to me about her period. That was the most important thing and she’s right.” They were all quiet for a minute, thinking hard. “And who knows E, maybe Maisy will be more comfortable talking to Auntie Liz about it when it happens? You just don’t know. But what I know for sure, having been on both sides of it now, is that the only thing that matters is that they have someone they trust and love to talk to. That’s it. It doesn’t really matter who that person is.”

It was the truth, and it sounded good, and all the friends agreed as they sat around the firepit that night in Old Orchard Beach. And as much as Ali believed it herself, because she really did believe every word of it, she could also still feel the pain from that day at the mall when Josie chose Sydney over her. Just as her heart had expanded every time a new baby joined their family, that same muscle endured bruises and stabs on a routine basis from those same babies. The heart was resilient as hell and Ali knew that from firsthand experience. But she had never had to endure such a stab before. Josie had hurt her deeply and it would take a long time for that wound to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes to all the great professional women's sports happening this weekend!! 3 WNBA games today, with 3 more tomorrow. And the NWSL Challenge Cup Championship game tomorrow too!!! I had a feeling Houston would do well. I picked them into the Final Four. And I was pretty sure Portland would struggle. I picked them to finish in last place after the preliminary rounds. But that's about all I got right!! What a crazy tournament. One thing I know for sure is that our Pride team would have flourished in this chaos!


	6. Ali's 50th Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning at the end of the chapter.   
> If I had been smarter I would have posted this yesterday on Ali's actual real life birthday, lol.   
> Oh well, enjoy!

Friday July 28th was a big day in the Krieger household. Ashlyn made sure of it. It was Ali’s 50th birthday and there was no way the blonde was going to keep things low-key. The 4th week of the Academy had just finished the day before and Ashlyn begged her wife to stay home on her birthday so she could pamper her properly. But the brunette had to go into the office because she had already spent weeks 2 and 3 coaching at The Academy and was about to spend week 5 that way too. Week 4 was the only full week she would work at the K-H office that month and she had to do the right thing.

“I promise I’ll leave at 4:00pm though” she leaned up to kiss her keeper goodbye that morning in the mudroom, looking sharp in one of her stylish suits with lots of feminine flair, “I promise.”

“You’d better” Ashlyn squinted in a half pout, half frown but then giggled softly when Ali brought their lips together for another kiss – this one longer and with a healthy dose of tongue.

“I promise” the brunette repeated as they pulled apart, eyes full of love blinking back at the woman of her dreams. “The sooner I go...”

“I know, I know” Ashlyn sighed but couldn’t keep the smile off her face, “the sooner you’ll be home again.”

“Besides, you’ll see me all next week” Ali added with a giggle and a wink. “We can’t have you getting sick of me now, can we?”

Ashlyn held the mudroom door open so her wife could make her exit, calling after her beautiful brunette. “Never gonna happen baby!”

What Ali didn’t know was that her whole family was going to the Knight-Harris office for a surprise birthday party at 2pm that afternoon. They all knew she didn’t want a big party – she had been crystal clear about that after Sydney’s big bash in early May. 

“I just want something small, just family dinner and cake” she explained back in May. “Really, that’s what I’d love for my birthday this year. Please don’t do anything big, please.”

Although it went against every fiber in her being, Ashlyn honored her wife’s request. She wanted to throw Ali an enormous party to celebrate her milestone birthday, but she kept herself in check. There was a big birthday present to give the brunette that would take the sting out of not going overboard on an extravagant birthday bash. No, it was Whitney who was responsible for the K-H party, not Ashlyn. But the lawyer had received a similar plea from Ali as well and was smart enough to keep the K-H party small and simple. Everybody at the company was invited and welcome, employees and clients alike, but they were going to stream it for those who weren’t in the area that day too.

“You guys!” Ali exclaimed with a blush and a nose-crinkling smile when she hurried into the 1st floor lobby to meet an urgent drop-in prospective client who wasn’t actually there. After getting over the shock of the shouted ‘surprise!!’, she found more words. “I was having a heart attack on the way down here” she laughed and let out a relieved breath. “Whew!”

Towards the end of the hour-long gathering, Whitney made her way over to the brunette with an apologetic look on her face.

“So...sorry about the party you didn’t want” she made an eek face and held a second piece of Ali’s favorite ice cream cake out as a peace offering.

“You?!” Ali’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Damn Whit, I thought I could count on you having my back for this one” she shook her head and tried to look upset but couldn’t quite pull it off. It was wonderful to see so many of her family and friends there with her colleagues from work. Ali was really enjoying her party. “It’s always the quiet ones” she chuckled as she accepted the chunk of ice cream cake. “I should have known.”

“Well if she hadn’t done it, I was going to” Sydney joined them with her trademark cackle and grin. “No way we’re not celebrating the hell out of you today boo boo. No fucking way!”

“Ohhhh, Auntie Syd!” Dodge called out the coach on her cussing as Ashlyn and the twins came up to join the three friends.

“That’s what happens when you sneak up on people” Sydney laughed without a bit of remorse.

“I’m sorry, try again Syd, have you met my son Dodge?” Ashlyn cocked her head playfully. “He’s awesome at many things, but stealth has never been one of ‘em!”

Drew and Josie were there too, of course, as were Cristina Guerrero and Lizzy Harris who were still in their 6-week soccer camp visit with their favorite aunties. All three Grandmas were there, as were Ken and Vicki, and Meg and Charlie, and even Koty, Brianna, and little Tori. Most of the 4-family group was there, with the exception of a couple of teenagers, as were several of Ali’s favorite clients. It was an odd but wonderful combination of all the different parts of the brunette’s life coming together for a couple of hours to let her know how appreciated and loved she was. 

“You ready to go sugarplum?” Ashlyn joined her wife and spoke after waiting patiently for the last group of partygoers to head back up to their offices or out to the parking lot to get back to their own busy days. 

Ali welcomed the familiar touch of the keeper’s hand on her lower back. She loved the way Ashlyn slowly rubbed her thumb up and down with just light pressure. She didn’t even think the blonde realized she was doing it. That simple touch always made Ali feel safe and loved and connected.

“See, I told you I’d leave by 4pm today” the brunette beamed at her wife with a giggle as she turned into the embrace waiting for her.

“Yes you did” Ashlyn grinned back and hugged her tight. “I never doubted you.”

“Ok, lemme go up and get my stuff and we can go home. You wanna ride with me, keep me company?” Ali asked coyly, with a flirty wink as she pulled back from the hug.

“Yes, and I’ll keep you company now too so you don’t forget to come back down” Ashlyn guided them towards the elevator across the lobby. “But we’re not going home.”

“What?” Ali turned quizzical eyes to her wife as they walked. “But family dinner...”

“You just saw your whole family AND had your ice cream cake” the keeper cut off the next objection before Ali could even raise it. “Tonight you’re mine, woman. All mine.”

“That’s pretty presumptuous” the brunette scoffed playfully as they stepped into the elevator.

“I got you baby” Ashlyn nodded cockily.

“Oh yeah” Ali played back with her own smirk. “Where are you taking me, woman? And it better be good if you’re making me miss family dinner...”

“Oh please” Ashlyn laughed as the elevator doors opened and they stepped into the 4th floor hallway. “You’re not fooling me. Romantic dinner with me at a nice restaurant in town will always win that contest...as long as nobody’s sick or anything” she added quickly, knowing full well that her wife would always put her kids first, even on her 50th birthday. Both moms would.

“Ugh, you know me so well...” Ali giggled as they got to the door to Ashlyn’s office and went inside. 

Ali was still using her wife’s office at K-H but would be officially and permanently moving into Jared Kimball’s office at the end of the year. She was tired of shuttling back and forth between her old office and Ashlyn’s office – it had been over 3 years since she went back to the K-H office full-time, and 4-1/2 years since the attack that still made it impossible for her to sit in her old office for a full day. The brunette had genuinely enjoyed being in her wife’s office, in Ashlyn’s space, which is why she had stayed there so long. But it was time. It was past time actually and she knew it. She either had to make the swap with Ashlyn once and for all or figure something else out. Luckily, an expansion of Knight-Harris would prove to be the perfect impetus for a permanent solution to Ali’s office problem. But until the end of the year, she was still borrowing her keeper’s space.

“Well I hope so. I’d have to be a complete idiot not to know at least some of what makes you tick by now...” she rushed into her next sentence when she saw Ali move behind the desk. “And don’t you dare sit your sweet ass in that chair” she challenged with a quirked eyebrow. “We’re leaving.”

It took almost another hour for them to leave the building, but the kids were having a lot of fun with Jared who was letting them play with some of the digital equipment he used every day. The kids all seemed to be impressed by so many people, especially work people and athletes, fawning over their mom. It had been the same at the grand opening of Ashlyn’s sports complex last summer too. The older they got, the less time the kids seemed to have for their moms – unless other people were interested in them for some reason. It was all part of growing up.

That morning at breakfast the kids had either presented Ali with a handmade birthday card themselves, or, in Drew’s case, left it on the nook table for her to find when she got there. Drew had also bought a card from one of the stores in the Loop after work that week. Another first for the maturing teen. Ashlyn didn’t even have to nag him about it. She reminded all the kids the weekend before and had been stunned when Drew replied to her next nudge about it on Tuesday that he had already bought a card and was all set. Ashlyn took them shopping so they could each buy Ali one small thing for her birthday. The keeper had a big plan for her wife’s birthday gift that was technically from herself and the kids.

“Mmmmmm...God that is soooo good” Ali closed her eyes as she savored the last bite of her lobster ravioli dinner a couple of hours later. “I’m so full, but I want more” she mumbled, her mouth still chewing the delectable entrée. “Stop me!” she chuckled. “Send help!”

“Good, I’m glad you liked it” Ashlyn smiled brightly, pleased with herself for picking a restaurant that her wife loved but that they hardly got a chance to patronize anymore. “Nothing like Giacomo’s lobster ravioli. Best in the city.”

It was true. Boston’s famous North End was full of popular, acclaimed Italian restaurants of all shapes and sizes. But tiny little Giacomo’s, where the small dining room was packed so tightly that the next table had to get up so you could pass by if you needed to leave your seat to visit the restroom, and where the line to get inside the restaurant stretched for several blocks down busy Hanover Street, made the best lobster ravioli in Boston. Hell, it was probably the best lobster ravioli in the whole Northeast, including New York City. Just ask any Bostonian.

It was a warm, humid Friday evening and the two wives walked together down the busy, boisterous street just taking in the atmosphere and the lazy summer vibe of the Italian neighborhood. There were small shops and businesses along the way but there were many apartment buildings that lined the streets as well. People of all ages lived there, many of whom were Italian and seemed like they stepped off of a Hollywood sound stage. Young urban professionals had moved into the neighborhood, which was a big reason why so many of the restaurants had taken a turn towards fine dining. But just as many older people lived there too, men and women who had raised their families already but stayed behind, in the ‘old neighborhood’ for the second half of their lives as well. Summer nights in the city had changed a lot over the years as more and more buildings were built with central air conditioning as a basic element to city dwelling. But those old apartment buildings in the North End – they were almost stuck in time. The residents sat on their stoops or in kitchen chairs on the sidewalk to try and beat the heat. There was no place in Boston like the North End.

“Oooh, can we go to Modern?” Ali’s eyes lit up as the idea popped into her head and she tugged on her wife’s arm.

“I thought you were stuffed?” Ashlyn teased and gave the brunette’s hand, wrapped around her bicep, a loving pat. They exchanged chuckles and goofy grins. “Of course we can. Can’t have birthday dinner in the North End and not get some pastry! What kind of wife do you think I am anyway?”

They crossed the street, avoiding the throng of tourists who were standing in a long line outside of Mike’s Pastry, and made their way two blocks further to Modern Pastry. They were both excellent pastry shops but Mike’s had gained popularity and the tourist crowd long ago. It was great for their business and nobody begrudged them their well-deserved success. But the locals all went to Modern as a result. There was always a line at Modern too, but it moved twice as fast because the locals who stood in it knew what they were doing and ordered much faster than the tourists across the street did. 

As Ali and Ashlyn waited in line they stood close together, despite the heat and humidity. As much as the brunette hated to be hot and sweaty, she didn’t want to be away from her keeper that night. Ashlyn chivalrously carried her wife’s suit jacket folded across her left forearm while Ali kept a loose but close grip on her keeper’s right bicep. Ashlyn bent her head down to whisper into her wife’s ear as the line moved along slowly. Neither of them was in a rush though, happy just to be enjoying their time together. People watching was always something fun for them to do. They had done many different versions of it over the years, but their favorite game was to try and determine how long whatever couple was nearby had been together. It could be a romantic couple or a work couple or a group of singles hanging out together. 

“They’ve been married for 10 years” Ali chuckled as she subtly nodded towards a man and woman getting ready to place their order, next in line up at the counter. 

Neither the man nor the woman spoke to the other more than one quick exchange. The woman patted the man’s arm twice and then replied to her dinging phone, never looking up at him again for the rest of the ordering exchange.

“Definitely” Ashlyn agreed with a big grin. “They don’t even have to discuss it. They know they’re ordering the same things they’ve been getting for their family forever.”

“And that group there” Ali nodded across the shop where the line snaked around to four young women who were technically behind them in line, “they’re...friends who are trying to welcome a newbie in.”

“You think?” Ashlyn cocked her head as she considered the group for a minute.

“Yeah, see the one in the red top?” Ali waited for her wife to nod. “She’s the newbie. See how she’s standing farther apart?”

“Hmmm...” the keeper studied the group more closely. “Yeah, and she just looked at her watch. She’s either got a hot date later or...”

“Or she’s feeling kinda left out and awkward.”

Before they could analyze too many more patrons and passersby, it was their turn to order at the counter. What started as a small, simple order of two desserts for the wives to share turned into a far more elaborate order of the kids’ favorites and second favorites. Every parent knew how to do that – place an enormous order with all the peculiarities of their children’s tastes and likes - and do it in an efficient way that was easy for the order taker to understand and follow. It made no sense to just rattle a bunch of things off that had no hope of being understood or properly provided. There was nothing worse than getting back home to find out the order was wrong. At least one kid would have a fit but sometimes two or three would get the wrong thing and chaos would ensue. No, parents learned to be patient with the order taker because it did nobody any good if they did a shitty job.

“Four cannoli: two chocolate with sweet cream and chocolate chips, one chocolate with ricotta, one regular with sweet cream and chocolate splash...” Ashlyn began the order, speaking loudly and clearly, at just the right speed. Her goalkeeping voice still came in handy from time to time.

“Oooh, and get a couple of lobster tails too” Ali added at the very end of the rest of the lengthy order that included cream puffs, pizzelle, macarons, and fruit tartes. “Charlie likes those.”

Ashlyn had already told her wife that Meg and Charlie were watching the kids that night so the brunette could relax without worrying about anything. And they both knew from experience that the younger couple would probably sleep over too. 

“She’s too stuffed for dessert but now I’m lugging three boxes of pastry home” Ashlyn shook her head and smiled as they made their way back outside to the street, dark now and in full night mode.

“Oh be quiet” Ali leaned into her wife’s side and gave her a gentle nudge as they walked along the still busy street. “It sounds like you don’t want a bite of this then after all?” the brunette held up the small chocolate-dipped cream puff that they had agreed to share on their walk back to the car.

“I never said that” Ashlyn turned on the charm, using her best puppy dog eyes and pout.

“That’s what it sounds like to me” Ali continued to tease, bringing the ice cream scoop-sized pastry to her own lips and taking a slow bite. “Mmmmmmm... so good...”

“Aww, come on baby...” the keeper pouted some more but added a giggle to it this time because Ali looked so freaking cute while she was teasing her. “Pleeeease?” she begged. “Pretty please?” she tried again after watching the brunette take another careful bite.

“Oh ok, I guess” Ali caved with a laugh when she saw the eager look on her keeper’s face. She had never been good at withholding anything from Ashlyn, ever. “Here you go.”

Ali reached up with the half-eaten cream puff, tilting it up so the delicious creamy inside didn’t spill out, and held it to her wife’s lips. It wasn’t easy to maneuver because they were still walking and Ashlyn was carrying the three pastry boxes right in front of her body, up to her chin to keep the top one from sliding around.

“Hey” Ashlyn whined when most of the cream puff hit her nose instead of her mouth. “Come on...”

“Oops, sorry” Ali giggled. “I didn’t do that on purpose, I swear.”

“Uh-huh, sure” Ashlyn rolled her eyes but giggled too. It was impossible to resist a smiling, giggling, happy Ali Krieger. “It’s all over my nose, isn’t it?” she asked, reaching her tongue up to clear the top of her upper lip off. “Yumm, that’s good.”

“Here, hold on” Ali laughed. “Stop for a sec and lemme help you.”

They didn’t want to dawdle because there were 3 boxes of creamy delicacies to get home and into the refrigerator. They would be fine in the air-conditioned Jeep for the hour long drive home but they wouldn’t last very long in the city heat. Ali stood next to her wife, turning to face her and letting other people walk past them in both directions on the sidewalk. She held the treat up and let Ashlyn take a big bite.

“Mmmm...so good” the keeper closed her eyes and let the cream puff work its magic in her mouth. She flinched when she felt the brunette’s fingers wipe the cream from the tip of her nose with another giggle. “Thanks.”

“Somebody’s gotta keep your nose clean” Ali flirted with a smirk and then a nose-crinkling grin.

“Somebody’s gotta give me that last bite so we can get the goods back home” she wagged her eyebrows. “Your birthday present is there too.”

“Well why didn’t you say so?” the brunette practically shoved the rest of the cream puff into her wife’s mouth. “Come on, let’s go” she laughed as she wrapped her hand around Ashlyn’s arm and got the pair walking again. “Make me wait all day and now all night for my present...” she grumbled playfully. “Seriously, do you not know me at all?”

Ashlyn couldn’t say anything for a minute because her mouth was full. Instead she smiled as she chewed, enjoying the brunette’s touch on her arm and laugh in her ear. The keeper turned her head and gave Ali a lopsided, lovestruck grin.

“What?” the brunette returned the look, blinking her love back with a shy but satisfied smile.

In that moment Ashlyn’s mind was flooded by a hundred different things that she loved about her beautiful brunette. It was impossible to rank them or even sort them in any kind of groups. For that moment Ashlyn didn’t feel the heat coming up off the sidewalk or the humidity hovering over everything. She didn’t hear the annoying noises of city traffic or even smell the stink of a hot city night. Everything faded far away, except for one thing, and all she felt was love.

“Happy Birthday baby. I love you.”

//

It was 10pm when they got back to the big old house that night. After sharing some pastry with Meg and Charlie, the two wives went up to their bedroom.

“Don’t forget to lock up after you let the dogs out” Ashlyn reminded Meg from the foot of the backstairs.

“I told you she couldn’t do it” the redhead laughed and Charlie shook his head.

“You win” he sighed and dropped his shoulders as he closed the fridge door. “Damn, I was really counting on you tonight” he looked sadly at Ashlyn.

“What?” she furrowed her brow in confusion.

“You’ve been telling me that for...over four years now” Meg stood up after closing the dishwasher, very near the backstairs. “Every time I’m here. Like I’m not gonna let the dogs out, or not lock the door” she shook her head as she grinned at the blonde.

“I thought she was exaggerating” Charlie added, joining them.

“It’s called being a mom” Ali defended her wife from halfway up the stairs, her voice playful but strong. “When you have kids of your own, you’ll understand” she came down two steps and tugged Ashlyn by the shoulder. “Until then, just listen to your parents.”

“Yeah, and go to bed, it’s late” Ashlyn added for good measure, knowing full well it was one of the most aggravating things a parent could tell a child and was a pet peeve of Meg’s.

“Oh my God” the redhead complained as expected. “You go to bed if you’re tired” she gave her standard reply, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “And I’ll go to bed when I’m tired. See how that works?”

“Alright, alright” Ashlyn chuckled as she followed her wife up the stairs. “Goodnight. We’ll try to keep it to a dull roar tonight...but no promises...”

“Oh my God!” Meg groaned and moved towards Charlie and the fridge at the other end of the kitchen, instinctively getting away from the idea of her moms having sex that night.

“Ashlyn” Ali giggled softly at the same time. She still got embarrassed at the idea of somebody in the house knowing they were about to have sex. But she also enjoyed the discomfort her keeper’s teasing had always caused Meg. “You’re so bad.”

“That’s not what you usually say...” Ashlyn smirked and put both hands on her wife’s hips in front of her as they got to the top of the backstairs. She held Ali back just for a second when the brunette reached for the door into the master bedroom.

“Hey, my present’s in there and I’m not waiting another minute for it...” Ali turned back to get a quick peek at her wife’s face. The big grin on Ashlyn’s face made Ali’s heart skip a beat and her excitement level soar. “Ooh, what is it?”

“Ok baby” Ashlyn gave her a hug from behind and pressed a soft kiss into her cheek. “You can open the door now, Happy Birthday...”

The master bedroom had been decorated and redecorated a few times over the years. It had been the scene for many romantic nights and had been the stage for many grand gestures. Ashlyn and Ali had both dressed the room up to transport the love of their life to a distant place or treasured memory. Sometimes even a fantasy come to life for a couple of hours of sexy role play. Nothing could ever compare to their very first official date night – the first time they ever had sex, and neither woman really expected anything to. Some nights had come close, very close, and that night, July 28th, 2034 was one of those nights.

“Oh Ashlyn...honey...this is so...how did you?... when?...oh it’s beautiful...” Ali gasped and then stammered as she stepped into the room and tried to take it all in.

The whole driveway side of the room, by Ali’s side of the bed where the fireplace was, was covered by two big, pale pink sheets that were hung from the ceiling and fell to the floor. The room was lit by several electric candles placed on both nightstands, along the low dresser at the foot of the bed, and across the dressing table just to their right, by the bathroom. Music of Ancient India played softly, the foreign but familiar sounds of the sarod, the tabla drum, and the shehnai filling the beautiful room with slow, sensual sounds. There were two vases full of flowers, one on the dressing table and one on the low dresser, both surrounded by electric candles. The bed was covered in an elaborately decorated silk bedspread with fringed pillows of different sizes. The deep red and purple pattern on a dark cream-colored background with blues and greens mixed in as accents. It took Ali a minute but finally her eyes made it all the way back to the bedroom wall, draped by those two sheets. Now that she had her bearings a bit, she was able to see more than just the sheets. She saw what was on them, the image there that brought the entire concept together for her.

The outline of one of the most famous and most beautiful buildings in the entire world jumped out at Ali. The large central dome with the finial atop it, the four smaller domes with their own smaller finials around it, and the four minarets – one at each corner of the base of the building - framing it...the iconic mausoleum of the Taj Mahal came to life right there in the master bedroom of the big old house. Ashlyn had painted a rough outline of the building on the sheets, knowing she would never be able to do it justice otherwise. She kept it simple and it was very effective.

“Do you like it?”

“Ashlyn, I LOVE it.” 

Ali wanted to turn and hug her wife properly but couldn’t take her eyes off of the art on the wall. 

“I knew you weren’t in the bathroom that whole time” the brunette shook her head and beamed as Ashlyn hugged her from behind.

“I had it all set up this afternoon” the keeper shared. “I just had to run up and turn the candles on tonight.”

They stood there quietly for another few minutes before Ali did turn and take her wife’s lips in a passionate kiss.

“Thank you babe, so much” she breathed out before kissing Ashlyn again. “I love my present. I may never leave this room again.”

“As much as I love that idea” Ashlyn chuckled and gave Ali a quick kiss, “this isn’t your present.”

“There’s MORE?” the brunette’s jaw dropped. “What could possibly be better than this? And duh, I don’t mean sex. That is definitely happening tonight, a lot” she wagged her eyebrows and pulled her wife closer.

“Mmmm...” Ashlyn grinned, her dimple appearing deeper than maybe ever before. “I can’t wait” she kissed Ali again, this time long and slow. They were both a little breathless as they pulled apart a couple of minutes later. “But I want to give you your present first.”

“Well, you’ve got my attention now” Ali replied with a smirk. “Let’s get comfortable first though” she eyed the soft, beautiful silk bed. As much as she wanted her mysterious present, she wanted to be naked with her wife even more.

They undressed each other, letting their clothes drop to the floor, leaving the work day and the heat of the hot summer night in the city behind too. They helped each other into their robes - not the fluffy comfy ones but the shorter, sexier ones they didn’t wear in front of anybody else – and climbed onto the middle of the bed. Ashlyn surprised the brunette by reaching to the nightstand shelf for her laptop and turning it on. Ali moved so she was behind her keeper, both of them facing the distinctive outline on the wall, kneeling and sitting on her heels so she could see over Ashlyn’s shoulder.

“I can’t get over how amazing this room looks Ash. I feel like we’re in India right now, looking at the Taj Mahal. You’re amazing. I’m so lucky...”

“I’m glad you like it sugarplum” Ashlyn reached behind her and gave Ali’s thigh and then butt a pat and a squeeze. “If I’d known you’d get this excited over just the room I might not have gone through with your present...”

“What? I’m so confused hon” Ali chuckled. “We’re home, we’re comfortable, I’m ready...the suspense is killing me.”

“Ok, here we go” Ashlyn pushed one last key on the laptop and then added quickly “close your eyes!”

She turned her upper body around to make sure her beautiful brunette complied and then continued talking.

“So, I know we’ve talked about our bucket lists before and we’ve crossed some things off of both of them, and added some things to them too.”

“Uh-huh” Ali nodded patiently, eyes still closed.

“Well, it’s time to cross another one off of yours baby. I wanted to take you to the Taj Mahal for your birthday, we were supposed to be there right now, tonight...”

“Ashlyn...” Ali sucked in a breath.

“But it turns out July to September is monsoon season there so...”

“What are you saying?” Ali’s voice was full of excitement and Ashlyn could feel her heart beating fast right through her back. “Are we going to see it or not?”

“Open your eyes honey” Ashlyn leaned to the side and turned so she could watch her favorite face read the computer screen in her lap. The hotel reservations and dates of travel were shown there but she hadn’t booked anything besides that. She wanted to involve Ali in the planning because she knew the brunette would love doing it.

“We are! We ARE going!! Oh Ashlyn...”

“We are, but not until October, when it’s cooler and clearer and not monsoon-y” the keeper said through a grin almost as big as the one on her wife’s animated face.

“Oh my God, is this real? You’re not teasing me are you?” Ali finally took her eyes off the laptop and focused on her wife. “I think I’ll die if this is some kind of joke...”

“Al, I would never do that to you” Ashlyn’s sincere, reverent face spoke nothing but the truth and the brunette knew it.

“Oh I’m so excited!” Ali moved the laptop towards the head of the bed and then climbed on top of her keeper, pulling her into the most heated kiss of the night so far. “Thank you babe. Thank you...”

“Well it’s not every day my queen turns 50” Ashlyn panted as she tried to catch her breath. “It’s a big birthday and you deserve the biggest present I could think of. The Taj Mahal is it.”

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect...” Ali paused. “No, wait” she got off of Ashlyn’s lap. “Get up. We need to move so I can see it, all night tonight, at all times.” She waited and watched the blonde move so her back was to the sheets on the wall, then climbed back onto Ashlyn’s lap. She slipped both their robes off and gave her keeper another kiss, this one soft and romantic and full of gratitude and love. She gently pushed her wife’s shoulders back so she would lie down, leaving Ali sitting upright and straddling her upper thighs. “There, now I can have the most beautiful view in the world...and the Taj Mahal in the background too.”

//

At 11:30pm, after an hour of birthday gift reveal and one big orgasm each, the two wives got up to get ready for sleep. They washed their faces and brushed their teeth and took their contacts out and peed and then got back onto the bed. They hadn’t discussed it but they both knew their night wasn’t over yet. Ali went to the toy chest in her closet and came back with the latest version of her favorite knobby dildo. Ashlyn’s eyes flashed with desire when she saw it.

“Mmmm sexy, you just got even sexier” the keeper smirked as her eyes darkened and she felt a jolt in her clit. She got up on her knees and got into the harness Ali tossed to her. “Get that gorgeous ass up here, woman” Ashlyn couldn’t hide her excitement if she wanted to.

As soon as the brunette came back from the bathroom a minute later, freshly washed toy in hand and sultry smirk on her face, she laid out her own plans for round two.

“You can have my ass later, maybe” she said through a husky chuckle. “But right now I’m gonna ride you...nice and slow...” she let her eyes close half way as if she was savoring another delectable bite of cream puff...”while I look at your artwork on our wall.”

Ashlyn didn’t skip a beat. She would be happy having sex with her wife however the brunette wanted it. That had never changed and the keeper knew it never would.

“Whatever you want birthday girl” she smirked back, completely turned on by the idea of fucking Ali and watching her body and face respond to every little movement and slightest shift of the keeper’s hips while she sat on top of her. “As you fucking wish...”

As the brunette waited for her wife to get the dildo into the harness, she admired the room again, gently stroking Ashlyn’s flexing bicep and strong back as she did so.

“Did you make the sheets pink on purpose?” she asked as she leaned over and pressed a kiss into her keeper’s shoulder.

“Are they supposed to be pink?” Ashlyn turned her head and gave her wife a mischievous look.

“You did do it on purpose” Ali giggled and playfully smacked her wife’s ass.

“Hey now!” the keeper laughed.

“What time of day is it now then” Ali posed her question a different way. “If this room is Agra right now?”

Ashlyn pulled her in for a long, slow kiss.

“You already know the answer” she replied, her dimple gracing her face and making the brunette smile even more as she watched it.

“Humor me.”

“It’s sunrise” Ashlyn acquiesced, more than happy to play her wife’s game. She knew Ali was wondering just how much research had gone into tonight’s setting. “The mausoleum is all white marble but at sunrise it looks pink.”

Instead of praising her wife for the correct answer, Ali captured her lips in a deep, passionate kiss that lasted until they were both panting for air. It was all the reward Ashlyn would need.

“Tell me about the flowers” Ali commanded softly as the keeper laid flat on her back across the width of the bed, her head on Ali’s side of it so the brunette could look at their sunrise Taj Mahal while they fucked.

“Your delphinium...”

“I know the larkspur” Ali giggled, using the other name for her deep bluish-purple birth flower. “And I love it, like always.”

Ashlyn gave her wife delphinium every single birthday. If she was away for work and couldn’t do it in person she had a bouquet delivered to Ali instead. The note card always said ‘For my love on her birthday. I am ardently attached to your beautiful heart.’ The keeper chose to use the less common words she had found 19 years earlier to define the meaning of delphinium – ‘feelings of an open heart and ardent attachment’. It would have been much easier to use the more popular definition for the larkspur – ‘strong bonds of love’, but where was the romance in that?

“I’m glad” Ashlyn blinked up at her beautiful brunette and felt her stomach flip flop as she watched Ali bend down to take her lips in a slow, romantic kiss.

“Tell me about the other ones, the gorgeous bouquet with all the colors” Ali asked, her voice breathy and low as she pulled back from the kiss.

Ashlyn took a few seconds to catch her own breath, dumbstruck for a moment by the way her wife took her time climbing back on top of her. Ali rested her weight on the keeper’s thighs and let one hand drop down between her own legs. 

“Ummm...” was all the keeper could manage to say in that moment.

She reached out and ran her hands up and down Ali’s thighs while she watched. This was easily one of Ashlyn’s favorite sexual positions. Having her sexy wife sitting on top of her, watching her body do everything that it did while they had sex, watching her face at the same time, and her breasts...fuck yes. Ashlyn could stay there for hours with the best seat in the house. But Ali loved it too. She controlled the tempo and, if she did it right and took her time, she worked herself into a constant, low-level wave of pleasure that felt fantastic. If there was music playing, she moved along with it, letting the base line set her own rhythm. The music that night wasn’t usually what they went for, but the brunette was sure she would find a way to get in synch with it.

“Tell me babe” Ali encouraged the distracted keeper while her hand still worked around her own entrance. Everything was moving at a languid pace – her words, her hand, her hips as she started to lift herself up just enough for her hand to go farther back. “I know you” she smiled. “They’re special. They have something to do with this” she nodded towards the pink wall in front of her and Ashlyn’s Taj Mahal. 

“Umm...” Ashlyn swallowed hard and closed her eyes for a second. She wanted nothing more than to open them and continue watching the sexiest show in the world, but she had to center herself first or she’d never make it through whatever this was that Ali had in mind. It was obvious that the brunette planned on taking her sweet time. “Yeah” the keeper croaked out as she opened her eyes.

They both laughed.

“You ok, Allstar?” Ali used her other hand to hold onto Ashlyn’s, giving it a squeeze.

“Yeah, hell yeah” Ashlyn grinned. “I’m fucking awesome” she shook her head slowly, almost in slight disbelief. “You’re fucking awesome. Jesus baby...look at you...”

Ali met her wife’s gaze, both sets of eyes lidded and full of love and want. The brunette sucked in a quick breath and pulled her hand up to her own mouth, licking the passion from her fingers. Ashlyn swallowed hard again and let her hands travel farther across her beautiful brunette’s bare skin. Her left hand found Ali’s breast and her right hand traced the tree tattoo on Ali’s side. 

“I wanna ride you slow...” the brunette repeated her intention, her voice even lower than before, as she got up on her knees and moved up to the strap-on. “I’m gonna take my time while you...” she paused as she held herself open with one hand and guided the tip of the toy to her wet, ready lips with the other, “tell me about...” another pause while she started to lower herself down onto the dildo, moaning faintly as she felt the knobs pressing into her flesh with delicious pressure, “the flowers...” she opened her eyes as she finished speaking, her pussy finally meeting the base of the strap-on and her wife’s body, “mmmmm...”

“Jesus...” it was Ashlyn’s turn to suck in a breath. 

The blonde steadied herself with a deep intake of air and a long, slow exhale while she watched the sexiest woman she had ever seen begin to move her hips in an unhurried circular motion. There was no up and down, not yet anyway. Ashlyn kept her hands moving just as slowly across her wife’s soft skin, spending more time than usual on the tree tattoo. Something about the fact that Ali had involved her in that tattoo made it extra special for the blonde. Even though the wave tattoo Ali had gotten just for Ashlyn held a special, irreplaceable spot in her heart, the keeper loved that she had been there for every step of the way with the Frankfurt tree. It didn’t hurt that the tree represented their family, the life they had built together. That was the distinction, Ashlyn thought in that moment with Ali on top of her and the seductive Indian music around her and the sexy silk beneath her. The wave tattoo was just for Ashlyn. It was a tribute to Ali’s love for her and had obvious sexual implications as well. But the tree was more symbolic of every part of them, not just their private times. Ashlyn sometimes felt the urge to lift her wife’s shirt up in public and start explaining the tree to her co-workers and other acquaintances who had never seen it before. There was pride and a strange sort of accomplishment for Ashlyn in her wife’s tree. It was hard to understand. All she knew was that she loved that ink more than most of her own, and that was really saying something.

“Where are you?” the brunette asked, cocking her head as she studied her wife’s face while still moving and slowly grinding her hips. She reached out and touched Ashlyn’s cheek with her fingers, gently cupping it as their eyes met again.

The music was more rhythmic than Ali had anticipated and it was easy to fall under the spell of it. There was something almost hypnotic about it and the brunette let it take her with it.

“Right here baby. Right here with you” the keeper smiled and then moaned when she felt Ali grind against her with more force, but still at a deliberate pace. “Fuck...” she squeezed the brunette with both hands and had to fight the urge to thrust her own hips upwards. She would go at Ali’s speed. She would do whatever Ali wanted. Which reminded her of the flowers. She stilled owed her an answer. “So, the flowers are...umm...” Ashlyn’s mind raced to remember some of the details for the multi-colored arrangement on the low dresser at the foot of the bed. She could do this. She just had to concentrate. “They’re all something we’ll find in the gardens there...at the Taj Mahal.”

“Tell me...” Ali husked out as she changed direction, swirling her hips counterclockwise now and playing with her keeper’s pretty pink nipples.

“Shit...” Ashlyn gasped at the new sensation, arching her back up before managing to keep talking in clipped, breathy sentences. Her body felt every single movement Ali made. “There’s...there’s lots of tulips...fuck, they’re the red ones...and yellow daffodils, and purple and white...irises” she paused to enjoy a wonderful tingling sensation coming from her clit as the brunette’s pressure there increased with her methodically building tempo. 

“What else?” Ali lifted one of her wife’s hands and held it in place on her own breast until Ashlyn got the idea.

“Jesus...umm...you’re so fucking hot baby...you feel so fucking good...I’m gonna come just watching you up there...god fucking damn...”

“The flowers...” Ali let out a hoarse, husky laugh and then moaned loudly when she hit a new plateau in her carefully orchestrated, slow-building pleasure ride.

“Oh yeah, uh...there’s lilies too. They have so many different kinds...” Ashlyn bit her bottom lip when Ali started rocking back and forth, front to back, to get more friction on her clit. “Names I’d never even...heard of...”

“Like what?” the brunette let her mouth drop open as her breathing got heavier. She moved her eyes from their Taj Mahal to her gorgeous keeper below her and back up again, over and over but still taking her time, wanting to keep them both in mind as she made her climb toward sweet release. “Tell me the names baby...”

“Oh fuck...ok...ummm...sea lily, toad lily...uh...milk and wine lily...crown imperial lily...spider...lily...” 

Ashlyn could feel the difference in her wife’s body. If she was working her clit on the dildo and harness then she was getting close. The keeper was mesmerized by Ali’s hips on a normal day, but when they were having sex and the brunette was dancing her hips around like this...it was almost too much of a turn-on to take.

“But those are just...” Ashlyn glanced to her left, toward the bouquet of flowers, “regular white lilies...”

“What do they mean?” another guttural request from Ali brought the keeper’s mind back on task.

The brunette was panting now, her chest rising and falling faster, despite her slow and steady pace. She had one hand on Ashlyn’s breast, tugging gently on her nipple. Both of the keeper’s hands were on Ali’s breasts, expertly working up the dark nipples there to stiff, sensitive points. Ali’s other hand was on her wife’s lower abdomen, keeping it close to her own clit, so she could rub it as soon as she couldn’t bear not to anymore. 

“Tulips...fuck...tulips meant ‘perfect love’ in ancient India” Ashlyn’s words were shorter and breathier than before as things started to heat up and speed up just a bit. “And um...daffodils mean rebirth...and new beginnings...”

A low, approving moan came from Ali’s throat when the keeper thrust her hips and the dildo up into her pussy for the first time. Ashlyn hadn’t meant to, but she couldn’t stop herself anymore.

“Yessss...” the brunette hissed when she felt her wife respond by repeating the motion, rhythmically matching her own body’s movements perfectly. As usual. Ashlyn was very good at sex and Ali was thankful as ever for it.

“The iris...Jesus Christ Al...you’re driving me fucking crazy...”

“Keep...mmmmm...going...” Ali moved her hand to her own mound but resisted touching herself for another long minute.

“The iris means royalty...usually...oh God...especially the purple...ones...” Ashlyn continued in a raspy, winded voice that didn’t sound anything like her own anymore. “But they’re also...a funeral flower...”

“Those flowers are...unnhhh...” Ali groaned as she started slowly rubbing her own clit, “all in there...” she nodded very subtly at the colorful bouquet but didn’t pull her eyes away from Ashlyn’s face or her Taj Mahal on the wall.

“Yes baby...yes...” Ashlyn panted, moving one hand to her wife’s hip for leverage so she could pump her own hips up harder and faster. The intoxicating sounds of Ali’s wet pussy nearly pushing her over her own edge too. “They’re all...at the...Taj Mahal...”

“And you’re gonna...mmmmm...fuck Ashlyn!” Ali’s voice raised as her orgasm got closer and closer and her keeper’s hips moved deeper and faster. She rubbed her own clit faster now too, unable to wait any longer. “You’re gonna take me there?...”

“Yes...my queen...yes...” the keeper grunted her replies. “We’ll see them together...fuck...all of them...all of it...everything...”

“Yes baby...unnnhhh...oh God...mmmmm...” Ali was right at the edge, barely in control of her words and the rest of her body as the exquisite pleasure built and built, emanating from her aching clit out through the rest of her body as it moved in time with her gorgeous wife.

“I love you” Ashlyn whispered as she felt the brunette’s body start to tremble and twitch.

“Unnnhhhh...Oh God!!!...” Ali’s strangled cry filled the room as she came hard. Her whole body shook as the orgasm swept through her. She pulled her hand away from her clit immediately and tried to stay upright but failed after only a second or two. She dropped down on top of Ashlyn who wrapped her arms around her tightly and held her close.

“I love you” she repeated, still whispering between gasping breaths. “Happy Birthday baby...I love you...”

It took almost a full minute before Ashlyn felt her wife’s warm tears on her own face where their cheeks were pressed together. She was almost certain they were happy orgasm release tears but she would always check to make sure.

“You ok?”

“MmmHmm” Ali squeaked and nodded, clutching her keeper tighter and burying her face in Ashlyn’s neck as more tears fell.

“Ok honey” she smiled, touched as always by the trust they shared. 

Ashlyn knew it took a lot of trust for her wife to be so vulnerable and she cherished it like the badge of honor it was. Of all the things she was proud of in her lucky, blessed life, she was probably the proudest of that. Ashlyn had created a space safe enough for her beautiful brunette to completely fall apart if she needed to. She knew also that it was the foundation on which they had built their family tree together. They stayed there like that for several minutes while Ali recovered from the powerful orgasm and the outpouring of different emotions finally slowed and the tears stopped. 

“Oh Ash...I don’t even have words for that...” she finally mumbled after lifting her head and giving her keeper a meaningful kiss. “That was...incredible...”

“I know” Ashlyn winked but there was no cockiness behind it. “I felt it too, I mean” they both smiled.

“Thank you, babe” Ali kissed her again.

“Thank you” the keeper replied as her wife pulled her head back to look at her. Ashlyn wiped some of the tears from the brunette’s cheeks and spoke tenderly and sincerely. “That was amazing and I’ll never forget it. Happy Birthday my love.”


	7. Kid Updates & Back to School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss the NWSL...

The 2034 – 2035 school year started after a late-August milestone for two of the four school-aged kids. Ali and Ashlyn helped them deal with and adapt to the change as best they could. They both still fought the powerful parental emotions surrounding the passing of time that every September threw at them. There was no other way to describe it and both moms finally just learned to accept the truth of the statement without guilt. They both got emotional every September. Raising teen and tween kids was fucking hard.

The last week of August brought braces for both Lily and Dodge. The braces were a pretty easy adjustment really. It was all Invisalign technology so the kids didn’t have to deal with metal brackets in their mouths or wires or any of that mess. They were lucky that their teeth weren’t very crooked and didn’t need a great deal of correction. They just had to remember to take the trays out of their mouths any time they ate or drank anything other than water. That was the big adjustment. Every time Dodge or Lily lost a tray, it set the timing of their braces back and cost their parents a lot of money. 

The twins were starting their first year at the middle school as 6th graders. They would ride the bus every day with their big sister Josie and delve into the turbulent world of puberty and all the confusing changes that came with it. Thankfully, neither Dodge nor Lily was showing too many signs of the biological change yet, but their moms knew it was close at hand. On their good days, Ali and Ashlyn resolved to appreciate the 11-year old twins for their mixture of maturity and adorable childishness. One minute Lily acted like a full-blown teenager with her mannerisms and expressions. The next minute she was their cute little girl who still loved to cuddle with them and read stories before bed. 

It was the same with Dodge but he seemed to be less mature than his sister, which was typical in the development of boys and girls at that age. His mature moments were fewer and farther between, but they were there. A lot of them came on the football field. Dodge could often be seen checking on a teammate after a play or a series of plays, wanting to make sure the boy’s confidence hadn’t been shaken by whatever had happened on the field. It wasn’t the prescribed or learned habitual behaviors of football, like helping a teammate up, or taking a knee when somebody was down and being tended to by a trainer, or giving high fives and pats on the back of encouragement. No, Dodge’s mature moments were outside of that. He had a broader view than other boys his age sometimes. He often went out of his way to help one of the refs up if they had been knocked down, for example. Or he would always be the one to make sure the ball ended up with one of the officials, whereas all the other boys were just worried about what their responsibilities were for the next play being called. Of course he was still a class clown a lot too. He was the same kid as always, but with occasional moments of acting like a 17-year old thrown in.

The biggest adjustment for both twins, but especially for Lily, was getting their day started earlier in the mornings and catching the bus to school. Instead of leaving the house in the back of Ali’s minivan at 8:15am, they now had to leave the house at 7am with Josie to catch the bus. It took a while, but they eventually adjusted their schedules and got their bodies used to waking up an hour earlier to make it happen. Dodge continued to take his shower in the morning, but at 6am now instead of 7am. Lily still chose to take hers at night, which both moms were happy about. But the 6am wake-up time was painful for Lily and her mothers for almost the entire month of September. It was clear to both moms that Lily was going to be the child that they would have to hound out of bed every single morning of her school life. It was an exhausting realization.

“You and your brother were both like that” Tammye chuckled during the last week of August as she listened to Ali and Ashlyn explaining the new kid schedule they were going to try out in September. They were all in the garden in the late afternoon. Carol was in the kitchen getting ready to help the kids make dinner that night. The moms were already apprehensive about dealing with Lily at 6am for any reason but Tammye couldn’t resist needling her daughter. “Just be thankful you’ve only got one.”

“Well Drew’s not much better” Ashlyn offered with a heavy sigh. “But he doesn’t have as much hair...”

All three women laughed at the truth in the honest quip as they picked ripe tomatoes and other vegetables from that summer’s successful garden. Ashlyn was on her knees in the dirt, as usual, while Ali stood next to her to collect whatever bounty her wife handed her way. Tammye picked what she could but was no gardener. She only picked what she was sure could be picked and deferred to her daughter’s expertise on any questionable selections. The kids were supposed to help with the garden but did so less and less. Ashlyn hadn’t started it for them as much as she had for herself. Although she was the first to admit that it had been a lot more fun when the kids were younger and eager to participate. The keeper still enjoyed working in the garden. She found it meditative. And it gave her a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when she harvested whatever the garden offered up for she and her family. Ashlyn knew she would continue the garden for the rest of her life, even if it got smaller at some future point when it was just she and her wife living at the big old house.

“You Kriegers were good about getting up for school in the morning?” Tammye asked her daughter-in-law when the laughter had settled.

“We were” Ali replied sheepishly. “Teachers for parents” she shrugged. “We both liked school a lot. Well, Kyle not so much once he got to high school.”

“She used to get her outfit all laid out the night before” Ashlyn teased her wife and winked at her.

“Who did?” Josie asked as she appeared around the corner of the garage. 

Nobody knew how long she had been standing there listening. The answer was probably not very long at all. She had her own interests and none of them involved the garden anymore, nor either of her parents for the most part. But the three women were surprised to see her.

“I did” Ali gave her a smile, happy to have her join them in the garden for whatever brief amount of time it would last.

“You mean like I do?” the redhead questioned further, seeming surprised that another of her own habits might have come from her mother.

“Exactly like you do” Ashlyn answered with a chuckle. “Grandma told me all about it. Mom used to spend a long time deciding what she wanted to wear, and then she’d lay out each part of her outfit on her bed to make sure it looked good together.”

Josie stood on the other side of the garden fence, leaning on it even though she wasn’t supposed to, and considered the new information she had just been given. Ali caught her eye and was happy to see nothing but curiosity there. It had been a bumpy month for the mother and her redheaded daughter after Josie’s birthday disaster and subsequent outburst. The girl had been punished the next morning, severely. All the other kids, even big brother Drew, got the message the moms sent. Nobody spoke to them that way and got away with it. Nobody. Not ever. Josie lost her phone and iPad privileges for an entire month. Ali and Ashlyn were not messing around. And, naturally, Josie blamed Ali for the punishment too, even though it had come straight from Ashlyn with very little tolerance for alternatives from the brunette. Josie had been distant, but cordial, with Ali for the whole month-long punishment. The first two weeks at home were especially rough. But the last two weeks of the punishment took place up at The Academy which was a welcome change and distraction. 

Ali coached week 2 and could already feel the ice starting to melt between she and her daughter. Thank God. It had been one of the hardest months of Ali’s parenting life. The rest of the summer got better and better between them, but Josie was different with everybody by then. She was stretching boundaries in every part of her life and had even pushed beloved Auntie Sydney too far, only to feel the stern consequences there too. Ashlyn and Ali hoped that, if nothing else, Josie would learn that her actions and behavior had consequences. 

“But I didn’t have a whole extra bed to use” Ali laughed and winked at the redhead who seemed unmoved by the gesture.

Ashlyn had gotten good at defusing potential conflict hotspots between the two by the end of August and stepped in again just in case Josie found some way to take offense at Ali’s words.

“Did you come out here for a reason honey?” she asked the redhead and tossed her a ripe cherry tomato as a kind of a peace offering as well as a distraction. She took a second to wipe off any garden dirt and the tiny act of love made both Ali and Tammye smile. “Do you need something?” Ashlyn asked.

“I think she came to help us in the garden, that’s what I think” Tammye teased with a smile.

Josie popped the cherry tomato into her mouth and grinned at her grandmother as she chewed. 

“Oh, um, Caro says she needs a cucumber now so she can do something with it” the girl remembered why she had been sent to the garden in the first place.

“I’ll bet she’s gonna marinate it and make cucumber salad” Tammye nodded knowingly. 

“Yeah!” Josie’s eyes lit up in recognition. “That’s what she said.”

“Here you go” Ali rummaged through the basket she was holding with the garden haul so far and handed the girl a ripe cucumber. “Or did you want to pick it out yourself?” she asked quickly, pulling her hand back and stepping closer to Josie with the whole basket.

The brunette had been burned so many times by situations just like that one. No matter what she said or did, it was the wrong thing when it came to Josie. So now she constantly second-guessed herself. It was frustrating for Ali and it drove Ashlyn crazy. But, she couldn’t argue with Ali about it even though she was upset with Josie and not the brunette, because, as her wife was quick to point out, she had no idea what it felt like to always do the wrong thing and feel the disdain and dislike from one of the kids over and over and over again. 

“This one’s good” Josie replied, taking the cucumber in Ali’s hand after a quick peek into the basket. “Thanks Mom” she gave the brunette a small but sincere smile, plucked another cherry tomato out and popped it into her mouth with a mischievous look, and then walked back to the house.

The three women waited until she was through the kitchen door before commenting, lest she overhear something and take some kind of offense.

“Well, well, well” Tammye quirked her eyebrow at Ali who stood there dumbfounded but relieved by the brief interaction. 

“Miracles do happen” Ashlyn added with a chuckle.

“Shhh” Ali rolled her eyes with her own small laugh. “Don’t jinx it. Jesus.”

Just like Drew and Josie before them, Dodge and Lily were assigned a guidance counselor at Middle School who would stay with them all throughout the next 7 years. After a few bumps in the road with Josie being bullied two years earlier, things between the Kriegers and the guidance counseling department had smoothed out significantly. Part of the reason for that was that Ali and Ashlyn could see the benefit of the system they were using. Drew having the same guidance counselor, now in his 5th year with him, made a big difference. Mr. Eaton saw Drew every day in school, and the other kids he was assigned to, and really got to know him over the years. By the time the kids turned into snarky teenagers, there was already a solid basis of trust established. It was good for the high school kids to have somebody they knew and trusted in their corner all day every day at school.

Ms. Hynd did the same for Josie and, despite the less than auspicious beginning, had been very helpful with the Franny Higgins trouble. Ali and Ashlyn expected similar advocacy from the two guidance counselors who would be helping Dodge and Lily now, Mr. Heider and Mrs. Gennuso respectively. They knew from Meg’s experience with the older guidance counselor system, where a guidance counselor specialized in a single year of high school – which meant that the kids all worked with a different counselor every single year as they progressed through middle and high school, that this more modern concept was more effective and helped more kids. It also helped the parents! It was hard to trust your kids to a school administration for the better part of every day. Knowing that there was somebody there, onsite, who had your children’s best interests in mind made it easier. Of course, not all the guidance counselors were great, but none of them were truly awful either. 

The middle school Kriegers were all pretty happy with their scholastic experience at the O’Malley Innovation Middle School. The twins adapted quickly to being on their own in 6th grade and seeing each other less and less during the day. But they would always share a unique connection. If one of them ever needed the other, they would find one another and tackle whatever the problem was. Sometimes it was silly stuff like Dodge wanting one of his sister’s hair ties to give to the girl he liked. Other times it was more serious like Lily needing help finding her Invisalign tray after lunch. They may have bickered about it or teased each other about whatever the issue was, but they were always there for each other. Always. Ali and Ashlyn had tried to raise all of their kids that way, and had succeeded for the most part, but the twin thing was special. Both Dodge and Lily made new friends, studied new subjects in their classes, and learned a whole lot about themselves and their ever-growing world of Gloucester, MA. 

And Josie continued to blossom in the 8th grade. She took two advanced study courses that had just become available and experienced the first real academic challenge of her young life. The program was new so there weren’t many choices to make. A handful of ‘gifted’ students were allowed to take two courses and there were only three offered. Josie chose advanced math and creative writing, letting the scientific studies course fall by the wayside. They were multi-level courses, so she would start the second half of the year with the second level of advanced math and creative writing.

The redhead loved and hated the creative writing class. She loved the freedom and creativity, but she hated the rules she was supposed to follow, even though they made everybody’s writing better. Josie had been writing in her diary sporadically for years. She knew both her moms did the same thing, but to different degrees. Ashlyn was a devoted journalist who made time every day to write something down, however hurried or half-baked it might be. She would go back later in the week and flesh out some of her thoughts when she had more time. Ali was much less routine about it. She used her journal as more of an idea book than anything, jotting things down in it from time to time and only occasionally writing at length about anything in particular. But she would never forget how helpful writing in her journal had been during some of the most challenging times of her life. She understood why people did it, even if she didn’t always prioritize it herself.

Once Josie got a feel for the parameters of the new challenge, she found her footing and was able to focus on getting the words she wanted onto the paper with much less stress. But that transition took almost the whole first semester. Finally she started to hone in on poetry which led directly to song lyrics, a completely natural outcome for the musically gifted 13-year old. She kept her writing private, only sharing some of it with the three other people in her advanced course and, of course, James Dwyer. 

Drew started his sophomore year of high school and the familiarity of having already been there for freshman year boosted his confidence and helped him expand his friend group quite a bit too. Ethan Machado was still his best friend. They really were two peas in a pod. They were in several classes together and they played most of their sports together too. But Drew also had friends from music and his other classes, both boys and girls. He was still an average student who had to study hard to bring home B grades. There was always a C on his report card too, but not usually more than one. First semester sophomore year, Drew took Algebra II, Chemistry I, World History I, English Composition I, and PE/Health for his requirements. He took Computer Science I and Band for his two electives. If he passed all of those then for second semester he would take Analytic Geometry, Chemistry II, World History II, English Composition II, PE/Health, Computer Science II, and Band.

His freshman year classes had been similar, substituting Algebra I for Algebra II, and World Geography and Ancient Civilizations for World History I & II, and regular English I & II. Instead of Computer Science I and II he had taken German I and II and struggled mightily with the foreign language, even with help from his still semi-fluent mother. His brain just didn’t seem to work well with different languages. He had never been good at Spanish which was why he had decided to try German in the first place. Just as Josie found music as easy as breathing, Drew felt the same about computers. He and Mr. Eaton had charted out a course for him to pursue future college study of computer programming, digital media, and maybe even video game design if he got accepted into the right university programs.

Drew was slated to play the same three sports as last year too, Soccer in the Fall, Basketball in the Winter, and Baseball in the Spring. He was almost a lock to make the varsity soccer team this year after playing on both JV and Varsity his freshman year as a swing player. He hadn’t gotten any actual game time with the varsity squad but he had practiced with them and even travelled to a couple of away games with them as a bench player. His soccer skills continued to make him a solid contributor in the midfield. Unlike his defensive minded mothers, Drew was a natural attacking midfielder with a real nose for the ball and surprising speed and agility. The whole family was excited to watch him play for the Gloucester Fishermen that Fall. They knew he’d earn solid playing time on his varsity team before the month of September was even over with. The Kriegers were very very good at soccer. 

As usual, some of the most interesting developments for the kids that September were in the boyfriend and girlfriend department. Josie had done the middle school thing and broken up with Cole at the end of the last school year. This Fall she began dating another music boy, Mason, who didn’t factor into her life much more than some of her other hobbies did. It sounded terrible but it was true. The redhead wasn’t a jerk about it. She treated Mason kindly and did what other girls her age were doing with their boyfriends – talking and texting on the phone, studying and hanging out at one another’s house after school when their busy schedules allowed, and going out with a big group to the movies or the mall once a weekend. From everything Ali and Ashlyn could tell, and it was a lot but certainly not complete intel, the middle schoolers were playing the parts of boyfriends and girlfriends that they had seen on tv and movies. They weren’t really romantically attracted to anybody yet, at least not at the 6th and 7th grade levels. By 8th grade there were more hormones involved and therefore more tears and heartache. There was hand holding and kissing but that was about it. It was hard to get a consensus opinion on it, but most of the parents suspected there was sharing of bodies as well – but mostly just for looking. 13-year old boys were dying to get a look at female private parts and vice versa.

Dodge and Lily followed suit as new middle schoolers, both taking a significant other of the opposite sex early in the school year. The significance of these mates was that they were almost certainly going to become the first kisses the two youngest Krieger children would experience. As predicted by socialization from elementary school the year before, Dodge asked Katie, the girl he had admired for all of 5th grade, to be his girlfriend. And Lily confirmed her brother’s assertion from the year before that she liked Devin by choosing him for her very first boyfriend too. The anxious moms did everything they could to make sure the twins were ready for being part of a couple, even at such a pre-pubescent level. They reminded Dodge and Lily about consent and respect and boundaries and privacy and kindness. And then they hoped for the best.

Drew’s dating situation was observed eagerly by most of the extended family, even though both his moms disliked the notion that their conflicted son was being viewed as a kind of lab rat in some sort of sexual identity experiment of his own making. The rest of the family was interested because they loved and cared about him, and Ali and Ashlyn had no choice but to accept that because it was the truth. After spending the last half of his freshman year with basketball player Danielle, Drew had begun dating a girl named Grace in July that summer. They had met at the skate park near the pizzeria and had become friends quickly. Neither of them planned on their relationship extending past the innocent summer romance that it was, but once school started in September, neither of them found anybody more exciting so they decided to keep dating. As was the case with all of Drew’s girlfriends to that point, the relationship was mostly platonic and there wasn’t much more to it than that. Their 15-year old bodies were changing and maturing and pushing them towards deeper levels of intimacy, but they never went past making out and tentative groping. 

The horny teenager dealt with his sexual frustration the way most of his peers did at that age. He masturbated every chance he got. Aside from having to face the fact when they changed the kids’ beds every week, Ali and Ashlyn spent longer than they wanted to admit trying to solve the mystery of why they kept running out of hand lotion in the boys and girls bathrooms so fast those days. 

“Well, mystery solved” Ashlyn blushed and groaned as she dropped next to her wife on the family room couch late one evening in mid-September. 

“What?” Ali looked up in confusion from the book she was reading – ‘Old Yeller’ by Fred Gipson. It had been assigned to Lily’s class and both moms knew it was going to devastate their sensitive, animal-loving girl. “Is everything ok? What did Chris say?”

“Huh? Oh no, they’re all good” Ashlyn replied as she picked up the book she was reading for Dodge’s class – ‘Anne of Green Gables’. There had been no debate about which parent would read which book for which kid that September. “But he shed a little light on...things” she sighed and put the book down on her lap again without having looked at a single word.

“Ok, that’s too cryptic” the brunette chuckled and cocked her head at her flustered wife sitting a foot away from her, both of them with their feet up on the coffee table in front of them. “Do I even wanna know?”

“Probably not” Ashlyn sighed again. “I wish I didn’t.”

“Jesus Ash, now you’re making me nervous” Ali put her book down and turned her body sideways so she was facing her wife, one leg tucked underneath her.

“I’m pretty sure I know why there’s never any lotion in the bathrooms anymore” she swallowed hard. “And we’re gonna need to start buying more Kleenex too.” 

Ali froze, unable to do or say anything as her mind tried to process the information. Information she was pretty sure had something to do with their teenage son.

“Oh God...” she mumbled quietly, eyes remaining focused on the side of her keeper’s beautiful face.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded, still looking straight ahead with pink cheeks.

“Did Chris say...I mean...should we...” she took a breath and tried to find words to finish a full sentence. “What did he say?”

“Well, ummm...I’ll spare you the gory details” Ashlyn winced reflexively as her brother’s graphic explanation of what teenage boys did to themselves filled her mind again. “Basically, Drew’s using it to uhh...”

“Oh God...” Ali closed her eyes as if that would stop the conversation from happening.

“So, you know, Chris uh...gave him some advice...”

“He did?” the brunette’s jaw dropped. “When? What did he say?”

“He didn’t tell me and I don’t really wanna know” Ashlyn shook her head slowly but smiled just a bit. “But I’m psyched Drew asked him about it.”

They were quiet for a minute, both minds whirring. They had heard stories from both the Crosses and the Dwyers about Noah and Cassius and their teenage habits. And Kyle had tried to tell Ali what was going to happen with Drew for over a year now, but the brunette had blithely waved him off, assuming her son would be different. Somehow because Drew was still figuring out his sexuality, Ali had mistakenly thought that meant he wasn’t maturing sexually, or something. Now, in the face of the irrefutable facts, it was obvious to her that she had just been in denial. 

“I’m glad too” the brunette finally replied, still deep in thought. “I’m sure Chris did a great job with him. Thank God.”

“I think the phone is the key” Ashlyn nodded thoughtfully, eyes still facing forward and unfocused. “It’s too embarrassing to ask Sam or Dom or Ryan in person. But he called Chris” her smile grew and she felt a new level of love for her brother. 

Just as Ashlyn was helping counsel Johnny about college – something Chris and Beth simply weren’t equipped to do, Chris was guiding Drew through an important part of manhood that neither Ali nor Ashlyn could have done.

“You’re right. Totally” the brunette agreed. “So...what should we do?”

“I don’t think we need to do anything, aside from buying more lotion and Kleenex and reminding him that we’re here if he has questions or needs...anything” Ashlyn gave her wife a quizzical look. “What do you think we should do?”

“Well, Syd and Dom bought lube and put it in the bathroom...”

“They did?” the keeper’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Yeah” Ali shrugged and chuckled. “You know Syd. She’s not shy about anything.”

“Apparently not even Cassius jerking off” Ashlyn laughed but was impressed. “Damn.”

“Ewww...can we not?” Ali wrinkled her nose before adding quickly, “and do NOT start listing off all the other gross names for it...”

Ashlyn took pity on her wife and gave her a soft smile instead.

“So we’ll buy him some lube and talk to him about it?” she asked instead. “Or just leave it for him with a note?”

They both giggled at how silly it all sounded, but they knew their boy, their son. He would die a thousand deaths if they tried to talk to him about using lube to masturbate and Kleenex to keep things tidy so there were no surprises at laundry time.

“How will he ever feel like he can come talk to us if we don’t go talk to him though?” the brunette asked.

“Chris already talked to him about it” Ashlyn countered.

“But not about the lube...”

“Damn, you’re right” Ashlyn sighed again. “I hate to torture the kid, but you’re right. If we shy away from this then how will he ever feel comfortable talking to us about it?”

“He’s gonna die though” the brunette giggled again, a guilty look on her face for finding humor in their son’s certain discomfort.

“So we’ll be smart about it” Ashlyn suggested. “It’ll just be one of us. That’s always best with him anyway” they both nodded in agreement. “And you’ll just go in and say it normally, leave the lube on his desk or wherever, tell him if he has any questions he can ask either one of us, and then leave. Fast and easy.”

“Me? Why me?” Ali’s eyebrows shot up as she poked her wife’s bicep in dissent. “I think it should be you!”

After a spirited debate about which mom would have the unenviable task, they decided to flip a coin. 

“You always win the coin toss though” Ashlyn complained as they stood in the kitchen several minutes later, coin poised on the keeper’s thumb.

“Which is why I’m letting you flip it and call it” Ali chuckled. “I wanted to do rock paper scissors. You’re the one who wanted to flip a coin!”

“You always win at that too” the keeper whined.

“Just come on, let’s go, flip it Allstar” Ali laughed. “And call it!” she added once the quarter was in the air.

“Heads!” Ashlyn called, saying a silent prayer as the coin bounced and spun on the tile floor between them.

“Tails! Ha!” Ali pumped her fist in celebration while her wife buried her face in her hands.

As with everything they did as parents though, they prepared to tackle that touchy subject together. Ali helped her keeper find the right words to say, and the ones not to say, until they had a short, sweet, and to the point message to go along with the bottle of lube Ali brought home with her from work the next afternoon. She had also printed off a page of FAQ and answers from a teen-friendly sex education website that Ashlyn would give with the lube before leaving Drew’s bedroom later that night. It was a good, well thought out plan and they both hoped it would do more good than harm in the grand scheme of things. Neither Ashlyn nor Ali would have wanted to be in Drew’s shoes with their own parents. But they had raised their kids differently than their parents had raised them. Sex and sexuality and sexual health were discussed much more frequently and openly in those days and Ali and Ashlyn had put their family on the path of frank honesty about all of it way back when the kids were just little. They couldn’t back down now, not now when Drew needed them most.

“So...?” Ali gave her wife an eek face when the keeper joined her in their bedroom the next night, after having the chat with Drew in his bedroom. “How’d it go?”

“Ok, I think” Ashlyn chuckled nervously, grabbing the back of her neck as she stood at the foot of the bed and tried to get her heart rate to slow down. “I mean, I didn’t hang around too long. Should I have waited longer for him to ask me questions?” she looked up at her wife with anxious eyes.

“No, no, you did it just like we practiced, right?” she nodded supportively at the keeper. “Just said your piece, put the lube and the info down on the nightstand...”

“He was sitting at his desk...”

“Oh, ok, well you put the lube and information down on his desk then, right?”

“Yeah” she took a deep, steadying breath.

“And then you waited a minute, asked if he had any questions for you, and left when he ignored your very existence” Ali giggled and was happy to see her wife do the same.

“Yeah, exactly” Ashlyn grinned and then jumped onto the big bed, the adrenaline still coursing through her body.

“Ok, then no. I don’t think you should have waited longer” Ali laughed at her wife’s dramatic flop down onto her back from her previous kneeling position. “I think you did everything just right babe.”

Ali moved from the headboard to the middle of the bed, leaning over her wife’s flushed face, upside down. She pressed a soft, soothing kiss into Ashlyn’s forehead and then her nose and then her eyes that fluttered shut at the sweet contact.

“You really think I did ok?”

“I really really do honey. I think you did a great job and I’m proud of you” she moved a bit farther over her keeper, still upside down, and captured her lips in a tender kiss. “Best mom ever.”

“Either that, or I just fucked him up so bad he’ll need therapy for the rest of his life for sexual dysfunction” Ashlyn groaned. She closed her hands together above her chest and prayed out loud. “God, please let it not be that. Please God.”

//

September was busy for Meg too. After spending all 8 weeks at The Academy as a coach in the first summer she didn’t attend as a BC player, the recently graduated, grown woman joined the Boston Breakers development team for workouts to stay sharp and in shape before the NWSL college draft coming up in January. Over the years, most of the NWSL teams had started development teams that worked sort of like the junior varsity team did in high school sports. It was a separate system that had nothing to do with the economics of the senior level team, the Breakers. But it was a team of up and coming players who the organization thought had potential and wanted to groom and develop. The development team players could fill in for injured Breakers players at training and scrimmages whenever necessary, but they could not participate in any NWSL games in any capacity. It was a great opportunity for young players who needed to work on some specific part of their game, or their body, to do so with the benefit of coaches and trainers they wouldn’t get anywhere else. 

Meg had an open invitation to work out and train with the Washington Spirit any time she wanted to because she had done an internship down in DC for several of the summers she was in college. Hannah had hoped she would spend that Fall doing the same thing, but Meg wanted to stay in Boston to be near Charlie who had started working at MIT in August. It was a prestigious position that normally wasn’t given to first year graduates, but Charlie was exceptional. Instead of starting his scientific research career as a Research Assistant like most of his peers, Charlie was hired as a Research Specialist. It was the next step up the food chain and Research Specialists typically had an advanced degree and at least 2 years of appropriate lab experience first. Charlie had neither. MIT wanted him so much that they agreed to let him work on his Masters degree at the same time. It was a big deal and it would require a tremendous amount of work from the young graduate to get it all done, but nobody doubted Charlie. 

His #1 fan was Margaret Ann Doucette and she was determined to do everything in her power to help him achieve that success. Everything, that is, except put her own professional growth on hold. She would be there to support him as he worked towards his Masters and then his PhD after that, and as he progressed up the research track at the prestigious university. But she would do it from wherever she was playing professional soccer, God-willing. And the best thing about Charlie was that he didn’t want her to do anything other than follow her own dreams. Part of why he loved her so much was because she was her own person, with her own hopes and dreams and lofty goals. If all he wanted was a girlfriend who clung to him and his life with nothing else going on in her own, he wouldn’t be with Meg in the first place. But he was very appreciative of the fact that she was in Boston that Fall. It was a stressful transition from elite college student to virtually unknown researcher in a huge lab at one of the most famous scientific universities in the world. 

MIT did everything they could to help make Charlie, and his girlfriend, comfortable during that transition period. There were a slew of houses in Cambridge that were owned and sublet by professors, administrators, and trustees of the university. It was its own real estate enterprise really, set up with the university itself. There were guidelines that had to be followed, of course, but it was all legal and very common among bigger universities across the country. Charlie was given a 3-bedroom house to rent for a song in the quiet streets North West of the MIT campus, between Central and Harvard Squares, in Cambridge. Charlie could ride his bike to campus or take the T, subway or bus, if he wanted to. The house was set up for young scientists just like Charlie. One of the 3 bedrooms had already been converted to an office and all of the electrical outlets and connections had been upgraded to handle modern technology at very high speeds. It was a pretty easy drive to the Kraft Stadium for Meg’s Fall training schedule with the Breakers development team too. The redhead could drive or ride her bike or take the T. Meg’s favorite thing about the house was that it was close to the Knight-Harris office. The MIT campus itself was only a 10-minute walk from K-H. It didn’t make any logical sense, but knowing that Charlie was so close to K-H, and one of her moms, on any given day, made Meg feel a lot better about having to leave after she got drafted.

Watching Meg move into Charlie’s house, really making it their first home together, was a big moment for all 3 of her moms that August. Hannah had flown up to help get everything set up and to take Meg and Charlie shopping and to continue building her own relationship with Judith and Warren Applegate. No matter how many signs the three moms had already gotten that Meg was all grown up now, moving her into a house with her long-time boyfriend was still somewhat of a surprise for them.

“What, did you expect them to wait until they get married?” Hannah laughed at her ex when Ashlyn was finished trying to explain how hard it had been to see Meg and Charlie standing arm in arm on their new front porch waving goodbye to all 5 of their parents a half hour earlier.

Judith, Warren, Hannah, Ashlyn, and Ali were all sitting around a bar table inside a restaurant in Central Square, just a few blocks from the young couple’s new residence. It was almost 8pm and they had stopped for a drink together on their way back to their respective homes for the night. Hannah and Judith were returning in the morning to help some more and take Meg and Charlie shopping for some kitchen things. But Ashlyn had to go to The Academy for week 6 and Ali had several younger kid things to do so they couldn’t join the Sunday shopping. Meg herself had gotten permission to go up to her Academy coaching duties a day late that week.

The 5 parents, all clad in various versions of summer shorts and t-shirts with an extra layer to survive in the air-conditioned restaurant, were tired from a long day of driving and moving and cleaning the new rental house. They sat around a medium sized, round, high-top table in the bar area of the busy restaurant and wished they were dressed more appropriately for public consumption. They didn’t fit into the Saturday night crowd very well at all. But they were all in it together, all just as sweaty and sore from using strange muscles to do things their bodies weren’t used to doing.

This wasn’t the first time the two families had gotten together, but it was the first time Meg and Charlie weren’t present to run interference and keep things moving along smoothly. They had all met at the handful of Meg’s home games during her senior year, and they had all gone out to dinner together to celebrate graduation back in early June. The two families were friendly for sure, but they didn’t really know each other yet. Both Judith and Warren were in their early 50s, only a year or two older than Ali was. They were fairly conservative but very intelligent so most of their societal viewpoints were progressive, at least in theory. They may not have known many gay people, but they were smart enough to know that a person was a person regardless of who they loved. Warren was a doctor of radiology at South Shore Hospital, located in Weymouth, near their home in Norwell. He wasn’t chief of the radiology department yet, but he was next in line. Judith was an institutional and academic systems librarian and was responsible for all of the libraries and reference systems for the entire, comprehensive University of Massachusetts. That included all 6 of the UMass campuses, and both physical and digital libraries. She had her Masters degree in Library Sciences as well as a PhD in English Literature, and was one of the most respected library science and reference minds in academia in the state of Massachusetts - a state that included some of the best universities in the world. The lady was a genius.

Hannah was 3 years younger than Ashlyn and, for a change, her immaturity showed during that quick stop for a drink get together. Normally Hannah was gracious and generous when meeting Meg’s friends and their parents. One of the best things about the elder redhead was that she didn’t judge anybody because she had once been at the very bottom of the totem pole of life herself. Even though she had money by then, she hadn’t forgotten what it felt like to scrape every month to get rent money together. But not that night. The almost 10-year age difference between Hannah and Judith, not to mention the vast disparity between their education, seemed to have thrown the redhead for a loop. She felt inferior to the Applegates in every way and was taking it out on Ashlyn.

“Well, no...” Ashlyn replied sheepishly, feeling embarrassed in front of the Applegates who she was still trying to impress, for Meg’s sake mostly.

“I mean, really Ash?” Hannah laughed again, turning to Judith and rolling her eyes as both Applegates politely chuckled with her. 

The WASPy Applegates were uncomfortable talking about their son’s romantic relationship with the implied understanding that Charlie and Meg were having sex. That was NEVER going to be something Judith or Warren ever wanted to discuss with anybody, not even themselves.

Judith and Warren looked a lot like their generation’s version of Bill and Iris Kimball – Nathan and Jared’s parents who used to live in Ipswich. White, Anglo-saxon protestants who were used to a certain level of civility and good taste in all matters of life. They were a perfect example of the typical, upper class, New England family of privilege and at least moderate influence and power. Warren was 6’ 2”, tall but not quite as tall as Charlie, and well-built, with dark brown hair and distinguished bits of grey at his temples. He had grown stocky with age but both Ali and Ashlyn could see that most of his genes had been passed down to his almost lookalike son. Charlie looked just like his father, but 2” taller, 30 pounds lighter, and a whole lot goofier. It was hard to imagine Warren Applegate with the silly grin Charlie almost always had plastered on his own face. 

Judith, much like Iris Kimball a generation before her, was beautiful in a slightly stern way. She was far less stoic than Iris, softer in every way as each generation always seemed to be. Judith was Ashlyn’s height, 5’ 9”, and trim. Middle age had filled out most of her curves but she wasn’t officially overweight. Everything about her from her straight spine to her delicate facial features that seemed to naturally rest in a stoic visage, to her traditional tweedy wardrobe made it clear that she was a woman who was serious about her life and who was taken seriously by those in it. The sometimes steely glint in her eye and the surprising short, salt and pepper, almost close-cropped hairstyle were the only outward signs of the fierce feminist underneath it all.

The difference between the way Ali and Ashlyn, only a couple years younger than they were, and Judith and Warren had worked on keeping their bodies in good shape as they approached age 50 was obvious. The Applegates weren’t athletes and the Kriegers were. Both Warren and Judith, although less in her case than his, showed the results of a more sedentary lifestyle. They weren’t couch potatoes but they hadn’t prioritized workouts in their lives either. They weren’t embracing a strictly healthy lifestyle or diet, but they weren’t unhealthy slobs either. 

Ali couldn’t figure out what was going on at the table for a few minutes, but eventually, after some more conversation among the group, she realized that Hannah was behaving differently because she felt unworthy. She was shrinking in the face of Charlie’s parents because they were smarter than the rest of them and, she assumed, more wealthy too. The redhead thought that the Applegates had money, like she herself did. She assumed, mostly because of the way Judith and Warren carried themselves and spoke, that they were wealthy and decidedly upper class. The irony of the situation was that they probably didn’t have much more money than the Kriegers did, and Hannah had more than either couple, by a lot. Ali didn’t want to make a scene in front of Meg’s potential future in-laws, but it was getting hard to keep her mouth shut while Hannah made jokes at Ashlyn’s expense. That was frustrating as hell. Dodge knew better than to do that and he was only 11 years old!

“I think what Ash meant was that, even though we all know Meg and Charlie have been dating for a while and that it looks like something more permanent than not, it’s still kind of a shock to the system to see them moving into their own house, their first home together” the brunette explained as patiently as she could, smiling genuinely at the Applegates and trying to keep the hostility she felt for Hannah at that moment out of her voice.

Both Judith and Warren smiled appreciatively at the attempt to move the conversation past whatever was going on between Hannah and Ashlyn. But before they could reply, Ashlyn spoke up unexpectedly.

“Thanks honey” her words were clipped and her jaw was set as she cast a barely hidden scowl at her wife. “But I can speak for myself.”

“Uh oh, somebody’s getting defensive” Hannah jumped on the fresh opportunity with a giggle.

Both Ali and Ashlyn shot glares at the redhead who was the sole cause of the discord at the table.

“Waiter!” Warren called out as their server passed by quickly. He was trying to do whatever he could to change the subject. “I’d like to see the dessert menu please” he smiled up at the young man. “That pizza we had with the kids was delicious but I feel like something sweet tonight, how about you honey?” he asked his wife after glancing at the other three women around the table to see if his idea was working.

“Oh what a lovely idea. Yes, why don’t you bring us a few menus” Judith nodded at the waiter. “Thank you.”

“Excuse me” Ashlyn spoke clearly, regaining some of her composure as she addressed the rest of the table and stood up. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

The angry flash in Ali’s eyes stopped Hannah from saying whatever she had been about to pile on to Ashlyn’s misery when she opened her mouth. Instead, the redhead complimented Warren on his fine idea for dessert. The waiter returned with 5 dessert menus and after looking at hers quickly, Ali ordered something for both she and her wife before excusing herself as well.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be right back too” she smiled sincerely at the Applegates and ignored Hannah completely so she could keep the smile on her face and the warmth in her voice.

“Hey, wait, come here for a minute” the brunette tugged lightly on Ashlyn’s arm as they crossed paths right outside the ladies room entrance.

“What? Come to check and see if I need help wiping my own ass too?” the keeper replied with snark, her voice low.

“Knock it off” Ali quirked her eyebrow at the blonde as they stepped to the side so they weren’t blocking the door. “I get that you’re mad and maybe embarrassed or whatever, but don’t take it out on me” she whispered, keeping her hand on Ashlyn’s arm but releasing it from the firm hold. They locked eyes for a second and then Ali gave her wife’s arm a soft squeeze and a little pat. “You’re amazing babe. Don’t let Hannah get to you. She’s feeling out of her league...”

“Yeah, well I know the feeling...”

“Don’t say that” Ali frowned slightly but then smiled at her keeper. “You’re amazing and the only reason this is awkward right now is because of her. Don’t let her mess get all over you too.”

“Oh good, you’re both still here” Judith’s hushed voice reached them as the woman herself walked quickly towards them with a friendly and slightly conspiratorial look on her face.

“Kid stuff” Ashlyn whipped her phone out as some sort of proof that they weren’t huddled there together like middle schoolers talking about the class mean girl. “Sorry.”

“Oh, well I hope everything’s ok” Judith stopped right in front of them, genuine concern in her eyes.

“Yes” Ali smiled. “It’s all good now. We were just on our way back to the table...”

“Before you go” Judith glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were still speaking privately, “I just wanted to take a minute and let you both know how much Charlie loves spending time with you and your family.”

“Oh...”  
“Really?”

Both Ali and Ashlyn spoke at the same time before chuckling at themselves and feeling like someone had just blown a breath of fresh air through their entire world.

“Yes, really” Judith grinned and gave Ashlyn’s arm a friendly pat. “It means a lot to both Warren and me that you’ve taken him in and made him feel so welcome. It’s hard sometimes for an only child to learn how to fit into a bigger family, but he’s always said how easy it was for him...with you.”

“Well thank you for saying that Judith” Ashlyn beamed at the intimidating but apparently also kind and considerate woman.

“It’s been a big day for all of us” Judith nodded back towards the table with a chuckle. “And you’re right, of course, even though we knew it was coming, it’s a lot to process isn’t it?” her eyes went wide but her smile remained. “But in a good way.”

“Exactly” Ali nodded and grinned. 

As if they needed more reasons to be impressed by Judith Applegate, the woman was compassionate and perceptive as hell too. In one brief exchange she had managed to tell them both that she felt their pain with Hannah, and all without ever saying anything directly about the redhead or their actual situation.

“And we love Charlie” the brunette added quickly and sincerely. “He’s wonderful with the kids and the dogs and the craziness that comes with them” she giggled and both other women laughed with her. “He’s an impressive young man and we love having him around.”

After another minute of quick praise for both offspring, the Kriegers returned to the table and Judith went into the ladies room. Hannah kept up her routine for the next hour that they spent together, but it didn’t bother either Ashlyn or Ali anymore. Just knowing that the Applegates were getting good feedback about the big old house and its inhabitants from Charlie himself was all they needed to know. It was all that mattered, really. Who knew what the future held for Meg and Charlie. All signs pointed to a long-term relationship and perhaps even marriage at some point – but nobody was ready to even say those words out loud yet. What Ashlyn and Ali learned that night in Cambridge was that Charlie wasn’t an anomaly among the Applegates. He had been raised by parents, it seemed, who were as smart and nice as the young man himself. The Kriegers didn’t know if they would ever call Judith and Warren Applegate their friends, but, happily, the idea didn’t seem that far-fetched after all.


	8. Soccer Moms and Businesswomen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss the NWSL...and the USWNT...  
> But I'm loving the WNBA. They are kicking ass on and off the court.

The rest of their less kid-centered lives were busy for both Ashlyn and Ali that September too. Ali continued to coach both Josie’s and Lily’s youth soccer teams and all three of them really enjoyed it. The brunette had been anxious about how the change in her relationship with the feisty redhead was going to play out in the soccer realm, but she had been pleasantly surprised. Instead of getting Josie’s worst, as had been happening since the ill-fated birthday party in June, Ali was relieved to get nothing but soccer-loving Josie instead. Everything about their coach and player dynamic was the same as it had been for the past 9 years of their lives. Josie was focused and disciplined as the player, while Ali was demanding but supportive as the coach. It was as if nothing else in their universe had changed at all. It felt like the greatest gift in the world to the brunette after the bumpy summer between them.

Josie and Drew were both good athletes who loved and excelled at soccer. Their play styles were very similar too. All four of the youngest Krieger kids played fast and smart and worked hard and chased after every loose ball. They dug in on defense, knowing it was just as important as offense if the team was going to win the game. They had been raised and trained to play the same way Ken Krieger had raised and trained Kyle and Ali, and then Koty and Tanner, to play. Both Ken and Ali emphasized mastery of the basics in their coaching, as did Ashlyn, in whatever sport they were involved with. It was the Krieger way. Josie and Drew were both good with the ball at their feet and faster than most other kids their age. All the Kriegers were tough and weren’t afraid of getting involved in tackles or scrums when the time came. Josie avoided them when she could because she was still smaller than everybody else and not even toughness and pure spirit could help her win some of those battles. She was smart and crafty and she saw the game better than most kids her age. The same was true of Drew but he had never had to make up for lack of size like his younger sister did.

“It’s like watching you out there when you were her age, you know?” Ken grinned at his daughter as he stood next to her after practice one evening in early September.

The 8th grade girls who lost the practice scrimmage were running sprints while the winning half of the team picked up the cones and collected the balls at the end of the weekly training session. It had been a good practice and a spirited scrimmage as the girls fought for starting spots for that weekend’s upcoming game.

“I don’t remember being that much smaller than the other girls though” Ali replied thoughtfully as she watched the sprinters. “I mean, I know I was and I remember, you know, struggling with the physicality of it in the games...” she paused, not sure her father could understand when she herself was having a hard time describing her own sensory memories. Ali had never felt as small when she had been playing as Josie looked to her now as a coach and a mom. “But she just looks so tiny out there.”

“I’m telling you, you looked just as small” he chuckled. “Your little legs moved twice as fast as everybody else’s just to get you to the same place. It was amazing to see.”

“I hope she plays in high school next year” the brunette admitted a deeply held wish. “I’m afraid she won’t, and I really want her to have that. I want all the kids to have that high school sports team experience.”

“I think she will” Ken nodded and crossed his arms as he watched the sprinters starting to run out of gas. “She loves it. You can see it in the way she plays and trains” he shrugged as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world. “She might not do any other sports once she gets even more into music, but I don’t think she’ll give up this” he smiled broadly as he looked from one end of the practice field to the other like the proud owner of a fine and fertile field of wheat or orchard of fruit trees. “It’s in her blood.”

Lily’s experience was a bit more frustrating for all of her soccer-loving family. The young blonde was even more athletically gifted than her older brother and sister. She could have been just as dominant as Dodge was – if she wanted to. Ashlyn had long said that Lily was the most natural athlete of the bunch and nobody would argue it. But Lily, as she had for her entire life, hadn’t truly committed to anything yet. She was only 11 but it was long past the time when most sporty kids picked at least one or two sports that they really loved to play and dedicated themselves to extra practice on their own. But not Lily. She was endlessly enigmatic and neither of her moms had observed any sign that the pattern might change any time soon. She played when it was game time and she practiced when it was time to train. She played and trained just as hard as her siblings all did and had similar positive results every time she took the field. She loved it while she was doing it, but that was it. Lily never was motivated to do any extra – and it wasn’t just soccer. She was the same way with all the sports she played. 

It was frustrating beyond belief for the two competitive women to watch their talented daughter squander her gifts. But they knew better than anyone that if they tried to push Lily into anything, it would surely backfire on them. The person who lost patience with her the fastest was Meg. Both Ali and Ashlyn had been shocked the first time the college freshman had been critical of her youngest sister after watching Lily’s then U8 team win their Saturday morning youth league game four years earlier.

“Geez Lil, you could dominate the whole league if you just worked on your technique a little bit” Meg’s eyes were full of passion for both the game and the girl she loved enormously. “That was a great game and you would have had a hat trick if you could have finished those shots.”

“Yeah, probably” 7-year old Lily giggled as they all settled down on the big family blanket area to wait for Josie’s game coming up an hour later. “But I don’t like to practice” she shrugged and guzzled water from her bright pink sports bottle. “It’s ok.”

But it wasn’t ok and Meg couldn’t believe what she was seeing and hearing. The 18-year old tried to bite her tongue but only lasted a couple of minutes before she spoke sharply.

“It’s not ok though” she furrowed her brow. “You worked so hard to get into good positions and make those runs and then you missed the shots because you don’t like to practice?!” her eyebrows went up but her face was not even remotely amused. “How do you think that makes your teammates feel?” she cocked her head and became dimly aware that the entire rest of the family, including grandparents, was listening. “Nina made that beautiful pass, she ran her butt off to keep the ball in play, and you missed the shot” Meg thought about stopping but she was morally outraged and on a roll. “And then that other girl...” she paused to try and come up with the name but failed...”the one who had to come off because she got her ankle stepped on...”

“Kelly” Ashlyn supplied the name as plainly as she could, not wanting to add any more judgment to the scene than was already clearly present.

“Kelly” Meg picked right up without skipping a beat. “She sacrificed herself for the team, to win that ball and make that pass...” she took a quick breath when she saw Lily’s bottom lip start to tremble, “and it was all for nothing because you roofed the shot.” 

Everybody was quiet, even Josie and Dodge, who had been fighting over the last cherry-flavored go-gurt from the cooler, turned their attention to their two sisters. Meg’s passion turned into compassion and she gave Lily a troubled half smile as she started to speak again, her voice softer this time.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but...I just don’t understand it” she shook her head slowly. “You’re so good already, how do you not want to be even better?” Meg paused again, relieved to see her youngest sister fight off the bout of tears they all knew was threatening. “I was never as good as you are when I was your age. I’ve always had to work so hard at it. I don’t know” she lowered her eyes for a second and regretted making such a big deal out of a second-grader’s soccer practice habits. “It just seems like such a waste to me.”

Ali and Ashlyn had used the heartfelt call out as a teachable moment for young Lily, talking with her later that night. They explained how frustrating it could be for someone who wasn’t as athletically gifted, someone like Meg, to see her settling for being good enough instead of trying to be the best that she could be. Lily had practiced on her own for almost 2 full weeks, motivated by her big sister’s words and the talk with her moms, but then had gone back to her old ways again. It was just the way she was and nobody, not even beloved, super cool older sister Meg could change that.

//

The Ashlyn Harris Sports Complex had celebrated its one-year anniversary back in May and the keeper had been pleased by the continued growth of the facility in those 12 months. It hadn’t started off like gangbusters though. It was a new place that people had to find and learn to embrace at their own pace that first summer. But it kept growing and as more and more folks realized it was there, the entire complex came to life. All ages, multiple sports, all year round – it was becoming the go-to spot on the whole North Shore of Boston. It had started as an alternative option for those people who lived up on Cape Ann who didn’t always have an easy way to get to locations closer to Boston, or all the way up to the New Hampshire border. But now, in the second Fall of its existence, The AHSC was drawing people from those places up to Gloucester instead. 

The scheduling matrix for the fields and courts and facilities was something Ashlyn was glad she had absolutely nothing to do with. She wasn’t sure even her talented wife could master it – and Ali was a wiz with schedules. No, the keeper was more than relieved that only her name was involved in the management of the complex. The Kraft Foundation ran it and did a wonderful job balancing everything and keeping most of their visitors more than happy with the services and facilities there. It had been nerve-wracking at first for Ashlyn. She took it very seriously that her name was emblazoned all over that place. She felt the same way about the companies she was involved with as she did about her children carrying the Krieger family name. It was a responsibility. There was accountability there and she expected the AHSC to uphold a certain set of values, just as she expected her kids to do the same. But she needn’t have worried because the AHSC was professionally operated and staffed and doing a very good business at the same time. She should have known Bob Kraft would make sure of it before he passed away and left those future plans to her. He had always had her back, no matter what role she played within his family businesses. She missed her old friend and mentor a lot.

“Sometimes I can still hear his voice coming around the corner” Jonathan Kraft admitted with a soft smile. 

It was mid-morning in early September and he and Ashlyn had just finished an owners’ meeting to prepare for the playoff push the Breakers were gearing up for. They stood outside Jonathan’s office at the stadium and glanced wistfully down the corridor that led to Bob’s old office. 

“I’ll bet” Ashlyn nodded and let a heavy sigh escape her lips. “I miss him.”

“Every day” Jonathan agreed.

“I’m glad you’re finally taking his office over though. It’s more than time.”

“I hope so” he exhaled his worry. “It just didn’t feel right before” he shrugged as they both continued to stare down the empty hallway, deep in their own thoughts. 

“Well I’m happy it does now. He’d be happy too” she gave him a warm pat on the back. “You know it’s what he wanted.”

“I do” Jonathan nodded and smiled. “Thanks Ash.”

“For what?” confusion flashed across her face. “I should be thanking you every single damned day...”

“Don’t start that again” he laughed softly and rolled his eyes.

Ashlyn was enormously grateful for everything Bob Kraft had given her, both while he was alive and especially after his death. She had been so thankful, so often, at the beginning that Jonathan finally had to tell her to stop. If she was going to do her job as an owner of the organization then she had to stop being so obsequious in front of the rest of the organization. They needed to look up to her with confidence as a leader they could trust and respect. And, although gratitude and courtesy were fine attributes to model for the rest of the team, Ashlyn had to learn how to behave like she belonged in the ownership seat. She adapted quickly, but it had originally taken a heart to heart with Jonathan Kraft to get her to take the first step down that path.

“So what’s up then?” she asked that September morning, turning her full attention to the man who had turned 70 years old earlier that Spring, and who had become a close friend as well as a trusted colleague.

“I don’t want to get all sappy or anything” he dropped his eyes for a shy moment before lifting them up and meeting Ashlyn’s gaze. “But...Dad saw something in you that none of the rest of us did” he dropped his eyes again, quickly, but this time it was in embarrassment. “He took a huge risk making you an owner in his will, and a lot of us tried to talk him out of it.”

“I figured” the keeper stiffened just a little bit but recognized a truth she had suspected for years anyway. “I’d be surprised if you hadn’t.”

“But WE were wrong” Jonathan asserted, his voice firm and full of commitment. “I was wrong. Dad was right” he paused and shared a heartfelt smile with the athlete he had always admired and who had turned into a businesswoman he respected too. “Thank you for making him look so good, all this time.”

But not everything was good at Kraft stadium that summer. There had been a break-in during a rare time when both the Revs and the Breakers were travelling for away games in mid-August. Some idiots had broken in on a Tuesday morning through the stadium entrance posing as laundry delivery service workers to try and rob... somebody or something. It was a terribly inept attempt, because it was like breaking into an office building. Kraft stadium and the Revs and Breakers staff offices were full of cubicles and office equipment, not money. It wasn’t a bank or a high-value target. Somehow the two thieves were under the impression that there was a whole lot of cash stored in a safe in the offices, but it was simply not true. If they had been smarter and planned their heist to coincide with a double-header home game when both teams were playing at the stadium and the concessions and merchandise cash was actually onsite for several hours, then that would have been one thing. But a Tuesday morning when neither team was even in town?? 

They held 14 employees hostage in the conference room with a couple of handguns until Jonathan Kraft finally convinced them that there was no safe anywhere on the premises. He had to bring up the blueprints for the building on the big monitor to prove his point. By the time one of the robbers had collected everybody’s jewelry and cash, the security team had arrived and subdued the other gunman. A couple of members of the training staff, Dom Dwyer included, managed to take down the distracted thief with the valuables and the whole crisis was over in under two hours. But it had been a scary fucking two hours, for everybody. 

“I just can’t believe it” Ashlyn’s eyes were wide and she looked pale and out of sorts as she sat in the soaking tub with her wife that same Tuesday night. Ali held her, the keeper’s back to the brunette’s front, as they enjoyed the quiet, fragrant, soothing atmosphere of the master bathroom after the kids were all in bed.

The break-in had occurred at 10am and the keeper hadn’t even heard about it until it was all over just after lunch time. But it had haunted her ever since. She felt guilty for not being there to help, coaching instead at week 7 of the Academy as was her usual schedule during the summer. Ashlyn had been so shaken by the terrifying robbery attempt that Ali sent a car up to bring both the keeper and Sydney back home for the night. Ali met them at the Dwyer’s house in Lynnfield late that afternoon and the two couples hugged and cried and talked about what had happened. Dom’s harrowing first-hand account had only ramped up Ashlyn’s anxiety, but it was important for him to talk about. In typical Dom Dwyer fashion, he found the humor in it and they spent the end of their hour-long debrief in grateful laughter, Ashlyn included. 

“I know” Ali’s voice was soft and tender as she tried to ease her wife’s tension before bedtime. “But everybody’s ok. Nobody got hurt. Everything’s ok now honey. Everybody’s safe. You’re safe. I’m safe. The kids are safe. The dogs are safe...” 

The keeper’s normally well-managed PTSD was a constant concern in times just like that one. Even though Ashlyn hadn’t been at the stadium herself, hearing Dom’s vivid description had set the wheels turning in her imaginative mind and she had been a stressbag ever since. 

“Omar’s not ok” the anxious blonde countered as she tried to get her brain to stop spinning, referring to the security guard who had been cold-cocked with the butt of one of the handguns when he confronted the thieves just after they had gained entrance. “He had to go to the hospital...”

“You’re right” Ali agreed, her voice low and calm as she let her hands gently massage her wife’s forearms and what she could reach of her legs under the warm water. “But he’s home now and he didn’t even need any stitches. Just a black eye and a bump on the head” she repeated what Ashlyn had told her earlier that evening when she got off the phone with Omar himself. “He’ll be back at work next week...”

“He wanted to come back tomorrow” Ashlyn repeated more of the information she had already shared. But her heart rate seemed to be slowing down a bit so Ali indulged the repetition. “But no way” the keeper shook her head slowly. “We told anybody who needed it to take the rest of the week off.”

“I know sweetheart” Ali turned her head and pressed a soft kiss into the blonde’s cheek, leaving her lips in place and nuzzling her for almost a minute. “You guys are taking such good care of everybody” she mumbled into another warm kiss and was encouraged by a long, slow sigh from Ashlyn in response. “That’s it, just try and let it all go...”

They both practiced some deep breathing exercises together for the next several minutes and the brunette could feel her wife’s body truly starting to unclench. They were quiet. There was only the sounds of their breathing and the soft trickle of water from Ali’s hands as she moved them in slow circles around her keeper’s skin.

“I feel bad that I left camp” Ashlyn admitted in a soft voice several minutes later.

Ali waited to reply, wanting to make sure her keeper had said all she needed to say first.

“It’s ok honey” she said when it became obvious that Ashlyn wasn’t going to say anything else. “You can go back up tomorrow if you want, if you’re ready. Or you can wait until Thursday...” Ali knew it was important to her keeper to be there to say goodbye at the close of each week on Thursdays. She always made sure to be there to welcome the campers on Sundays and then send them off at the end on Thursdays. “But you won’t be any good to anybody if you’re not feeling right yourself, right?”

“Yeah...that’s right” Ashlyn nodded and sighed again, this one sounding more content and almost peaceful.

“Should we do another exercise?” the brunette asked carefully. She wanted to make sure Ashlyn was doing what they both knew she needed to do to get her head straight, but she didn’t want to push it. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Nah, I’m ok” the keeper exhaled deeply, her lungs offering proof that she had truly turned a corner and was on the way back from the frightening stress and panic levels she had reached that afternoon and evening. “I’ve been doing one for a while.”

“Oh I’m sorry” Ali frowned and kissed her cheek again. “You should have just told me to zip it” she giggled softly.

“No, I love to hear your voice” Ashlyn turned her head towards her beautiful brunette and waited briefly for Ali to bring their lips together in a slow, tender kiss. “It always helps” the keeper continued after they kissed again. “Thank you for taking such good care of me tonight...”

“Shhh...” Ali gave her a longer kiss, letting her keeper decide whether she wanted to deepen it or not. When Ashlyn pulled her lips back and blinked up at her with sleepy eyes the brunette had her answer. She hadn’t been trying to have sex, but if Ashlyn had wanted to make out for a while she would have gladly agreed. Tonight was all about what her sweet wife needed. Nothing more. “I love taking care of you. Thank you for letting me” she moved her arms to Ashlyn’s midsection and gave her a squeeze. “Should we get into bed now? I can massage your head and neck – that always relaxes you.”

“Mmmm...yes please, baby.”

The last thing Ashlyn remembered that night, as she drifted off to sleep, was how safe she felt in her wife’s arms and under her strong but gentle touch. There was nothing in the world better than that.

//

A month after the stadium break-in, Ali flew to Los Angeles for 10 days to put the last few pieces of Knight-Harris’ new, west coast office in place. The big move had been in the works for over a year but it was finally becoming a reality. The office itself was going to be about the same size as the K-H office in Cambridge and hopefully serve about the same number of clients. Ali, Whitney, and Jared had maximized the hell out of the original K-H office in every way possible. If they wanted to continue to grow – which hadn’t been the easy answer most people would have thought – then they would need to expand. That part was simple math and economics. The most basic question – did they want to keep growing – had been the most difficult for Ali, in particular, to answer. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be in charge of an entirely new office. It meant twice the work for her and her plate was already as full as she wanted it to be. The brunette took her time and did a lot of soul searching before she agreed to move forward with the ambitious expansion plan. 

“Ash is right” Sydney said 19 months before, back in early 2033 when her best friend had been struggling with the first decision. “You can’t run both and you shouldn’t have to.”

“Letting go, delegating, is always tough at first” Molly added her two cents. “I’ve never had to do it on such a large scale, but even at a smaller level like my company, it’s hard to do.”

“Well, yeah, it’s your baby” Sarah emphasized as the three supportive friends nodded along in agreement, trying to help Ali as best they could with a decision none of them could imagine making. “Giving up control of it...” she let out a low whistle and cocked her head at the group, “it’s not gonna be easy.”

The four women were having one of their bi-monthly dinners in Boston and Sydney had pushed the issue to the forefront of their conversation, knowing Ali would let it wait until everybody had vented about their own stuff. But the coach knew how hard the decision was for her bestie and wanted to make sure they spent a good amount of time talking it through with the other smart women in their group. Both Molly and Sarah were very intelligent and often looked at things from a different perspective. Their opinions would be more than welcome and Sydney was sure Ali would benefit from the discussion.

“But you wouldn’t be running them both, not the same way you’re running K-H now, right?” Sydney steered the conversation back towards the systematic breakdown of possible options she knew would help Ali’s logical mind come to a conclusion. “I mean, obviously you can’t do that. You can’t be in two places at once. You can’t do two full time jobs. That’s just insane, even for you” she chuckled and bumped her bestie’s knee under the table they were all huddled around.

“No, you’re right” Ali sighed but gave the coach an appreciative nod. “I have to either let someone else run one of them...”

“The West Coast one, obviously” Molly clarified and they all murmured their agreement.

“Yeah, of course” Ali joined them. “I’d stay here. Absolutely.”

“And the other option is to take on a new, higher level position and oversee two people, one running each of the offices” Sarah spelled it out as they all thought hard about the choice.

“And there’s a third option” Ali made a small eek face and looked from friend to friend before continuing. “We don’t expand at all and everything stays the way it is.”

They were all quiet for a minute, sipping their wine and waiting for the brunette to speak again. They weren’t sure which way Ali was leaning. If she was really considering keeping things exactly the way they were then she wouldn’t be struggling so hard with the decision. They knew their friend well and were pretty sure she wanted to expand but wasn’t sure how to make it happen.

“Whit says the shareholders all voted for expansion though” Sydney had waited as long as she could before spilling the beans, “even you.”

Ali’s jaw dropped but she recovered quickly and laughed at her best friend. Her all-knowing best friend.

“So, if you voted for it, then we’re back to looking at the first two options, unless I’m missing something?” Molly gave Ali a quizzical look.

“No, Christ, alright?” Ali rolled her eyes and finished her glass of wine in one big gulp. “Can’t a girl have second thoughts though?” she laughed again. “Geez...”

After almost another hour of delicious dinner and thoughtful, debate-filled conversation about the pros and cons of both options 1 and 2 of the expansion plan, it was time to wrap things up and get back home to their families. Ali gave them all an extra big hug as they got into their coats and prepared to venture out into the cold February night.

“Thank you guys, really, I mean it” Ali said with a warm smile for each of them. “This was just what I needed. I’m sorry my stuff took over our night, but I...well, I’m not sure I could figure this all out without you guys.”

As Ali made the cross-country flight to Los Angeles on Sunday, September 17th, 2034, she thought about all the plans they had made and the milestones they had achieved as they got ready to launch K-H West in January 2035. She was proud of what they had built. She was extremely proud, when she allowed herself to be. Knight-Harris was one of the most successful ‘small’ sports and entertainment agencies in the country. It had started with a focus on young, female athletes and grown exponentially from there. The next step in their growth would be to move out of the ‘small’ category and into the ‘medium’ category of their industry. If they did this next part right, then they could grow into the ‘large’ category in another 5 – 10 years. 

The 5 shareholders of K-H had indeed voted at the end of 2032 to explore growth options, one of which was a new office on the West Coast. Ashlyn, Ali, and Hilary Knight were the three founding partners of K-H and they each owned 21% of the business. The other 37% was split equally between Jared Kimball and Whitney Flanagan, but all 5 shareholders had an equal vote when it came to decision making. The percentages were more about income and revenue than anything else. Ashlyn, Ali, and Hilary had all given up some of their original shares when they added Jared and then again when they added Whitney to their ranks back in 2023. With growth came change and that was the way it was supposed to be. Nature taught that lesson every single day, if you were paying attention. 

So they would need to do the same thing again as they expanded to Los Angeles. The two new shareholders this time would be Marcy Hopkins, Ali’s longtime protégé who was more than ready to run her own business, and Jen Tucker, Whitney and Ashlyn’s college friend who had been with K-H since its inception back in 2017. Jen had been their very first agent, not counting Ali herself, and she had been the managing agent for the last several years. She knew her stuff and had been instrumental in hiring, training, and managing the individual agents who worked for K-H.

Going from 5 to 7 shareholders meant another reduction in shares, and new job titles and positions all the way around. It was scary but exciting for all of them.

The new Shareholder Directory read:

Ali Krieger, Executive Partner (East)  
Ashlyn Harris, Founding Partner (East)  
Hilary Knight, Founding Partner (West)  
Jared Kimball, Director of Media (West)  
Whitney Flanagan, Chief Counsel (East)  
Marcy Hopkins, Managing Partner (West)  
Jen Tucker, Director of Operations (West)

Ali Krieger went from being the Managing Partner to the new position of Executive Partner. Ashlyn, Hilary, Whitney, and Jared all kept their titles even though their job responsibilities changed. Marcy took Ali’s old title, and Jen took on a newly created title. Ali, Ashlyn and Hilary made a big statement by making the shares of the first 5 shareholders the same, for the first time in the history of the company. All 5 of them would have a 16% share. It was a decrease for all of them, yes, but the equal share amount result was a momentous move. Their old theory that if you got your employees invested in the company then they would work harder and better and be happier overall. That’s what made the company so successful and it was an easy decision for Ali, Ashlyn, and Hilary to continue to put their money where their mouths had always been. Jared and Whitney expected their shares to drop but assumed there would be three tiers of shares. They were surprised but very appreciative of the equal share amounts for the first five of them. 

And Marcy and Jen were thrilled to be shareholders at all. They would have been happy with 5% each but they were stunned when they saw the way the whole structure had been built. 10% shareholders right off the bat. It was extremely generous and the decision produced the desired effect. Both women rededicated themselves to Knight-Harris for the long haul. That had always been important to Ali – keeping the top-level talent that she worked so hard to find and groom along the way. The west coast expansion came along at the right time for many of the shareholders for several different reasons. Jared had been working with one foot out the door for the past few years. They all knew he was itching for change in many aspects of his life. He truly enjoyed the work that he did at K-H and the people he worked with, which was the only reason he hadn’t left yet. His long-time, on again-off again professional dancer boyfriend had finally settled down in Los Angeles and Jared wanted to move there and give their relationship a chance to solidify once and for all. He was 38 years old and moving in with a serious boyfriend for the very first time in his life. 

Hilary Knight was also eager to take on a bigger role in the company that bore her name. She had always been happy to stay in the background and let the others do most of the work, but now that she was older and more settled in her own life – her highly-renowned girls’ hockey camp in Idaho was a huge success, she wanted to be involved in the day to day operations of K-H. Truthfully, she had been wanting to make a change like that for the past few years but she had no idea how to make it happen without upsetting the apple cart of the successful company as it was. The western expansion was like a gift from above for Hilary.

Those two key players were really the impetus behind the expansion idea taking off. Jared got a chance to take his leadership to the new office and spread his wings. His role would be the same but he would be overseeing the media departments for both offices while he tried to get his personal life moving forward too. Hilary would become the Ashlyn Harris of the west coast office. She wanted to do what the keeper had always done – be the face and welcoming committee of the office and organization. Ashlyn and Hilary were why so many athletes came to K-H in the first place. Young athletes knew that both the K and the H had been there and done that in the sports world and they trusted that the two former pros would guide their own careers to success as well.

Jen Tucker was originally from California and was excited to move back West to finish out the rest of her career. The other native Californian among them, Whitney Engen Flanagan, would remain in the Cambridge office. There were a number of reasons why that was best for the lawyer and her family, not the least of which was that the weather and air quality was so much better in Boston than it was in LA. Tommy’s lungs needed to stay on the East Coast. And Whitney’s mom and dad had just moved to Arlington, MA for her cancer treatment. There was no way Whitney was going anywhere. Just as Ashlyn had adopted New England as her permanent home, Whitney found herself feeling the same way.

The biggest dilemma in terms of staffing the west coast office had been getting somebody to run it the way Ali had run the Cambridge office. Marcy Hopkins was the easy and obvious choice, but would she consider relocating to Los Angeles? It was a big ask. There was nobody else that Ali trusted enough with the job so she really hoped Marcy would take it. If Marcy said no, then Ali would have to do it herself or the expansion might not have been able to happen until she could get somebody else trained up enough to take it on. As it was, Marcy and Ali agreed to a 2-year arrangement. Marcy and her husband would move to Los Angeles and try it out for 2 years. Meanwhile, Ali would continue working with her current protégé, Remy Lynch, to try and bring her up to speed enough to take over instead of Marcy. Then Marcy could come back to Boston. Remy would run whichever office Marcy didn’t want. Secretly, the brunette hoped Marcy would love LA because that meant Ali could keep a better eye on young Remy until she was fully confident in her abilities. But Ali’s biggest wish was for Marcy to be happy. She had worked so hard for K-H for so long and she deserved the promotion, the new job title, the increased income, and every other good thing that might come from a move to LA.

The West Coast office would be run by Marcy with Jared and Jen there to help just as Whitney and Jared had been there to help Ali with the Cambridge office. Marcy was the boss, but the two other shareholders would be active participants in every aspect of the business on a daily basis. Hilary would also be very present, although not on an every single day basis. But as one of the founding partners she would be very involved as well.

Rounding out the rest of the staff for the LA office had taken some time but was almost complete. That was what Ali was there for that September, to finalize a few last hires. Their business wasn’t going to stop and then start up again with the new office. The agents and staff they hired in the second half of 2034 started on a rolling basis. It was just the physical office location itself that was ‘opening’ in January 2035. They would market the hell out of it and do it right, but the actual work itself was already under way and Jen, Marcy, Jared, and Hilary were already getting set up out there that Fall.

“Well, who would have believed this day would ever come?” the accomplished agent with over 10 years of experience smiled at Ali and Marcy as the three women sat down together in the lobby of Ali’s Los Angeles hotel.

“I sure as hell never thought I’d see it” Marcy chuckled. “The last time the three of us sat together like this was...a lot different, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, you fired my ass and ruined a perfectly good summer internship for me” the agent replied with an embarrassed smile. She was trying to joke but take responsibility for her bad behavior at the same time. “It was one of the best things that ever happened to me though, that’s for sure.”

Ali wasn’t enjoying the trip down memory lane but it was hard to argue with what was being said. It was all true. Paula Curdo – the slutty intern who had thrown herself all over Ashlyn back in the summer of 2019 was back in Ali’s life again. This time as a welcome applicant for an agent’s position at the new K-H West office. Ali herself couldn’t believe it was actually happening either. But Paula had learned her lesson. Ali had kept loose tabs on her career over the years and most of it had been pretty impressive out on the West Coast. Once she got back on track after being fired by K-H that summer, Paula started to do good work in the industry. The biggest splash she had ever made was the sexual assault scandal from 2026 involving the powerful owner of the LA Lakers. Paula had made headlines for all the wrong reasons but had proven to be tougher and smarter than anybody had given her credit for. She even gave Ali props when it was all over, crediting the time she had spent with her at K-H for helping prepare her for what it would take to survive in this industry, especially as a woman. Ali had been watching her career closely after that. Now that K-H was in LA it seemed almost destined for Ali and Paula to meet again and see where things stood between them.

“Thanks for meeting with me Ali” Paula gave the older woman a sincere smile as they stood up to shake hands after the hour-long meeting. “I think you’ve already figured this out or I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you, but I’m not the same dumb kid I was 15 years ago.”

Ali did know that, and Paula was right about their meeting. If Ali and Ashlyn and the rest of the K-H shareholders weren’t ok with Paula Curdo, then Ali and Marcy wouldn’t be wasting their time with her at all. But the whole group had listened to Marcy’s rational presentation of facts about the potential new K-H agent, and then Ali’s personal assurance that she harbored no animosity for the woman, and agreed that they should seriously consider adding Paula to the West Coast team. The woman was good at what she did. Very good. Instead of having her steal clients away from them, why not bring her back into the fold? At least give it a shot on a temporary trial basis. 

The 15 years hadn’t hurt her much in the looks department. Paula was still beautiful and her body was in very good shape. But the youthful cockiness and bounce in her step, and other places, was gone. It had been replaced by something even more attractive, at least to most people. Paula had an air of confidence about her now that Ali knew was a big part of the younger woman’s success. And that confidence would serve her well as she continued to age – it never looked old on anybody. Ali could barely believe the words she was hearing come out of her own mouth as she replied to the 36-year old.

“I know you’re not, but I appreciate you saying it. We’ll need to talk over some internal staffing situations” she nodded at Marcy, “but I think this is going to work out well for all of us. We’ll be in touch next week.”

//

Ashlyn hated when Ali was away on business trips. It didn’t happen all that often but when it did the keeper felt out of sorts the whole time until her beautiful brunette returned home again. Of course, she didn’t admit this to anybody except her wife. But those closest to her knew it was something Ashlyn just didn’t do well with. To be fair, Ali hated when her wife was away too. But the brunette had been dealing with it since the very beginning of their relationship and had learned how to cope with it better than Ashlyn had. Ali only travelled occasionally, and usually just for a night or two away. Sometimes she needed to be gone for longer, but those trips, usually to the west coast to do a sweeping swing through to meet numerous college athlete prospects, were few and far between. 

When Ali was away Ashlyn’s eyes seemed to find small sightings of her everywhere – through her things. Small things. Small things all around the house, simple everyday things that made the keeper think of her wife. There were the hair ties looped around the doorknob of the master bathroom. Ashlyn caught sight of them in the morning when she was brushing her teeth or at night when she was washing her face and she smiled as she thought about the brunette in there with her, doing the same thing, her dark hair up in one of those ties. 

There was her favorite coffee cup, put away up in the cupboard and waiting to be called into use again by the beautiful brunette. Ashlyn saw it every morning and it made her smile. By Thursday that week she smiled and then almost immediately felt so sad when her brain processed all the meaning and longing attached to the coffee mug. Ashlyn used the mug herself that morning, drawing a tiny bit of strength from it with every sip of coffee.

So many of Ali’s things did that to Ashlyn that week - that long, lonely week. Her hair brush on the dressing table, her car keys hanging on the hook in the mudroom, her moisturizer sitting on the bathroom vanity, her little handwritten notes – one taped to each kid’s door reminding them that they could call or text her anytime they wanted or needed to, her clothes waiting neatly in her closet for her return, hell, even the damned incoming mail gave Ashlyn a small thrill when she saw her wife’s name on it. All the evidence of their life together, proof that the woman of Ashlyn’s dreams really did exist and had actually agreed to marry her and spend the rest of her life with her. It seemed silly, really, but those little things were what got the keeper through Ali’s longer work trips.

That year, 2034, Ali had already made a couple of 5-day trips to LA to get the new West Coast office set up and staffed. In mid-September she went again for what she hoped would be the final full week trip. She made that trip even longer, hoping to make that wish come true. Staying away for 10 days in September would negate the need to go back in November or December, she hoped. The plan was to fly to LA on Sunday September 17th and work there for the full week, then fly to North Carolina on the red-eye Monday night, September 25th. She and Ashlyn were going to the Mia Hamm golf tournament that year and the brunette had planned the rest of her September travel and work schedule around it. The two wives would spend Tuesday and Wednesday together in NC and then return home Thursday.

“I know, I miss you too” Ashlyn sighed dejectedly into the phone Sunday night. “It was a long week and...I don’t know, you know how I hate Sunday nights apart” her voice got quieter as she spoke and Ali could practically hear the sad look on her face.

“I know babe, and now it’s been two of them in a row. I’m sorry.”

“I know” Ashlyn sighed, feeling foolish. “I know I’m being a baby” her voice was so quiet that Ali almost couldn’t hear her at all. “I can’t help it.”

“Ash, honey, it’s ok” Ali soothed, wanting nothing more in that moment than to be able to reach out and hug her lonely wife. “I’m missing you like crazy too. I tell you every day how hard it is to be away from all of you...”

“Yeah, but you’re just saying that to make me feel better, to make me feel like less of a pathetic idiot” the keeper admitted one of her biggest fears but disguised it, as best she could, in a joking way.

“No, you are definitely a pathetic idiot” Ali teased her right back with a soft giggle, “but I am too. That’s what I’m saying babe.”

They were quiet for a few seconds, just breathing and listening and missing.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” Ali asked, trying to change the subject so one or both of them didn’t start crying. They really were being ridiculous but they honestly didn’t like being apart for that long. Neither of them did well with long separations, they never had and they never would. “Tobin picking you up at the airport?”

Ashlyn had made arrangements with the grandma brigade to watch the kids for an extra day so she could sneak down to North Carolina early and see her Tarheel buddies.

“Yeah” Ashlyn took a deep breath and exhaled loudly as she shook off the weepy emotions and tried to focus on the fact that she would be seeing her wife in just over 31 hours. “Christen’s coming too, last minute change.”

“Oh awesome!” Ali enthused. “Wait, does she golf now?”

“She just started but she’s pretty good” Ashlyn chuckled as she remembered Tobin’s most recent report on the subject. “She likes feeling connected to the grass and all the nature on the golf course.”

“I’ll bet” Ali laughed softly. “Good for her. Tobin’s gonna be so mad when Chris starts playing better than her.”

“Definitely” Ashlyn grinned. “And it won’t take long either. Tobes is so impatient...”

“Oh this is gonna be so much fun. I can’t wait!”

“Me either sugarplum.”

They talked for a few more minutes about kid stuff and dog stuff and house stuff and then Ali started the ritual they had always used during their nightly travel calls. 

“Ok, so high/low for today...go.”

“Hmmmm...ok, low was definitely trying to help Drew with his Algebra homework tonight” the keeper groaned but then chuckled. “Thanks again for that Al.”

“No problem” the brunette loved feeling needed like that, even if it was just for Algebra homework.

The two moms hadn’t officially made a plan of attack but it had developed organically over the years, based on their interests and skill sets. It got harder and harder every year to keep up with the kids in all manner of things. Ali and Ashlyn were constantly fighting an uphill battle to stay tuned in to what the kids were doing and to try to avoid becoming old and obsolete moms who didn’t know how to work the newest music app or figure out the occasional Algebra problem. True to form, Ashlyn stayed up to date with all the new technology and apps the kids were into, and Ali kept up with most of the homework stuff – like new math. There would always be a part of Ali that resented that part of Ashlyn for being the cooler mom – and this situation lent itself perfectly to that scenario. Of course Ashlyn was the one who better understood the new music and game technology. And of course Ali was the one who figured out the new homework stuff. It’s just who they were and how they functioned in the world. Nothing changed just because they were parents too. But in true Ali and Ashlyn fashion – they helped each other out. Ali had given her wife the Algebra advice for Drew tonight, and Ashlyn had given the brunette an answer to a technology gadget question Lily had asked her yesterday afternoon. They tried to keep each other up to speed as much as possible, but they both had their own strengths and weaknesses and no amount of effort was ever going to change that.

“And the high, aside from right now of course” they had made a rule that they weren’t allowed to include the nightly call as the day’s high. They both lived for those calls so they uniformly disqualified them from the game.

“Of course...” Ali chuckled and was relieved to hear her keeper sounding happier.

“The high was that Barca game – what a win!”

“Even though you had to watch it on DVR?” Ali clarified, wishing she had been able to watch the La Liga game with her wife and kids too.

“Yeah, it was still incredible!”

“Who watched with you tonight? Anybody?” the brunette asked.

“Drew was still up and, uh, I MIGHT have let everybody stay up until halftime...”

“If the game was as good as you say then I’d say that was an ok call” Ali let her wife off the hook. Staying up late for soccer every once in a while was allowed, right?

“Whew” Ashlyn laughed, genuinely relieved her confession had been received so well. “How about you? High/low?”

“Low today was the mess with the carpet in the new building” Ali rolled her eyes even though she knew her wife couldn’t see her. “Marcy should have jumped all over it and I don’t know why she didn’t...”

“Yeah, but you do, right?”

“No. I don’t” Ali furrowed her brow, slightly annoyed.

“Baby we talked about this” Ashlyn reminded her gently. “Marcy’s stuck between being the boss of everything there and letting you do your thing when you’re out there. This happens with something every time you’re there.”

Ashlyn was right and Ali knew it.

“Damn. Why don’t I ever remember that while it’s happening?” the brunette let out a frustrated sigh.

“Because you just want to fix shit and get it done” the keeper supplied that answer as well. “If you weren’t there I KNOW Marcy would have handled it differently. She’s gonna do great honey. There’s nobody I trust to do your job better than her.”

“Thanks, I think” Ali laughed and sighed again.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, you’re right” the brunette acquiesced. “My high today is embarrassing...”

“Aw you can tell me. I promise I won’t even tease you about it, whatever it is” Ashlyn gallantly offered her encouragement. 

“Ok, ummm...my high was feeling needed tonight. You know, with the Algebra...”

“Aw, that’s adorable. Why is that embarrassing?”

“Because it’s all ego driven and shallow” Ali explained sheepishly. “I’m feeling far away and lonely and missing all of you and...I don’t know. I shouldn’t need stuff like that to make me feel good. But it does. I can’t help it” she admitted in a quiet voice.

“It’s ok Al. I feel the same way when it’s me who’s out of town.”

“You do?”

“I totally do. And it’s the strangest thing because you don’t think it’s gonna hit you like that, until it does. One of them will call or text me something and all of a sudden I realize how great it feels to be needed and missed like that.”

“You never told me that before. That’s really sweet babe.”

“It’s hard to be the one away” Ashlyn continued, her voice soft and tender. “It’s hard as fuck being the one here by yourself too” she giggled. “No doubt about it. But being away is really hard too, just in a different way.”

“I love you so much Ash. Thanks for, you know, getting me. You’ve always understood me better than almost anyone else.”

“Almost anyone else?” the keeper quipped.

“Well, Syd...”

“Syd has some kind of tracking device inside your brain I think” they both laughed at Ashlyn’s joke. “No, really. You can’t convince me that’s not true.”

“No argument from me” Ali chuckled as a comfortable quiet filled the long distance between them. “It’s late there love, you should get some sleep.”

“I’m a big girl now, you don’t need to tell me when to go to bed” Ashlyn challenged playfully, stifling a yawn.

“I need you to be rested up for this week. Your body needs sleep so it can perform and keep up with me.”

“Oh I’ll keep up with you on the course hon, don’t you worry about that” Ashlyn’s cockiness was always something Ali loved. “I’ve been working on my putting this week...”

The brunette replied just as cockily with a sultry tone of voice.

“Who said I was talking about golf?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody wants to go back and refresh their memories about Paula Curdo here are the chapters:  
> Part 4, Chapter 11 is where we meet her back in the summer of 2019; Chapter 14 is where she makes her move on Ashlyn; Chapter 15 is when Ali lowers the boom on her.  
> Part 7, Chapter 14 is when Paula makes national headlines in 2026 and publicly thanks Ali for teaching her so much during her brief internship.


	9. Still, and Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning

As was always the case after any kind of separation, Ashlyn and Ali relished in the reunion at the trip’s end. They had reconnected in their favorite way, naked and in love, Tuesday morning at the hotel in Durham, North Carolina. The sweet excitement of picking the beautiful brunette up at the airport at 5am was well worth the early wake-up call for the keeper. Ashlyn stood there looking adorable in sweats, a beanie, glasses, and an enormous grin. She gave her girl the small bouquet of flowers she had bought the evening before, keeping them wet and alive overnight, and then took her back to the hotel where they both stripped, made out for a half hour, and then promptly fell asleep in each other’s arms. So much of the good stuff. Only after a nap and then a very late breakfast that might as well have been lunch did they get to the sex.

They both had fond memories of their many other trips to the same hotel for the same charity golf tournament. They didn’t attend every year but they did their best to fit it into their schedule as often as possible. It was something they both looked forward to once parental responsibilities finally stopped getting in the way. They had talked about making it a full week-long trip at some point in the future. There were plenty of fond memories but there were just as many hot and sexy ones for the pair to look back on too. They did have their fun on those NC trips, however brief their stay was each time. They made private time a priority and made no apologies for it either. Instead of staying out late with Ashlyn’s UNC friends, the couple said an early goodnight the first night of the 2-day golf event and went back to the hotel and spent the night having sex. They didn’t have a ton of time on those short trips but they made it count.

This year, after 9 long nights apart, was no exception. But this year they started early and were lucky to make it to the welcoming dinner and reception Tuesday night at all. But they weren’t young anymore. They were grown ass, middle age, professional women with business interests to represent and work to do during the event. Mingling and networking during the opening night festivities was some of the most important work either of them would do during the whole event. Accepting that fact didn’t make it any easier to separate themselves and get out of bed late that Tuesday afternoon.

“Who was it this time?” Ali asked as she stepped out of the shower that had started with both of them in it.

“Yael, she’s got a couple of new products she wants to show us” Ashlyn replied as she finished typing a reply into her phone and put it down on the bathroom counter. “They look pretty cool actually...”

“Stuff for The Academy?”

“Yeah, mostly” the keeper nodded and then beamed when she saw her wife’s naked body in front of her. “God you’re gorgeous.”

“So are you” Ali’s lust-filled eyes raked up and down her keeper’s topless front, frowning for a split second at the annoying towel wrapped around her waist and blocking the brunette’s view.

The two desirous women took a step towards each other, neither wanting to be the one who course corrected them back to getting ready for the reception. They locked hungry eyes and let their hands wander up and down arms and abs and shoulders and tattooed sides. There was a foot of distance between them that neither of them dared to breach. They both knew if they got that close together, especially while still naked, that they would spend the next half hour having sex again and show up late to the reception. It had been 4 hours since they finished eating their late breakfast/early lunch and they had managed to give each other 3 orgasms in three spirited rounds of sexcapades. The first had been fast and furious, as usual. The desperate urgency to feel each other in the most intimate way pushed all other thoughts of relishing languidly in their lover’s body aside. The second round, after a long talk cuddled up together, had been slower but still fairly urgent. The third round, after a break for water, bathroom, snacks, and calls home to the grandmas to check in, had finally been the slow and deliberate lovemaking that they had grown to love more and more over the years. Neither woman was done yet and they looked forward to picking up where they had left off when they returned to their room later that night. Of course they’d meet friends for a few drinks after the reception and dinner, but both Ali and Ashlyn felt the same strong need to be together that night too. Absence made not only the heart, but the pussy grow fonder as well.

After some provocative dirty talk whispered discreetly to one another at the bar after dinner, Ashlyn and Ali burst into their hotel room later that night, barely able to keep their hands off of each other. They stripped as they moved towards the bed, completely oblivious to the fact that the room had been cleaned during their absence. They could stop later and appreciate that fact. Ashlyn was the bossy one this go around and Ali was just fine with that. As with so many other things about their relationship, they both enjoyed being the boss in the bedroom from time to time. Theirs was truly a partnership based on equality in all things. Except for spiders and vomit and dog poop and vehicle maintenance. Ali handled the spiders and vomit and Ashlyn took care of the dog poop and vehicle maintenance. Yes, when they were single they had both done what they had to do, but since getting together those had been the parameters almost since day one. 

“Fuck baby...” Ashlyn husked out as she watched her wife step out of the pale green summer sheath dress that she had been rocking that night. “You’re stunning in that dress, but even more gorgeous out of it...God damn...” she pushed the brunette backwards onto the bed, making Ali laugh low in her throat as she bounced there.

“I’m not even naked yet” she chuckled as she inched her way up to the middle of the bed, never taking her eyes off of her keeper who stood at the foot of the bed and finished removing the rest of her own clothes.

“Well you’d better get naked unless you want me to fuck you like that” Ashlyn nodded down at her wife who still wore a pretty, light blue panty and bra set, complete with pantyhose still in place.

“How bout I take care of the top and you take care of the bottom, ok?” Ali smirked as she reached behind her own back to unhook her bra.

“Fine” Ashlyn gave her a dark, hungry look but the half smile/half smirk on her face made it sexy instead of scary. “But only because this shit is in my way” she replied as she grabbed the brunette by her ankles and pulled her down closer to the foot of the bed.

“Oh!” Ali gasped out and then giggled at the sudden show of strength that never failed to turn her on and get her wetter than ever. “Fuck, babe...”

“I’m gonna rip these right off of you...” Ashlyn announced lustfully as she reached for the waistband of the pantyhose from her position standing and leaning over her wife at the foot of the bed. She pulled up short, her face totally changing and coming out of character for a split second as she searched Ali’s eyes for permission. “Unless... do you need these tomorrow?...”

“What?” Ali was already distracted by the desire flooding her system and it took her a second to understand what her wife was asking. “No, no...” she shook her head quickly, heart overflowing with love for how considerate Ashlyn was, even in moments like this one. “Rip away Sugar...do whatever you want with me...” she drawled back.

They made out passionately for a long time once they were both naked, with Ashlyn on top of the brunette, both of them moaning and whimpering and panting their want. Ali was tempted to flip their positions and let her mouth enjoy the dessert it really craved, between Ashlyn’s legs, but she knew the keeper was steering the ship right then and chose to bide her time instead.

“Ashlyn...please...” she gasped out when she felt like she couldn’t stand another probing kiss or tantalizing touch from her sexy keeper without feeling her deep in her core. “I want you... inside...”

Hearing the desperate words fueled Ashlyn’s fire. She kissed her way down the brunette’s chest at a pace faster than she would normally use, but she heard the need in Ali’s voice. She could feel the ache in her own clit as their bodies writhed together on the bed, working towards another blissful release. Ashlyn covered her wife’s swollen clit with her mouth as her long fingers started to tease the frustrated brunette’s entrance. She took turns sucking the sensitive bud into her mouth and then blowing her hot breath onto it and making Ali squeal with pleasure.

“I can’t wait to be inside you baby...” the keeper mumbled into Ali’s bundle of nerves. “God, you smell so fucking good...”

“Ash!” the brunette squeaked out and then moaned as she felt the strong fingers she loved so much slide into her dripping pussy. “Mmmmm...fuck, yes...”

Ali used one hand to play with her own stiff nipples while she held onto the top of her wife’s short blonde hair with the other. Her legs were bent at the knees and pulled up and out to her sides as far as they would go. She couldn’t make herself more open if she tried. She wanted all of Ashlyn, every inch of her, somehow, to be inside her in that moment. The sound of her drenched folds meeting her keeper’s right hand as it slapped against them made Ali dizzy with desire. How in the world could she still be so turned on? They had fucked all afternoon already. How did Ashlyn still make her feel so aroused and ravenous? How??

“Mmmm...” Ashlyn moaned against Ali’s clit, loving the way her wife’s body squirmed and bounced with her as she began pumping her two middle fingers up into her pulsing center. “So fucking sexy...fuck me...” she mumbled as she sucked and then flicked Ali’s clit some more.  
Things escalated quickly after that. Ali’s whole body was like a live wire, just waiting for that one spark to send it jolting everywhere, all at once. Ashlyn thrusted harder and faster with her right hand while she kept working on the brunette’s clit with her mouth. They were both sweating and panting and moaning and gasping for air.

“Unnnhhh...fuck...don’t...stop...” Ali’s husky voice was barely audible over the sloshing and slapping and heavy breathing.

Just as she was about to come, Ali felt her keeper stop moving her fingers inside her. She whined and waited patiently for Ashlyn to readjust or...whatever.

“Shit...” the keeper pulled her mouth away from her wife’s engorged, ripe pussy and took a few seconds to flex her right hand. 

“Baby, please...I’m so close...” Ali begged, one hand still tugging on her own nipples and the other hand sliding down to her own thigh and back up, as if it would help spur things along.

“Yeah you are” Ashlyn put her mouth back in place and sucked hard. “I’ve got you gorgeous...” she moaned out as she nibbled gently on some of Ali’s softest flesh.

“Fuck! Yes!” the brunette arched her back and used both hands to pull her wife’s face closer to her throbbing pussy. “Your fingers...please...fuck me baby...”

Ashlyn groaned with desire as she felt Ali’s juices on her cheeks and chin. She closed her mouth and let the brunette grind against her face, both hands firmly holding the back of her blonde head in place. The keeper slid a finger back inside her wife’s throbbing core and started to pump again, slower than previously.

“More...two...harder...like before...” Ali urged, her voice increasingly desperate with each fleeting second. “I’m so close. I’m right there” she whined and released her wife’s head in confusion.

Ashlyn fumbled for another minute, lifting her head up as she switched hands, eyes darting up to the most beautiful face she had ever seen and back down again.

“Sorry, I’ve got you now...” she mumbled as she started to thrust with her left hand. The rhythm was off and even the sound of her voice was different. 

It took too long for the brunette. Ali couldn’t wait. She had been hovering right at the edge for what felt like forever but was actually only about 2 minutes. But 2 minutes was an eternity when you were about to come. 

“What the fuck?” Ali gasped out in her hazy chase towards orgasm. She didn’t know what was going on. Her brain wasn’t able to focus on anything but getting off. She used one hand on her nipples again and brought her other hand down to rub her own clit, hard and fast. “Mmmmm...yes...fuck...harder baby...”

Ashlyn kept two fingers from her left hand inside her sexy wife and did her best to make them match what her right hand normally did. She watched Ali’s body go through its usual magnificent motions right before an orgasm swept through it, but she wanted to cry. No, she wanted to punch something, hard. No, she wanted to run away, far far away and never come back. No...

“Ashlyn!! Yesssssssss!!!..” Ali shouted as she came hard. 

She pulled her fingers away from her own clit and let her body ride out the wave of pleasure with shakes and spasms. She was vaguely, somewhere far away, aware of missing Ashlyn. She knew she was there with her because she could feel her fingers inside her, even though they were still. But the keeper didn’t say anything or do anything else. Usually she would hold part of Ali’s body, her thigh in this particular position, or crawl up and hug her while the orgasm worked its magic. But this time there was nothing. As the brunette started to come down she felt her wife slide her fingers out of her without another word. When Ali finally opened her eyes a few seconds later, Ashlyn was gone entirely.

“Hey...Allstar, can I come in?” Ali’s soft voice asked outside the closed bathroom door of the hotel room. 

It had taken her a few minutes to regain the use of her legs after the big orgasm but as soon as she was able, she checked on her wife.

“No.”

“What’s the matter?” she frowned, starting to get officially worried. “Are you ok honey?”

There was no reply which only made Ali more anxious.

“Ash, baby, please let me in” she tried again, her voice tender and full of love and concern. “You’re freaking me out.”

It took another full minute for the keeper to reply and she did so only because Ali tried to open the door and found it locked.

“Just...I’ll be out in a minute...I’m fine” Ashlyn’s voice told her wife everything she needed to know – the keeper was not fine at all.

“Babe, what’s going on? You’re not fine. You’re locked in the bathroom and I...I don’t know what happened.”

There was another long pause and Ali really started to worry. She tried to go back over the hot sex they had just had and the huge orgasm. What the hell was happening? 

“Ash, did I...” she sucked in a breath as she gathered her courage. Her voice was sad and timid when she finally finished her question. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What?” That got Ashlyn’s attention. “No, of course you didn’t do anything wrong. Jesus...” The idea that Ali had caused the disruption in their sex just now was more than the blonde could bear. There was another break in the stilted conversation and just when Ali was about to try again, the keeper’s terse words came through the door. “It was my fucking fault. Not yours.”

“Fault?” Ali shook her head and took a step back as if the confusing words themselves had pushed her. “What are you talking about? I just had an amazing orgasm. I know you know this because you were there” she chuckled softly, still unsure what approach to try and take with her obviously troubled keeper. “How is there any fault involved in that?” she took a few seconds to make sure she had heard what she thought she had heard. “Ashlyn, this is ridiculous” she put her hands on her hips, fully frustrated now. “Come out here and talk to me.” 

It took a little bit more cajoling, but finally the keeper unlocked the bathroom door and retreated to her spot inside the bathtub, towel wrapped protectively around her entire torso. When Ali opened the door and took in the scene she knew something was definitely wrong. Ashlyn was a borderline germaphobe and she wasn’t one to hang out in strange bathtubs unless there was a very good, sexy time, reason to. And she never wore her towel up under her armpits like that unless there were other people around. It was always wrapped around her hips when it was just the two of them, even at home on a regular day. The brunette couldn’t imagine what was going on and her mind had been working in overdrive to try and figure it out while she waited for entrance into the bathroom. But she knew that it was something serious. There’s no way Ashlyn would bail in the middle of sex like that otherwise. Ali knew she had to tread carefully. She had a quick flashback to her earliest days with the blonde – back in the summer of 2015 when they were new friends. The brunette had learned to bite her tongue and let Ashlyn tell her things in her own time. 

“Hey” Ali said softly as she crossed to the tub, bent over and kissed her wife’s cheek. She had been going for Ashlyn’s lips but the keeper turned her head away right at the last second. That wasn’t good. “Ok, ummm...” the brunette stalled, trying to come up with a plan. “I love you Ash” she pressed another warm kiss into the blonde’s cheek and stood up again. She would buy a little time. “I’m gonna pee and then we’re gonna go out there and talk, ok?”

Ashlyn didn’t say anything else while they were in the bathroom. She wouldn’t even look at the brunette which Ali knew was a red flag. Ashlyn always got a good look in whenever the brunette was naked. Always. It was one of the sweetest, most endearing things about her, in Ali’s eyes.

“Come on then” she bent down and tugged on her wife’s bicep after peeing and washing her own hands. “Let’s go get comfortable at least” she tried another approach. When the keeper still didn’t move, Ali went deeper into her bag of tricks. Both moms were experts at getting their kids motivated – by whatever means necessary. “You really gonna sit in this hotel bathtub like this?” the brunette quirked an eyebrow before delivering the line she hoped would get her wife up and moving. “Lord knows what’s gone on in there...yuck.”

Ali had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing when Ashlyn practically launched herself up and out of the tub immediately after the ‘yuck’ had registered in her addled brain. The brunette took advantage of the action and gently pulled her keeper towards the bathroom door. The fact that Ashlyn hadn’t been bothered by the tub until Ali mentioned it was another ominous sign. The brunette paused there by the door and tried to take the towel from her wife, but the keeper held tightly to it and shook her head.

“No. I want it.”

She didn’t have a psychology degree to rely on, but Ali realized that her wife was feeling very insecure and self-conscious about...something. And it seemed to have happened while they were having sex. The brunette was truly stumped. What could she have possibly said or done that had caused this kind of reaction from her sweet wife?

“Sweetheart, will you please tell me what’s going on?” Ali asked when they were back in bed. 

Ashlyn sat propped up against the headboard, on her usual side of the bed, towel still in place, covers pulled up to her waist, arms folded across her chest, eyes down in her lap. Ali sat cross-legged next to her but turned and facing her, one hand resting on her keeper’s bare thigh under the covers and the other gently rubbing the inked looking glass handle on her left arm. 

“It’s nothing, really” Ashlyn finally made eye contact in a blatant attempt to ‘get this over with’. “Can we just go to sleep now, please?” she even tried her puppy dog eyes, half-hearted as they were at the moment, to get her way.

“No way” Ali shook her head and fought the wave of anger that was rising inside her. It was late and she was tired and this was starting to piss her off now. She kept her voice calm and steady as she met her wife’s troubled eyes. “I’m exhausted but I’ll never be able to sleep knowing you’re so upset. And I’m not gonna just let this go. So. Please just tell me so we can fix whatever...”

“What if it can’t be fixed?!” Ashlyn snapped, surprising both of them with her harsh delivery. “Did you ever think about that? Not everything, or everybody,” she closed her eyes and slumped her shoulders as she paused for just a second on that word, all the fire gone from her voice just as quickly as it had appeared, “...can be fixed.”

Ali’s heart thudded in her chest as her mind went to several scary places, one right after the other. The most terrifying thing that had happened with Ashlyn recently was the breast cancer scare. Before the brunette had a chance to try and gather herself back up from that paralyzing fear, Ashlyn spoke again. This time her voice was soft and warm and her eyes were full of remorse.

“No, it’s not that. Fuck” she closed her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Please, I’m begging you...” Ali whispered, her bottom lip trembling slightly. 

When Ashlyn opened her eyes and saw the distress on her wife’s face, she crumbled. The words tumbled freely from her lips, even as her throat tried to close up around them. She kept the rest of her body still, not moving at all. Her face was twisted in anguish that was at least 50% regret for the stress she was currently causing her wife.

“It’s my hands...well, just the one really. So far. The other one’s not bad. Not yet. My fingers...sometimes... aw shit. I’m sorry baby. I don’t know how to fix it, how to fix them. I don’t know what to do, but I fucking hate this. I can’t even...can’t even...” 

Ali’s mind spun as she took in her wife’s rattled words. She had to repeat everything back to herself in her head just to make sense of them. Her hands? Not breast cancer. Hands. Fingers. 

“Honey...” Ali tried to get her wife’s attention and interrupt her agitated rambling. “Ash...Babe...Ashlyn...”

The keeper stopped talking and blinked dejectedly at her beautiful brunette. Ali took a steadying breath and tried to think of what to say. In the brief quiet, Ashlyn’s sheepish voice was barely audible.

“I’m sorry...”

“Sorry for what, love?” Ali cocked her head, trying hard to understand. “Tell me, please. I’m not getting it, and I’m sorry...” she gave her keeper a warm, hopeful smile. “Please, sweetheart, please tell me.”

It took Ashlyn a minute to get her shit together enough to form the words. They were words she hated to even think, forget about actually utter out loud. She dropped her eyes again, unable to look into her wife’s face. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment she was sure to find in those tiger eyes when Ali finally learned the secret Ashlyn had been keeping from her.

“I can’t...my fingers...” she tried again, willing herself to just spit it out. “They don’t work right all the time anymore. Like...tonight” she blushed and focused her eyes on her arms, both still folded across her chest, hands hidden in her armpits.

The brunette’s mind spun again, putting the words together with the sex they had just had. Is that what happened? She had been so distracted by all the pleasure her wife was giving her that she wasn’t sure of the sequence of events that had gotten her to the mountaintop. The time she took trying to revisit what Ashlyn had done to her body was too much for the keeper. Ashlyn’s shame took over when no reassurance was heard.

“I had to stop, like some fucking teenager who didn’t know what she was doing” the blonde finally explained in a quiet, embarrassed voice. “My fingers got too sore and I had to stop...and then, my left hand isn’t as good...” she mumbled, mortified to be having this conversation with her wife.

“But you did get me off, babe” Ali gave her wife a confused look. “You gave me an awesome orgasm...”

“No, I didn’t” the keeper looked up, with sad, frustrated, embarrassed eyes. “You did it. I couldn’t get you there...”

“I mean, I might have rubbed my clit at the very end” Ali scrunched her face up as she tried hard to remember. “But since when do we care about that? Four hands are better than two, right?” she quoted the oft-repeated sexy times phrase that had served them well since the very beginning of their sexual relationship. “Why is tonight any different?”

“Because I couldn’t do it for you. You weren’t just adding your hand in because you felt like it. You had to get yourself off because I couldn’t fucking do it. That’s what’s different.”

Ashlyn looked so crestfallen that it broke Ali’s heart. The brunette tried to put herself in her wife’s position and she had to admit that it would have crushed her if she couldn’t perform the way she always had, especially at such a crucial time. One of Ali’s biggest fears when they had first started having sex was that she would disappoint her keeper in the bedroom. Ashlyn’s more experienced and skilled boudoir techniques had been intimidating sometimes back then. Ali would have been mortified if something like that had happened to her, regardless of whether or not it had just been inexperience or a lack of endurance. Poor, sweet Ashlyn. Ali had to choose her words carefully. She hadn’t seen her wife this fragile in a very long time. But she couldn’t take too long. All she could feel in her heart, the only thought in her head, would have to do.

“I love you” Ali swallowed and scooched closer to her wife, rubbing both her thigh and arm slowly – trying to press her love right into her keeper’s very skin. “I love you so much it fucking terrifies me sometimes. I love you so much...” she leaned forward and cupped Ashlyn’s face with both hands, locking eyes with her. “No matter what. Forever.”

They shared a moment of pure love, so strong that even Ashlyn in her current demoralized state could feel it. Stormy hazel eyes found love and acceptance and forgiveness and understanding in her beloved wife’s whiskey colored ones.

“But...” the keeper started to object.

“But nothing” Ali cut her off and kissed her lips. “I don’t care if your fingers work or not, not on me anyway, not between us. But you need to be honest with me from now on.”

Ali got up and straddled Ashlyn’s lap, moving the covers out of the way and wishing the towel wasn’t between their bodies. She pulled her wife’s right hand away from her armpit and held it delicately between her own two hands as she spoke.

“I love this hand and these fingers exactly the way they are. And if they change some more, well” she shrugged, “I’m gonna love them even more then.”

She raised Ashlyn’s right hand to her own lips and gently kissed all four fingers before turning it over and doing the same to her palm. The keeper wanted to object but the look of devotion and adoration on Ali’s face moved her immensely. She could tell that the brunette was speaking directly from her heart and with complete sincerity. It was an incredible feeling. 

Maybe, just maybe there was a way for the two of them to work through this. Maybe it didn’t have to be the end of the world, as the keeper had feared for so long. The painful aches and sharp stabs of pain in the fingers of her right hand had been gradually getting worse over the past couple of years. If she was being honest with herself, it was kind of a relief that Ali knew now. It certainly wasn’t the way Ashlyn would have wished she had found out. But at least she didn’t have to hide it anymore. It was only going to get more and more difficult too, if her mother’s hands were any indication of what the keeper had to look forward to.

“You ok?” Ali’s tender voice broke through the blonde’s thoughts as they continued to gaze into each other’s eyes.

“Yeah, I think so” Ashlyn nodded shyly. “Thanks.”

“Thank you” Ali giggled softly and gave her wife’s lips a gentle kiss. “I’m the one who had the amazing orgasm.”

“Yeah?” Ashlyn’s face lifted in a small, tentative smile as the brunette kissed her again.

“Hell yeah” Ali grinned and gave another round of kisses to her wife’s right hand.

“I’m sorry if I scared you” Ashlyn apologized as she watched the love of her life minister to her troublesome fingers. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s ok” Ali smiled back as she carefully pulled her wife’s other hand to her lips. “I mean, my heart stopped for a minute. I won’t lie” she admitted with another soft, forgiving smile. “But I think that’s just how it’s gonna be for me for a little while, you know? But I’m getting better about it.”

“I totally get it” Ashlyn nodded and blinked up at her wife. They were quiet for a couple of minutes as the brunette reverently kissed every finger of her keeper’s left hand. “You’re really...ok with this?” Ashlyn’s timid voice asked one last time, the blonde still needing another bit of reassurance, as she turned her right hand over and back again in the space between them.

“Honey” Ali took both of Ashlyn’s hands in her own and gave her one of the most genuine and tender smiles she had ever given. “I’m sorry your fingers are hurting you, and we’ll see what we can find out about helping them hurt less” she replied earnestly, never taking her eyes off of her keeper’s still slightly anxious face. “But I’m completely ok with them, and you, no matter what” her smile turned into a full beam that filled her entire face and made Ashlyn’s heart burst with love and gratitude. “Always, babe” the brunette leaned forward and pressed a long, slow kiss to her keeper’s lips. Ali exhaled softly a moment later, lips still only an inch from Ashlyn’s, as the brunette breathed out one last word. “Forever.”

//

The golf tournament itself was always a lot of fun and very competitive. Current and former professional athletes and their people didn’t like to lose, ever - not for any reason, no matter how good the cause was. But there could only be one winning foursome each year and neither Ashlyn nor Ali had ever been part of it. Mia Hamm was 62 years old and had been part of several winning foursomes over the years for the charity tournament. She was a very accomplished golfer. The push for the past couple of years was to get younger celebrity golfers involved in the fun – the next generation. Mia always had her Tarheel connection working in her favor and several of the newest professional athletes from her alma mater had agreed to come and golf for a good cause, and for a fellow UNC alum. Michael Jordan was still the biggest draw in the history of the 35-year event, but many other superstar athletes had also made appearances.

Ali and Ashlyn had more fun when their foursome was all women, but that didn’t happen every year. Mia was always nice enough to make sure the wives golfed together though. She understood that they used that tournament as together time for themselves. She checked in every year the Kriegers participated though, not all married participants wanted to spend the day together. That year, Ali and Ashlyn were paired up with two young athletes who had just graduated from UNC that May and were about to embark on their first season as professional athletes. One young man was a star basketball player who had been drafted by the Chicago Bulls that June, and the other was a highly sought after baseball player who had been drafted by the New York Yankees in July. They were nice enough but neither of them was particularly interested in much conversation with the two middle-aged wives.

It was ok. Sometimes that happened, especially when men and women played together in a scramble format like they were doing. The women went to their own separate tee to start each hole, and the men went to theirs – farther back. All four of the golfers chatted amiably enough as they took the rest of their shots and putted out each of the 18 holes, but it wasn’t one of those games where everybody really hit it off and the conversation was loose and fun and constant. Ali took advantage of the time alone with her wife to make sure they were on the same page after the sensitive end to their intimate night before.

“Al, I appreciate what you’re doing” Ashlyn sighed as they climbed back into the golf cart after the 10th hole. “But we don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

Ali eyed her wife as the blonde steered the vehicle towards the tee box for the next hole. They had been golfing since 10:30am and had just inhaled the boxed lunches that had been handed out to the golfers at the clubhouse after the 9th hole. It was also very customary to get a drink, or two, ‘at the turn’ and both women were enjoying their beer as they worked their way to the 11th tee. It was hot as hell and they were both sweating like pigs - well-dressed pigs in stylish golf outfits that were soaked through. But they were having fun. Ashlyn’s drives were her best shot and she now routinely hit the ball farther than Ali did off the tee. She legitimately had the best drive on the par-3 4th hole and the foursome eagerly used it as their official drive. The rest of Ashlyn’s game was still not great, but was pretty good considering how little time she carved out to practice. And once Ali had convinced her that more muscle wasn’t always the fix for wayward shots, the keeper’s overall game had gotten a lot better.

Ashlyn looked good in her edgy but still conforming attire. Both of them were covered from head to toe in Nike, but the keeper’s choices were bold and brash. Bright orange golf shorts, knee length and loose legged, with a black and white checkered polo shirt up top. She wore it buttoned all the way up, despite her wife urging her to let her neck breathe and undo a couple of buttons. Ali was loving her keeper’s look and couldn’t take her eyes off of the stunning blonde with the short fade haircut. Ashlyn wore a black visor which made her blonde flop of hair on top of her head look almost white. Her low ankle socks inside her black and white checkered golf shoes made her legs look even longer than usual and showed off more of the ink there. Between her polo, shoes, and pale skin and ink, offset by the safety orange shorts, she was a black and white piece of art and owned her look entirely.

It was impossible for Ali not to think about all of the sex they had yesterday as she sat next to her keeper watching the muscles in her arms flex as she turned the wheel one way and then the other. The brunette was only human after all. But thinking of the afternoon sex led, inevitably, to thinking about the sex from last night and gave Ali pause. From her point of view, nothing had been amiss. Sure there had been a pause there at maybe an inopportune time, but she had enjoyed an amazing orgasm and would have considered it a huge success had her wife not locked herself in the bathroom before Ali had even started to come down from her high. 

“But...I wanna talk about it” the brunette replied sweetly. “It’s important and I wanna make sure you know how serious I was last night...with what I said...”

“I know you meant what you said” Ashlyn took a quick look at her wife, pleased as always with how beautiful the brunette looked.

Ali wore a sleeveless white collared polo shirt that made her arms look even more tan than they already were. Her tanned legs still looked shapely between her sporty red golf skort and her white ankle socks and golf shoes. She wore her shoulder length hair in a ponytail at the back of her head, sticking out just above the back of the red visor atop her head. Only Ali Krieger could make such a basic ponytail look so good. She looked like she stepped out of an ad for the American Red Cross, or maybe Swiss Army knife, with her sharp looking red and white outfit. Ashlyn had a hard time seeing anything other than the bright white smile that always made her heart pang, even after almost 19 years together. The keeper felt the beginnings of a slight buzz from the beer and the sun and the sweat and gave her wife a goofy smile.

“I really did mean it” Ali continued, returning the smile and reaching over to pat her wife’s thigh. “And I’m glad you’re not still upset about anything...because I don’t think we’re going to have any trouble in the bedroom” she wagged her eyebrows and chuckled low in her throat. 

Ashlyn kept her eyes on the narrow, winding cart path in front of her and smirked as she spoke. 

“Oh you don’t think so huh?” 

“Nope” Ali pulled her hand back and took another swig of her beer, popping the p just before the can hit her lips. She was feeling the alcohol too.

“What makes you say that?” the keeper quirked an eyebrow towards her wife and then waved to their golf partners as she pulled the cart to an abrupt stop at the men’s tee box. “Good luck fellas! Hit em long and straight now!”

Ali blushed as she thought about the answer she wanted to give her wife when they weren’t so close to the other golfers. It wasn’t until 15 minutes later, after they had both taken their shots from the ladies tee, which was 10 yards closer to the hole than the men’s, when each golf cart went its own way to track down the four drives that the brunette replied to the question.

“Oh, you know” she flirted shamelessly, shrugging her shoulder and giggling. “Just thinking about all the toys we have that will come in handy next time it’s a problem. That’s all” she giggled again and then laughed out loud. “No pun intended!”

“Oh geez” Ashlyn rolled her eyes as they got out of the cart to pick up first Ali’s ball and then Ashlyn’s a few yards ahead. The guys’ drives were both in better positions and it was obvious they wouldn’t be using either of their own for that hole. The keeper let her eyes linger on her wife’s ass as Ali bent over to grab her ball. “You know, it’s probably not the best idea to be talking like this when you’re looking like that” she smirked again and shook her head appreciatively. “God damn, woman.”

“Oh yeah?” the brunette chuckled and made a show out of swinging her hips as they walked the few feet back to the cart and got in. “I happen to think it’s a great idea.”

They continued their flirtatious and ribald conversation in the private moments for the next several holes. By the time they’d gotten to the 16th tee, and drank a lot more water than beer, Ali brought the conversation back to earth but kept it playful.

“But really babe, tell me how you’re feeling about it” she kept her eyes on Ashlyn instead of watching her two teammates on the men’s tee just up the hill. “I know we’ve been joking about it and everything and I’m really not worried at all about it...” she nodded thoughtfully at her keeper, almost as if granting her permission to share her truest feelings with her. “But I wanna hear where you’re at. What do you think? Are you honestly ok?”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and exhaled, then another as she turned her attention to the loud thwacking sound from the tee above them. She could feel Ali’s eyes still focused entirely on her and knew she should just be truthful right off the bat. The keeper knew that her sweet wife had gone out of her way to make sure the conversation was fun and light so it would actually last long enough to get to this point. Ali knew her so completely. And Ashlyn knew Ali just as well.

“Honestly, dirty truth?” she used the phrase that she once reserved only for her best friend Whitney. Over the years Ashlyn had found herself using it more and more with her own family. She was encouraged when she heard Whitney doing the same thing with her husband and children too. “I’m mad...” she met Ali’s curious gaze and chewed the inside of her cheek as she struggled to put the right words into the answer. “And I’m sad. And I’m embarrassed...”

“Aw honey...”

“I know I don’t have to be” Ashlyn cut her off, having already heard the kind, considerate expression dozens of times since they first talked about it last night. She smiled at the brunette, a mixture of all three emotions she had just listed out. “But that’s how I’m feeling about it. And I know you don’t think it will matter and I believe you when you say it” she added quickly when she saw Ali open her mouth to reassert her position on the subject. “I get it” Ashlyn smiled warmly at her loving and devoted wife. “And I hope you’re right. I really fucking do, trust me” she blew out an anxious breath and made a face. “I don’t know...I think the biggest thing is just...I’m really sad about it” she dropped her eyes and bit her cheek again.

“Aw sweetheart” Ali cooed as she leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too” she gave the brunette another sad half-smile. “The idea that someday my fingers will be so bad that I won’t be able to...to take you on that journey...Jesus, it just makes me really fucking sad.”

“I’m not gonna sit here and tell you not to feel that way” Ali surprised her with her reply. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it since we talked last night and I’d be sad too. Really fucking sad.”

“Hell of a pep talk Krieger” Ashlyn chuckled and accepted the playful swat from her beautiful brunette.

“Stop...I’m being serious” Ali blinked softly at the love of her life. 

“Ok my queen, I’m sorry” Ashlyn reached over and pushed a rogue wisp of hair behind Ali’s ear where she knew the brunette wanted it. Her touch was gentle and loving and it melted Ali’s heart.

“See, that right there” Ali took her wife’s right hand as Ashlyn pulled it back away from the wisp of hair. She held it and petted it lightly before meeting Ashlyn’s eyes again. “Your touch, your hands, your fingers, they give me so much love...all the time, in so many different ways. And none of that is going to change. So maybe these fingers won’t be able to do some of the things we used to do together in our other times” she lifted Ashlyn’s hand to her lips and kissed it.

“In our sexy times” Ashlyn supplied the words for her still sometimes shy wife. “It’s ok you know, we’ve been married for 17 years now” she teased and winked at her blushing wife.

“And we’re in public so I’m just trying to be...you know...” Ali rolled her eyes and giggled.

“Ok, ok, fair point” Ashlyn grinned back, her dimple poking out of her left cheek as she beamed at the brunette.

“Anyway...” Ali chuckled, “these fingers are still going to be what makes me come” she lowered her voice and leaned closer to the blonde as she whispered the last couple of words. “Maybe not exactly like they used to, but they’ll still be...I don’t know, holding the dildo or whatever.”

“You won’t say ‘sexy times’ and you have to whisper ‘come’ but you’ll say dildo?” Ashlyn laughed out loud.

“Shhhh...” Ali laughed with her, thankful that it was time to move on to the next hole. Before she let Ashlyn’s hand go she leaned close again. “I’m just saying, nothing is better inside me than these” she squeezed the keeper’s hand. “But if we need to change things up and be flexible then I’m ok with that too. Because it’ll still be you. And it’ll still be your fingers getting me there, just in a slightly different way” she shrugged and cocked her head adorably. “So I’d be sad too if I were you. And I will miss these fingers when they can’t...be inside me” she whispered the last part again. “But it’ll be ok because it’ll still be us. And that’s all that matters to me.”

It was Ashlyn’s turn to pull her wife’s hand to her lips and kiss it, even as she released the brake and got the golf cart moving again. She thought about her wife’s powerful sentiment as they drove to the next hole. She had never known anybody who could do what Ali did for her, and the brunette had been doing it from the very start. Ali found a way to acknowledge what Ashlyn was feeling. She identified it and named it and accepted it, regardless of what it was. Lots of other people could do that though. Ali also was honest about her own feelings on the subject. She didn’t try to lie and say that she wouldn’t miss her wife’s fingers. She didn’t lessen the situation by pretending it wasn’t a big fucking deal. That was harder to do and not many people did that for Ashlyn – sometimes Whitney, and usually Gram could do that for her. But only Ali was ever able to meet Ashlyn exactly where she was in her emotions and just sit there with her in it. Ali didn’t try to push her one way or the other from that place. She just sat there with her wife and kept her company, no matter what. That was rare and beautiful and Ashlyn was still amazed whenever she realized that she was stuck in a difficult emotional space but not feeling alone. Somehow, Ali always found a way to meet her there and that day had been no different.

They were both quiet, offering only some teammate encouragement to the two young jocks as they got ready to hit their drives. When they finished hitting their own shots from the ladies tee 10 minutes later and were putting their drivers back into their golf bags at the back of the cart, Ashlyn let her hand rest on top of the brunette’s before they separated and went to their own sides of the cart. Ali looked at her quizzically, beautiful smile still on her face from hitting a gorgeous drive down the middle of the fairway. Ashlyn smiled back and felt the lump in her throat as she said what was in her heart.

“Thank you for always accepting me, no matter what” she cleared her throat when it tried to close up on her. “Really Al, you’re so fucking good to me and I...I’m just so in love with you.” 

“Oh Ash” the brunette’s voice hitched, “still?”

“Still” the keeper affirmed with watery eyes. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sue Bird ESPN 60 special is on tomorrow (Sunday) at 5pm est. Can't wait.


	10. Fall in New England

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 1st birthday Storm!

Before they knew it, September had come and gone and October was slipping by quickly. New England finally settled into spectacular Fall foliage season and all of the fun events that went along with it. The Breakers were playing well and looking like they were going to make the playoffs for the 8th season in a row. They hadn’t missed the playoffs since 2026, and they had become a team that was known for its consistency year after year after year. There were jokes that were more accurate than funny that compared the Breakers long-term success to that of the New England Patriots dynasty when Belichick and Brady were both on board. The Breakers had made the playoffs for the first time in the franchise’s NWSL history back in 2017. Since then, over the span of 16 years, they had made the playoffs 13 more times, winning 6 Championship titles including just last year in 2033. If you added in this year, they would be going to the playoffs for the 15th time in the 20 years that Ashlyn had been affiliated with the team as a player, then ambassador, then owner. If you ignored the first two abysmal seasons in 2015 and 2016, Ashlyn Harris’ Breakers had only missed the playoffs 3 times in 17 years and were about to make that 3 times in 18 years once they officially qualified later in October.

It was a record to be proud of, certainly, and most of New England was very proud of their NWSL team. It was easier than ever to fall in love with your local Breakers team because they were defending champions who were playing great soccer and looking strong heading into the push for the playoffs. They had never been dominant enough to win a bunch of Shield trophies for having the most points and sitting atop the table, but their dominance was found in their consistency. Somehow, the Breakers always managed to fight their way into the playoffs. It was one of the things you could almost always count on as the season wound down – don’t ever count the Breakers out. If you were sitting in what you thought was a safe spot near the top of the table and expecting to earn a playoff spot, look out. The Breakers were coming for you. They didn’t care where their seat in the playoff venue was. They just wanted a damned ticket inside. They would take care of the rest themselves. But, much like the Patriots of old, the Breakers fans now took the playoffs for granted and expected at the very least, an appearance in the championship game. The Breakers had appeared in 5 of the last 7 finals, winning 4 and losing only 1. What nobody had any way of knowing was that the last Championship celebration, just last year, would be the last one for over a decade.

Ashlyn and the whole Krieger family were looking forward to the 3 week playoff tournament starting the last week of October and culminating the following week with Championship Week. The fans had adjusted to the new playoff format and longer NWSL season schedule very nicely. It all meant more soccer and better playoff games which was good for everybody from fans, to players, to owners. The week before Thanksgiving was now known for NWSL Championship Week and the cities that hosted the 7-day event reaped the benefits from all the increased tourism every year. This year, 2034, was Boston’s turn to host again and, as usual, Knight-Harris was busier than ever trying to make the most of it. Championship Week was still one of the biggest and busiest events on the NWSL calendar, only rivaled by the Draft weekend in January. The schedule was set 3 years in advance so the host cities and the fans had time to plan everything out. Every host city’s team also used that time to get extra motivated to win it all in their home stadium for their fans. It was the ultimate goal for NWSL players. Win the championship at home during your city’s turn to host the big game. It was next to impossible to achieve. It was hard to make the playoffs. It was even harder to advance all the way to the championship game. To even pretend there was a way to orchestrate things so your team could manage to do that in the one year out of ten that they hosted Championship Week was insane. But every once in a while somebody did manage to do it. 

Portland had done it in 2019 and then Boston had turned around and done it again in 2020. But that 2020 season for Boston was truly magical. It was Whitney Engen’s last season and the Breakers won the trifecta. They won the Shield for having the most points and finishing at the top of the table. They won the Championship. And they did it in their home stadium. Nobody else had ever done that and nobody expected to see it again anytime soon. The league was bigger now and the schedules were longer and the players were better. It was a more competitive league than ever before. Portland and Boston, back in those days when they hated each other and played in 3 consecutive finals from 2017 – 2019, were the only two teams to ever do it. 

What wasn’t as remarkable, unless you were the team that had spoiled it, was making it all the way to the final game in your home host city – only to lose it. That was something the host players never ever forgot. Not one of them. The soul-crushing disappointment of getting so close to the fairy tale goal of winning it all at home and then having to watch the other team celebrate the championship on your pitch was not something any competitive athlete could ever forget. Seattle in 2014 was the only team, so far, that had suffered through that misery, but they wouldn’t be the last. The Breakers organization was doing everything in their power that October to make sure they didn’t join Seattle’s ranks in that dubious trivia category. Ashlyn wasn’t sure she herself would be able to survive it if the team did find itself in that predicament. She couldn’t imagine anything worse. It was hard enough to host the big game and not have your team participate in it. That hurt like hell just as it was. Every single team pulled out all the stops to make sure they didn’t end up like the 2014 Reign.

Another perk of the newer NWSL playoff schedule in the longer seasons was that Ashlyn’s birthday wasn’t smack dab in the middle of it anymore. It had been a couple of years since the change and the keeper had really enjoyed her new birthday reality. She hadn’t known what she had been missing all those years of playing or being an owner and postponing birthday celebrations until after the stress of the playoffs was over. Ashlyn loved spending her birthday at home with her family and friends more than she ever could have imagined. This year her birthday fell on Thursday during the last week of the regular season and she enjoyed the hell out of a big family cookout in the backyard. It was low-key but lots of fun with many of her favorite people on the planet in attendance – friends, family, neighbors. The NYC Kriegers weren’t there, and her Florida family didn’t make it, except for Tammye and Carol, but that was ok. It was just a Thursday night after all.

Besides, Ashlyn couldn’t ask for more because she and Ali were about to take their big trip to India to celebrate both their birthdays, and the grandma brigade was going to be watching the kids and dogs and house for them while they were away. The keeper was appreciative enough of that commitment from her moms, so she was surprised as hell to see them walk up the driveway on her birthday too.

“Mom?! Carol?!” Ashlyn stood, stunned, in the middle of the driveway, up near the garage, beer in one hand and 2-1/2 year old Tori Wild on her other hip. “What are you guys doing here?!!”

“Aren’t you happy to see us honey?” Tammye laughed as both she and her wife hugged the birthday girl and kissed her cheeks simultaneously.

“Happy? No way” Ashlyn shook her head, enormous grin on her face and dimple on full display. “I’m freaking psyched!! What an awesome surprise!!”

“I let her drag me up here, again” Carol teased sarcastically, rolling her eyes and laughing. “It’s just hideous up here this time of year” she clucked and smiled. “I don’t know how y’all can stand it.”

Fall in New England was something Carol Lanier had fallen more and more in love with over the years. She said it reminded her of the best parts of the South, which nobody in the North could understand. Something about the light and the feeling of the air itself during Fall in New England made her think back to winters in South Carolina when she was a girl. She didn’t pretend to understand it either. She just loved it. Since she and Tammye had bought the beach house in Rockport, there was no reason not to spend even more time admiring the beauty of a New England Fall. So they did. And the Kriegers were always glad to have any of the grandparents around, especially Carol who was still the best cook in the whole damned family.

There were so many cute moments among the kids gathered in the backyard that evening, along with the dogs. It was refreshing to get newer faces into the mix as well, like the young Irving girls from across the street. Just as the Donaldson kids from next door had always enjoyed Ashlyn and Ali’s company and house and dogs, 5-year old Emery and 3-year old Avery Irving took advantage of every chance they got to hang out at the big old house. Not only were the two moms nice and easy-going, but the Krieger kids were like rockstars to the young girls. Tommy Flanagan was the youngest of the 4-family children and, at 7-1/2 years old, was trying desperately to follow in Maddox and Dodge’s footsteps. They were the next two youngest boys in the group but there was a 3 and 4 year age difference between Tommy and Maddox and then Tommy and Dodge, respectively. Tommy’s big sister Becca was 2 years older than him and even she seemed light years ahead of him because of the age group she had grown into. 9-1/2 year old girls were yearning to be 13 year old girls and had very little time, usually, for their kid brothers. 

Lily Krieger continued to be the bigger kid who was the most patient with her time. Most of the parents recognized that the 11-1/2 year old blonde remembered what it had felt like to be one of the very youngest for so long in the 4-family hierarchy. Before Becca and Tommy had come along, she and Dodge and Maddox were the ones who nobody had any patience for. And Lily in particular hadn’t enjoyed getting stuck with two of the most mischievous boys in the bunch – Dodge and Maddox. More than any other pairing among the 4 families, those two boys, only a year apart in age, could wreak havoc on any gathering no matter the size or duration. It could be anything from a quick hand-off meeting from one mom to a babysitting mom all the way up to a day-long house party or beach day. Those two boys could, and usually did, get themselves into some kind of trouble. They were the two biggest personalities of the entire group, after Josie of course. 

“She’s so good with them” Claudia Irving smiled as she watched Lily play with her two young daughters that Thursday evening. The Irving mom and girls had stopped over to say happy birthday and deliver the handmade cards for Ashlyn in their short window of time between dinner and bed. “Look at her with her camera” the younger mom giggled.

“She’s had lots of practice with Becca over the years” Ali nodded as she stood in the driveway next to the black chainlink fence and her neighbor. 

“Yeah but Becca wasn’t so much younger” Deb countered, stopping on her way back from the garage with a couple of beers for herself and Sandi Leroux who was waiting on the kitchen porch for her. “Lily and Becca were contemporaries, you know?” Deb opined. “This is different. This is little mama Lily.”

“Either way it’s adorable and I love her to death” Claudia laughed. “Look at her pose them.”

Lily was doing her best to take photographs of Emery and Avery who were both getting tired and fussy. Avery kept trying to leave, which made both her sister and the photographer frustrated. Lily had fallen in love with the camera she had gotten for her birthday that May and was rarely without it. Kyle had given her some lessons and all the grown-ups thought, perhaps, the girl might finally have found something she loved enough to spend extra time doing. It made sense in a way. Lily had always been the Krieger kid who loved to collect things. Taking photographs seemed to feed into that same interest and desire. She collected photos of things that year in addition to the things themselves.

“Just stay for one more minute Ave” Lily beseeched. “No, you stay still too Em, I’ll get her.”

“I can hold her if you want” Becca offered from behind the photographer.

“Oooh, the cavalry to the rescue” Ali chuckled as she and Claudia kept watching the scene unfold.

“Oh, I think Avery’s about done with everything” Claudia made an eeek face. “I should really take them home and put them to bed...”

“Oh, 10 more minutes” Ali winked. “Let’s see how this works out. Becca’s totally chill and used to being gentle and patient. They’ll be ok, you’ll see.”

The two moms watched as Lily agreed to have Becca join the picture and hold Avery on her lap to keep her from escaping. Lily paused to see if any of the dogs were close enough to add to the portrait – the girl would always try to have a dog in every picture she was ever involved in either as subject or photographer. Honey, the Irving’s golden retriever, was closest but had her eyes locked onto the cake that Tommy Flanagan was eating. The dogs all knew that if they were patient they would almost always get yummy rewards when the kids inevitably dropped their food. 

“Here, why don’t you get in it too” Ashlyn was there now, putting her hand on Lily’s shoulder and encouraging her. “I’ll take a couple of pictures of all you awesome girls.”

“But I want...”

“A doggie” Ashlyn interrupted, knowing her daughter so well. The keeper turned quickly and called Logan over. “Here’s Logan. Get her in there too.”

Before another minute had passed, all four girls were beaming into the camera as they sat around big, sweet Logan in the middle. Even fussy Avery seemed content for those 5 minutes.

“Aww, I wanted to see how Lily did” Ali pouted just a bit as she and Claudia kept watching from the fence. 

“Ash could tell Avery was about to lose her shit” Claudia laughed. “Can’t blame her for wanting to avoid that at her own birthday party.”

That picture, along with about a hundred others Lily took that year, was printed and added to 2 big photo albums that the tween kept on the foot of her bed. When she had trouble falling asleep at night she would leaf through the plastic pages and try to remember all of the details of each photo she had taken. That was how she often managed to fall asleep. Lily wasn’t allowed to have any screens in her room at all because it made it impossible for her to get to sleep. So the sort of old-fashioned photo albums became part of her world that summer. Ali or Ashlyn had lost count of the number of times they would go in to check on her and have to lift one of the heavy albums off of her chest and return it to the foot of the bed. They were very hopeful that photography might be something both helpful and entertaining for their enigmatic girl.

A different conversation that evening in the backyard involved Meg relaying a story about new middle-schooler Dodge and his big sister Josie. The tall redhead was sitting inside the garage where she and Tammye and Carol and a few other grown-ups had just watched an impromptu performance of some kind that 13-1/2 year old Josie had produced and starred in. The younger redhead had enlisted and orchestrated her two closest 4-family friends Penny Cross and James Dwyer through a pretty good song and dance routine with herself as the lead. Of course. 12-1/2 year old Penny and newly 13-year old James were the backup singers and dancers and seemed to be having a fun time themselves. James would do anything Josie asked but Penny often stood up to the redhead. The fact of the matter was that Josie had some great ideas that usually led to a fun time for all of them. Penny was more than happy to play along with the good ones. 

“Oh it was another new kid, some mean girl” Meg shook her head as anger flashed in her eyes. “I swear, they get meaner every year. They weren’t that bad when I was in 8th grade.”

“So it wasn’t that Franny girl again?” Tammye asked, unable to believe that Josie’s longtime arch enemy who had bullied her at both elementary and middle school wasn’t involved in the latest incident from this Fall.

“No, she’s not even there anymore” Meg explained. “She’s a freshman in high school now. She’s a year older than Jojo.”

“Was it about her birthmark again?” Carol asked, anger clear to see on her face too. 

Nothing got the grandparents more riled up than when somebody was mean to one of their grandkids. It didn’t matter if it was another kid or what the reason was behind the behavior. If they were mean to a grandkid then they were gonna get an earful from the grandparents.

“Yeah, that’s how it always starts I think” Meg replied with a furrowed brow. “Lesbian moms, oh and she’s in those advanced classes this year too so...”

“I’ll bet she gets teased for all of that too” Tammye sighed.

“And the singing and acting” Carol shook her head. “Kids are so jealous, aren’t they? So much has changed from when I was a girl, but that sure hasn’t.”

“How did Dodgie get involved this time?” Tammye asked.

“Well, he and Lily are in middle school this year so, you know, they’re around” Meg launched into the story, checking over her shoulder periodically to make sure no young ears were listening. 

It had been another case of a Krieger sibling coming to Josie’s defense and neither kid had been punished by Ali or Ashlyn, but it wasn’t a story they wanted broadcast either. There had still been a fight and a schedule of detentions, and neither were things the Kriegers wanted to amplify.

“This time it was at lunch. Jojo was walking back to her table with her lunch tray and this girl stuck her leg out and tripped her.”

“On purpose?!” Carol’s eyebrows shot up.

“She says no, of course, but yeah it was on purpose” Meg continued.

“But, why?” Tammye couldn’t imagine why someone would want to trip sweet little Josie.

“Josie says this girl Bridget told her she was a freak and that freaks shouldn’t be allowed to eat with the rest of them” Meg clenched her jaw as she tried to control her temper. “So she tripped her and poor Jojo fell flat on her face, lunch all over the floor.”

The two grandmothers huffed their outrage and fury for a couple of minutes, ranting about the kind of parents who raised kids to act that way.

“Well you know Jojo” Meg chuckled, even though the thought of her little sister having to defend herself against such bullshit still made her dangerously angry. “She came up hot and confronted Bridget.”

“Who I suppose is a foot taller than her...” Carol grumbled.

“Exactly” Meg nodded. “But I’d still never bet against my sis.”

“Me either” Tammye agreed with wide eyes.

“So Bridget pushes Jojo back the first time she comes at her, listing off the reasons she thinks she’s a freak and trying to get the other kids to join her. But Josie’s friend Rory was right there too, and she told this new girl Bridget to shut up...”

“She’s the drama club friend, right?” Carol clarified.

“Yeah. Jojo’s second bestie” Meg paused and thought some more. “Maybe her first bestie, I don’t know. She and Kayla are still super tight too...”

“So where is Dodge for all of this?” Tammye wanted to get to the part that got her grandson in trouble because both Ashlyn and Ali had been quiet about it during their telling of the story.

“They have overlapping lunch periods and he was just about to leave the cafeteria when this happened. He says he heard all the kids starting to yell and shout and he went over to take a look...”

“Instead of getting to class” Carol chuckled. “I imagine all the kids who were just finishing their lunch period went to have a look too.”

“Yeah, they did, but Dodge was the only one who stepped in.”

“Where were the teachers?” Carol asked, her voice full of frustration. “If the other kids could hear that something was going on, why couldn’t the teachers?”

“That is one of the mysteries of school life” Meg laughed ruefully and shook her head. “But Jojo didn’t need a teacher. She had Destructoboy by her side” she used an old nickname Ashlyn had given the youngest Krieger boy when he was just learning to walk. “Dodge jumped right in and stood between them. He had to hold Josie back she was so mad, but he kept her behind him and told Bridget to get lost. But she didn’t, of course. All she saw was a 6th grader, a kid brother, so she said some crap about the whole family being freaks and having two moms and anything she could think of and when Dodge finally couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed her – hard.”

“Good for him!”  
“Yes Dodger!”  
Both grandmas cheered at the same time. 

Meg went on to tell the rest of the story of how Dodge, one of the biggest 6th graders in the school physically, knocked the bully back on her butt with one shove and ended the trouble that none of the teachers was either willing or able to take care of themselves. He had then kept his irate sister in check as a true peacekeeper. Officer, now Captain, Fulkerson would have been proud. Ali and Ashlyn had been called into the guidance counselor meeting again, just as they had been 2 years before with Drew and Josie under troublingly similar circumstances. And the Krieger moms were just as critical of the bully and the school’s inability to protect their daughter, again. 

Once tempers had cooled and some investigating had been completed, it was determined that the incident was a one-off. Josie’s friend Rory corroborated the redhead’s version of events – she had seen the trip herself. The new girl was just that, a self-conscious 13-year old girl who was feeling uncomfortable in her new school and trying to do something, anything, that might make her fit in better. The guidance counselor team had learned that another mean girl had put Bridget up to the stunt in the first place and then abandoned her once things started to get interesting. Mean girls, and bullies in general, counted on their prey not fighting back. The Krieger children weren’t fighters, but they weren’t going to allow themselves to be pushed around either.

“Good for him yes, but he got a week’s detention for it” Meg shook her head. 

“And I suppose the mean girl...”

“Bridget” Carol supplied her wife with the mean girl bully’s name.

“...I suppose Bridget didn’t get any kind of discipline...”

“She got detention too, but only a couple of days. Same with Josie” Meg laid it all out.

“What?!” Carol’s eyebrows roes to her hairline. “How in the world did they give Josie the same punishment as the bully? And why is Dodge’s detention so much longer?”

“Dodge pushed her. He made contact and escalated the situation, according to the official report.”

“That’s just wrong...” Tammye huffed.

“And I think it’s because he pushed a girl” Meg lowered her voice. “No matter how progressive schools get, nobody ever likes to see a boy pushing around a girl – even if she deserves it.”

“Well that’s not right either” Carol frowned as she considered the situation.

The truth was the assistant principal had originally handed Dodge a 2-day suspension. But the Krieger moms had gone in and met privately with both guidance counselors for Dodge and Josie, as well as the assistant principal, to discuss the disciplinary action. After a long and productive meeting, in which Ali outlined the repeated harassment Josie had endured at the middle school, the suspension was lightened to 5 days of detention. 

“Where was Lily in all of this?” Tammye wondered out loud as they got up to join the rest of the party for cake and ice cream.

“She was in the cafeteria too, but she took longer to get over to Josie. I asked the same thing actually” Meg chuckled. “I had no doubt in my mind that Dodge would back up his big sister, but I honestly wasn’t sure about Lily. I mean, I know she’d want to...but I really wasn’t sure if she’d be able to. You know?”

“That’s why I’m asking” Tammye nodded. “I’m sure she’d help. It’s not like she’d just stand there and watch somebody push Josie around...”

“No, she’d never let that happen” Carol agreed.

But everybody in the family had the same question. They didn’t doubt Lily’s impulse to defend and help her siblings. She had the same compassionate heart that her twin brother and Mama did. But whether or not the whimsical girl would have actively participated in that defense and aid was a whole other question. The Lily who bravely caromed around the soccer pitch would most certainly have been ready to jump into the fracas. But that wasn’t always the Lily you got. Sometimes the flighty, wishy-washy girl was present instead. The biggest question of all was whether Lily could pick and choose those moods on her own yet. Was she old enough or mature enough to control her emotions and reactions, or not?

“Personally, I think she would have done the same thing Dodger did” Meg said with a confident nod. “But we’ll never know because he’s always so quick to act. It’s just how they are I guess.”

“I think so too” Tammye agreed like the proud grandma that she was. “She’ll shine just as bright once she gets a chance. Just you wait and see.”

//

The Taj Mahal trip wasn’t until the very end of October so serious Halloween decisions had to be made early in the month so Ali and Ashlyn could make appropriate plans. For the first time, neither mom was going to be at the big old house for trick or treating on Halloween. It was a big change, but scheduling the trip to India had been difficult. They had to go during one of the dry seasons so they didn’t get stuck in a monsoon. They had to go during the Fall so that Ali wouldn’t melt in the sweltering heat of the Indian summer months. There were some other factors involved as well that made it necessary to miss Halloween. Not only were Ali and Ashlyn going to miss the big trick or treating event, but they were also going to miss the first NWSL playoff game for the Breakers. It was a tough 10 days to be away from home, but the two moms stuck to their guns and honored their commitment to each other to making the big trip.

As had become a tradition over the years, Ethan Machado hung out with the Kriegers for Halloween and even spent the night there as well. Even though Sam had remarried and was very happy with Lisa now, Halloween had always been the one holiday above all others that made both Sam and Ethan miss his mom, Maggie. This would be the 10th Halloween that Ethan would spend with the Kriegers and, even though the boys were both 15-1/2 year old teenagers, they still got excited about it. Ethan’s mom Maggie had left an indelible image in the young boy’s mind before she died, when he was 3 and the family was still living in Chicago. Maggie LOVED Halloween. She was one of those people who went all out with decorations and lights and the whole nine yards. She pulled out all the stops and invariably had the best decorated condo or house in the neighborhood. When she had Ethan that Halloween revelry only got stronger. The boy’s first 3 Halloweens with his mom were legendary and Sam kept all the pictures to prove it. The next Halloween was almost an afterthought as Maggie slowly died from breast cancer at age 40. She insisted that Sam do as much of her Halloween things as possible with their son, knowing it would be the last one she could even obliquely participate in. When Ethan was 5 and living in Gloucester for the first time, Sam couldn’t bring himself to do Halloween with him at all. Sam’s mother, Nona Machado, had taken her grandson trick or treating that evening instead. And then, the next year, the Krieger’s adopted him for the night and thus began the annual ritual.

Ethan had become like a 6th child to the Krieger family over the years, and Drew had become just as beloved by the Machados. 2034 had been a hard year for Ethan, losing both his grandfather in January, and then his grandmother, Nona, in March. Sam and Lisa were happily married and good parents to the boy but they were struggling with their teenager just like most parents of 15-year olds were, Ali and Ashlyn included. The summer spent working together at Machado’s Pizzeria had done wonders for both Drew and Ethan’s attitudes. They were getting older and starting to demand more and more independence. Having a paying job had been an enormous step towards that goal, and working at a family business had made it a safe and gentle transition for everybody, parents and teenage boys alike. Sam would forever remain in the doghouse for his unacceptable behavior towards Ali back in 2026, but 8 years had certainly softened the edges of the issue for all parties involved. And both Ashlyn and Ali truly loved Ethan.

The boys spent just as much time at each other’s house as they did their own. Sam, Lisa, Ali, and Ashlyn shared a group text just to keep tabs on the boys and their schedules and who was picking whom up where and when. It would be a welcome relief when one of the boys finally got his driver’s license! Although that thought brought pure terror to most parents’ hearts at the same time too. Drew typically spent a few afternoons a week at Ethan’s house because it was usually empty then. Lisa worked full time as a re-insurance agent in Danvers, a nearby North Shore town, and Sam worked full time at the pizzeria so the Machado house was the first choice hangout for the best friends. Ali and Ashlyn worried about so much freedom but trusted both Sam and Lisa as well as Ethan. The two moms insisted that the boys spend time at the big old house as well, just to try and keep their finger on the pulse of what was going on in their topsy-turvy sophomores in high school lives.

But this Fall things had been...different. Ethan was almost constantly at the big old house starting practically as soon as school began in September. He slept over on the weekend nights whenever possible too. It had taken Ali and Ashlyn a little while to register the change and start to inquire about it. No matter how many times they asked Drew about it, they always got the same answer.

“Yeah, everything’s cool. What’s the big deal? Don’t you like Ethan?”

And they never had a good answer to that question. Nothing was wrong. They very much liked Ethan. The boys weren’t terrorizing anybody or causing too much trouble during their time in the Krieger household. They were both busy with soccer that Fall anyway, which was why it had taken the two moms some time to notice the difference in the first place. The first domino fell right before the Mia Hamm golf tournament trip in the middle of September. Drew wanted Ethan to sleep over while his moms were away, even though it was a school night and that was never ok for sleepovers. Ashlyn had talked to Deb on the phone from NC and set the record straight, contradicting Drew’s lie that it was ok and that Ethan slept over all the time. Ethan did sleep over often, but only on Friday or Saturday nights. Ethan did not sleep over that school night, and Drew was punished when his moms returned home. But he had never given them a good reason for trying to push the boundaries with his grandma in charge. Ali and Ashlyn chalked it up to normal teenage rebelliousness and hadn’t thought too much more about it.

Then, in early October, Ashlyn was picking the boys up from soccer practice late one afternoon and had gotten there early. It happened sometimes, especially if she had just come from picking up another kid and didn’t have time to get back to the big old house before having to be at the high school. She sat there in her Jeep talking on the phone with Taylor Gervasio about Mental Health Initiative things, with Dodge in the far backseat. The blonde boy was drumming on the back of the middle seats in front of him with his drumsticks and not paying attention to anything other than whatever song was playing in his head. As Ashlyn leaned back and let her eyes wander around the high school soccer field and adjacent gymnasium and locker area, she vaguely noticed a man slowly pacing back and forth. It looked like he was waiting for someone and she assumed he was a parent she didn’t recognize. Some of the parents who worked full time jobs with killer commutes were still unfamiliar to the keeper. It seemed to be mostly the fathers, but not always. 

The man was average looking, a little under 6’ tall, with a slight build and a scruffy beard that looked more like he just hadn’t taken time to shave in a few days than an official beard. He looked like he was in his late 50s, maybe a few years older. It was hard to tell. His clothes were nothing unusual, but he definitely didn’t look like a father who was commuting to Boston for an office job of some kind. He looked like a laborer or maybe a construction worker or even a fisherman. Ashlyn didn’t think much about it as she finished her call with Taylor, trying to work through an MHI situation scheduling problem that had cropped up earlier that day. The man was just something for her eyes to focus on while she talked, idly watching and waiting for Drew and Ethan.

As the keeper listened to the first attempt at a revised schedule, she saw first Drew and then Ethan emerge from the locker room. They had collected their backpacks after practice and were chatting with a couple of teammates as they all left the building and moved towards their parents’ cars in the parking lot. As Drew scanned the area for his Mama’s Jeep, the man stopped pacing and approached Ethan with a warm smile on his face. The keeper thought it was someone Ethan knew, maybe someone who worked or ate at the pizzeria or for Sam. When he heard him address Ethan, Drew turned to look at the man who was now standing right next to Ethan. Both boys had confused looks on their faces. Ashlyn started paying attention, leaning forward now and squinting at the interaction to try and understand what she was seeing. 

The man patted Ethan on the shoulder but the teen backed away and gave him a quizzical look. Drew looked just as befuddled as his best friend did. The man took a step closer to Ethan and made another attempt to pat his arm, but Ethan backed up again too. Just as Ashlyn started to get out of the Jeep, one of the assistant coaches came out of the school with a small group of teammates. He spoke to Ethan and Drew and as soon as the other adult joined the scene, the strange man gave Ethan a brief wave and walked quickly away.

“Who was that guy you were talking with Ethan?” Ashlyn asked once they had started the drive home. “I didn’t recognize him. How do you know him?” she eyed the two boys in the middle row of seats directly behind her through the rearview mirror. 

Drew gave his friend a sideways glance and then they whispered something back and forth.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you bud” Ashlyn spoke again.

“Ummm...” Ethan swallowed hard and gave Drew a nervous look. 

“Just tell her” Drew urged in a louder whisper.

Ashlyn gripped the steering wheel tightly, unsure what was going on but positive that it made her uncomfortable.

“What’s up guys?” the keeper tried again, doing her best to keep her voice calm and non-confrontational. She hoped she was pulling it off because she did not feel calm, at all. “Did you know that guy or not?”

“It’s his uncle” Drew finally revealed after another long silence from Ethan.

“Is that right Ethan? That was your uncle?”

“Uh, yeah. It was” the teen nodded, his cheeks flushed as he gave Drew a dirty look.

Ashlyn’s brain raced through all the information it had ever processed about Ethan’s family. She had only ever heard of one uncle, and it hadn’t been anything good. She kicked herself for not being able to call to mind any details about why she felt like Ethan’s uncle was bad news. Why couldn’t she remember? But maybe this was a different uncle. She sure hoped it was a different uncle.

“Oh, um, your dad’s brother?” she managed to ask as her head spun. “Or is it a different uncle?”

“Yeah, he’s my dad’s brother. My uncle Jason. He’s back I guess” Ethan shrugged and looked like he wanted to jump right out of the moving vehicle he was riding in.

“Ok, that’s good to know” Ashlyn was still trying to figure out what to say or do. The subject of Jason Machado was a touchy one that everybody avoided at all costs when it came to Ethan. “Is he here for a visit?”

“I dunno” Ethan shrugged again and avoided eye contact.

“Well, does he...need a ride or something? What was he doing there?”

“I dunno” another shrug.

It was clear he wasn’t going to share anything even if he did know the answers, so the keeper gave up on her friendly inquisition. For now. Later that night with Ali, Ashlyn discussed what she had seen and the awkward conversation during the ride home.

“So it was Sam’s brother Jason?” the brunette’s eyes went wide at the news. “You’re sure?”

“Well I don’t know Jason from a hole in the wall, but Ethan said it was him” Ashlyn replied as they sat together in the front parlor that night. 

They didn’t often sit in that room, but every once in a while Ali went in there to read. The dogs weren’t allowed in the front parlor so the two moms didn’t hang out there very much either. It just seemed like a big tease for the dogs and wasn’t worth the whining that ensued if they did sit in there. Ashlyn had just joined her wife on the love seat, and they knew they had about 10 minutes before both Logan and Frankie started harassing them from the gates that blocked off the entrances to the room.

“Holy shit” Ali breathed out, letting her book close without even marking the page in her distraction. “That can’t be good.”

“I know he’s trouble, but what’s his story again?”

“Jesus, well, the last I heard was that he was still in prison” the brunette rubbed her face, suddenly very weary. “But that was a couple of years ago. I haven’t heard anything else. But Jules will know what’s up” Ali referred to their next door neighbor, Julie Donaldson. “She and her sister both went to school with Sam, and Jason I guess” she shrugged. “Boy do I have a bad feeling about this.”

“What was he in prison for?” the keeper asked, her face pale and anxious. “How long has he been out? What does he want?”

“I don’t have any of those answers babe” Ali shook her head and met her wife’s nervous eyes. “All I know is what Sam told me back at that Thanksgiving he and Ethan came to. But that was...geez, 9 years ago? 10?”

“Yeah, but he told you about it” Ashlyn tried to remember more details with the additional prompt but came up empty. “All I remember is that Sam’s parents closed the restaurant for two days every Thanksgiving so they could drive up to visit him.”

“Yes, that’s right” Ali sat up a bit as her memory was jogged. “In prison. He used to be somewhere a lot closer, Manchester, NH I think.”

“No there’s a prison in Concord, NH. That must have been the closer one” Ashlyn offered some knowledge that she had picked up from getting to know her cousin Jeremiah and his buddies from the Veteran’s hospital up in NH. Several of Jeremiah’s troubled acquaintances had spent time in and out of jails and even prison in the area.

“Ok, I don’t know” Ali shrugged again. “I think it started as petty stuff, burglary maybe? But he kept getting into more and more trouble. He was definitely a repeat offender. Even in prison he kept screwing up while he was there and he got transferred up to someplace much farther away, like...4 or 5 hours away” she recalled. “Sam’s parents couldn’t make it there and back in one day. That’s why they had to close the restaurant for two days.”

“But it was still in NH?”

“I think so, maybe.” Ali took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as her mind began to remember more of the story. “Sam hates his brother...that much I remember for sure.”

“Wow, that’s really harsh” the keeper couldn’t imagine hating her brother. Even after everything he’d done and all the mistakes he’d made, she could never hate Chris.

“The story kind of reminded me of an addiction story, actually” the brunette recalled more of the details. “Sam’s brother was always in trouble and he’d get arrested and his parents would bail him out and pay for his lawyer and all his fines. He just kept going back to jail and finally prison and his parents used up their entire life savings to try and help him.”

“Damn. That’s why they worked so hard at the pizzeria, right up until they died” Ashlyn surmised with a sad shake of her head.

“Exactly. Sam didn’t care about his brother at all. He had cut him out of his life completely. But Sam hated him for what he’d done to their parents. He was so mad at Jason that he never even told Ethan about him.”

“What? That’s crazy” Ashlyn frowned. “And how would that even work? Sam and Ethan lived with Sam’s parents when they first came back from Chicago. Didn’t Nona have any pictures of her other son? At all?”

“I don’t know Ash. What Sam said was something along the lines of he’d deal with that when it came up. But until that happened, nobody ever talked about Jason in front of Ethan.”

“Well I think it’s safe to say he knows about him now” the keeper stated the obvious. “I don’t remember seeing this uncle at either funeral, do you?”

“No” Ali shook her head. “But maybe he just got out, like, this week or something?” 

“I’ll bet he’s come back for his inheritance or some bullshit like that” Ashlyn let out an exasperated sigh at the idea.

“Well, if what Sam told me is true, there is no inheritance” the brunette offered. “All that’s left is the restaurant. And the house. But I think they’re both in Sam’s name now. Julie told us that after Nona died, remember?”

They were both quiet for a minute, thinking hard about the new situation in their lives. If Sam Machado hated his own brother so much that he didn’t want his own son to have anything to do with him, what did that mean for Drew? Was Drew in danger? Was Jason Machado a threat to him?

“Do you think him being back is why Ethan’s been spending so much time here this Fall?” the anxious keeper finally spoke again.

“God, I’ll bet you’re right” Ali’s eyebrows shot up at the perceptive deduction. “And that’s why Drew lied and tried to get him to sleep over while we were golfing. Something’s going on over there at his house that he doesn’t wanna be around. Whatever that is.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious, it’s his uncle Jason.”

They both thought quietly for a couple of minutes longer before Ali summed up the state of affairs succinctly.

“None of this can be good.”


	11. Teardrop on the Cheek of Eternity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bucket list trip for Ali's 50th birthday that evolved into a longer vacation to celebrate Ashlyn's birthday too.  
> One of Ashlyn's favorite things in the world is to listen to her wife talk about something she loves and knows a lot about. Watching Ali experience the Taj Mahal first hand is all the birthday gift Ashlyn could ever ask for. Yes, she's THAT in love with her wife. <3  
> Also - I'll be posting lots of pictures on the Tumblr blog about the Taj Mahal complex if you want to look there instead of googling it. :)  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beautyinthemoonlight1124

India was hot. There was no other way to describe it and it was the very first sensation that Ali and Ashlyn experienced when they stepped out of the frenetic Delhi airport on Friday October 27th. It was 9:15pm local time and their whole bodies felt strange and sluggish after the 17-1/2 hour flight from Boston. Before booking their vacation, they had gone back and forth repeatedly about the pros and cons of direct flights versus connecting flights with one stop between them. There were good and bad things about both. But ultimately, the idea that their luggage didn’t have to change planes, and the reassurance that their connecting flight couldn’t possibly get cancelled or delayed if they didn’t have a connecting flight, had pushed them towards the direct flight. They had both been very pleased with their Air France flights to and from the Paris Olympics back in 2028. It was surprising but comforting when they realized Air France had several flights to India and they quickly booked the same sort of fully flat, sleeping seats as they had before. This time instead of choosing seats in the 4-wide middle section of the enormous plane, they chose one of the 2-wide sets of seats on the side of the plane. The two wives faced each other and tried to sleep as much as they could on the flight, but they both emerged into the hot, sweaty Indian night with aches and pains of every kind, all through their bodies.

It may have been 9:15pm where they were standing, waiting for the taxi that would take them and their luggage to the hotel for the night, but to their brains and bodies it was just before lunch time. There was a 9-1/2 hour time difference between Delhi and Boston and it would take Ali and Ashlyn some time to get over the jetlag. 

“God, it’s so...hot” the keeper observed as a wave of stifling heat swept towards them while they stood there with a dozen other travelers, all waiting for pre-ordered rides to the best hotels in the city. “Jesus” she tugged the sweaty neck of her t-shirt away from her throat and stuck her tongue out like a dog trying to pant her way to cooler temperatures.

October weather in India, at least the Golden Triangle area they were visiting in Northern India, had an average temperature of 80 degrees with a high of 93 and a low of 65. The big city held its high heat well into the night hours, with the cooler low temperatures not arriving until a couple of hours before dawn each day. The weather forecast for that week was for mostly clear skies, 54% average humidity, and 11-1/2 hours of daylight with sunrise at 6:20am and sunset at about 5:30pm. Ali had done all the research and was as prepared as a person could possibly be. She had read all the travel blogs – the big popular ones as well as the smaller, more personal ones. She was ready. She had wanted to see the Taj Mahal her entire life. She could remember being fascinated by the beautiful building even as a little girl. Something about it simply spoke to her soul and she had never been able to describe it any better than that. It was just her bad luck that the place at the top of her lifelong bucket list was in a climate that was Ali’s least favorite.

“Yeah, hot is right” the brunette gave her wife a commiserating sigh. It wasn’t just the 93 degrees, but the weight and heaviness of the air itself that felt so oppressive. She took a breath, feeling excited about their vacation even though she felt like her skin was melting off of her body right that second. She spoke confidently. “It won’t be so bad when we get out of the city though.”

The general itinerary for their 8 days in India was to spend Saturday exploring Delhi and, it was clear to them both that Friday night, trying to be smart about the sweltering heat as they did so. Sunday they would spend the morning in Delhi and then take the train down to Agra in the early afternoon. That was where Ali was chomping at the bit to be. Agra. Home of the Taj Mahal itself. They would spend the rest of their time staying at a luxury resort hotel that was less than a half mile from the Taj Mahal, making daily visits to the world historic site on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Wednesday they were taking a day trip West to Jaipur to complete the Golden Triangle and see the sights there. It was a 3-1/2 hour drive each way but neither Ali nor Ashlyn wanted to go all the way to India and miss the pink city itself. On Friday they would leave Agra in the early afternoon and return to Delhi by train so they could catch their flight home later that night.

Ali and Ashlyn did their best to stay awake as late as they could that first night in Delhi. After checking in to their room at the four-star hotel that wasn’t too far from the airport, they showered and changed clothes and went down to the hotel bar for a late, light dinner and a couple of drinks to take the edge off their unsettled selves. After a spirited discussion with the bartender and a business traveler a few stools away, the two wives felt better informed about the difference between Delhi and New Delhi, once and for all. Even well-researched Ali had been confused before their impromptu lesson at the bar.

“Thank God they explained that” Ashlyn chuckled as they went back to their room close to 1am. She was serious, despite the tired laugh. “That’s been driving me crazy for weeks.”

Most of the confusion started when the British moved the capital of the British held territories in India from Calcutta to Delhi in 1911. Delhi had always been a city, the second largest city in the country after Mumbai, but when the British established their capital there they created a city within the city of Delhi itself. They called the new city, New Delhi which confused the hell out of almost everybody. Now, Delhi was called the Capital Territory of India and New Delhi was the Capital City of the country. It was much easier to see the difference with your eyes though. If you looked around and saw old, ancient buildings and structures, you were in Delhi. If you saw modern, industrial looking office buildings and shining fancy shopping centers and other commercial structures, you were in New Delhi.

As eager as Ali was to get to Agra on Sunday afternoon, she was still looking forward to learning more about such an ancient city like Delhi. It was the only city in the whole world with 3 different UNESCO World Heritage sites within its boundaries – the Red Fort, Humayun’s Tomb, and the Qutb Minar complex. They were also hoping to have time to see the India Gate – a war memorial to fallen soldiers of the British Indian Army. Ashlyn had always taken a strong interest in military sites and statues and memorials, and India had sadly seen more than its fair share of war in its history. The two travelers attacked their first day that didn’t involve an airplane with gusto. They ordered room service breakfast and plotted out their day, making final decisions on what exactly to see and when. 

They had whittled the list down to about 15 total hours of sight-seeing, not accounting for travel time from one side of the city to the other. They had a day and a half to accomplish it all. They prioritized the three World Heritage sights which took most of the day on Saturday. They headed out into the heat and chaos of Delhi at 10am, dressed as appropriately as they could. All the advice they had read and heard recommended respectful clothing when visiting any of the religious and cultural sights in India. There was more flexibility in the city, but once they left Delhi they would need to be more careful. Ashlyn loved her own style a lot, but she also understood when to pay respect. Both women wore a lot of linen, and lightweight moisture-wicking travel clothing they had bought specifically for the trip. They didn’t look or feel quite like themselves at first, but they decided to consider it a fun sort of role play for the week. They teased each other about what movies they looked like they had just stepped out of as they moved with purpose through the city that first full day. 

“All you need is one of those pith helmets and you’d look like...what was her name...” Ali squinted as she giggled and tried to think. “Catherine! You look like Catherine from ‘The English Patient’” she laughed at Ashlyn’s offended face.

“I’m not wearing a dress” the keeper waved her hand up and down in front of her body as if she was showing off an outfit in a store window or a prize package on a game show. “What the hell are you even talking about?” she laughed with her wife.

“No, not the dresses” Ali shook her head and laughed some more. “The clothes she wore out into the desert – the pants and the boots...”

“Oh, ok” the keeper nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll take that” she brushed the sleeve of the white button up shirt she was wearing and adjusted the blue and red gaiter scarf around her neck with a toss of her head. If her hair had been longer it would have been more effective, but she was still sporting her short fade and avoiding the awkward growth period between fade and shaggy style she had been wearing most often over the years. “Yeah, that’ll do” she nodded again with a wink.

They were dressed very similarly, just in different hues of sun-reflecting beige and khaki and white. The rule of keeping their knees and their shoulders covered was what they followed all week. They both wore shorts, but they were longer and more modest, almost like wide-legged capri pants. Sensible and comfortable walking shoes and sandals were a constant, as were wide brimmed hats to try and keep the sun off of their faces and necks. Ali, as always, worked more colorful elements into her outfits, but kept them subtle – a splash of color here and there. The one thing that looked the same wherever they went, whether it was Boston or Paris or Delhi, was their smiles when they looked at each other. Every single picture of them smiling was beautiful and nobody commented much on their less familiar outfit choices as they looked at the photographs.

In between the three World Heritage stops, Ali and Ashlyn squeezed in a claustrophobic visit to the Dilli Haat market for a late lunch. It was an enormous but authentic bazaar style market full of food stalls, craft booths, and several other types of art and cultural tents as well. It was supposed to be a typical village market, or ‘Rural Haat’, but on steroids because it was in the big city. It was overwhelming, even to a seasoned shopper like Ali. When the brunette started to feel like she was drowning in people and the heat and the noise and the smells, she was sure that her wife must already have more than reached her own limit.

“You ready to get out of here?” she reached for Ashlyn’s hand and tugged her out into the slightly less oppressive air of the street.

“That was... a lot” the keeper’s eyebrows were up high as she tried to center herself again after the cacophony of the market had made her ears ring. “Thanks” she gave her wife a grateful smile, knowing Ali hadn’t needed to leave quite yet.

“Thank you babe” the brunette flashed a toothy grin. “I promise I won’t make you do any more shopping...today.”

The truth was, Connaught Place was another enormous shopping center right in downtown New Delhi that Ali had been looking forward to visiting. Some of the best restaurants in the city were located there among the shops too. Connaught Place wasn’t like Dilli Haat though. It was more like a commercialized western shopping plaza. A giant, circular office building with swanky retail shops on the first floor. It was probably the place that was closest to home for them. Ali knew Ashlyn would love it, and its air conditioning, and was proven right when they decided to make an after-dinner trip there that evening. Almost all of the cultural and historic sites closed at sundown so that left the evenings free to do more relaxing touristy things, like shop and eat and stroll. 

There were two things that made both women nervous during their entire trip and they tried to be conscious of both in an effort to avoid trouble. The first concern was being an open, loving, lesbian couple in such a conservative country, culture, and city. All the tourist brochures said the right things and announced how welcome LGBTQ people were in India, but the reality of some of the restrictive and homophobic laws and cultural attitudes told a completely different story. Certainly the big city was the safest place for them to be themselves, but they both found themselves trying not to touch each other in public any more than they had to. It was an adjustment for them and it angered and saddened them both to have to do it. As far as the world had come with acceptance, there was still much farther to go.

The other concern was the water and the food. Everybody had heard the stories about getting upset stomachs or diarrhea from drinking the local water and eating the local food. The term ‘Delhi Belly’ had been coined for a reason. The water thing was true but the food thing was mostly just because American stomachs weren’t used to handling spicy Indian cuisine. There was bottled water everywhere, at every hotel and most of the restaurants and even at the gift shops of the tourist sights. The guidebooks and blogs had all said the same thing too – don’t drink the local water. It seemed like an impossibly outdated cliché, but Ali and Ashlyn took the advice to heart. There was no way they were going to have their long-anticipated vacation ruined by being stuck in a bathroom.

Connaught Place was also where most of the nightlife in the city took place, at least for the tourists anyway. Ali and Ashlyn enjoyed a couple of drinks while they took in as much of the Delhi nightlife as they could. They were both exhausted after their long, exciting day and could barely keep their eyes open, especially after the second drink. Thoughts of the comfortable bed waiting for them back at the hotel made the decision to leave Connaught Place an easy one, for both of them. It had been a big and busy day that had left them completely gassed. India was, by far, the most foreign place they had ever visited together. Everything felt and sounded and smelled strange and unknown. It was exciting, but also overwhelming and exhausting, especially as they struggled through the end of their jetlag. Maybe starting in Delhi, teeming with people and life, hadn’t been the best idea after all?

“Goodnight baby” Ashlyn leaned over to kiss her wife’s cheek after climbing into bed. 

She chuckled softly to find Ali already fast asleep. The trip had originally been conceived as all for the beautiful brunette, but Ali had made sure to involve Ashlyn with every single decision so they could keep it a fun vacation for both of them. A joint birthday present trip. The keeper hadn’t expected to enjoy India as much as she thought Ali would, but so far, despite the unending press of heat and bodies and sensory overload she had experienced that day, she was loving it. It felt like extra special time with Ali, just the two of them. More so than any other place they had travelled, with the exception of maybe Hong Kong, the two wives were really on their own. They didn’t speak the language and were truly out of their element with nobody to rely on but each other. At least in Hong Kong, as with Ashlyn’s other soccer-related trips, they had a team of colleagues to fall back on. Not to mention the drivers, translators, and guides that the broadcast company had hired to help them with everything. No, this trip was very different. It was borderline frightening especially for a slightly OCD, practically germophobic, ex-goalkeeper. 

But the last thought in Ashlyn’s head that night after kissing her wife’s dead to the world body goodnight, was that being uncomfortable and maybe even afraid was what life was all about. If you were doing it right, that is. If you wanted to challenge yourself as a human being then you needed to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Both Ali and Ashlyn believed that wholeheartedly and had taught their children, as well as the teams they coached, the same thing. It felt good to feel the jangly nerves firing in her body all day, Ashlyn thought as her eyelids got heavier and heavier. Even if it had been too much for her today, she knew it was going to be a thrilling week in the strange land with the woman she loved more than life itself. It would be perfect, regardless of what happened, because they were there together and on their own. It felt surprisingly intimate. Ashlyn whispered once more as she drifted off to sleep, excited but too exhausted to function any longer.

“Love you...love us...”

//

It was almost 3:00pm when the train arrived in Agra, the fourth most populous city in the state of Uttar Pradesh with almost 2 million residents. It had once been the capital of the entire Mughal empire, from 1556-1648 and was now world-renowned for its still-standing examples of magnificent Mughal architecture. Aside from the obvious tourism industry, Agra was home to many businesses and industries. The other big ones were agriculture, iron foundries, and leather and footwear businesses. Agra was situated on the banks of the Yamuna river, 128 miles south of Delhi – a 110-minute train ride if you caught the express train. There were several different trains departing Delhi every 15 minutes, all going to different places with different numbers of stops along the way. Talk about overwhelming. But Ali and Ashlyn were prepared for traveling in the foreign and slightly intimidating country. They spent extra money and hired a local travel service to help them, but in their eyes it was well worth it. It was a good investment, especially if it kept them from missing trains and flights and other pre-arranged tours and visits that had all been planned ahead of time. They both wanted to partake of as much local culture as possible, but they needed to make sure they weren’t doing it wrong. 

The travel service had booked them first class seats on the express train and made arrangements for their luggage as well. There was a guide and a private van that met them at the train station in Agra and drove them and their suitcases to their resort hotel. The same travel service would take them in a private car to Jaipur for their day trip on Wednesday too. And it was a company that was known for taking care of wealthy tourists and keeping them above the fray during their time in Agra. It felt wrong on many levels, but the Kriegers decided it was important to maximize their time that week. And there was no way to do that without taking advantage of some of the privileges available for the right price.

Ali and Ashlyn had always liked to splurge on their travel. It was the one thing Ashlyn was absolutely ok with overspending on. They had done it ever since they got together and had no plans to stop anytime soon. It felt snobbish and shitty sometimes, but both women quickly got over their random bouts of guilt about it. The trip to Agra presented the most egregious case of haves and have nots that either Ali or Ashlyn had ever seen. It bothered them both. The poverty and impossibly poor living conditions they saw that week of both people and animals would be something neither of them would ever forget, as long as they lived. Much of the economy was unregulated so, for example, industrial waste and raw sewage was routinely dumped into the Yamuna river. Despite warnings, locals continued to drink from and wash their clothes in the polluted river. Ashlyn cried at least once every day as they moved throughout the area. All it took was one skeletal stray dog, digging desperately through some trash to try and stay alive for another day, and the tears streamed down her cheeks. Seeing starving children was a million times worse. It was a difficult trip for just those reasons. There was so much incredible beauty all around them, not the least of which was the glorious Taj Mahal, but it made the disparate circumstances of so many locals seem even more pronounced and heartbreaking.

The easiest way for some people to experience Agra, and many other places in India, was to try as hard as they could to ignore everything that was hard to look at. If you had enough money you could pay for a private tour of many of the cultural sites and historic buildings. If you had enough money you could pay for early entrance and expedited tours so you didn’t have to wait in long lines for hours with the rest of the sweaty masses. If you had enough money you could see the sights but not the rest of the stark reality around them. Many people who could afford to, did just that. The upside to that type of luxury tourism was that the money went into the local economy. The wealthy tourists were contributing more than the average sightseer to the businesses that made the city and surrounding villages viable. 

Ashlyn and Ali had resigned themselves to the unease of their decision to participate in the luxury tourism that week. They didn’t love the way it made them feel, but they weren’t willing to live without it for their special birthday vacation week either. They had conquered their guilt in the weeks leading up to their big trip. They had worked hard all of their lives for the money they had earned. They were respectful of the other tourists and locals they would be cutting in front of in the entrance lines. They had it all worked out in their heads and reassured each other whenever one of them felt guilty again. They had done Delhi on their own and been right in the thick of things with everybody else. And it had been hard but good. They hoped that would be enough to balance the bad karma of the luxury tourism they had chosen for the Taj Mahal. But being there in Agra and seeing everything with their own eyes brought powerful new levels of guilt down on both Ashlyn and Ali. Each day they had to fight it off before they could get back to enjoying the sights they had travelled so far to see in the first place.

“As long as we’re grateful, as long as we can consciously appreciate how lucky we are, then I can do this” Ali spoke solemnly to her troubled wife later that Sunday night in their hotel room. “Can you?”

Ashlyn sighed and looked around the opulent suite in the luxury resort they were staying in, less than a half mile from the Taj Mahal itself. She knew her beautiful brunette was right. And the keeper wasn’t trying to be a drama queen. They hadn’t encountered anything they hadn’t expected, read about, and talked about beforehand. But Ashlyn just hadn’t expected it to be so hard to see the other side of things once they arrived. Part of her was tempted to just stay within the confines of the swanky resort and enjoy it for the vacation that it could be on its own. But she hadn’t flown halfway across the world to Agra, India to NOT see the freaking Taj Mahal.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded to her wife sitting next to her on the fancy couch. She squeezed Ali’s hands and met her tiger eyes, filled with concern and curiosity. “I can. I want to. I’m so glad we’re here and I promise...”

“Ash, love, it’s ok” Ali cut her off with a quick kiss to her lips. “Feel your feelings. But if it gets to be too much you’ve gotta tell me. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I will” the keeper smiled softly. “You too though, ok? You don’t have to be the tough one just because I’m a mess sometimes this week, ok?”

“Deal” Ali gave her another peck and pulled her into a hug. “Come look at it again with me” she tugged her keeper by the arm. 

They stood by the window and tried to see the distinctive dome in the darkness, the top half of it sticking up above the distant treeline. There was just enough moonlight so they could clearly see the object of so much of Ali’s imagination over the years. It was two days before the full moon and their much-anticipated night-viewing of the gorgeous monument. The moon would be higher and brighter in two days’ time, but it still did the job that Sunday night too.

“Wow...it really is breathtaking” Ashlyn whispered as she fell under the spell of the ‘teardrop on the cheek of eternity’ as the Taj Mahal had been famously described. 

It was the third time she had uttered the same sentence since they arrived 6 hours earlier and she hadn’t even seen the whole damned thing yet! The keeper was fully prepared to be blown away by the complete Taj Mahal when they saw it at sunrise the next morning. She was particularly interested in the charbagh, or gardens, that surrounded the entire complex. It had been eye-opening to research the flowers for her Taj Mahal birthday surprise in their bedroom back at the end of July. Ashlyn could feel the excited energy radiating off of Ali, a mere 9 hours separating her from one of the biggest dreams of her life.

“Are you even gonna be able to sleep tonight?” she asked her beautiful brunette, nuzzling her nose into Ali’s cheek as she hugged her from behind.

“Probably not” Ali tensed her whole body in eager anticipation for a few seconds and then relaxed her shoulders and sighed contentedly. “I can’t wait.”

//

In an attempt to save their prosperous tourism industry, the Indian government had been trying for years to control the rampant air pollution that threatened the very existence of the Taj Mahal and other historic sites in the country. One of the restrictions strictly prohibited any emissions within a 4,000 square foot buffer zone surrounding the Taj Mahal complex. That meant the only way to get to the entrance was to walk the final quarter mile, or get a ride from an emissions-free rickshaw or tonga. You could board an electric bus from one of the parking areas to the entrance, or, if you were staying at the Oberoi Amarvilas Agra Hotel like the Kriegers were, you could get a ride on one of the resort’s electric golf carts.

The Taj Mahal wasn’t just the beautiful white marble structure that was one of the most recognizable buildings in the entire world. That was just the mausoleum – the showpiece of the whole complex. The Taj Mahal was actually a set of buildings, gardens, lakes and fountains with perfectly organized symmetry contained in a rectangular ground of 1,092 feet long by 1,002 feet wide, or about 42 acres. The complex included two mosques, one of which was never used as such because it wasn’t oriented towards Mecca but was necessary to maintain the obligatory symmetry by design. There were three Iranian-style gates, three red brick buildings, a central fountain and four bodies of water organized in a cross pattern. The Taj Mahal was a marvel of Mughal architecture, at the crossroads of Islamic, Iranian, Persian, and Indian styles. The mausoleum itself took 10 years to build but it took a total of 22 years to complete the entire complex and gardens. Ali had spent countless hours during her life reading about the history and lore of the magnificent place and she still felt as though she had only scratched the surface of information available. Ashlyn had found it daunting to try and educate herself on the historical and architectural masterpiece during the 3 months she had to prepare for the trip. Instead, she decided to get familiar with the basic overview of the place and experience the rest in real time once they were there.

“I can’t believe we’re really here!” Ali enthused bright and early Monday morning. 

It took all of Ashlyn’s willpower not to hug and kiss her excited wife. There were only a handful of other times in their entire lives together that the keeper had seen Ali so happy – and they all involved the birth of their children, or the biggest moments in their relationship together. It was a magical morning.

“We’re doing this!” Ashlyn grinned, already over the lingering tiredness she had felt from their painfully early wake-up call. The megawatt smile she got in return from her beautiful brunette filled the keeper’s entire body with sunlight, even in the pre-dawn dimness. 

It was 6am and still mostly dark, but the Kriegers waited with about 40 other tourists and photographers to clear security and pass through the Great Gate and into the charbagh garden that separated the Great Gate from the iconic mausoleum. Above them, high atop the Great Gate which was actually a building designed to balance the mausoleum at the other end of the gardens, was a verse from the Quran, written in Arabic, “O Soul, thou art at rest. Return to the Lord at peace with Him, and He at peace with you.” 

The garden was about 980 square feet and shaped like a perfect square which was then divided equally by two channels of water, one running north and south, the other east and west. The four quadrants of the garden formed by the channels of water were then divided again by footpaths into four smaller sections each. The charbagh, or Mughal, garden was inspired by Persian gardens and were a common design element of the times in which it had been built. There was religious symbolism involved in everything about the Taj Mahal and the garden was certainly no exception. It symbolized the four flowing rivers of Jannah, or Paradise. In ancient times, Paradise was described as an ideal garden of abundance with four rivers flowing from a central spring or mountain, separating the garden into north, west, south and east. The water provided the reflecting pools that had been used to capture so many enchanting photographs of the Taj Mahal over the years. The 16 individual quadrants that made up the surrounding garden were planted with flower beds and lined with small cypress shrubs. 

“Oh my God...” Ali gasped when they finally stepped through the Great Gate and were exposed to the full expanse of the garden with the majestic white marble mausoleum directly in front of them, 980 feet away, due North.

Ashlyn wasn’t sure what to do. She was stunned by the beauty of the complex, even in the pre-dawn half-light. And she was having a hard time taking her eyes off of her wife who was truly having some kind of out of body experience. Other tourists, and mostly photographers, rushed past them, bumping into the brunette but not fazing her in the least. It was a race to get the perfect pictures of the Taj Mahal at sunrise, before any or too many tourists got in the way and clogged the beauty of the place up too much. Ashlyn took Ali gently by the elbow and guided her down the four or five steps onto the garden path and out of the increasing foot traffic behind and around them. The brunette never took her eyes off the mausoleum, trusting her keeper implicitly. It was 6:15am and the first bits of color were starting to appear off to their right. 

“It’s...it’s so beautiful...” Ali whispered reverently as she took in the mesmerizing sight, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. 

The white marble of the mausoleum was like nothing either Ashlyn or Ali had ever seen. It looked like it was alive as the light slowly hit it. It shimmered, like a mirage that was too unearthly beautiful to even exist in reality. The Taj Mahal appeared to change colors throughout the day and it was caused by a number of different factors. One of the biggest was the sun, but others were the weather, the amount of smog in the air at any given time, and the time of day and season of year. At midday, when the sun was highest and brightest, the marble building looked its truest white. In the evenings, around sunset, it appeared to be golden. And in the colorful sunrise of morning it took on a delicate pink hue.

“Wow...” Ashlyn allowed her eyes to focus, finally, on the breathtaking view in front of them. 

There wasn’t much else to say, so they stood there close together, shoulders touching, and watched the rest of the glorious sunrise. Ali and Ashlyn had seen some beautiful sunrises over the years, many of them in some pretty amazing places. But that one that morning took the cake. Neither of them spoke for a long time, sharing awe-struck grins and love-filled blinks of their eyes when the tour guide, an older local man named Vihaan, gathered their small group together at about 6:45am.

“It was a very beautiful sunrise, yes?” he asked enthusiastically, nodding his head along and smiling broadly.

The small group of 6 tourists, two Americans and a family of four from Spain, had paid for the private tour and the early entrance with an extra fee for skipping to the front of the line to get in and get through security first. This special admission program also enabled their group to stay as long as they liked, instead of having to honor the 3-hour maximum stay like everybody else. It was a sweet deal and it had cost a pretty penny.

“We will start with the mausoleum interior first, before the crowds will arrive” Vihaan explained as he led them along the footpath towards the shimmering pink dome in front of them. “Then the exterior. Then the gardens. Then the other structures. Ok? Ok.”

//

“I can’t believe that place” Ashlyn’s eyes were wide as she and Ali ate lunch back at their hotel 5 hours later. “I mean, I knew it was gonna be amazing, but holy shit!”

Ali had been quiet all morning, except to ask questions of the tour guide every once in a while. She had walked around like a sponge, soaking up everything she could from the ancient place. Her eyes were alert and she seemed like all of her senses were finely tuned to try and absorb every single detail from sight to sound to smell to feel. Ashlyn had been worried at first, but, as if she had known what was on the blonde’s mind, Ali had squeezed her hand and given her a nose-crinkling grin to let her know she was so much better than ok. They had barely spoken to each other all morning long, only breaking the spell and talking excitedly about all they had seen and experienced that day when they sat down to lunch.

“I don’t even know where to start!” Ali giggled as they ate and talked. “I still can’t believe we’re here. We just saw the Taj Mahal” she squealed and then giggled again. “This hand touched stone and marble that was over 400 years old” she lifted her trembling hand in the air as her jaw dropped.

“Unfreakingbelievable” Ashlyn shook her head and grinned back with her own wide eyes. “And I still can’t get over how pink it looked on the outside. I know I’d read about it before but I thought, you know, maybe they were exaggerating. Maybe it was just a teeny tiny bit pink...”

“It was SO pink” Ali agreed with a laugh.

“And I had no idea how intricate everything was. I’ve never seen anything so exquisite in my entire life. Everybody knows, you know, what a custom carved bench or table or door looks like” Ashlyn shrugged as she spoke quickly, words trying to keep up with her excitement level. “It was like that but a million times more detailed. And it was EVERYWHERE. Really. I mean that was just unbelievable.”

“And that’s why the outside shimmers” Ali picked up the conversation through bites of delicious chicken tandoori and other staples of Indian cuisine that the 5-star hotel restaurant had learned to tone down enough for their guests to enjoy without undue digestive upset. “It’s not just white marble, it’s a million gemstones inlaid all over it. They make it sparkle in the sun” she finished with amazement all over her face.

“And how awesome is it that they got all of those different gemstones from all over the place? I think that’s the coolest thing” the keeper added. “Yes, this is India’s crown jewel, no doubt about it. But it’s a Muslim monument, a piece of India’s Muslim history, that’s the most famous thing in this mostly Hindu country. I love that.”

“Totally. It’s like it took so many different things to come together to form this amazing place” Ali agreed. “It’s part of what makes it so special. I really believe that.”

The precious and semi-precious gems had indeed come from all over Asia. The jades and the crystals were from China, the turquoise from Tibet, the lapis lazuli from Afghanistan, the sapphire from Sri Lanka, and the carnelian from Arabia.

“And all the calligraphy too. The way it jumped right out of the white marble panels because of the inlaid black marble characters” Ashlyn shook her head in appreciation. “That shit is hard to do with a pen on paper. How the hell they did that in marble, I’ll never understand.”

“And there’s so much of it – that craftmanship” Ali leaned forward for emphasis. “It’s everywhere. If it’s not a gemstone or calligraphy, then it’s the pietra dura inlay, or the bas relief carvings of all the flowers...it’s just gorgeous. And everywhere” she chuckled. “No wonder it took 10 years!”

“I thought 10 years was a long time when I first read that” the keeper nodded. “But after seeing everything today, Jesus...100 years wouldn’t be too long to do everything they did here.”

//

Later that night, after exploring more of Agra’s sights and enjoying dinner on their private balcony at the hotel, Ali and Ashlyn spent time their favorite way – skin to skin and soul to soul. They were both feeling extra alive and moved by the glimmering white marble that had taken up so much space inside their heads and hearts. They let the foreign rhythms of the day guide them as they had sex. Strange hotel room, unfamiliar sheets and scents and sounds. Everything felt a little different, but in a good way, as they made love. When they had connected like that in Delhi Sunday morning, it had been more urgent – a result of pent up desire but also of the more frantic pace of the big city. Now, Monday night, their bodies and minds had shifted to the new tempo, influenced strongly by the serenity of the Taj Mahal which they could see clearly from their hotel room window. They joked at first about the pink sheet Ashlyn had decorated for Ali’s birthday at home – remembering how sensual and erotic their lovemaking had felt that night. Nothing could compare to being there, right next to the luminous mausoleum that had enchanted so many people from so many places for over 400 years. 

The Taj Mahal was known as one of the most romantic buildings in the whole world, in all of history. It was built as a monument to love. The story behind it managed to inspire even the most dispassionate of non-believers. An English poet, Sir Edwin Arnold, best described it as ‘Not a piece of architecture, as other buildings are, but the proud passion of an emperor's love wrought in living stones.’ It was the physical realization of true, everlasting love. 

“Tell me the story again” Ashlyn mumbled into the underside of her wife’s breast as they lay together in bed after two orgasms each that night. 

Ali was flat on her back, head propped up on pillows against the headboard, with her keeper’s head on her stomach. Ashlyn was lying on her belly, facing up towards her favorite amber eyes, while the brunette moved one hand over her back and the other hand through the longer hair at the top of her blonde head. They should have been exhausted but that night it felt like time was standing still for them to allow them to process all they had experienced that day. It was late but they felt no need to rush or wrap things up. They were content to be in each other’s arms, sharing the same space as the characters in the love story that had inspired the very Taj Mahal.

“What story?” Ali asked, blinking down softly at her wife who pressed a warm kiss into her breast.

“The story of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal” Ashlyn nuzzled her cheek into the brunette’s stomach after the kiss. 

“Oh, that story” Ali chuckled and raked her fingers up the back of her keeper’s neck, loving the feel of the short, shaved hair she found there under her blunt nails. She smiled down at Ashlyn. “Ok, but only because I love you just as much.”

“Love you too baby...”

“Let’s see, well when Shah Jahan was just a boy, he was called Prince Khurrum. One day he and his courtesans were strolling through a bazaar and he saw the most beautiful girl, just about his same age, buying glass beads and silk in the market. She was a princess and her name was Arjumand Banu Begum...”

“He was Drew’s age...that’s crazy to think about” Ashlyn interjected with more amusement than anything else.

“Geez” Ali rolled her eyes and giggled. “If you want me to tell you this amazing love story then you better not keep bringing up our kid and reminding me that he could fall in love like this and leave us any day now.”

“Ugh. Good point. My bad” Ashlyn sighed and turned her head so she could kiss the brunette’s soft skin again. “Please continue.”

“It was love at first sight for Prince Khurrum and he went home and told his father, the Emperor, that he wanted to make this princess his wife. It took almost 5 years, but they finally got married and she loved him just as much as he loved her. When the prince became the emperor, and took on the name of Shah Jahan, he also gave his beloved wife the name Mumtaz Mahal, which means ‘jewel of the palace’. Shah Jahan had other wives as well, because that’s just how they did things back then, but everybody knew that Mumtaz Mahal was the unquestioned love of his life and his eternal favorite. She was always by his side. She accompanied him everywhere he went, including sometimes on his military campaigns. They just didn’t like to be apart. Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal were very happy together and they had 13 children together...”

“Whooooo boy” Ashlyn let out a long, low whistle. “I’ll never complain about 5 again” she chuckled.

“Mumtaz was also called the ‘cradle of excellence’ because she gave birth to so many heirs. It was a name of honor and respect. But when she was giving birth to their 14th child, a baby girl, there were complications and Mumtaz never recovered. On her deathbed, Shah Jahan promised his beloved that he would never ever remarry, and then he swore to build the most beautiful, most expensive, most elaborate mausoleum to be her final resting place. When Mumtaz died, Shah Jahan was inconsolable. He was so heartbroken that he wasn’t seen at court for a whole week and he even thought about giving up his crown and living the rest of his life as a religious recluse. There were stories that his hair turned white because of his broken heart, and that he had to start wearing glasses because he cried so many tears for his beloved wife that he ruined his eyesight. He went into deep mourning that lasted for two years. He gave up listening to music, wearing jewelry and fine clothes, and he even made it a law that there could be no more celebrations on Wednesdays – because that was the day of the week that Mumtaz had died.”

“So fucking sad...” Ashlyn whispered as she let the dramatic story seep into her heart.

“The imperial family was so worried about the Emperor that they started to tell him that if he didn’t come back to court and get back to the rest of his life, that Mumtaz might have to leave the joys of Paradise and come back to our miserable earth. She would tell him to live and help their children live. It was their eldest daughter who finally got through to Shah Jahan, coaxing him out of mourning and back to his duties as Emperor. She took over the role her mother had played at court and helped her father for the next 20 years, until he was removed from power.”

“By her brother” Ashlyn added. “His own son took his throne and locked him up! Damn. They were cutthroat back then.” 

“After her death, Shah Jahan kept his word and designed and started building the world's most beautiful monument in memory of his beloved wife. It took 22 years and the labor of 22,000 workers to build it. When Shah Jahan died many years later, his tomb was placed right next to hers, which went against all the rules of symmetry in Mughal architecture. The two tombs were off center because there were two of them, but he didn’t care. He had to be next to Mumtaz, the love of his life, even in death.” 

They were both quiet for several moments, hands moving slowly across warm skin, thoughts staying with the beautiful but tragic love story.

“How many years did they have together?” the keeper’s quiet voice asked.

“19” Ali replied and caught her wife’s contemplative gaze.

“And how many years did he have to live on his own after she died?”

“Umm...” the brunette paused and tried to work it out in her head. The tour guide had talked about it earlier but there had been so much information to take in. Ali had long loved the story and knew more about it than most people did, but this was still a tough ask. “30? 35? Something like that.”

“When he was locked up in the Agra Fort he could see it from his cell, couldn’t he?”

“That’s how the story goes, yeah” Ali nodded and took her wife’s hand in her own, intertwining their fingers on the bed near her side.

“I wonder if that made him feel better” the keeper frowned. “I like to think it did. Maybe that was kind of like him living like a religious recluse...his religion was his wife and he spent all those years worshipping her and loving her from that tower.”

Another quiet moment passed while they blinked softly at each other, saying a dozen heartfelt things without using any words. Ashlyn pulled their joined hands to her lips and kissed the back of her own beloved wife’s hand. Ali caressed her keeper’s forehead with her other hand, smiling and tilting her head to the side, her voice full of love as she looked into shimmering hazel eyes and spoke again.

“And now it still stands there, like everybody says, the ultimate monument to true love.”

//

The Kriegers went and watched the sunrise the same way every morning that week, except for Friday when the Taj Mahal complex was closed to everybody except those who went to the mosque for prayers. Only one morning was foggy but even that looked pretty on the picturesque landmark. Their Monday visit had been focused on the private tour of the mausoleum itself, with a fairly cursory look at the other structures around the perimeter of the complex, and then the gardens. After the sun was up Tuesday, Ali and Ashlyn studied the gardens in more detail, learning more about each beautiful aspect from the water to the trees to the symbolism of Paradise and the afterlife and how it all connected back to this life. The way the formal gardens had been laid out was mind-bogglingly exact and had used planetary alignment and the cardinal points when designed. The four water canals represented the eternal promise of water, milk, wine, and honey. The only thing that didn’t make sense to Ashlyn as she got more familiar with the Paradise garden motif, was that usually the tomb, or the mausoleum, was always at the center of it all – right where the four canals intersected. But not here. Here the white marble monument was at the far end of the space. It seemed like a big oversight to have been made on such an impressive site like the Taj Mahal. It stumped the keeper and frustrated her.

When they weren’t at the complex that week, Ali and Ashlyn toured the other historic sites in and near Agra. They were all incredible in different ways, the Agra Fort with the Sheesh Mahal inside it, Akbar’s Tomb, the Tomb of I’timad-ud-Daulah, and Fatepuhr Sikri. They even dove into the local market one afternoon when they were feeling adventurous. They didn’t last long because it was too hot and smelly and claustrophobic, but they were proud of themselves for trying again nonetheless. 

Tuesday night, October 31st, was the night of the full moon and the Kriegers had reserved tickets to visit the Taj Mahal at night. The night viewing was only open for two days prior to and after the full moon each month, and it was the only time visitors could enter after dark. Just when they thought the white marble masterpiece couldn’t get any more gorgeous, the full moon lit it up so magnificently that neither Ali nor Ashlyn could find the words to come close to describing it. They hoped their pictures might do it a tiny bit of justice instead. The two moms checked in with their family for Halloween when they got back to their hotel late that night. 1:00am November 1st in Agra meant it was 4:00pm back in Gloucester on Halloween. They were both missing their kids a lot, especially after 5 days away already. Deb, Tammye, and Carol had seemed to have things under control so far that week, but Ashlyn called Meg while they were waiting in line at the Great Gate that Tuesday evening, just to get her take on things too.

“You’re sure everything’s ok Meg?” Ashlyn asked cautiously. “I’d rather just know what’s happening if something’s going wrong. We can’t come home early at this point anyway, so I wish you’d just tell me...”

“Nothing’s wrong” Meg replied with a laugh. “At least not as far as I can tell. I’m going up this afternoon for Halloween and I promise I’ll take lots of pics and let you know if something seems like trouble. Ok?”

“You promise?”

“I promise. Now go and have fun with your wife, would ya?” Meg giggled. “It’s not very often you two get away like this. Don’t make us regret it...”

“Alright, alright” Ashlyn laughed with her, genuinely relieved to hear what sounded like sincere normalcy and non-news. “Give everybody hugs from us and tell Dodge not to run anybody over this year, Jesus.”

Wednesday was their roughest day, largely because they stayed up very late Tuesday night so they could talk to the kids at the beginning of Halloween, and then insisted on keeping their daily sunrise appointment at the Taj Mahal again in the morning. Instead of going back to the hotel and getting some much-needed sleep, they decided to keep their other plans in place for Wednesday too. That meant a 3-1/2 hour drive West to Jaipur to see the sights in the third point of the Golden Triangle. Their private driver was as accommodating as possible and both Ashlyn and Ali got a little bit of sleep during the bumpy drive, but it wasn’t good sleep and it wasn’t nearly long enough either. The 6 hours they spent exploring Jaipur once they arrived were the most painful of the whole week. It was a shame really, because they saw some beautiful places in the pink city that day. But both Ali and Ashlyn felt a little burnt out and they both missed their family after talking with them the night before too. The 3-1/2 hour drive back to their hotel in Agra later that night went by quickly because they both practically passed out. Driving in India, especially on the more rural roads, was scary as fuck and neither mom usually felt relaxed enough to sleep. But that night they both managed it which was a sure sign of how spent they were.

Thursday was their last full day in Agra, and that morning was the last sunrise they would get to see from the Taj Mahal gardens. Ali and Ashlyn both felt melancholy for a little while, but they bounced back and tried to focus on the first time they would be seeing it at sunset from the other side of the river later that evening. The Taj Mahal mausoleum sat right at the edge of the Yamuna River, directly to the North. It was a universal fact that the sunrises there were more beautiful than the sunsets because the smog was much worse at the end of the day than at the beginning. Sunrises had always been special for the couple, but they had also prioritized them over sunsets this trip because of the poor air quality later in the day. Not wanting to go the whole week without taking in a sunset from the Taj Mahal, Ali and Ashlyn had made arrangements to go across the river and visit the Mehtab Bagh, also called the Moonlight Garden, that Thursday evening. The hotel offered a trip once a week where they transported guests across the river and set up a guided tour of the Mehtab Bagh in the late afternoon. They sent along a packed, personalized, picnic dinner for you to enjoy with your party and it was timed so that you would be just finishing up as the sun finally disappeared off to the West. That week the picnic dinner sunset tour was Thursday and Ali and Ashlyn were happy to give it a try. 

“Wait, so this is also part of the Taj Mahal?” Ashlyn asked her wife as they sat side by side in the small paddle boat that was carrying them across the river Thursday afternoon. The keeper’s mind was blown by the revelation.

“The Taj was designed with this garden as a part of it” Ali clarified as they watched local life go on along both sides of the river. There were random animals grazing and drinking, and several local women were carrying large bundles of laundry, some in baskets, some just bundled with twine, on top of their heads as they made their way back to their villages. It was 3:30pm and it was hot and sticky and smelly as they bumped into the dock on the other side of the river. “But it didn’t last for very long because the river floods this area a lot. And it never got the TLC that the rest of the complex did so it’s still not in great shape.”

“You are correct, wise lady, but the government is restoring the Moonlight Garden to its original splendor now” the young tour guide offered with a grin as he helped the Kriegers disembark at their destination. 

There were only about 12 people in their group from the hotel, but the Mehtab Bagh was a popular place to watch the sunset from and over 30 other tourists were already there wandering the grounds.

The Mughal style gardens were the exact same width as the rest of the Taj Mahal complex across the river, approximately 1,002 feet or 300 meters. It was a square with all four sides the same length and there were once four red sandstone towers to mark the corners of the garden – but only the one at the Southeast corner was still standing in 2034. Originally there were white plaster walkways, airy pavilions, pools and fountains all carefully placed throughout the garden, with fruit trees and other plants and flowers filling the four quadrants. One of the water features was an octagonal pool at the very back of the garden, farthest away from the river and the Taj. It was said that the pool perfectly captured the reflection of the mausoleum in the moonlight, hence the name for the garden. 

“Shah Jahan himself said it was the perfect place to admire his late wife’s mausoleum from” the guide finished the hour-long tour as all 12 tourists stared back at him with wonder.

“So they used this garden as like a starting point for the whole complex over there?” Ashlyn asked with wide eyes. “They planned that whole thing off of this pool right here?”

“Basically, yes” the guide nodded and grinned again.

“And nobody even cared about this garden for so long” the keeper shook her head sadly as she thought about everything she had learned about the flooded, then abandoned, then sand-covered and long-forgotten landmark they were standing in at that very moment.

“If the sand from this site hadn’t been such a threat to the mausoleum then we might never have unearthed such beauty again here” the guide reminded the group of the story he had been telling them for the past hour. “It’s very odd how things happen sometimes, is it not?”

Ashlyn was fascinated by the concept of finding something and then building something even better from it, or because of it. The Moonlight Garden, without that romantic name yet, had been built 100 years before Emperor Shah Jahan commissioned the construction of the Taj Mahal complex. But he saw its potential and decided to use it and the river itself as part of the Taj Mahal design. And it wasn’t until the government went to the derelict garden sight to remove the offending sand that they discovered the precise Mughal garden buried beneath it all. Then it all started to make sense. One of the biggest peculiarities about the Taj Mahal complex was why the mausoleum wasn’t in the center of it all. Why was the whole design not symmetrical?

“If you include this garden and the river in the overall footprint of the Taj design” Ashlyn thought out loud as the guide watched her epiphany with friendly amusement, “then the mausoleum IS in the center!”

“Yes. Yes, it is. Very good” he nodded his praise and gave the keeper an enthusiastic bow. 

Many of the other hotel guests in their group didn’t understand what Ashlyn was so excited about, but she chalked it up to them not having learned as much about the Taj as she had in her time there that week. Most tourists came to Agra for a night or two at most and only visited the Taj Mahal complex once. It was far too much to take in after just one visit – even for the smartest and most prepared student of the place. But the guide seemed genuinely pleased that Ashlyn and Ali had a true appreciation of the complex. It was one of the seven wonders of the world after all. 

Forty-five minutes later, the hotel guests had split up into their smaller picnic groups and were enjoying an early dinner in various locations throughout the Mehtab Bagh. Ali and Ashlyn sat on a bench to the left of the mausoleum so they were sure to get the white marble masterpiece in their view as they watched the sky to their right darken and change colors over the span of 20 minutes. It was a beautiful, hazy, blur of oranges and deep yellows and it definitely made the dome of the incredible landmark across the river look almost golden in that light. The whole landscape changed during that hour that they sat there and ate and watched the sunset. It was still very hot but a quiet breeze began to move the trees all around them, and the birds changed their tunes and settled down more too. The other tourists responded in kind, voices getting quieter and activity calming down as well. A peaceful stillness took over the Mehtab Bagh even as Ashlyn and Ali could see the tiny tourists buzzing around the mausoleum across the river – black outlines against the shimmering golden marble behind them. The complex closed at sunset so there was always a lot of commotion at that time of day. It was another reason why the tranquil Moonlight Garden was the best place for sunset viewing.

“I really love that Shah Jahan used this place as a starting point” Ashlyn spoke softly as she and Ali sat side by side on that bench, looking to the southwest in quiet awe as dusk slowly crept in around them. “So many other people would have just built their own new thing and ignored this garden, or, worse, torn it all down and built over it. His vision was bolder, and he was wise enough to see that this place was something awesome to begin with. He created an amazing resting place for his love over there” she nodded towards the mausoleum. “And he elevated this beautiful place at the same time. I love that.”

Ali listened and thought about how her sensitive, perceptive wife had always had a soft spot for older things, and older people, and older places. It was an ongoing theme in the keeper’s life. She restored an old house and kept it in the family. She went back and learned about her own family history, older than her own years on the earth, so she could pay proper tribute to her departed grandparents. She loved spending time with old people and had always made a point to do it, whether it was Old Mrs. Ornstein across the street, or Mrs. Riley her housecleaner, or even Mrs. Riley’s mother Mrs. Cummings! Ashlyn saw value in age and the wisdom that usually came with it. She had also been on the opposite side of the equation herself – old and neglected. She had been released from her Washington Spirit NWSL team because she was getting too old and too worn down. It made perfect sense to Ali that her wife would appreciate Shah Jahan’s recognition of this garden, 100 years old before he had ever set eyes on it himself. The fact that Mehtab Bagh made the mausoleum the symmetrical centerpiece of the entire complex was the triumphant cherry on top. It was a wonderfully satisfying discovery that made both of them indescribably happy and they didn’t pretend to understand exactly why. The brunette knew she herself was going to be changed forever by their trip to the Taj Mahal – she had been looking forward to it for most of her life, but what she hadn’t expected was how profoundly the trip would impact her sweet keeper as well.

“You glad we came, I mean, the whole trip?” Ali asked quietly, tilting her head slightly towards her wife.

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded and bit her bottom lip as her emotions started to rise up. “This place is so spiritual, you know?” She nodded along with her wife in agreement before going on. “I don’t know how to explain it, but...something about the order here, the precise way things line up and the way everything goes in exactly the right pinpoint spot...it feels really good to me. But I also love the mysticism of it all. Whether it’s the Paradise Garden symbolism, or the Garden of Eden, or whatever you wanna call it...Muslim or Hindu, or Christian, or Buddhist, or Sikh, or whatever religious mythology you want to use...the ideas are so much the same. It all fits in here somehow. It’s just...”

Ali waited for a minute for her wife to finish speaking but one quick glance told her that Ashlyn was trying not to cry and wouldn’t be saying much else. The brunette smiled as she met the watery hazel eyes she loved so much and then bumped her shoulder into Ashlyn’s to let her know she was there with her and that she understood. They had both run out of superlatives to describe the Taj Mahal and everything that went with it that week. The brunette fell back on the word that summed it up most accurately but still felt incredibly inadequate.

“It’s perfect” Ali smiled and turned her attention back to the darkening horizon and the fading golden dome across the river.

Ashlyn sniffled and bumped her wife’s shoulder back before finding her voice again.

“Yeah, perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that Ali and Ashlyn sound like assholes in this chapter, patting themselves on the back for venturing back to the local bazaar in Agra even though it's so far outside their comfort zone. They have the money to do the luxury tourism and they chose to do it that way. If I could afford it I would do the same thing. I wrote about it in the chapter too, but I want to make it clear here that they are both aware of their incredible privilege. They're proud of themselves for going back to the bazaar because it is pushing their boundaries. It's not about them feeling like royalty come down to mingle with the masses. It's about culture shock and claustrophobia and feeling completely out of place in a foreign land. I'm not sure it reads that way because I'm not a good enough writer - but I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea either. As always, Ali and Ashlyn in particular, are very cognizant of the haves and the have nots. They know they're lucky.


	12. Amazing Things are Possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everybody's doing well. We're still in a pandemic - even if we're tired of it we're still in it. Hope you can all stay safe and healthy. <3  
> Please make sure you register to vote. If you're registered and haven't voted in a while, please check and make sure you're still all set to vote this Fall. Vote early if you can. If you need to vote by mail, please request your ballot TODAY and jump right on that. Drop off your completed ballot in person if you can, rather than hope the USPS can get it back on time. And once you've done all of that, make sure your family and your friends and your coworkers do it too! Thank you. <3

To say that Ali and Ashlyn returned home from their blissful time at the Taj Mahal to an absolute madhouse would be more accurate than either of them wanted to admit. The 17-1/2 hour flight landed at Logan Airport in Boston at 5:45am on Saturday November 4th. The 9-1/2 hour time change was difficult to deal with on its own – their flight had left Delhi at 10:00pm Friday night, forget about adding it to the excitement of a Breakers home playoff game that afternoon too. And all of that took a backseat to getting caught up with the kids and grandmas and dogs back at the big old house. To add even more anxiety to the mix, Boston was hosting the NWSL Championship Week this season so both Ashlyn and Ali would be far busier than usual upon their return from India. They had known about the schedule well in advance, obviously, but being in it was even more difficult than they had anticipated. They both had thought they would muscle their way through that first weekend home and then be ready to get back to normal on Monday morning. Think again.

“Are you sure you’re gonna make it” Tammye chuckled as she watched her daughter yawn as discreetly as possible in the employee cafeteria at the Breakers stadium that Saturday afternoon. “You should have stayed home, like Ali did. You won’t be able to keep your eyes open by the end of the game.”

“I’ll be fine” Ashlyn opened her eyes as wide as she could and blinked them a few times as the charity luncheon they were attending came to an end. “And it’s not like Ali’s at home napping or anything. I’ve just gotta keep moving.”

“Well they’re lining up for the meet and greet” Carol spoke as she stood behind the keeper and rubbed her shoulders and neck. The large screen in the room rotated through different video feeds from throughout the entire stadium, one of which was the security camera at the main entrance. “That’ll keep you busy for sure.”

The Breakers had qualified for the playoffs, finishing in second place in the Eastern conference of the NWSL, behind the New York Power and ahead of the Toronto Riverhawks. The three-week round robin style tournament would decide which team went on to represent the Eastern Conference in the championship game in the fourth week. Ashlyn had missed last weekend’s game in New York, but she was determined to make up for it with the appearance at the charity luncheon and the meet and greet afterwards. She and some of the players were participating in both, as well as head coach Abby Smith. The luncheon was a fundraiser for one of the biggest women’s shelters in the city and also served as kind of a women’s empowerment celebration. It was held every year in different places throughout the city, but this year was special because the Breakers had been actively promoting their partnership with the non-profit group all season long. The luncheon had been planned to coincide with the playoff push and, hopefully, lead to more promotion during Championship Week as well.

Ashlyn didn’t have to be there, not really. She had been doing her part to talk about the organizations, both the Breakers and the women’s shelter, all season long. And, honestly, the star players of the team were the bigger draw these days. Ashlyn was still wildly popular among women’s soccer fans, especially considering that she was 49 years old and hadn’t played in over a decade. But she was no longer the face of the team and hadn’t been for a while. She was a very popular owner of one of the most successful teams in the entire league and she could have simply begged off the afternoon’s events. But that wasn’t Ashlyn’s style. No, she would attend the luncheon, then participate in the meet and greet, then kill 2 hours of time before the playoff game started at 4pm. She could do it, she knew she could. At least she hoped she could.

“Can you guys check on the boys for me?” the keeper asked as she yawned again and stood up to stretch out her stiff back. “I’m sure they’re in the game room, but...”

“I’ll go” Carol gave Ashlyn’s back one last rub and then patted it softly. “Any instructions when I find them?”

“No, just...stay out of trouble” the keeper adjusted the front of her pants to try and get them looking less wrinkled after sitting for an hour. “And make sure they’re in the box at 3:30pm when everybody else gets here. Thanks Carol.”

“We need to talk about those boys” Tammye lowered her voice. “I adore Ethan, but...”

“Were they too much?” Ashlyn turned quickly to face her mother, eager for the straight scoop on Drew and Ethan’s behavior while she and Ali were on vacation. “Were they awful Mom? Please tell me the truth. I can’t fix it if I don’t have the facts.”

“They weren’t awful, but they weren’t easy either” the grandma admitted with a frown. 

Part of the reason Ashlyn had taken both Drew and Ethan to the stadium with her that morning was because it was obvious that everybody else in the big old house was sick to death of them. Even Lily who usually adored big brother Drew, no matter what, seemed happy to be rid of them. It helped, of course, that he always took it easy on his youngest sister. Ali and Deb stayed behind with Josie, Dodge and Lily, in part, to get them to, and coach, the last weekend of youth soccer games, but also partly to get some separation between the two factions of kids.

“Was Ethan at the house every day?”

“He was” Tammye nodded thoughtfully. “You know, that boy is troubled. He doesn’t seem like himself. I know he’s 15 and being a ‘teenager’ and all, but I don’t know...” she paused and cocked her head as she thought out loud. “I think you need to talk to him, or maybe his parents.”

Ali and Ashlyn hadn’t shared their concerns about Ethan’s uncle being back in town with anyone yet. They were still gathering their facts and information so they could make their own informed opinion on the situation.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea mom. Thanks. I will” the keeper replied and gave her mother a grateful hug. “Thanks again for always being here for me, for us. It means a lot.”

“Oh honey, I’m glad to be here. It’s nice to be able to help out now and again” Tammye squeezed her girl tight. “Now go on with you” she pulled back from the hug and playfully patted Ashlyn on her butt, “those fans need some meeting and greeting.”

Meanwhile back at the big old house, Ali was struggling with a different, but just as important, matter.

“Moooooom” Lily whined from her bedroom, stomping her foot dramatically and acting more and more like her sister Josie than ever before. “I don’t have anything to weaaaaarrrrr.”

It was 11:30am and Ali and Deb had brought the 3 kids home for a quick lunch before Lily’s 1:00pm soccer game. Dodge and Josie had both already played that morning and were in the kitchen with Deb raiding the refrigerator.

“Please stop whining” Ali sighed as she stepped into the 11-1/2 year old’s room 15 seconds later. “I’m right here. But I don’t know what the problem is honey” she made a conscious effort to stay patient as she crossed the room to stand next to Lily in front of her dresser. “You’ve been playing in the same uniform all season. What’s the matter with your shirt now?” the brunette rested her hand on her daughter’s shoulders and gave her a little squeeze.

Lily was already wearing her uniform because Ali and Deb hadn’t been sure they’d be coming back to the house between games or not. It was cold in early November so the blonde wore sweatpants over her game shorts and a long sleeved color matched thermal shirt underneath her uniform shirt, just like she had worn the last couple of weeks. It made absolutely no sense to the brunette why her daughter’s shirt could be causing her problems on the very last game of the damned season. But it clearly was.

“It’s too tight” Lily huffed and folder her arms across her chest with a pout.

“It doesn’t look too tight” Ali turned them both so they were facing each other and surveyed the clothes on her daughter’s body. “Your thermal looks good, not too loose and not too tight. Your shirt seems...fine honey” she creased her forehead as she tried hard to figure the problem out. “It’s not too tight...”

“It’s too loose then” Lily repeated her antics from a minute earlier, knocking Ali’s hand away as she crossed her arms again.

“Lil, what’s going on?” the brunette took a deep breath and tried to use Ashlyn’s method of counting to 10 before saying anything else and potentially making the situation worse.

“I tooooollllld you...” she whined again as her bottom lip began to quiver, “I can’t wear this shirt!”

“Sweetheart, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s happening” Ali exhaled a long breath and took a quick look at her watch. “And we don’t have time for this to be a whole long thing, so...”

“I’m not going then!”

Ali knew that wasn’t what Lily really wanted. They were both excited to be with their team for the last game. They had already discussed it earlier in the day.

“You have to wear your uniform to play in the game” Ali began to lay out the facts that she hoped would lead her daughter towards a resolution. “We have to leave in 40 minutes and we still need to eat lunch...”

“She’s being a baby because she doesn’t have a sports bra” Josie spoke from the doorway, surprising both Ali and Lily.

“What?” the brunette turned to look at Josie, hoping her words would make more sense that way.

“Shut UP!” Lily yelled and shot a fiery glare at her sister. “And get OUT of my room!”

“I’m not in your room” Josie countered with a know it all shrug. “I’m in the hall...”

“Get outta here!” Lily yelled again, this time punctuating it by stomping to the door and slamming it shut in her sister’s smirking face.

“That’s enough, both of you knock it off” Ali found her words after a moment of stunned confusion. “Josie go back downstairs...”

“But I came up to change my clothes. Kayla’s gonna meet us there, remember? So she can come to the Breakers game with us...”

“Fine, whatever” Ali’s voice couldn’t hide her mounting frustration and her jet-laggy fuzzy-headedness. “Just...go change your clothes and leave us alone please.”

Lily had retreated to her bed and was sitting against the headboard clutching several of her stuffed animals to her chest as she hunched over and cried softly into them. How could she still be so little...little enough to need the comfort of her stuffed animals, and be upset about a non-existent bra? What the hell was happening? How long had Ali and Ashlyn actually been away??

“Listen” the brunette spoke tenderly to her youngest child as she sat facing Lily on the edge of her bed. “You don’t have to be upset sweetie. I’m right here and you can talk to me. Tell me what’s the matter and we can figure it out together, ok?”

There was no response for a minute.

“It’s the sports bra” Josie’s voice came through the closed door in a matter-of-fact reply. “I already told you...”

“Josephine Marie Krieger!” Ali turned her head and yelled at the door. She was just as aggravated with herself for not listening to make sure she heard the redhead’s footsteps moving down the hallway before she tried to talk to Lily again in the first place. That’s what happened when you were gone on vacation. You got rusty, just like that. “Get away from that door right now or you won’t be going to any other games this afternoon at all!! Now move it!!”

Instead of making the situation worse, hearing her sister get yelled at seemed to improve Lily’s mood. The blonde girl giggled as both she and Ali heard Josie stomping down the hallway towards the front of the house and her own bedroom.

“Ok, so...” the brunette shook her head and chuckled. “Where were we?”

It took another long several minutes, but Lily finally admitted that her sister was correct.

“Aw Lilybelle” Ali’s face jumped into a sweet smile that only got bigger when she saw it was being well-received by the blonde. “I wish you’d told me sooner...” her mind was more relaxed now that she knew what the problem was, but spinning anew as it tried to find a solution. 

“You weren’t here though” Lily replied with an innocent shrug of her shoulders. 

She meant no harm and wasn’t trying to make her mother feel guilty for going on vacation. She was simply stating a fact without any judgment. But Ali felt the guilt anyway, deep in her heart. She swallowed the lump in her throat and pressed on.

“Well I’m here now, so let’s get this figured out” the brunette pushed back against the guilt as hard as she could. “Why do you feel like you need a bra now, honey?”

“I just do, ok?” Lily’s mood changed quickly from amusement to embarrassment – just like that.

“Ok, ok” Ali relented just as fast. “We can talk about that later. Let’s just get you a sports bra to put on, ok?”

“But I don’t have one?” the girl asked more than said.

“You just get your shirts off, both of them, and I’ll go get one you can use today. I’ll be right back.”

“But we don’t have time to go to the store now, do we?” Lily’s eyes looked slightly panicked. She really didn’t want to miss her game.

“No baby girl, we don’t” Ali got up and kissed the top of her daughter’s head before moving to the bedroom door. “But I know who has one we can borrow” she winked before moving into the hall towards Josie’s room.

“She’s not gonna let me borrow one” Lily raised her eyebrows, surprised her mom would even consider such a wild solution. Josie was fussy as hell about her clothes and hated sharing them with her sister. It would be a common, permanent theme between the two siblings for the rest of their lives. “Are you crazy?”

“Just, trust me” Ali nodded confidently. “I’ll be right back. Get moving now” she waved her hand around in Lily’s general direction to remind her to do her part.

“Good luck” Lily giggled as she got up and started to get undressed.

It wasn’t easy, but Ali negotiated one of Josie’s five sports bras from her and was back in Lily’s room in a matter of minutes. As she entered the room she caught sight of her youngest child staring at herself in the mirror, trying to see more of her body than was possible from the mirror’s medium size and position above the dresser. Now that she was looking for it, yeah, Ali could see that Lily’s breasts had started to develop more. The little breast buds that had appeared around her 10th birthday were now starting to grow and it certainly appeared to be time for a bra. Lily was the same height as Josie but would soon be taller than her older sister. She had hit every growth milestone faster then the redhead had too, including breast buds and her first bra. Lily seemed to be about 6 months ahead of what Josie’s pubescent schedule had been, so far anyway. 

Ugh. It was happening. The twins were entering puberty and that thought alone nearly made Ali sob right there in the doorway that hectic Saturday.

“Come on” she smiled at the blonde and reached for her hand. “Let’s go into the bathroom so you can see.”

Fifteen minutes later, and with only fifteen minutes before they needed to leave the house again, Ali and Lily joined the family at the nook table.

“Geez, finally” Dodge rolled his eyes. “What took so long?”

“Everything ok ladies?” Deb asked the latecomers at the same time, but with a warm smile on her face. She didn’t know what was up, but she knew something was going on. 

“Everything’s fine” Ali looked quickly at Lily’s nervous face and gave her back a reassuring rub as they took their seats around the table. “Right Lil?”

“Yep” the girl blushed and grinned sheepishly at her mother, relieved that she had not spilled her private secret.

Before Josie could add her commentary, Ali quirked an eyebrow the redhead’s way that left her chewing on her unspoken words. There was an awkward few seconds of silence while they all looked each other over suspiciously. Lily held her breath waiting for Josie’s teasing or Dodge’s taunting, no matter how playful...but it didn’t come.

“Alrighty then” Deb filled the void with a calm but timely suggestion. “Eat up. We’ve gotta go in 15 minutes.” 

Ali wasn’t sure if it was the newfound confidence of her first sports bra or not, but Lily played like a superstar that game. She got a hat trick and helped her team win that final game of their season and seemed to enjoy it more than usual too. The brunette was also unsure if it was the jet lag and discombobulation from returning from abroad, or something else that caused her to become far more emotional about coaching that day’s games as well. It had been the last soccer youth game she would ever coach Josie in, and it had been the first of the maturing Lily too. Welcome home mom. What a day. And it wasn’t even half over yet.

//

The Breakers drew the Riverhawks and then those 3rd place in the Eastern Conference Riverhawks went on to beat NY the following weekend, earning them a narrow victory in the Eastern Conference playoff tournament and their very first appearance in the Championship game. It had taken the Toronto organization 11 years to climb to the top of the mountain and they would have to defeat the rising Utah Royals to claim the championship trophy. Utah had been the last team to join the NWSL, bringing the league total to 20 teams back in 2027. They had never even made the playoffs before last season and then they had made it all the way to the Championship game themselves, only to lose to the Breakers. This year the Royals finished in first place in the Western Conference and sat atop the combined table to win the Supporters’ Shield Award for the first time in franchise history as well. They came out of the Western Conference playoff tournament in first place again, beating both the LA Strikers and the Colorado Rush to do so. 

Boston was crushed not to have the opportunity to defend their title in front of their home fans, and the added disappointment at a rematch from last year’s title game was tough to take. The NWSL fans and pundits had all picked either Boston or NY to face off against Utah, but the overlooked Toronto team stunned everybody. They made a hell of a game out of the Final too, bringing the Royals all the way to penalty kicks before losing a heartbreaker when one of their youngest players sent their pk into the upper decks of the stadium, wilting under the pressure. Utah became the 12th team in the history of the NWSL to take home the trophy – and that included the Western New York Flash win back in 2016. The original 10 teams that had been the foundation of the league back when Ashlyn had still been playing had all enjoyed a distinct advantage over the New Era teams that followed. The newer teams had to build up their roster and their culture and their style and it took time. 

All of the original 10 teams had won at least one NWSL Championship in the 21 years since the league began back in 2013, with the Houston Dash being the last one in 2028, all except for one. Somehow the Washington Spirit had never managed it. They were considered the most cursed team in the league, akin to how the Red Sox suffered through the 86-year long Curse of the Bambino before finally winning another World Series Championship back in 2004. That was the Spirit in the NWSL. They had yet to even make it back to the playoffs since their one and only Championship game appearance in 2016. The dismantling of that team and the homophobia and piss-poor management and ownership of the team was the beginning of the bad luck, as league lore went anyway. Of course, the rise of so many other great teams in the Eastern Conference hadn’t helped Washington either. 

With their win this season, Utah also became only the 5th team to win both the Shield and the Championship in the same season. That was a difficult thing to do, and it only got harder with each passing year as the league grew and expanded and improved. It was always exciting to see a new team win the big prize. Any fan would agree, but it took the other 5 playoff teams a bit longer to feel those same sentiments. Their biggest dreams had just been crushed after all. They needed a minute. So Ashlyn the owner of the Breakers was thrilled for the league that a new team, the very last team to join the NWSL in the New Era no less, had won it all that year. Every owner benefitted when the league grew and improved like that. But Ashlyn the Breakers fan and former player was devastated that her blue babies hadn’t gotten the chance to win another cup in their home stadium. That would sting for a while.

The Breakers fans and supporters would have to settle for watching their team take out their frustrations on the LA Strikers in the runners up game instead. At least the Breakers won that one and finished in third place overall. That was always a great game to gauge how much heart a team had. If they could lose the game that would have taken them to the championship game and still find some focus to play well in that runner’s up game afterwards - that was a team to keep your eye on. That was a team that would come back stronger next year and the year after and the year after. LA played hard too and it was a very close game, but Boston made sure to win the one game they did get to play in front of their home fans on Championship Weekend. It just wasn’t the game they had hoped it would be.

The only people who worked harder than the athletes who competed that Championship Week were the agents at Knight-Harris. As had happened the other two times Boston had been the host city for the NWSL’s big event, it was all hands on deck for K-H, from top to bottom. Ali and Ashlyn had barely gotten their feet back under them from their vacation before they were wining and dining potential clients and sponsors and athletes. It was one of the biggest benefits of having your city as the host – everybody who was anybody, and even most of the nobodys, came to your city for Championship Week. It was an advantage that only happened every so often. Boston had been lucky to host two of the earlier weeks before the league had fully expanded. But now that there were 20 cities to rotate through, Boston wasn’t scheduled to host again until 2047! LA had hosted last year and their next slot wasn’t until 2057! Ali and everybody at K-H was determined to make the most of it this year, and they worked their butts off that week.

Ali herself worked harder than ever before but she had a stronger than usual motive. She wanted to make sure Meg got drafted and then got the best contract she could possibly put together for her. Selfishly, the Krieger clan wanted Meg to go to one of the teams in the Northeast so they could go to more of her games. If it couldn’t be Boston or New York, then Toronto rounded out the top 3 choices. Washington DC was about the same distance as Toronto, but nobody wanted anything to do with that damned curse, despite two new ownership changes starting back in 2019. Meg wouldn’t say a word about any of the teams. She didn’t want to jinx herself or make it seem like she was overconfident in any way. She always said the exact same thing when anyone asked her where she wanted to go.

“I just want to get drafted. I don’t care where I go. I’ll be happy just to be drafted.”

Geography was something only the family really worried about. There were more challenging elements at play in the draft game that Ali agonized over. Which teams needed a keeper? Which teams were going to hang on to their draft picks and which ones were going to bundle them up to make a trade of some kind? Which teams who needed a keeper would be able to get one at the right time? Drafting NWSL keepers was streaky business. Most of the teams held off on them for as long as possible, drafting other positions first. You could only play one keeper at a time so you just didn’t need that many of them on your team. It was a supply and demand thing based mostly on need. Keepers also tended to play longer and have lengthier careers than the other position players. So sometimes some excellent keepers never even got drafted because of those two factors. It was dicey business drafting a keeper. And once the first one got picked, it was like an avalanche. Every team that wanted to draft a keeper, hopefully in later rounds, had to jump right in and make their pick early because they were afraid some other team would get the player they had their hearts set on. It was stressful. The brunette was more anxious about getting Meg drafted and signed than she had ever been about any of Ashlyn’s deals. 

“You’ve gotta relax baby” Ashlyn suggested at the dinner table the week after Utah’s big win. “She’s gonna get picked. I know it. I can feel it.”

“I’m glad you’re so sure” Ali smiled back sincerely, despite the tension she felt in her own stomach. “But it’s my job to worry about it” she added with a slight quirk of her eyebrow, telling her wife not to try and downplay the importance of what she was doing. “But we don’t have to worry about it now, do we guys?”

The two moms had barely seen their children or each other the week before, coming and going early in the morning and late at night. Ali and Ashlyn chose the divide and conquer strategy to spread as much Knight-Harris VIP attention as possible. It was a good thing Deb and Ken and Vicki were around to help with the kid shuttle service requirements during Championship Week. And now it was Monday of Thanksgiving week and things were rushed and hectic for totally different reasons. It was the first time all 6 Kriegers who lived in the big old house had sat together for a meal in what felt like forever but was really only 10 days. Still – on the heels of their vacation the added schedule intensity had left Ali and Ashlyn feeling disconnected from the kids. 

“I hope she goes to New York” Josie offered as she dove into the mostaccioli that Ali had made for dinner. It was something that all the kids loved, even Lily who enjoyed the special small pan of the pasta, Bolognese sauce, and cheese dish that her mom had made for her without any meat. 

“You’re just saying that because Lady Gaga already said she wants her” Drew scoffed. “All you care about is Lady Gaga and Vero Nixon” he rolled his eyes. “New York isn’t gonna pick high enough to get her anyway, they won the Eastern Conference, remember? They’ll be picking second to last in each round.”

“Well I want her to play for the Breakers, duh” Lily mumbled around a mouthful of her dinner. 

“You’re gonna make that happen, right Mama?” Dodge asked, serious blue eyes locking onto Ashlyn’s as they all turned to look at the keeper expectantly.

“Uh, well, yeah we’d love to have her, of course” she began to answer the question the way she had been answering it since people – media and soccer executives and family alike – started asking her at the beginning of the NWSL playoffs. “But we’ve already got one of the best goalkeepers in the league...”

“It would be great for all of us to have her play here in Boston, wouldn’t it?” Ali picked up the topic to try and save her wife the pain of having to spell it out for the kids again. “But the best thing for Meg is to be able to play a lot and learn a lot at the same time...”

“She’s gotta go someplace that sucks so she can get more playing time, maybe even start” Drew put his own spin on it. “She’s not going to Boston or New York.”

“We don’t know where she’s going” Ashlyn shrugged as she and Ali shared a quick grin at the way Drew obviously understood the league and the draft and professional soccer in general. “And remember, just because she gets drafted by a team doesn’t mean that’s where she’s going to end up when training camp starts in February.”

“Why not?” Lily frowned in confusion.

“She could get traded to New York!” Josie’s eyes flashed with excitement. “That would be so awesome.”

“New York has a couple of good keepers already though” Ali cautioned, trying to modulate the redhead’s expectations. “We don’t really know what’s going to happen at the draft. That’s why we have to wait and see.”

“But can’t you get her to a team that needs her and will start her mom?” Dodge’s anxious blue eyes were focused intently on Ali this time. “Isn’t that your job?”

He didn’t mean to sound so accusatory and Ashlyn winced when she heard his tone. She knew that Ali was already feeling enormous stress about it and this kind of added pressure, no matter how innocently intended, hit the brunette extra hard.

“It is” Ali nodded slowly. “And that’s what I’m trying to do” she gave the table a smile that she hoped would come across as confident and reassuring. 

She really wanted to cry. A lot of the people she loved the most were going to be disappointed in so many ways when the draft happened, and there wasn’t much she could do about it. Everybody had their favorite team, second favorite after the Breakers of course, and all four of Meg’s siblings wanted her to go to that team and start and dominate the league. Ali and Ashlyn, and Drew, knew as they sat there at that table that it would be hard to make any of those things happen. Especially not at draft time.

“Mom’s most important job is to make sure Meg signs a contract with a team before preseason” Ashlyn took her turn bailing her wife out of a tough question. “A good contract, one that will be fair to Meg and allow her to play and grow with whatever team is lucky enough to have her next season.”

They were all quiet for a moment, which was rare around the boisterous dinner table. Just when Ali was about to try and say something else to quell her kids’ fears, Drew’s confident high school sophomore opinion filled the space around them and made them all groan and then laugh together.

“As long as it’s not the Spirit...” he looked up to the ceiling and pretended to pray, exaggerating his gestures and using a dramatic, desperate voice “...anyplace other than that crappy club, please!” 

//

The rest of the holiday week went by in a blur. Thanksgiving last year had been different for most of the extended Krieger holiday group. Meg’s college playoff calendar had upended normal schedules for everybody. Deb had gone to NYC with Jared and Iris Kimball to spend the long weekend with Kyle and his family. Ken and Vicki Krieger had gone to Koty and Brianna’s and then up to the NH Krieger’s afterwards. Dom’s parents were in town so the Dwyers hosted their own Thanksgiving last year. Whitney and Ryan hosted both sides of their family as they continued to stay close to home for Tommy’s treatments. Ali and Ashlyn had taken the kids and dogs up to the Veterans center in NH to spend their first holiday with cousin Jeremiah, while Meg and Niki Cross and the rest of the BC team were in California for their College Cup game. And while everybody seemed to enjoy the change-up last year, they were all looking forward to getting back to the more usual agenda this year.

Thanksgiving Day itself was just as busy as it had been last year, but this year Ali and Ashlyn added hosting duties to their list of things to do. Ken and Vicki had offered and probably should have insisted, but Ali felt guilty that her father had hosted the last two Thanksgivings before last year. It was definitely she and Ashlyn’s turn this year. No doubt. Thankfully, Deb showed up bright and early to help with everything kitchen-related so the two moms could get their kids everyplace they needed to be that morning. Dodge had a football game at 9am, Drew was marching in the Thanksgiving Day parade with the high school band again from 8am to almost noon by the time it was all said and done. And Josie and Lily were both singing in the middle school chorus. The director had decided the group was going to get out more and perform at different community events for the holidays. In addition to several Christmas caroling dates next month, the chorus spent Thanksgiving morning singing at the biggest strip mall in town for all the eager shoppers. Dodge still sang with the chorus that year and was bummed to miss the performance because of his football game.

The one kid who didn’t have any responsibilities that day at all was Meg. For the first time in forever, she wasn’t rushing off to play soccer or basketball or anything else. She was taking Charlie to DC for Christmas this year which meant the young couple was obligated to spend a good part of Thanksgiving weekend with the Applegates. Hannah and a few of her friends, including her business partner and bestie Reenie, were already at a resort in Mexico for the long holiday weekend. Meg had taken Ali and Ashlyn up on their offer to invite Charlie and his parents to the big old house for Thanksgiving and the Applegates had agreed. They were interested to get to know Meg’s local two moms without the strange tension that often accompanied their joint interactions with Hannah.

It would turn out to be one of the biggest group holiday gatherings the big old house had ever hosted, with the usual friends and family in attendance – some not arriving, like Kyle and his family, until much later in the afternoon once their own kids’ schedules allowed. It was a big and busy day, just the way Ali and Ashlyn liked it. In addition to the new Applegate faces, another guest appeared for the very first time. He was a little late, but not too late, and only when he finally arrived did Ashlyn settle down into her normal fun-loving self.

“You made it!” the keeper’s face jumped into a dimpled grin as she opened the seldom-used front door at almost 2pm to see Cousin Jeremiah standing nervously on the front porch.

Instead of inviting him in, Ashlyn stepped out to greet him, leaving the door open but making sure the storm door stayed in place to keep the dogs who had rushed to join her inside. She paused for just a few seconds, allowing her long-lost cousin the usual amount of time to adjust to her presence before she hugged him. As had happened more often over the course of that year, Jeremiah hugged her back, albeit very gently and tentatively.

“Am I late?” he asked quickly as they pulled apart after the brief embrace. “The bus was late and I...I...” he stammered as he dropped his eyes. His hands nervously clutched and twisted the fleece-lined leather aviator-style winter hat Ashlyn had given him as a birthday gift last December where he held it up at his chest.

“No, you’re not late at all” the blonde reassured him with a friendly pat on the arm. “We’ll be sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner in a few minutes. You’re right on time” she beamed.

“Hi” Dodge waved from inside the glass storm door, looking like he was 5 years old instead of 11-1/2.

He grinned at the strange new relative who had illnesses and quirks and demons he could only pretend to understand at that point in his young life. Dodge had endeared himself to Jeremiah last Thanksgiving when he bravely asked questions about his military experience that had been against the rules at the time, but had ultimately led to the breakthrough the family shared that day. The eye black from his football game that morning was still slightly visible on Dodge’s cheeks because he had rushed through his post-game pre-Thanksgiving shower, as usual.

“Hello there” Jeremiah returned the wave and gave the boy a sincere smile. “Happy Thanksgiving young man.”

Ashlyn felt her heart tug at the interaction. Dodge could be brash and rough but sometimes he was the perfect antidote to shyness or insecurity. The keeper felt her cousin’s whole body relax a bit once he saw Dodge and the dogs.

“Hey bud, go tell mom that Jeremiah’s here for me, ok?”

“Sure” Dodge shrugged. “See ya” he added as he turned on his heel and took off towards the kitchen.

“And put the dogs outside too, ok?” Ashlyn called after him. “All of them!”

“Ok!” came the distant reply as the dogs followed the boy down the front hallway.

“Jeremiah, it’s so wonderful to see you” Ali greeted the man, still on the front porch, 3 minutes later. She too gave him a gentle but sincere hug, squeezing him a little extra with both hands as they pulled apart. “I wish you’d have let Ash come and get you” she admonished lightly as she stepped back and took him in. As usual, the homeless veteran had done his very best to look extra presentable that day. “It’s such a long bus ride. And then you walked all the way here from downtown, didn’t you?”

“Oh it was no trouble” he nodded and blushed under the attention. He, like so many other people, had a hard time hiding his sweet spot for Ali Krieger. “Here, these are for you” he reached over to the small table by the door where he had set down the small bouquet of flowers. “They looked a lot nicer this morning...”

“Oh, they’re beautiful” Ali accepted them and gave Jeremiah a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you so much. You’re so sweet.”

Instead of welcoming the man into the house full of people, Ali and Ashlyn had already planned to try and ease Jeremiah into the big gathering by having different family members sit with him on the front porch for a while. Once he felt more comfortable, if they got to that point, he would move inside for as long as he could. The idea of everybody sitting down together for the traditional Thanksgiving meal was still something both Ali and Ashlyn wanted for their holiday, but it had stopped being feasible several years ago. They did the best they could, seating as many people as possible around the big dining room table, and then using the nook table for overflow. When that got full they expanded further to the small kitchen table and the coffee tables in the front living room and the family room. This year they would let Jeremiah sit wherever he wanted and then have a couple of the kids and Ashlyn sit with him while they shared their meal.

It wasn’t Jeremiah’s first trip to the big old house though. He and Ashlyn had continued to get to know each other better over the course of the year. She made the trips up to Manchester, NH to visit him at the veteran’s center and he made sure he was sober enough to meet her, every single time. When she felt like she knew him and what his struggles were and how he coped with them, Ashlyn invited Jeremiah to come to her house for a visit earlier that summer. He had agreed, but had steadfastly refused her offer of transportation. He insisted on taking the bus and getting to Gloucester under his own steam. Ashlyn admired his resolve and his resilience but worried about him on the trip. She knew that he was his very best self when he was with her and her family, but it was a 4-hour bus ride from Manchester to Boston, then Boston to Gloucester. There were a lot of variables that could pull Jeremiah off of his path. 

Just the thought of him getting into trouble while waiting at South Station between buses made the keeper anxious. If he decided to go and have a quick drink anywhere along the way, the whole thing would fall apart. The alcoholism and PTSD were daily constants for Jeremiah. But she let him do what he needed to do. She understood that even though he was down on his luck and struggling with so many demons, he still had his pride. And Jeremiah respected Ashlyn for it. He respected and admired her for many things, but the fact that she truly seemed to like him just for being him was the thing that kept him coming back for more meetings and visits, no matter how uncomfortable they made him. Truthfully, he had grown much more comfortable with and around Ashlyn – more comfortable than he had ever been with another person. They had come a long way and it was easy to see how important each was to the other now. 

“I can’t believe Ash thinks today is the best day to have him come here” Brianna gave Ali a surprised look as they stood in the driveway watching the kids’ soccer game in the backyard. “It just seems...dumb.”

“Well it’s Thanksgiving, Bri” Ali furrowed her brow, feeling defensive. “This is what family is for...”

The warning shot from the brunette did not go unnoticed. Brianna knew that Ali was reminding her of her own uneasy family situation and she didn’t like it.

“Low blow Al” she shook her head. “And Koty and I are taking Tori to my parents’ tonight. So just save it.” 

“Then what are you trying to say?” Ali cocked her head and got right to the point.

“I’m just trying to say that today, with all these people and all this noise and activity, is probably one of the hardest times for him to be here” Brianna replied pointedly. She was a nurse and was always shocked at how clueless some people could be about the positions they put recovering patients into. “If he has trouble on a normal day, then today must be like hell for him. That’s all...”

“Oh, thank God” Ali chuckled and bumped Brianna’s shoulder. “I thought you were saying he shouldn’t be here at all, like...not in our life...”

“Oh God no” Brianna bumped her back, relieved to have the misunderstanding cleared up before any harsh words had really been uttered. “Please. I think it’s great that Ash is trying to help him. I just feel bad for him. I can’t help it. This is a lot for him today.”

“I think he’s doing well though” Ali replied thoughtfully as she looked over to see Jeremiah sitting and talking with Ashlyn and Ken Krieger on the kitchen porch. “This is what Ash wants...what she hopes we can get to with Jeremiah” she continued, her voice tender. “It’s never gonna get easier if we don’t start somewhere.”

Both women cheered for the goal scored on a rocket shot from Drew that they were honestly happy nobody had tried to block. It was the type of screamer that would take the skin off of a defender.

“Hey Jeremiah!” Drew ran closer to the corner of the backyard near the kitchen porch and the gate. “Did you see that shot?!”

“I did!” Jeremiah stood up and clapped his hands again, smile spreading wider and wider across his haggard face. “Great shot! Way to go Drew!” he called back to the beaming teen who had jogged triumphantly back to the center of the makeshift backyard pitch.

Ashlyn caught Ali’s eye as they both watched the jubilant exchange with their hearts in their throats. So much progress was being made, difficult as it sometimes had been that day for Jeremiah. Ali knew without a doubt that Ashlyn had been right about her cousin all along. They both knew that they were inching closer to the ultimate goal of having Jeremiah come and visit more often and maybe even sleep over someday. Slow progress was still progress and it felt like they had jumped a mile forward that Thanksgiving day. Jeremiah had even agreed to let Ashlyn drive him back up to Manchester instead of taking the bus back. It allowed him some more time there at the big old house with his newly rediscovered family. 

“I’d say it’s a pretty good start then Al” Brianna offered after the game had begun again. “You guys know this is a difficult set up for him to thrive in, so you’ve gone out of your way to make it as comfortable as you can for him” she nodded, fully understanding for the first time.

“I can’t take any credit. It’s all Ash” Ali shrugged and smiled. “That big heart of hers...” she paused for a second and looked over at the love of her life again, “it makes amazing things possible.”

//

Both moms were feeling pretty good, tired, but pretty good about their successful Thanksgiving as they sat sleepily together on the family room couch later that night. They had gone through a recap of the high points and tried to laugh about the low points as they shared stories of the day filled with family, friends and love.

“You know what I really missed?” Ashlyn asked after a big yawn.

“A nap?” Ali poked her gently in the ribs and giggled. “Quit yawning or I’m gonna fall asleep right here.”

“So this is what happens when we’re both too tired to make it up to bed” the keeper chuckled. “We finally know” she groaned. “Trapped down here on the couch for the night...”

After they both laughed for a couple of minutes and tried to motivate themselves to get up and go to bed, Ali spoke again.

“So, wait...” she forced her eyes open wide. “What did you really miss?”

“Huh?” Ashlyn squinted back, confused. “Oh, geez” she chuckled again as a big smile filled her face. “First Thanksgiving” she cocked her head at her beautiful brunette and made an adorably wistful face. “It’s the first year in...God...I don’t even know how many years that we haven’t spent in the woods with 4th and 5th graders as Pilgrims and Wampanoags...”

“Oh, that is sad” Ali agreed with her own playful but sincere pout. “I thought about it on Tuesday morning but forgot to say anything. I missed it too.”

They shared a couple of memories of the elementary school Thanksgiving tradition and then managed to get up off the couch. Before they could get very far, there was a soft knock on the mudroom door. Whoever was trying to be quiet about gaining entrance to the big old house had their plan shot to hell when both Logan and Frankie started barking their heads off at the unanticipated intruder. It took Ashlyn using both strong arms to hold onto the agitated dogs while Ali unlocked the door and tentatively pulled it open.

“Drew?! What are you doing outside?!” she gasped. “Do you have any idea how late it is? Where have you been?”

“I’m sorry...” he tried to answer each question as it came at him but there were too many at once. “I know, I know...NOWHERE” he raised his voice to get his mom to stop with the rapid-fire questions. “I’ve just been in the garage, with Ethan...”

At the sound of his name, Ethan stepped into view with a strange, desperate, pleading look on his face. Both moms were so shocked that they didn’t even register the large backpack hanging from his shoulder.

“Can he please stay here?”


	13. Dirty Truths & Teamwork for the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with a little look back to an unexpected conversation from early October, then moves forward to the week after Thanksgiving for the resolution to Drew's Thanksgiving night request that ended last chapter.  
> Let me know how you think Ali & Ashlyn did in this tricky parenting situation.

It had taken some extra sleuthing and tough questioning of both Julie Donaldson and Drew back in early October, but the two moms felt sure they had the facts straight about the mystery of the Machado family that Fall. Jason Machado had been released early from prison up in Grafton, NH. The details were hazy but Julie had heard that he had painted his parents’ deaths earlier in the year as a life-threatening situation for himself. He claimed that the survival of the family business was resting on his shoulders and he needed to be released early to keep it afloat. He told a sob story about his younger brother tragically losing his wife to cancer and having to raise their young son alone. He milked every bit of Sam and Ethan’s story for all it was worth. For the first time in his life Sam Machado regretted not keeping himself more aware of his older brother’s situation. When Jason’s lawyer had reached out to Sam about the parole hearing, Sam ignored the calls and emails and voicemails just as he had been doing for over a decade.

“All Sam had to do was present the legal documents – his parents’ will, naming him as the sole inheritor of the restaurant and the house, and Jason would never have been released!” Ashlyn fumed as she paced the length of the kitchen from the mudroom to the kitchen sink and then all the way back. 

It was late and the keeper and her wife talked about the latest bits of information they had gathered from their just-finished visit with Julie Donaldson before their trip to India. The nurse had just left the big old house 5 minutes earlier and Ali still sat at the small 2-person kitchen table in front of the big double-sided fireplace, facing the mudroom end of the kitchen, empty wine glass in front of her.

“Shhhh...” the brunette admonished, her own voice quiet and low. “I know, I know, but...keep your voice down.”

“Mom?”

Ashlyn immediately stopped pacing and both mothers looked towards the darkness of the family room. Drew’s troubled voice had come from the side of the big double-sided fireplace near the pantry, and as Ali shot Ashlyn a dirty look, the teenager stepped into view.

“Hi honey, what are you doing up?” Ali gave their son a warm but tired smile, reaching out with one arm to welcome him closer.

He hesitated, glancing quickly at Ashlyn to see if she was going to be as receptive. Once he saw his Mama cock her head and blink apologetically at him as she let out a big sigh of regret and stress, he moved to stand next to the table, his back to the fireplace as he faced the room.

“Do you wanna sit?” Ali asked, her voice as calm as she could keep it. The fact that it was 11:15pm and she was bone tired helped keep the tension from her voice, but just barely. “What’s up?” she asked when he stayed where he was. 

Drew stood there, arms wrapped around his naked torso, and regretted the fact that he had only pulled on a pair of sweatpants before leaving his bedroom almost an hour earlier to eavesdrop on his parents’ conversation with their next door neighbor.

“How long have you been listening?” Ashlyn studied his face, after quickly figuring out what had happened. She watched him shiver so she knew it had been quite some time. She quirked an eyebrow at her son, her shark boy, and set her jaw as she tried to quell her own anger at the intrusion. “How long?”

“I dunno” Drew shrugged and dropped his eyes for a couple of seconds. “A while” he admitted sheepishly.

“Drew” Ali frowned and shook her head at him while Ashlyn ducked into the mudroom muttering something under her breath. “You know better” the brunette added with a defeated sigh.

“Here” Ashlyn threw one of her clean sweatshirts from the pile of folded clothes on top of the dryer to her son, harder than she had to. It hit him in the neck and shoulder and got his attention. “Not cool” she said sternly. “Not cool at all.”

“I know” he replied as he pulled the Carolina blue UNC hoodie over his head and gratefully shoved his arms into it. It was one of Ashlyn’s favorites and he knew it. She was mad at him but she still loved him – the proof was now surrounding his whole upper body with warmth and love. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, he thought hopefully. “I’m sorry” he started with the apology he knew would do much to aid his cause.

Ali and Ashlyn shared a concerned look as they watched his skinny body try to fill the hoodie and fail. He was starting to get taller but he was still thin and lanky. He looked like every teenage boy you could think of – bony shoulders and practically concave chest as his body tried to keep up with the growth spurts that came every few months. His hair was still long. The thick bushy style, or lack of style more accurately, looked ridiculous but made him happy. Ashlyn could not get over how much it looked like an actual old-fashioned mop and struggled almost every day not to say so. Drew looked small but big and grown up at the same time. His face was a mixture of anxiety and determination – a look they hadn’t seen too often since he stopped taking the pitcher’s mound in baseball several years earlier.

“Well you’re here now” Ashlyn spoke once she realized her wife wasn’t going to. 

Ali had such a soft spot for Drew and the older he got and the more trouble he got himself into, the more obvious that soft spot would become. At some point the keeper would have to talk to her wife about it, but that moment that night was not the time. Instead, she walked to the table and grabbed the back of the chair across from Ali, pulling it out and inviting Drew to sit in it while she took the seat Julie had vacated across from where Drew was standing. Her voice was not quite a command, but he knew she wasn’t giving him a choice when she spoke again.

“Sit.”

The two moms nodded at each other as discreetly as possible, trying to empower one another and offer encouragement and support as Drew did as he was told without complaint. A good start indeed.

“What’s going on honey?” Ali began, leaning forward and letting her compassionate eyes do much of the work for her. If their son didn’t know by now that they would do anything in their power to help and guide and protect him, then they had truly failed as parents. “Just tell us, we won’t be upset.”

“We know you want to talk to us about this bud” Ashlyn added after a long moment of silence. Her voice was softer and much more patient now. “It’s ok to tell us...about whatever it is, even if you told Ethan you wouldn’t. Sometimes it’s ok. Sometimes there are things that kids, even almost grown up kids like you and Ethan, need some help figuring out. And that’s what we’re here for. Mom’s right. We won’t be upset. Well, not upset with you anyway.”

It took several more minutes before Drew finally started to talk. But he did start to talk. He told them about how confused Ethan was and how angry he was with his father and how mixed up he was about his uncle. Ethan had confided everything to his best friend and Drew felt like a complete jerk spilling it all to his moms. But the desire to help his best friend in his time of distress enabled him to push all of that remorse aside. He might never confide in his mothers again, but for that night Drew knew it was the right thing to do. 

“He hates his dad” Drew shook his head after getting most of the facts out about Uncle Jason’s surprise return and the chaos it had thrown Ethan’s family into. “I’ve never seen him so mad before” Drew shrugged. “And, I dunno” he paused and looked down again, unsure of what would happen when he said the next part, “I don’t like his Uncle” he grimaced. “He’s really creepy. I don’t trust him.”

Drew went on to describe how Uncle Jason had stopped by Ethan’s house a few times in the afternoons when the two boys were there alone after school. All three of them knew that Sam didn’t want Jason anywhere near his house or his son or his wife or his restaurant. Sam had made it abundantly clear on more than one occasion. But Jason did it anyway, determined to find a way to ingratiate himself back into the only meal ticket he had ever known – his family. But there were things that didn’t make sense to either boy, things that Uncle Jason took advantage of and twisted to his own benefit.

“Why won’t Sam help him though?” Drew asked, plaintive and confused look on his face. “He’s his brother.”

“Well, sometimes...” Ali started and then stopped.

“It’s not always easy...” Ashlyn did the same thing when she tried to answer the impossibly difficult question.

“You’re right sweetheart” Ali reached across the table and rubbed her son’s forearm for a second before pulling it back faster than she wanted to. She was still adjusting to the new teenager rules about personal space and bodily contact and uncool moms. “Brothers are supposed to help each other, always. That’s exactly what we’ve taught all of you guys, isn’t it?”

“Yeah” he nodded.

“Sometimes it’s not so easy though” the keeper spoke slowly and cautiously, choosing her words very carefully and trying to work her courage up at the same time.

“But why?” Drew shrugged again and gave them his most frustrated and confused face yet. “It doesn’t make any sense” he frowned as he got more agitated. “I mean, I don’t always like Dodge, sometimes I wanna kill him, but...” he paused and took a moment to find the next few words. It was almost as if he were checking them for veracity before they actually left his lips. He seemed a little surprised as he said them. “He’s my brother and I love him and...I’ll always help him, if I can.”

That pure admission of fraternal and familial love and support made both Ali and Ashlyn’s heart swell with pride. It had always been something they worried about, privately. They never told anybody else one of their deepest fears – that Drew and Dodge might be those brothers who honestly didn’t like each other. To hear Drew, at 15-1/2 years old, in the midst of his hormonal, pubescent, ever-changing stage of development finally admit his love for Dodge was one of the sweetest moments either mom could imagine. The tender moment also gave the keeper the extra boost of courage she needed to tell her son the story she hadn’t planned to tell any of the kids. Meg already knew it, but none of the younger kids did and that’s how both Ali and Ashlyn thought it should stay.

“Sometimes family isn’t always great” Ashlyn began slowly. She felt her wife reach over and take her hand, holding it safe and warm on the table between them. With Ali’s silent blessing, she continued. “Ours is pretty amazing” she nodded and looked at Drew to make sure he was paying attention. “There’s no doubt about that. Mom and I are both proud of the way all of you monkeys help each other out – even though you all drive each other crazy a lot of the time too” she added quickly. She would have to be completely honest or she would lose him and she really needed him to hear this. “I don’t want you to worry about our family. We’re good bud, I promise. Do you follow me?”

“I think so?” he asked more than answered. “I don’t really know.”

“Even in the good families, even in the very best families, sometimes there can be one person who isn’t doing good things” the keeper continued with an understanding smile.

They took the next several minutes and talked about some of the kids in their lives who had made bad mistakes and done bad things, both from school friends and cousins and 4-family friends. Nothing too catastrophic, but enough to get the point across. 

“Well sometimes those bad mistakes can be really really big, and really really bad. And sometimes your brother or sister can be all grown up when they make them” Ashlyn’s voice wavered for the first time and Ali squeezed her hand. Drew didn’t miss the interaction.

“Do you mean like the drinking? Like the AA stuff?”

They took another couple of minutes and talked about Uncle Kyle, and Uncle Koty, and Uncle Chris, and Aunt Beth, and all the other recovering addicts in their family. Drew didn’t know if Jason Machado was an addict or not, but it wasn’t the point Ashlyn had been going for anyway. She wanted to make sure to hit on the redemptive aspect of atonement and forgiveness and all of those important parts of getting and staying clean and sober. But that wasn’t the focal point of her story that night.

“Sometimes, somebody you love can screw up so bad...” her voice caught in her throat again and she looked pleadingly at her beautiful brunette. 

“Sometimes somebody in your family makes mistakes that you can’t forgive and you can’t come back from. Like if they hurt somebody really badly, like physically or emotionally” Ali struggled for a few seconds trying to find the right words. “Sometimes...sometimes you have to protect the family from that one person, no matter how much you love them. If they keep causing you and the family nothing but pain and suffering, if they don’t care about the family anymore and only use it when they need it for something...sometimes you have to shut them out. Sometimes, to keep the family safe, you have to shut out the brother or sister or whoever.”

“Uncle Chris is my brother and I love him a lot, right?” Ashlyn cleared her throat and picked up the story, waiting for Drew to answer.

“Yeah. And he did some bad things, a bunch of times, when he was drinking” Drew nodded slowly as his brain tried to follow along. “But then he got sober and it’s all ok again.”

“Right, right” the keeper smiled softly at him. “Well, Uncle Chris he...” she sucked in a breath but was determined to get it out... “he almost killed me that Thanksgiving night on the beach.”

Drew’s eyes widened and he looked quickly to Ali for confirmation. She nodded at him, sadly but with an encouraging smile to try and reassure him that the story had a happy ending. Drew turned back to Ashlyn, stunned by the revelation and unable to imagine where this was all going to lead.

“Obviously, he didn’t” Ashlyn flashed a quick half-smile and was happy to see a flash of relief on Drew’s face in return. “But...he almost did. And he wasn’t himself. It was the alcohol and the sickness that made him act like that. But that’s not an excuse.”

“There’s never an excuse to do anything like that” Ali added darkly and Drew could tell this was a big deal that his moms were telling him this story. He didn’t understand all of it, not yet anyway, but it was clear that this was a monumental family story.

“But we’re good now, Uncle Chris and me...Uncle Chris and all of us” Ashlyn squeezed her wife’s hand and looked at her with stormy hazel eyes full of gratitude and love. Drew didn’t miss that either. He still didn’t get it, but he had seen it. “And that’s what I want to talk about. The difference between somebody like Uncle Chris who did something awful but then changed his life and made himself better and won back his place in our family. And somebody like Ethan’s Uncle Jason who doesn’t seem to want to or seem to understand how to do that.”

Drew gave both moms a confused look.

“Uncle Chris went to rehab and we all had lots of therapy sessions with him while he was there” Ali explained. “And after he was out of rehab too. It didn’t just happen overnight. He had to work really really hard to get better and then to be a better person before he could be part of the family again.”

“He had to prove to all of us that what happened that Thanksgiving night was a one-time mistake” Ashlyn stretched a long arm out and put it on Drew’s knee. She gave it a pat and then a squeeze, and then another pat before pulling her hand back to her own lap. “It took a long time and it was hard for all of us, but we did it” she smiled with genuine relief washing over her face.

Both moms could see that Drew was getting more confused about why they were telling him this story in the first place.

“Ethan’s uncle Jason hasn’t done any of that” Ali spoke quickly and effectively. “That’s the point. He’s made a whole lot of really bad mistakes...”

“Awful mistakes” Ashlyn scowled as she thought about how hard Ethan’s grandparents worked to pay for their dirtbag son’s repeated incarceration stints.

“...but he hasn’t done one thing to make any of it better. And that’s why Ethan’s dad didn’t want Ethan to have anything to do with Uncle Jason. That’s why Ethan didn’t even know he had an Uncle Jason for so long...” the brunette kept going.

“But that’s why he’s so mad at his dad” Drew blinked. “He’s pissed because his dad tried to hide Uncle Jason from him...DID hide him for his whole life!”

“I know it’s hard to understand bud” Ashlyn tried to soothe the upset before it got rolling. “But the reason Sam did that was to protect Ethan, and the rest of the family. Sam did the right thing” it irked the keeper somewhere deep down inside to have to say those words, but in this case they were true. “I know it might not seem like it from your perspective but when you’re older...”

“When I’m older I’ll understand it better” he rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically as he crossed his arms and slumped down in the chair.

“It’s true honey” Ali added earnestly. “I promise you, if there was a better way to explain it, we would. But you have to trust us on this. Your gut feeling about Uncle Jason – you think he’s creepy – trust that feeling if you don’t trust us enough right now. The reason you think he’s creepy is because he’s a creep.”

They hadn’t wanted to get into all of the gory details but decided to be honest with Drew about everything, as much as they could with the information they had.

“He’s not a good guy” Ashlyn spoke seriously. “He’s a bad guy, bad enough to end up in jail in the first place, right?” she asked rhetorically as she began her list of the wrongs of Jason Machado. “Every time he got out of jail, he did something else bad and ended right back up in jail again. Then when he was in jail for the last long sentence, he did something even worse...”

“WHILE he was in jail?” Drew’s jaw dropped open.

“Yes, honey” Ali felt so bad for her son having to deal with such grown-up things. “And that’s why he got sent to prison.”

“And even when he was in prison he was still such a bad guy that he got transferred to a different prison, a...a higher security prison for the criminals who are worse than most other criminals” Ashlyn’s face was animated as she tried to get through the list as quickly but effectively as possible. “It’s taken him a very long time to even become eligible for parole – do you know what parole is?”

“Yeah” Drew shrugged, which meant he was pretty sure but didn’t want to admit that he still had questions about it.

“Parole is when you get let out of prison early because of good behavior” Ali offered as simply as she could. They had all watched enough tv shows and movies about the criminal justice system that they were all familiar with most parts of the proceedings. “You still have to follow strict rules for the rest of your sentence, but you can do it from outside of prison if you’ve been a good enough...prisoner... and shown everybody that you’ve changed your ways and want to be a good person again.”

“But Ethan’s uncle didn’t do that” Ashlyn’s eyes flashed with anger. “He made up a story about Ethan’s grandpa and Nona, and how he needed to come back home to take care of the pizzeria...”

“But the pizzeria is Sam’s now” Drew scrunched his face up in confusion.

“Yes, well we all know that” Ashlyn blew out an exasperated breath, “but Uncle Jason’s lawyer convinced them and Sam didn’t provide a copy of the will...”

“That’s what you were mad about, right before I came in...” Drew put one of the puzzle pieces into place. 

“Well, yeah” Ashlyn shrugged. 

“It doesn’t do any good to be upset about what Sam did or didn’t do” Ali took over, trying to keep things on topic. “Yes, we all wish Ethan’s uncle was still in prison, where he belongs. But he’s not. So now, we just need to make sure he doesn’t get the rest of his family into trouble or make their lives hard now that he’s back.”

“Wait, how could he get them in trouble? You mean, like Ethan could go to jail or something?” Drew’s eyes were wide again.

“No, no, well, I mean, not like that” Ashlyn stumbled over her words in her effort to calm her son. “But yeah, Uncle Jason has hurt his family a lot, caused them a lot of pain and suffering over the years.”

They explained as much as they could about all of the ways Jason Machado had made his parents’ and brother’s lives a living hell. They weren’t sure if he was going to understand it all or not. But they felt it was important to be honest and then, hopefully when he was mature enough to handle it, the pieces would fall into place for him. 

“The most important thing we wanted to tell you tonight was that family is the most important thing. That’s still true. But if somebody in your family does something so bad and doesn’t do anything to try and fix it, then sometimes the family has to kick that person out and keep them out. That’s what Sam was trying to do with Uncle Jason.”

“And the difference between Uncle Jason and Uncle Chris...” Ali paused, “one of the many differences, Jesus...is that Uncle Chris did everything he possibly could to become a better person, a better brother, a better dad, a better uncle...”

“And Uncle Jason didn’t do any of that. He hasn’t even said that he wants to change, has he?” Ashlyn asked, although she wasn’t sure how any of them would know that answer.

“I’ve never heard him say more than he was sorry” Drew shrugged, and both moms tensed at the knowledge that their son had been in such close contact with such a scumbag, and unsupervised too! “He says things are gonna be better now that he’s back. I dunno what that even means. Neither does Ethan.”

“Well he’s full of shit” Ashlyn spoke harshly, shocking both Ali and Drew with her language. “Drew, listen” she fixed the boy with a serious stare as she spoke low, steady words. “We’re glad you and Ethan have been hanging out here more. You guys can come here anytime you want” she glanced at Ali who nodded in agreement. “We’ll do everything we can to give you guys some privacy here, away from the other kids, whatever. But I want you to stay away from Uncle Jason.”

Drew gave Ali a furtive, fearful look.

“She’s right honey. You don’t know what he’s up to and neither do we. He wants to try and turn Ethan against Sam and that’s already a really bad thing. Who knows what else he’ll do? He’s creepy and your instincts are right so stay away from him as much as you can. Hopefully Ethan can see it too, although I’m sure it’s really confusing for him right now. But Uncle Jason is trying to keep Ethan mad at his dad. That helps Uncle Jason. That doesn’t help either Ethan or Sam.”

“So what should I do?” Drew asked quietly after a minute to think about the scary things his moms had just told him. “Ethan doesn’t really like his Uncle but he’s so mad at his dad...he umm...he told me he wants to...”

Ali and Ashlyn both waited patiently for him to continue but Drew kept his eyes down and stayed silent.

“If Ethan’s thinking of doing something you know is a bad idea then you need to tell somebody Drew” Ashlyn sat bolt upright in her chair. “I’m totally serious right now. This is really really important.”

Ali didn’t know what to say as her mind raced over possible things Ethan could be wanting to do. It was a paralyzing fear that gripped the brunette’s chest.

“It doesn’t have to be us if you don’t want it to be” the keeper continued. “But it has to be somebody you trust. Ok?”

An agonizing minute went by.

“Yeah, ok” Drew mumbled.

//

Dr. Cassidy Emerson had grown into a trusted confidant for both Ali and Ashlyn since officially taking over for Dr. Mattie Olsen 4-1/2 years ago. Ashlyn had warmed up to her first, mainly because she saw her far more frequently than Ali did, but both wives were comfortable with the younger woman’s advice and counsel. Dr. Emerson was more clinical than Dr. Olsen had been, but that might have been a stage of life thing as well as a therapeutic style. Mattie had been older and more established in and accomplished at her craft when she started working with Ashlyn and then Ali. There was a confidence that came naturally from her age and wisdom as well as her expertise and experience. Dr. Emerson was 36 now and that still felt hella young to be giving 49- and 50-year old Ashlyn and Ali advice on anything. Both older women were used to being just that – older and smarter and more experienced than the younger women in their lives. It had taken some time to adjust for all of them. 

It had also taken a few big wins on Cassidy’s part to prove her worth to the Kriegers, especially Ali. But now they were working well together. Ali, in particular, had appreciated the young therapist’s help dealing with Ashlyn’s breast cancer scare back in March. The brunette knew she was being overly dramatic and had tried her best to rein in her worst-case scenario outcome emotions by herself. But instead of the tough love approach she used on herself, Ali was surprised by how reassuring it was to hear Dr. Emerson validate her fears, no matter how realistic or unrealistic they might have been at the time. The brunette hadn’t thought to try and do that for herself. It was a good lesson for her as a mom too. Sometimes the tough love approach, which was both she and Ashlyn’s default mode when it came to the kids, wasn’t the most productive or beneficial. Sometimes the kids just needed some validation and acceptance before you pushed them forward in a loving and supportive way. It wasn’t news to Ali but it was a timely reminder as stress levels increased with each new teenager in the big old house. The therapy appointment Ali and Ashlyn were sitting in at the moment was the week after Thanksgiving.

“She’s going to keep testing her boundaries but it sounds like starting at a more challenging school next year will help in many ways” Dr. Emerson summarized after a lengthy discussion of Josie’s hostility towards Ali that summer. “She’s a brilliant girl and I expect that will mean harder pushes against you both as well as the rest of the boundaries.”

“I know all of that...” Ali’s voice was soft but her face was frustrated as she looked down at her lap. “I guess I just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

Neither Ashlyn nor the therapist said anything for a minute. What was there to say? Josie was really tough on Ali and there didn’t seem to be a singular reason why or any sign of when it might stop.

“Why do you think she’s directing so much frustration your way?” Dr. Emerson asked, using the word they had all settled on over the summer – the last time they had met about the challenging redhead’s behavior towards her mom. Hatred was too strong a word, and anger wasn’t really accurate either. They had agreed that Josie was frustrated and taking it out on Ali. “Why you specifically?”

After another brief silence, Ashlyn spoke apologetically.

“I know this isn’t my thing to figure out for you, and I’m not trying to do that” she glanced quickly at the therapist and then Ali before continuing cautiously, “but...is it my fault for not being more of the disciplinarian?” she wondered out loud. “We’ve joked about it all along, about me being the fun one and you being the strict one” she shifted uncomfortably in her seat a foot away from her wife on the couch. “Did I make this happen by not being enough of a rule-enforcer?”

“No” Ali shook her head and frowned, deep in thought. She spoke to her lap again but her words weren’t tentative. “I mean, yeah we’ve joked about that, but you’re tougher on the kids than I am half the time. You’re definitely more fun though, but I still don’t think that’s it. They all know we’re both going to enforce the rules.”

“I don’t have the answer for you I’m afraid, but if we can figure it out you might find a bit more peace in the understanding of it at least” Dr. Emerson offered the explanation for why they were revisiting the question again in the first place. They’d been trying to answer it for 5 months. “Let’s keep working on it.”

“Thanks for nothing doc” Ashlyn quipped with a heavy sigh. 

They moved on to discuss the twins’ fairly easy adjustment to middle school, Meg’s upcoming NWSL draft and her burgeoning relationship with Charlie, the stresses of having parents in failing health, the big and small wins at work – both Knight-Harris and The Mental Health Initiative, and, finally, the victory they both celebrated from Cousin Jeremiah’s successful Thanksgiving visit. 

“We’ve talked about everybody today except for Drew” Dr. Emerson pursed her lips as she looked over her notes halfway through the hour-long session. “Is that an oversight or are we avoiding something?”

The therapist had her answer immediately. She knew something was up as soon as the two wives shared an anxious look.

“Umm...I don’t think it was really on purpose” Ali began, looking again to Ashlyn for guidance. 

“No, we’re not avoiding it... or him...” Ashlyn blew out a breath and chuckled. “Who knows?” she shrugged. “Maybe we are?”

“We’re having trouble figuring out what to do with Drew’s friend Ethan” Ali broached the subject for the first time. “Drew seems to be fine, for now. But...”

Ashlyn and Ali gave Dr. Emerson a quick rundown of Ethan’s backstory as well as their own relationship with Sam and then Lisa Machado over the years. Then they described the changes in Ethan’s behavior they had noticed this Fall and laid out their theory about how it all coincided with Uncle Jason Machado’s release from prison.

“Ok, that’s...a lot” the therapist nodded as she scribbled some more notes down, concentrating hard on capturing all the facts. “So...what exactly is the situation?”

“Drew had told my brother, back in October, that Ethan was thinking about running away. He was so mad at his dad and his uncle was just making him feel uncomfortable” Ashlyn explained. 

“So that’s who Drew talked to about it” Dr. Emerson nodded. “Interesting.”

“Drew and Chris have become close” Ali offered. “He calls him about guy stuff sometimes too.”

“Anyway, we talked to Drew and told him to tell Ethan to come talk to us if things ever got so bad that he felt like he needed to run away” Ashlyn continued. “And that seemed to make things better for a while, we think anyway” she glanced at Ali who shrugged back in return. 

“Until...something new has happened, yes?” Dr. Emerson leaned forward.

“Yeah. Thanksgiving night, late, after everybody was gone and the kids were all in bed...”

“Or so we thought” Ali rolled her eyes and furrowed her brow.

“Drew brought Ethan from the garage to the house and asked if he could stay.”

“And did you let him stay the night? Did his father know where he was?”

“It was kind of a scene, but yeah, long story short, he stayed at our house all weekend” Ashlyn replied with a heavy sigh.

“Sam didn’t know where he was and Ethan begged us not to call him and tell him” the brunette picked up the story. “But obviously, we had to let Sam know Ethan was ok. There was no way we weren’t going to call him that night.”

“Which didn’t sit well with Ethan” the therapist nodded.

“Or Drew” Ashlyn shook her head. “It was a mess. But we finally got both boys to understand that we had to let Sam know. It was a parent code thing that they wouldn’t understand until they were parents themselves...”

“And we know Sam well enough to know that he wasn’t going to hurt Ethan or punish him. He was just trying to keep him safe and it had spiraled out of control in teenage minds” Ali added, wringing her hands in her lap at the mere memory of the stressful 2 hours it had taken them to convince Ethan that they weren’t going to let Sam take him home that night. “But the damage done to the trust Ethan once had in him...”

“Yeah, that’s not coming back anytime soon. And that’s a real shame” the keeper shook her head sadly. “He’s not my favorite guy, but Sam’s a good dad. I’ll back him up on that all day. This is a shitty situation that isn’t really his fault.”

“He could have told his son about Uncle Jason, couldn’t he?” Dr. Emerson asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, sure, but you can see why he didn’t, can’t you?” Ashlyn gave the therapist a puzzled look. “You don’t really think Sam is the bad guy here, do you?”

“No, no, definitely not” she replied easily. “But choices have consequences. That’s all I’m saying.”

They were all quiet for a minute as the truism hung in the air.

“So, the question is...” Ali reached over and took Ashlyn’s hand before continuing, her voice not at all confident, “what should we do about Ethan?”

“What do you mean?” Dr. Emerson cocked her head inquisitively.

“I mean, should we let him stay with us for a while or do we send him back home to his dad and hope they can work things out?” Ali clarified with a hesitant eeek face.

“Is he still with your family?” the therapist asked, surprised.

“He is” Ashlyn nodded, sounding more confident than her wife had. 

“Interesting...” Dr. Emerson made more notes. “And the rest of your family is ok with him being there?”

“Yeah, he’s practically our 6th kid anyway” Ali shrugged. She was starting to get defensive at the therapist’s reaction. “He’s been on vacations with us before just like Drew has spent a ton of time with Ethan’s family.”

“Yeah, it’s not a problem” Ashlyn stated definitively. “That’s not the part we’re unsure about.”

“We just want to make sure this is the right thing for Ethan before we even talk to Sam about it” the brunette explained in a rush, eager to get to the resolution she needed. “If him staying with us for a few weeks, or a few months...” she and Ashlyn shared a slightly frightened look before nodding at each other as if to remind themselves that this was what they had agreed to before even coming to the therapy appointment, “is going to help him and Sam figure things out, then we’ll do it. But if it’s not going to be helpful...”

“Doc, is it gonna help Ethan’s situation with his dad or is it gonna hurt it?” the keeper cut right to the chase.

“It’s all about clear communication and established expectations. You both know how this works. It isn’t any different than the other things you’ve worked through right here in this office. But this time the communication needs to be with Sam primarily, but also Ethan. And your kids too. Everybody needs to be able to talk about this openly and honestly to ensure the good outcome you desire.”

“So, is that a yes? We should do it? We should talk to Sam?” Ashlyn’s impatient tone was impossible for her to hide.

“It sounds like the safest place Ethan knows, aside from his own home, is your home” Dr. Emerson gave them both a small smile. “And if you’re willing to have him come live with you for a certain amount of time, then I think that would be very helpful for him.” She gave them both a serious look before finishing her official opinion. “And I can’t stress this enough – you need to make a plan that both Ethan and Sam agree to and then stick to the plan. Make sure you have a time limit on things. It doesn’t have to be a hard end date” she added when both moms’ faces registered alarm. “But make sure you have a hard date to discuss and evaluate the progress and then agree to the next hard date to do the same thing. The last thing anybody needs is for this to stretch out into some long, vague slumber party situation.”

“Nobody wants that” Ashlyn swallowed hard as she was reminded of how hard it was to live with a 15-1/2 year old boy, forget about two of them. “Believe me.”

//

The amount of time Ali and Ashlyn had spent talking about Ethan Machado in their therapy session had meant that Dr. Emerson had to rush through much of the marital stuff that was usually the main focus of the appointment. Instead of taking a deep dive into something that was bothering each wife as they normally did before finishing the couples therapy session, they just touched on it instead. Neither Ali nor Ashlyn had been satisfied with the rushed answer or brief discussion. Dr. Emerson had suggested they start the next session with those two issues, and made more notes. The problem was that Ali and Ashlyn weren’t on a structured couples therapy schedule. They made an appointment if they were having trouble with something, or if Dr. Emerson thought it would be beneficial to discuss something that had come up in her routine individual work with Ashlyn or, less frequently, Ali.

“So, why didn’t you tell me you were having such a hard time with Sarah and Erin splitting up?” Ashlyn asked her wife that night, unable to wait for another appointment. She was sitting up against the headboard, waiting for Ali to finish moisturizing in the bathroom.

“Oh, honey, you know...” Ali sighed and gave her keeper a soft, tired smile as she turned off the bathroom light and walked around the foot of the bed to get in on her own side. “It’s not a huge thing, it’s just something that hits me” she shrugged. “And it’s been bothering me more the longer it goes on. That’s all.”

Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile at the faded Elf on the Shelf themed pajama bottoms her wife wore. The two moms were preparing themselves to deal with the fact that this might be the last year of going through the rigamarole of moving the two Elves every night. The twins were teetering right on the edge of still believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas and nobody wanted to push them one way or the other. But they were both pretty sure both Dodge and Lily suspected the truth, and had probably been told the truth by either Drew or Josie. Josie had chosen to believe in Santa and the Elf on the Shelf last year, but it had been her last. After Christmas, she had come to her moms one night after bedtime and told them that she knew the truth. And that had been that. Ashlyn thought the twins would approach it differently though. She expected them to come and ask one of their moms to confirm their suspicions. It would be hard for Ali and Ashlyn to keep the lie alive if the twins asked them point blank like that. That was a conversation for another night though.

“Nice jammies” the keeper leaned over with a grin and lifted the covers up to help her beautiful brunette into bed. 

“Thanks” Ali blinked back and gave her wife one of her best duck faces as she got settled. “I think I can get one more year out of these” she let out a tired sigh and then giggled softly, “as long as you don’t get too grabby and rip them like you did the Rudolph ones last year.”

“Oh geez” Ashlyn rolled her eyes, turned off her light, and welcomed her wife into her side as they snuggled under the covers. “I thought it was the gingerbread people?”

“Nope. They’re a lot newer” Ali yawned and threw her leg across her keeper’s hips as she curled into her left side. “So, you know, just watch it All-star” she poked Ashlyn in the ribs.

“Ow, ok, ok” the keeper chuckled and leaned down for a kiss. “Mmmm...I love you baby.”

“I love you too” the brunette mumbled against her wife’s lips and kissed her back.

“So, I know you know this” Ashlyn spoke quietly a minute later as they got back into position and ready to go to sleep. “But I love you. And we’re good, we’re so much more than good. And we’re not gonna get divorced Al. Not ever. Not as long as there’s breath in my body...” she squeezed the brunette tightly into her side for emphasis.

“I know, thank you for saying it anyway” Ali sighed softly but smiled. She leaned up and kissed Ashlyn’s chin. “It makes me feel better.”

Ashlyn knew her wife took the breakups of the couples they were close with very hard. It was something that shook the brunette down deep, as if their friends’ failed marriages could somehow affect the foundation of their own relationship. Ali’s brain knew it wasn’t possible, but her heart hurt anyway. She had gotten good at squashing the panicky feelings down. So good that Ashlyn didn’t realize Sarah and Erin’s pending divorce was bothering the brunette so much or she would have said the reassuring words much sooner and more often. 

“My point exactly, sugarplum. If you tell me, then I can say the things that will help” Ashlyn pressed a kiss into the top of her wife’s head. “I know there’s a lot going on, there’s always a lot going on” she whined but made it as lighthearted as possible, “but I want you to share those things with me. Even if you know you can handle them or if you think they’re not that big a deal, just tell me what’s going on in there” she pecked Ali’s head two more times and gave her another big squeeze. “It’s easier to help if you let me.”

“I know, you’re right” Ali sighed again, this one more content than the last, and snuggled even closer. “It’s just easier sometimes to let things go. But I’ll try harder.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“But I could say the same thing to you.”

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn tried to play dumb.

“Oh come on” Ali chuckled. “Do you think you were the only one listening in our session this afternoon?”

They were both quiet, the only sounds were the occasional creaks of an old house settling for the night.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were still struggling with the robbery at the stadium?” the brunette’s voice was tender and kind. “We could have talked about it.”

“It was 3 months ago” Ashlyn exhaled, feeling embarrassed.

“So what? Now there’s some random time limit on how long something can bother us? Who decided that?”

“No, I know...I’m ok, really I am” the keeper paused again. “I mean, I wasn’t even there...”

“Honey, you know that doesn’t matter. I know you know all of this. You’ve been so good about managing your PTSD for so long, why are you being hard on yourself this time?” Ali pulled her head away from her wife’s neck to look up at the side of her pensive face. Her voice was soft and concerned when she spoke again. “And why am I only finding out about it from our therapist?”

Ashlyn blew out a big breath that the brunette knew was at least 50% exasperation with her for pushing so hard.

“I don’t know. Usually I have trouble with stuff that happens to the kids, or to you...the family...”

“MmmHmmm” Ali continued to watch the side of her keeper’s face while she gently caressed the top of her chest at the same time.

“I don’t know why this one bothers me so much. I think that’s why I can’t put it all the way away, you know?”

“And what does Dr. Emerson think?”

“She says I feel ownership of it because...well, because I’m an owner” Ashlyn shrugged. 

“You feel responsible for everybody in that building” Ali nodded at the logic, knowing her tender-hearted wife would absolutely bear that extra weight, probably more so than the Kraft family simply because that’s just the way she was.

“Yeah” the keeper agreed, turning to look at her wife with a sheepish, apologetic half smile. “This one was different for me and it took me a long time to figure that out. I was trying to handle it like I handle the stress that comes from things I’m used to...”

“Things that happen to the kids and me...”

“Exactly. It’s like I was trying to work on building up my arm strength but using all the wrong exercises in the weight room” Ashlyn explained. “But now that I know what I was doing wrong, I can start doing the right exercises instead of the wrong ones.”

“That makes a lot of sense” Ali cupped her wife’s cheek, gently stroking it with her thumb as they gazed into each other’s eyes. “I’m glad you figured it out babe” she smiled and blinked softly at her strong and sensitive keeper. “But I want us to make sure we stay close, and talk a lot. I’m gonna be in LA so much in January and I’m dreading it already” she sighed. “It’s gonna be hard to stay connected and I’m really gonna need it.” 

“I know hon. I’m gonna need it too. I’ll do better, I promise” Ashlyn brought their lips together in a slow kiss. “The big things only get big if we let them” she reminded them both of good advice they had always tried to follow when it came to communicating effectively as a couple and a partnership.

“See? You know” Ali kissed her keeper’s lips again and then snuggled back in tight. “We both just have to take the time to do it. Both of us.”

Ashlyn used both arms to squeeze her wife tightly. She knew Ali was right and she knew the brunette wasn’t trying to tell her to do better. Ashlyn knew that Ali honestly meant the pep talk for both of them. She had always owned at least 50% of the blame when it came to any miscommunication they ever had, even when it had been mostly Ashlyn’s fault back in the beginning. It was that magnanimous approach that had always made talking to the brunette easier than Ashlyn had ever dreamed was possible. They both still fucked up, but it was usually just because of lack of time. They had 18 years of experience reminding them of what could happen if they didn’t talk to each other regularly about big stuff and little stuff and all the stuff in between. They knew what they had to do to keep things running smoothly in their marriage. Minor course corrections here and there to stay on track. They could handle that. They could both handle that.

“Teamwork baby” Ashlyn released the tight hold on her wife and let out a relaxed sigh. She grinned when she heard the response she could always count on, even when it came through a yawn and in a tired mumble from her beautiful brunette as it did that night.

“Makes the dream work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anybody hasn't heard yet, CBS All Access is airing the UWCL (UEFA Women's Champions League) playoffs! The first two quarterfinal games were today at noon, eastern time, and the other two quarterfinals are on tomorrow (Saturday) at 2pm. Then they'll have the two semi-final games as well as the final - but I haven't seen the schedule for that yet. Just fyi!


	14. One Last Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing a couple of days on this chapter. Work has been kicking my ass. So I took some time this morning and posted this anyway.  
> Smut warning in the middle!!
> 
> Also - this is where the first Christmas One Shot I did fits into the overall timeline (Part 11 Christmas One-Shot 2034) <3

The Christmas season began on Friday November 24th, the day after Thanksgiving, as it did every year for the Kriegers. There were 4 full and busy weeks before Christmas Eve and the family dove right in. Meg was excited to take Charlie to DC for the holiday this year but she wanted to bring the young man she was falling deeper in love with all the time to as many Krieger family events as possible before they flew South on Christmas Eve. It was cute. And it was fun for Ali and Ashlyn because Charlie’s fresh perspective made everything seem new again somehow. First up was the Mental Health Initiative Gala on Friday December 8th. It was still a mandatory family event that not even Drew could talk his way out of. The wrinkle in this year’s night was the inclusion of Ethan Machado.

“Nope, sorry kiddo” Ashlyn shrugged her shoulders as she watched UNC demolishing Michigan State in the Women’s College Cup on tv, one week before the Gala. 

It was Friday night and she and Ali had allowed all the kids to stay up later than usual to watch the big game. They were all in the front living room - Deb, Ali, Ashlyn, Meg, Charlie, Drew, Josie, Dodge, Lily, and Ethan – cheering for their Mama’s beloved Tarheels. Ali had made the announcement that they would be renting tuxedos for the boys in the family during the weekend so that everybody could mentally prepare for the task that always felt like an incredible chore before they were done. Ethan had been living at the big old house since Thanksgiving night, a week earlier. But he was not just a house guest. The deal that everybody had agreed to was that Ethan had to abide by all of the Krieger family rules if he wanted to live there. No exceptions. If he broke a rule, he went back to his dad’s house. If his grades started to slip, he went back to his dad’s house. If Drew’s grades started to slip, Ethan went back to his dad’s house. And there would be no second attempt to come back and live in the big old house.

They would reassess the situation and evaluate how effective their plan was in one month’s time. Ethan was required to eat dinner with Sam and Lisa 3 times a week, and spend a few hours with them, at least, every weekend. There were no limits on how much time Ethan could spend with Sam and Lisa – the only requirement was that both Machado parties had to agree. Everybody was hopeful that this would become a more constant scenario, in time. Drew and Ethan were not allowed to hang out at Sam’s house anymore either. There was no way the boys were going to have their cake and eat it too. All four parents were also worried about Jason Machado showing up there as he had a bad habit of doing. Nobody was sure what he had up his sleeve just yet, but they all agreed that they wanted him as far away from the boys as possible. 

Sam, with Whitney Flanagan’s referral, had engaged a new lawyer to help him safeguard his house, his parents’ house which was still up for sale, his pizzeria, his wife and son, and all of his other assets. He was in the middle of setting up a living will and a trust and several other things that would effectively keep his dirtbag brother from interfering in any of it. Of course, Jason wasn’t making it easy. Sam knew his brother though. If they gave Jason enough time, he would fuck up again and get sent back to jail. It was just a matter of time. And in that time, Sam agreed that getting Ethan out of the direct line of fire would be a good idea. Sam had also started the slow and painful process of explaining to his son, in detail, just what a menace Uncle Jason really was. He hoped that, by the end of the story, Ethan would understand why Sam had chosen to cut Jason out of their lives altogether. Sam’s relationship with Ethan would also take time to heal.

That night in the front living room Ethan had taken a shot at trying to talk his way out of the Gala by saying he didn’t have a tuxedo. Ashlyn wasn’t having any of it. She was friendly but firm about her answer, leaving no room for rebuttal.

“Everybody goes. Lots of things can be negotiable, but not our Christmas schedule so don’t even bother” she spoke evenly, thinking about letting the older boys skip the annual family visit to see the Zoo lights as her part of the bargain, with her eyes still glued to the tv.

“I told you” Drew chuckled as Ethan groaned.

Deb and Ali shared a small smile. The mother and daughter had talked at length about the Ethan situation and Deb thought Ali and Ashlyn were doing the right thing. When it was all over, Deb had suggested, they would regret not taking Ethan in much more than they would ever regret welcoming him into their family. Ali knew her mother was right.

Dealing with Ethan on an everyday basis wasn’t so bad. They had to buy more food and do more laundry and settle more disputes among the kids, but Ethan was a good kid. He had been so close to the family for so long that it felt natural to have him there full time. What was more difficult, by far, was meeting with Sam and Lisa at different points along the timeline. Ali and Ashlyn felt bad for both of them because they had been good parents to Ethan. Sam had made a decision that Ashlyn was pretty sure she would have made as well. And now he was living with the consequences of it. Both Sam and Lisa looked broken, and embarrassed, and uncomfortable as hell the first time Ali and Ashlyn had met them to discuss the potential scenarios. 

“Listen, we know you guys are great parents” Ali tried to assuage them as they sat together at a diner the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. Ethan had been staying at the big old house for two days by that point. “This could have been any of us, really.”

“Not really” Sam replied, tight-lipped and red in the face. “Neither of you has a degenerate brother who does nothing but make your family’s life a living hell.”

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a subtle glance, knowing they could both easily have been in Sam’s exact same position if Kyle and Chris hadn’t been strong enough to beat their addictions. 

“The most important thing is that he’s safe. We’ll take good care of him while you guys work it all out” Ashlyn tried to reassure them. “And we’re not gonna go easy on him or baby him either.”

“No, no, you have to promise us you’ll make him pull his weight” Lisa implored.

“We will. He might just change his mind altogether after a few days” Ali winked and made them all smile, even if just for the briefest of moments.

“I’m sure you guys know this” Ashlyn cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat just a bit. “I know Ethan knows so I’m sure he’s told you. But, Drew sees a child psychologist sometimes...”

“Yes, from his stomach thing...” Sam squinted as he tried to recall the few details he was aware of. “And that was from his nerves or...” he looked helplessly from Ashlyn over to Ali and then Lisa.

“Basically” Ali agreed. “The pitching mound thing.”

“Oh, right” Sam nodded. “He got anxiety about it and it gave him the stomach trouble.”

“He’s been fine for a long time now, but back when all this was going on, he saw Dr. Murphy and she really helped him sort it all out” Ashlyn slid a small piece of paper across the booth table with the psychologist’s contact information on it. “He still sees her every once in a while, to kind of check in” she paused. “We’re not trying to tell you what to do with your kid, but if this gets heavy for him, or for your guys, I’d give her a call.”

“She’s great” Ali added her endorsement to the conversation. “And with who knows what might still be coming down the road from all of this” she shrugged, thinking of the frightening unknown with Uncle Jason’s bad behavior, “it might be good to have her there in Ethan’s corner if he needs her.”

But, at the core of the whole Machado problem, as always, was dirtbag Jason Machado. He was also working with a lawyer who was an opportunistic scumbag much like himself. They were trying to make a claim on Nona’s house as well as the restaurant. Nobody was surprised that Jason had no interest in the house itself, or the business for that matter – all he cared about was the money. Sam’s lawyer, in addition to the protection aspects of the situation, was petitioning to have Jason’s parole revoked. That would also take time, even with the documentation proving that Sam’s parents had left no doubt about where they wanted what was left of their family assets to go after their death. 

Nobody wanted to be separated from their son at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but the Kriegers were confident that Ethan and Sam could find their way back to each other once the angsty teenager had some space between himself and his father. It wasn’t an ideal situation and it certainly wasn’t anything Ali or Ashlyn ever expected to be doing – temporarily ‘adopting’ one of their kids’ best friends. But life had thrown them a curveball and they were just going to do their best to get their bat on it.

//

The week after the MHI Gala was the Knight-Harris Christmas party on Friday, December 15th, and the week after that was the family excursion to The Nutcracker in Boston on Saturday, December 23rd. Scheduling the Nutcracker had been easier than usual this year because they needed to do it before Meg and Charlie left for DC on the 24th, but after Deb came back from spending a couple of weeks with Kyle’s family in NYC on Friday the 22nd. The 23rd pretty much chose itself. Ashlyn and Ali didn’t force anybody to go to the ballet with them and weren’t surprised when only Josie and Lily had asked to go. Dodge seemed to be truly on the fence about it and both moms knew he had succumbed to the pressure from Drew and Ethan to abstain from the annual event. When it came to light that both Meg and Charlie were going to the Nutcracker this year, Dodge was crushed. Even Drew was disappointed. On top of Meg & Charlie joining in, this year was special because they were going to the Saturday evening performance and starting the outing with an early dinner in Boston before the show. Instead of the usual kid-friendly afternoon matinee, it was going to be a grown-up event this time and all kids found that much more attractive.

“Aw mom” Dodge whined that Saturday morning when the details were all confirmed. “I didn’t know Meg and Chuck were going” he kicked at the floor with his bare foot as he stood in the kitchen watching Ali check on the gingerbread sheets she had baked the night before. Ashlyn had started using the nickname for Charlie a year or so earlier but all of the kids used it because of an old joke involving upchuck as a synonym for vomit. “Now I wanna go too.”

“Well, if the only reason you want to go to the Nutcracker is to see Meg and Charlie then there are much less expensive ways to do that” the brunette chuckled and gave her son a wink. She felt sorry that he was disappointed, but he had made his own decision. He would have to learn to live with it.

“Yeah, but...I guess” he shrugged and sighed heavily.

Ali could tell that he was upset but knew he wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. That was Dodge’s style. He was pretty good about rolling with the punches.

“You gonna be ready to help with the gingerbread house pretty soon?” the brunette changed the subject. “Because I think these look like the best ones yet” she gave the 6 sheet pans of gingerbread on the counter an approving nod. “This is our year Dodger, I can feel it.”

The entire family had been on the roller coaster ride with Ashlyn for the past two years as she tried and tried and tried to build a gingerbread house from scratch. It was becoming the keeper’s great white whale – a quarry that was impossible to catch, but the quest itself had become just as impossible to abandon. The kids tried to be supportive, but Ashlyn didn’t like to lose and she had been getting her ass kicked by the gingerbread. It had become a tense situation that overtook the dining room of the big old house for a week or two every Christmas. Meg had been Ashlyn’s staunchest, and bravest, ally in the gingerbread battle both previous years and nobody expected any different this year. 

“Yeah” the boy who had somehow become a tween agreed as his face broke into a small grin. “It’s always funny watching Mama lose her mind.”

“Ha!” the brunette laughed her short, loud, shout of a laugh and shook her head at her son. “You’re not wrong” she giggled conspiratorially. “But that doesn’t sound very helpful.”

“Why doesn’t she just buy one?” Dodge asked the question that at least three family members had asked separately every single year. “It’d be so much easier.”

“Because she wants to build her own, that’s why” Ali replied with a warm smile as she moved through the family room and into the dining room. “Come help me clear off the table. We can help that way” she proposed. “Haven’t you ever wanted to make something on your own instead of buying it?”

“Ummm...nope” Dodge replied as he followed his Mom.

Ali thought for a moment about how to try and help her son understand.

“Well, it’s like any challenge or goal you set for yourself. You do it because you want to see if you can do it” she explained as she surveyed the random items on Ashlyn’s beloved dining room table – the one built out of reclaimed wood from wrecked ships. “I’ll handle the puzzle, you put all the markers and stickers away, ok?”

“Wee never finishes a puzzle” the boy shook his head and rolled his eyes, using the nickname only he ever called his twin. It had come about naturally when they were very little and first learning to talk. Dodge couldn’t pronounce his Ls very well. “Never.” 

“Your sister is excellent at starting things but not always so good at finishing them” Ali agreed as she thought about the best way to transfer the half-completed puzzle to another safe surface. She still wanted to make her point. “But you challenge yourself like Mama all the time honey, do you realize that?”

“How?” his face morphed into three different versions of shock, doubt, and confusion in quick succession as he tossed markers into a small plastic tote on the table. “I’ve never tried to make something we could just go out and buy.”

“No, but every time you try to see how high you can climb up the Donaldsons’ tree, or how fast you can run from one side of the yard to the other, or if you can make the jump across the tidal pool by the footbridge to the beach without getting your feet wet, those are all the same thing” she explained while still trying to figure out how to move the puzzle. 

“How is that the same though?” Dodge tilted his head as he tried to understand.

“Because you do it just to see if you can. You challenge yourself. You set yourself a goal – can I make this jump? – and then you try and do it” she answered. “And I’ve seen you try that jump by the footbridge a dozen times before you actually clear the pool. Hey, hand me that posterboard, please.”

“This is from Jojo’s school project” he cocked his head again, doubting the wisdom of the move. “She wants to keep it...”

“I know, I’m not getting rid of it, I’m just gonna use it so I can slide the puzzle onto it...”

“But it has all this stuff glued onto it, the puzzle won’t slide...” Dodge tried hard to understand his mom’s plan, his quick mind noticing the roadblocks right away.

“No, not the front” Ali chuckled, still amazed at how literally the kids took some things, no matter how old they got, “I’m gonna use the back, see?”

Dodge watched his mom turn the poster over so the blank back of it was up, and then helped the brunette slide the puzzle onto it, his face lighting up at their success.

“Man, I thought you were gonna have to take it all apart” he laughed. “Wee would have been so mad...”

“Well, she should have moved it yesterday when Mama asked her to then, shouldn’t she?” Ali playfully quirked her eyebrow at the boy, and confirmed her own rhetorical question. “MmmmHmmm.”

“So, you just did it too, didn’t you?” Dodge asked as his mind still worked on the gingerbread challenge lesson.

“Did what?” it was the mom’s turn to frown in confusion.

“Challenged yourself to move the puzzle” he replied cautiously, not at all sure if he was getting what his mom was trying to explain.

“Yeah, pretty much” Ali smiled brightly at her smart son. “Anything can be a challenge for you if you think about it that way. You can make a goal for anything. That’s right.”

“And Mama’s just really really bad at hitting her goal, huh?” he laughed out loud, pleased with himself for helping, and for understanding the lesson, and for making a joke.

“This is her third time trying, hotshot. How many times did you try to jump that tidal pool again?” she teased back, showing no mercy as she stood beside him and helped finish putting the stickers away.

“Not that many” he blushed and laughed and hip-checked his mom. “A dozen you said...that’s not that many.”

“It’s 12” Ali chuckled and hip-checked him back. “So yeah, a lot more than 3.” 

“A dozen is 12?!” his eyes went wide. “Geez, I hope she gets this gingerbread house right before 12 years!” they both laughed and Ali made an eek face as she replied.

“I hope so too. We’ll never survive if she doesn’t!”

//

The week between Christmas and New Year’s was much more sedate – at least for the children. There was no school and the kids all lazed about the big old house, enjoying their Christmas presents and doing their own things. Meg and Charlie were in DC for the week visiting Hannah and other friends. Ethan Machado remained at his father’s house for the entire week, which was a good sign that everybody involved felt optimistic about. But one week at home didn’t mean he was ready to move back permanently yet. 

Ali was working hard on last minute marketing and PR for the new K-H office grand opening in LA that was scheduled for the middle of January. Ashlyn spent additional time on MHI messages throughout the typically challenging holiday week. She would never understand it fully, but all of the data the Mental Health Initiative had collected over the years showed that personal messages from Ashlyn, as well as other famous strugglers and supporters, were the most impactful communications around the holiday season. Talking about her own struggles in an open and honest way was something Ashlyn had always done. Now they were captured and put out by the MHI in more formal videos with better lighting and sound – but it was still raw, authentic Ashlyn.

By Friday evening both Ali and Ashlyn were ready to relax and spend some quality time together. Truthfully, their Friday night plans had been the only thing that got them through the challenges of their work week. Drew was sleeping at Ethan’s house for a change. Josie was spending the night and most of the next day at Sydney’s house – the redhead’s diehard friendship with James Dwyer was still something both families found adorable as hell. And Dodge and Lily were having a fun time at Grandma’s condo for the night. 

“Fuck me...” Ashlyn gasped after separating from her wife’s passionate liplock to catch her breath. “Friday night lights... is right!” she panted, leaning up against the pillows and the headboard, and grinned deliriously up at her wife. “All I can see are stars right now, baby. Goddamn I love your mouth...”

Ali was sitting on her lap, straddling her hips, both women already naked after moving their heavy make out session up to their bedroom that evening to get their sexy times officially started. They had toyed with the idea of fucking on the family room couch where their roaming hands and eager lips had started things off, but it was too risky. Any of the kids could have returned home for any number of reasons that night. It was only 8pm and if somebody decided they didn’t really want to sleep away from home that night, there was still time for a kid return at that hour. No, Ali and Ashlyn had moved upstairs with some wine and whiskey and a favorite sexy times playlist thumping in the background. The pretty flowers Ashlyn had brought home for her wife that afternoon were on the dressing table. And the sweet card Ali had given her keeper that morning, the one with the sultry promises of things to come later that night written inside, was standing next to the flower vase – both looking like spectators to the main event.

The couple decided they wanted and needed some private time after the busy and stressful holiday season. They still had New Year’s to look forward to, which was always the easiest of all the end of year celebrations. Instead of doing a big date night in the city, Ali and Ashlyn agreed to stay local and avoid a lot of driving time. They wanted to maximize their time together that night, especially after a long day of anticipation. They went out to dinner in Rockport, enjoying a brisk walk in the cold evening air afterwards, and then came back to the big old house to connect properly. If everything went according to plan, they would be able to enjoy some long-awaited sexy times with no interruptions or intrusions by anybody but the dogs. Make-out session done. Upstairs and naked by 8pm done. Multiple rounds of sex – coming right up. Nice, relaxing bath together afterwards. Asleep by 11pm. So far, so good for the middle-aged moms.

“I can’t get close enough to you tonight” Ali mumbled into the blonde’s neck as she lowered her head and worked her lips down Ashlyn’s throat. “I wanna touch you everywhere, all at once...” she let her hand fondle her keeper’s breast as her lips kept moving. “Don’t wanna let you go, not even for a second...”

So it was going to be an octopus mode kind of night, at least to start with. But honestly, Ashlyn knew that if Ali started off that clingy there was no way it was going to end any differently. It was an awesome feeling though, knowing that her beautiful brunette still loved her that much, needed her so much, wanted her so much. Ashlyn would never ever complain about octopus mode – as long as Ali let her out of the bed long enough to pee when necessary.

“Then don’t” she smirked at the brunette and pulled her in to her chest even tighter, making Ali groan with desire in response.

“Mmmmm...yes baby...I just want to be with you, right inside of you if I could...” Ali’s voice was husky and low as she shifted to the side a bit and started to grind down against her keeper’s thigh. “Jesus...you get me so fucking hot...”

Ashlyn was about to reply with some of her own dirty thoughts on the subject but found herself unable to do anything but suck on the gorgeous dark nipple that appeared in her face when Ali straightened her back. She alternated a few firm licks with strong suction and felt the dark bud stiffen inside her mouth. Her hands travelled slowly up and down the brunette’s back and down to her firm, round ass. Ashlyn squeezed and rubbed and moaned at all the soft, warm flesh that was everywhere around her.

“Mmmmm...mmmmm...Goddamn...” 

“Oh Ashlyn...” Ali’s breathy voice turned low again as she threw her head back and held her wife tightly against her chest, both hands behind the blonde head.

“Gotta let me move a little” the keeper chuckled as she pushed against her wife’s tight hold a minute later. “Gotta get to my other favorite over here.”

“Ok” Ali giggled as Ashlyn moved her mouth to the other nipple she loved so much. The brunette put the pressure right back on though, raking her fingers up through the short hair at the back of her keeper’s neck before pulling her whole head against her breast again. “But just a little.” 

As had always been their way, Ashlyn and Ali didn’t have specific roles when it came to sex – they were both bossy and compliant depending on their moods and desires at any given moment of intimacy. In general, it was usually Ashlyn who gave in to her desire first and took her turn first – delivering a delicious orgasm to her beautiful brunette early on in the proceedings. Ali had to make a concerted effort to take and keep her turn first if she was in the mood to do so. If she told Ashlyn she was going first then the blonde would almost always allow her to take control. Ashlyn was still the most considerate person Ali had ever met and that courtesy and respect transferred directly to the bedroom. Sometimes the keeper couldn’t help herself though and they struggled back and forth, working each other up and making each other absolutely crazy with want before one of them ‘won’ and got to make the woman of her dreams come. 

Tonight, Ashlyn knew her beautiful brunette was going to take her turn first and she herself would roll with whatever that meant and enjoy every fucking second of it. Sometimes Ali was bossy as fuck and clearly dominated the proceedings. Other times, like tonight, she wasn’t in charge as much as she was just needier. Ali urgently needed to give her wife an orgasm tonight and Ashlyn was pretty sure there would be no pausing for toys or ribbons or anything else. She was more than willing to be putty in her wife’s strong, capable hands. Not much was hotter than when Ali got so demonstrably possessive of her body like that.

“Feels so good...oh!” the brunette squeaked when she felt Ashlyn nibble gently on her stiff nipple. “Fuck, babe...” her voice dropped instantly as her lust soared. Ali reached one hand down her wife’s strong back and raked her blunt nails all the way back up, digging in harder than usual.

“Ow! Fuck...” Ashlyn growled and dug her own fingertips into Ali’s ass and back.

They moved their lips together and made out hungrily for several more minutes, their hands getting more aggressive and finding more soft, sensitive skin all along. Ali kept grinding on her wife’s leg and Ashlyn got wet at the feel of those coarse dark hairs she loved so much, moving against her skin. Fuck that was hot. Their touches got more and more urgent and their kisses got hungrier and hungrier until they both felt like they were going to explode with want.

“I can’t wait much longer...” Ashlyn mumbled against her wife’s red, swollen lips, “...where do you want me?”

“Everywhere...” Ali replied breathlessly. She was lightheaded from desire and not prepared to answer the question. “Want you...everywhere...” she crashed their lips together again and moaned loudly into the passionate kiss when she felt Ashlyn roll them over and climb on top of her. “Yesssss...” the brunette hissed. It felt incredible being underneath her keeper like that. Fuck that felt good. 

“So fucking gorgeous” Ashlyn mumbled between more kisses as she moved her hand to play with Ali’s nipple again. “God, I love fucking you...”

As Ali lay there enjoying her wife all over and around her, the idea of how she wanted to make Ashlyn come finally presented itself clearly in her mind.

“I wanna hold you and touch you” she panted out as the keeper worked hot kisses down her neck. “I wanna put my arms around you and make you come so hard...”

It took Ashlyn a few seconds to register the words and then a few more to work out the meaning of them. It was something they did a lot, but the keeper was usually the one holding Ali from behind, her front to Ali’s back, like spoons except sitting up lazily against the headboard – Ashlyn’s long arms reaching around her to all the soft places the brunette loved to have touched. It was also something that normally happened later on during sexcapades when they were both too tired to move very much anymore. But it fit in perfectly with Ali’s clingy mood tonight.

“Sounds so good baby...” the keeper’s hot words were in Ali’s ear, hot breath and the tip of her tongue too. “I can’t wait to come for you...”

The brunette locked eyes with her wife when Ashlyn pulled back and got on all fours above her to look at her. Both sets of eyes were dark and getting darker as the two wives breathed together for a long, blistering moment. Ali used the back of her hand to rub slowly across her keeper’s mound, loving the way her short hairs felt silky and rough at the same time. She spread her fingers out wide and felt Ashlyn’s inner thigh quiver when her thumb grazed it. Ali bit her bottom lip as she stared sensually into hazel eyes that always looked greener when Ashlyn was turned on like this. As much as they didn’t usually like to tease each other, and as much as Ali wanted to give her wife an orgasm right that fucking minute, the brunette found herself lingering there in that moment. She reveled in the titillating anticipation for just a few more seconds because she knew once she got her hands moving purposefully in and out and around Ashlyn’s gorgeous body that she would be unable to hold back and tease her. It would be full speed ahead, no stops on this express train because she still felt like a giddy fool around her sexy keeper, her magnificent fucking wife. 

Ashlyn blinked down slowly at her, then closed her eyes for a second as the flush in her chest rose up to her neck and her whole body shivered above the brunette’s once. Ashlyn’s eyes opened quickly and the lust Ali saw there made her suck in a breath. She would never ever get tired of that look, those eyes, that love. The tiny drop of passion that fell from Ashlyn’s drenched entrance onto Ali’s warm skin felt like a crack of lightning between them.

“Jesus...”  
“Fuck...”

They both groaned out desperate expletives at the same time as they quickly got into position. Ali sat up, half slouched against pillows and the headboard. She took a second to straighten out the soft, purple sexy times blanket they had taken the time to spread out on the fitted sheet while they stripped their clothes a half hour earlier. Ashlyn helped too, tugging it down when the brunette lifted her hips off of it, both of them working fast and in synch so they could get to where they both really really wanted to be.

“Come here Allstar...” Ali smirked, her arms open wide, fingers wiggling invitingly, and her legs spread eagled.

But it was Ashlyn’s turn to pause, just as Ali had done a few minutes earlier. The keeper swallowed hard as she took in the magnificent sight before her. There were times like this one, after being together for nearly 19 years, when she couldn’t believe that she was allowed to be with Ali this way, to see her like this, to love her like this. That overwhelming feeling took her breath away for a second and she felt her bottom lip tremble with emotion as she fought hard to stay in control.

“So gorgeous...” she whispered, sitting back on her heels to admire what was still the most beautiful sight in the entire world.

Ali got emotional too. She knew that feeling well herself. It had been a challenge to stay confident the past few years as her body began changing and getting ready to enter the next phase of life. Ali knew if she looked down at her own bush that she would see lots of gray hair mixed in with the dark brown now. She knew that her ass wasn’t as high and tight as it used to be, and that her thighs weren’t as strong as they once were either. Her skin had wrinkles and her laugh lines were easy to see on her face. She knew she looked good for 50 and she took solace in that and worked hard in the basement gym as often as she could to try and keep it that way. But there was no denying it or slowing it down – she was 50 and her body no longer looked like it had when she was 30. But Ashlyn had always been incredibly supportive and sweet about it. 

At first Ali had thought she was just being kind and maybe just saying the right things. She knew Ashlyn would never admit to it under any circumstances. But slowly, the brunette started to realize that she was the one who had the problem, not Ashlyn. No, the look of desire and love in Ashlyn’s eyes had never changed, had never wavered, had never dimmed. And that was a big part of what gave Ali the confidence to accept her 50-year old body once and for all. These were the gifts that Ashlyn had given Ali over the years, the priceless gifts that meant more to the brunette than any of the beautiful, thoughtful presents her keeper had ever bought for her. Ali prayed that she made her wife feel the same way. It was something she made a conscious effort to do every day if possible. She knew how amazing it made her feel and she wanted to give that back to Ashlyn too.

“I love you too honey” Ali whispered back, struggling with desire and powerful emotions and unwieldy hormones all at the same time. “Come let me show you...”

Ashlyn smiled and nodded, her face slowly changing from the passionately contorted grimace she had worn while she had been trying to control her emotions into that cherubic beaming grin that Ali loved so much – complete with dimple in her left cheek.

“Be right there sugarplum...” she winked as she leaned forward and rested her elbows between Ali’s wide open knees, “...just need a little taste first...”

“Oh no...” Ali laughed, shook her head, and wagged her finger in her wife’s face as it moved close to her pussy. “I’m not falling for that. It’s my turn, now get up here.”

“Just...one...taste...” Ashlyn smirked and grinned again as she spoke the words separately – one at a time after using one hand to open up her wife’s wet and swollen folds, and then the other.

“Ash...” Ali flinched at the initial contact but hummed contentedly at how gentle her keeper was being with her sensitive flesh. As always. “Mmmmm...babe, that feels so nice” she moaned softly when Ashlyn’s tongue took one, long, slow lick from bottom to top. “But it’s my turn...” she put both hands on her wife’s cheeks as they smiled at each other again. “Please come up here and let me hold you while I fuck your brains out.”

“Ha!” Ashlyn laughed out loud, pressed a soft kiss to the top of her wife’s clit, and then mumbled her reply as she kissed her way up Ali’s left side, making sure to hit the ocean wave, the German words, and the tree she loved so much along the way. “Well when you put it that way, how can I resist?”

“Yessss” Ali giggled and grinned as her body responded to the soft kisses and the increasing desire to hold her wife in her arms again. “Let’s go. Get a move on.”

Before Ashlyn got into place, she stopped to give her wife a powerful kiss, bringing their lips together and using one hand to hold Ali’s head in place. It lasted longer than she planned because Ali continued it with her own hand on the back of the keeper’s head and a hungry moan in her throat. The brunette used her other hand to coax her wife where she wanted her. She ran her fingers down Ashlyn’s powerful bicep, the one holding the keeper up and flexing a bit as her weight shifted. She cupped the blonde’s breast, massaging it gently and humming into the kiss when she felt the nipple hardening in her palm. She slid that same hand down Ashlyn’s stomach, briefly tracing around the weblike stretchmarks she loved so much. When Ali finally let her fingers drag through the neatly trimmed hair on top of her keeper’s mound, they both pulled back from the kiss, breathless and gasping. The fire, momentarily displaced by romance and emotional, fairy tale love, was back and burning brighter than before. Ali slipped her fingers around her wife’s clit, gliding them along the length of her opening, letting them slip and slide through the sea of wetness there.

“You’ve got me dripping for you again baby” Ashlyn’s voice was ragged, full of barely contained lust for her beautiful brunette. “Fuck me Al...I need you...”

“Just waiting for you, sugar...” Ali chuckled, low in her throat, immensely turned on by how wet her wife truly was.

Ashlyn moved a couple of pillows around and turned so she was sitting between Ali’s legs, her back to Ali’s front. Her body was at a slight angle and they were both slouched down. Ashlyn’s head was on the top of Ali’s shoulder and she used her hand to turn the brunette’s head towards her so she could kiss her again. Ali had both arms around her wife from behind, under Ashlyn’s long arms. The blonde was open and vulnerable, knees up and out, hips already rocking just a bit in anticipation. So much soft, warm skin everywhere. Ali loved the way so much of their bodies were touching each other. She took a minute while Ashlyn got settled and comfortable, and let her hands move all over her keeper’s ink and skin, slowly following dark curves and swirls and gently tracing underwater themes on both of her strong, sexy thighs. The latest addition to Ashlyn’s canvas of tattoos had been the old diving helmet scene. The biggest part of it was at the top, right up close to her crotch where the enormous diving helmet started. There was a swath of an underwater ocean scene across it that contained a blue whale and another great white shark, with the outline of an underwater city in the distant background behind it. The ink covered her entire right thigh, inside and topside, blending seamlessly with the siren that had been there on the outside of her thigh for so long. 

Ali, of course, loved the tattoo. The sea was such an important part of Ashlyn’s soul that it felt only natural for so much of her body to be covered by tributes to it as well. From this position, Ali could reach both hands down to both thighs and worship both odes to the sea and that felt so right somehow. Every time the brunette moved her fingers across Ashlyn’s inner thighs, the keeper lifted her hips up without even meaning to. She was craving more of her wife’s touch, in places that were wet for other reasons. Ashlyn began to squirm as the sensual stroking continued. She let her own hands wander down Ali’s legs, rubbing and squeezing them as she felt her core burning for more contact.

“Well, I’m here...” Ashlyn teased. She tried to keep it light but she knew her wife could hear the want in her voice, the need to have her inside. “What are you waiting for, you big tease?”

“I gave you your time” Ali nodded down to her wife’s crotch with another low chuckle. “Now you can let me love on these beautiful oceans for a minute.”

Just as Ashlyn started to grumble her displeasure at the brunette’s reply, Ali rocked her hips up hard behind the blonde. It turned the grumble into a whine and made Ashlyn suck in an impatient breath.

“Baby, please...”

But there was no need to coax the brunette. She had been dying to touch her wife like this for almost 45 minutes now. 

“I hear you honey...” Ali turned her head and looked at her wife’s pleading face on her shoulder. “I’ve got you” she kissed her lips slowly as she brought one hand up to play with pretty pink nipples and opened soaked folds with the other. “Mmmmm...” she hummed into the kiss and swallowed Ashlyn’s loud moan as she pushed a finger into her throbbing pussy. “So wet...Jesus, so fucking wet...” she mumbled at the end of the kiss which had ended early so the keeper could breathe through her mounting excitement. 

“Yes baby...fuck me, please...” Ashlyn closed her eyes and pressed her head back against her wife, loving the way Ali’s finger felt inside her. “More, another one...”

“As many as you want, sexy...” Ali purred as she honored the request, sliding a second finger inside her keeper’s flooded pussy. “Fuck you feel so good. Like fucking velvet...Jesus...”

“Mmmmm...yeah, fuck...yeah...” Ashlyn grunted her approval and moved one of her own hands up to play with the nipple Ali wasn’t working on. “Oh shit that’s good...”

Ali slid her fingers in and out for a couple of minutes, alternating her speed and power to keep Ashlyn on her toes. She could feel the keeper’s walls tightening around her fingers and knew that it wouldn’t take very long to reach the climax. It made her sad for a split second because she wanted it to last longer. Good thing they had lots of time tonight for rounds 2 and probably 3 to follow.

“Unnnhhh...oh yeah...” Ashlyn groaned as her body bounced along with her wife’s rhythm. She moved her other hand to her own clit and started to circle it as Ali kept up all her ministrations. “I’m close baby...”

“I wanna do that” Ali released her keeper’s breast and moved her hand down to her sensitive nub. She squeezed Ashlyn’s hand and then moved it out of her way as she took over making slow circles around the blonde’s swollen clit. “I wanna make you come...”

“Yessssss...” Ashlyn let out a long low moan that the brunette felt deep inside her own core. “Make me come baby...” she panted. “Unnnhhh...fuck...make me come...”

Ashlyn had both hands tugging on her own nipples, working up her own breasts, while Ali had both her hands between her wife’s legs. The brunette stopped the slow circles and began to rub her keeper’s clit hard and fast, just the way she knew Ashlyn liked it. She changed her thrusting fingers to a squeezing motion, keeping her fingers in place but pressing them up into her wife’s g-spot and making her gasp with pleasure.

“Oh my God!”

“I’ve got you baby...” Ali turned her head to watch the most beautiful face in the world for a minute, all the while upping her pressure and pace. She could watch that face forever, especially in its present glorious condition, but she also wanted to watch the rest of Ashlyn’s gorgeous body as it exploded in pleasure. It was really a tough choice for the brunette. “Fuck, you’re incredible...so fucking beautiful...so fucking sexy...Jesus fucking Christ...” she panted out as she rubbed faster with one hand and squeezed harder with the other.

“Oh my God...Oh God...” Ashlyn gasped, the flush reaching her cheeks and her whole body tensing and ready to spring. It only took another few seconds. “Aliiiiiii!!!!” she shouted as the orgasm hit her hard.

“Yes baby...yes...yes...” Ali panted along with her, spent from her efforts but not wanting to stop yet either. “Come for me beautiful...fuck, yes...”

Ashlyn’s body started to shake and she put her hand on top of Ali’s to still her fingers at her clit while she rode out the high. The brunette pulled her fingers out of the constricted core that had clamped down on them and held her palm gently over Ashlyn’s pussy as their bodies jerked together. She could feel her keeper’s heart pounding through and into her own chest, feel her lungs expanding and contracting rapidly as if they were her own, feel the muscles all go slack as Ashlyn’s body came back down. A powerful aftershock rattled through and Ashlyn’s body jerked a few more times and she laughed as she tried to catch her breath.

“Holy shit, does that count as two?” 

“Maybe” Ali giggled as she hugged and held her wife in her arms, careful to avoid sensitive, still-recovering areas.

They lay like that for several minutes, just breathing together, enjoying the playlist, and loving the soft touches and tender kisses they shared.

“Am I too heavy on you yet?” Ashlyn asked with her typical consideration. “I can...”

“No, no...” Ali tightened her grip. “You’re perfect. This is perfect...I love this...” her voice was shy and soft. “I just wanna hold you for a little while, is that ok?”

“Of course it’s ok honey” Ashlyn turned her head for a sweet kiss. “If you can wait to get off, I can wait” she quirked a sharp eyebrow at her clingy wife, “but not too long. I got a taste for something I need a lot more of” she glanced down towards her own mound because it was impossible to see Ali’s at the moment.

“Not too long then” the brunette acquiesced with a sweet smile and another soft squeeze around her wife’s middle. “We have toys to do too, don’t forget.”

“Oh I haven’t forgotten” Ashlyn chuckled. “Have we met?”

“Ok, just checking” Ali giggled. She knew exchanging their annual naughty Christmas gifts was a highlight for both of them. But she couldn’t resist teasing her sweet keeper some too. “If you behave yourself, I just might let you get out of bed to get them too.”

//

“I think we had a pretty good Christmas, what do you think?” Ashlyn asked her wife later as they soaked together in their big tub. 

After three orgasms each, the two kid-free moms were relaxing but unwilling to be very far apart. The big soaking tub was designed for two people, one at each end. But tonight, Ali pulled her keeper over to her end of the tub, and Ashlyn leaned her strong back against the brunette’s front – finishing their romantic evening in the exact same position it had begun. Octopus mode was clearly still in full effect. Ali had lit candles while Ashlyn prepared the soothing and fragrant bath. Now, the brunette ran her hands slowly up and down her wife’s arms and stomach, occasionally making the keeper flinch with an unintentional tickle. Ashlyn could feel Ali’s heart beating into her back from behind. It was slow and steady, creating a gentle rhythm and calming them both. The keeper’s head leaned back onto her wife’s shoulder and her long arms reached along the brunette’s legs on either side, tenderly massaging them as they talked about their holiday week. Their words and their movements were languid and relaxed.

“I think it was a great Christmas” Ali answered, turning her head and pressing a slow kiss into the side of the blonde’s head. “I missed Meg, but I think the other kids were pretty good.”

“Oh my God, how funny were Josie and Lily on the way into the Nutcracker though?” Ashlyn chuckled, her body shaking slightly. “I thought Charlie was gonna lose his mind.”

“He thought it was cute. I heard him tell Meg that” Ali laughed softly along with her wife at the memory.

On the hour-long drive into the Nutcracker, the girls had told Charlie the entire story of the ballet, impressing both moms with how accurate their memories were. Charlie had been nothing but good-natured about it and Meg had found the whole thing endearing.

“You did? He actually said that?” Ashlyn turned to look at her beautiful brunette’s grinning face. “When?”

“When we were waiting for our table” Ali explained. “I don’t know if Meg apologized for the girls or what, but he told her it was cute.”

“See, he is a nice guy. I told you” Ashlyn teased and gave her wife’s upper thigh a tender but playful squeeze.

“I’ve been telling you that for how long now?” Ali poked her keeper’s side and rolled her eyes with a quiet laugh.

“Ow, hey” Ashlyn giggled. “Watch those pointy fingers.”

“They weren’t too pointy a little while ago” the brunette wagged her eyebrows and smirked.

“Well they are now, cut it out” the keeper’s soft, high voice matched the girlish, pouty smile on her lips as she turned to her wife again.

Ali met her lips with a tender kiss, wrapping her arms around her keeper’s middle. The brunette hummed happily when Ashlyn pressed her mouth closer, lengthening the kiss and making them both smile dreamily as they pulled apart. The blonde rested her head back against her wife’s shoulder again and they were both quiet for a couple of minutes. It was an easy quiet though, full of shared intimacy and memories of the holiday as well as the sex they had just enjoyed.

“I’m glad Drew was nice about things with Grace” Ali finally spoke again, relief evident in her voice. “I really liked her a lot.”

“I think he really likes Suzy” Ashlyn added thoughtfully. “They’ve been friends since the beginning of last year.”

“Yeah but does he like her like her or is he just...”

“Still trying to make himself like girls instead of dealing with the fact that he’s probably gay?” Ashlyn finished her wife’s thought with a sigh.

“Yeah” Ali nodded and chewed on her bottom lip.

“He’ll figure it out honey” the keeper gave her wife’s leg a reassuring pat beneath the fragrant water. “He just needs some more time.”

Another soft silence did the work of calming their worried hearts. They both still struggled with the desire to help their oldest son on his quest towards discovering and embracing his sexuality – whatever it was. Their plan of being as supportive and accepting of gay things in their everyday lives, both vocally and through actions, hadn’t changed. The rest of the adult family had adopted it as well and they were confident that there was no way Drew could be afraid of coming out because of fear of their reactions. So that left his own inner homophobia as the primary obstacle. And there wasn’t much they could do for him about that. He would have to learn to love himself and they would just have to make sure he had the tools and the words to help him do the work himself. Each new girlfriend they hoped would be his last – not because they didn’t want him to find love and happiness, but because they knew he was hiding behind each one of them. Maybe Suzy would be the last one. They could hope.

“How sweet was Dodge though?” Ali changed the subject with a chuckle.

“Sweet?” Ashlyn gave her wife a puzzled frowning side-eye. “Our Dodger? Are we thinking of the same kid?”

“Ok, not all the time” the brunette agreed with a grin and a roll of her eyes as she thought of what a bulldozer the energetic tween could still be. “But with Lily...the way he protected her this Christmas...”

“Oh, Jesus” Ashlyn closed her eyes with a whimper. “Don’t make me cry” she sniffled. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more.”

Lily was not ready to give up her belief in Santa Claus or to let go of any of their Christmas traditions this year. Both twins had heard rumors of the truth from schoolmates and friends and older cousins and siblings. It was just what happened to kids at their age. Unlike Josie who had willfully chosen to create her own logical explanation for why the parents of some kids had to pretend to be Santa Claus every year rather than accept the fact that he wasn’t real, the twins were both full-fledged skeptics in search of the truth. At least that’s how things had started on Thanksgiving weekend as they cut down the Christmas tree and put it up and decorated the big old house. But as the month of December had worn on, Lily had reverted back to belief. She had decided to believe in Santa Claus despite the mounting evidence to the contrary. You could almost see her brain just close the door inside it that had threatened to open and reveal the truth. The little blonde would wait until next year to grapple with the concept and that was all there was to it for her.

Dodge, on the other hand, found it impossible to maintain that belief any longer. The facts were too hard for him to ignore any more. He teetered for about a week, halfway through December, on the fence between total disbelief and adopting Josie’s brand of logic. Her argument made a lot of sense to her questioning kid brother. The parents had to be Santa Claus because the kids stopped believing – as long as you still believed, Santa would still come. But once Dodge’s brain started shooting holes in the whole Santa Claus theory, he couldn’t pretend any more. Instead of ruining it for his twin sister though, he sucked it up and pretended for her, just as Drew and Josie did that year as well.

“I think the fact that it was Jojo’s first year of reality too helped him” Ali nodded with a pout. It hurt her heart to have two of her kids stop believing in Santa in the same year. “They went through it together and had each other to talk to about it. I think it was easier for both of them. I kinda think she waited for this on purpose.”

“Definitely” the keeper agreed softly. “Still fucking sucks though.”

“It sure does” Ali let a resigned sigh escape her lips as she gently scooped some of the warm water up onto Ashlyn’s chest and shoulders with her hand. “And next year...”

The brunette’s throat closed up around the words as she got emotional at the thought of Lily’s beaming face. She was a happy girl most of the time, but she loved Christmas so much. She had always been the one who got the most excited about it, and not just the toys on Christmas morning either. Lily loved all aspects of it. The ritual of the advent calendar, and the tradition of taking turns putting the star on top of the tree on Christmas Eve. The silly little things they did like finding Hermie and Ginger each morning before anything else – the Elves on the Shelf was one thing that neither mom would miss, honestly. The Christmas cookies they made with Grandma every year and the ones they made and decorated extra special just so they could leave fresh cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve. The Christmas stories they read together in December like a flashback to younger times when family story time had been a nightly ritual. 

Lily, in particular, had always taken extra joy in feeding Santa’s reindeer every Christmas Eve. Ali or Ashlyn had always “eaten” half of the handful of carrots the kids had left on the small kitchen table, along with the specially decorated Christmas cookies and glass of milk. That was until the young blonde got old enough to start questioning more things instead of just accepting them. Lily’s animal-loving heart wanted to know if carrots were the best thing to feed reindeer, so she looked it up when she was 8. For the past 3 years the moms had been making Swiss Chard, Kale, and other leafy greens look as though Santa’s reindeer had stopped to refuel for the rest of their long Christmas Eve journey. And, naturally, Lily had insisted that the greens be left outside because everybody knew reindeer couldn’t come inside the house. As frustrating as it sometimes was to run outside and rip apart a bunch of salad in the cold December night air, whichever mom did it never went very long before smiling brightly at their sweet baby girl’s thoughtfulness. Lily brought a whole lot of joy to their family’s holidays and both moms were afraid of what it was going to feel like once she accepted the truth about Christmas. 

“Next year’s gonna really suck” Ashlyn groaned with a sad frown.

Ali hugged her keeper tightly again and whispered, “It really is.”

Neither woman was sure if they felt sorry for themselves or for Lily. They just knew they both felt sad.

“Our babies are growing up” the keeper sighed and squeezed her wife’s legs against her own body with both hands, one on each side. She turned and nuzzled her forehead into Ali’s warm neck with another quiet sigh. “And I know it’s how it’s supposed to be, but this feels like a big one. A really big one.”

“I know, love” the brunette rested her cheek against her wife’s head with a soft hum. “Mmmm...I know...” 

They breathed steadily for a minute or two, heads still together, trying to process thoughts of children growing up before mothers were ready for them to. Ali turned her head just enough so she could press a tender kiss into blonde hair.

“This is what we signed up for though, isn’t it?” Ashlyn pulled back and blinked up slowly at her beautiful brunette.

“At least we had one more year” Ali’s soft smile couldn’t hide all of her sadness as she gazed down at her equally melancholy wife. “And we have Lil to thank for that.” 

They both grinned at the mention of their youngest child and the mood lightened. Ashlyn leaned up and kissed the brunette, surprising her and making them both giggle.

“That kid is full of surprises, isn’t she?” the keeper asked as Ali pecked her lips again. “You never know what she’s gonna come up with next. We think Dodge is the one who’s so wild, but there’s never a dull moment with her either.”

Ali chuckled and kissed her gorgeous keeper again, this time soundly. 

“She gets it from her Mama” the brunette mumbled as she took a quick breath. “I hope she never changes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited about the NWSL's Fall schedule of games. I don't think any fans should be attending any games of any kind yet. We'll see how it goes. The idea that I might actually get to watch Ali Krieger play soccer this year is giving me life!!
> 
> Also - big props to her for leaving her comfort zone and doing something scary and new in real life! I think she's a great in-studio soccer analyst and I love listening to her break it all down. But sideline reporting is brand new for her. I haven't seen more than one brief clip from Orlando City's home game last night, but I've read some comments that she seemed nervous and uncomfortable. We all know she's going to get better and I can't wait to watch that happen. I also hope some sweet fan somewhere is recording this stuff for the rest of us. And, not to be petty, but from what I saw of last night at least she wore a shirt that fit her! lol I swear, whew. Whoever put her in that shirt from the Miami game did not do her any favors. Not only was it a size too small, but it still had creases and wrinkles all over it. Ali is gorgeous as hell and can pull off most looks, but that shirt...that was a tough one.


	15. The Mother Ship (2035 - part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody. This is a long chapter, and as you can tell, I sped up a bit here in an effort to finish this main timeline before I die. lol.  
> At some point during each installment I'll zip forward a bit like this. It'll depend on what's happening in the story, of course, but just so you're not surprised when it happens. Sometimes it'll be a whole year - like this time (I cover all of 2035 in this chapter and the next), sometimes it might just be half a year for multiple years in an installment - we'll see how it goes.  
> Thanks for reading!! 
> 
> Oh and there is some heavy conversation about cancer in this chapter (the part where Ali, Ashlyn, Whitney, and Syd are catching up during a week at the Academy). I'm never sure about how much to warn readers about. Nobody dies in this chapter though. And please don't skip the whole chapter. It's a long one and it's full of several different important updates and plotlines.

2035 felt quieter than other years for the Kriegers, comparatively, but it really wasn’t. Maybe it seemed less hectic because most of the kids were in a groove at school that didn’t present a lot of upheaval and extra stress. But that only applied to Drew and the twins. Both Josie and Meg embarked on brand new adventures in 2035 – the younger redhead’s in the fall and the older redhead’s right at the beginning of the year. It all started in January with the NWSL draft.

Both Ali and Ashlyn were there in New York City for draft weekend. Ashlyn was there as she had been for the past several years as an owner, participating in high-level meetings with other owners and league executives to help steer the NWSL onward and upward. Ali flew down with Meg, as her agent and, as much as she tried not to be – one of her moms. Hannah met them in NYC and they all stayed in the same hotel, spending the weekend together in their own unique familial way. Reenie Vega had accompanied Hannah and when Ashlyn joined them before and after her meetings, it was quite the girl gang. But instead of a girl gang geared towards encouraging young soccer campers to love and make peace with their own bodies, this more mature girl gang was in Seattle to offer guidance to a young woman starting her first job - to celebrate Meg beginning her professional soccer career.

Ashlyn had never been so nervous about any draft in her entire life, not even her own back in the 2010 WPS draft. Her stomach was in knots as she sat at the Boston Breakers draft table with the rest of the organization’s draft team. She made frequent trips to her family’s seats in the back row of the cavernous auditorium space, exchanging anxious and excited looks with Ali and Hannah who were sitting on either side of Meg. Ashlyn stood behind the young woman and massaged her shoulders while making dumb ‘Dad’ jokes to try and ease the tension building as the draft wore on. Everyone was relieved when Charlie finally arrived, 2 hours into the event. His commuter flight had been delayed because of mechanical issues with the smaller than usual jet. The group of women had already groused about how difficult it could be to catch the next commuter flight because there were fewer seats for the short trip and they were often sold out early each day. The ladies had all flown in Thursday night but he had to wait until Friday late morning to leave work. 

“You made it!” Meg beamed up at the tall young man as they hugged tightly. She tucked her head under his chin and tried to find strength in his comforting presence. She mumbled into his neck again “you made it...”

“I can’t believe these idiots haven’t drafted you yet” he furrowed his brow and kissed her head, annoyed with all 20 teams in the league. “I thought for sure I’d missed it. Morons.”

“Ali said early fourth round, maybe late third” Hannah chimed in supportively. She was very glad Charlie had arrived, but her main goal that day was to keep Meg calm and cool and collected as she waited for her name to be called by one of the 20 NWSL teams. “We’re just starting the third round so you’re right on time” she added with a warm smile as she got up to make room for Charlie to join them.

“No, sit here” Ali stood up quickly and offered her seat to the young research scientist who had pulled strings to make time to attend the draft at all. It wasn’t easy as low man on the totem pole in the lab, but he had managed to switch shifts with two colleagues so he could be with his girl on her big night. “But don’t be scared when Ash comes up behind you like a ninja. I know she’s gonna try and scare the hell out of you” they all laughed as they took their seats again.

As usual, Ali had been right both about Ashlyn’s scare tactics – which worked despite the brunette’s warning – and Meg’s place in the draft. It took until almost the end of the 3rd round, but Meg finally heard her name called out over the sound system by the Chicago Red Stars with the 58th pick in the draft. Everybody cheered. So many of the other hopeful draftees and their families seated in the auditorium knew how much hard work and dedication it took to get a seat in that room to begin with, forget about actually getting drafted. Women’s soccer had always been an extremely supportive community and that had only continued and grown over the years. Any fears that fans had about the NWSL losing its charm and sincerity and awesomeness as it grew and prospered as a professional league had proven to be unfounded so far. The players were just as genuine and appreciative and fan-friendly as ever. And they didn’t start flopping all over the pitch once they began making real money either. NWSL players weren’t making what MLS players made, but it was still a lot better than it had ever been. Some of the top tier talent in the NWSL, the real superstars who somehow hadn’t made it to the national team, earned more money than some of the lower level reserve roster men’s players did in MLS. It was still a work in progress, but the differences in pay structure between when Ashlyn was playing and what the players were earning now were enormous. 

As excited as everybody was for Meg being drafted, and especially going in the top half of the 6-round draft, there was disappointment too. The whole family had not so secretly hoped that Meg would get drafted by the Breakers and play for the hometown team. They had all been spoiled by Tanner Wild’s storybook career with the New England Revolution – even though he hadn’t been drafted there. And if that didn’t happen then they wanted her to go to a team in the Northeast so they could go to her games. And if that couldn’t happen, then they all hoped she might go to Orlando where the Harris clan could welcome her to one of her homes away from home. Meg’s real hometown team was the Washington Spirit and she had interned there in the summer all through college. But that didn’t matter because, like most of the fans in the league, the Krieger kids believed the Spirit to be cursed. No, the disappointment they all felt that Friday evening in Seattle was for two reasons. One was that Chicago was too far away for the family to attend many if any of Meg’s home games. And two was that the Red Stars stunk. 

Chicago hadn’t even made the playoffs since 2022. 2034 had been the 11th year without a playoff appearance for the once proud club, and their prospects didn’t look much brighter. Even if Meg turned out to be the kind of quality keeper that the Kriegers knew she would be, the team would still stink. Even the way they handled this draft already was an example of it. They had traded up to take a high risk – high reward striker in the first round which left them with precious few draft picks left. Then they had drafted a goalkeeper in the third round! That was pretty unusual. Each NWSL team was allowed a roster of up to 30 players and there were 20 teams. That meant there were about 600 NWSL players on contracts each season. Of those 600 players, roughly 75 of them were goalkeepers. Most clubs carried 3 keepers and some had 4 on their roster. A couple teams, for different reasons like injuries or pregnancy, might have 5 keepers rostered. 

Goalkeepers often didn’t go until the 5th or even 6th round of the draft. Sometimes the really promising ones were picked midway through the 4th round which was honestly where Ali and Meg thought the redhead would go. Once, long ago, Chicago had been known as one of the teams who got the absolute most out of the draft. They were famous for their homegrown players and their draft player development. But that was a long time ago. Coaching and management changes had wreaked havoc on the club in the past decade as they scrambled to climb up the table as quickly as possible. The only good news for the Kriegers, at first look, was that a 5th year midfielder named Gracie Garciaparra was one of the handful of stalwart players the team was trying to build around. The same daughter that Mia Hamm had asked both Ashlyn and Ali to talk with back in 2025 at the inaugural Academy camp, had indeed recovered from her devastating knee injury and made it all the way to the NWSL. Ashlyn took it as a sign of destiny or fate. Ali was just relieved that somebody else on the team had that same fire and desire instilled in them that usually only came from a parent who had been there before. Meg had Ashlyn for inspiration and Gracie had Mia. Maybe all wasn’t lost? 

It was easy to point out other teams’ failings, especially in hindsight, but if Chicago had slowed down a bit and focused more on team chemistry rather than just picking great players with their prime draft picks each year, they would have been in a much more competitive situation. But, as she had said all along, Meg was just happy to get drafted at all. She would now focus everything she had on making the Red Stars roster when she reported to training camp next month. Nothing else mattered. 

“You did it kiddo” Ashlyn whispered emotionally into the hug she shared later that night with the first child who had ever stolen her heart. Her eyes were watery as she grinned from ear to ear and squeezed Meg tightly. “I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, but I haven’t done anything yet” the redhead replied humbly, her own emotions rising up to meet Ashlyn’s. “Still gotta make the team...”

“That’s not gonna be a problem honey” Ashlyn turned her head and kissed the young woman’s cheek. “Once they get to know you and see how hard you work and how good you are in all those ways that don’t show up on game tape or in the stats...” she pulled back to look Meg right in the eye before finishing her heartfelt prediction. “They’re gonna start you Meggie. You’re gonna be their new #1. You mark my words.”

//

The rest of the beginning of 2035 was busy but not too stressful, aside from Meg moving to Chicago and working her tail off to make the 20-player senior roster for the Red Stars as a rookie goalkeeper. Josie shone again in her annual District music competition. She earned a leading place in each ensemble again – chorus, concert band and jazz band – and this time even winning a coveted chair in the orchestra. She was on cloud 9 and kicked ass each and every time she performed. When Josie and her moms sat down to choose the private high school she would attend later in the Fall, the redhead was initially disappointed. Her lack of enthusiasm had puzzled her parents until they finally asked just the right questions to learn that Josie thought changing high schools meant she wouldn’t be able to compete in Districts anymore. Once she understood that Northeast District meant any school in the Northeast could send students to audition, public or private, she was ecstatic about starting high school in September.

Ali travelled a lot in January, from LA to make sure the new West Coast office of Knight-Harris was running smoothly, to New York City for NWSL draft weekend, to the Stacy Everett Lewis Academy in New Hampshire for the Martin Luther King Jr long weekend 4-family vacation she refused to miss again. All three travel destinations had left the brunette feeling energized and excited and empowered. K-H was working a few final kinks out of the new LA space but the concepts and strategies and goals hadn’t changed a bit. Marcy was doing a fine job managing the day to day and Hilary Knight was more than making the ‘face of the company’ gig her own. She hadn’t been ready to be involved as much in the East Coast company that bore her name, but 15 years later she was more than ready to take on her new role. 

And Ali always loved any vacation time she could get with her 4-family friends. It got harder and harder to make their schedules all work, so the precious time they did arrange to spend together was even more special. The four families continued to be central, guiding figures in all their lives. The besties only got closer and closer as they shared milestones for their kids and for themselves.

The other notable January happenings for the Kriegers were that Ali finally moved out of Ashlyn’s office at Knight-Harris in Cambridge and into Jared Kimball’s recently vacated office instead. He certainly wouldn’t be needing it after transferring and moving to K-H West. It was an easy transition because it had taken the brunette 5 years to get to this point in the first place. Nobody rushed her into it, but everyone was happy to have it settled, finally. Without realizing it, Ali’s office limbo situation had caused the December 2029 attack to maintain a hold, however tenuous, on the entire building and company. As soon as she was ensconced in her new office, all sorts of different co-workers shared their own feelings of relief and closure with her and with each other. And that was nothing compared to how energized and complete Ali herself finally felt. The move had given everybody much needed closure. She realized, in hindsight as was so often the way, that she should have made the move years ago. As it was, she enjoyed Jared’s old office very much. It was on the front of the building, like Whitney’s office right next door, and the executive conference on the other side of the lawyer’s office, and it was directly across the hall from Ali’s old office so it was also a corner office with windows on two walls. The brunette often found herself getting lost watching the world go by around her on the busy streets outside. She knew her productivity was going to take a hit compared to the far less exciting view her old office had of the parking lot behind the building, but she was ok with that. And that was a big surprise to her as well. 

And Ashlyn and Ali learned a little more information about the secretive neighborhood scandal that had been hinted at for the past several years. The annual Epiphany party, that the families had decided to take turns hosting each year, was at the Donaldson’s this year. Everyone had a lovely time, as usual, and Robin Evans continued her habit of drinking too much and letting a few more details spill before Julie Donaldson was able to rein her in, for her own sake. The revelation this year was that one of the Evans girls had been the wronged party. When Ali and Ashlyn added that tidbit to the fact they learned last year that one of the Barry boys had been the wrongdoer, the picture got a little bit clearer for anybody keeping track. Ashlyn’s romantic theory was a Romeo and Juliet story gone wrong somehow – nobody had died, obviously, but there were definitely harsh feelings left over that were taking a very long time to fade. 

February was another busy but rewarding month for the Kriegers. In addition to celebrating Ali and Ashlyn’s 19th February anniversary, and helping Meg move to Chicago, there was a wedding to rejoice in too. Tanner Wild married his girlfriend Renee Morrison in a beautiful ceremony after a very happy, 13-month engagement. Because he was also embarking on training camp for his 12th year with the NE Revs, they had to postpone their honeymoon until after the season. Tanner had just turned 34 years old in December and he knew his professional soccer days were numbered. The Revs knew it too. They had already given him a better set of choices than they offered most aging players on their rosters – and that was out of respect for Ashlyn and her place in the Kraft family organization. Ashlyn had never asked for any special treatment, and never would. Tanner hadn’t wanted or expected it either. But Jonathan Kraft had instructed the team to work something out so that Tanner could retire, in two or three years, as a career member of the Revs. It wasn’t just a courtesy to Ashlyn either. It was a reward for Tanner’s hard work and loyalty over the span of his entire career.

Tanner’s contract was re-worked and Ali had never been happier that she had relinquished her role as his primary agent a few years earlier. One of K-H’s MLS experts had taken over as Tanner’s agent and it was a good thing because Ali would never have been able to keep her mouth shut about what was going on while it was happening. As it was, she had heard enough at the office to know something was up and had struggled with what to do. Should she use her position to try and influence things with the Revs? Did she need to go to Jonathan Kraft herself and ask for a favor? Should she tell Ashlyn anything or should she allow her to be blissfully unaware and therefore unable to exert any undue influence one way or the other - remaining a neutral party? Once she learned that it was a move in Tanner’s best interest, Ali stayed out of it herself until just before the deal was finalized and ready to be presented to Tanner. She wanted to be there when Tanner heard the offer from his agent. She wanted to be there for her stepbrother if he needed her.

“Look Tan, it’s just part of the game. It happens to everybody” Ali shrugged after she and Tanner’s agent had laid out the proposed new contract terms from the Revs. They were meeting at K-H in Cambridge, back in January. 

“Yeah, but not everybody gets a deal like this, do they?” he asked with a knowing look. “I don’t want any favoritism Al. I’ve never used Ash’s name for anything...”

“And you’re not now” the brunette leaned forward in her chair and touched her stepbrother’s arm, giving it a reassuring pat. “Her name might have helped us get you here during the draft but that’s it. And that was a long time ago. You’re the one who’s been putting in all the work, all these years, to make your own name for yourself. There’s no Harris or Krieger on this contract” she waved the documents with her other hand for emphasis. “This says Tanner Wild. Tanner Wild made this possible. Tanner Wild earned this contract and the respect and gratitude that come with it. Don’t you doubt that for a minute.”

They reviewed the inventive contract, which was structured more on minutes played and time spent mentoring the younger midfielders than anything else. If Tanner wanted to go and play somewhere else he could probably get signed by a struggling team that was rebuilding its roster and looking for a wily veteran with mad leadership skills and a ton of grit. But it would be no more than a one- or two-year deal at best. And it would not be nearly the compensation level he had been earning all along in NE. Any contracts for older players like Tanner were full of escape clauses for the team in case the player got injured or experienced a big drop off in level of play. But it was an option. If he wanted to go play someplace else Ali and his agent would make it happen for him.

“This guarantees me three years, here with the Revs, but with this sliding pay scale...depending on minutes?” he asked as he pursed his lips, deep in thought. 

“Yes” Ali nodded, studying his face and trying to read where his emotions were at. “And we made sure to get the mentorship part added in too. That’s just as important and they know it is.”

Tanner took the contract from Ali again and flipped through the pages, sinking back in his chair as his brain worked hard on the difficult decision.

“I’ve gotta talk to Renee” he blew out a breath and put the contract on the conference room table in front of him with a heavy sigh.

“Of course. We don’t need an answer right now. Think about it. Talk to Renee. Call either of us with any questions” Ali nodded and smiled gently at him. 

She could not have been any prouder of the younger man sitting next to her. Yes, she had worked some magic to get him into the league and in a place where she knew he’d have a legitimate chance to succeed. But Tanner had done everything else. He was a very talented and highly respected midfielder who had surprised almost everybody in the league with his toughness and intelligence and endurance. The supposed strength and durability issues that had kept him off of so many teams’ draft boards had been revealed as false assumptions early on in his rookie season. He had gone on to represent both the Revs organization, the Kraft family, and his own family with honor and dignity. His was a wonderful example of a scrappy kid with nothing to lose coming into a league not known for its grit and grind and proving to everybody that the beautiful game required the pretty poster boys AND the grunts in the midfield who pulled the strings, took the tough tackles, and helped make all the beautiful moments happen.

“I’m ready to settle down Al” he admitted softly, with a sheepish smile for his stepsister. “I’m getting married next month. I don’t want to have to start over somewhere else. I’d love to retire a Rev” he blinked quickly as his emotions rose up on him. “This is...everything I could have hoped for” he tapped the contract on the table and then let Ali take his hand in hers for support. “Thank you, thank you both” he looked from Ali to his agent and back.

“We made some phone calls and asked some questions” the brunette gave him a warm smile and squeezed his hand. “But you’re the one who did this Tan. It’s all you.”

//

The Krieger kids played basketball and indoor soccer during the winter, as usual, with Ashlyn still coaching Josie, Lily, and Dodge’s youth basketball teams. What was unusual that March was the twins’ burgeoning maturity. They were a couple months shy of their 12th birthday and acted like young idiots most of the time, as always. But sometimes, when their parents least expected it, Lily and Dodge could both be so grown up it was unsettling. Ali had the hardest time with it because whenever it happened, she was practically struck dumb and mute. It was the dimples. Both twins, as their early pubescent bodies began to change, had pudgy cheeks and their left one housed the same Harris dimple that the brunette had fallen in love with almost 20 years ago. The dimple had always been in both twins, but as they got older it became more pronounced. Lily also had the extra advantage of sharing Ashlyn and Gram’s beautiful hazel eyes. Dodge had inherited his crystal-clear, light blue eyes from Ashlyn’s father, but Ali had never fallen in love with those eyes. No, those hazel eyes were her weak spot, her kryptonite. Ali was going to be a goner if Lily ever realized the power she held in her cheek and her eyes.

6th grade had been good for both twins. Each adapted well but in their own way to the new school and the older tweens in 7th and 8th grade they shared the space with. They had been in elementary school with most of them, but kids often did a lot of changing during middle school. The kids who had been friendly 5th graders to Dodge and Lily as 3rd graders were now vastly different 8th graders. Dodge and Lily had changed as well, obviously, but some of their middle school mates were in the midst of complete transformations as 12- and 13-year olds. The changes were physical, mental, and emotional. Some kids had grown a foot taller, others had gotten braces or glasses, some had started menstruating, and others struggled with early bouts of acne. Some kids had identified a love for one subject or another and truly excelled in it, while others who once were the smartest in their class now had to fight hard to get passing grades. Some kids who had been uptight and worried about any number of world issues big and small all through elementary school, had mellowed into a more even temperament by 7th or 8th grade. But more often the case was the reverse – kids who had been happy-go-lucky had become angsty and confused and stressed.

The sweet magic of the tween years was the delicate balance between child and young adult. Lily had her first kiss back in the Fall with her first boyfriend Devin, but she still clutched at her plethora of stuffed animals every night in bed. Dodge had also kissed his first girl, his first girlfriend Katie, back in September. He could be brash as hell as usual, but, as always, turned into a soft puddle of love as his days wound down and his body and mind got tired. This boy who now kissed his girlfriend, however innocently as 11-year olds, would still cling to you as he snuggled on the couch at night, arm wrapped around one of his mothers’ legs and head in their lap. It was a jarring dichotomy for both Ali and Ashlyn and it had happened with all of their kids. They would never get used to it. As much as they continued to encourage their children to grow and mature they were always thankful for those moments when the kids slipped back into being kids again. Always.

//

“You haven’t had your period since when?!” Whitney’s mouth dropped open as she stared across the small, rustic dining table at Ali. Sydney and even Ashlyn had similar shocked looks on their faces.

It was the middle of July and the four best friends were enjoying a quiet night on one of the rare occasions that they were all coaching together at The Academy. Sydney and Ashlyn were there more often than not and Ali went up and coached 3 weeks each summer, but Whitney had a more difficult time getting away. When she did, they all made sure to try and synch up their schedules. As always, there were many other friends coaching with them that 3rd week of the Academy schedule, but this night was just for the four of them to catch up. They were in Ali and Ashlyn’s cabin after the evening camp activities and lights out for the campers. All of the 4-family girls were at camp, as was cousin Cristina. Cousin Lizzy Harris had aged out and was understandably crushed to be missing it this year.

“September” Ali repeated as she scrolled through the calendar on her phone with concern. “Holy shit.”

“So that makes it official then, right?” Sydney asked carefully, not sure how her bestie was reacting to the realization.

“No, it’s 12 months” Ashlyn answered confidently. “You’re not officially in official menopause until you go 12 months without getting your period.”

All three women looked at the keeper in surprise.

“What?” Ashlyn shrugged defensively. “I read.”

“Especially when you’re going through it now yourself finally too, huh?” Whitney winked and then smiled at her bestie.

“Hey, I get my period every month still. No change there” Ashlyn explained quickly, choosing not to go into more detail.

“Yep. The first week of September” Ali confirmed with a nod and a blank look on her face as she put her phone down and turned her attention back to the group. 

“So 10 months, wow” Sydney spoke quietly and made an eeek face, still trying to read the brunette’s mood. “And we’re...ok with this?”

“I don’t really have a choice do I?” Ali chuckled and let out a long sigh. “I just didn’t realize it had been that long. 10 months. Damn.”

“Well it sounds like you didn’t miss it” Whitney offered optimistically. “That’s good, right?”

“No, I definitely don’t miss it. But...I don’t know” Ali shrugged and gave the group a sheepish smile. “It feels weird.”

They had all been going through different stages of perimenopause but hadn’t really talked much about it together before. Ali was leading the charge but Sydney was close behind her on the timeline. Ashlyn came next and was just now starting to experience some of the frustrating and confusing symptoms herself. Whitney was 2 years younger than Ashlyn and 3 years younger than Ali and Sydney so she was aptly bringing up the rear in their close-knit group. But even she had found herself suffering some of the earliest symptoms once Ashlyn had broached the subject earlier in the year. 

“Have you had any hot flashes yet?” Whitney asked the group, moving from one face to the next. 

“Oh yeah” Ali rolled her eyes.

“Yep” Sydney raised her hand.

“Yeah, just starting to” Ashlyn sighed loudly.

“I still remember my mom complaining about those” Whitney chuckled and then got quiet.

There it was, the elephant in the room that nobody had been brave enough to bring up yet.

“How’s your mom doing Whit?” Sydney reached over and rubbed the lawyer’s shoulder supportively. “Still getting chemo every week?”

“Yeah” Whitney swallowed hard, surprised that it had been she herself who had brought the subject of her mom up. “Chemo three times a week. Dad takes her in. It’s awful. They’re both wrecks. We all are” she finished the terrible words with her eyes down in her lap.

Kim Engen had been struggling with breast cancer treatment since March. It was good to be in Arlington and so close to the treatment center. Neither she nor Whitney’s father regretted their decision to relocate for the duration of her fight, and maybe longer. But this bout of breast cancer was worse than before and it had called for a very aggressive chemo and schedule.

“Are they still gonna try adding in radiation this month?” Ashlyn’s soft voice asked the hard question.

“Yeah” Whitney nodded. “They always said the 6-month mark would tell us a lot about...how things were gonna go. And that’s next month.”

“Is Taylor coming back soon?” Ali asked about Whitney’s brother who still lived in California but was trying to spend as much time as possible with his mom that summer.

“He’ll be back in 2 weeks, right Whit?” Ashlyn answered for her bestie and smiled when saw the lawyer agree with another nod.

Nobody knew what to say. Whitney’s mom was dying a slow painful death right before their very eyes and they were all helpless to do anything about it. They did what they could though. Ashlyn made sure to offer her help with Tommy and Becca so Whitney could spend more time at her mom’s condo with her. Ali did her best to help at work, making sure Whitney wasn’t overloaded at K-H for any reason. But it had been Sydney who had helped the lawyer the most during that trying time and she had done it without even trying.

“How’s your mom doing?” Whitney asked the coach after an awkward moment of silence filled the space around them. “Getting any better, or worse?”

Having one of her best friends struggling with terrifying mom issues of her own made the lawyer feel less alone, less afraid. Whitney didn’t understand it, she just recognized it and accepted it. She and Sydney shared a new bond.

“Oh you know” Sydney sat back in her chair and blew out a long breath as she avoided meeting anybody’s eyes. “She’s the same. Stubborn. Impossible.”

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a quick glance, their hearts breaking for their two friends and the two moms who had always been like second mothers to them.

“Any luck getting her to move out?” Ashlyn asked cautiously.

“No” the coach shook her head and sighed again. “She’s stubborn as hell and she’s probably gonna die when she sets the house on fire by mistake. Goddamned fool.”

They all knew that the anger and frustration they could hear in Sydney’s voice was completely based in the enormous love she had for her mom. Sandi Leroux had been struggling for several years with a bunch of smaller health and medical concerns that were typical for any 70-year old woman. It was the more recent memory loss and confusion that had gotten her daughter more worried than ever.

“Dad and Vicki try to check on her as much as they can...”

“I know” Sydney rubbed her face with both hands and groaned. “I’m just...” she whimpered, her voice breaking as she hid her face behind her hands. “I don’t know what the fuck to do” she admitted and let her hands drop to the tabletop loudly. “She won’t talk to me about it. She won’t let me go with her to the doctor. She’s not taking care of herself. Do you know I found a stack of unpaid bills in her refrigerator the other day?”

“What?”  
“No way!”  
“You did not.”

“Swear to God. When I showed them to her she just laughed it off. Some of them said they were final notices!” the coach vented.

“If you need to do an intervention, my family’s got a lot of experience with those” Ashlyn offered sincerely.

“Mine too. We practically do them in our sleep by now, don’t we babe?” Ali winked at her wife, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. She knew Sydney always appreciated a good laugh, no matter the situation.

“Sure do!” the keeper chuckled.

They were all relieved when Sydney laughed too.

“I didn’t realize it was so bad Syd” Whitney gave her friend a concerned frown. “That’s scary as hell. At least my mom knows she’s sick and we’re all working together to try and beat it. This is just...well it’s just cruel what you’re dealing with. Jesus.”

“The person I’m most upset with is her doctor. That jackass isn’t doing his job right or he would have already had her dealing with this” the coach huffed and crossed her arms as she scowled. “I went to see him myself to tell him everything I’ve been seeing and all the crazy shit she’s been doing...”

“When was this?” Ali’s eyebrows were up when she heard the new information. “What’d he say?” 

“I went a couple of weeks ago, you guys were at the World Cup” the coach replied. “He told me that part of aging is dealing with some mild confusion...”

“Mild confusion?!” Ashlyn sat up and banged the table, making them all jump. “This woman is putting her mail in the fucking refrigerator for God’s sake! And he doesn’t have a problem with her driving?!”

“That’s what I said!” Sydney’s nostrils flared as her emotions rose up to meet Ashlyn’s energy and outrage. “She’s gonna kill someone, or herself, driving around like this.”

“Have you talked to Patty about it?” Ali asked, referencing Dr. Patty Comello who had become the family physician for both Krieger and Dwyer families and had been the ob/Gyn and delivered babies for all four women at the table.

“I saw her last week” the coach nodded, her eyes still flashing with anger. “She was actually helpful.”

“Good ol’ Patty!”  
“I’ll bet she was.”  
“Thank fucking God!”

“She said if I couldn’t get through to her doctor that the best thing to do was try and get an Emergency Room doctor to take a look at it with fresh eyes.”

When she was met with jaw drops from all three women, Sydney continued to explain.

“I know, it’s crazy. But mom’s doctor is just going by what she’s telling him. He knows her and trusts her take on things. Patty actually stopped me from driving back up to Ipswich to kill that motherfucker myself.”

“I get the fresh eyes of a new doc, but why the ER?” Ashlyn shook her head in confusion.

“Well she won’t have a choice then. You don’t get to choose your ER doc, do you?” she quirked her eyebrow at the group and was met with stunned silence. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna find a way to send her to the ER” Sydney laughed. “But the next time she goes, I’m gonna make sure to meet her there, no matter what, and pull the doc aside and explain things.”

“She’s there once a month practically, right?” Ali’s eyebrows were up high as she processed all the scary, new information.

“Exactly” Sydney agreed. “It’s always something. She’s cutting her finger so bad that she needs stitches. Or she’s dropping something heavy and practically breaking her foot. She scratched her eye so bad a few weeks ago that it swelled up on her, so off to the ER she went.”

“She drove herself to the ER with one eye swollen shut...” Whitney asked as her jaw dropped again.

“And with whatever dementia she’s dealing with now too” Sydney nodded, her eyes wide. “Yeah. It’s bad.”

“Jesus Syd” Ali exhaled a breath and shook her head slowly at the situation. The brunette knew more about her best friend’s worries than anybody else but it was still hard to hear and take in. “And she won’t come live with you still?”

“Nope. I ask her almost every single damned day.”

“What about that guy, her boyfriend or whatever...” Ashlyn looked helplessly at her wife for assistance with his name.

“Victor” Ali supplied the answer.

“Victor, yeah, what about him?”

“That was never very permanent, you know?” Sydney provided the short version of her mother’s quasi-boyfriend. He had been permanent enough to make occasional appearances at the holidays over the years. “They saw each other now and then...” she paused.

“Ewww, nobody wants to hear about their mom’s booty calls” Whitney cringed.

“No we do not need to go there” the coach giggled and they all enjoyed the moment of levity. “But uh, no, he’s not around anymore” Sydney’s voice was serious again. “I think he noticed she was having trouble a long time before anybody else did. Fucker.”

“Took off when things got hard” Ali rolled her eyes. “What a dick.”

“Anyway, that’s my sob story” Sydney slumped down in her chair and finished her beer with a nervous chuckle. “Thanks for letting me bitch about it.”

They all got up and hugged the coach and then hugged Whitney too before taking their seats again. Watching your mom struggle in her old age was not something any of them were looking forward to, at all. It scared the shit out of all four of them. But the support from this tight group was always fierce, and both distraught daughters knew that they could all count on each other, any time.

“So what’s going on with you Ash” Whitney finally spoke again once their emotions had all cooled off a bit. “Not too many peri-menopause symptoms yet, and both your moms are doing ok, right?” she joked lightly.

“Oh man, I’m good” Ashlyn chuckled. “Honestly. If my biggest beef right now is not killing Drew while I’m trying to teach him how to drive, then I’m doing alright. I’m just gonna sit here and be thankful. Don’t mind me.”

//

The Women’s World Cup had been held in Colombia that year and Ashlyn had been on the broadcast team, as usual. She went to South America for 4 weeks from the second week of June through the first week of July. Ali, Deb and the kids joined her for the last two weeks once school was out. The twist that year was that Johnny and Lizzy Harris came along for the trip. Ali kept her promise to Beth about bringing the Harris kids on whatever the next big trip was going to be. Turns out it was the World Cup in Colombia and both Johnny and Lizzy were excited. Johnny had just graduated high school in May and was looking forward to going to college in September. Even though he was an annoying, know-it-all teenager who would be turning 18 at the end of July, Johnny had an awesome time in Colombia. He tried hard not to show it, but all three grown women knew it anyway. 15-1/2 year old Lizzy was deep in the throes of puberty and nearly impossible to read most of the time. But she felt comfortable with her aunts and cousins and big brother and slowly came out of her shell more every single day.

The USWNT had lost the previous WWC in 2031 to England, but had earned redemption by defeating Canada for the gold medal in the 2032 Olympics in Hong Kong. The team was still #1 in the world standings and continued to dominate weaker teams and beat even the best competition more often than not. Women’s soccer all over the world had kept getting better and better and every single international competition had become more challenging for even the best teams. The US squad had the same tight core group from 2032 but without a handful of the oldest veterans who had hung up their boots in the past couple of years. The two captains were gone but two new ones had stepped up and filled the gap nicely. The biggest change from 2032 to present was the head coaching position. After 11 years, Laura Harvey had stepped down from the job after winning Olympic Gold in 2032. She had been replaced by one of the hottest young coaches in the NWSL – Boston Breakers’ own former player and current head coach Abby Smith. 

Her pedigree was impeccable and her success impossible to ignore. Abby had been drafted as a keeper by Boston and had played alongside Ashlyn for several years in Breakers blue. She had been called up to the USWNT and become a starter for her country along the way too. She retired from both levels of soccer after the 2027 NWSL season and started her coaching career as an assistant coach for the young Utah Royals. After 3 years she was hired as the new head coach of the Boston Breakers. The Breakers, with their new head coach, won the NWSL Championship in her first season in 2031. And in 2032 Smith led the team back to the playoffs again. She had spent her entire 12-year NWSL playing career with the Breakers and been inducted as a Pillar of Excellence in front of her devoted Boston fans. She was a proven winner. She had won at every level she had played and coached at. Abby Smith was the top choice for USWNT head coach and she became the first black person to ever hold the position – man or woman.

Smith had been working with the national team for all of 2033 & 2034, getting them ready to play her brand of soccer and hopefully dominate the World Cup this year. Most soccer experts were optimistic about her chances. The other piece to the coaching puzzle was the new head coach for the Breakers after Abby Smith moved up. Long-time fan favorite Angela Salem had been climbing the college coaching ladder since retiring after the 2022 NWSL season. She had come back to the NWSL as a head coach of the Minnesota Shieldmaidens in 2030 and Ashlyn had been thrilled to see her hired as the head coach of the Breakers starting with the 2033 season. Just as Abby Smith had done with her first two seasons as Boston’s head coach, Angela Salem won the NWSL Championship her first year and took the team back to the playoffs in her second year. She was well on her way to repeating the playoff appearance with this year’s 2035 Breakers team too.

The 2035 USWNT was strong and made it all the way to the World Cup Final, losing there to a powerful Australian team that had been waiting in the wings for their first World Cup Championship victory for what felt like a very long time. The Matildas had finished in third place twice before at the World Cup, in 2023 and again in 2031. They finally won the big one that year in 2035. In addition to their 3rd place finish in 2031, they also came in third in the 2032 Olympics. They were big, fast, athletic, and technical and they beat the USA at their own game this year. All they had been missing was the mental toughness aspect and it appeared the string of recent 3rd place finishes had motivated them enough in that regard as well. The world was happy for the Aussies – it was a joyful thing to watch a team win its very first international tournament. America, in particular, was fond of the Australian national team because so many of the players had played for years in the NWSL. An entire generation of US soccer fans had grown up watching some of the very best Aussies play the beautiful game right there in their own backyards so it was only natural for Americans to root for the Australians, unless they were playing the USA. It was disappointing for the USWNT to lose the biggest game in women’s soccer for the second time in a row, but the fans knew that it just meant the US team would be coming in extra EXTRA hot for the 2039 WWC. And everybody knew the USWNT usually dominated the Olympics the next year following a big loss at the World Cup. Next summer in Toronto Canada, the world would witness an even tougher US squad determined to do one thing and one thing only – win the Olympic Gold medal to help take away the sting from losing the World Cup.

//

The summer flew by, as it so often did, and three big firsts happened in September. Johnny Harris went to college at the University of Central Florida as a full-time student, living in the dorms and enjoying all the independence any college freshman could imagine. Of course, he was close enough to Satellite Beach to be able to bring his laundry home whenever he wanted to. College was still a scary idea for the young man who had come from a home of very modest means, but Johnny adjusted quickly. Ashlyn, his aunt and godmother, had taken him under her wing and prepared him as best she could. 

Meg, the most recent collegian in the family, had also given Johnny as much advice as he had requested. She was busy herself that Fall, competing for a starting spot on the Red Stars squad in her very first NWSL season. That was another of the firsts that September. Meg had fought her way onto the team, cemented her spot as the #2 goalkeeper, and was pushing for starting time in the last month of regular season games as Chicago made a surprising run for the last playoff spot in the Eastern Conference. Nobody expected the Red Stars to be in the hunt for that playoff spot, and they were still up against long odds to get there, but it was the most exciting September of soccer Chicago had seen for a very long time.

And the third first from that September was Josie forging a new path of her own – starting private high school at the distinguished Phillips Academy in Andover, MA. The redhead and her moms had spent a lot of time finding a high school that would challenge Josie while making her feel welcome and at home too. Just when they had almost given up all hope of finding a school that would work for them, Ali and Ashlyn realized they had omitted one of the best private high schools in New England, right from the very start of their search. Phillips Academy was located in Andover, MA and it was commonly known as ‘Andover’. All the school merch said ‘Andover’ and all of the other private high schools that competed against them used the same one-word name for the school as well. It didn’t seem to bother anybody, except for the other people who lived in the town of Andover and went to the public high school there. Teachers, students, and parents of the public Andover high school thought it was presumptuous and stuck up of Phillips Academy to make it sound as though they were the only school that mattered in the entire town of Andover. Nobody could blame them either. The public high school teams and groups and students were constantly having to clarify that they weren’t Phillips Academy. It was annoying as hell.

The long-time physical education teacher and girls’ soccer coach for Andover High School hated it just as much as everybody else in Andover did. And that PE teacher and coach was none other than Sydney Rae Leroux Dwyer. Everyone in the four-family group, parents and children alike, had grown used to hearing Sydney complain about the stuffy private high school that usurped the town name every single day. It was for that reason that the Kriegers had never even included Phillips Academy on the list of potential private high schools for miss Josie. Of course it turned out to be just what they had been looking for. Of course. 

After some agonizing over it, and only after getting Sydney’s blessing, Ali and Ashlyn enrolled their daughter in Phillips Academy for her freshman year of high school. Once they had started learning about what the school had to offer it was apparent that it was exactly what they had been hoping to find – a school that was challenging academically while still offering robust sports, arts, and other extracurricular programs with a student body that was more diverse than anybody expected.

And there was no way Sydney would deny her own goddaughter the school that truly did seem to be the best fit for her. Sydney loved Josie so much that she bought and wore an ‘Andover’ sweatshirt to every one of the redhead’s soccer games that Fall – well, the ones she could actually attend anyway. Ali didn’t think she could love her best friend any more than she already did – but the coach’s selfless endorsement of Phillips Academy proved her wrong after all. Sydney’s heart was big enough to swallow her nearly 30-years worth of anti-‘Andover’ sentiment, and then some. Thank God. 

The fact that Josie was now spending her school days in the same town as Sydney was not lost on any of the adults. The Krieger and Dwyer school schedules were busy as they already were. Adding in an extra school that wasn’t near Gloucester or technically even on the way to work for either Krieger mom was only going to cause added stress and windshield time to the schedule. The drive from Gloucester to Cambridge, Ali’s morning commute, took a little more than an hour, without traffic. She passed by Lynnfield, where the Dwyers lived, on the way, about halfway through her commute. Sydney’s commute from her house in Lynnfield up to Andover, two towns North of her, took about 25 minutes. Thankfully for Ali and Ashlyn, if there ever was an emergency that they couldn’t get to Andover fast enough for, Sydney was simply a 5-minute drive across town. 

The morning schedule at the big old house was adapted once again to the new wrinkle. With all three other kids walking to the bus stop for their rides to Middle School and High School, Ali drove Josie to Phillips Academy in Andover every morning. After 3 years of independently taking the bus to and from school, the redhead bristled at having to spend time with her mom in the minivan. But until she started driving on her own there was no other choice, for either of them. Depending on what after school activities Josie had on any given day, Ashlyn would pick her up from school, or Ali would if the redhead’s day went longer. Sometimes, Josie went to Sydney’s house after school until one of her moms could come and get her. That part was easy though. Josie loved being with Sydney and with James and with her new school friends so she didn’t mind not being at home in the afternoons. The only thing she truly missed was the piano in the front parlor of the big old house.

Phillips Academy was also a boarding school, so out-of-state students lived there in dormitories too. About half of the student population was comprised of boarding students, with the other half being day students. It was an interesting twist in the high school plot, that was for sure. There were strict rules and curfews for the boarders and they were strongly enforced. But the whole environment stimulated independence among the entire student body – which was kind of the point. It was a cause of concern for both Ali and Ashlyn at first. But the whole point of having an advanced child was that they were ahead of the curve in many ways. Going to a school where independent thought was not just encouraged, but required, was certainly the point. No doubt. But both moms’ hearts ached as they watched the last little bits of innocence in their precocious, over-achieving daughter disappear before their very eyes. Josie was 14, going on 24 it seemed and there was nothing Ali or Ashlyn could do to stop it.

Drew, 2 years older and entering his junior year of high school, was a momma’s boy and a homebody. He was getting older and more mature but there was no yearning to strike out on his own the way there was with Josie. Parenting Josie in high school was like trying to hold onto the hot end of a firework that had just been lit. it was frustrating for everybody and it burned Ali and Ashlyn like hell. 

“Maybe we just have to let go” Ashlyn shrugged her shoulders one night in late September as the two moms had yet another soul-searching conversation about the angsty teen. “Maybe she really is ready.”

The wisdom of Ashlyn’s words was undercut by the anxiety in her stormy hazel eyes and the fear in her voice. Ali bore the brunt of the battle scars from dealing with feisty Josephine Krieger, but Ashlyn was just as involved in the strategic maneuvers and course corrections the two moms had to make daily. The keeper and the redhead had just had a big blow up about soccer and how Josie didn’t want to play anymore. She wanted to quit midway through her freshman year and that was never going to be ok with either of her moms.

“She’s not quitting halfway through the season” Ali gave her wife a shocked look as they sat side by side in bed, propped up against the headboard, too stressed out to try and sleep yet.

“No, no, no” Ashlyn winced and sighed heavily. “Of course not” she reached over and gave her wife’s thigh a reassuring pat through the covers. “I just mean in general” she let her shoulders slump in a mixture of exhaustion and submission. “I don’t know” she shook her head and furrowed her brow.

“You don’t really think she’s ready to just make her own decisions...” Ali’s voice wasn’t accusatory at all. Her whole being was quiet and questioning – unsure of everything she thought she had ever known about parenting. “...do you?”

“No” Ashlyn shook her head slowly from side to side, pursing her lips thoughtfully. “No I don’t. But I don’t know what else to do. No matter what we do, it’s the wrong thing. We’ve never needed as many rules with her in the first place, but we have to have some...don’t we?”

“Yeah, definitely” Ali nodded carefully. “But the harder we hold on, the harder she pulls away. We’re only making it worse.”

“So what do we do?” Ashlyn turned to look into the face she loved more than anything else in the world. The worry that creased it made the keeper angry at their independent, challenging daughter. “Loosen more rules for her? That’s only gonna make it twice as hard when the twins get to high school.”

“We can’t worry about that right now though babe” Ali took her wife’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “They’re all different, and we’ve always been able to adjust things here and there for that...”

“Like letting Dodge start skateboarding and snowboarding early because he was just freakishly coordinated.” Ashlyn offered a prime example.

“Yes” Ali agreed with another nod. “Or how we let Jojo stay home alone younger than we did with Drew.”

“Ok, so how different are we talking about now?” the keeper blinked at her wife, both women cautiously optimistic that they could find a solution but completely unsure it would actually work.

“How about we let her decide her own schedule for a while” the brunette proposed after thinking hard for another couple of minutes and finally gathering enough courage to say the words out loud. “In the afternoons I mean. If she wants to stay at school and hang out with her friends instead of coming right home...”

“She can do that” Ashlyn finished the sentence as she considered it with a serious look on her face. “She knows how long it takes each of us to get there to pick her up” she continued to work out the idea, “and if she has to wait sometimes then she’ll have to wait” she shrugged. “That’s the consequence of not setting up and sticking to a schedule.”

They were both quiet for another minute or two, deep in thought about Josie waiting in the student lounge or the library or some other safe place at school until they could pick her up. They talked more about the evening schedule and realized that the redhead would be in Andover a lot more than she would be in Gloucester. And it was only going to get worse each year until she graduated and went away to college. It hadn’t been discussed yet, but both moms knew their girl was going to fly away someplace amazing for her next move. But they couldn’t handle that yet. They had their hands and hearts full with freshman year of high school and that was more than enough at the moment.

“Yeah, I think it’s a good plan” Ali finally spoke, her voice soft and sad. “Her whole world is gonna be there at school. We have to let her be there too. And once she gets her license...” she chewed on her bottom lip to try and keep control of her unwieldy emotions. 

“She’ll be gone there all the time anyway” Ashlyn lifted her left arm and pulled her melancholy wife into a hug as she spoke. “Oh man” she blew out a breath as she rocked Ali gently in her arms. “I knew she’d be harder than Drew, but Jesus fucking Christ...”

“But we trust her, right?” Ali spoke into her keeper’s chest, her voice plaintive but clear. “I mean, we’ve controlled the kids for so long because they weren’t ready to make their own decisions. We didn’t trust them to make the right choice and keep themselves safe. Right?”

“Yes, definitely” Ashlyn nodded as she thought about it. “It’s what Matty always talked about when we first started seeing her together, remember? About trust and control?”

Ali thought about their old therapist’s advice as a pang of nostalgia hit her heart.

“I had such a hard time trying to figure out how to be both your wife and your agent...” she sighed but didn’t sound as sad as she let her strong keeper hold her. “She always said if I truly trusted you I wouldn’t feel the need to control you. If I loved you I would trust that you knew what was best for you...”

“Well yeah, it’s a good theory and I agree” Ashlyn chuckled. “But some of us less organized people need you experts to help us out sometimes. But I get what she was going for there” she paused for another few seconds before bringing up another control challenge they had faced. “It was the same thing with Drew and the rest of the babies...”

“God, yes” Ali lifted her head up and kissed her keeper’s chin. “Wait, do you think I’m turning back into a helicopter mom again?!” her eyes went wide and she sat up straight.

Ashlyn felt terrible she had brought it up when she saw the terror on her wife’s tired face.

“No. No way baby. Not at all” the blonde shook her head definitively. “I just meant that you had learned from that, learned how not to do that...fuck” she stammered as she tried to dig her way out of a potential problem that she hadn’t anticipated. “I mean we both learned how not to do that...”

“It’s ok” Ali’s face relaxed and she let the keeper pull her back into another embrace. “I know I’m pretty good about that now, but you scared me for a minute there” she chuckled. “I thought you were trying to tell me without having to actually tell me...” 

“Fuck no babe” Ashlyn wrapped her wife up and squeezed her, pressing a kiss into the top of her head. “I wanted to remind you how well we did that back then. That’s all.”

“Ok, whew” Ali giggled and let out a soft sigh that revealed how satisfying it was to be held by the woman of her dreams right in that moment. “Ok, so we’ll talk to her tomorrow about setting her own schedule, or NOT setting one up is more like it” she corrected herself with a little whine.

“We’ll give it a try” Ashlyn shrugged. “And if it’s not working – if she’s not getting her assignments done or if her grades start to slip, then we’ll try something else. Ok?” 

“Yeah, ok” Ali agreed and hummed into the hug she gave her wife as the need for sleep finally pushed aside the stress of parenting. “Let’s get some sleep.”

“Yes please” Ashlyn smiled and held up the covers so they could both get into their favorite sleeping position – Ashlyn on her back with Ali tucked into her left side. “But can I say one more thing before we close the topic for the night?”

“Yeah...?” Ali’s voice was wary and she could feel her heartrate speed up again instead of slowing down as it had just started to do.

Ashlyn felt her wife’s body tense up and wanted to soothe her right away.

“No, it’s not bad baby. I promise.”

“Ok...” Ali still sounded cautious.

Ashlyn moved her left hand up and down the brunette’s back, patting her butt affectionately now and then before continuing.

“You said her whole world is gonna be at school...” she paused, wanting to get the next words right because they were important.

“MmmHmm” Ali nodded warily.

“Not her whole world though, honey” the keeper turned and kissed Ali’s head gently. “Her world is here, with us, in this house and it always has been. Now she’s exploring other places, other worlds. It’s like she’s an astronaut leaving the mother ship, right?” she asked but didn’t wait for a reply. “Sure she’s out there exploring, but she’s tethered to us, always. She can’t breathe out there on her own without her spacesuit and the oxygen we give her. She’ll always come back home. Don’t you ever doubt that Al. She loves us, she loves you, whether she understands it right now or not, you know?”

“You think so?” Ali’s voice was impossibly small and questioning.

“I know so. So don’t you even worry about it” Ashlyn grinned and pressed a long kiss into the brunette’s forehead. She knew what Ali was afraid of. She was afraid of it herself too, but Josie wasn’t as tough on Ashlyn. The keeper could feel her wife’s body relaxing towards sleep, and peace. Ashlyn wanted to make sure Ali’s heart got some TLC before they both drifted off for the night. “Her world is here and it’ll always be here, no matter how many new ones she goes out and discovers. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, but I promise you honey, this is her world.”


	16. Milestones Big & Small (2035 -part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the other chapter about the year 2035.  
> Let me know what you think about this type of summary jump forward, please.  
> The end of the chapter takes place during sexy times, but without describing sexy times so no official smut warning.

The rest of 2035 was busy but not surprising. Beth Harris celebrated her 25th sober anniversary at the end of September and Ashlyn brought her family down for the weekend to make sure everyone gave Beth the credit and praise she was due. 25 years sober was a long ass time and anybody who successfully fought the disease that long deserved to be recognized and celebrated like crazy. Drew got his learner’s permit and started driving more with both Ashlyn and Ali. It was nerve-wracking for all three of them but they worked their way through it. Ali officially hit menopause after one full year from her last period and Ashlyn very sweetly acknowledged the prickly milestone in her own way.

“Ash, what is going on?” Ali asked with more than a little annoyance as the keeper led her up the backstairs by the hand on Sunday afternoon in the first week of October. “Meg’s game is gonna start in 15 minutes...” 

“I know, I know, that’s why we’re doing this now. I’ve already waited a week and I’m not waiting anymore” Ashlyn replied, still tugging her wife’s hand around the foot of their bed and back up to Ali’s side. 

They stopped in front of the fireplace there and the keeper’s face broke into a big, dimple-bearing grin. Ali looked at her with confusion, missing the head nods the blonde was making towards the fireplace.

“Is there something wrong with your neck?” the brunette laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “If you want a massage all you have to do is ask, but we’re doing it downstairs while we watch the game...”

“No” Ashlyn dropped her shoulders and rolled her eyes dramatically after a few more seconds of missed winks and nods. “Baby, look” she made her eyes as wide as possible, with her eyebrows up to her hairline, and pointed her face directly at the fireplace next to them.

“Oh!” Ali exclaimed, still confused but aware now of the 5 or 6 tampon and sanitary pad boxes piled on the log rack inside the brick fireplace. “Ummm...ok...” she gave her wife an amused smile. Whatever Ashlyn was trying to do wasn’t half as cute as the exasperated keeper herself was right at the moment. “We’re gonna need some more logs if you want a fire...and we should really do it in the family room so we can all enjoy it while we watch the game...”

“Al, seriously” Ashlyn closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, willing herself to be patient with her clueless wife.

“Babe, whatever you’re doing is sweet and I love you for it, but...I’m not getting it” the brunette giggled as she leaned forward and gave her wife’s lips a soft kiss. “You’re cute though” she winked and grinned. “Thank you.”

“Alright, well” Ashlyn smiled at the kiss and then sighed. She rolled her eyes again, but this time at herself. “Look, I know it’s been a whole year now and I just wanted to let you know that it’s a big deal and...” she paused, suddenly shy. Maybe Ali didn’t want to mark the occasion. Maybe this was a big mistake. Too late to stop now “...I don’t know” she shrugged bashfully, “it’s ok if you’re upset or sad or...whatever you’re feeling about not getting your period anymore – I’m here for you.”

“Ashlyn...” Ali whispered emotionally as she watched and listened to the most thoughtful woman in the world commemorate her menopause milestone. The brunette herself had already processed the event, or nonevent really, but was incredibly moved by the kind gesture. “You are the absolute sweetest...” she wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her into a tight hug, mumbling into her neck. “Thank you so much honey. I love you.”

“What’s in the fireplace?” Lily asked tentatively as she stepped to the foot of the bed and pointed. She hadn’t meant to enter the room from the second-floor hallway like a ninja – she had just been in deep thought.

“Oh, umm” Ashlyn paused for a split second as the two moms slowly turned their embrace into a side hug and faced their 12-1/2 year old daughter.

Lily blinked and cocked her head to the side while she waited for the answer. The fact that her Mama had made it sound like the answer might not be for her to hear only made her that much more intrigued.

“It’s empty tampon and pad boxes” Ali smiled warmly at the young blonde. “At least I hope they’re empty” she chuckled and gave Ashlyn a playful eeek face.

“Definitely empty” the keeper laughed. “Have we met?” she made a joke about her own fiscal stinginess regarding most day to day items.

Both Ali and Lily laughed.

“Did you get it Wee?” Dodge asked as he joined them, poking his sister in the back for good measure and using the childhood nickname that was reserved for immediate family only. “The game’s starting in, like, 2 minutes” he exaggerated slightly, mostly out of enthusiasm.

“Not yet” Lily answered, turning her body to look at her twin and explain why she didn’t have Meg’s Red Stars jersey on yet. 

He already had his on, the big white numbers on the back, 22, beneath the name that was almost too long to fit across his shoulders, ‘Doucette’. As a rookie, Meg wasn’t guaranteed the number of her choice, but she had been lucky #22 was available. She took it as a very good sign, indeed.

“What are you guys doing?” Dodge’s face scrunched up as he noticed the colorful boxes in the fireplace.

“Well” Ali gave her wife a quick questioning glance, shrugged her shoulders, and explained. “You know how we celebrate all kinds of milestones for you guys?”

“Like birthdays and school graduations?” Dodge asked quickly, most of his mind was on the soccer game and he just wanted to speed this – whatever it was – along.

“No, more like the smaller things” Ali continued. “Like when you lose a tooth, or when you turned 10 and got your phones...”

“Oh, like growing up things” Lily suggested less confidently than her brother had a moment before.

“Exactly” Ali smiled. “Growing up things. Only when you’re an adult we call it aging, sometimes.”

“Yeah?” Dodge asked impatiently. “So, what are you doing?”

“Mom had a milestone and I wanted to celebrate it for her” Ashlyn took her turn, wondering if celebrate was the right word to use or not. “So we’re gonna burn these boxes.”

“But why?” Dodge asked again, clearly getting more interested or he would have just gone back downstairs already. The boy did love fire though. “You guys use that stuff all the time, don’t you?”

Ali and Ashlyn had never hidden any part of the menstruation cycle from their kids. They had always answered any questions and they had tried to be open about it when it impacted their daily lives. There had been a push for men to become more educated or at least less ignorant about menstruation in general, and Ali and Ashlyn knew that calling it cute names and pretending they had a headache instead of saying they had cramps would only perpetuate the problem in the first place. They wanted their sons to grow up to be supportive, informed boyfriends and husbands one day too. All of the kids had seen Ali struggle through her really awful cramps a couple of times a year and the two moms had been honest about that too, once Drew had been old enough to understand.

“My milestone is that I don’t get my period anymore” Ali found herself shrugging for some reason. She would have to think about her reaction later though. She wanted to watch Meg’s game too. “I don’t know if it’s a celebration or not, but it’s a big occasion in a woman’s life and Mama surprised me with this sweet little ceremony.”

Ali kissed Ashlyn’s cheek and the keeper handed her the lighter tool while both kids frowned in confusion.

“You don’t get your period anymore?” Lily found her voice and asked the question for both of them. “How come?”

“It’s kind of like how you don’t get your period until you’re 12 or 13, something around that age, right?” Ashlyn explained as the brunette squatted down and lit the first tampon box before moving on to two others. “A girl’s body has to get ready to start getting your period, right?”

“Yeah, puberty and all of that” Dodge replied as he watched the small flames lick at the edges of the cardboard boxes.

“You got it big guy” Ashlyn grinned at the boy and then looked at Lily again. “After a woman’s had her period for...a while” the keeper swallowed hard, not sure how to explain this without making her wife seem old and out of commission. “Her body goes through another change, kind of like puberty but this time it’s called menopause.”

The term wasn’t unfamiliar to either child because they had been reading about it in different, age-appropriate books about human sexuality their entire lives. But they didn’t really know the first thing about it.

“Oh yeah” Lily’s eyes lit up in recognition at the word. “Aren’t you really old though when that happens?”

The question had been intended innocently but Ashlyn winced, nonetheless. Ali stood up and chuckled as she pulled Lily into her side and kissed the top of her head. The young blonde would be getting her period for the very first time very soon and she had already talked with both moms about how excited she was about it. It was hard to be patient and wait for such a momentous occasion, but she really didn’t have any choice.

“Well, I’m 51 now and that’s about the age when most women hit menopause” Ali offered genuinely. “I know that seems old to you...”

“You’re not old though” Dodge scowled at such a ridiculous notion, lifting unbelieving eyes up to meet his mom’s cinnamon ones.

“Oh I love you my sweet, sweet boy” Ali laughed lightly and gave her son a nose-crinkling grin.

“Yeah, old is like...” Lily squinted and cocked her head as she considered it, “...Grandma or Mrs. Ortiz...” she said, referencing their neighbor who was in her 80s. 

“Well that’s good to hear” Ashlyn smiled too, delighted by the turn of events which had so clearly made her wife happy too.

“But just like puberty, it’s different for all of us” Ali picked up the explanation again. “Mama might not stop getting her period for many more years” she shrugged.

“Or I might stop getting it this year” the keeper suggested with her own shrug as all four of them watched the flames flare up and the cardboard sizzle and hiss as it burned quickly. “Nobody knows.”

They watched the fire for another minute, nobody saying anything until the last orange flame disappeared below the now empty rack. Ashlyn held Ali’s hand and the brunette held onto Lily as they all stood there in front of the fireplace. Neither mom wanted to say much more because they were pretty sure that 12-year olds wouldn’t understand the emotions around a once-fertile womb that was now no longer able to create life. Just as Ashlyn opened her mouth to wrap things up, Dodge’s voice sounded and did the job for her. He made them all laugh, his words reflecting how they were all feeling in that moment.

“Ok, that was cool. Now let’s go watch Meggie kick some butt! Come on!” 

//

Friday, October 19th was a big day in the big old house. Ashlyn was turning 50 and Ali was hellbent on celebrating it right for her girl. Of course, many other people were trying to do the same thing. Ashlyn was beloved by many, and everybody wanted some of her time that day to sing her Happy Birthday and watch her blow out the candles on her birthday cake. Thankfully, all the different groups checked in with Ali so she knew what she was up against. At first, the brunette tried to coordinate all the disparate ‘work’ gatherings into one bigger event that Friday but it fell apart quickly because of distance and schedules. Everyone was just going to have to do their own thing and Ali would do her best to make sure Ashlyn made the rounds that day. The keeper had four different birthday parties, starting with and then going in order: MHI at 10:30am, Breakers at 11:30am, a remote video party with her broadcasting group at 1:30pm, and then finally Knight-Harris at 2:30pm. That should leave her just enough time to get back home to pick up whatever kid needed a ride from whichever activity there was that afternoon. Ali had her own list of errands to run between work and home and she would be pressed for time too. Thankfully, Sydney had agreed to pick up Josie from school and drive her up to the big old house with the Dwyers for birthday dinner that night. That would be the keeper’s fifth party on the day.

Nobody wanted to miss Ashlyn’s 50th birthday. She had been open and honest about trying to adjust to her upcoming half-century mark for a couple of weeks previously, so everybody knew it was coming. She hadn’t thought about that when she had begun posting about what being middle-aged meant to her.

“You just have to keep moving babe” Ali counseled her that morning after she and the kids had sung her happy birthday and given her their birthday cards. 

The rushed, morning chaos celebration was still one of Ashlyn’s favorite parts of birthdays at home with her family. She loved it more every year. But this year she had to get moving herself or she would never make it through the day. She was truly touched by how many people wanted to reach out to her on her big day.

“I know, I know” the keeper nodded and gave her wife a grateful smile as she kissed her goodbye in the mudroom at 7:30am. 

She was surprised when Ali put a hand behind her shaggy head and pulled her in for a real kiss. Josie and the dogs were all standing there watching and wagging but the brunette didn’t care. The love of her life was 50 years old and she was going to kiss her like she meant it.

“Ugh” Josie groaned and rolled her eyes as she pulled the big red door open. Her voice was full of 14-year old annoyance as she spoke over her shoulder to her parents. “I’ll be in the car.”

“Wow” Ashlyn panted a minute later, her cheeks pink and her grin wide as they pulled apart after the searing kiss. “Happy Birthday to me.”

“Keep moving, stick to your schedule” Ali gave out last-minute advice as she caught her breath and grabbed the keys to the minivan. “Taylor has your back at MHI and I’ve got you at the office, but be careful at the stadium. You’re gonna have to get yourself out of there.” It sounded awful as she played back her own words in her head, but the brunette knew that Ashlyn would stay for two hours, at least, at each place because she was so nice and genuinely wanted to talk to everybody. “Try and eat lunch there but then get to the office in time for your remote video call...”

“I know honey, I’ve got it” Ashlyn gave her wife a quick peck on the lips and an affectionate pat on the butt as she grinned like a fool after the steamy birthday kiss. Josie gave the horn a long honk. “Go on” the keeper giggled. “Love you.”

What wasn’t negotiable was the Friday night family birthday dinner and party at the big old house. That meant dinner with family and four-family friends at 6:00pm, then random shenanigans followed by cake and ice cream after that. Ali and Knight-Harris were throwing Ashlyn a big 50th birthday bash Saturday night in Boston, complete with DJ, dance floor, grown-up party games, and a guest list that was pretty top-notch. Friday night was just for the inner circle, totally relaxed and stress-free.

“Thanks again kiddo, I love you” Ashlyn blew a kiss into the iPad where Meg’s face filled the screen. It was the last weekend of the regular season for the NWSL and she was in Chicago with her team. “Now go kick some butt tomorrow!!” she yelled and pumped her fist, excited about the nationally televised game Meg would be playing in Saturday afternoon. 

Whitney, Niki, Dom Dwyer, and Julie Donaldson all shouted out their support as well, as Ashlyn and Meg ended their call. The five were sitting around the far end of the dining room table where they had just enjoyed a delicious dinner prepared by Ali, Deb, and Molly. The kids had all scattered to different rooms of the big old house and some were even outside in the dark backyard with the dogs. It was hard to see because they hadn’t turned the yard light on, but it looked like Ryan and Ken Krieger were taking penalty kicks and a couple of kids were trying to stop them. There was sure to be at least a bloody nose before all was said and done there, typical in any four-family gathering. Drew, Ethan, and Evan Cross were playing video games in the basement. Josie, James, Maddox and Dodge were all in the garage making what sounded more like a god-awful racket than actual music. Josie’s electric keyboard and Dodge’s drum kit were set up in the garage on the ground level along with a microphone and amplifier. It didn’t qualify as a garage band yet, but it was a good start. It got even better when James brought his bass guitar and Penny Cross brought her guitar. They were all bummed that neither had done so that night. It was probably for the best though because Maddox and Dodge kept running from the garage to the penalty kicks and the dogs and then back again at a dizzying pace. Penny, Becca Flanagan, and Sydney were all in the front living room practicing hair braids while Vicki and Deb and Sandy watched. Neil Donaldson and Tommy Flanagan were checking out Ashlyn’s new binoculars from their spot at the nook table in the back of the family room. One of the keeper’s favorite things to do when she had a few quiet moments to herself, was to sit and watch the hummingbirds at the special feeder she had put up for them in the far corner of the backyard. The fancy binoculars were the perfect gift for her. That left Ali and Molly cleaning up after dinner and fielding random questions from whomever was passing through the kitchen from one activity to the next.

“She’s gonna be pissed when you all take that 3rd playoff spot” Dom winked at Ashlyn as he took a drink of his beer after the FaceTime call. “You’re a wicked, wicked step-mother, aren’t you?” he teased and everybody, including Ashlyn, laughed.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think about that” Niki’s jaw dropped. “You’re lucky she called to wish you happy birthday at all.” 

“There’s still a chance Chicago can finish in third in the East” Ashlyn countered optimistically.

“Yeah, like a snowball’s chance in hell” Whitney giggled.

“Ah, so not really then” Julie nodded and chuckled. She was the best neighbor in the world and a wonderful nurse and friend to the Kriegers, but she wasn’t a big sports fan. “Got it.”

“Technically there IS a chance” Whitney clarified. “But so many things would have to happen in this weekend’s games that it’s just really really unlikely that all of them will happen.”

They made light conversation about Niki’s BC team, Dom’s new hire for the Revs and Breakers training staff, and Whitney’s appraisal of her Fall semester interns for the Engen Foundation. And that jogged something in the lawyer’s mind.

“Hey, I know what I keep forgetting to ask you about” she focused on the birthday girl who was sitting at the end of the table enjoying her beer and her party immensely.

“What?” Ashlyn cocked her head inquisitively.

“I know I’m a little out of the loop” the lawyer dropped her eyes for a quick second, embarrassed that she hadn’t kept up with something that had been so important to the Kriegers at the beginning of the year.

Ashlyn caught her best friend’s eyes as soon as they popped up again. She locked eyes and raised one eyebrow halfway as if to say, in a very gentle way, ‘Whitney Elizabeth Engen Flanagan – do not for one second feel bad about spending your time taking care of your mom. You’re right where you’re supposed to be and we all know it.’ Then she used her voice.

“What loop? Is there even a loop anymore” Ashlyn chuckled. “I barely know what’s going on around here half the time myself!”

Whitney gave her bestie an appreciative smile and asked her question.

“What ever happened to Ethan’s creepy uncle?” she lowered her voice and leaned forward as she spoke. “I know Ethan moved back home right before April vacation...”

“February vacation” Niki corrected, leaning forward too.

“Oh, right” Whitney furrowed her brow. “But things have been good between him and his parents since then, right?”

“Yeah” Ashlyn nodded and smiled. “They just had to build that trust back up again. It was hard to explain to Ethan that his dad was just trying to protect him. It didn’t feel like that to Ethan at all.”

“Pretty confusing for a 15-year old kid to understand” Dom agreed.

“And what about his uncle?” Whitney circled back to her original question. “I helped Sam find a good estate lawyer but then lost track of it all.”

“Sam got all the paperwork done and filed everything he was supposed to file” Ashlyn started to recap the drama to everyone as they all hunched over and spoke in low voices. “He got the restraining order extended after Jason vandalized the house...”

“Sam’s house or their parents’ house?” Whitney’s eyebrows were both up high at the news.

“Both actually” the keeper rolled her eyes. “And he went back to the high school...”

“No he didn’t!” Whitney whisper-yelled. “What an absolute idiot.”

“They didn’t arrest him though. But Sam was right about his brother” Ashlyn smiled.

“How?” Niki asked.

“He knew Jason would screw up again. It was just a matter of time. He didn’t have a job, no income, he was crashing on an old friend’s couch who didn’t really want him there in the first place...”

“What could possibly go wrong?” Dom quipped and they all laughed again.

“So what did he do?” Whitney’s eyebrows were still up in anticipation.

“He broke into the pizzeria” Julie answered slowly and clearly. “He didn’t know that Sam had cameras installed there as soon as he heard his brother was out of prison.”

“So the whole thing’s on video and there’s not a damned thing Jason can do to fight it” Ashlyn grinned.

“When was this?” Niki shook her head in disbelief.

“I don’t know” Ashlyn looked at Julie and the two neighbors squinted at each other as they tried to remember the timing of things. “End of April?”

“No, it wasn’t until after Memorial Day” Julie replied. “I remember seeing him at the Memorial Day parade and wondering what kind of trouble he was going to get into.”

“Right, right” the keeper nodded quickly. “So, early June-ish.”

“That’s a parole violation” it was Whitney’s turn to smile broadly. “And I assume he got sent back to prison?”

“You assume correctly, counselor” Ashlyn used a botched British accent that made everybody laugh.

“But this time, even if he does manage to get out again, he won’t be able to use any part of his family’s story to help him” Julie added as they all leaned back in their seats again, relieved to hear the outcome of the sad story. “Sam’s lawyer got everything filed so that the government knows Jason doesn’t have any claim to any part of their lives. Sam basically disowned him, once and for all.”

“And Ethan was ok with all of that?” Whitney’s eyes flashed with concern. Ethan was practically a Krieger and everyone in the four-families liked the boy and felt protective of him. 

“He was” Ashlyn nodded. “He is. He finally got to see the real Jason Machado and that’s how he knew his dad had been doing what he thought was right all along.”

“What a shitty thing to have to go through though, poor kid” Dom shook his head sadly.

“He’s lucky there were good people around to help him get through it” Niki reached over and squeezed Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Here’s to good people and good friends” she lifted her beer in a toast that everybody joined.

“And to good neighbors” Ashlyn added with a wink at Julie. “Cheers!”

After a few more minutes of friendly chatter about Ashlyn’s whirlwind day of mini-birthday celebrations from all across her world, a small voice crept into the room from the semi-dark front parlor. It was still not a room where everyone was welcome because most of the family heirlooms and keepsakes from the keeper’s Grandma Lilian and Grandpa John were kept there. From Ashlyn’s seat at the end of the table, the end nearest the exterior wall and the side yard behind it, there were two entrances into the front parlor, to her right. Both were equipped with a wooden, pocket door that disappeared into the wall when it was slid open. The entrance by Ashlyn was almost never used and the door panel there was always in the closed position. The entrance that was used almost exclusively between the front parlor and the dining room was at the head of the table, near the interior of the house, and the other doorway into the front hallway and the half bath and the door down to the basement. This pocket door between the dining room and the front parlor was always open and equipped with a gate to keep the dogs out of the protected room.

“Mama?” the tentative voice sounded again as the pocket door slid open near Ashlyn’s end of the table.

Everyone turned to see Lily’s face in the one-foot opening, but the usual carefree smile wasn’t there. The girl wasn’t crying or upset, but she looked...concerned and anxious. Ashlyn frowned as she put her beer bottle down on the table in front of her. She didn’t panic but she knew something wasn’t right. Just as Niki began to tease Lily for sneaking up on them, the keeper cocked her head at the girl and gave her a slightly confused smile.

“Ninja move of the night so far” Niki laughed. “That takes Maddox scaring the crap out of Becca out of the running” she joked and the others laughed with her. Everybody except Ashlyn.

“What’s up Sweetpea?”

But Lily didn’t respond. She pulled her head back from the opening and gave her mother the come hither gesture, wiggling her index finger quickly to communicate the urgency of the situation.

“You ok?” Ashlyn asked once she had joined her daughter in the front parlor, safely out of view of everybody else. She studied the girl’s worried face and as she reached her hand out to give her blonde curls a reassuring tousle, Lily grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the front of the house. “Whoa, what’s the matter honey?” the keeper’s voice revealed her own anxiety rising as she followed quickly.

But Lily didn’t say anything as they stepped over the gate at the front end of the front parlor, into the front hall by the front door. She didn’t say anything as she led her Mama up the front stairs and down the second-floor hallway towards her bedroom. They passed Penny who was on her way out of the girls’ bathroom, nearly knocking her down in their haste.

“Lily, what is going on?” Ashlyn asked again when they finally reached Lily’s bedroom and closed the door behind them. This time the keeper’s growing unease made her voice sound serious and stern.

“Ummm...” Lily stood in front of her mother, eyes down, awkwardly shifting her weight from foot to foot as she chewed on her bottom lip and tried to find the bravery to speak.

Ashlyn felt her heart start to pound as she took in the sight of her 12-1/2 year old daughter. Her little mini-me. Lily was the same height and general build as her twin brother, but their bodies had definitely begun to diverge into male and female branches of the family tree. Dodge’s shoulders were starting to broaden just as Lily’s hips were beginning to do the same. They were both thin but not gangly yet. They had both gone through growth spurts and currently stood about 4’ 6” tall. Drew was 5’8” now, 2” taller than Ali, and the twins seemed to be following his growth patterns pretty closely. Only Josie found herself on the munchkin scale at 4’4” and already shorter than her kid brother and sister. It had been almost a year since Lily got her first bra and her budding breasts were also almost bigger than Josie’s by now. That night, Lily wore light blue overalls with a long-sleeved Jack Skellington themed t-shirt underneath. Her feet were bare and her long blonde hair was free as the loose curls fell down her back. Her hazel eyes were light and jumpy when they finally rose up for a quick glance at the keeper.

“Use your words and tell me what’s happening” Ashlyn wanted to pull her into a supportive hug but knew that wouldn’t get them anywhere just yet. 

Lily took a deep breath and exhaled, then another as she tried to work up her courage.

“I’m right here honey, whatever it is” the keeper tried to keep the mounting fear out of her voice as best she could. “You can tell me anything...”

Before she could finish the sentence and deliver the warm, encouraging smile she had planned, Ashlyn heard her daughter spit out a sentence so rapidly that she couldn’t make out the words at first. She wasn’t sure if it was her 50 year old ears or the Invisalign trays in her girl’s mouth that made it so difficult to understand her – but it really didn’t matter which was to blame.

“What?”

“Ugghhhh...” Lily groaned and then giggled nervously and then sighed.

“One more time, a little slower” Ashlyn put her hands on Lily’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “Big breath. I’ll get it this time, I promise.”

After another groan and giggle and sigh, the girl tried again, only a tiny bit slower.

“I think I’m getting my period...”

The keeper’s face went blank for a moment as she processed the words she had heard clearly that time. Even though she knew it would happen any time now, even though she and Ali had been preparing themselves both emotionally and mentally for the day their youngest daughter took the biggest step towards womanhood there was, Ashlyn was still shocked by the situation she found herself in. But she knew she had to get her shit together fast because it had taken a lot of guts for Lily to come to her like this. Don’t fuck it up now.

“Ok, well, that’s good, right sweetpea?” she grinned as she pulled Lily in for a big hug. 

It suddenly felt right that the top of the girl’s head came to Ashlyn’s chest. All the pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together for the keeper – Lily was growing up, no matter how hard Ashlyn wished for time to slow down.

“Ah-huh” the girl nodded into her Mama’s chest, unsure what else to do.

“Do you want me to get Mom?” Ashlyn asked, fully expecting Lily to say yes. 

Ali was always the one the kids wanted at their most vulnerable times. Ashlyn was more than welcome to join and was sometimes required too, but Ali had always been the must-have mom for those moments. The two moms had long ago come to terms with the way their different personalities worked among their kids and shaped the family dynamic. Ashlyn was always first choice for the fun or silly stuff. Both moms did plenty of both things, but when it came right down to it, they knew the drill. It wouldn’t have bothered the keeper in the least if Lily had said yes, that she wanted her Mom. But she didn’t say yes.

“No, I want you.”

Ashlyn heard the words with her ears but she felt them far louder in her heart. 

“Well that’s a good thing then, isn’t it” she teased and kissed the top of Lily’s head as they pulled apart. She was happy to see a small, relieved smile on the girl’s blushing face. “What makes you think you’re getting your period, anyway?”

“Umm, there was blood in my underwear when I peed” Lily shrugged and giggled nervously before stepping back further and unbuckling her overalls. 

“Was it just on your underwear or was it in your pee?” Ashlyn furrowed her brow as her mind spun. “Like while you were peeing, did you see blood in the toilet?” she tried to clarify when the girl shot her a look of alarm.

“Nope” Lily shook her head as she pulled her pants and underwear down to her knees. “See?”

“Well would you look at that?” Ashlyn couldn’t help grinning again. “You’ve got your period for the very first time Lil. What a day we’re having today, huh?”

After another mutual giggle and a mis-timed but well-intentioned high-five, the two blondes got back to work on the situation at hand.

“What do I do now?” Lily paused before launching into another speedy explosion of words that left Ashlyn with her eyebrows up high and her brain working fast to try and follow. “I don’t wanna do tampons yet, but I don’t wanna hafta wear a pad either so I’m not sure what to do. I mean, I know Jojo says tampons are better, but...”

“Whoa, let’s go to the bathroom first of all...”

They both heard the toilet flush in the girls’ bathroom right next door and looked at each other for a second.

“Let’s go to Mom’s bathroom” Ashlyn chuckled as she gave out some instructions. The master bathroom was sometimes referred to as ‘our’ bathroom by either of the two moms, but, more often than not, everybody just called it ‘Mom’s’ bathroom. “Bring a clean pair of underwear and let’s tie your hair back so you can see what you’re doing...” the keeper opened the bedroom door and felt another enormous pang in her heart when Lily jogged across the room with the necessary items and took her hand. How could this kid get any cuter?

It was one of the most surreal hours of Ashlyn’s life and she knew she would treasure that time with Lily for the rest of her days. She guided her through using the different types of pads, which ones were for which kind of flow and how to properly dispose of them when you were finished using one. She answered a few questions about what cramps felt like and what to do if you had them, but Lily had already heard a million answers from both Josie and Meg in the past 18 months since the younger redhead had first gotten her period. Lily was far more open and easy to talk with than Josie had been, and Ashlyn cringed inwardly as she thought about Ali’s painful experience at the mall the first time Josie had gotten her period. 

“So how long do I have to wait until I can use tampons?” Lily asked again as they finished up in the master bathroom 30 minutes later.

“Let’s just see how it goes honey, ok?” Ashlyn smiled back as she watched her growing up fast daughter pull her fresh underwear up and adjust to the feel of the small, thin pad between her legs. “As soon as your body is ready for them though. I promise.”

There was a soft knock on the door followed by Ali’s voice.

“Ash, are you in there? We’re ready for cake, if you are. Are you ok? Can I come in?”

Ashlyn, kneeling in the middle of the floor, looked at Lily and cocked her head, letting the girl decide. The young blonde nodded and giggled from where she stood next to the toilet.

“Yeah, come in baby.”

“What’s going on in here?” Ali’s face registered surprise as her eyes quickly surveyed the room. 

Lily and Ashlyn exchanged an adorable, conspiratorial but still giggly look as Ali stepped next to her wife and put her hand on the keeper’s shoulder.

“You wanna tell her?” Ashlyn asked.

Lily paused for two seconds before blurting out another speedy sentence of explanation.

As Ashlyn watched her wife and daughter hug and chat excitedly about the big news, she got more emotional with every minute. This hadn’t been something she had planned on or hoped for. It wasn’t even something she was sure she wanted. She had been relieved that Meg had gone to Ali for help with her first tampon experience. She had felt bad for Ali but been grateful that Sydney was there to help Josie with her first period arrival during their shopping trip. She had been so sure, maybe even convincing herself of it as a self-defense mechanism, that Lily would just go to one of her big sisters when she got her first period – that she never really allowed herself to think about this moment. This past hour. 

But now that it had happened Ashlyn was moved beyond measure. She thought about all of the women whom Lily loved who were in the big old house at that very moment. Any of them could have helped her with her big milestone. Ali was at the top of the list, closely followed by Deb, Sydney, and Whitney. Ashlyn felt ashamed of the pride she felt in that moment and tried to shake it off. But she couldn’t help it. Lily, her baby girl, had sought Ashlyn out above all others and it felt fucking wonderful. Besides, it was her birthday and she deserved to be a little selfish, didn’t she? Her birthday, that’s right. Everyone was waiting for them to go downstairs for cake and ice cream. She knew that there would be a few gifts for her to open too, from her wife and her best friends. But what they didn’t know was that Ashlyn had already received one of the best birthday presents she would ever receive. Thank you, sweet Lily.

//

As October went by, the Red Stars faded and missed the playoffs – again. They had built a good foundation but there were still too many holes in the roster and too many players who didn’t know how to be good teammates or good soccer players. The fans were hopeful for the 2036 season, but they were getting used to finishing near the bottom of the table. The new rookie goalkeeper who had won the starting spot in late September was the bright spot everybody focused on as the NWSL playoffs rolled on without the Red Stars again.

The Breakers captured the third place spot in the Eastern conference, which gave them the last of the 3 playoff spots. But the NYC Power, Lady Gaga’s team, had won the Supporter’s Shield that season for finishing at the top of the overall combined league table, and they marched on to win the NWSL Championship game that November too. It was the first Championship win for the club and they defeated last year’s winners, Utah, to pull it off. There was some trash talking between Lady Gaga and Ashlyn, and a sizable public bet had been placed on the outcome of the NYC v Boston playoff game as was the normal custom between the two friends. Last year, for example, Boston had beaten NY in the round robin playoff tournament and Lady Gaga honored her wager by wearing a Boston Breakers jersey during part of her next concert performance that had been staged in NYC. Ashlyn had offered to let Lady Gaga wear the Breakers jersey at any concert, eliminating the NYC stipulation, but Lady Gaga stuck to her bet. 

This year, it was Ashlyn’s turn to pay up and make good on her bet. The keeper didn’t get up on stage and perform in front of soldout concert halls like Lady Gaga did and the USWNT wasn’t going to be in any major tournaments until the Olympics the following summer. Instead, Ashlyn had to get all glammed up for the MHI holiday gala that took place in early December every year. But this year she had to get glammed up in Lady Gaga style. Ashlyn had agreed to wear a glitzy ball gown with high heels and the whole nine yards if the Breakers lost to the Power, and she delivered on her promise - as painful as it was to both her pride and her feet. Lady Gaga had to approve the outfit and was prepared to take it easy on her old friend, but Ashlyn took it all the way. There was no way she was going to fall back on her 13-year friendship with the superstar and ask for mercy. No fucking way. Ashlyn Michelle Harris Krieger was a woman of her word. And a beautiful one at that. No matter what style she wore, the keeper was still a gorgeous woman and that MHI Gala only proved the point. Her decidedly more feminine outfit garnered all sorts of media attention, but try as they might, her critics couldn’t find anything wrong with her look. She pulled it off beautifully and didn’t skip a beat when it came to working the room for the Mental Health Initiative’s annual Gala and fundraiser. The only person who seemed off her game that night was the MHI director, Taylor Gervasio. The now 44-year old woman had been working with Ashlyn and the MHI for 7 years and was an indispensable part of the organization’s success year after year. 

She had always made Ali irrationally jealous, but the brunette had never once doubted Taylor’s business acumen or ability to excel at her job. Ali could never put her finger on what it was about the woman that caused such jealousy in her, and she was sure that was part of why the feeling never went away. Taylor made the brunette possessive of Ashlyn. It was that kind of jealousy. Ali had seen Taylor and Ashlyn work together in a number of different situations over the years and the younger woman had never made any inappropriate comments or moves of any kind. But she was just always there, so close. Her head was always just too near to Ashlyn’s. Her shoulder was always in contact, and if it wasn’t her shoulder it was her elbow or sometimes even her back and butt if they were working a crowded room together, both Taylor and Ashlyn standing back to back at the center of the group. 

But as ever-present as Taylor was in Ashlyn’s work life, she never seemed to intrude on the keeper’s time with her wife. The director immediately took her leave whenever Ali arrived at the MHI office or the Gala or at whatever place they found themselves sharing. Taylor seemed exceedingly professional and perhaps that’s what Ali chafed at. How could anybody be that good all the damned time? Of course Ali knew she was being childish about it. She knew that she was doing exactly what she had been criticizing other people for doing her entire career – assuming the capable woman in charge was faking something or not being realistic or honest. It was utter bullshit and the brunette knew it. But that damned jealousy made her brain, and her body, do strange things every once in a while.

“She’s stunning, isn’t she?” Ali asked as she walked up behind the director, speaking discreetly as she stood close to her shoulder and leaned in, too close really.

Ali had just come out of the ladies room during the MHI Gala and was about to rejoin her wife and children at their table when she spotted Taylor standing off to the side of the enormous ballroom in one of the swankiest hotels in Boston. The brunette had caught Taylor staring at Ashlyn, who was standing next to her family’s table on the other side of the room and talking with a couple of wealthy, potential donors. It wasn’t that big of a deal, honestly. Everybody in the room had stopped to stare at the former keeper at some point that night. Ashlyn’s gown was sparkly and her jewelry was sparkly and her shaggy blonde hair was just long enough to be swept into a tight bun at the back of her head and secured with more sparkly accessories. Ashlyn practically shimmered all night long and the human eye could only withstand the need to look at her for so long.

“Uhh...” Taylor stammered for a split second before regaining her uncanny composure and turning to smile sweetly at Ali. “She really is. Her new look is the talk of the evening. She’s the belle of the ball.”

Ali couldn’t argue, and she also couldn’t believe how good Taylor was. The woman was unflappable, and it was a big part of what made her so successful in her career. The brunette wasn’t sure what her initial motivation had been by surprising Taylor that way, but she couldn’t help but admire the director regardless of what she herself had hoped to get out of the gotcha interaction. Ali was embarrassed by her own behavior and changed tactics quickly. She started with a warm, sincere smile.

“I wouldn’t call it a new look” she said as they both looked again at the dazzling keeper. “I’m pretty sure it’s a one-time thing. And Lady Gaga better get here soon or she’ll miss the heels” Ali chuckled, knowing how out of practice her wife was wearing heels of any kind. “Once they come off, they’re definitely not going back on.”

They both laughed quietly and let another moment settle between them. Just as Taylor was about to excuse herself and drift away like she always did when it came to Ashlyn’s wife and family, Ali heard her own voice speak again. She hadn’t planned to say anything else, but here she was anyway.

“Thank you for...well, for everything I guess” the brunette struggled to put the words together. This interaction wasn’t going at all the way Ali had anticipated and she was shocked to find herself feeling a true kinship with Taylor for the first time ever.

“Well, of course” the director demurred, not sure what Ali was getting at. “But, what do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know” Ali sighed, frustrated with herself and the whole conversation. She was eager to get back to her wife and lay claim to her, but she couldn’t quell the unexpected urge to say nice things to the hardworking director. Taylor was the closest thing to a current nemesis Ali had and here she was being nice to her. What the hell Ali? “I know Ash talks about it so I’m sure she’s told you herself, but it hardly seems fair that she gets all the attention at times like this when your efforts should be getting just as much recognition” Ali shrugged and smiled again. “None of this happens without you and everything you do. So...thank you.”

Later that night after some patented, irrational jealousy-motivated sex initiated as usual by Ali, Ashlyn held the beautiful brunette in place on top of her chest, in her favorite spot. The 69 position with Ali laying on top of her wife had never failed them and it certainly didn’t that night. The keeper felt bold and confident as she usually did when the brunette’s jealousy flared up. The couple had already talked about Ali’s conversation with Taylor after round one of sexy times that night. Ashlyn had another thought about it after round two but didn’t want to mention Taylor’s name too soon. She was feeling bold but she wasn’t an idiot. She waited a few minutes as they lay there together, blissfully satisfied.

“Soooo, I think I might have figured out why...maybe part of why...Taylor makes you so jealous...” she held her breath after making sure to keep a firm hold of her favorite ass in the entire world, hoping upon hope that Ali wouldn’t move away.

“Is this some kind of con?” Ali chuckled, her voice thick still from the passion that had just raced through her entire body. They had just gotten their breath back when Ashlyn made her previous statement. Ali continued. “You trying to trick me or what?”

“Trick? What? No...” the keeper stammered but was encouraged by her wife’s laughter.

“I get it” the brunette continued talking as she gently raked her fingers through Ashlyn’s short hairs which were right in front of her face. She occasionally slid her fingers lower to play softly with her keeper’s still sensitive and soaked folds. “We have sex and then you bring up Taylor’s name. And then we have sex again because you know how I get...”

“No, I...” Ashlyn giggled at her wife’s joke. She patted the brunette’s ass with one hand and squeezed her thick thigh with the other as they both laughed some more.

“It’s late but I can probably go one more time” Ali lowered her head and nibbled on the inside of her wife’s thigh, making it twitch. “But that’s it, so if you have something to say about Taylor you’d better get it all out now.”

“Ok, well, first of all – I was NOT thinking about her until afterwards...”

“Thank you for not making me ask you” Ali chuckled and pinched the blonde’s other thigh, making Ashlyn yelp.

“Ow! I swear” she giggled. “I swear. Geez...”

“Alright, go on then” the brunette rested her cheek on her keeper’s upper thigh and let her hands trace the different tattoos visible on her legs.

“Well, I think she makes you jealous because she’s a lot like you” Ashlyn stated as plainly as she could and tried to gauge her wife’s reaction from an angle that she loved, but one that was not helpful in this particular situation.

The brunette’s breathing didn’t change, and she continued trailing her fingertips along black ink while she considered Ashlyn’s idea. The keeper relaxed when it became clear her wife wasn’t going to be upset with her. The pause grew longer and Ashlyn’s smile grew wider. She was still charged from the big night, and, although her feet were killing her, she was on cloud 9 after topping the night off with her favorite kind of intimate time with her beautiful brunette. And if they could get through this conversation unscathed there would be a round three too! Talk about the cherry on top of the sundae. Ali’s inquisitive voice disrupted Ashlyn’s gleeful thoughts.

“Do you really think so?” the brunette asked, cheek still against her wife’s strong thigh. “I mean, that I’m like her?”

“I do think so, except you’ve got it backwards baby” Ashlyn laughed softly into the back of Ali’s thigh and then kissed it sweetly. “You’re one of a kind, one in a million” the keeper wrapped both arms around her wife’s butt and hugged her tightly to her chest, grunting with the effort and beaming at the same time. She panted out the last bit of her clarification and relaxed her grip on the brunette. “She’s like you, not the other way around.”

Ali’s heart swelled at the loving sentiment and she pressed two quick kisses to Ashlyn’s mound as she got up on her elbows and started to move off of her wife and into a new position. 

“You’re very sweet” Ali brought their lips together in a slow kiss once she settled back onto Ashlyn’s chest so they were face to face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome” Ashlyn smiled up at her wife who had a sheepish grin on her flushed face. “What do you think of my theory though?”

“I never really considered it like that before” the brunette admitted as she folded her hands on Ashlyn’s chest and rested her chin on top of them. “It makes sense though, at least I think it does” she rolled her eyes and laughed softly. “I must see the resemblance too, or the similarity or whatever. That’s why she makes me crazy jealous – because I could actually see you with her, in a way.”

“But only because she’s a lot like you” Ashlyn removed any doubt or possible misinterpretation. 

Ali had never once doubted Ashlyn’s loyalty or devotion to her or their marriage. The jealousy she had felt over the years had always been directed at the other woman’s, the interloper’s, lack of control or disregard for Ashlyn’s relationship. Whomever that woman might be. Ali turned extremely possessive of her keeper, fueled by jealousy. The situation with Taylor, Ali’s reaction to the woman’s mere presence in Ashlyn’s life, had always confused the brunette though. Now, from this new perspective, things made more sense.

“It’s kinda like I’m jealous of HER, in a strange way” Ali tried to explain as Ashlyn’s long fingers travelled up and down her back and arms and ass leaving warm, tingly feelings in their wake.

“Jealous of her?” the keeper’s face furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, I know it’s weird, but maybe...maybe I’m jealous of how close to you she gets to be all the time. Maybe that’s what bugs me so much.”

“But how is that different from other times that you’ve been jealous?”

“Ummm...” Ali tried to find a way to explain the subtle difference. “When I get jealous it’s always about you. I want to keep you all to myself. It’s really not about the other person. They just trigger it. You know?”

“Makes sense” the keeper nodded.

“But with Taylor...I don’t know, maybe I’m jealous of her instead. Or, really, in addition to” the brunette chuckled. “Cuz I always wanna keep you all to myself” she smirked.

“You do realize that...ummm...you get to see me way more than she does, you get that, right?” Ashlyn’s careful words were delivered with appropriate respect for Ali’s feelings but also with a cute eyebrow lift at the same time. She was irresistible and she wasn’t even trying to be. Ali giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I know, you brat” the brunette reached down and poked her wife in the side before pecking her lips again through a smile. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want that time with you too. I know it’s greedy, but I can’t help it.”

“Well, if you want to come and run the MHI I know some people who can make that happen” Ashlyn teased and poked her wife back, both of them grinning and giggling.

“No, God no. I have my hands full with my own full-time job, thank you very much” Ali sat up and tried to get a hold of her wife’s tickling hands before they got going. 

“No, come back down here” Ashlyn pouted at the loss of contact, her bottom lip sticking out as she frowned and gave her wife the saddest puppy dog eyes she could muster. “Please? I promise I won’t tickle you.”

They took a couple of minutes and snuggled together after Ali acquiesced and lay down again. They were both thinking about their jobs and K-H and MHI and the Academy.

“We’re really lucky that we get to spend so much time together” Ashlyn said eventually.

“I was just thinking the same thing” Ali agreed with a kiss to her wife’s chin. “You’ve always been my favorite person to be around, no matter what we’re doing. And we built Knight-Harris together and we work together there...”

“And you’ve always helped so much with the Academy and you coach there too...” Ashlyn added, loving that they were on the same appreciative page as usual.

“Exactly” Ali blinked down at her beautiful keeper as they smiled at each other. “And I’m your agent for God’s sake” she chuckled. “We really couldn’t work together more if we tried.”

“Except at the MHI” Ashlyn reached up and moved a loose strand of brunette hair away from her wife’s face. “It’s pretty much the only place you don’t get to be. Even as my agent, it’s not really about that there. It’s not an endorsement deal or even like the broadcasting gigs I get. It’s not about me at all at the MHI, really.”

“Right” Ali nodded and nuzzled her cheek into Ashlyn’s hand that was still playing with her hair. “Which is why you love it so much, I think.” They were both quiet for another minute, thinking carefully. “I never thought about it like that before” the brunette continued, “but I really think you’re right, honey.”

“Do you want to be part of the MHI Al? Not full-time or anything, but...you know...whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.”

The earnestness in those hazel eyes took Ali’s breath away for a second. She knew that Ashlyn would do everything in her power to make her happy. She knew it because she would do the same thing for Ashlyn. Ali also knew that it was important for Ashlyn to have something that was all her own. Even after 19 years together, Ashlyn still harbored a tiny fear way deep down that she wasn’t good enough for Ali Krieger. The keeper was convinced that she had married up and that Ali had married down. It wasn’t a big issue for Ashlyn, but it was something that was there. It lived in the hidden, dark place where the little girl from Satellite Beach who survived on food stamps had lived. The little girl who couldn’t get her parents to love her enough to want to stay with her. The little girl who grew up poor and sad and afraid. 

Ali could not have been prouder of her keeper for working so hard to overcome that past that still haunted her dark days sometimes. Ali knew better than anyone that Ashlyn had worked her ass off for every single good thing she had in her life. Nobody deserved more good things than her sweet keeper. But Ali knew that the dark place was still there, deep down inside her wife, and she knew that Ashlyn visited there every once in a while. And for those times, those brief visits to that darkness, Ali knew that Ashlyn needed something of her very own to help light her way back out of there. She would never know if Ashlyn was aware of it or not – the need for proof of her own self-worth, and Ali was not going to ask her about it just in case she was in some kind of ignorant bliss about it. But with all of that in mind, Ali answered her wife with her whiskey-colored eyes full of steadfast love and admiration.

“No thank you. I’d be too afraid to mess it up” she laughed lightly, just enough so Ashlyn knew she didn’t need to try and fix anything. “You’ve got it running so well babe. I love what you guys are doing there. It’s really inspiring and I’m flattered that you would make room for me. But I’m good the way things are. Ok?”

“Of course, baby” Ashlyn leaned up and kissed her sweetly. “Let me know if you ever change your mind.”

They kissed some more and just as things were starting to heat back up again, Ali pulled back and spoke, her eyebrow quirked sharply but a with a playful look in her eye.

“Last call for any other Taylor questions or theories...”

“Ha!” Ashlyn laughed out loud and broke into an ear to ear grin, her dimple popping into view instantly. “No way, I’m good. Are you good?”

“MmmHmmm” Ali nodded and hummed as she enjoyed her wife’s hands ghosting touches near her hipbones. “I’m still gonna be jealous, but now I understand it better.”

“Sounds good to me” Ashlyn smirked as she rubbed her thumb across the wave tattoo covering Ali’s sweet spot by her left hip. 

“Unnhhh...fuck, babe” the brunette moaned as she started to get lost in the sensations from Ashlyn’s fingertips. “Ok, subject closed” she managed to get out before the keeper captured her lips in a passionate kiss. There was no more talking after that.


	17. 20 Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy beginning of the NWSL Fall Series today!!!! Right now as a matter of fact!  
> Pride don't play until September 19th but I'm so psyched to have soccer back! And it's on the big CBS tv channel more too!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter. I loved writing it. <3

The rest of the holiday season was uneventful that year. Meg came home after her first NWSL season and tried to make up for lost time with Charlie, while still squeezing in time to see her brothers and sisters and moms. Ken and Vicki hosted Thanksgiving and Ashlyn drove up to get Cousin Jeremiah this time, rather than have him miss half the day on a bus. Mike Harris and Tammye and Carol Lanier made the trip North for the turkey holiday that year too, which was always a nice surprise. As the kids got older, it became more and more difficult to control their schedules. That made it almost impossible to plan family trips without a tremendous amount of chaos and uproar. Ali and Ashlyn tried hard to focus on the most important trips and let the other ones go. It was a solid plan, but still very difficult to execute.

Drew’s Junior Driver’s license helped the two moms quite a bit. Having the 16-1/2 year old drop off and pick up his siblings was a big plus for Ashlyn and Ali. And it became a negotiation commodity between Drew and his parents very quickly. The restrictions of the Junior Driver’s license kept teenagers at least a bit safer and more under control. But it was still a frightening thought to have your kid out driving around on his own. The state law allowed Drew to drive from 5am to midnight without any parental accompaniment. Drew had to complete a driver’s education course, 40 hours of supervised driving with a parent who had also taken a 2-hour driver’s education course, take an eye exam, and pass a road test in order to get that Junior Driver’s license. And all of that could only be started once he had successfully driven on his learner’s permit for 6 months, without incident. If there had been any kind of accident or driving infraction during the learner’s permit stage, Drew would have had to wait another 6 months for the second stage of his learner’s permit rules.

It was a complex system but it had been designed with the personal safety of everybody in mind. Drew’s biggest complaint about the Junior Driver’s license was that he wasn’t allowed to have anybody under the age of 18, other than immediate family members, in the car with him for the first 6 months. The ‘no cell phone’ rule was strictly enforced too and it was the teenager’s next biggest complaint. The license would be taken away from any Junior driver as soon as any driving law was broken. The Junior Driver’s license was good for 5 years. The plastic card was significantly bigger in size than regular adult licenses and it was in a vertical shape to help further distinguish it from the real thing. The Junior license automatically turned into a full driver’s license when Drew turned 18 years old, and if he had a clean driving record. Then, when he turned 21, he could go to the RMV and get his full, adult license in the normal horizontal size and shape that everybody was used to seeing.

Both Ashlyn and Ali had helped their son with the requirements for his Junior license. They had both spent time teaching him to drive with his learner’s permit and fulfilling those 40 hours of supervised driving. Luckily, both moms were like-minded about the task and responsibility. It was a big deal and they wanted to make sure Drew understood that as well as learned the skills required to be a good driver. Because of work schedules and commute times, Ashlyn ended up doing most of the hands-on driving with him. Ali did as much as she could on the weekends and it seemed to be a good combination for the boy. The brunette was a much calmer driver than her anxious wife and Drew often told her how stressful it could be driving with Ashlyn. The family had long teased the keeper about her habit of narrating what other drivers were doing wrong whenever she was in the car with them, whether as a driver or a passenger. In an odd way, it had helped the kids learn the rules of the road faster than their peers and they were grateful in their own way.

With his new driving ability, Drew was tasked with running simple errands as well as shuttling his siblings around Gloucester and Rockport. He didn’t drive Josie to or from Andover because that was farther than either of his moms wanted him to go. Driving on the highway was not something any parent wanted their new driver to be doing right away. That was something to be worked up to. When Ali and Ashlyn felt like Drew had a good feel for driving on local roads, then and only then would they consider expanding his driving perimeter. All of his friends had similar restrictions. A couple of kids weren’t even allowed to drive to Rockport – they had to remain strictly in Gloucester. 

“So here’s the deal” Ashlyn explained in early December once Drew’s Junior Driver’s license had arrived in the mail. 

She and Ali were laying out their plans for adding a third car to the family and were very aware that they were setting precedent for the other 3 kids to follow. Everybody at the nook table listened intently that Sunday evening. It was a rare night that all 6 of them were home and eating dinner together. They still tried very hard to make that happen on Sunday nights.

“Mom and I are going to get another car...”

The kids all interrupted at the same time, cheering excitedly and even throwing out some suggestions about what kind of fancy new car they should buy. Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a look that was full of amusement that they hoped was properly hidden behind thoughtful severity. It took several minutes for the kids to simmer down.

“Yeah, no we’re not getting a new car” Ashlyn shook her head and gave a good-natured eye roll.

“But...” Drew began but stopped when Ali quirked an eyebrow his way.

“Do you guys wanna hear the plan or not?” the brunette asked as she scanned the four excited faces around the table.

“We’re going to get a used car, but still a good, safe car so that Drew can drive it now that he’s got his license” Ashlyn offered after the yeses that followed Ali’s question.

“Aw, Mama...”  
“That sucks.”  
“But a new one would be so much safer.”  
“Really? Used?”

“Or we could get no car at all and keep things...” Ali bristled at the ingratitude.

“No, no...used is great...” Drew spoke quickly as he gave his siblings death stares that silenced them all.

“That’s better” Ashlyn smiled.

“To be very clear, this is our car, Mama’s and mine” the brunette continued. “We will allow you to use it or not, depending on a few things.”

“You have to keep your grades up” Ashlyn picked up the conversation, focusing on Drew but delivering the message for all the kids to understand. “You have to get all of your chores done around the house and that includes making your bed every day and cleaning your room. You have to get your instrument practice done...”

“But I’m not in band anymore” Drew gave his mother a quizzical look.

“Well if you change your mind and decide to play trumpet again next year...” Ashlyn replied, but looked at the other kids who were all still very much enjoying playing their instruments in band.

“The point is, we decide when you may borrow our car” Ali spelled it out for them. “And we decide if you’re pulling your weight around here or not and that is how you earn the privilege of driving our car.”

All four kids looked at each other, gauging how to take the news. They knew their moms were serious about the proposition, but they weren’t sure how to react to it.

“But you’re gonna make me drive them all over the place too” Drew gave it a shot, glancing at his siblings. “That’s not really fair...”

“We’re going to ASK you to help us get some things done now that you can drive” Ashlyn cut him off but her voice was steady and calm. “Yes. That’s right. But that’s part of the responsibility that comes with getting your license and driving our car.”

“But you both have your own cars already” Drew tried again.

“Yes we do. And we don’t need another car, do we Mama?” Ali responded with a sweet smile at her wife.

“No, I know, but it’s not fair to like...I don’t know, hold it over my head like that” Drew made his final attempt at negotiating terms he had absolutely no control over. “I should get to decide if I want to drive them anywhere...”

“Are you going to be paying for the insurance?” Ashlyn asked, voice still calm.

“What insurance?”

“You can’t drive a car unless it’s insured” Ali provided the answer. “It would cost you about $2,000.00 a year...”

“What?!” Drew’s eyes popped out of his head.

“Are you going to pay for the gas?” Ashlyn continued down the list of expenses involved in owning and operating a car in the state of Massachusetts. She and Ali had worked on it together the night before.

“That’ll cost you about $200 a month or so, but it depends on how much you drive...” the brunette played her part.

“$200?! A month?” Drew’s jaw dropped.

“Are you going to pay for the yearly car inspection, and the oil changes and maintenance a car needs 3 or 4 times a year? How about the excise tax on it?”

The younger kids were giggling nervously as they watched their big brother shrink further in his chair every time one of his moms spoke. Ali and Ashlyn let their words settle for a minute, winking at each other but trying not to smile.

“We’re willing to pay for all of those things, all of it” Ali nodded and smiled at Drew when he finally looked her way. “But in exchange for that you need to do your part as a member of this family. We’re a team and we stick together and if you want to borrow our car, then you need to be doing everything right or you won’t get to drive it. It’s pretty simple.”

“Oh, and cleaning it” Ashlyn added quickly. “It had better stay spotless inside and out if you want to drive it.”

“Do you understand honey?” Ali cocked her head, still smiling, and waited for Drew to reply.

“Umm, yeah” he nodded weakly, first at the brunette and then at Ashlyn. He sighed in defeat. “I get it.”

“Good” the keeper grinned at the whole table. “Then maybe we’ll let you help us pick it out.”

And that was how the used, but still safe and sensible, Subaru Crosstrek joined the family of Krieger vehicles that January 2036. It was a compact SUV with all-wheel drive that was not too big and not too small. Ali thought her wife was being too stubborn about making sure it was a used car. Her deal with Subaru meant they could have had a brand new Crosstrek in whatever color they wanted. But Ashlyn had refused. Her concession was that she allowed the kids to choose among the three colors that were available to them: silver, burnt orange, and white. And if Drew treated the used car appropriately then maybe, just maybe, they could consider a new car instead next year. The kids chose silver and Ali was encouraged by the possibility of swaying her wife in a year’s time. The end result was a win for everybody because Drew had a car he could drive.

//

2036 started out smoothly enough with the usual January doings. Josie crushed her Districts auditions and Drew started refereeing the youth basketball games every Saturday and Sunday morning. Both Edgar Guerrero and Lizzy Harris turned 16 in January, prompting Kyle to call his sister in tears and Chris to commiserate with his sister about his baby girl growing up too fast. The 4-family long weekend up at the Academy campground in NH was another success. But Whitney and Sydney shared hard updates about their ailing moms again. Whitney’s mother had made the gut-wrenching decision to stop her chemo and radiation treatments. She wanted to spend the last 3-6 months of her life enjoying her grandchildren instead of being shuttled back and forth from the cancer clinic 5 days a week as the breast cancer metastasized and did even more damage inside her body. Whitney was devastated but tried to stay strong for her mom and her dad. Her 4-family friends were there for her, as always.

And Sydney’s news was bad too, but it had a sliver of a silver lining. Her plot to get her mom the diagnosis she needed by ambushing the next ER doctor who crossed their path had worked. Dr. Patty Comello coming through again with the excellent advice. Sandi Leroux’s ER doctor took the time to do a full evaluation, citing the string of visits to the emergency room as her basis of diving in deeper. Sandi was pissed, of course, but Sydney never left her side and made sure the painful conversations were had. Ali and Deb were there for both women too, participating like the family they had become long ago. The official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease didn’t come until later in February, but the wheels had been put in motion early in January and Sydney felt relieved. The news was incredibly sad and her mom’s outlook was grim, but the frustration of living in that dangerous limbo hell for so long was finally gone. The next steps would be difficult, but at least now Sandi, on her good days, could understand that she really was fighting a disease and not just getting old and demented.

The kids were all in good places too. Drew was on his best behavior so he didn’t lose his car privileges. Josie was flying high with her music virtuosity and feeling more and more comfortable with her new school and friends and activities. She had started dating a boy named Lucas just before Christmas so she was trying to navigate those emotions for the first real time too. The twins were at the age, halfway through 7th grade, where their minds were exploding with new thoughts and realizations. Everything sounded revolutionary to their 12-1/2 year old brains and bodies. Lily was learning how much she liked having a boy doting on her. Devin hadn’t done a very good job of it last year, but Sean was much more willing to spend time on her this year and she loved it. Dodge had set the bar pretty high last year with the way he treated his first girlfriend, Katie, like gold. As rambunctious as he could still be, he was learning when he needed to take it down a notch or 10. Lily and he still spent a lot of their free time together and she observed the way her brother behaved with Katie. It would become a lifelong problem for Lily – finding someone who treated her the way Dodge treated Katie, and the way Ashlyn and Ali treated each other.

But there were still lessons to be learned and lessons already learned that needed to be reinforced, for both twins. As chill as Lily could be, she was also still quite the prima donna when she chose to be. Ali and Ashlyn had to be careful not to allow her quirkiness and flightiness, no matter how adorable it could be, to be used as an excuse for laziness or lack of effort. Lily was always the one who tried to wheedle her way out of family chores, for example. If they all went out to shovel the driveway, she would float quietly away and discreetly disappear around the corner of the house while everybody else worked hard on the task. Sometimes Dodge would find her and zip a snowball at her as she lay there in the snow angel she had made. Other times it took one of her moms to round her up and get her back to work. The familiar worry that their youngest daughter lacked the conviction to make a decision and stick to it was never far from either Ashlyn or Ali’s mind as Lily moved through middle school. They honestly didn’t care what she decided to do – just as long as she found and pursued something that spurred her on to action and accomplishment. It wasn’t about her achieving success as much as it was about her putting the work in towards...something, anything.

As Dodge’s athletic prowess and charming personality continued to make him more and more popular with his classmates and teammates, the two moms worried that he was going to become that golden boy who peaked in high school and then went on to live a life less than golden from that point forward. Dodge had broken up with Katie at the end of 6th grade and started seeing Abby when they started 7th grade. He had been following the middle school standard that was still in place but, if he was honest, he would have liked to still be dating Katie. 

It was Thursday afternoon, in the last week of January, and Ashlyn and Meg were sitting together in the front parlor trying to figure out some of Meg’s Red Stars contract paperwork. The young goalkeeper was staying for dinner and spending the night, trying to get in some family time before training camp sent her back to Chicago in a couple of weeks. Ali would be bringing Josie home from Andover in a couple of hours, but everybody else was home. The lure of Meg was always strong among the Krieger kids. They had all been sitting together in the front living room until Ashlyn and Meg moved 15 minutes earlier to get their business talk taken care of. Drew was in the recliner, and Lily, Lily’s friend Tahlia, Dodge, and Dodge’s girlfriend Abby were sharing the couch. They were all still there watching a soccer game and playing with their phones while they waited for Meg to come back. Dodge had been playfully poking and teasing Abby for a while but it was nothing too annoying.

“Ok, ok...stop...” Ashlyn heard Abby giggle, trying to keep her voice down and not make a big deal about it. 

Abby had never met Meg before and was trying to impress her. It was clear to her that Dodge adored his biggest sister and Abby wanted to make a good impression, even now with Meg and Ashlyn temporarily out of the room. Another minute went by with more giggles and Dodge’s laughter. Then Abby’s voice sounded again. 

“Stop Dodgie, come on...” her voice was a bit more insistent but still not very loud.

What Ashlyn couldn’t see was Lily getting up and moving to the other end of the couch to put some distance between herself and the wrestling couple, who were occupying the entire short end of the L-shaped couch closest to the mudroom. Lily and Drew, in the recliner, exchanged a knowing eye roll and were thankful that it wasn’t them who was the subject of Dodge’s bored torture. Tahlia had spent enough time with Dodge to add a knowing shake of her head as she and Lily readjusted themselves and got back to the game they were playing together on their phones. But Dodge didn’t stop. He was sitting on top of his girlfriend, who was smaller and more petite than Lily was, but not as small as Josie, and tickling and poking and teasing her. He wasn’t causing her any real pain, but he was being an annoying little shit.

“Ow, that hurt” Abby’s voice rose for a second. Dodge’s strong grip on her wrist causing a flash of pain. “Cut it out. Get off of me.”

Ashlyn sat up straight on the loveseat in the front parlor, the next room over. She had been hearing the tussle the whole time, but it had been background noise to her as she tried to focus on the paycheck problem Meg had been asking her about. But Ashlyn was aware now. As she sat there, motherly antennae up and actively processing what she was hearing, there was another pleading request from Abby in the other room.

“Dodgie, please...stop... “

In Dodge’s defense, her pleas weren’t urgent and she didn’t sound too upset. Her words were interspersed with giggles and laughs as a matter of fact. But that wasn’t the point. Ashlyn stood up swiftly and moved back into the front living room with a scowl on her face. When she saw Abby flat on her back with Dodge straddling her and laughing, her temper flared and her jaw set as she strode quickly across the room to the couch. Lily and Tahlia and Drew just watched her, their eyes wide. 

“Are you deaf?” Ashlyn’s terse words matched the roughness with which she yanked her son’s tickling hand away from his girlfriend’s side.

Both Abby and Dodge looked up at her in shock. The girl’s face turned bright red and she looked like she was going to cry. Ashlyn hoped it was from embarrassment and not pain or anger at her son.

“Can you not hear what she’s saying to you?!” Ashlyn used her free arm and hooked it under Dodge’s armpits across his chest and lifted him up and off of the girl in one powerful maneuver. She grabbed him around the waist with her other arm and walked him into the mudroom before putting him down. She pushed him hard into the kitchen. “What’s the matter with you?!” she fought the urge to literally kick him in the ass and all the way towards the backstairs which is where she was steering him.

“Mama, what the hell?” Dodge croaked out, his eyes full of shock and anger but quickly being replaced by fear. His mother was furious with him and he had no idea why.

“Get upstairs” Ashlyn instructed through clenched teeth, scowl still filling her angry face. “Move it!”

When they had both made it into Dodge’s bedroom, Ashlyn closed the door behind her and tried to calm herself down before talking to the obviously confused boy. She counted to 10 and opened her mouth, watching Dodge sit nervously on the edge of his bed, his own face flushed and full of about three different, morphing emotions that kept shifting with each passing second. His bottom lip was starting to quiver and she knew he was getting close to crying. She counted to 10 again and forced her face to relax as much as possible.

“Dodger, dude...” she exhaled a slow breath and felt the knot in her stomach start to relax just a bit. She moved to the bed and sat facing her son who backed up towards the head of the bed to make room for her. “Listen...I know I probably just freaked you out, and I’m sorry about that” she began with an apology and another deep breath. “But I’m really really disappointed in you right now. I’m pissed, actually.”

“At me?” he looked genuinely surprised. “What did I even do though?”

The shock in his eyes told Ashlyn that he truly had no idea what was wrong. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It was reassuring to know that he hadn’t intended to be an asshole, so she started with that.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt Abby, but it sounded to me like you did.”

“What? No, we were just goofing around” he scoffed.

“YOU were just goofing around and teasing her” she tilted her head at him. “We all know what that’s like and I get it, but you can’t do that Dodger. I heard her ask you to stop what you were doing at least three times, probably more except I wasn’t really paying attention at first” she kept her voice level and serious. “Did it sound like she was having fun?” she asked after giving him a minute to get his head where she needed it to be for the conversation.

“But...she was laughing...” his whole faced scrunched up as she tried hard to understand.

“She was” Ashlyn nodded, relieved that her temper had cooled and her voice sounded normal again. “But that’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to listen to the sound of her words. I want you to listen to the actual words. That’s what I mean by did she sound like she was having fun.”

“But...she was laughing, we were just playing around like we always do” Dodge tried again. 

He was a smart boy but this was tough for even grown men to understand sometimes. He had resignation in his voice, he knew his Mama was right – she wouldn’t have come at him so aggressively if he hadn’t screwed up big time, he just wasn’t getting it yet.

“It doesn’t matter honey” Ashlyn reached out and patted his leg. “You have to listen to her words, to anybody’s words. It doesn’t matter if she’s laughing or not. You have to know when to stop whatever it is you’re doing when you’re the one in power like that, when you’re the stronger one in control. It’s all on you. All she can do is use her words then. And you HAVE to hear them.”

Dodge wasn’t hearing anything new, not even close. Ali and Ashlyn had been telling him the same thing since he was a baby. They had been constantly teaching him to know his own strength and be aware of other people’s feelings. He was a very empathetic boy and always had been. But puberty was messing with him and he needed another course correction. Ashlyn knew in her heart that Dodge would never purposefully hurt someone else – not unless it was in self-defense or as retribution for hurting someone he cared about. The kid didn’t have a mean bone in his body, but he needed to learn and re-learn what consent meant now that he was growing up. And especially now that he was dating, however innocently. 

Ashlyn took him through the lesson again. She used many of the same examples she had used with the older kids over the years and she added in a couple of new ones as well. As she wrapped up their 15-minute conversation she was glad they were both able to smile softly at each other again.

“Ok, you know what you have to do now, right?” she asked as she stood up.

“Yeah” he nodded seriously. “Not do that again. I have to listen and stop when she says no or stop or whatever.”

“No, well, yes” she chuckled. “That’s absolutely right bud” she reached out to give him a fist bump which he met, even as he looked up to her in confusion again. “But I mean right now, with Abby” she pointed to the floor.

“Oh, right” he nodded and sighed, embarrassed by his previous answer, even though it had been correct. “Apologize.”

“Let’s go” Ashlyn put her arm around his shoulders as they walked to the front stairs and started their descent. 

She thought about letting Dodge and Abby have their privacy for the apology, but then decided it would be better for Drew and Lily and Tahlia to hear it as well. They had all sat there and done nothing to help Abby either. More conversations would need to be had about that too.

Meg, Drew, Lily and Tahlia all watched Dodge carefully as he entered the front living room and walked over to Abby at the end of the couch. Ashlyn hung back in the open doorway and prayed for a good outcome. Abby, for her part, seemed perfectly fine and was sitting next to Lily and Tahlia whom she knew well from school, all three girls giggling about the tv show they had turned the tv to after Dodge’s abrupt departure.

“Abby, uh, I’m sorry...” he spoke fast, trying to get the words out in the right order and feeling self-conscious in front of Drew and Meg. He still idolized them both. “I didn’t mean to hurt you and I hope I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t” Abby replied softly but held his gaze. “I just...wanted you to stop” she shrugged.

“Yeah” he shrugged too and chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second. “I’m sorry about that too.”

“Ok” Abby smiled and blushed as Dodge let out a relieved sigh and smiled back.

Meg kicked the back of the recliner from her spot next to it at the end of the couch.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry too” Drew said as he spun the chair around to face the rest of the room. It was hard to tell who he was talking to and Ashlyn was about to ask what was going on until she caught the look Meg gave her.

“For what?” Meg prompted him, annoyed that he couldn’t do better on his own.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything Abby. I should have told him to stop.”

Meg turned her head and lifted an eyebrow at Lily.

“I’m sorry too” the young blonde managed to say, but not without her patented nervous giggle. “I should have told him too.”

“Me too” Tahlia added shyly.

Ashlyn felt her heart swell, even as the kids got back to their normal half-snark, half-adorable interactions in the next breath. Leave it to Meg to be the best big sister in the entire world. She’s probably the only person besides Ali who could have gotten Drew to sit there and wait for Dodge to come back down to make his own apology. It took several months for Dodge to understand why he had teased Abby so much that afternoon and been so deaf to her objections, but his Mama had a pretty good idea that same day. Ashlyn could tell that Dodge didn’t like Abby as much as he liked Katie. She had never seen her son treat anybody or anything as well as he had treated Katie last year. Somewhere deep down he was wishing that Abby was still Katie. Ashlyn wasn’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, but she could tell misplaced aggression when she saw it, or the beginnings of it anyway. Dodge was upset with himself for breaking up with Katie and he was taking it out on poor Abby, in tiny ways. Nobody ever saw Dodge being anything less than sweet with Abby again so the afternoon lesson had been a success. Hopefully Drew, Lily, Tahlia, and Abby learned from it too.

//

“You ready for this, Florida girl?” Ali quirked her eyebrow at her wife and giggled. Ashlyn was bundled up like the kid from ‘A Christmas Story’ – Ralphie’s kid brother who was wrapped in so much warm outerwear that he couldn’t get up after falling down.

“I was born ready sweetheart” the keeper winked back with a smirk.

She looked ridiculous but the weather 90 miles Northwest of Montreal, Quebec was absolutely frigid that February. It was one of the coldest snaps Eastern Canada had seen in over a decade and it had arrived shortly before Ali and Ashlyn did for their long weekend getaway. It was Friday afternoon, February 8th, and Ali had surprised Ashlyn with a reservation at a winter treehouse hotel for their 20th February anniversary. As much as the keeper loved everything about the beach, she had finally admitted to a passionate appreciation for forests. Ashlyn had told her wife about a recurring dream where she was walking through a thickly wooded forest, everything covered in two feet of fresh snow. She’d been having the dream ever since she moved to the big old house back in 2015. Over the years it had changed a bit here and there – sometimes somebody else was walking beside her, sometimes it was a sunny day with sunlight glinting off the snow, sometimes she was walking through a blinding blizzard. The constants, aside from the blizzard which made it impossible, were that she was happy and cold and that she loved the heavy silence that was disturbed only by the crunching snow with each footstep she took.

Ali had been waiting for the right time to plan a snow treehouse trip for the two of them, but, as usual, there never seemed to be a good time to do it. So she decided if it hadn’t happened by the time their 20th February anniversary rolled around in 2036 that she would make sure they made it happen then. The brunette was afraid that her warm weather loving wife wasn’t really going to like sleeping in a tiny treehouse hotel cabin for two nights in the freezing cold, even though she felt joyous about it in her dream. Ashlyn didn’t like the cold. She never had and she never would. It was a risky surprise but Ali went for it and hoped for the best as she finalized the arrangements in early December.

“So, do you wanna drive or...” the brunette flashed her megawatt smile as she nodded at the snowmobile waiting for them outside the main lodge.

There was a sturdy toboggan tied to the back of the snowmobile and it was stocked with their carry-on bags, their sleeping bags, the provisions they would eat and drink for the three days, the snowshoes and cross-country skis they had rented, and firewood for the wood stove that would heat the treehouse cabin.

“You know it” Ashlyn smiled and Ali knew her dimple had appeared but she couldn’t see it because of the scarf wrapped high around her wife’s face. “You know where we’re going though, right?” she added with an eeek face, just to be sure.

As was so typical of the couple, Ashlyn had let her excitement distract her from the lodge manager’s instructions, relying instead on her beautiful brunette to pay attention to the directions and the rules and regulations. And, as usual, Ali didn’t mind. She didn’t care about anything other than the fact that her wife seemed to love the anniversary surprise. That was all the brunette had asked for. She would do everything else, gladly.

Ali sassed back “You know it babe” as she walked past the blonde and out the door into the arctic air. 

The original plan had been to snowshoe the 3 miles from the lodge to their tiny treehouse cabin, pulling the toboggan behind them across the thick, slick snow. But because it was already 3pm there wouldn’t be enough time to make that walk before it got dark. The lodge manager had also decided it was too cold that weekend anyway. It was only in the teens after all, and the temperature would drop sharply once the sun started to go down. The only good news about the frigid forecast was that everything was calm and still – no freezing blasts of cold Canadian wind were expected for several days. There wasn’t even snow in the forecast, but when it was that cold even the slightest bit of precipitation would definitely come down as snow. The lodge manager was so worried about the cold temperatures that weekend that she had members of her small staff bring out a full toboggan of firewood to each of the 5 treehouse cabins at no charge. It had been loaded into each tiny treehouse cabin with the other basics that the lodge provided – mattresses, dish and hand towels, butane for the cooking stove in the tiny kitchenette, drinking water, and toilet paper for the small outhouse located near each treehouse. 

Ali was not a big fan of camping but Ashlyn had long bragged about what a great camper she was. The facts of several failed camping attempts of many different kinds over the past 15 years never deterred her from making the claim though. These tiny treehouse cabins were very rustic and barebones and really freaking small. It was everything that Ashlyn had always said she wanted. The 5 treehouses were separated by about a mile each way, and they were all located at the end of separate trails. There were two bigger treehouse cabins, and the other three were all the same small size – just like the one Ali had reserved for the weekend. There were several hotels that offered treehouse cabins for rent, but most of them simply built small cabins up on stilts and called it a day. It required extra research to find true treehouses that were built up in and around actual trees in the forest. Ali’s quest had taken her all the way up to the lodge on a large lake, lac du Cordon, an hour and a half northwest of Montreal, Quebec.

The tiny treehouse cabin they shared that weekend was 14’ by 14’ and had no running water or electricity. There was the outhouse near the treehouse and then there was a full bathroom and shower room at the lodge that you could use anytime you wanted during the day. You also didn’t have to cook your own food if you didn’t want to. There wasn’t any concierge or delivery service though. If you wanted to pay for the meal that the lodge was preparing you had to go to the lodge and eat it. Ali and Ashlyn were pretty sure that’s what they were going to do, but they had purchased a few things to bring to the treehouse just in case they didn’t feel like leaving. The treehouse was rustic looking and Ashlyn loved it, in all its simplicity, as soon as Ali had shown her pictures of it at the airport. When you climbed the stairs up the side of the structure the frozen lake was off to your right. The building itself was pretty basic. It wasn’t a work of art in any way, shape or form. The full glass door opened in from the stairs and small 3’ square deck that connected the stairs to the treehouse. Once inside, the lake view on the right was maximized by having the kitchenette counter along the right wall with 4 windows spaced out along that wall. At the end of the 6’ kitchenette counter was a set of bunkbeds that ran along the wall opposite the door. They were 5’ wide full-size bunkbeds that would sleep 4 people total. They were designed so that your feet were pointed at the lake so you could see out the window and admire the view of the impossibly dark night – as long as you weren’t on the bottom bunk that is.

Behind the head of the bunkbeds and taking up the rest of the far wall was the firewood storage closet and then the wood stove in the corner. The left wall, the wall opposite the lake view wall, was where the spiral stairs up to the small roof deck were located, in the corner across from the wood stove. There was a small table and two chairs that reminded Ashlyn of their kitchen table at home, and a large cooler where they would store anything perishable, like Ali’s cream for her coffee in the morning. The small 6’ x 6’ roof deck at the top of the enclosed spiral staircase was just big enough for 2 or 3 chairs, and you had to duck your head to avoid some of the tree branches there. At ground level, there was a good-sized fire pit that was covered in 2’ of snow, and a small storage shed that housed the propane grill and other summer lake accessories. And there was a double outhouse, basically two solo porta potties but made of wood and side by side, just down a path behind the treehouse. It was a 5 minute walk which felt like an eternity in the freezing cold and Ali and Ashlyn found themselves making the painful trips together so they could encourage one another to leave the warmth of the treehouse and to hurry along once outside of it. 

“And we’re sure everything’s all strapped in tight?” Ashlyn asked as she followed her wife out into the cold from the lodge. “I don’t have to worry about losing anything along the way, do I?”

“Oh geez” Ali rolled her eyes and laughed. “They do this all the time so I’m sure we’re good. Just don’t turn into Danica Patrick on me and everything will get there just fine.”

“Aw man...” Ashlyn whined playfully. “That’s no fun.”

“Or... go ahead and speed like crazy” Ali laughed back. “But you’ll be the one out in the dark looking for all our shit.”

The brunette patted her wife’s ass as Ashlyn swung her leg across the snowmobile and took her seat in front of her. Being close to her keeper like that, wrapping her arms around her from behind and holding on, would always be one of Ali’s favorite things in the world. Her heart filled despite the freezing fabric against her cheek as she hugged her wife tight.

Ashlyn smiled to herself for the same reason. “Hold on tight baby” she called over her shoulder with another hidden grin. “Here we go!”

As the forest thickened around them a few minutes into their 20-minute ride, Ali’s thoughts travelled to other times they had shared a similar journey together. Sometimes it was on snowmobiles, sometimes it was on jet skis, sometimes it was on 4-wheelers or other recreational vehicles at The Academy, or the NH lake during their old 4-family vacations. Ali thought back to one of their earliest vacations up North with Niki and Molly and how she couldn’t keep her hands off of Ashlyn as they rode together on the snowmobile just like they were doing now. That had been difficult though because of all the winter outertwear in her way. The most fun memories the brunette had of riding with Ashlyn and teasing her were definitely the ones involving jet skis and bathing suits. She let herself remember back to their vacation to Miami before they were married, when they had gone out on Deb and Mike’s friends’ big boat for a whole day. She had teased Ashlyn mercilessly that time on the jet ski because the blonde had refused to let her drive. Ashlyn had gotten her payback though on the snowmobile when they vacationed in Maine with Niki and Molly that December after they proposed to each other. 

They had been newly engaged with their whole lives in front of them back then. Now, 20 years later, Ali still felt as lovestruck as ever around her gorgeous keeper. So much had transpired between then and now, some of it awful but most of it very very good. Whenever the brunette thought about her life and her love, she felt a number of different, powerful emotions. But the feeling she was always left with, the emotion that lingered for hours after contemplating her life, was gratitude. Ali would never understand how she had gotten so lucky. It would amaze her for the rest of her life. All she could ever come up with was ‘thank you God’ when she thought about it. Now, 20 years later she still felt that gratitude, but it was 20 times stronger now. Ashlyn was so much a part of her now that she honestly didn’t think she could survive even a day without her sweet keeper by her side. Their hearts were so entwined, veins and arteries connecting them deeper and deeper with each passing year, that there was no way one could beat without the other. Ali chuckled as she pressed her cold cheek against Ashlyn’s back. How cheesy could she be? But she didn’t care. She had always been cheesy about her love for Ashlyn, and the keeper was the same in return. They didn’t care who thought their love was too cute to be believed. They knew it was everything, literally everything, they would ever need to get through life. Ali smiled again and gave her girl an extra squeeze as they cruised along the forest trail. She wasn’t even sure Ashlyn could feel it through all the clothes she had on. Ali laughed at her adorable wife and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

// 

“What’s the matter?” Ali’s groggy voice sounded from deep inside the sleeping bag, which had been piled high with extra blankets, in the middle of their first night. “Is it Josie again? I got more children’s Tylenol today...it’s... I don’t know where it is...”

“No, baby” Ashlyn chuckled between her chattering teeth. “Josie’s fine, I mean...I’m sure she’s fine, we’re not home, remember?” she turned her head to the side so the brunette could hear her better from her big spoon position.

“MmmHmmm...” Ali mumbled into her wife’s back, still mostly asleep. “Ok. Love you too.”

Ashlyn would have thought it was adorable that her wife still spent so much energy, even when she was half asleep, to make sure she knew how loved she was, except that nothing was adorable that night. The keeper was freezing to death and no matter what she did she couldn’t get warm. They had started out on the top bunk so they could see out the window at the foot of their bed, but that hadn’t lasted very long. Ashlyn was convinced that it would be warmer on the bottom bunk, farther away from the snow on the roof deck right above their heads. So Ali had helped move the sleeping bag bed with all their extra blankets down to the bottom bunk, kept Ashlyn on the roomside of the bed for extra warmth and spooned her from behind too. Apparently that still wasn’t enough.

“I think if we move the mattress to the floor, you know, right in front of the wood stove...”

“Ugh...Ash...just go to sleep honey” Ali whined.

But the Florida girl couldn’t get to sleep because she was too cold. Or maybe it was because she was so worried that she would be too cold to fall asleep. It was impossible to differentiate anymore. So they got up again and moved the mattresses from both bunks to the floor in front of the wood stove, after clearing the table and chairs out of the way. Ashlyn wouldn’t believe her wife that the floor could be any colder than sleeping in the bunk bed would be, but she let Ali pile the extra mattress on top anyway. She knew she was pushing her luck and it was a minor miracle that Ali hadn’t completely lost her temper yet. The brunette still didn’t like to be woken up. Just because she had gotten really good at it over the years as a mom, didn’t mean she was ok with it. 

Once they got all settled back into bed, their two thermal sleeping bags opened up and zipped together double bed style, with Ashlyn as close to the wood stove as they felt she could be without catching on fire, the tiny treehouse cabin was quiet for a moment or two. All they could hear was the crackling of the logs in the stove and the trees groaning all around them. It had sounded strange at first, but now it was comforting and familiar. Ashlyn thought it sounded like the trees were singing or chanting for them. Ali thought they could finally get to real sleep then, but she was wrong. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep again, she heard her keeper’s small, tense voice.

“I have to pee.”

//

The need for coffee was what eventually got them out of bed the next morning. That’s not counting the multiple times Ali got up to stoke the fire and add more firewood to it throughout the night. Once Ashlyn had finally fallen asleep that night the brunette did everything possible to keep her that way. The battery packs they had rented from the lodge to charge their devices and work the small coffee maker hadn’t lasted as long as normal because of the extreme cold so they had just enough juice for coffee, but that was it. They grumbled their way to the outhouse and back, neither woman in a very good mood that morning. Saturday was their only full day and they wanted to make the most of it, they just didn’t know how exactly to make that happen. It was dangerously cold and the lodge manager restricted most of the outdoor activities to keep the guests safe. 

Ali and Ashlyn ate all three meals at the lodge and sat around the huge stone fireplace with some of the other guests that night after dinner. The hot showers had done wonders for both of them and they had even managed a short snowshoe hike after promising the lodge manager that they were both fit and smart enough to keep it safe. After lunch they ventured up to the roof deck, bringing the treehouse shovel with them to clear off the small space as best they could. They sat there for as long as they could stand the cold, loving the feeling of being up in the trees. The views were incredible, except that there were a lot of branches in the way, but that was part of the charm of the treehouse experience. 

Saturday night as they lay in their bed on the floor next to the wood stove, Ashlyn tried to find the words to thank her wife for her anniversary surprise.

“But you hate it” Ali chuckled from her place curled into her keeper’s side. 

They both wore long underwear and sweats inside their sleeping bag with all the extra blankets on top. 

“No I don’t.”

“It’s ok if you do babe” Ali leaned over and kissed her wife’s cheek. “I’m sorry it’s so cold this weekend. I think this would be really awesome otherwise.”

“No you don’t” Ashlyn laughed. “If I ever wondered exactly how much you loved me, this weekend is all the answer I’ll ever need. You haven’t complained once.”

“Well, somebody’s doing all the complaining for both of us. So.” Ali quipped and then yelped when her keeper poked her in the ribs.

“I’m just cranky because I didn’t get any sleep last night, that’s all” Ashlyn defended herself sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

“Honey, don’t be sorry” Ali used her hand and turned her wife’s face towards her so she could bring their lips together in a tender kiss. “Last night wasn’t great, but look how much better tonight is already. We’ve already got the bed in the right place. We’ve got the extra logs all lined up and ready to go so they’re easy to grab. We haven’t had anything to drink in forever so we’ll probably be able to sleep through the whole night without having to go pee...”

“I love your optimism so much. You’re the best” Ashlyn gave her another kiss, this one longer and more romantic. “But let’s be honest, this isn’t exactly...our speed, is it?” she giggled when Ali rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Well, you said treehouse in the winter with the snow...”

“I know, I know” Ashlyn laughed with her and they both cracked up for several minutes.

“I love you so much Ash.”

“I love you too sugarplum” the keeper hugged her wife tightly. “You forgot the most important thing we learned today and can use to our advantage tomorrow though.”

“Oh, and what’s that?” Ali gave her wife a skeptical but sweet look.

“It’s too fucking cold to have sex at any other time than the middle of the day!” they both laughed out loud again.

“But we’re leaving tomorrow at 1pm...” Ali pouted, not at all satisfied with the lackluster quickie they had hurried their way through that afternoon after freezing their asses off on the roof deck.

“I say we skip lunch then and try it again” Ashlyn wagged her eyebrows. “I’m still keeping most of my clothes on though...”

They laughed and joked about the challenges of their weekend getaway for a long time as they lay together that night. They talked about the kids and reviewed the check-in calls they had both made home that day. They listed off the things they did appreciate from their tiny treehouse cabin experience and were happy to find the list longer than they expected. They kissed and held each other close but there wasn’t much passion behind any of it. It was just love. Sweet, pure love that was the key to any good relationship and the essential ingredient to any long one. As they got sleepier and their bodies got ready to shut down for the night, they shared their last thoughts with each other.

“I think it’s kind of perfect in a way, being here like this with you” Ashlyn offered sweetly.

“In what way?”

“Oh, you know, just the two of us. No distractions. Nothing to keep us from being together.”

“You mean no kids?” Ali giggled.

“No, well yeah” Ashlyn chuckled. “But that’s not really what I mean.”

“Tell me...” Ali blinked softly at her deep-thinking wife.

“I just mean that we started as just you and me” the keeper shrugged as she tried to find the right words to use. “I don’t know how to explain it” she sighed.

“You’re doing great babe” Ali pressed a warm kiss into her chilly cheek. “Keep going.”

“Way back at the beginning, there was nothing in the world that could have torn my attention away from you. You were everything to me, every minute of every day. Even when we weren’t physically together I was still always thinking about you, wondering what you were doing, you know” she shrugged again.

“Me too” Ali admitted with a smile. “That’s why they call it the honeymoon phase. It’s also why it’s just a phase...”

“I know” Ashlyn continued. “It’s not supposed to last. It’s impossible to live your life that way, I get it and I’m not saying I wanna go back to that...”

“I don’t know” Ali smirked. “That was a pretty fun time.”

“Hell yeah it was” Ashlyn gave her wife a flirty look. “I’d go visit that time again but...I don’t know, I love where we’re at now.”

“Freezing on a floor and trying desperately not to have to pee?”

“Ha ha, very funny” the keeper rolled her eyes as Ali laughed at her own joke. “I’m just saying, it’s nice to be able to focus only on you. I like that we have to entertain each other. I love that we’ve been together every minute of our time here, and most of it alone – just the two of us.”

“Aw, honey...” Ali felt her emotions rise up. “I love that too. I love that a lot. Thank you for telling me that” her voice quivered as she spoke. “It feels really good, you’re right. And I don’t know how we’d have figured this out anyplace else.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say” Ashlyn smiled as they kissed again. “This place might not have been exactly what I had in mind, but it’s given me something special, that’s for sure.”

“It’s given us something special” Ali amended sweetly.

They were quiet for a minute, processing the heartfelt words and listening to the song of the trees all around them.

“Can I tell you something really cheesy?” the brunette asked shyly.

“Only if it’s super cheesy but totally true” Ashlyn pretended to consider the request.

“Oh it’s both” Ali let out a slightly embarrassed sigh before speaking again. “You know I love trees, I mean I’ve got a pretty big one tattooed on my side...”

“I love your tree...”

“I know you do honey” Ali was always moved by how much Ashlyn loved the Frankfurt tree tattoo on her side. She pressed another soft kiss into her keeper’s cheek and smiled. “Well, part of what I love about trees is how they grow bigger and stronger the longer they live.”

“MmmmHmmm...” Ashlyn nodded and hummed her agreement as she listened.

“And I love the whole idea of a family tree...”

“Explains the tattoo, obviously” the keeper agreed again thoughtfully.

“Right, well...” Ali felt ridiculous for what she was about to say and she paused to rethink it.

Ashlyn sensed her hesitance. “Lay the cheese on me woman, I’m ready for it. Lord knows I’ve said the cheesiest things to you...”

They smiled softly at one another, blinking their love wordlessly as their eyes told the cheesy truth whether their words could catch up or not.

“It’s silly, but I...as much as this treehouse is not for me, it feels sort of perfect for us too. The trees, they feel like home to me, for us. I don’t know” she shook her head self-consciously as her words started coming out faster. “I see us, you and me, like a tree...in a way...”

“You mean our love?” Ashlyn asked tenderly.

“Yeah...” Ali blushed and dropped her eyes, suddenly shy again. 

The keeper felt her heart pound as she watched the woman she loved try to explain what she was feeling. When the silence stretched on, Ashlyn spoke what she hoped her wife was trying to share.

“If you’re gonna say something cheesy like our love being like a tree...like how our love has grown deeper all these years, like the roots of a tree grow deeper...” 

Ashlyn paused before continuing, happy to see that her beautiful brunette had lifted her eyes to meet hers again as she listened. 

“Or like how our love has grown stronger, like the branches of a tree grow thicker and stronger over time...” the keeper felt a lump rising in her throat as the words slipped past her lips.

Ali watched closely, her eyes filling with tears and her lip trembling with emotion as she listened.

“Well, that would be just about the cheesiest shit I’ve ever heard” Ashlyn laughed awkwardly as she fought to keep from crying herself.

“But what if it’s totally true?” Ali blinked back her tears and felt a smile forming on her face when she saw one mirrored back at her.

“Oh it’s totally true” the keeper nodded and grinned. “And totally true cheese is always ok with me” she squeaked out as the lump in her throat choked her heartfelt words. “Especially when it’s about how much you love me” she winked and they both laughed.

Leave it to Ashlyn to make it ok for Ali to be hopelessly romantic in a decidedly less than romantic situation. Not only did she make it ok, but she even managed to get them both laughing about it. 

“I love you so much” the brunette mumbled into her wife’s lips as they shared one last, long, goodnight kiss.

“Love you too” Ashlyn replied as they pulled apart. “Now hurry up and spoon me. I’m fucking freezing here” they both giggled as they got into position and adjusted the blankets just right.

“Try and keep the teeth chattering to a dull roar tonight, ok babe?” Ali teased as she wrapped her arms around her keeper tightly.

“Anything for you, my queen” Ashlyn pulled her wife’s hand up close to her chest, yawned, and then shivered. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also.....how about Ali and Ashlyn in that Mulan promo this week?! I never ever thought I'd see Disney partnering with a lesbian couple to promote one of their movies. Amazing. And Ali looked freaking gorgeous, as always. <3


	18. Dark Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd say enjoy this chapter, but it's a tough one.
> 
> In happier news, don't forget to check out Ali and Ashlyn on Men In Blazers' IG live tomorrow at 5:30pm ET (@meninblazers on Instagram)

Over the course of the rest of 2036 there were many, many times that Ali and Ashlyn thought back to their anniversary weekend in the treehouse and wished more than anything that they could go back to that strange, isolated time together. They hadn’t appreciated it nearly enough and they both understood that as the months passed by that year. As with any year, there was good and bad. That was life for everybody. But by the end of 2036, the scales didn’t balance out the way they usually did. Not in the big old house anyway.

March slipped by without much fanfare either way. The NWSL regular season started and Meg’s Red Stars and Ashlyn’s Breakers both got back to work on what would, hopefully, be winning seasons for both teams. Meg’s 24th birthday was celebrated by her team and documented on social media which was new and a bit odd for the Krieger family. Everybody was used to Ashlyn being the subject of every kind of social media attention you could think of. But sweet Meg hadn’t even garnered many headlines as the starting keeper of the very successful BC Eagles in college. Playing professionally in the NWSL was definitely different and the redhead was adjusting well in her second season, both to the soccer and the social media fame. 

April was busy as always with the kids’ schools and sports and activities. Tammye and Carol celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary, and when you added it to Ali and Ashlyn’s 20th February and Kyle and Nathan’s 15th later in August, it turned out to be the year of the big anniversaries in the Krieger universe. And then there was April vacation. For the first and last time, Ali and Ashlyn took all four Krieger kids to visit big sister Meg in Chicago for the week. The Red Stars had a 3-game homestand and the visitors were able to watch her play in two games, one each of the weekends they were in the windy city. Thankfully, the school and sports activities were not scheduled during vacation week, but each kid had something extracurricular that they had to miss to go on the family trip. Drew’s was supposed to accompany his AP computer programming class on a 2-day field trip to New York City for a digital programming EXPO. Josie had to miss 2 private piano lessons and several extra rehearsals for the upcoming Spring play for drama club. Dodge and Lily’s middle school lives weren’t impacted too dramatically, although they both missed a classmate’s birthday party. Lily had to turn down a last-minute invitation to go to the latest pop queen’s concert in Boston, and Dodge similarly had to pass on an extra ticket to the Boston Bruins game 5 playoff game that week.

In the end, each kid had to admit that going to visit Meg was pretty cool and worth the sacrifice. But they sure did enjoy complaining about it whenever they thought it would benefit them somehow. They rented a condo in the same complex where many of the younger Red Stars teammates lived. Most of the teams in the NWSL did something similar. They made promotional deals with condominium or apartment complexes near the practice facility and paired teammates up who didn’t have their own living arrangements. Gone were the days when NWSL players had to live in the spare bedrooms of season ticket members or club supporters. Now they shared a 2- or 3-bedroom condo with teammates and got to use the weight room and swimming pool and other amenity services that the complex offered all of its residents. In return, the players shouted out the complex company on social media every once in a while as well.

Many teams had made arrangements to try and help their rookies and younger players feel more at home over the years. One of the ways they did that was to keep a couple of condos or apartments available for weekly rental by visiting family members. The Red Stars had a very profitable relationship with their big housing sponsor so it was easy for Ali to make the arrangements. Hannah Doucette also owned a nice condo in the city, just as she still did in Boston. And, just as she had done in Boston, she bought an expensive one in the best part of Chicago – another excellent real estate investment. She invited the Kriegers to stay with her, but there just wouldn’t have been enough room. It was a 3-bedroom condo and it just wasn’t going to work for 6 Kriegers and herself for 9 days. 

Meg seemed very touched that the whole family had made the effort. She didn’t say much about it during their visit because she was trying to focus on the two games and the daily trainings with the team, but she confessed to Hannah how much it meant to her. And it wasn’t just the kids who gave up things that week. Ali & Ashlyn gave up volunteering at the Boston Marathon, and they all missed the big family Easter at Sydney & Dom’s house for the first time anybody could remember in a very long time. The Kriegers flew into Chicago early Saturday so they could be in the stands for the 7pm Red Stars game that night. Then they all celebrated Easter together the next day, Meg and a few of her teammates too. They watched the Boston Marathon on tv the next day, Meg trying to explain the significance to some of her teammates at the same time. And the Kriegers stayed until the following Sunday, the day after the 2nd Red Stars game. 

It was a cold, blustery week in Chicago – typical April weather, but nobody was deterred by it. They were used to similar Spring weather in Boston so it didn’t faze them at all. Neither Ali nor Ashlyn knew very much about Chicago so they took plenty of advice from Meg and Hannah who had both spent a season in the windy city by then. Meg knew it better than her mother did, but Hannah knew it as a visitor, in a way that Meg did not. The older redhead offered to be a tour guide for the family she had come to be a part of in her own unique way. And the Kriegers took her up on it, gladly. If nothing else, it allowed them to split up into 3 different sightseeing groups which was essential to keeping 4 teenagers happy for a week. Technically the twins wouldn’t be 13 for another month, but it was close enough. 

Meg joined in whenever she could, but all three moms bent over backwards to make sure she didn’t feel any pressure or obligation. The most important thing for all of them that week, even the kids understood, was that Meg got her work done and her recovery done and her rest in. If she wanted to come and hang out with them in their rented condo at any point to do any of that then that was the cherry on top of the sundae for them all. The early season homestand was too tempting for several of the players’ families to resist so the Kriegers were in good company in the family section of the stadium. But as always, there were a handful of players, mostly from overseas but also from far-flung US locations, who didn’t get those visits. In typical Meg Doucette fashion, those were the players she brought to Ali and Ashlyn’s rented condo for a big Easter feast. Those were the players who tagged along on the family walks to get ice cream in the evenings or who came along for dinner out after training. All three moms knew how it worked. They always bought twice as much food as they thought they would need. They always made sure there was room in the rented minivans they drove that week. They always went out of their way to talk with those players, sometimes more than they talked with Meg. It was a soccer mom thing. It’s just what you did.

“So wait, you mean you never had Chinese food before you got to college?” Josie’s face registered shock as she listened to Meg’s roommate and teammate, Brandi Adichie, answer Ali’s questions while the family played mini-golf.

It was the day of the Red Stars second game and the players were off until they had to report to the stadium in the early afternoon for their 7pm game that Saturday night. The Kriegers, Hannah and Meg, and Brandi, were all playing mini-golf that morning before having lunch together. They were split into 2 foursomes with Hannah opting out and walking between the two groups as they moved from hole to hole. Ashlyn, Drew, Dodge, and Lily were in the first foursome. Ali, Meg, Josie, and Brandi in the second. Teams had been drawn randomly and there was no arguing about it. 

“Nope” Brandi replied with a shy giggle as they watched Meg line up her first shot.

Brandi Adichie, a Nigerian-American, had been drafted with Meg in last year’s draft class and they had become fast friends. They were roommates this season and the coaching staff had made sure the pairing would happen because they wanted Meg to teach Brandi some confidence and leadership. Brandi was a defender with great athleticism, technique, and game smarts, but her shy and quiet personality limited her success on the pitch. She had nearly been cut her rookie year, but the coaches noticed how much she blossomed under Meg’s influence. There was a good chance Brandi could earn a spot on Nigeria’s national team if she improved enough too. She had her heart set on playing for her father’s home country in the 2039 World Cup, but had a lot of work to do to get there.

“I’m from a small town in Montana that you can barely find on a map. We just didn’t have a lot of stuff in town” she shrugged and then they all laughed as Meg’s light blue golf ball banged into the little barn door that slammed down to block her path because she hadn’t timed her shot well.

“Chicago must be quite a change for you then” Ali smiled warmly as she took her turn, steering her pink ball smartly through the barn door and almost getting a hole in one.

“I’ll say” Meg laughed. “She was so lost” she nudged her roommate with her elbow as they stood next to each other waiting for Josie to take her shot. The contrast between Meg’s fair, freckled skin and Brandi’s beautiful midnight black skin was striking. “We both were really. But a lot of the older girls helped us out.”

Ali and Meg both held their breath as Josie’s purple ball narrowly passed under the barn door, exhaling and sharing a relieved look when the ball finally came to rest on the other side. It wasn’t near the hole, but it hadn’t hit the obstacle which was something that always made the feisty young redhead furious.

“Yeah, and then we started to figure stuff out on our own too” Brandi added with a chuckle. “Like, Chicago folks don’t play when it comes to pizza.”

“Hooo, boy do they not” Meg agreed and made an eeek face. “You better know your deep dish from your stuffed from your thin crust or you will NOT hear the end of it.” 

In the front foursome, the topic of conversation between the kids was about NHL playoffs and Lily was a lively participant. The girl had a surprising affinity for ice hockey, but it was real and sincere and her brothers both welcomed her input in the heated conversation about how the Boston Bruins would fare. Meanwhile, Ashlyn and Hannah stood off to the side having their own little chat and looking back at the foursome behind them a bit wistfully. The thing that had helped the two women find a way to coexist, the person who had forced them to learn how to coparent, was back there where they both would have preferred to be. Luckily for Hannah, she would be heading there as soon as Ashlyn had finished telling her whatever it was that she had been trying to tell her for two days now.

“So, thanks for...you know, helping out so much this week” Ashlyn bumped her shoulder into Hannah’s as they watched Drew take a measured, accurate shot that climbed straight up the narrow ramp shortcut tube and dropped his red ball onto the lower level at the other end, an inch from the hole. “Josie’s had a great time and I’m pretty sure that’s totally thanks to you” the keeper chuckled.

“Oh I love that girl so much” Hannah giggled. “Talk about a firecracker! I remember how hard Meg was at that age...”

“Ugh, I know” Ashlyn closed her eyes and shook her head slowly while Lily sent her pink ball flying wide right and careening off the sideboards and back into the side of the ramp. “I mean, I only know the half of it” she clarified quickly, with a knowing look. “I don’t think she was half as hard as Josie is but I don’t really know because I didn’t have to live with her every day.”

“No ma’am, you didn’t” Hannah returned the knowing look and added an eye roll. “You’re right though” she lowered her voice and looked back at the hole behind them where Josie was stomping her foot at her missed putt attempt. “You guys are in for a real shitshow, let me tell you.”

Ashlyn’s jaw dropped before she could regain her composure. It was her worst fear but she had been secretly hoping that she and Ali were making it seem worse than it really was. To hear Hannah, who had raised an angsty teenage daughter already, tell her that Josie really was going to be difficult made her heart sink.

“Don’t worry though” Hannah kept her voice low as they watched Dodge send his dark blue ball up the ramp like a rocket – so hard that it hit the back of the ramp tube and came right back at his feet instead of dropping down to the lower level like Drew’s accurate shot had done. “If she comes to me when she runs away from home I promise to call you right away.”

The reference to Meg’s rebellious escape from Hannah and Washington DC when she was Josie’s age hit Ashlyn like a ton of bricks. Was that really something they needed to worry about? Holy fucking shit.

“Umm...good. I’m gonna hold you to that” the keeper grimaced and let out a small, anxious groan.

“Oh relax” Hannah laughed again. “I’m just teasing you. She’s fine” the older redhead scoffed good-naturedly. “She’s 14, she’s supposed to be difficult now. She’s right on schedule.”

Ashlyn’s purple ball missed the ramp but her shot wasn’t nearly as calamitous as Dodge’s or Lily’s. She blamed the miss on the minor heart attack Hannah’s words had just caused her and did her best to take the long way around to the hole. She realized she hadn’t finished thanking Hannah for being such a good tour guide and companion for the kids that week. She caught up to her ex as their foursome moved to the next hole.

“Anyway, thank you for being awesome this week. You really went above and beyond and we all appreciate it.”

“Just this week I’m awesome huh?” Hannah quipped, enjoying how discombobulated the keeper had become since her talk about Josie running away from home. Ashlyn was always the one rattling her. It felt good to turn the tables for once. But before much longer, the redhead began to feel sorry for Ashlyn as the blonde botched her next shot as well. “Listen, Meg is really happy you guys are all here” she admitted as a kind of peace offering, hoping to settle the blonde down a bit. “It really means a lot to her. She was pretty emotional about it.”

“She was?” Ashlyn turned a slightly shocked face to the redhead and blinked at her like a deer in headlights as her mind shifted from Josie to Meg. “Really? How do you know?”

“Because she told me last night” Hannah chuckled. “She can’t believe you’re all here, with everything going on this week at...home, in Boston, whatever.”

Hannah still struggled with the fact that Meg called Boston home now. DC hadn’t been home to Meg since she started college, but the mom still had a hard time with it. She knew most of her daughter’s change of heart had to do with falling in love with Charlie Applegate, but she also knew a big part of it was Ashlyn and the rest of the family being there too. All three of Meg’s moms had grown and matured in the 21 years since Hannah and Ali had met. And all three of them would agree that they were all lucky to be in their unique family situation. It wasn’t what any of them had expected for their lives, but they had rolled with the punches and found ways, time and time again, to keep an open dialogue about raising Meg. Even though all of that was true and even though Hannah felt all of that in her heart, it still stung to hear Meg call Boston home.

“Honestly, I’m surprised we pulled it off” Ashlyn smiled sheepishly. “But that’s how much the kids love her, you know?” her smile grew as she thought about it and her dimple appeared. “They’d do anything to see their big sis and this trip proves it.”

“Well, you’re welcome for the help. But you know how it is. If you’re good to my kid, I’m gonna like you and be good to your kid too.”

“Yep” Ashlyn agreed. “There should be some sort of scientific equation or theorem about that. It’s an immutable thing, what’s that called?” they both laughed and shrugged.

“I have no idea...”

“It’s true though. That’s like the parent’s creed right there” the keeper continued, joking. “We’ll have to get Charlie to work on that – figure out the science behind it.”

It was a very good vacation and a big part of its success was Hannah. Ali made sure to thank the redhead as well, and both Ashlyn and Ali had the kids buy or make her a card to show their gratitude too. Hannah hadn’t always been so hands-on with the Krieger kids, but now that they were older she found it much easier to engage with them. Of course, both parties had to be in the mood for whatever interaction was involved. Seeing how much Meg appreciated the rest of her family spending their vacation with her, and sharing in her NWSL experience, had definitely motivated Hannah. She had gone out of her way to spend time with Josie especially because she knew the youngest redhead in the family had always had a mini-obsession with her. It turned out that Josie had more things in common with Hannah than Meg did. Who knew? Granted they were mostly superficial things but the two still had fun shopping and getting their nails done during that week in Chicago. Ali had spent a lot of time with Drew. Ashlyn had spent a lot of time with Meg. And both Krieger moms hung out with the twins more than anything else. Plenty of great memories were made that week and nobody would forget the silly, fun, family times they shared in Chicago as fledgling Red Stars fans.

//

May was easily the toughest month of the first half of the year. Without a doubt. Whitney’s mom lost her battle with metastatic breast cancer the first week of May after spending two weeks in hospice care. Kim Engen died on May 5th, with her family around her and in relative comfort, thanks to the morphine. Whitney was devastated. She held it together in front of Becca and Tommy, now 11 and 9 years old respectively, but it wasn’t easy. None of her closest friends had lost their mothers yet so nobody had any ‘been there, done that’ wisdom to pass along to the lawyer. Nobody but Ashlyn who had lost the person who had been her guiding light and most constant source of love and support for most of her life. Ashlyn knew the frightening feeling of losing the strong anchor that kept you firmly tethered to the tilting planet with everything there that threatened to throw you off balance and push you off course. Ashlyn had lost Gram. She knew what her best friend was going through and she was there for her every shaky step of the way. 

Perhaps the cruelest part of Whitney’s grief was having to celebrate Mother’s Day 6 days after losing her own mom. The lawyer did her best to smile through the loving cards and flowers and gifts from her own husband and kids, but all she could think about was how she would give anything in the world to have her mom back for one last Mother’s Day. Just one more. She had gotten so close. Chris Engen, Whitney’s dad, had shared with Ryan that Kim was doing everything in her power to hold on until after Mother’s Day. She knew she would ruin the day for Whitney for the rest of her life if she didn’t. Chris and Ryan and Ashlyn wisely decided not to share that detail with the grieving daughter, at least not for a very long time anyway. Ashlyn knew her best friend and knew that Whitney would only feel added guilt – thinking that she had caused her mom to suffer longer because of the attempt to live longer for Whitney’s own comfort. Later, several years later when the pain had subsided enough, they would share the selfless last effort of Kim Engen with her daughter.

May was one of the busiest months on the calendar in any year, and to start it off so mournfully made everything that was still to come shine a bit less for everyone. Mother’s Day was somber for everybody in the four families. And the birthdays that followed were more muted too, even if only in the pensive smiles of all the adults – more sad than happy, more strained than sincere. Sydney cancelled her 52nd birthday party altogether because she was simply not in the mood to celebrate anything two days after Kim Engen’s death. Whitney hadn’t even finished making funeral arrangements yet and there was no way anybody wanted to do anything but be there for the lawyer. Then the twins’ 13th birthdays, Drew’s 17th birthday, and Niki Cross’ 51st birthday all came and went too. Nobody wanted to take Dodge and Lily’s big teenager birthday away from them, so Ali and Ashlyn moved it to the weekend following their big day instead of the Mother’s Day weekend closer to their actual birthday that year. 

“I’m sad and this sucks” Whitney admitted bluntly as she hugged her best friend goodbye Tuesday night, May 13th. She had gone to the big old house for the small birthday family dinner for her godson Dodge, and Lily that evening. She wouldn’t consider missing it. “But there’s no way you’re messing up their birthday parties this weekend because of me. Got it?” she leveled Ashlyn with a surprisingly stern look as they pulled apart from the hug.

“Are you sure Whit?” the keeper studied her bestie’s face, awed by the strength she saw there. 

“I’m positive” Whitney nodded and gave Ashlyn a weak smile that she somehow turned into a real one after a second or two, finding more strength at the thought of Kim Engen. “Mom would be really upset if we let that happen.”

So the four families muscled their way through the rest of the busy month, always taking extra time to be there for Whitney and Ryan and their kids as the Flanagans tried to adapt to their new normal. Becca and Tommy had gotten used to having their Grandmother around a lot and they struggled to cope with her loss. But life went on. There were smiles and laughs and good times had at all the birthdays, in addition to the melancholy there. One of the best things about that month of May was the way Whitney’s dad stayed present and accessible to his family while he grieved. Chris Engen had a lot of Nordic blood in his family line and that stoicism was easy to trace through Whitney down to Becca and Tommy too. But Whitney’s dad made a concerted effort to let his kids and grandkids see him grieve. He was always the first person to bring his late wife up and share a story about how she would handle whatever situation they were experiencing, or remind everybody what she might say. It was powerful for all of the four families to witness, and it became evident that Whitney inherited her strength from both sides of her family tree.

//

Towards the end of May, life took another unexpected turn for Ashlyn and her family. It was Drew’s 17th birthday on May 27th and the four families had come together to celebrate it in combination with a big Memorial Day barbecue at the big old house on May 26th. It turned into a bigger gathering than the Kriegers expected, but it felt right, somehow. It felt almost like a small celebration for them all to get on with life again and everybody was relieved to one degree or another. It was a typical summer party hosted by Ali and Ashlyn with lots of simple food in the kitchen, games and dogs in the backyard, trips to and from the beach all day long, and a quieter close to the day after everybody stuffed their faces again at dinner and started to make their way home. 

Tammye and Carol had flown up to start their summer season in their Rockport cottage, and Mike Harris had tagged along as a surprise for Ashlyn, Ali, and the kids. The whole Harris clan thought it would be a good idea and hoped the surprise might lift Ashlyn out of the darkness of the month’s sorrow. What nobody knew was that Mike had some news of his own that would further rock the keeper’s world.

“I dunno” Drew shrugged as he sat on the front living room couch next to his grandfather. “I don’t wanna go too far away, I don’t think anyway.” 

It was 8pm and he and Mike Harris were looking over his folder with information on the colleges he was considering applying to later that year. Drew and Ali had plans to visit a few choices on a weekend trip to NYC next month, and he and both parents had already visited a few in New England together. Mike Harris had started talking about how much Johnny Harris was enjoying his college experience and it had inspired Drew to share his search too. The Krieger kids had always loved their Papa. His flashing blue eyes were full of mischief and he was quick with a wink or a grin or even a silly face. They didn’t see him nearly as often as their other grandparents, but that made him the most popular of all the grandparents when they did see him, now that they were older and could appreciate him more. He spoiled them rotten too, for many of the same reasons. He was constantly slipping each kid a $5 or $10 bill, right out of his wallet, for no specific reason. He had always been happy to get on the floor and play with them, whatever they were doing, and it was easy to see where both Ashlyn and Chris got their playfulness from.

“There’s nothing wrong with staying close to home either” Mike gave Drew a reassuring pat on his back. 

The teenager was definitely the homebody of the family and he was feeling some pressure from his peers and from society in general to go to college far away from home. 

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know” he shrugged again and blushed just a bit.

“You’ll know the one that’s right for you when you see it” Ashlyn gave her son a loving smile from her place on the other end of the ‘L’ shaped couch where she had just finished painting Josie’s toenails a few minutes earlier. “The same thing happened to me, but I knew I wanted to go to UNC as soon as I stepped foot on that campus” she smiled as she remembered back to the tour she had taken in high school.

“I remember you telling me that” Mike smiled at the memory. It was one of the first sober memories he had of helping his daughter do something truly meaningful in her life – like driving her up to North Carolina for a college tour. “You didn’t stop talking about it the whole drive home the next day.”

Drew watched the interaction, surprised to hear that his Papa had been involved in such a dad-like thing. The kids knew all about Mike and Tammye’s alcoholism, but they didn’t always understand how Ashlyn and Chris had been raised by Gram and Gramps and then also, sometimes at the same time, by their actual mother and father too. Who could blame them? It was confusing. Ashlyn, for her part, was glad Josie wasn’t in the room anymore because she would have asked four questions whereas Drew just took the information in for what it was. The keeper didn’t mind the questions, but she knew her father didn’t like to revisit his shortcomings as a parent if he could help it, especially in front of his grandchildren. The truth was that Mike Harris had been sober several different times while Ashlyn was in high school. None of them really stuck for very long though. But it had been progress. As Drew watched, Mike and Ashlyn shared a small smile and a subtle nod.

“But, how will I know?”

“You just will” Ashlyn shrugged but kept smiling, happy to see her father and her son bonding over something Mike had never done himself. “It’s like...I don’t know, like when coach gets the right players on the pitch at the right time and you just know it’s right. You can feel it. You just know your team is gonna go down and score. You don’t know exactly who, but you can just feel how right it is. You know?”

“Yeah...” Drew replied as he imagined precisely what his mama had described. “It’s like you know the cross is gonna be good and the shot will be on goal and the ball will move enough to beat the keeper even if he’s in the right position. Like that?” he cocked his head at Ashlyn for confirmation.

“Exactly like that” the keeper grinned. “You can just feel it.”

They talked for a few more minutes about some of the schools Drew was interested in before the high school junior went back down to the basement to play with his new virtual reality headset some more. The front living room was surprisingly quiet after all of the guests had left. Only the 6 Kriegers who lived there and Mike Harris, who was staying with them for the long weekend, remained. Ashlyn asked her father to help her with something in the garage so they could have some privacy and he happily obliged.

“So, I know you have something to tell me” Ashlyn broached the subject as soon as they were alone in the garage. She hadn’t even let Logan or Frankie accompany them, leaving both dogs whining inside the big old house. “I’ve been waiting all afternoon and I can’t wait anymore” she finished confidently.

“What?” Mike’s face paled. “How did you...?”

“Kyle texted Ali this afternoon to check on us after the big news” the keeper answered quickly. “Your big news.”

“Oh” Mike dropped his eyes and swallowed hard. He was sitting on one of the two rolling stools over near the work bench on the side wall of the garage. “Of course. I told him I was gonna tell you this morning, first thing...”

Kyle Krieger was still a go to confidante for Mike Harris, especially if Mike needed to talk about something he didn’t want anybody else in his family to know.

“Well I’m waiting” Ashlyn replied playfully. “Suspense isn’t my thing” she chuckled. “And we could all really use some good news right about now.”

Mike scrubbed his face with both hands and groaned into them at his daughter’s misinformed words. This was not at all how he had drawn up his plan. Not even close.

“Oh, well, uhh...” he stammered and tried to laugh it off, “it’s nothing really. It’s not important at all. It can wait. Let’s go inside and have some more cake” he suggested with a forced smile and a wink. 

“No way Pop” Ashlyn shook her head and laughed. “You’re not talking your way out of this one. Just spit it out and then we can celebrate your ‘big news’” she used air quotes that time on the last two words as she laughed some more.

Ashlyn and Ali had been wracking their brains all afternoon trying to figure out what Mike’s big news was. Kyle had refused to offer anything else after Ali had texted back that they hadn’t heard a peep from Mike yet. Their best guess, after much debate, was that Mike and his longtime companion Lydia were finally going to get married. It made sense. They’d been dating since 2019 and had bought a tiny little house together 10 years ago. Mike still kept his life with Lydia pretty separate from the rest of his family, and she did the same thing with hers. They only spent time together with his kids and grandkids or her daughter and grandkids on the biggest holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas. It was an arrangement that worked for them and they didn’t want to mess it up by asking too much of it. At least that had always been the plan. The only reason Ashlyn knew about the particulars of the house was because she and Carol had helped out with the down payment on it. But now, Ashlyn was sure her father was going to tell her that he had proposed and there was a small wedding to look forward to in the near future. She didn’t understand why he was so hesitant to tell her though. In fact, he had barely breathed in the past couple of minutes while her mind went through the different possible options again. In fact, Tammye didn’t even know about the ‘big news’ yet. Ashlyn had gone right to Tammye and Carol after Ali asked her about Kyle’s text that afternoon. That was unusual too. What was going on?

“Bash, you’d better sit down honey” Mike motioned towards the other rolling stool a few feet away from him, his face grim.

“Pop, what the hell?” Ashlyn felt her entire body freeze when she saw the look on his face. She followed his instructions though, mind spinning as it tried to process the change in demeanor. She felt his hand on her knee, felt the gentle squeeze as he waited for her to look at him again. Her voice was high and thin when she finally met his watery gaze. “Pop?” 

“Listen, I have some news and I was gonna tell you this morning, that’s right” he nodded and tried not to cry. “But then... I don’t know, it was such a great day, wasn’t it?” he asked, his voice clipped as he struggled to get the words to come out. “Wasn’t it a great day Bash?”

“Yeah Pop, it was a great day” she nodded slowly, her voice so soft he could barely hear it.

“Such a great day” he squeezed her leg harder and took a deep, steadying breath. “I didn’t wanna ruin it for you. I know things have been hard for you this month...”

“Ruin it for me?” Ashlyn fought hard to try and get ahead of what she could feel was coming. She didn’t understand what was going on, but she could feel the earth starting to shift beneath her, her world about to tilt. She clung to her innocent hope for one last few seconds. “Why would telling me that you and Lydia are getting married ruin today for me? I like Lydia, you know that...” her words faded away as she saw the tears start to slowly fall from her father’s eyes.

“Aw, Bashy...” he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes for a quick second, but then cleared his throat and looked into those hazel eyes again. He had to tell her now, there was no going back. There would be no good time, not ever. He focused on the swirling hazel and thought of his own mother, finding strength from her as he had so many times before. “It’s not that” he shook his head slowly but kept eye contact as he worked up his courage. He used his free hand to wipe the tears off of his face and then put it on top of his other hand as he pulled his stool closer to hers and faced her. “I’m sick honey.”

The rest of the conversation was a complete blur for Ashlyn. She couldn’t tell you what her father said to her if her life had depended on it. All she remembered from the rest of that evening was crying herself to sleep in Ali’s arms, the brunette’s gentle hands and soft voice lulling her into a fitful slumber. Maybe if she slept she could wake up and find out it was all a bad dream.

But it wasn’t a bad dream. The big news was bad news. The worst news. And it had been made worse by Ashlyn’s optimism and false expectation of a wedding announcement. When she looked back on that night she could see how foolish she had been. Mike had always told her he was never going to marry Lydia. Neither of them wanted to get married, for any reason. Why the keeper had jumped to that conclusion in the first place was inexplicable. When Ashlyn woke up the next morning, she had to hear the whole thing again, this time from Ali who had gotten up and gone to talk with her father-in-law once her wife had fallen asleep the night before.

“It’s bad, babe. Stage 4 lung cancer” Ali held her wife again that morning after getting the kids out the door to the bus stop and arranging for Deb to drive Josie to school. “They found a spot last year and then it went away and now it’s back...and much bigger.” The brunette paused, wanting to give Ashlyn enough time to take in the information once and for all. “It’s spread...to a lot of places already...” Ali bit her bottom lip and tried to keep her voice steady and calm. “It’s been spreading for a year, at least...”

“But...how come nobody saw it?” Ashlyn pulled back and sat up against the headboard, apparently ready to hear more of the facts. Her face was red and splotchy and the mascara she had been wearing last night was smeared under both puffy eyes. Her voice sounded like she had the worst hangover of her life as she tried to shake herself out of her stupor. “How did it spread for so long and nobody noticed it?”

Ali knew the answer but didn’t want to tell her vulnerable wife. But then she caught herself and honored the promise she had made so many times over the course of their relationship. She promised not to treat Ashlyn like she was broken or weak.

“He was supposed to go back for some follow up scans...”

“And he never fucking did” Ashlyn’s jaw set and her bloodshot eyes narrowed. “Did he? He didn’t go back for his scans, did he?!”

“No.”

Ashlyn spent the next hour in a complete fury. She went to the basement and tried to channel her anger into a workout, but she was still pissed off afterwards. She talked some more with Ali, who had decided to work from home to try and help negotiate some kind of peace between father and daughter, but each additional piece of the story and diagnosis and prognosis made Ashlyn angrier and angrier. The lung cancer had metastasized so much that he had been given 6 months to a year to live, at the most. It was in his lymph nodes and his liver and his bones. They were waiting for confirmation that it had spread up to his adrenal glands and even his brain. Mike tried to talk with her two different times but the keeper shut him down abruptly. Her words were short and sharp and her voice clipped as she tried to be respectful at the same time.

“I can’t talk to you right now Pop. I’m sorry.”

She left the house by herself and was gone for almost two hours. Finally, at 1:15pm, she heard her father’s voice calling up to her among the seagulls and the distant sound of the waves rolling in with the high tide.

“I know you’re mad at me Bash, and I don’t blame you one bit” Mike spoke up to the side of the big rock at the far end of Good Harbor beach. God Bless Ali for knowing her wife so damned well.

He couldn’t see Ashlyn anymore because he was standing right next to the enormous rock, but he had watched her seated figure not move a muscle as he made his long approach across the length of the beach. She sat facing the ocean with her knees bent up in front of her and her arms clasped around them, taking in the wind and the salt and the sun as she tried to come to terms with the death sentence her father had just been given and the way in which it had come about.

“I know you’re up there. Can you come down so we can talk, please? I’ve gotta leave for the airport at 3pm...” he paused, frustrated with so many things. “And I’d climb up there too, but...I can’t” his voice sounded defeated. He waited a couple of minutes, hoping his daughter would come down and talk with him. But it was clear that she wasn’t ready for that yet, so he did his best to tell her what he had come all the way to Gloucester to tell her, once and for all. “Goddammit Ashlyn, I messed up” he yelled, partly to make sure he could be heard, and partly because he was furious with his own damned self. “I screwed up big time. I should have gone back for another scan. I should have gone back for all four scans, ok?! I KNOW I screwed up and I’m sorry!!”

When there was still no movement from the blonde, Mike walked around to the other side of the big rock and tried again with similar results. That side was an even steeper distance to the sand below so there was no way it was any more effective than his first attempt. He moved back to the near side and begged his daughter to come down and talk to him.

“Goddammit Bash, I know I let you down, again. All your life I’ve done nothing but let you down. I fail you and your brother every damned chance I get and I feel fucking terrible about it. I’ve never wanted a drink more in my life than I do right this minute...” he stopped and sat down in the sand, frustrated with himself. The last thing he wanted to do was guilt her into coming down. That was something he’d never do. “But I won’t. I won’t drink. I promise you Ashlyn – whatever time I’ve got left on this earth, I will not drink. I owe you that, at least. I want to do that for you. And for Chris. And for Lydia. And... for myself.” 

There was a rustle of wings nearby and Mike thought his girl might have been ready. But she wasn’t. He waited another few minutes before speaking one last time.

“Alright then honey, I’ll leave you alone” he got to his feet and dusted the sand off of his shorts as he faced the side of the big rock again. “This sure is a nice spot you’ve got here. I forget how beautiful your ocean is up here. Cold, but still beautiful” he smiled as he turned to scan the beach and the sea lapping at its shore. A vivid flashback hit him in that moment – he was teaching a very young Ashlyn how to keep her balance on her first surfboard down in Satellite Beach. He couldn’t help but smile at the sweet memory. He felt the pain from his sorrowful heart and winced. “You call me when you’re ready. We’ll talk then” he turned back to the big rock. “I love you Bashy, with all my heart.”

Ali hugged Mike goodbye in the driveway at 3:10pm and whispered into his ear so the kids standing with them couldn’t hear her words.

“I’m sorry she’s not here. She loves you so much though, you know that, right?”

She felt him squeeze her tighter and nod his head affirmatively on top of her shoulder.

“I’m sure she’ll call you as soon as you land” she kissed his cheek as they separated, both trying to keep smiles on their faces for appearances sake.

“Bye Papa!”  
“Love you Papa!”  
“Have a good flight!”  
“Love you Papa!”

The kids all yelled and waved to their grandfather when Ali joined them off to the side of the driveway again. They watched the driver of the car service close the trunk and take his position by the rear passenger door.

Just when Mike had resigned himself to getting into the backseat without a word from his daughter, they all heard a strangled, breathless voice from the bottom of the driveway.

“Wait! Wait!!”

Ashlyn came running up the driveway, barefoot and panting from her sprint home. She looked deranged, panic at the thought of missing her dad’s departure turning her face into a frightening distortion of its usual self. She got to the back of the sleek black sedan and bent over to try and catch her breath, holding one hand up as if it could stop the earth itself from spinning.

“Wait...just...wait...” she gasped from that position.

“What’s wrong with Mama?” Josie asked, the first of the four stunned kids able to put words together.

“She’s ok” Ali smiled and looked upwards, trying to keep the tears from leaking out of the corners of her eyes. “She’s just out of breath. She ran all the way up the hill from the beach.”

“What was she doing at the beach?”  
“Why is she crying?”  
“Was Papa gonna leave without saying goodbye to Mama?”  
“Why is she so upset?”

The chorus of questions came from the kids as Mike walked to his daughter and wrapped her up in the biggest hug he could possibly give. Ashlyn’s face was over his shoulder and facing her family so they could all see the tears and snot covering her face as she bawled her eyes out. Mike didn’t let her go for almost ten minutes. He summoned strength he hadn’t felt in months and bent back and lifted his baby girl off the ground for a few seconds, tears streaming down his face too.

“Atta girl” Ali said softly and blinked back a tear of her own before turning to the kids. “We’ll talk about it in a little bit” she gave them a reassuring smile.

The brunette turned to usher the kids back into the house so Ashlyn and Mike could have some privacy, but before she could even get another word out, Dodge ran over and latched himself onto the hug – one arm around his mother and the other around his grandfather. Lily followed him almost immediately, choosing the other side of the hug for balance. Ali opened her mouth to call them back but saw both Mike and Ashlyn loose an arm to welcome the newcomers into their embrace. They were both still crying, but they didn’t appear to be bothered by sharing the moment. Josie walked over next and Drew followed after getting an approving nod from Ali. He didn’t know what was going on any more than his siblings did, but the 17-year old kid seemed more like a young man as he hugged his grandfather from behind and spoke from his heart.

“We love you Papa.”


	19. Toronto Olympics 2036

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everybody's having a good September so far. I'm posting this while watching the NWSL on big CBS on regular cable tv and Goddamn if that doesn't make me indescribably happy. :) NC and Houston both look dangerous and the Pride are going to have their hands full - for sure. But I can't wait to see my purple queens actually playing soccer!!!!! One more week to wait for their 2020 debut.

Kyle Krieger turned 53, Tommy Flanagan turned 9, and Josie Krieger turned 15 in June of 2036. The last of the Donaldson kids, Micky, graduated from college which made Ashlyn feel older than even the age of her own children did. Cassius Dwyer graduated from high school and Sydney and Dom threw him a big party that he and his friends actually attended and enjoyed. The Kriegers celebrated the last day of school but it wasn’t as much fun as it had been when the kids were younger. It was harder to find something they all wanted to do and even more difficult to get them to stay and participate for more than an hour, especially Drew and Josie. Drew was just finishing his junior year and was driving now, so he always had someplace to be. 

Instead of more childish summer activity camps, the 17-year old worked at the pizzeria almost every day that summer and hung out with friends before or after work. He did manage to squeeze in one week each of basketball camp, soccer camp, and baseball camp, but that was it. Drew had been a swing JV/Varsity soccer player his freshman year, and he made the JV teams for both basketball and baseball. His sophomore year he played varsity soccer and baseball, and JV basketball. This past year, he had changed things up just a bit by joining the swim team over the winter instead of playing basketball. He still played varsity soccer and baseball though – those were his two sporting loves. He planned to do the same thing his senior year, surprising both his moms by sticking with swimming for a second year. He would be captain of both the soccer and baseball teams this upcoming year, his last. Drew didn’t have a girlfriend, but he had several friends who were girls and he hung out with them just as much as his guy friends. Suzy, the last girl he dated, the first half of Junior year, was one of his very best friends, rivaling only Ethan in terms of the trust that Drew bestowed upon them. He was a pretty well-adjusted and even-tempered kid, for the most part. He was still struggling with his sexuality and it became much more of a focal point for him as he and the rest of his friends were becoming more sexual. But Drew was an interesting mix of athletic and popular and creative and his various different friend groups reflected that. 

Josie finished her freshman year at her new, private school and was on cloud 9. She had been challenged like never before - academically, musically, socially, and she had learned that she could definitely hold her own among her new peers, and then some. For the first summer ever, she was too old to play soccer during The Academy’s regular weeks. The only week she could still participate in was the invitational 4th week that was for older, and more talented girls, ages 11 through 16. She had been invited to Week 4 all four years she had been eligible, but it had been in addition to the regular grades 4-9 weeks of the Academy. Ali and Ashlyn were afraid she would give up soccer as the demands of her drama and music interests took up more and more space in her life. But Josie still loved sports, especially soccer. Her freshman year she had made the varsity soccer team in the Fall, the JV basketball team over the winter, and the JV softball team that Spring. That summer she was excited to go back to the Academy for two final years – however shortened her time there would be. She was also already lobbying her varsity soccer coach at Phillips Academy to bring the team up for week 7. Josie had also maintained most of her good friendships with the kids she had grown up and gone to school with in Gloucester. Not seeing them every day at school made it challenging, but there were a handful of friends that she remained tight with all throughout high school. And she spent most of her summer in Gloucester so she saw lots of different kids from town whether they were friends or not. Josie had let her boyfriend Lucas go at the end of the school year and wasn’t looking to replace him anytime soon. She felt like there were a lot of options for her to explore and fully intended to do just that.

Lily still enjoyed going to summer camps and participated in as many as her parents would allow. The whole family was going to the Olympics that summer so there was a limited number of weeks for the young blonde to take advantage of anyway. She went to the first four weeks of The Academy, loving the time spent with her cousins as well as the friends she had made there over the years. She had to miss weeks 5 & 6 for the Olympics but she was ok with that. Lily was still the easiest of the kids in many ways. She was still the glue that often held the 4 Krieger siblings together. Lily was a walking contradiction sometimes and it both pleased and worried her two moms. Both Ali and Ashlyn were proud of her for following the beat of her own drum, but concerned that she sometimes did something different or outlandish just for the attention it garnered. As with her big brother Drew, Lily was still working things out for herself. Leave it to her to do so in her own unique way. She was a tomboy most of the time but she occasionally wore a dress to school just because she felt like it. She liked being alone but then bent over backwards to get the attention of a new friend at school. She could go with the flow better than any of her siblings, but also howl in outrage the loudest and the longest if she felt like the situation called for it. If Lily ever felt wronged or slighted she could throw a diva hissy fit that would make Josie’s flair for the dramatic seem tame in comparison. Nobody really knew what to expect when it came to Lily. She did make some decisions easily though, despite the powerful indecisive streak in her personality. The boys she liked were always easy for her to identify and claim. She was very charming and sweet, and boys found her low maintenance – a temporary situation that disappeared in high school. Lily broke up with Sean at the end of 7th grade and had already chosen who her 8th grade boyfriend was going to be, Brady Morse, by the following week. 

Dodge was as predictable as his twin sister was impossible to pin down. He liked routines and he enjoyed school and he loved sports and video games. He was bright and energetic and very smart. Dodge had enrolled in some of the same advanced classes that Josie had taken when she had been in 8th grade. He and Abby broke up on the last day of 7th grade and Dodge had no idea who he would choose to be his girlfriend next year. He wasn’t going to worry about it over the summer, that was for sure. Dodge’s big challenge was that he could be gullible and naïve. He was a very social kid and he loved having friends and being part of a group. He could be the class clown and his mothers had to teach him early on how to be funny on his own without relying on making jokes at someone else’s expense. Because Dodge was such a compassionate kid, he learned the lesson fairly easily. Sometimes his friends used him and Dodge never figured it out until it was all over. He never once saw it coming because he was, at his core, good and kind and didn’t suspect his own friends of treating him in any way other than as a comrade and a brother. In elementary school some of his friends used him for the cool things at his house – they would go to his birthday party just for the bounce house or the zipline, but not really care about Dodge at all. In middle school he got used for NE Revs tickets and stadium access because of Ashlyn’s connections there. Kids who wouldn’t give him the time of day for any other reason were always the first ones to pressure him for VIP extras at the stadium. It was a trend that would continue for the rest of his formative years – through high school and even into college, before he finally started to broaden his view and see the truth for what it was. This was the same exact situation that Ashlyn had found herself in throughout her life. It was part of the reason Whitney Engen was always so protective of her best friend. 

At the end of the first week of The Academy, the 4th of July celebration fell on Friday that year. The Horribles parade through downtown Gloucester was on Saturday the 5th and the scheduling couldn’t have been more perfect for the Kriegers. The Harris family had rallied around Mike, the ailing patriarch, and were doing everything they could to make sure he got to do fun, meaningful things that summer. Nobody said the words out loud, not ever, but they all knew it was probably going to be his last summer. If not his last summer ever, then certainly the last summer he would be physically able to do much of anything. 

“Are you sure this is what you wanna do Pop?” Ashlyn asked her father one last time as they sat side by side on the extra twin bed in Drew’s bedroom on the second floor of the big old house.

It was Wednesday evening and the keeper had just gotten home from The Academy to check on her dad who had flown up to Boston that afternoon. Ashlyn still split her Academy sleeping schedule the same way she had been doing for 12 years now – she slept at the camp Sunday and Tuesday nights, and drove home for the night on Mondays and Wednesdays. The only two exceptions were if Ali and the kids were up at camp with her for the week, or if she was out of town covering a major women’s soccer tournament which happened 3 out of 4 years.

“I’m sure” Mike grinned at his daughter and then winked at Drew who was sitting on his own twin bed that was positioned along the side wall of the room, at a 90 degree angle from the extra bed along the front wall. “As long as this young man here doesn’t mind.”

In truth, Drew was nervous about sharing his room with his sick grandfather and he had talked about it openly with both of his moms earlier that week. But because of the surprisingly touching reason that he didn’t want Mike to feel like he had to come and go on eggshells. His main concern was his Papa’s comfort and his parents got another glimpse of the good man their son was growing up to be. 

“I don’t mind” Drew replied with his patented disenchanted teenager eye roll but couldn’t help the smile that creased his face. “Besides, if you snore too loud then I’ll just go kick Dodgie out of his bed” he smirked.

“Or you can go sleep in Josie’s or Meg’s room” Ashlyn quirked her eyebrow at her son, missing the quip for what it was. Mike laughed though, which made Drew smile even bigger.

Nobody was sure how or when it had happened, but Papa Harris had become the teenager whisperer over the last several years. He had taken on the role with Johnny Harris and 3 years of patient listening, careful observation, and thoughtful but honest rejoinders had led to the two of them becoming very close. Close enough to rebuild the entire engine of Ashlyn’s old Jeep together with nary an argument or a hurt feeling between them. Papa Harris was one of the only people Johnny called from college with any regularity, Ashlyn being another one. Lizzy Harris was 16 and going through her own rough adjustment to her changing body and changing world. Papa Harris had been there for her as well, although admittedly less confident with the whole teenage girl thing than he had been with her brother. Lizzy and Mike’s thing was Gram’s garden, still standing where it had always been in the backyard of Gram’s old and Lizzy’s current house. They also went for long, often silent, walks on the beach together, collecting shells and beach glass and then comparing them on the walk back. Mike readily admitted to taking advice from his longtime girlfriend Lydia on how to communicate with a teenage girl. Lydia had raised a daughter of her own and then helped raise her granddaughter, who was Johnny’s age, as well.

The plan for the summer was for Mike to stay at the big old house for the whole month of July, and then accompany the Krieger family up to Toronto for the Olympics. August was up in the air. Ashlyn wanted him to stay all summer long but she knew he had his own life back in Florida too. She wanted this summer to be special for her dad, as special as she could possibly make it. It had taken some convincing but she and Beth Harris had finally talked Lydia into coming with the extended family to the Olympics. Deb had offered Mike and Lydia the use of her condo for the month of August too, more than willing to switch places with Mike and stay at the big old house for the month. Everyone was cautiously optimistic that Mike and Lydia would agree, but they were careful not to push too hard. Mike had already made it clear that he wasn’t an invalid and didn’t want any coddling or other nonsense like that. To his credit, he set a positive tone every morning and did his very best to maintain it until bedtime each night. If he started to feel depressed about his illness he just said he needed a nap and went upstairs. It was a good cover because he did need an afternoon nap most days. His body was fighting hard, even though it was a losing battle. Mike had agreed to several different types of medication that would ease many of his symptoms, but he had chosen not to undergo chemotherapy or radiation treatments. He was basically doing the exact same thing his mother had done, except he had told his family a year earlier than Gram had. 

“It’s what he said he wanted, babe” Ali explained carefully, later that night when she and Ashlyn were folding laundry on their bed. They each stood on their own side with a big pile of clean clothes between them. “I told him he could have any bedroom he wanted, all the kids were happy to give up their rooms for him, and so were we...”

“I know” Ashlyn mumbled, deep in thought.

“Just like we talked about” Ali finished and then paused for a minute, studying her wife’s pensive face before speaking again. “I know you’re worried about him...but we can’t baby him. He’d hate that.”

“I know” the keeper sighed and let her shoulders slump a little. “I’m so glad he’s here” she nodded as her chin started to quiver. “He already told me that if I make a big fuss over him he’ll just leave. Don’t let me...” she sucked in a breath, trying to get control of her swirling emotions, “don’t let me do that, ok?”

Ali felt her own heart clench as her wife’s hazel eyes pleaded with her. “I won’t honey, I promise” the brunette cocked her head and gave Ashlyn a tender smile. “I’ve got you. We can do this. All of us, together. It’s gonna be a great summer, maybe the best one ever.”

And it was. 

Mike always wanted to do the big 4th of July in Boston on the esplanade again. Not much could be as magical as that first year he had spent with his kids, Ali, and Kyle’s future husband Nathan, and his friends. But this year was special for different reasons and Mike loved it even more because the grandkids came with them. Ali and Ashlyn had told them the truth about Mike’s cancer and his prognosis. Having Whitney’s mom’s experience fresh in their memories made the conversations easier to have in some respects. But having the dying patient be their own grandfather instead of Becca and Tommy’s grandmother was dramatically different and all four Krieger kids felt it. Ali and Ashlyn told them that they didn’t have to spend all their time with Papa. He didn’t want that and they didn’t expect it from the kids. The two moms knew that the Olympics trip would bring them all together more closely and anything before or after that was just an extra blessing. They had learned, the hard way of course, that the less pressure they put on the kids to do something, the more likely they were to actually do it. 

All four kids were excited to do the 4th of July in Boston because it wasn’t something they typically did. Spending the day together in Gloucester for the Horribles parade was an annual tradition, but spending 12 hours in Boston to get a coveted spot on the lawn and then enjoy the Boston Pops orchestra and fireworks display over the Charles River was a rarity. And for good reason. That was a long ass day. Luckily, most of the extended Krieger clan wanted in on it too. Ken and Vicki, Koty and Briana and Tori, Tammye, Carol and Deb, they all wanted in. Kyle and his family had come up for their annual 2-week vacation at the beginning of July and they spent the day on the esplanade too. Cristina was signed up for her last year at The Academy as a regular camper. After this summer she would only be allowed to participate in the invitational 4th week, just as Josie was doing this year. Almost all of the four families joined in as well, just the oldest boys, Noah and Cassius opting out. There was something about strength in numbers, and that group stayed strong all day long and then got to enjoy one of the best 4th of July shows in years. And then the Horribles parade was the very next day so they all reconvened up at the big old house for more of the same, except this time with a heavy dose of the beach added in throughout the day. It was a fantastic way to start Mike’s summer in New England and he enjoyed every minute of it.

Meg came home for any time she had off from the Red Stars, but it wasn’t much. Now that the NWSL was big and strong enough to thrive without the USWNT players being the only big attractions, the league didn’t have to shut down for a month during the major tournaments. The only weeks off the NWSL had were those stipulated by FIFA, and the occasional off-week that happened from normal schedule configurations. Meg would be joining the family in Toronto and was trying hard to tell herself that 2-1/2 weeks was enough. Mike himself had told her not to worry about anything but playing good soccer that summer.

The month of July flew by and before anybody was really ready, the Olympics were upon them. The Krieger group flew up to Toronto on Friday morning, July 25th. It was the official opening day of the tournament and the opening ceremony of the 2-1/2week sporting extravaganza was that evening. Mike, Tammye, Carol, Deb, Ken, Vicki, and Lizzy Harris – spending a week with her aunts and grandparents before the big trip - flew up with Ali and Ashlyn and the kids. Chris, Beth, Johnny, Lydia, and Meg, and Kyle and his family all arrived in Toronto from Florida and Chicago and NYC to complete the group. It was one of the best and easiest Olympic experiences Ali had ever had with the kids because it was in Canada. Everybody spoke English and it was well organized and smartly run, which made it easy to manage for the keeper of the master schedule. The brunette marveled at how much simpler it was to plan things out now that the kids were older and self-sufficient. It was also helpful to have so many adults – grandparents and an aunt and uncle – to help keep tabs on everybody. 

The four Krieger kids needed different levels of supervision, as had always been the case. Their differences in personality had only developed further as they had matured. Drew was their scaredy cat and always had been. It was true whether they were watching a movie together or whether they were standing in the backyard at night waiting for the dogs to finish doing their business. He had an active imagination, much like Ashlyn, and he was always thinking about what might be out there in the dark. When it came to being out in a big group in public, like at a concert or a sporting event or a Fair, Drew always came back promptly after going to use the restroom or visiting the concession stand. Ali wondered if seeing what happened to Cassius Dwyer at Fenway Park had made her son’s natural cautiousness intensify to an unhealthy level. He seemed like a well-adjusted kid, aside from not wanting to deal with his sexuality yet. But that was normal too for a 17-year old, wasn’t it really? 

Drew was always cautious and careful, even as a baby. Both his moms could tell a hundred stories about him taking a minute and assessing a situation before taking the next step into it. He inherited it from Ali and they both looked at things the same way. They were thinking 2 and 3 steps ahead, always. Most people, including Drew’s other siblings, thought ‘What will happen if I do this?’ and came to the quick conclusion that ‘It will be fun! I’ll do it!’. 

But Ali and Drew’s minds processed it further. They approached the same situation another way ‘It will be fun! But it will probably hurt when I land...’ or ‘But then I’ll have to spend the rest of the afternoon in wet clothes...’.

It helped explain Drew’s resistance to acknowledge that he was gay or bi or some other queer descriptor he hadn’t decided on yet. He was shy and careful, which both combined to create a young man who knew what would happen if he accepted his sexuality and began to deal with it. He could see the next few steps down the road and he didn’t want it. He didn’t want his whole world to change forever and all at once. It was too much for him to try and handle, so he stayed in the protective bubble he had created for himself. Eventually, his therapist had assured his concerned parents, Drew’s sexual drive and desire and his yearning for a real connection and relationship with another person would overpower his fear and cautiousness. But for those 2-1/2 weeks in Toronto, Ali and Ashlyn were both thankful that they didn’t have to worry about him wandering off and getting lost.

The other kids were each different too. At the opposite end of the spectrum were Dodge and Ashlyn. They were both daredevils at heart who jumped right into any situation without a second thought. In the middle of the spectrum were the girls. Josie, and Meg too, were both brave and less cautious than Drew or Ali, but not nearly the daredevils that Ashlyn and Dodge were. And Lily was more careful than her sisters but not as cautious as Drew or Ali. 

When it came to big crowds in public spaces, Josie liked to explore because she was always curious and alert. She liked to learn and understand new things. But she was also preternaturally savvy. Ali and Ashlyn never worried about her getting lost because she was too smart to not see the signs designed to guide her where she needed to go. They didn’t worry much about her being abducted either because she was very good at avoiding shitty people – it was a quality that would serve her well for most of her life. Maybe she learned how to sniff out trouble at an early age because she had always been on the lookout for some jerk classmate or bully who was going to tease her about her birthmark, or her lesbian moms, or her tiny size. No, Ali and Ashlyn didn’t worry about Josie not making it back to their group.

The twins were the worry and always had been for the two moms. Dodge was always on the move and eager to explore his surroundings. Additionally, he was outgoing and loved meeting and greeting people. When you combined that with his sweet, trusting disposition – it could be a recipe for trouble. Lily was very much the same, but down a couple of notches on the scale. She was much more shy than Dodge, and Ashlyn believed part of that came from her speech impediment when she was so young. She might have been every bit as outgoing as Dodge if not for fear of opening her mouth and revealing her stutter. She spoke perfectly now, but she still held her tongue and took her time in most conversations with new people, unless she was extremely excited for some reason. But she liked to wander off and would do so at the first shiny thing that caught her eye. No, the twins were a constant source of concern when it came to getting lost or wandering away from their group, or worse. They were both smart kids, especially Dodge, but they didn’t have an ounce of Josie’s savvy between them. 

One of the best things in the Krieger family had happened completely organically, but both Ashlyn and Ali were thankful for it every single day. Somehow, and for some unknown and unplanned reason, the kids had paired off into duos that balanced some of their personality traits out, particularly when it came to being in big public settings like the Olympics. Drew and Lily had always been one pair, and Josie and Dodge the other. Lily led Drew out more and he made sure they always got back safely. Dodge and Josie were similar to that other pairing, but more diametrically opposed than Drew and Lily were to each other. Dodge and Josie were farther apart on the spectrum in some ways than Drew and Lily were. Those two little duos had formed naturally and given Ali and Ashlyn so much relief over the years it would have been impossible to calculate just how much. How do you measure peace of mind as a parent?

//

The 2-1/2 weeks in and around Toronto were a pleasant mixture of hectic and enjoyable. Ashlyn and Carol paid for the Harris clan and, for once, nobody put up a fight about it. It was unspoken, but they all knew that summer was special and that Olympic trip was a big part of it. It was Lydia’s first time traveling with Mike’s extended family and it was a lot for her to take in. She was closest with Beth Harris but they wouldn’t really qualify as close. They were friendly. Everybody was friendly with Lydia but they didn’t know her very well. She was 69 and they would all be celebrating Mike’s 74th birthday August 6th during their Toronto vacation. Both Lydia and Mike were overweight but not obese. Mike had the spare tire around his middle that he had acquired in his 40s, just bigger now, and Lydia’s stocky build carried her extra weight in several different places. Her body was shaped roughly like a barrel but with big boobs and skinny legs. She had stopped her favored bleached blonde hair color a few years earlier and her medium length grey hair hung down to her shoulder blades, straight and thin. They both looked tired and worn out, in general. Their bodies had worked hard, for one reason or another, all their lives and their wrinkles, sunspots, and weathered hands and feet told that story. But the laugh lines on their faces told another part of the story. A struggling single mom who had worked hard all her life and a recovering alcoholic who had fought hard for all of his were trying to find a way through this next part of the life that they had agreed to live together. It wasn’t going to be easy, but everyone could see how much they loved each other.

Lydia still felt ‘less than’ the rest of the Harris family, which was saying a lot considering the hardships they had all endured along the way. But Ashlyn could see that there was more confidence in the woman now. She could see the faith that Lydia had in Mike and the strength she took from his love. That’s what allowed her to make this trip with his family. She might not be able to come out and say the words, but she knew she mattered to Mike and that was all she needed to feel worthy enough to be there with them all.

“How are you guys doing? Did you get settled into your room ok? Do you have everything you need?” Ashlyn asked Lydia on Saturday August 2nd, once the soccer matches finally moved to Toronto proper after being played in some outlying stadiums not too far away. The Krieger-Harris group had relocated to a centrally located hotel, the same hotel the broadcast team was using, earlier that day and Ashlyn had seen Lydia sitting by herself in the lobby and stopped to check in with her.

“Oh we’re fine” Lydia smiled up at the still strikingly beautiful keeper. 

50 years old had never looked so good on anybody in the older woman’s opinion. Well, not counting celebrities who had paid to look good at that age. Ashlyn had taken good care of herself and those cheekbones certainly didn’t hurt either. It was easy to understand why she was still working on television – she knew what she was talking about and she was beautiful. It was a tough combination to beat. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” Ashlyn paused before joining her on the lobby couch. “I don’t want to interrupt...”

When she had approached, the keeper had seen Lydia staring out the window with a peaceful, placid look on her face. She wasn’t doing anything else, just sitting there enjoying...something unknown to the blonde.

“Oh, ha ha” Lydia laughed and seemed a bit embarrassed. “I’m just watching the city go by” she patted the couch next to her in invitation and smiled when Ashlyn joined her. “It’s really something.”

“Staying in a hotel right in the heart of any big city still shocks me sometimes” the keeper turned her attention to the big plate glass window they were sitting next to. “And I’ve done it a lot. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you.”

It was Lydia’s first trip to a foreign country, her first airplane ride, her first big vacation that was longer than 5 days, her first stay in a nice hotel, and her first look at how the other half lived. She had been wide-eyed and quiet since arriving 10 days earlier. She was fascinated and overwhelmed and Ashlyn knew it.

“I feel like I’m watching a movie” Lydia chuckled and then blushed, feeling stupid for admitting such a silly thing.

Ashlyn picked up on it immediately, remembering the feeling so well from her own experiences after leaving Satellite Beach. She had gone through the same sort of culture shock when she had first travelled with the US youth national team all those years ago. She had felt like a fake, like a phony who was playing along but didn’t really belong.

“It can’t be real, right?” she asked softly, giving Lydia a warm smile. “There’s just no way real people can live like this. I remember the feeling well.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, Lydia didn’t know what else to say. She knew how Ashlyn had grown up – Mike hadn’t hidden it from her, but sitting there with her now it was hard to imagine the successful woman with the wonderful wife and their beautiful and mostly well-behaved children ever having lived anyplace other than nice hotels like this one. When she felt like the silence had lasted too long, Lydia cleared her throat awkwardly and spoke again, her voice more timid and shy again.

“What are you doing down here anyway? Your dad said you were working this afternoon.”

“Yeah, we just finished a meeting” Ashlyn nodded over her shoulder towards the conference room she had come out of on the other side of the lobby. “Got another one in...45 minutes” she looked at her watch as she talked.

“Oh don’t let me keep you” Lydia looked alarmed. “I’m sure you want to check in with Ali and the kids...”

“Nah, they’re all out. Couldn’t wait to check out the city” the keeper grinned. “We’re all still doing dinner together tonight though, right?” 

“Yes, as far as I know.”

“Well you know more than me” Ashlyn chuckled. “I give Ali my schedule for work and she tells me where to be other than that. I love surprises so it’s a great system.”

“Yeah, it’s like a small army up here and Beth and Ali are leading the charge” Lydia laughed softly, not wanting to be too loud in the fancy lobby.

It was quiet again for a minute.

“Is Pop sleeping?” Ashlyn broached the delicate subject carefully. 

She knew the answer. Mike got tired very easily and the train ride from Ottawa to Toronto that morning had been exciting for all of them. If he was going to take part in dinner and whatever event was planned for the evening, he needed a nap that afternoon for sure. 

“MmmHmm” Lydia nodded and paused for a few seconds, unsure of how much to share. She knew Mike didn’t want her telling everybody all of his aches and pains and ailments, but she also knew how much both of his kids wanted to help him. “That new medicine...it makes him tired, more than the last one.”

“Which new medicine, the one for the swelling? for his joints?” Ashlyn furrowed her brow and tried to think through her father’s growing list of medications. She was very familiar with them because he had been staying at the big old house for almost a month before the Olympic trip.

“Yeah.”

There was another pause while the keeper hoped for more information. She knew her dad wasn’t telling her everything, no parent ever truly did that with their kids, not unless they absolutely had to. But Ashlyn knew he was honest with Lydia more than anybody else. When no further information came, Ashlyn tried her best not to push for it. But she couldn’t help herself.

“Is he...is he doing ok?” she lowered her voice and leaned in even though nobody else around them had any idea what they were talking about. “I mean, I know he’s not doing ok” she sighed, frustrated with herself for her poor choice of words. “But...is he glad he’s here or is he ready to go back to Boston? Or...” she swallowed hard at the next thought and hoped she was wrong...”or does he want to go back home, do you think?”

Lydia seemed surprised by the question and the anxiety behind it and answered quickly to ease Ashlyn’s mind.

“No, no, he’s having a great time. And, as far as I know, unless he’s changed his mind and hasn’t told me yet...” she stalled, confused about why Mike hadn’t told Ashlyn their plans. But then she remembered how hard it had always been for Mike to talk to his daughter because his dumb pride always got in the way. “We’re gonna take Debbie up on her offer, if it’s still available...”

“You are?!” Ashlyn’s whole face lit up at the welcome news. “That’s great. Oh Lydia...I’m so happy. The kids are gonna be so happy...” she paused to catch her breath and steady herself. “I’m really glad you’re staying too. That’s awesome.”

Instead of saying ‘I know he wouldn’t stay up here for August if you didn’t stay with him’, the keeper just gave her father’s partner a grin that was full of love and gratitude.

//

Later that same night, as the group strolled from dinner towards the tram that would take them to the swimming event that Drew and Lily were both so excited to attend, Meg, Ali, Kyle, and Deb lagged behind at the back of the busy and loud pack. The redhead was trying to make up for missed time with Mike that summer but it was a losing battle. More than the other kids, she always seemed to miss that time. It had happened with Mike Christopher too. She had started missing big moments with family and friends because of her collegiate and now professional soccer career and she was just going to have to learn to come to terms with it. She was grateful for the FIFA window that allowed her to take time off and spend it with her family while the NWSL took a break for the Olympics. 2-1/2 weeks seemed both incredibly long and brutally short at the same time. Charlie had flown up the first weekend, arriving a day after everybody else, and staying for 3 days before returning to his hectic job back in Cambridge, MA. It killed Meg to not be with him for the full 2-1/2 weeks, but she was determined not to miss this special gathering with her family. Charlie understood and urged her to stay after his visit. Hannah and her friend Reenie Vega were going to join the group for the last 7 days of the Olympics after finishing up a major business event in DC. 

“Is Nate leaving tomorrow?” Meg asked Kyle, not able to remember her uncle’s travel schedule. They were all disappointed that the pharmacist couldn’t get the full 2-1/2 weeks off from work, but that’s what happened when you found out bad news at the end of May and decided to join the big family trip less than a month later.

“Yeah” Kyle pouted and Deb gave him a supportive side hug as they walked. “When is your mom coming in?” 

“Mom and Reenie get here Monday afternoon” Meg replied and looked quickly at Ali. “I know Ash said she was gonna do it, but...”

“We’ve got a car service reserved to pick them up” the brunette answered the unasked question. “All set.”

There was a comfortable silence as they walked on. They laughed at Dodge’s antics up ahead of them. He was trying to hold back Johnny from walking, and not doing very well. Johnny Harris had always been tall, inheriting Chris’ height and sprouting up early in high school, but it wasn’t until last year, his freshman year in college, that Johnny had started to fill out and bulk up more. Nobody thought he was going to be as big as Chris, but he was definitely bigger than any of the Krieger kids so far.

“Sooo...” Meg spoke again, but didn’t seem sure how to get the information she was seeking. “How’s everybody doing...with everything?”

Kyle immediately launched into a funny, made up scenario based on something that had happened that afternoon that only part of the group had been party to. 

“Yeah, but no” Ali shot him down with a giggle at the end of his tall tale. “Always with the stories, right mom” she rolled her eyes and then squealed when Kyle tucked her underneath his arm and gave her a noogie.

“Oh, you two” Deb chuckled as she and Meg sidestepped around the struggling siblings who were laughing as much as complaining. “What are you really trying to ask baby girl?” she put her arm around Meg’s waist and gave her far hip a pat. “How your grandfather is doing?”

“Umm... yeah, I guess” the redhead shrugged and enjoyed the comforting feeling of being in her grandmother’s loving embrace.

“I think he’s doing great. He’s taking the time he needs to stay healthy and awake and positive” Deb answered honestly. “And he’s been right there for the kids, whoever and whenever. Of course we’re all worried about it, but he’s doing a good job pacing himself. Don’t you think?”

“Umm, yeah” Meg shrugged as she considered the question and answered it just as honestly. “I don’t know, you guys always keep the big stuff from the kids. I know I’m not a kid anymore but I guess I’m not sure I get the whole story yet either.”

“I’m not sure either honey” Deb gave her a smile. “Do you want the whole story? Are you even sure?”

“Yes. Definitely” Meg nodded emphatically. “I want the whole story. From now on, about everything.”

“Ok then” Deb cocked her head and nodded approvingly. “What do you wanna know?”

Meg asked about Mike’s condition, more details than she had previously been told and Deb shared everything she knew – which was everything because Ali had told her every last detail. It was how the brunette was processing the situation for her own mental health. Once satisfied with the intel on Papa, Meg got to her next biggest concern.

“And what about Ash. How’s she doing with everything?”

It was a loaded question and they both knew it. Deb suddenly wished Ali and Kyle had caught up to them so that the brunette could field this one. The delayed response made Meg speak again, rapid-fire.

“I mean, I know she’s upset. We’ve talked about it a lot actually. Everything from this year” she explained quickly. “Syd’s mom. Whit’s mom. Now Papa...I just...I want to know how to help her. If she needs help I mean...I mean, I know she goes to therapy and all of that and that’s great, it’s been really good for her and I know all of that...”

“Slow down Meggie” Deb soothed her with a small smile and a squeeze. It was not lost on her that the redhead knew all about Ashlyn’s PTSD and depression issues. Not only did she know about them but she had been there front and center for some of Ashlyn’s scariest battles with them. “She’s ok, she’s doing ok” Deb reassured her granddaughter. “You’re right, it’s been a lot – with Whit’s mom passing at the beginning of May and then her getting Papa’s news at the end of the month...it was a lot.”

“You’re sure she’s ok though?” Meg asked, looking for certainty, and not necessarily doubting Deb’s answer.

“I think she’s doing ok, yes” Deb nodded again. “I think what nobody sees, except maybe Alex, is how hard she works at it. One of my favorite things about Ashlyn has always been her work ethic. Doesn’t matter what the ‘job’ is in front of her – she’s gonna put everything she’s got into it until it’s done. The first time I saw it, or heard about it from Alex really, was with her shoulder rehab. But she’s done it so many times with so many different things in her life. Some of those things have been her mental health and I used to worry about her” she admitted softly.

“You did?”

“Sure I did, honey” Deb paused, not sure how much to share. She decided to skip the breakdown she herself witnessed in the driveway of the big old house that awful summer that Josie had been born. “But the point is, what I’m trying to explain is, that no matter what she’s had to face – she’s done it, and she’s done it well. And that’s why I don’t worry about her anymore, you know, besides the normal amount I worry about you all” she winked.

“I don’t know if I understand all that” Meg sighed, frustrated.

“She puts the work in. She knows when trouble’s brewing and she puts extra work in. That’s what I’m trying to say” Deb tried to clarify. “She’s having a hard time right now, this summer has been very emotional for her, for all of us really, but especially for her. She was really close with Whit’s mom...”

“I know, that’s what makes me...afraid, I guess.”

“Right. Me too” Deb agreed. “And that’s what I’m saying. We don’t see how hard she works to keep herself healthy. I know, just from talking to Alex about other things, that Ash went to extra sessions and even some group meetings too. And not only is she so much better about identifying the trouble spots before she hits them now, but she’s also a lot better at handling them if she does fall into one.”

“Because she’s been doing it for so long” Meg nodded, starting to understand. “It’s like anything, the more you practice...” she left the oft-repeated phrase she had heard from both Ashlyn and Ali her whole life unfinished as she shared a loving look with her grandmother.

“You got it baby girl.”

They were quiet for a few more minutes as they caught up to the big group who was now waiting for the next tram. Before they joined the rest of the family again, Deb checked in with the redhead one more time.

“You doing ok now too?” she patted her hip again. “I know it’s always good to see whoever it is you’re worried about. You gonna be ok enough once you get back to work?”

Meg smiled as she looked into the kind eyes of the best grandmother she could ever imagine having. Somehow Deb always knew where she was at before Meg did herself. It had been Deb who had helped her so many times as she had been growing up and trying to find a way to fit into her unique family, and into her young, blossoming body, and into her new reality as an athlete, and into her grown-up life as a young woman in love. Deb had been a constant for Meg for as long as she could remember and the wise older woman had helped her again this time as well.

“Yeah. I feel better now” Meg grinned and pulled Deb into a big hug. Sometimes it still felt strange that she was the taller one who wrapped Deb up now instead of the other way around. “Thanks for talking with me, you know, like a grown-up. It really helped me a lot.”

“Well thank you for being such a grown-up” Deb giggled and gave her a big kiss on her cheek. “I love you sweetheart.”

//

“So here we are again, eh?” Ken sighed as he sat down on the bleacher seat next to Mike Harris. “Can’t believe it’s been 5 years since the last time we did this, can you?”

Nobody had wanted to go watch the handball competition with Dodge so he had gotten both his grandfathers to accompany him and neither man was quite sure how it had happened. The 13-year old was down near the court with some other kids watching a demonstration on the rules of Olympic handball and waiting as patiently as possible for their chance to try throwing a couple of the balls around as part of the learning opportunity. Both grandfathers kept their eyes on the energetic boy they loved so much. 

“No, has it been that long?” Mike chuckled. “Boy does time fly.”

It had indeed been 5 years since the two grandfathers, neither of whom was all that chatty, had travelled with their daughters and family to the World Cup in Great Britain. The two men had always liked each other and had bonded in a special way during that trip. They had both tried to encourage their new level of friendship after that trip, but it wasn’t easy. They didn’t see each other very often, and neither was the type to pick up the phone just to chat. So they did what a lot of older men did – they texted each other awful jokes and funny memes and the occasional serious news story that would mean something important to the other. Mike could see a lot of Kyle in Ken when, really, it was the other way around. But Mike had gotten to know Kyle so well through their shared struggle with sobriety that his relationship with Ken would always take a backseat to his love for Kyle. And Ken could see snapshots of Ashlyn every now and then as he talked with Mike. There were similarities in their hand gestures, and they had the same exact smile. 

Much like 5 years earlier, the two men had heavy things on their minds that they weren’t sure how to say out loud. Instead, they watched Dodge and talked about his promising athletic future. Ken went out of his way to say nice things about Lydia, knowing the couple rarely spent time together like this with the family. And Mike sang Vicki’s praises as well. They joked about the big joint ‘surprise’ birthday party that was planned for the next night for 4 members of the family who celebrated birthdays during the trip – Ali, Johnny, Mike, and Ken. They checked in on their recovering addict sons, grateful for more success from Chris, Kyle, and Koty. They talked more in that 45 minutes than they probably had in the past 5 years, and it was all because they were too afraid to talk about Mike’s cancer.

Ken chastised himself when their time alone was up, quickly putting a smile back on his face as Dodge came bounding towards them and plopped himself down in the space between his two grandfathers. 

“That looked fun” Mike nudged the boy.

“It was wicked fun!” Dodge grinned from ear to ear. “Did you see how hard I threw the ball?” he looked proudly from one man to the other.

“We sure did. Great job Dodger” Ken chuckled and patted his grandson’s leg next to him. “We saw you lose one though too” he added in an attempt to keep the boy humble and hungry. “I think the one you were using was too big for your hand, that’s why.”

Ken took a couple of minutes explaining about the different sizes of handballs before the three of them grew quiet. The court had been cleared after team warmups and the players were about to come back out for the match. None of the three Krieger-Harris men seemed uncomfortable in the quiet that settled around them. In fact, Dodge had relaxed right into it as his breathing got back to normal with his regular heartrate. Then, in one of those moments that you have no way to prepare for, Dodge’s words took both men by surprise. His voice, still young and high despite the growth spurt he was starting to go through, was clear as a bell but held nothing in it except gentleness and innocence as he looked up at Ken.

“Did you know that my Papa has cancer?”

Ken held the boy’s gaze, even as his mind raced to find something to say. He could see Mike’s wide eyes behind Dodge, equally shocked by the matter-of-fact question. It didn’t seem like Dodge needed a lot of hand holding or was having a hard time with his feelings in that moment. It felt like he was genuinely making sure that Ken knew about Mike’s condition. But neither man missed the slightly downcast demeanor that followed Dodge’s words.

“I did know that, yes” Ken nodded and gave his grandson a friendly smile. “Thanks for making sure though. I appreciate that.”

“Sure” Dodge returned the smile, subdued for the moment in concert with the rest of his body language, and then turned his attention to the court again where the officials were checking the game balls and getting ready for the match whistle.

Mike and Ken exchanged a long look that was mixed with pride and pain and love and regret and so many other things. Ken felt his own chin quiver as he nodded solemnly at his counterpart. Mike blinked watery eyes back with his own nod and turned away to try and keep the tears at bay. When he was sure he could use his voice without it cracking, Mike spoke.

“I’m really glad we’re all together on this trip” he tousled Dodge’s unruly blonde hair next to him and smiled. He left his hand on the boy’s shoulder, nearest Ken.

“Me too” Dodge agreed with a bigger smile. He patted first Mike’s thigh and then Ken’s and then began drumming a pattern on them from one of his drum lessons while they watched the teams take the court.

“Me three” Ken finally added, making sure Mike could hear him too. He patted Dodge’s other shoulder and then reached his hand up and patted Mike’s shoulder too.

As the announcer began listing off the names of the players, Mike moved his hand from Dodge’s shoulder up to Ken’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. As was so often the case with those two big-hearted and soft-spoken men, words weren’t easy. Especially not hard words during difficult times. But there was no doubt about the bond, the love, they had developed over the years.


	20. Let's See What You've Got

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning at the end

The USWNT and Australia faced off again in the Olympic gold medal match, replicating the final from the World Cup the summer before in Colombia. Anybody that knew anything about the USWNT knew that there was no way they were going to lose a championship to the same team two years in a row. Many of the players admitted that they fought extra hard to get to the gold medal game once Australia had made it there. They all knew they were going to beat the Matildas if they could get a rematch. Head coach Abby Smith had her first big tournament championship victory, and everyone was pretty sure it would be the first of many. 

Ashlyn had held it together through most of the tournament while she was working. She had gotten good at keeping her emotions under control when she was on camera. But that passion and those emotions were part of what made her so good at her job, and a big part of why so many soccer fans all over the world enjoyed watching her talk about the beautiful game and the women who played it. The fans could tell something was different with Ashlyn this tournament. Her broadcast colleagues, most of them good friends by that point, all knew about the situation with her father. She wasn’t the first person to go through something like that and she certainly wouldn’t be the last, but Ashlyn had always been so compassionate and caring with the rest of the broadcast team when they had been going through their own tough times over the years. Her colleagues, her friends, had put together a touching tribute to some loved ones who had struggled with illness and won, some others who had lost their battle, and some, like Mike Harris, who were still fighting. 

They surprised Ashlyn by including a few family photos of she and Mike, and Mike and his grandkids in that tribute at the end of the final broadcast. The producers did a split screen with the members of the broadcast team live on one side and the tribute on the other so the viewers could share in the moment if they wanted to keep watching after the postgame soccer talk and gold medal celebrations had ended. Halfway through the tribute, as the first picture of Mike and Ashlyn appeared, the keeper lost it. She cried as quietly as she could, covering her mouth with one hand, unable to take her eyes off of the tribute even though it was hard to see through her tears. Alex Morgan, Heather O’Reilly, Sam Mewis, Tierna Davidson, and Alex Scott all stood around her in a loving group hug as the tribute kept going. 

The women’s soccer world in the US was still a pretty closeknit community, even amongst the fans for the most part. Ashlyn had to go make a social media post later that night explaining her father’s situation and her emotional reaction on camera as she watched the tribute roll. She checked with her dad first, of course, but he had been all for it. He wasn’t hiding his cancer diagnosis from anybody. He was retired but he still worked odd jobs for the city as he had for the past 20 years or so. Neither he nor Lydia were financially able to completely retire so they kept working to get their bills paid. If the city of Satellite Beach stopped hiring him for those odd jobs because of his medical condition then he’d find something else. Mike was at a point in his life where little things like that didn’t upset him anymore. Ashlyn, Tammye and Carol, and even Hannah, had offered to help him financially if he ever needed it and if push came to shove and he couldn’t pay his bills then he might just have to take one of them up on it. It wasn’t the monthly house bills that made he and Lydia nervous, it was the medical bills and the prescription medication that were so expensive. Mike was part of the first wave of elderly Americans who had been enrolled in the new government funded health insurance program. Everybody else in the world had long ago figured out how to get their citizens medical care without bankrupting them. It only took the United States an extra 50 years to even roll out the first test program to do the same.

Ashlyn felt guilty for her outburst at the end of the broadcast - because her dad was still alive. All the media attention was on her because she had been the one to break down, but Alex Morgan’s mother had passed away earlier that year, and Heather O’Reilly’s father had too. Nobody saw it that way except for Ashlyn though. She made sure to acknowledge those losses in her post in an attempt to keep things in perspective. She used a photograph of Mike standing next to her in the ocean, while she was balanced on her first surfboard, grinning enormously at her tiny victory. It was her favorite picture of her dad and one she had clung to through so many dark times without him in her life. 

All in all, the Toronto trip was a huge success, and turned out to be a highlight memory for everybody who made the journey. Even the kids knew it was important. They might not have understood everything that was going on, at all the different emotional levels, but they knew it was important and special. They knew their Papa was very sick and their parents had told them that he wasn’t going to get better. And now, they each had at least one vivid, meaningful memory from that time with him that they could hold onto. Mike had been careful to spend time with each grandchild during the Olympics vacation, doing something they loved. He had been grateful for the time he had been given with his mother during her final months on the earth, and he was hoping to give his family some similar kind of closure. He had wished Gram had shared the severity of her illness sooner. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life and he didn’t want his kids and grandkids to feel the same way after he was gone. That’s why he told Ashlyn, and then Chris, as soon as he had gotten his diagnosis and made his decision.

“I know Ash told you this already, but we mean it”, Ali explained as she helped Mike and Lydia get settled into Deb’s condo on the golf course in Manchester, the next town over. It was Monday afternoon and they had all just gotten home from the airport after their short flight home from Toronto. Ashlyn had to jump on some urgent MHI business up in her garage office, or else she would have been there with her wife. “You have to come over all the time, whenever you want. The door is always open and we want you both there as much as you want to be there” Ali flashed a bright smile and set three keys on the coffee table. “This is for our house, just in case one of the kids locks the door for some reason” she pointed at the keys one at a time. “And this is for this place. And here are the keys for the Subaru in the driveway.”

“Oh we can’t take the car...” Mike objected, just as expected.

“Ash told me you’d say that and she said to remind you...”

“I know, I know” Mike sighed heavily, clearly worn out from the busy day of travel. “She wants us to come and go as we please and we can’t do that without our own car.”

“It’s part of her deal, Mike” Ali made sure the labels were on the house keys, her wife’s careful printing on both. “She’s not paying for it. It’s a loaner car...”

“I know” Mike frowned from his place on the couch, sitting opposite the brunette. “I don’t mean to be ornery, I’m just tired...”

“Of course” Ali smiled again and noticed the nod she got from Lydia, standing behind him with her hands protectively on his shoulders. “I’ll let you get some rest. You have all of our numbers, but just in case, Ash wrote them all down” she stood up, putting a piece of note paper on the table, full of her keeper’s clear writing again. “Call if you have any questions. Please.”

“We will” Lydia agreed.

“Ash’ll be over with your groceries in a little bit. And she’ll bring you back for dinner too, unless you want to follow her to make sure you know the way...” Ali stopped herself at the door, realizing that neither of them was listening to her anymore. Lydia was taking Mike’s shoes off so he could take a nap right there on the couch. “We can talk about all of that later” the brunette fought the urge to help by getting his medicine out of his carryon bag. She and Ashlyn had been helping him and it was still habit for the brunette. She could tell it was important to Lydia to do it herself. Ali forced herself to open the door and spoke as she turned back after stepping over the threshold. “I’m really glad you’re staying. We all are. We love having you here.”

//

It was good to be home after the trip and Ali was hoping her wife would be able to relax a little bit now that they were back. Ashlyn had been wound tight the whole time, and although it was a work trip for her, it was the first time she hadn’t been able to step away and unwind with her family. The keeper had always found a way to make time for her wife, or wife and kids depending on who had made the trip to which major tournament, and forget about work for a day or two, at least. But not this time. The Toronto Olympics had been wonderful and had delivered some exceptional moments for the USWNT and the fans who loved them so much. Ashlyn had done a wonderful job as a soccer expert and the ratings had been higher than ever before, as had the feedback on social media from fans and former players alike. The trip had been a success, no matter how you looked at.

But Ali had found their time away lacking. She wouldn’t admit it to anybody other than Sydney or Kyle, but she was disappointed that Ashlyn hadn’t been able to make or find time for them as a couple during the trip. The brunette didn’t blame her wife though, not at all. Ashlyn had a lot going on and Ali was happy that her keeper had held herself together from start to finish, well almost all the way to the finish. Ali had tried to take care of any and all kid and extended family issues that came up over those 2-1/2 weeks and she felt like she had done a good job of it. Kyle was her main accomplice, but both Meg and Deb helped as well. Even Hannah had come through the last few days once she had arrived. The wealthy redhead had picked up the check on every group meal they shared once she joined them.

It had been a long time since Ali and Ashlyn had gone more than 2 weeks without having sex. But they were pushing 3 weeks by the time they got home to Gloucester that Monday afternoon. Ashlyn had been so tense and anxious, worried about her dad’s health and happiness during the trip, that she hadn’t been receptive to any of the brunette’s subtle advances. Ali wasn’t even sure her wife had recognized the signs she had given her, so it wasn’t even that she wasn’t receptive. She was practically clueless. During the first part of the trip, about 5 days in, Ashlyn finished washing her hair and got out of the shower that Ali had just joined her in. That’s when the brunette realized her girl had too much going on in her head and her heart. As much as she knew a nice orgasm would help Ashlyn, Ali didn’t want to force her into anything either. And as the days went by, the brunette kind of forgot about it too. She was certainly aware of how much she wanted to have sex with her wife, but her attention and energy had shifted more exclusively to keeping the kids and the in-laws squared away.

It wasn’t until Saturday evening of that first week home that Ali decided to make her move. Ashlyn was home from week 7 of the Academy and there was no way she was going to wait and try to squeeze in some quickie sex up at the camp when they were both there coaching for the final week 8. No fucking way. Too risky. Mike and Lydia were going to come up to the camp for a few days that week too. Mike wanted to brag on his daughter and show off the Academy to Lydia, and Ali was all for it. But if that meant that Ashlyn was going to be all distracted and tense again then the brunette was not taking any chances. They were already at 3-1/2 weeks by Saturday and she was getting desperate.

Tammye and Carol invited everybody up to their small beach house in Rockport, the next town up from Gloucester, for a cookout late Saturday afternoon. Deb, Mike & Lydia, Ken & Vicki, Ali & Ashlyn and the kids were all there. A couple of Tammye and Carol’s neighbors attended, and Sydney and Dom brought James and Maddox and Sandi Leroux, who was having a good day and seemed almost perfectly herself. Everybody just had a nice, relaxing time. It was a beautiful summer evening, still hot until after the sun set around 7:30pm. There was a soft breeze blowing in off the ocean to keep the bugs mostly away but not enough to cool anything off. The constant battle over the music continued throughout, with Sydney being the one to try to broker a peace between the oldest and youngest factions of the gathering. Dom manned the grill and, even though none of the other men present would admit it, was clearly the best cook among them - especially when it came to grilling. 

Ken and Mike partnered up quickly and spent a lot of time together, much of it playfully critiquing Dom’s work. Ashlyn’s dad, after a couple of quiet days to recover, was feeling pretty good, very rested after that day’s afternoon nap. Lydia had surprised most of the Krieger clan by making fast friends with one of the neighbors. They were about the same age and looked, on the surface anyway, as though they might have had some shared life experiences too. Deb spent almost the entire time talking with Sandi. She knew enough to take advantage of her old friend’s good days whenever she could. She regaled Sandi, and Sydney and the neighbors, with all the stories from the Toronto trip. There weren’t as many fun things to do at the small beach house as there were at Tammye and Carol’s big beach house down in Florida, or at the big old house itself, but the kids figured out how to entertain themselves. It was amazing how much fun a soccer ball and a deck of Uno cards could be.

“Hey babe” Ali wrapped one arm around her wife in a hug from behind as Ashlyn looked towards the ocean from the deck. 

They each had a beer bottle in one hand and a smile on their face, happy and relaxed. Ashlyn looked good. She always looked good, but the laidback beach summer cookout vibe was her forte. She wore pale teal green board shorts that came down to mid-thigh, with flip flops, and a Hawaiian shirt that was pink with yellow, purple, and teal flamingos, palm trees, and beach signs on it. She wore it open and the matching teal sports bra style bathing suit top was visible beneath it as it flapped gently from time to time in the light breeze. Ashlyn’s shaggy blonde locks looked disheveled and sexy and perfect, as always, and the stylish sunglasses completed the look. The brunette pressed her whole body into the hug and closed her eyes as she leaned her cheek against her keeper’s shoulder blade. Ashlyn smelled wonderful – a mixture of sun and salt air with some hair product and a little bit of sweat. Ali took a deep breath and hummed her approval. The bare skin of her keeper’s stomach felt soft and warm on the inside of Ali’s forearm. 

“Hi beautiful” the blonde turned her head so her wife could hear her words while she gave the forearm around her midsection a squeeze.

Ali hadn’t sought out her wife with an objective, at least not a specific one. She had just made the rounds of kids and kitchen and had come back out to grab a beer and relax for a bit. Of course the first thing she saw was her gorgeous keeper standing by herself at the edge of the deck. The next thing she knew, there she was, wrapped around her, grinning like a fool. Now, despite being ravenous and a little tired from a bad night of sleep, all she wanted was more. Knowing the rest of the partygoers were all located behind them, Ali moved her hand up and cupped her wife’s breast. She didn’t squeeze it or play with it, she just held it for several seconds, claiming it as her own. Without really intending to, Ali let her mind go where her hand was leading. She felt Ashlyn chuckle more than heard her and she leaned up so her mouth was close to her keeper’s ear.

“Slow, deep fucking...” Ali’s voice was low and husky as she spoke the sultry words, “...total togetherness, tender even when it gets harder. Pressed up against your body so close, chest to chest...my lips on your throat while I’m rocking inside you, panting for breath against your skin. Your legs wrapped around my hips and pulling me in closer...”

Ali felt her wife’s heartrate quicken and her breathing speed up just a bit. Ashlyn didn’t chuckle anymore. The brunette could also feel the twinge between her own legs as the steamy image filled her brain. But she didn’t want things to go too fast too soon, so she left a hot, open-mouthed kiss on Ashlyn’s cheek and then patted her ass as she walked back towards the rest of the yard and party.

“Jesus Al...” Ashlyn groaned in response to the sexy words, and the image that was now seared into her brain. “Don’t go...” she whined when she felt her beautiful brunette make her exit.

The keeper turned around to watch her wife walk away. She knew Ali would put some extra sway in her hips for her and she was not disappointed. Damn that woman was hot! Ashlyn took a big swig of beer as she leaned against the deck railing behind her and admired the sexiest woman she had ever known. She would never understand how Ali made the simple, cotton jersey dresses she wore all summer long look so goddamned good. The one she wore now was sleeveless, a dusky rose color, and it fell just to her knees. It was loose fitting and comfortable, but it still clung to her hips and made Ashlyn wonder what color the pretty panties she had on underneath it were. Ali’s hair was down, straight and long enough just to hit the top of her shoulders, and she had her sunglasses up on top of her head, holding her hair back and framing her face perfectly. The silver of her rings and bracelet made her tan look even darker than it really was, but Ashlyn’s favorite thing about her wife in that moment – aside from her gorgeous ass and swaying hips of course – was that she was already barefoot. That’s how she knew her girl was totally relaxed and comfortable. They had arrived at 5:00pm and hadn’t been there for more than 15 minutes but Ali had already kicked off her sandals and made herself at home. It was something only a wife would recognize, and it made Ashlyn’s smile grow into an ear to ear grin as she thought about it. It still hit her sometimes, just how lucky she was that Ali Krieger loved her back.

An hour later everybody was sitting in different areas and eating the burgers and dogs that had just come off the grill. Ashlyn sat around the 5’ round outdoor table, shoulder to shoulder with Carol on one side and Lydia on the other as they squeezed in. Ali inhaled her food over on the deck steps with Sydney, Deb, and Sandi before finishing her beer and moving towards her wife. The brunette bent over Ashlyn’s shoulder and cupped her hand around her ear before telling her more about her plans for later that night.

“Your hand on my ass, another on my back, holding me tightly to you...my mouth on your neck, your jaw, your lips. Gasping breaths and murmured moans between strong, rough thrusts. Old school fucking...just you and me and our own timeless rhythm. Mmmm...I love the way we fuck...”

Ashlyn choked on the food in her mouth, coughing and sputtering as she tried to clear her airway. Ali stood up, praying Carol hadn’t heard a word of what she had whispered into her keeper’s ear, and patted her wife on the back to try and help. The rest of the table looked alarmed as Ashlyn’s face turned red and her eyes watered. It took another minute, but as soon as the blonde reached for her beer, Ali knew she was ok and quietly walked away.

“You ok Bash?” Mike asked from across the table.

“Yup” she nodded and tried to catch her breath. “I’m good.”

“Whatever she needed could have waited til you were done eating” Tammye chuckled. “You could have killed her Ali” she teased and everybody laughed.

Everybody, that is, but Sydney who was eyeing her bestie suspiciously. The coach was pretty sure Ashlyn’s face wasn’t just red from choking, but it was hard to tell. She’d have to pay more attention to confirm her hunch.

An hour after that, Ashlyn got the shock of her life when her wife opened the bathroom door while she was peeing. Ali had watched the keeper go into the bathroom and waited until she was sure she’d be in a position where she was unable to pursue her as she left the room again.

“Shit!” Ashlyn yelped and then laughed. “You scared the hell out of me.”

Ali just smirked at her as she stood there with her hands on her hips.

“I love whatever it is you’re doing, but try not to kill me, ok?” Ashlyn winked. “I’m assuming you’re not here to pee?”

“Not quite” Ali gave her one of her most provocative stares and bit her bottom lip as she stepped closer. 

She put her hands on Ashlyn’s shoulders and kissed her. It was gentle for a second but as soon as the blonde opened her mouth it changed to deep and probing. Ali had to stay steady and strong when she felt her wife’s hands reach out and find her hips and then her ass. She pulled back abruptly from the heated kiss, then moved her lips next to Ashlyn’s ear again. 

“Wet and hot, and steady and deep...until it’s fast and desperate and we’re out of breath. You’re whimpering and digging your fingers into my back, and I’m grunting low and pumping inside you... I’m rocking you through it until your gorgeous body explodes underneath me...”

“Fuck me...” Ashlyn breathed out as she felt her clit tingle, even as she sat where she was on the toilet.

There was a knock on the door that Ali couldn’t have been more grateful for, because she was having a hard time not getting her hands involved in the fun.

“Just a minute” the brunette said, hoping her voice didn’t sound as turned on as she thought it did.

She stood by the door until Ashlyn had washed her hands and then they both left and let Maddox Dwyer take their place.

45 minutes later, after helping Sydney and Dom pack up their family to head home, Ali stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes and had the tables turned on her when Ashlyn wrapped both arms around her from behind. The keeper subtly rubbed one forearm up and then back down over the brunette’s breasts while she reached down and cupped her Ali’s crotch with the other hand, applying pressure with her two middle fingers.

“Ashlyn!” Ali whisper-yelled but couldn’t defend herself because her hands were both wet and soapy in the sink. Not that she really wanted to defend herself, but Vicki was helping her with the dishes and would be back any second with another handful of plates. “Stop” she whined and pushed her body back against her wife’s to get some distance between them.

“Well that’s not the way to make me wanna stop” the keeper laughed softly and pressed her warm lips into Ali’s exposed neck. “Damn, woman...you feel good.”

Determined to stick to her original plan, Ali turned her head and shoulders to the side and motioned for Ashlyn to bring her head closer. The keeper complied with a knowing smirk.

“Get your hands out of there and I’ll tell you the rest...” she offered quickly, not wanting to miss their window of time before their privacy was interrupted.

It only took a few seconds for Ashlyn to make up her mind. She pressed her fingers into the front of her wife’s dress and panties again, held them there for a beat, and then removed them. She very considerately smoothed out the dress and left one final, gentle pat on Ali’s mound before pulling her hand completely away.

“I’m all ears, baby” the keeper leaned close and fought the powerful urge to kiss her beautiful brunette hard.

Ali had to concentrate to stay focused on her plan instead of getting distracted by how much her clit ached at that moment. She had been feeling so in control for so long that evening. Leave it to Ashlyn to sneak in and push her off balance like that. Damn. The brunette leaned in close and used the tip of her nose to tease her keeper, tracing the outer edge of her ear and making sure to let her hot breath linger. She moved her lips so close that they brushed against her wife’s ear as she spoke the last of her seductive words.

“But I don’t stop...you let me in deeper, slower, and it’s just that perfect spot...the one you can’t get to any other way. And I hold you while you come again, still pressed close together...hearts pounding together...loving the absolute intimacy...never wanting to let go or move ever again...”

It took them a half hour to get the kids rounded up and headed for home. They exchanged furtive glances as they drove, hands intertwined on the console between them and fingers slowly caressing the skin there. Ali thought she was going to die when they had to follow Mike and Lydia to Deb’s condo to pick up Drew who had driven the Subaru loaner car home in the dark for them. At 9:30pm they hustled the kids and dogs and Deb inside the big old house and worked as quickly as possible to get everybody settled for the night. It was so much easier now that the kids were older. Drew and Josie didn’t need anything from their parents at bedtime anymore and the twins just needed a reminder to brush their teeth and clean any obvious dirt off of their bodies before getting into bed. 

There were nights where they still read a chapter of whichever book they had currently going with Dodge and Lily, and sometimes Josie or Drew if it was a book they enjoyed, but the every night chapter book ritual had faded away over the past few years. Ali asked the kids a few times a week and was grateful when the answer came back yes once or twice. The nightly family rule that hadn’t changed, not even for their almost high school senior Drew, was no electronics in their bedrooms after certain times. Both Ali and Ashlyn knew how important sleep was for overall health and wellness and they did everything they could to make sure their kids got good sleep every night. It was one of the things they were strictest about. Drew hadn’t put up much of a fuss about it yet. The moms had been prepared to relax the rule for him if he asked and if he could prove that he would be smart about it and not spend hours every night staring into a little blue screen when he should be sleeping. But he never really pushed the issue. Both Ali and Ashlyn knew Josie would push it enough for two kids anyway.

“Jesus fucking Christ...” Ashlyn gasped as she pulled back from the heated make-out session that had finally gotten underway at 10:15pm. 

As horny as they were for each other, there was no way they were going to skip the sexy foreplay that they both loved so much. They just didn’t spend quite as much time on it as usual.

“God, I’ve wanted you so bad...all damned day...” Ali panted, her eyes lidded and dark with lust as she rolled off of her wife but held her close. 

“Really?” the keeper raised her eyebrows with a smirk and deadpanned “I had no idea.”

They both laughed, but not for long. They’d been waiting for hours to lock themselves inside their bedroom and act on Ali’s titillating words. Now, finally, they were alone, naked, and ready to get busy. 

“What can I say?” the brunette flirted shamelessly as Ashlyn rolled onto her side to face her and intertwined their legs. “You do things to me, Allstar. You always have and you always will.”

“Oh yeah?” the keeper dragged the back of her hand across Ali’s bare stomach, making the brunette suck in a breath as her skin broke out in gooseflesh. “Like what?”

“Well, for starters, you make me so fucking wet I considered throwing my damned panties away at your mother’s house” Ali giggled and rolled her eyes. “But then I’d have been in real trouble.”

“Oooh, that would have killed me to know you were going commando under that pretty dress tonight” Ashlyn’s face was half grin and half grimace at the tantalizing thought. 

“And...” Ali didn’t get another word out for another 5 minutes because Ashlyn kissed her hard and they got carried away in another passionate liplock.

When they pulled apart this time, both out of breath and turned on even more, Ashlyn spoke, her voice husky and her breath hot as they shared the same air in the 2 inches between them.

“So are you gonna fuck me with the strap or was that all just talk...?”

“Can I?” Ali’s thick voice was just as full of desire as they locked eyes.

“I think I’ll die if you don’t...”

The look of lust in those lidded, hazel eyes made Ali’s head spin for a few seconds. They were always at their greenest when Ashlyn was turned on and it made the brunette’s heart swell knowing that she was the only person in the world who ever got to see them like that.

“Here” Ali tossed one of their tried and true sex blankets towards her wife as she walked quickly from her closet to the bathroom to wash Ashlyn’s favorite dildo as fast as possible. “We’re gonna need this for sure tonight.”

The keeper had to take a minute to pull herself together before doing as she had been asked. It was such a huge turn on for her whenever Ali made promises of what was to come like that. The brunette very rarely let her down when it came to fulfilling those sexy oaths. Ashlyn could count on one hand the number of times her wife had promised something sexy and then not been able to make it happen. After having sex together for 20 years, that was pretty fucking good.

“How do you want...” Ali started to ask as she crawled towards her wife on the big bed, now covered in soft, absorbent, purple.

“I want everything you teased me with tonight” Ashlyn cut her off, sitting up to help get the brunette into the harness faster. “Every. Single. Thing.” she pressed a hot kiss into Ali’s belly button and then both nipples, one after each word.

Ali blinked down at her sweet, accommodating wife with a heartfelt, lovestruck smile that only lasted for a few seconds before the carnal desire that was filling the room brought both women back to the naughtier aspect of their sexy times.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good...” the brunette smirked as she got the rainbow dildo Ashlyn loved into place. 

“I want that...right fucking now...” Ashlyn’s voice hitched, full of emotion and want. 

Both women used their own passion, already collecting between their legs, and lubed up the strap-on, again in an effort to speed up the process. They fumbled over each other’s hands in their haste until Ali finally let her wife finish the task on her own. Ashlyn made sure to push back on the toy so her beautiful brunette could enjoy the pressure against her sensitive clit. The keeper felt her own excitement skyrocket at the sight of her sultry wife kneeling there, lubed up and ready to take her on the sexiest ride in the world. God damn Ali was gorgeous like that – hands on her hips, sexy smirk on her face, hips already rotating in a kind of pre-fuck tease.

The brunette pushed her wife backwards with just enough force to make Ashlyn’s breath hitch at the surprise. The blonde watched, eyes wide and skin already tingling, as Ali walked on her knees until she was right between her keeper’s spread-eagled legs. The urge to bury her face there instead of the strap-on was strong, but Ali knew she’d get a chance for that after the more urgent need was satisfied. She would insist, if she had to but there was no fucking way she was going to sleep without eating Ashlyn out and worshipping her pussy like the queen that she was.

“You are so fucking sexy” the blonde shook her head slowly as she tried to be patient, her long arms reaching out and grabbing for Ali’s thighs. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me...”

Ali pressed one warm kiss into the top of her wife’s mound, loving the way the scratchy hair there tickled her chin. The intoxicating scent almost drew her mouth downward, but the brunette found some extra stash of willpower and continued to move up her keeper’s lovely, lithe body. 

“Love you...” she mumbled into pale skin and dark ink as her lips travelled up, “so damn much...”

Ashlyn swallowed hard when she felt her wife’s tongue dart out here and there, circling her nipples once each before locking onto her pulse point at the base of her neck. The keeper’s heart skipped a beat when she felt the end of the dildo poke her in the groin and she moaned loudly, impatiently.

“Mmmmmm...baby, please...”

Ali brought their lips together in a blistering kiss, letting her chest rest completely on top of Ashlyn’s, both of them feeling the electric jolt that shot between them when their nipples dragged across each other. The brunette wrapped her arms around her keeper’s back, holding their upper bodies together as they continued to kiss. She lifted her hips and let Ashlyn reach down between their bodies with both hands. The blonde used one hand to spread open her own slick folds, and the other hand to guide the tip of the toy to her hungry entrance. She felt dizzy from the probing kiss and the tight embrace, but as soon as she put her hands on Ali’s ass and back, everything slowed down again for her. The brunette’s eager mouth was at her ear, whispering and puffing hot breaths as she husked out raw words.

“Can you feel me?” Ali panted, her words slow and deliberate. “You’re so tight...so fucking tight...” she groaned with pleasure as she pushed the dildo slowly into her wife’s pulsing core. That magical knob that pressed back into her own clit felt incredible as the toy continued to advance through the pressure of Ashlyn’s silken walls. The brunette lowered her hips, inch by inch, until their mounds were touching and the strap-on was buried all the way inside her gorgeous keeper.

“Fuuuuuckkk...” Ashlyn exhaled, closing her eyes and turning her head to the side so her wife had more room to work on her neck. Yes, Ali knew exactly where her wife’s sweet spot was and made quick work of driving her close to the edge without ever moving her hips back and forth even once. “Jesus Al...” she crossed her ankles behind the brunette’s back, her legs up around Ali’s hips and pulling her in closer. “Don’t...don’t move yet...” Ashlyn whispered. “I just wanna stay like this for a minute...”

“Anything you want love, anything” Ali hugged her closer and tried her best not to move, but it was a challenge. It felt like getting to the top of the ski trail and then trying to keep your balance and fight the gravity that was pulling you downward after the climb. She was right where she had wanted to be all day long and trying to keep her hips from moving was difficult as hell. “You ok?” she checked in, even though she had tried not to. They were both looking forward to some serious fucking and she was surprised and a little worried by the delay.

“So good” Ashlyn smiled slowly, eyes still closed as she held her wife tightly to her chest. “Just wanna enjoy this for a second...”

Ali relaxed instantly when she heard the bliss in her wife’s high, girlish voice.

“Love you so much babe” she mumbled into Ashlyn’s neck as she left more open-mouthed kisses there.

“I love this...just like this, just for a second...” Ashlyn tried to explain. “You’re everywhere, all at once, and you feel so fucking good...” she squeezed Ali with all her might as her excitement rose.

“Can’t...breathe...” the brunette gasped out a few seconds later.

Ashlyn relaxed her hold quickly and they both chuckled.

“Sorry” she blinked apologetically up at her beautiful brunette as their eyes met.

“I feel the same” Ali kissed first one cheek, then the other, then her lips. “Everything always feels so right with you, like this. Like nothing could before, and nothing ever could again...”

“Yeah, exactly” Ashlyn nodded before their lips found each other for another long, hot kiss.

By the time they were halfway through that kiss, Ashlyn’s legs had squeezed her wife’s hips between them and Ali had started to slowly thrust in and out of her sweet keeper’s pussy. It wasn’t agreed to or discussed, it was just the natural progression of things that neither woman could have stopped if they had wanted to. And neither of them wanted to pause anything anymore. Ali increased the pace, spurred on by her wife squeezing her ass with one hand and grasping her back with the other.

“Jesus...” the brunette gasped between kisses as the sex got hotter and the thrusts got harder and deeper.

Ashlyn was having trouble keeping her legs up and in place. After a few more minutes she let them drop down, her knees still bent but flopping loosely out to each side. Ali’s knees had spread out too, lowering her hips even more down onto her keeper’s body. She was sweating from her efforts with the dildo and Ashlyn loved the way their bodies slid against each other like a well-oiled machine. And true to her word, Ali put her lips to good use all over her wife’s throat and jaw and mouth and neck, never once stopping or slowing the rhythm she had worked up to. She knew what her girl liked, even if it wasn’t every time. The brunette rocked her hips sharply for several minutes, rewarded by her keeper’s low moaning that always accompanied that kind of rough pumping.

“Oh...fuck...baby...” Ashlyn panted as she got closer and closer to her release. “Fuck...that feels...good...shit, yes...”

They were both panting, Ali unable to do much with her mouth except try and breathe through it while she worked hard with the strap. She knew her wife was getting close because of the way Ashlyn clawed at her back and ass. The brunette had played around with her tempo at the beginning but then it had gone from strong and steady to fast and hard and wasn’t going to change again until her keeper fell apart in her arms. Their skin slapped together every few thrusts when their stomachs came into contact as Ali rocked inside Ashlyn. The room was full of groans and gasps and breathless expletives as they worked together. 

“Unnnhhh...” the blonde moaned as she felt the orgasm getting closer and closer. “Yes, baby...yes...yes...yes...” she chanted in a strangled voice, encouraging both her wife and the impending pleasure. She shifted her own hips, trying to get more pressure on her aching clit and then it was just a matter of a few more seconds.

“Oh yeah, that’s it sugar...” Ali drawled when she felt and heard the change in her wife’s body and breathing. “Does that feel good?” she panted out labored words. “Is that the spot?”

“Oh fuck...oh fuck...” Ashlyn gasped as her face contorted in concentration, so close to her sweet release. “Aliiiiiiii!!!” she yelled out as she came hard, pressing her head back into the bed and letting her legs flail spastically.

“Yesssss baby, yessss...” Ali stopped moving her hips, buried her face into her wife’s neck and breathed deeply as she held on tight to the love of her life throughout her orgasm. The delicious fragrance that was so uniquely Ashlyn filled her nose and thrilled her heart as she continued to hold the blonde through every last twitch and spasm of pleasure. “You’re so beautiful Ashlyn...every fucking inch of you...perfect...”

Just as the keeper was starting to come back to earth after riding out her high, Ali kept her promise and began slowly rocking her hips again. It was unusual for Ashlyn to come again so quickly, especially with a dildo inside her, but she had asked for everything Ali had talked about so the brunette took her at her word. If Ashlyn changed her mind then so be it, but the brunette kept up her slow, gentle movement and watched her wife’s face carefully for any signs of discomfort or distress. But what she saw was a mixture of newfound lust and surprise.

“No way...” Ashlyn chuckled and then sighed, flushed cheeks and dark eyes making it clear that she was definitely enjoying her bonus round. “Fuck...” her voice dropped and got hoarse when Ali shifted slightly to one side and slid her hand between their bodies. The brunette twisted her wrist around and tenderly circled Ashlyn’s still swollen clit. “Yeah...just like that...mmmm...” the keeper hummed.

All it took was a couple of minutes of increased pressure on that bundle of nerves, paired with the gentle rocking of Ali’s hips and the soft nibbles and suction of her lips on Ashlyn’s sweet spot behind her ear and the keeper tumbled over the edge again. This time the brunette lifted her hips up and pulled the dildo out of her wife immediately, knowing Ashlyn was all done with it for the rest of the night. Ali extricated herself from the harness as quickly as she could and then slid back into place on her wife’s chest, enjoying the final moments of her release and the last few quakes of pleasure that jolted through her body.

“I love you Ashlyn” she whispered softly into the blonde’s ear, placing a tender kiss there and taking another deep breath from her neck.

“Mmmmm...” Ashlyn moaned and patted the brunette on the back with a barely controlled arm.

It felt silly and made Ali giggle as she pressed more slow, soft kisses all over her wife’s neck and face.

“You ok babe?” she asked after kissing Ashlyn’s lips and then giggling again when they quivered beneath her own.

“Mmmmm...killed me...” the keeper chuckled and struggled to open her eyes. But when she finally did she was greeted by her favorite smile in the whole world. “Hi baby” she grinned back up at the love of her life.

“So...not actually dead then?” Ali giggled some more and traced her wife’s upper lip with her fingertip before lightly tapping her nose once.

“Pretty much dead” Ashlyn’s dimple appeared when her smile grew at the loving touches from her sexy wife. “But I’m not mad about it.”

“Good” Ali laughed and brought their lips together in a slow, tender, and romantic kiss. 

“That was so much hotter than what I expected” the keeper admitted as they continued to cuddle while she recovered the use of her arms and legs. Before Ali had time to misinterpret her words or get offended or self-conscious, Ashlyn finished her thought and caressed her wife’s ass for good measure. “And I expected it to be fucking off the charts amazing.”

“Really?” the brunette pulled back to study her wife’s cherubic face, still flushed.

“Well, yeah” Ashlyn shrugged and smiled sweetly at the brunette. “Anything I can ever imagine, or have ever imagined...it’s always 10 times better when we actually do it together. This was no different.”

“Well now you’re just laying it on a little too thick, don’tcha think?” Ali laughed and rolled her eyes.

“You asked, and I answered. Deal with it” Ashlyn teased and pulled her wife into a kiss that started out fairly tame but quickly turned fiery.

“Wow, you ready for more already?” the brunette asked with wide eyes and a big smile. She was dying to get a taste of Ashlyn’s pussy and wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait.

“Oh I’m ready alright” the keeper rolled them over so she was on top of her startled wife. “Ready to take my turn now. And maybe the next 3 or 4 turns after that too” she made a contemplative face as she pretended to consider it. 

Ali squealed quietly in surprise and delight and then giggled at her wife’s silliness. It felt so good to be in her arms and underneath her like that. It was a safe haven for the brunette and one of the few places where she was able to completely let go of everything else in her life that was nagging for her attention. As much as she wanted a taste of her sweet keeper, Ali knew she would be happy forever in Ashlyn’s loving hands.

“Well I won’t stop you” Ali leaned up and kissed the blonde’s lips, moaning when Ashlyn deepened it and pressed her back into the bed with the passionate kiss. When they broke for air a few minutes later, the brunette panted out her challenge with a smirk. “Let’s see what you’ve got, hot stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO FREAKING EXCITED to watch the Pride play soccer this Saturday!! LFG!!!!!!!!!!


	21. Make it Make Sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chapter includes an accident. I don't want to spoil anything so if you are nervous please send me an email and I'll answer any questions/concerns you have. The accident is discussed afterwards - I don't take you through it as it happens.  
> Only 4 chapters left after this one. We're getting close. <3

Cassius Cruz Dwyer was a fairly typical young man. By mid-August of that year he was a month shy of his 19th birthday, and 2 weeks shy of moving out of his parents’ house and into a dorm for his freshman year of college. He was a good kid who had done well in high school, despite periodic lapses into obnoxious teenage behavior. Somehow, he managed to graduate near the top of his class while having a steady girlfriend, playing hours of video games with his friends, and being captain of both the soccer and basketball teams. He had the 4th highest GPA out of 155 graduating students at Lynnfield High School, and was voted by his peers as the most likely to succeed in his senior class. 

“Well I almost fell over when his guidance counselor called, back in March, to tell me Cash had a real shot at Valedictorian” Sydney shook her head, smiled, and took a sip of wine before continuing. “I knew he was smarter than he let on, but I don’t know...I guess I didn’t think Valedictorian level smart, you know?”

“They’re always gonna be just our kids first” Ali grinned from her place next to the coach, both women sitting side by side on the edge of Cassius’ bed, drinking wine, and ‘packing up’ his bedroom. The first step in getting your oldest child ready for college was to reminisce with your bestie, also his godmother, and fight off the denial you’d been hiding behind all summer long. “You know?” the brunette cocked her head and gave Sydney a soft smile that changed to a silly grin as she spoke the next words. “The little idiots who ran around the house naked every chance they got as soon as they figured out how to take their damned diapers off!”

“Yes!” Sydney cackled in agreement. “The little shits who made it their childhood mission to try and scare me as often as possible because they thought my scream sounded funny.”

Both women cracked up. Poor Sydney had been victimized by her husband and all three sons in this way for as long as she could remember. 

“Well, they’re not wrong on that one” Ali laughed and nudged her best friend’s arm. “Your scream is something else. It’s always sounded like it came right from a movie...”

“Yeah, one of those old-timey ones where the damsel in distress is tied to the railroad tracks and screams louder than the damned train whistle!” Sydney laughed loudly, slapping her own knee and throwing her head back at the same time. “So, I’ve heard.”

It took a couple of minutes for their laughter to die down, but then Ali spoke again. She was reflective, but her face bore a tender smile instead of any regret.

“We see all their softness and insecurities, I think. It’s hard to see your kids from the outside perspective. As moms we’re just not cut out for that.”

“That’s right” Sydney took a deep breath and sighed heavily. The smile on her lips made the sad look on her face less worrisome. “Nobody who’s wiped their son’s butt expects him to grow up and be Valedictorian...not that he even got it, but you know what I mean.”

Cassius had failed to finish with the highest GPA in his class, but he was a parent’s dream success story. He was a popular, talented, smart kid who worked hard – as long as his parents weren’t looking – and usually did the right thing on his own too. His dream from a young age had always been to play professional soccer. He had been in love with the beautiful game his whole life, surrounded by it with his professional MLS and NWSL trainer father, and high school coach mother. Nobody was sure he would make it though. Ken Krieger was cautiously optimistic, explaining that it would come down to how hard he was willing to work in the next stage of his young life. Cassius had always been the best player on his teams growing up. Always. And he played up a year, like Dodge did, but he didn’t make people’s jaws drop like Dodge did. Sydney and Dom and the rest of the four family parents who had ties to professional sports or collegiate soccer had done everything they could to help Cassius along the way. It was truly up to him from this point on. 

And, as is usually the case, it would take a bit of luck landing in the right college program with the right college coach to really make an impact at the next level. Deciding where Cassius was going to college had been a big deal and it had been much discussed and debated. Dom and Sydney took him to tour all of the division 1 colleges whose men’s soccer teams were interested in the young striker. They were prepared for him to choose something as far away as California or Texas or Florida, but he kept coming back to the New England and New York/New Jersey schools on his own. Granted, many of them offered him a partial scholarship tied to his participation on the soccer team, and the young man knew how important that would be for his future. His parents had sat him down and explained to him exactly how student loans worked and made sure he understood what was involved in paying them back.

Sydney had confided in Ali that she and Dom had been shocked when Cassius narrowed it down to Dartmouth College in New Hampshire, and the University of Connecticut. His rationale was that they were the two schools offering a full scholarship and he wanted to make sure his family had enough money to send both of his younger brothers to college too. Dom and Sydney had been saving the settlement money from the Fenway Park incident for their boys’ education but the fact that their oldest son showed such maturity and respect for the rest of the family blew them away. They knew in their hearts that Cassius was a good kid, but it had been easy to forget with all of the teenager bullshit and bad attitude they had endured. Finding out their loving boy was still inside the turbulent young man’s body and mind was a wonderful surprise for them both.

Further evidence of his maturity came when he ultimately chose UConn over Dartmouth because of the excellent physical therapy and sports science program they offered. Every parent of a child who wants to be a professional athlete makes sure to caution them about the journey even while encouraging them to pursue it with all their heart. Chase your dream but make sure you have a back-up plan, just in case. Cassius had heard the message and was taking it into account while making the biggest decision of his young life so far. Both Sydney and Dom would have loved for their son to go to Boston University, like they did. But having him only 90 minutes from home at UConn was impossible to complain about. Being closer to home for Cassius wasn’t all about getting his mom to do his laundry though. He was interested in staying near his girlfriend who was going to the University of Massachusetts at Amherst in Western Massachusetts. But Dom and Sydney chose to overlook that reality and focus on what a loving son and brother their boy had grown into.

“He finished fourth in his class BB. That’s incredible” Ali gave her bestie a serious face back in Cassius’ bedroom that August evening. “You know that, right?”

“I do” Sydney admitted sheepishly, pride in her voice even as the words got stuck in her throat. Cassius was not a genius, by any stretch. He had worked hard for his grade point average.

Ali put her arm around the coach and pulled her in for a tight side hug, surprised by the way Sydney clung to her in return. It was a particularly emotional display from the outwardly imperturbable woman, even in a private moment with her best friend. They sat quietly like that for a couple of minutes, Sydney’s head on Ali’s shoulder, one arm each wrapped around the other’s waist and shoulder. Ali took in the posters of soccer stars as well as those of beautiful young women on the walls, while Sydney tried to collect herself and keep from full-on bawling. Ali waited for her bestie’s body to tell her it was ok to release the hug and was surprised to hear Sydney giggling.

“You ok boo?” she asked tentatively, giving the coach’s shoulder a tender squeeze.

“Yeah, I’m ok” Sydney sniffled through another giggle, patting her friend’s waist appreciatively.

“What’s funny?”

“Oh, I’m just thinking about the last few years” she referenced every parent’s nightmare – the high school teenager years. Cassius had been difficult, like most high schoolers. “I’m so glad I didn’t actually kill him any of the times I really fucking wanted to.”

//

The Krieger kids all jumped back into the new school year that September with more excitement than usual. They were all feeling confident about their place in each school, and among their different groups of friends and teammates and schoolmates. The twins were top dogs again, entering 8th grade which was their third and final year of middle school. Josie couldn’t wait to start her sophomore year of high school at Andover now that she had learned all the ins and outs of the private school as a Freshman last year. The redhead had always been the most excited Krieger about going back to school, but it was on another level this year. Drew was a bit more tentative as he began his senior year at Gloucester High School. He was comfortable with his peers for the most part, but he was anxious about the next step. Trying to plan for college and also grapple with the rest of his teenage life gave him a little pause – but not enough to derail anything as he too enjoyed the year as big man on campus at his school.

Meg was still getting used to the idea that she didn’t go back to school in September anymore. It was the third year of not going back to school and the redhead still felt the pull of a college campus. Maybe it was the first September that she had been able to focus on her feelings about being out of school – maybe that’s what felt different. The first year, only 4 months after graduation, had been too soon to even register. Meg had been training hard and trying to be patient as she waited for the NWSL draft in January of 2035. Then, last year, she was oblivious again to the weeks that made up September as she tried to navigate her very first season as a professional soccer player. It had taken every bit of energy and ounce of willpower she had to make it through the 7th month of the 8 or 9 month-long season. If you were lucky, you got to play into November and move far into the playoffs. 

And as much as Ashlyn and Whitney had tried to warn her about the length of the NWSL season compared to that of the college soccer season, Meg had been bowled over by how exhausted she had been last September. All she remembered about last September was that she had won the starting keeper spot before the end of the month. Everything else was a blur. This year, September 2036, she was ready and feeling confident because, much like her younger siblings, she knew what to expect. The Chicago Red Stars were still a struggling team but they were gaining some important pieces to the puzzle that would, hopefully, help them climb higher up the table for the next few years. This September, Chicago was chasing the last playoff spot in the Eastern Conference again. They had failed last year and it wasn’t looking great this year either. But there was still time to put a win streak together. 

“Mmmm...that smells delicious” Ali hummed as she walked into the kitchen after work on Monday, September 29th. 

She smiled at her wife who was skillfully stirring chicken and asparagus in a skillet on the stove. Ashlyn looked as good as ever, dressed in her soccer gear so she and Ali could go to their Monday evening women’s over 40 league game as soon as they were done eating. Josie sat at the small, 2-person kitchen table in front of the big 2-sided fireplace writing something on a piece of paper. She chewed her bottom lip as she tried to think of what to write.

“Hey baby, right on time” Ashlyn glanced over her shoulder and grinned at her beautiful brunette as Ali greeted the dogs who were circling her legs and whining as if she’d been gone for months instead of hours. The keeper was rewarded with a loving smile and sweet blink of those tiger eyes she loved so much in return. 

“Hi honey” Ali next turned her attention to Josie at the table in front of her as the brunette took a few moments to get the dogs calmed down again. “How was your lesson?” she asked one of the safest questions there could be. 

Whatever mood Josie was in those days, you were guaranteed to get an answer, and usually an enthusiastic, engaged one, if it was Monday evening and she’d had her private piano lesson that afternoon.

“Fine” the redhead replied with disinterest, never taking her eyes off the page in front of her.

Ali clenched her jaw and took a deep breath, willing herself to be patient with the moody 15-year old.

“It was better than fine” Ashlyn supplied a more complete answer in her ongoing effort to keep peace between her wife and their petulant daughter. “Mr. Kershaw thinks she can go all-state this year!”

“Wow, that’s great Jose” Ali smiled, genuinely excited for the big news. “Are you psyched? That’s what you’ve been working so hard for...”

“Whatever” the teenager shrugged dismissively.

Both moms tensed up at the rude response but Ali was determined to remain positive and patient. She was in a great mood. She and Ashlyn were going to go play soccer with their friends. Nothing was going to bring her down that night. Not even bratty miss Josephine.

“Whatcha doing anyway?” the brunette tried again, doing her best to find some way to connect with her difficult daughter. “You don’t usually do your homework in here. What’s that you’re working on?”

When Ali took a few steps towards the table, craning her neck to try and get a glimpse of whatever project the redhead was trying to complete, Josie put the pen down and folded her arms across her chest.

“There Mama, it’s done” she announced with a put-upon sigh. She completely ignored her other mother.

“Are you sure?” Ashlyn looked over her shoulder at the teen and tried to keep her voice light. She really wanted to shake some sense into the redhead – or some kindness or some respect. “I’ll get what you need if you want to try and make that, but I’m not guessing. Did you look up the recipe like I asked you to?”

Ali heard the annoyance in her wife’s voice no matter how hard the keeper had tried to hide it. If Ashlyn was having trouble with Josie then there was no way Ali was going to get anywhere. The brunette recognized a wasted campaign and bailed on it before it got ugly. Instead, she moved to the stove and hugged her wife from behind, wrapping her arms around Ashlyn’s stomach and pressing a warm kiss to her cheek from her tiptoes.

“Ugh, fine” Josie huffed and picked up the pen again as she tapped into her phone, muttering under her breath.

“Hi there” Ali spoke softly into her keeper’s neck as she held her tightly for a long hug. She could already feel strength transferring from Ashlyn’s body right into her own. “Are you making us special dinner?” she asked, noting the labor-intensive meal that she herself would prepare for the keeper when she could find or make time. It had been a while.

“Mmmm...hi sugarplum” Ashlyn turned her head and pursed her lips, waiting for a kiss that was delivered with a grin. “Umm, yes I’m making dinner” the keeper chuckled. “It’s MY favorite though, not yours. I feel bad now.”

“Don’t feel bad babe, you’re making dinner” Ali gave her one more squeeze and then released the hug. She leaned her lower back against the edge of the counter so she could see the blonde better as they talked. “That’s a win in my book every single time.” 

She tilted her head just a bit as she enjoyed Ashlyn’s flushed face and dancing eyes. One of the highlights of the week, for both women, was Monday night soccer. No doubt about it. Getting together with their friends to play soccer still thrilled them both. Ali could tell her keeper was excited about it too. The other really attractive quality she saw in her wife’s beautiful face was confidence. Ashlyn had really improved as a cook over the years. She wasn’t as good as Ali but, to be fair, the brunette had a huge head start on her. She had grown up cooking with Deb. Not only had the blonde gotten better at preparing the simple, plain things that the kids liked to eat, but she had branched out and learned new recipes and perfected existing ones too. Ali always went out of her way to compliment her sweet keeper for all the time she spent at the stove feeding their family.

“Yeah, but I should do something more romantic, cook for you...your favorites...”

“Ash, my love” Ali cut her off with a laugh as she stretched her arms out to her sides and then rested her hands on the countertop behind her. “You making dinner for everyone is already my favorite. It’s romantic as hell. Trust me.”

“Romantic huh?” Ashlyn grinned. “Household chores are romantic – are you taking notes on this Jojo?” she asked over her shoulder without taking her eyes off of the brunette.

The two wives shared a smirk and Ashlyn wagged her eyebrows as she stirred and kept things from sticking in the skillet. Ali drummed her nails on the countertop, grinning back at her flirty wife.

“Jesus” Josie grumbled just loud enough so they could hear her, but not quite loud enough that she would get reprimanded for it.

Ali and Ashlyn were used to the kids groaning about their kisses and romantic exchanges. It’s just what kids did and it didn’t bother the two moms anymore. It didn’t stop them either and the kids knew that too. Ali and Ashlyn never got too sexual in front of them though, that just wasn’t the brunette’s style to begin with. Everything was always clean and kid-safe, from the kisses and pats on the ass to the tickle sessions and hugs and flirty banter. Ashlyn was usually the one who pushed too far and Ali the one who shut things down when the kids were around.

“You’d better trim those nails then woman” the keeper quirked an eyebrow at Ali and then gave her another smirk, this one with a little laugh. “Can’t get romantic with me until you cut those claws.”

Ali’s eyes went wide at the risqué comment and she felt her cheeks blush as she smiled in spite of herself. She glanced quickly over at Josie, hoping the remark had gone over her head as so many things always did with most of the kids. But no such luck.

“Oh my God. Gross” the redhead made a pained expression as she hissed out the condescending words. 

She truly looked as though she might throw up which is what made Ali start to laugh. The brunette tried not to laugh, she really did, but she couldn’t help herself. Soon, Ashlyn joined her and they were both trying to rein in their reaction because neither of them wanted to further poke at the pissy teenager in their presence.

“What’s so funny?” Lily asked with a smile as she loped into the kitchen from the family room, near the pantry and the counter with the coffee maker next to the fridge. It was her turn to set the table for dinner and she was already 15 minutes late to get it done so she was happy for the distraction she had walked into. 

Lily looked from her sister to her two moms and then to the two dogs who were on the kitchen floor near Ashlyn’ feet waiting for yummy things to drop from the stove above. The young blonde caught the harsh, judgmental look on Josie’s face and then considered how bemused both moms looked. It was a common occurrence in the big old house those days, but Lily didn’t always understand it. They could all feel the extra tension that lived between Ali and Josie that Fall. It was so commonplace that it was starting to feel normal by the end of September. None of them liked it, but Josie didn’t seem capable of stopping herself from instigating things with their mom. 

“Nothing’s funny” the redhead scowled at her sister and shot a look of complete disdain towards her two moms. “Just them being disgusting and inappropriate again” she rolled her eyes and shook her judgmental head.

“Hey, now that’s enough” Ashlyn turned around to face the bratty teen, having had quite enough of her attitude. She stepped towards the table and the redhead with displeasure on her face, hazel eyes flashing with anger. “Nobody asked you, so keep your rude comments to yourself...”

Ashlyn was gearing up for a pretty good takedown – she hated when anybody spoke disrespectfully to Ali, especially one of their own kids, but she was interrupted by her phone ringing. Lily quietly went about her business, setting the nook table, still grateful that Josie was in the crosshairs instead of her. The redhead’s cheeks were pink from the rebuke and her eyes were hard as she also prepared for battle. Ali stepped in to take her wife’s place at the stove, knowing that the chicken and asparagus dish needed constant stirring at that particular time or else the whole thing would be ruined.

“It’s Reenie” Ashlyn noted with surprise as she looked at her phone, still ringing in her hand.

“I got this, go ahead hon” Ali nodded.

“But you haven’t even had a chance to change your clothes yet...” the keeper protested, phone still ringing.

“Just answer it” Ali chuckled. “I’m not gonna melt. But hurry up because I do have to pee...” 

The brunette knew that if it was Reenie Vega, Hannah’s business partner and close friend, it was probably going to be a quick question about Meg’s schedule because she needed an immediate answer and couldn’t get a hold of Hannah for some reason. She had to schedule events and meetings for and with Hannah for work and sometimes this happened. It wasn’t common for Reenie to call anybody in the big old house, not even Meg, but it wasn’t completely unheard of either. 

“Hey Reenie, what’s happening?” Ashlyn finally answered the phone, her voice light and easy. She moved to the other side of the kitchen to close the cupboard door that Lily had left open when she got the plates out to set the table. “What? Wait...Reenie, what did you just say?”

The panic in Ashlyn’s voice got the sharp attention of both Ali and Josie. The two adversaries exchanged an anxious look as Ali took the skillet off the burner and turned around to face the rest of the kitchen and her wife. The keeper’s face was pale and Ali knew immediately that something was wrong. Very wrong. Lily came back to get the silverware for the table and spoke the words they all were thinking as they watched Ashlyn sink slowly to the kitchen floor with the phone still pressed to her ear.

“What’s wrong? Why is Mama upset?”

“Are you sure?” the keeper’s strained voice asked for the third or fourth time. “What hospital?” 

Ali came out of her momentary panic-fueled fog and snapped her fingers at Josie.

“Write this down. Whatever Mama says, write it down in case she doesn’t remember.”

Josie blinked back at the brunette, shock on her face at the swift change of mood in the kitchen.

“What happened?” Josie asked, her voice much quieter and more reasonable than usual as Ashlyn repeated the name of a hospital and a doctor’s name and room number.

Ali’s head was spinning and the first thing she thought of was Mike Harris. But it made no sense that Reenie would be calling to give Ashlyn news about her own father. It made no sense that Reenie would be calling to give Ashlyn news about anybody...unless something had happened to Meg and the Red Stars had called Hannah first. The brunette felt her heart practically pounding out of her chest in fear.

“Just write it down!” Ali waved her hand frantically towards the redhead who dutifully started scribbling the words and numbers as Ashlyn spoke them.

It was Monday night. Meg should be at her apartment in Chicago after that weekend’s home game. The team wasn’t traveling anywhere, and she wasn’t in a strange city somewhere either. It should just have been a normal recovery day after last night’s game. Ali’s thoughts raced as she tried desperately to make sense of the situation. Josie and Lily both stared at their distraught Mama, waiting for some kind of answer while the dogs both moved to Ashlyn who was still on the floor, slumped against the cupboard next to the refrigerator. 

“And you’re ok? You’re really ok?” the keeper asked, her voice shaking as she grabbed the back of her neck with her free hand and squeezed her eyes shut. There was a long moment of quiet as Ashlyn listened to Reenie’s reply. “Oh thank God.”

Ali couldn’t take it anymore and moved to her wife. She squatted down next to her on the side with the phone pressed to her head and tried to hear the conversation. Her heart felt like it was going to explode if she didn’t know what had happened to Meg right that minute!

“Is it Meg?” she whispered and got frustrated when Ashlyn wasn’t listening to her. The keeper pushed her finger into her other ear so she could hear Reenie better. “Is it Meg?!” Ali asked louder and used her hand to turn her keeper’s face towards her. The anguish she saw in those hazel eyes broke her heart right in two. “Oh God, is it Meg?!”

Finally, Ashlyn registered the question, frowned and then quickly shook her head from side to side. She mouthed the words ‘Meg’s fine’ as expressively as she could and then grimaced, unable to explain further because she was still gathering the information.

The relief Ali felt in that instant was all-encompassing and she just allowed herself to drift there in it for a moment. Meg was ok and suddenly the brunette felt like she could breathe again. Thank fucking God. Yes, Ali had seen the anguish on her wife’s face just now, but she couldn’t think about it in that moment. All she could get her brain to think about was the fact that Meg was ok. It was the only thought running through her brain.

“Is Meggie ok?” Josie’s fearful voice brought the brunette out of her momentary daze of relief. “Mom. Mom! Did something happen to Meg?!”

Both Lily and Josie were staring with terror in their eyes when Ali turned to face them. Lily looked like she was going to burst into tears and Josie looked like she was going to fucking kill somebody.

“No, no, honey, Meg’s ok” Ali reassured them quickly as she got up and gave Lily a hug while nodding lovingly at Josie who rebuffed her extended arm invitation into the embrace. “I was scared too for a minute” she admitted to the girls as Lily squeezed her tightly and buried her face into her chest. “Somebody’s hurt though...” she felt the relief starting to give way to the reality of the still upsetting situation. Something awful had made Ashlyn react so dramatically.

They listened to the keeper’s brief responses to the phone conversation and wished Mama would hurry the hell up so they could find out what was going on. But Ashlyn was really taking her time with Reenie, who had a lot to say apparently. 

“No, I’ll...I’ll tell her. I’ll call her, Jesus...” Ashlyn finally spoke what sounded like the final words of the conversation. There was another pause and then she spoke again before ending the call. “I’ll call you back after. But...you know, call me if you need anything. Anything Reenie. I mean it. I don’t care what time of the day or night it is...” she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off a surge of emotion, “...I’m so sorry.”

Frankie’s toes tapped on the kitchen floor as she impatiently waited for Ashlyn to pay attention to her. If the humans got on the floor it almost always meant some kind of play time. Logan seemed to sense that there would be no playing though. The big dog rested her heavy head on the keeper’s thigh, eyes watching Ashlyn’s face carefully the whole time.

“Mama, what happened?” Josie’s anxious voice cut through the momentary stillness that followed the phone call.

“Ash?” Ali asked at the same time, turning the hug around to the side so both she and Lily could see Ashlyn.

“Ummm...” the keeper tried to speak but her mind was suddenly blank. She swallowed hard and tried again, this time squeaking out the words as she felt her whole world shift. “There was an accident...”

“What kind of accident?” the brunette needed instant clarification.

“A car accident...”

“Meggie was in a car accident?!” shock filled Lily’s hazel eyes.

“What?” Ashlyn furrowed her brow, confused by the question. “No, Meg is fine” she shook her head, unsure where anybody had gotten the idea that Meg was involved in any way. 

“Then who...?” Ali didn’t finish her sentence, slowly putting things together and understanding who was in the hospital. The only other person Reenie would call about, if not Meg, was...

“Hannah” the keeper announced and swallowed again, her throat getting tight. “It’s Hannah.”

//

Ali and Ashlyn did not play soccer with their friends that night. The chicken and asparagus dinner got cold and had to be reheated an hour later for the kids, and then reheated again after that for the two moms to finally eat once they had gotten off the phone calls that had to be made. Homework went undone, instruments went unpracticed, normal evening routines disappeared. September 29th became a mournful day in the Krieger family, from that day on.

“She died?” Dodge’s jaw dropped, shortly after the phone call from Reenie. 

Ali and Ashlyn had strategized quickly about how to handle the latest and most shocking death in the family and then gathered the kids who were home to share the painful news. Drew was at dinner after soccer practice with some of his friends and wouldn’t be home until later that evening. The impromptu family meeting would have to be held without him because Ashlyn couldn’t wait for him. She had to be on the last flight that night to Chicago in 3 hours and was freaking out because she hadn’t been able to get in touch with Meg by phone yet. The two moms gathered with Josie, Lily, and Dodge in the family room while they should have been eating dinner instead. Lily had not let go of Ali for longer than the 10 minutes the two moms had taken to talk privately in their bedroom immediately after Reenie’s call. The girl hugged her mother tight as they sat next to each other on the family room couch – she was practically in Ali’s lap. Josie sat next to them and Dodge took the spot next to her, with Frankie occupying the very end of the couch and watching everything with curious eyes and mild alarm.

“Yes, she did” Ali responded evenly, trying to be as open and honest as possible because she knew her keeper was struggling mightily with her anxiety about Meg. It had been 30 minutes of frantic attempts to reach the young woman, with no luck. “Hannah...died” the brunette swallowed hard as she said the words out loud for the first time herself. “Reenie, her friend – you remember Reenie?” she asked, suddenly not sure if the kids had much knowledge of the woman besides seeing her occasionally at one of Meg’s soccer games.

Reenie had accompanied Hannah to the final week of the Toronto Olympics that summer, but the kids hadn’t interacted with her very much.

“Yeah, she’s Hannah’s...” it was Josie’s turn to choke on her words as she tried to make sense of the news and her own feelings about it. Her reflexive response to having an answer to a question was always to spit it out faster than those around her. That night, traumatic as it was, was no different. The youngest redhead’s voice was flat and hollow sounding, her face still full of shock and confusion. “She’s her business partner. She helps her run the company.”

“That’s right” Ali gave her a warm smile full of love and reached over to give her leg a soft squeeze next to her on the couch. Thankfully, Josie didn’t pull away.

“Reenie is one of Hannah’s best friends too” Ashlyn added from her place on the coffee table in front of them. “That’s why they worked together so well...” she heard the past tense in her own sentence and fought another wave of emotion as it rose up inside her like a volcano preparing to erupt. 

“How did she die though?” Dodge asked, elaborating on his previous question. His voice and his face both reflected the confusion he felt as he furrowed his brow in concentration. 

To the kids, accidents, even car accidents, were not usually fatal. Accidents caused injuries and resulted in punishments for broken rules and payment for items damaged. Accidents caused broken wrists and legs and arms. They happened when you played sports or tripped and fell at the playground or mistimed a jump at the skatepark. The idea that somebody could die from an accident was not something the kids were ready to accept without some clarification.

“Oh honey” Ali sighed and wished she could reach her son physically too. She cocked her head and tried to make the love in her heart palpable so he could feel it as well as hear it. “The other car...it came into their lane and...well, it hit Hannah’s car head on...”

“But...” he scrunched up his face and leaned forward so he could see his mom as they talked. Dodge looked 5 instead of 13. “Why did it do that? Why did it crash into them on their side of the road?”

“We’re not sure yet bud” Ashlyn reached over and rested her hand on his leg, patting it and then leaving it there. The bewildered look in his eyes matched the way she was feeling too and she realized they weren’t going to get many answers right away and it was going to bother the kids just as much as it was going to upset her. “We might not know for a while. They have to do some tests and reports...”

“But didn’t Reenie say the car swerved into them?” Josie’s quick mind recalled the bits and pieces she had heard through the closed door to the master bedroom. It wasn’t quick enough to realize she was implicating herself in the same breath.

Ashlyn and Ali exchanged a frustrated glance but neither of them had the heart to chastise her for eavesdropping. Josie had always had a very special attachment to Hannah and both moms knew they needed to tread carefully with their girl.

“She did” Ali nodded.

“But we don’t know why it happened” Ashlyn continued. “The police will let us know, as soon as they figure it out.”

“Did they die too?” Lily finally spoke, her voice a whisper and her cheeks red and hot from silent tears that had been falling for several minutes.

“No, they didn’t” Ashlyn’s words were clipped and it was obvious to everybody that she wasn’t happy with what she was saying. 

“The man, the driver who hit Hannah’s car, he’s in the hospital too but they won’t know more until they run tests and talk to him about what happened” Ali explained as she kissed the top of Lily’s head and used her palm to wipe some of the tears off of the little blonde’s face. Her work blouse had already taken care of the tears on the other side. “But Reenie’s going to be just fine” the brunette tried to steer the conversation towards something positive. “She’s got a broken nose and a concussion and a broken arm, but that might be from the airbag...”

“That airbag saved her life” Ashlyn added seriously. “And if she’d been driving and Hannah’d been in the passenger seat...”

“Then Hannah would still be alive” Josie finished for her, a blank look on her face that made it impossible to read how she felt about what she was saying.

“What about Meggie” Dodge asked, back on his own train of thought as he processed the information he was being given. “Is she ok?”

“She’s in Chicago” Ali answered, not sure why he was confused about it. Ashlyn had started the whole conversation by explaining that their big sister was fine and that the bad news was about Hannah and not Meg.

“Yeah, I know, but...is she ok?” the boy’s bottom lip quivered just a bit and his sensitive blue eyes started to fill up as he fought a losing battle with his own tears. His empathy had allowed him to consider what he might feel like if his mother died.

“Aw, come here” Ashlyn knelt and pulled him into a hug which he welcomed with a whimper as he buried his face in her neck so his sisters couldn’t see. “It’s ok to be upset” she spoke softly as she held him close. “It’s hard to understand and it’s scary and it’s sudden...I know, I know” she soothed Dodge with her body and locked eyes with Josie at the same time, hoping to reassure her too. 

Ashlyn took a beat to gather herself, watching Josie do the same thing while both Lily and Dodge cried quietly in one of their parents’ arms. 15 years old was a lot different than 13 years old when it came to the maturity required to handle a shocking death like Hannah’s. 

The keeper spoke again. “Meg’s gonna be devastated when she finds out her mom is... gone.”

“We all have to do our best to help her, and support her, whatever she needs” Ali urged in a soothing voice as she patted Josie’s leg and held Lily in her arms.

“Wait, Meg doesn’t even KNOW yet?!” Josie’s deep blue eyes flashed with alarm and then anger. It wasn’t clear who she was mad at though.

“Mama’s been trying to reach her since Reenie called” Ali gave the redhead a warning look that told her to tread carefully. Ali was not going to let Josie’s craving for drama make Ashlyn feel even more guilty about the circumstances. “And you know that” the brunette quirked an eyebrow to call Josie on her earlier eavesdropping and stop the growing dramatics quickly.

“Should I text her? Maybe she’ll pick up if it’s me...” Josie offered next. The drama had been replaced by sincerity and sisterly concern.

“No” Ashlyn spoke sharply. 

The change in her demeanor made Dodge pull away and sit back into the couch again. Josie’s eyebrows went up at her mother’s reaction to her offer, but she didn’t say anything. Ali nudged her wife’s leg with her foot – just reminding her that they were all feeling out of sorts, all of them.

“I don’t want her to hear it from anybody but me” the keeper clarified in a softer tone, still kneeling in front of the couch. She took Josie’s hand and held it in the girl’s lap. “Sorry Jose, I didn’t mean to yell. I’m having a hard time too.”

“Well, you’d better tell Drew that” the redhead picked her phone up and used both hands to navigate quickly to the text messages.

“Why? What do you mean?” Ashlyn squinted as she tried to understand.

“I ummm...” Josie’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I texted him about Hannah...”

“When?” Ali asked quickly. She could feel the volcano inside her wife about to erupt and was desperate to stop it.

“I dunno” Josie shrugged, looking genuinely apologetic. “When you guys were upstairs I think...”

“Oh Jose...” Ali sighed and closed her eyes.

“I’m trying her again” Ashlyn jumped up and pulled her phone out of her back pocket as she started pacing back and forth behind the coffee table. She tapped Meg’s number for the 15th time in 45 minutes. The idea that sweet Meg would find out such horrible news from a careless text that her brother might have sent made Ashlyn nauseous.

“I didn’t know it was a secret!” Josie tried to defend herself, panic rising in her voice. “I’m sorry!”

“Well text him again and tell him not to say anything to anybody” Ali instructed, knowing the teen could do it twice as fast as she herself could with Lily all over her as she was. “Hurry up.” 

//

“I don’t know what to do Al” Ashlyn’s watery eyes met her wife’s an hour later as she put her carry-on suitcase on the floor of the mudroom. 

She had still been unable to reach Meg and was really beginning to panic. The added stress of Drew’s text to his big sister, asking her if what Josie had said was true, had pushed Ashlyn right to the very limit of her self-control. She couldn’t be mad at the kids. They hadn’t done anything wrong. But why couldn’t she get a hold of Meg? She had called her roommate Brandi too, repeatedly. Ashlyn was about to call the coach and find out what the heck was going on – but she didn’t want anybody else to know before she could tell Meg. 

“You should go honey, you’re right” Ali rubbed her wife’s arm as she stood in front of her looking more and more upset with every passing minute. “I wouldn’t want to be away from my family for this either. She’ll be glad you’re there, I know she will.”

Ashlyn’s first reaction after getting the life-altering phone call from Reenie almost 2 hours earlier was to go to Meg and tell her the devastating news in person. Meg was a 24-year old woman now, but neither Ashlyn nor Ali could imagine what it would feel like to learn that the person you relied on more than anybody else in your entire life was gone and you’d never see them ever again. 24 was way too young to be losing your parents. And 48 was way too fucking young to die in the first place! Nobody, not even sensible, grounded, mature Meg Doucette, should have to deal with that without family around her. And poor Charlie, he was all the way over in London at a conference for work! He would freak out for sure when he heard the news and was so far away from his girlfriend and unable to help. Ashlyn couldn’t decide between staying in Gloucester until she spoke to Meg that night and then flying to Chicago first thing in the morning. Or flying to Chicago that night, right that minute as she stood in the mudroom with her wife, so she could tell Meg in person. Meg would have to wait a few hours longer for Ashlyn to make it to Chicago and that delay felt wrong to the blonde too. She was about to explode with anxiety and needed someone she trusted to help her make the decision. Ali had just done that for her.

“But what if she calls while I’m on the plane and can’t talk? What if...”

“Babe, honey, Ash...” Ali got her wife’s attention finally by gently putting both hands to her face and holding her steady as their eyes met. “It’ll be ok, either way. I promise. It’s shitty news no matter if she hears it from you now or in 4 hours.”

“Yeah, but...” Ashlyn slumped her shoulders and let out a deep exhale that seemed to calm her just a bit.

“I know you want to be the one to tell her” Ali nodded as she moved her hands to her keeper’s shoulders and squeezed them. “If she calls me while you’re on the way there, then I’ll just tell her... I don’t know, something vague.”

“See, that’s terrible” Ashlyn whined and closed her eyes, taking two or three more big breaths and trying to center herself. “If she calls you, just...just tell her. And tell her I’m on my way” she nodded after finally making her decision and picking up her suitcase again. She gave Ali a sad smile and kissed her lips softly. “I love you baby. Let’s go.”

//

“Ash?” Meg’s shaking, anguished voice at 6:30pm that night became one of the three most heartbreaking sounds Ashlyn had ever heard in her entire life.

“Meg...” she tried to say more but the words just wouldn’t come right away.

“Is...is it true?” the redhead whispered across the miles, and the fear in her voice made Ashlyn nearly fall completely apart.

Ali, from the driver’s seat of the minivan, reached over the center console and grabbed onto Ashlyn’s thigh in the passenger seat. She grabbed hard and held on, alternating encouraging squeezes and soothing caresses as she drove into Boston’s Logan airport. The brunette had to remind herself to breathe or else she might have forgotten entirely as the tragedy of the day’s events filled the airspace around her. She had heard the details twice before but somehow, listening to Ashlyn explain it all again to Meg was so much harder than she anticipated. She was glad the blonde had not taken the call on speakerphone. As much as she wanted to be a part of the moment and be there for Meg, Ali knew those words shouldn’t be echoing around the plastic insides of a vehicle. They were intimate, deeply personal words that should be shared privately, person to person. Meg deserved that, at least.

As she drove into the dark city, just after the evening rush hour had come and gone, Ali thought about how grateful she was for two more women who were helping the people she loved that night. First, she appreciated her own mom, Deb, who was back at the big old house keeping the kids company so Ali could drive her tightly wound wife to the airport. And now that Meg had finally called Ashlyn back, the brunette was so thankful that she had made the drive. She knew Ashlyn would have been uncomfortable having that conversation with a car service driver listening in. Second, Ali appreciated Meg’s person at the moment – her roommate and teammate Brandi. Meg’s people at that point in her life went in the following order in terms of who she would want next to her for bad news: Hannah, Charlie, Ashlyn, Ali, and then either Gwen from college or Brandi from the Red Stars. Ali wasn’t really sure where Charlie fit in that list, honestly. She was pretty sure he was endgame for Meg but they had only been living together a few months a year for the past two years. He was definitely top 5 in this situation, but it was hard to say exactly where he ranked. An argument could be made to shuffle all the names around and reorder the list entirely, several different times. The only constant would be the #1 person. Hannah.

“Meggie...I’m so sorry” Ali became aware of Ashlyn’s broken voice which had been quiet for a few minutes while she waited for Meg’s crying to slow down enough to talk. “I’m coming to you, right now. My flight lands at 11:20pm and I’ve got a hotel room if you want to get away...”

Ali watched her wife nod her head and wipe the tears running down her stricken face as she listened to whatever Meg was saying. The brunette continued to squeeze and caress and pray for the best as she approached the airport exit off the highway.

“Of course honey. Absolutely. That’s...that’s a great idea. Yes” Ashlyn nodded some more and a pained half-smile cracked her pale face for a few seconds before disappearing again. “I’ll meet you guys at the condo. No, don’t bother. You stay there and I’ll come to you as soon as I land.”

There was another pause before the blonde responded again.

“Well, it’s whatever you want. I know he’s in London for the week, he just got there, didn’t he?” Ashlyn wiped her tear-soaked hand on her other thigh and then gripped Ali’s hand tightly. She gave the brunette a sad nod and blew a breath out as she listened to Meg start to try and wrap her head around the next steps. “Listen, kiddo, we don’t have to worry about that tonight. I’m gonna call Reenie and let her know we talked...well, yeah, that’d be good too. I know she’d love to hear from you. I’ll have Ali text you the hospital info, ok?”

Ali nodded her head and squeezed her keeper’s leg, letting her know that she understood her next task.

“But as far as everything else...” Ashlyn shrugged and sniffled as she prepared to face the public in a few minutes...”we’ll get it all planned tomorrow, whatever you wanna do for the next step – we’ll make it happen tomorrow...”

“Tell her I love her” Ali couldn’t help herself as she quietly interjected. “Tell her we all love her...”

“Ali sends her love...yeah, she’s driving me in... Ok, I will. And the kids too. They’re probably all gonna call you or text you tonight but you don’t have to talk to anybody you don’t want to Meg. I mean it...” another pause to listen. “Alright, well I’ll let you go then, and I’ll see you soon. Tell Brandi thank you... And...just...I love you so much Meggie. So damned much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that Pride game yesterday?! Our gals looked way better than they really had any right to. They haven't played a game since last October! They looked every bit as good as NC did yesterday. Ali had 14 clearances. Ash played a great game - I love when she comes out of goal like that to beat the attacker to the ball. Most people hate when she does that but I love it. She's smart. She knew she had a better chance of making that play than waiting for somebody else to get back to stop the attack. Although, the first time she did it I think Ali could have taken care of it on her own. But who knows for sure. lol  
> Great game and a very deserving point. I'm concerned that we still can't seem to score though. That's been a problem for two seasons now. Hopefully Syd will take care of that. Both Syd and Toni looked great in their first starts since childbirth and cancer. What a pair of warriors.  
> Carrie Lawrence was the MVP for me. She's only going to get better too. Her crosses and corner kicks weren't very good, but that goal line save and that near goal crossbar shot were two of the best plays of the game.


	22. 5 Rings and a Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't think this really needs a warning, but just in case. In this chapter we learn, with Meg, about the accident and the effects it had on the victims. Nothing too graphic and it's all described after the fact - no live flashbacks or anything.

Meg and Ashlyn flew from Chicago to Washington DC the next morning, Tuesday. By the time Ashlyn had arrived at Hannah’s Chicago condo Monday night, Meg had decided it was urgent that she see her mother one last time. She was beyond upset about sitting through a stupid movie with Brandi while Ashlyn had desperately tried to reach her on the phone that evening. Meg felt guilty, even though it was ridiculous for her to punish herself that way. It became imperative for her to see her mother’s body. Nothing that anybody said to her could convince her otherwise, so Ashlyn just booked the flights and prayed for the best. Ali, on the other hand, called in the big guns when her wife told her how determined Meg was about her decision to see Hannah in the hospital morgue. When the two keepers landed at Dulles International Airport Tuesday afternoon, a car service took them to Hannah’s house – the house she and Meg had moved into after her divorce from Dev. Ashlyn checked in with Ali and then, unbeknownst to the blonde, Ali put her mom into play.

Deb, the grandma that had always been the closest to Meg, the widow whom Meg had gone out of her way to comfort when Mike Christopher died, called her eldest granddaughter while she and Ashlyn were still in the car from the airport. Ashlyn couldn’t hear much of what Deb said, but she knew from Meg’s responses that they were talking about viewing Hannah’s body one last time. By the time they pulled into the driveway in Tenleytown, Washington DC, Meg had decided not to view the body. The compromise was that she and Ashlyn would go to the hospital morgue and say goodbye to Hannah, but not do a full viewing. 

“What did Grandma say that made you change your mind?” Ashlyn asked as they got ready to head to take the same car service to the hospital after dropping their bags at the house.

“She told me that I’d always remember the way mom looked...like that” Meg lifted eyes that were red from grief and a sleepless night and looked into Ashlyn’s compassionate hazel ones, more grateful than she could have imagined to have her other mom with her in that moment. “No matter how many pictures of her I see, or how many other memories I have of her, I’ll never be able to get the last, awful look out of my mind. Not ever.” 

Meg, as Hannah’s official next of kin, had to sign for her mother’s body and belongings at the hospital morgue. Reenie had already identified the body, and she had done so to save Meg the horror of seeing Hannah’s mangled remains. The accident had been terrible, high-impact, and had finished with a fire that had been extinguished but not before the flames and smoke had taken their toll. Ashlyn arrived with Meg at the hospital, fully prepared to do the same thing for her daughter – identify Hannah’s body, but she was eternally grateful to Reenie for sparing her the same horror. There was endless paperwork to sign and initial and when Meg and Ashlyn finally were led into the viewing room of the morgue, it was almost 8pm and the end of visiting hours. The timing of their brief visit with Reenie when they first arrived at 6pm proved to be one of the smartest decisions they had made all day. 

Most morgues followed the same general procedures for loved ones viewing and claiming and identifying bodies, but there were slight variations depending on circumstances. Reenie had explained to the police and the medical examiner that Hannah’s daughter would be arriving the next day and asked them to leave the body as it was – just in case Meg needed to see it that way. Reenie was afraid of doing the wrong thing and making the tragedy even worse for sweet Meg. She knew Hannah’s daughter so well, even though the two of them weren’t that close. They were and had always been friendly to each other and there was no animosity or anything between them. But Meg saw Reenie as her mom’s friend and business partner and there wasn’t a lot of interaction between them. Hannah had always been one to bring a friend or two along with her on all of her trips and vacations, and Reenie had certainly been among them. Meg had always been appreciative when she had seen Reenie at so many of her college soccer games.

When the two keepers were brought to the stainless steel table where Hannah’s body lay covered by a white hospital sheet, Ashlyn felt Meg tense up. There was nothing to see yet, just a form beneath a sheet, but Meg felt the room tilt on her. She could sense her mom there, despite the cool temperature and the industrial metal and the antiseptic smell of cleaning solutions. 

“You ok?” Ashlyn put her arm around Meg’s waist as they stood side by side next to the table on what was the right side of Hannah’s body.

The redhead nodded and tried to calm herself down with some deep breaths as the morgue technician closed the door behind her and moved to the other side of the table. She looked like she was in her mid-40s, a short, round woman with a blotchy complexion and glasses. What Meg noticed most was the kind smile on her face and the sympathetic tone of her voice.

“We heard you’d be coming in tonight so we cleaned her up just a bit and left everything as it was” she explained slowly and surely. She watched Meg’s face carefully and continued when the young woman nodded her understanding. “I know you won’t be doing a full viewing and I think that’s best when there’s been this type of trauma. I’ve been doing this for a while now and that’s something I hear from a lot of loved ones – they wish they’d been able to remember them as they were before the... accident, in this case.”

Ashlyn’s mind was racing. Why was this woman so chatty? She just wanted to get this over with and get out of there and she was pretty sure Meg felt the same way. But the redhead just kept staring where Hannah’s head was, beneath the sheet. 

“Sometimes folks like to hold their hand one last time” the morgue technician continued, her voice still full of care and concern. “Would you like to do that miss?” she asked carefully. “You don’t have to...”

“No, I want to” Meg replied quickly, her words sounding very loud in the stillness of the room. She hadn’t known that something in between ‘full viewing’ and ‘not viewing’ was an option and it filled her with unexpected emotion.

“Alright, let’s do this here...” the technician gave Meg another warm smile as she leaned over and folded the sheet back from the edge of the table to expose Hannah’s right arm from mid-bicep down.

Meg gasped when she saw the tatters of what used to be her mom’s blouse, and the inhuman bluish hue of her skin beneath it. There were scratches on Hannah’s forearm that were bright pink because of the cleaning solution that had been used to remove other substances from the crash. Ashlyn knew they were showing them Hannah’s right side because the left side had been completely devastated by the impact of the other car. It had been a head-on collision, but the car had swerved over at an angle. That’s why Reenie had suffered, comparatively, so little injury while Hannah had taken the brunt of it. Ashlyn wanted to hug the technician for washing Hannah’s arm free of whatever blood, glass, soot, and vehicle debris had been there before Meg entered that viewing room. Those little things were actually really big things for a daughter trying to say goodbye to her mother, and Ashlyn wanted to cry out with appreciation for the considerate woman across the table from them. 

“Like I said, we cleaned her up a little bit...”

“Her rings...” Meg choked out around a sob when her eyes traveled down to her mother’s fingers. She took a few minutes and studied what she was seeing. Aside from being the wrong color skin, and the pink scratches, Hannah’s forearm and hand looked undamaged and almost totally normal. Her nails were medium length and perfectly manicured, as usual. The pretty Pamplona purple polish from her last appointment still looked almost pristine and Meg smiled despite her surroundings. “I can’t believe how good her nails look” the redhead chuckled softly and then cleared her throat, embarrassed that she had said those words out loud. The roller coaster of emotions she was riding was making her dizzy and confused.

“I’ll bet she’s happy about that” Ashlyn offered quietly. 

She wasn’t sure what was going on with Meg but she wanted to be there for her. If the young woman needed to laugh, as awkward as that felt right at that moment, then so be it. But it seemed like the redhead had gotten serious again and Ashlyn was glad she had kept her own supportive comment lowkey and reserved. There was no rule book for this and she definitely had never done anything like it before. 

“Can I...what happens to her rings...?” Meg asked timidly.

“Once you’re finished here, and there’s no rush – but once you’ve said goodbye then we’ll finish getting her ready for the funeral home” the technician explained patiently. “We’ll collect all of her personal belongings and inventory them and then they’ll get signed over to you.”

“Ok, good” Meg nodded. “Thank you.”

Ashlyn kept her arm loosely around Meg’s waist as they stood there, and she felt the redhead’s body relax once she heard the technician’s reply. As much as Ashlyn wanted to get the hell out of there, she felt compelled to stay there with Meg for as long as necessary as the young woman found some kind of temporary balance in her upside-down world. Seeing Hannah’s body, her arm anyway, had steadied Meg somehow. Ashlyn wondered if the girl had imagined something far far worse and was relieved, in an odd way, that her mother’s arm didn’t look like it had just been in a horrific car accident.

“If you don’t have any more questions for me right now, I’ll step out and give you some privacy” the technician moved towards the door, lingering to make sure Meg was ok with her leaving. When the redhead looked up and nodded her approval, the technician closed the door behind her again, saying one last thing on her way out. “I’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes. You take your time.”

Meg reached out, hesitating once halfway there before finding her strength again, and picked up her mother’s lifeless hand. She sucked in a breath, surprised by how cold it felt even though she knew it was going to feel that way.

“Do you want me to leave too?” Ashlyn’s soft, tender voice asked as she gave Meg’s hip a gentle squeeze.

“No” Meg replied quickly, turning with a slightly panicked look on her face. “Stay. Can you?”

“Of course I can” Ashlyn gave her a sidehug squeeze and a loving but serious smile. “Whatever you want honey, you just tell me.”

They were both quiet for a couple of minutes. Meg studied her mother’s hand and the vague figure beneath the sheet. Ashlyn kept her eyes moving from the table to Meg, checking for signs of distress. But how could she not be distressed? She was saying goodbye to her dead mother for fuck’s sake. The whole thing still seemed like a terrible dream that they would all wake up from at any moment.

“Her freckles really stand out now...” Meg said, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid. Of course they stood out against the lifeless skin. 

Ashlyn’s heart ached as she watched the grieving daughter use her free hand to gently pet Hannah’s forearm. It looked almost like she was smoothing the hair down that had been disturbed by the scratches and the cleaning. 

“They sure do” the blonde agreed, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Her mother used to tell her they were ugly or dirty, I forget” Meg continued in her own soft voice. “I grew up loving mine...because she...”

“Because she told you they were beautiful” Ashlyn finished for her when the tears started to fall down Meg’s grief-stricken face and no more words would come. The blonde’s voice was soothing. “I remember her doing that too.”

Ashlyn didn’t know a lot about Hannah’s past or her family, just the bare minimum. Her single mother had raised Hannah, an older sister, and a younger brother. They had never been very supportive of Hannah but would help out with baby Meg from time to time. But Ashlyn had been paying attention when she and Hannah and Meg were living together as a family, however briefly. Hannah had always gone out of her way to tell her little fair-skinned, redheaded, freckle-faced daughter just how beautiful those freckles were. Ashlyn had never known why it was so important to Hannah. Until now.

“Hey Mom...” Meg’s tremulous voice stabbed at Ashlyn’s heart as the young woman held Hannah’s hand in both of hers and addressed the sheet-covered face. “It’s me. I’m here.” 

There was a long pause as she fought with her emotions, tears streaming down her face. It was hard for Meg to get the words out through her constricting throat, but she forced them, squeaking and rasping as she did her best to say goodbye to the single most influential person in her entire life.

“Ash is with me. Reenie’s ok, she’s here in the hospital but she’s gonna be ok. I don’t know why I’m telling you this...” Meg continued after a minute and a one-handed blow of her nose with the box of tissues the technician had thoughtfully left on the small table next to them. “...I guess I just thought you’d like to know. You always like to know who I’m with...”

Meg felt a new wave of tears hit her and she had to stop again to wipe her face and blow her nose. She squeezed Ashlyn’s hand, still on her hip, before taking her mother’s again. She took 3 steadying breaths, blowing them all out carefully to try and settle herself enough to say what she wanted to say.

“I love you so much mom...” her voice cracked and she gasped for another breath. “I can’t believe you’re gone...I can’t believe...I’ll never get to hug you again or...” she couldn’t continue. 

Tears streamed down her face and dripped onto the edge of the metal table near Hannah’s lifeless hand. Whatever strength remained, left Meg in a rush and she teetered unsteadily as she sobbed and sobbed. Ashlyn moved quickly behind her and wrapped her arms around her to hold her up. It took all of her strength to keep the redhead steady when her legs gave out for a minute.

“I’ve got you baby girl...” Ashlyn assured even as she struggled with the task, grunting unceremoniously as she shifted her own weight and legs to support Meg’s unstable body. The redhead seemed to have only partial and sporadic use of her legs as the overwhelming grief wracked her body. Ashlyn dug deep and found strength she didn’t think she still had. There was no way she was going to let Meg fall. No fucking way. “Let it all out...tell her everything you need to...I’ve got you...I’ve got you.”

//

After another fitful night of bad sleep, Ashlyn found herself wandering around Hannah’s house at 7:30am on Wednesday. She had visited and even stayed in the house many times in the past, but not for several years. Everything seemed familiar and it comforted her to remember sweet or funny moments she and her young family had shared in the house during their visits. She went from smiling and chuckling, to holding her breath as a wave of sadness tugged at her, then back to a tender moment as the swirl of emotions kept going round and round. After walking through every room in the house, except for Meg’s where the grief-stricken young woman was still asleep, Ashlyn stood in the living room looking at a bookcase full of memories of the youngest Doucette woman. Hannah had arranged all of Meg’s awards there, big and small, from when she was just a little girl all the way up to her last NWSL season where she had been voted ‘Rookie of the Year’ by the Chicago Red Stars fans and supporters. 

Ashlyn grinned as she moved on to the next bookcase where Hannah kept a few actual books and some knick-knacks and other photographs and mementos. She picked up the framed picture that she had always seen prominently displayed in every place Hannah had ever lived – the picture of 1-year old Meg looking exuberant with her new pastel-colored basketball hoop and balls. It was Hannah’s favorite photo and she carried a smaller copy in her wallet as well.

“Jesus honey, that sounds so hard” Ali’s sympathetic voice soothed her wife all the way from Boston as she and Ashlyn talked on the phone a few minutes later.

The keeper had given Ali a quick rundown of things last night before collapsing into bed in the guest room. They took more time that morning to go over the details and how devastated Meg had been as she said goodbye to her mom. Ali wanted to know everything, and Ashlyn needed to talk it out and process it all too. After getting the heavy stuff out of the way and discussing Meg’s condition, and then logistics for getting the family down to the wake and funeral in the coming days, the two wives moved on to another topic of conversation.

“I think Reenie and Hannah were a thing” Ashlyn stated, seemingly out of the blue.

It surprised Ali. “What? Like a couple, romantically involved?” the brunette asked in disbelief.

Hannah’s love life had never been something Ali or Ashlyn concerned themselves with. Not since she divorced Dev anyway. It wasn’t that they didn’t care – Hannah was a part of their lives as long as Meg was, so they cared objectively for that reason, if no other. But Hannah never talked about it with either Ashlyn or Ali, which was also very understandable. The two wives had assumed that Hannah was enjoying being single and maybe dating here or there without anything serious going on. After the bitter divorce, it made sense that Hannah might not want to dive in too deep with anybody right away. But the divorce had been finalized back in early 2028 – 8-1/2 years ago. That was a long time to be single, especially for someone like Hannah who had always admitted to not loving being alone. She preached to her daughter that being alone was better than being with the wrong person, but Hannah hated being alone. But, after Dev, she never said anything about a serious relationship of any kind to anybody, not even Meg.

“Yes, like a couple” Ashlyn found herself whispering for some reason even though Meg was still sound asleep up in her childhood bedroom and there was nobody else in the house to overhear her conversation with her wife. “Geez, what did you think I meant?”

Ali bristled at the annoyance she heard in her keeper’s response, but she took her own deep breath and reminded herself that Ashlyn was in a hard place doing hard things.

“Ok...” the brunette paused as she waited for her momentary flash of anger to pass. “What makes you think that? I mean, she’s never said anything to you, right?”

“Right. As far as I know she’s only occasionally dating. But it’s not like I’ve asked her about it” Ashlyn shrugged. “And I don’t know, just little things around the house.”

“Well, like what?” Ali’s curiosity was definitely piqued.

“I don’t know...like, there’s two wine glasses in the drying rack” Ashlyn began listing off clues that had added up for her during her morning stroll through the house. “There’s two laptops on the kitchen table. There’s a phone charging pad on both nightstands in the master bedroom...”

“Alright Agatha Christie...” Ali chuckled. “You snooped in her bedroom?”

“I didn’t mean to” the keeper confessed bashfully. “I just started looking around, you know...just taking in her things here...”

“It’s ok babe, I’m not trying to make you feel bad” Ali heard the sadness in her wife’s voice and wanted to absolve her of any guilt. “You’re allowed to grieve for her too” she paused to let that sink in before moving on. “What else did you find?”

“Well, now I don’t wanna tell you that there are two toothbrushes in the master bathroom...” Ashlyn giggled softly, thankful when she heard her wife join her.

They talked some more about other hints around the house and then Ashlyn summed it all up.

“The house feels like two people live here, a couple. The only pictures here of just two people, besides Hannah and Meg...” she paused and swallowed hard as a fleeting memory of the night before at the morgue hit her, “...are Hannah and Reenie.”

“Huh” Ali pondered all the evidence along with the logical conclusion her wife had made. “Well what do you know? Hannah and Reenie...huh.” They were both quiet for a minute as their minds thought back to interactions with the newly discovered couple. Then Ali asked the big question. “Does Meg know?”

//

The answer to that was that Meg did not know her mother and Reenie were anything other than best friends who had become business partners after Hannah’s divorce settlement had made her filthy stinking rich. Ali had urged Ashlyn to tell Meg and make sure that Reenie was involved in all of the decisions about Hannah and her services going forward. That day, Wednesday, was the big day when all of those things had to be tackled. When and where was the wake going to be? And the funeral? Who were going to be pallbearers? Who was going to give the eulogy?

When Meg finally woke up, Ashlyn made her a big breakfast and they ate together in an odd state of peace and denial. If neither of them said anything about anything, then they could pretend, just for an hour, that it was a normal morning and that everything was still ok. It worked until Charlie called, wanting to know what the plans were so he could make sure to get there in time. While Meg was happy to hear from him, he always made her feel better – no matter what, Ashlyn could see the disappointment on her face as she walked into the other room to take the call. Their brief pretend normalcy was over and it wasn’t coming back. Ashlyn was disappointed too.

“I think the first thing we should do is go see Reenie” Ashlyn replied an hour later to Meg’s request about what to do next. “We need to pick up your mom’s things too. I think we should do that and then go visit Reenie. Maybe bring her lunch. She doesn’t have any internal injuries so her diet shouldn’t be restricted at all...”

“Ok” Meg furrowed her brow, confused. “Don’t you think we should get the wake and the funeral dates set first though? Don’t you think Ali will want to know when those are?” she paused for a quick second and dropped her eyes. Her voice changed and she sounded like she was a shy 10-year old again. “I mean, if she’s thinking of coming...” 

“Of course she’s coming kiddo” Ashlyn reached across the corner of the kitchen table and rubbed the redhead’s shoulder. “Everybody’s coming.”

“Everybody?”

“I think just about everybody” Ashlyn nodded as she thought back to her conversation with Ali earlier that morning. “They all want to be here for you, with you.”

It made Ashlyn sad to think that Meg doubted that. But, as she had to keep reminding herself almost hourly, this grief thing was incredibly difficult to navigate. Helping Whitney through her mother’s death back in May had been hard too, but this was so much more intense. There were so many emotions and they all came at you in strange ways and at odd times. And this was Meg she was trying to support – her kid! It was especially challenging because of the shock and unexpectedness of Hannah’s death. Nobody saw it coming and there was no way to be even remotely prepared to deal with it. Not for anybody who knew Hannah, and especially not for those who had loved her as much as Meg, and apparently Reenie, did.

Ashlyn pushed the subject of visiting Reenie until Meg got frustrated with her and stormed out of the room. It took the older keeper almost an hour to explain what she had discovered that morning and to help the shell-shocked younger keeper come to grips with the revelation about Hannah and Reenie. But Meg, even grieving, emotionally unbalanced, unpredictable Meg, agreed that Reenie needed to be involved. Meg seemed to be numb about the surprise relationship. Probably more shocked into silence as a coping mechanism than anything else. 

When they got to Reenie’s hospital room after signing for and receiving Hannah’s personal belongings, the patient was sitting up in bed and the doctor was just finishing her last examination. Irene ‘Reenie’ Vega looked good for what she had just gone through, all things considered. She was usually a youthful-looking 54-year old, except she looked, and probably felt, 154 that day. Reenie was 5’8”, not quite as tall as Ashlyn but taller than Ali, and she had short black hair that she sometimes wore in a spiky style when the spirit moved her. She was stocky, but tall enough to keep that from being her defining feature. She wore dark-rimmed glasses and looked like a cross between Rachel Maddow and Ellen DeGeneres. Reenie looked like she should be tending bar in a trendy lesbian university town somewhere. She was originally from South Carolina and she had the southern drawl that came from that birthplace. But Reenie had spent a lot of time traveling to different cities growing up so she had a street-smart brashness that seemed at odds with that southern charm, until you got to know her. She balanced both sides of her personality out beautifully. 

Ashlyn had met Reenie back in January of 2014 when she had begun casually dating Hannah while still playing for the Washington Spirit. Reenie was a member of Hannah’s close group of friends, but always seemed to be a class above the rest of them. She was smarter and more capable then Hannah’s other friends and that had intimidated the pretty redhead at first. But the more Hannah got to know Reenie, the better friends they became. Ashlyn’s favorite thing about Reenie, aside from her sarcastic sense of humor and her expensive taste in whiskey, was the fact that she had hated Dev Karmacharya from the get go. Her friendship with Hannah suffered while the redhead was with Dev, but Reenie was the first one to step in when Hannah needed help during the divorce. Reenie was quiet until you got to know her well. She let her sarcasm drop softly but with devastating effect. 

Reenie and Hannah had been virtually inseparable since the divorce and much of it had been explained by their new business partnership. Hannah used her new wealth from the divorce settlement to start her own event planning company and the first thing she did was hire her good friend Reenie to help her run it. It was, to that very day, a hugely successful company that both women took great pride in. Anybody who was anybody in the Washington, DC area had hired Reenie and Hannah to organize one of their events over the past seven or so years. Reenie was a wizard with numbers and had a brilliant business acumen. She became Hannah’s business manager and financial advisor too, and helped the redhead grow her wealth substantially over the years with real estate and other savvy investments. Reenie and Hannah were good together in every way, including, it turns out, romantically. But that hadn’t been discussed yet with Meg or Ashlyn as they took in the view from the doorway of the hospital room.

Reenie had her heavily casted left arm in a blue sling with a compression pillow device between it and her left hip. Her recently repaired broken nose was bandaged and she had packing in both nostrils and the customary two black eyes to go with the injury. She had other bruises and scrapes on her forehead and her right arm and a pretty deep gash on her left calf, but that was it for her injuries aside from the concussion. She had been incredibly lucky and she knew it. None of the physical damage to her body hurt nearly as much as the pain of her broken heart though. Both Ashlyn and Meg viewed the woman through a much different lens now. They recognized someone who was grieving a great loss too – just like Meg was.

“You’re ok to be released” the doctor smiled at Reenie who looked surprised by the news. “Your concussion symptoms are much improved and there’s no reason to keep you here for broken bones. I’m sure you’d rather be home in your own bed anyway.”

“Uh, yes, yes of course” Reenie’s soft drawl replied after a brief delay to let her brain catch up. It had only been a mild concussion, but her head still felt a little fuzzy. Maybe it was the shock and grief. 

“Good, I’ll make sure we get you sent right home then” the doctor smiled again. She motioned towards Ashlyn and Meg who were in the doorway, unsure of whether or not to continue into the room during such a personal moment. “Maybe your family can get you some real lunch on the way home too.”

“Oh, uh...” Reenie stammered but the busy doctor just kept right on going.

“It won’t be long. I’ll have the wheelchair brought in and you’ll be on your way in about a half hour. Sound good? Good” she nodded on her way towards the door and her next patient. “Good luck Ms. Vega.”

Once the doctor and the nurse left, Ashlyn and Meg approached the bed with slightly uncomfortable half smiles on their faces. There was an awkward moment of silence before Ashlyn spoke up.

“We planned on getting you real lunch today, we just thought one of us would run out and get it and bring it back here” she explained. “We didn’t know you were getting discharged today...”

“Neither did I” Reenie nodded and returned a sad smile. “But I’m glad. I can’t wait to get the hell outta here” she lowered her voice and closed her eyes solemnly.

“Is somebody coming to pick you up?” Meg asked, suddenly remembering that Reenie didn’t have a lot of family in the DC area – maybe not any at all. The redhead felt a pang of frustration at not knowing the answer because her mother had chosen to keep her apparently very serious and committed relationship hidden from her.

“No, I mean...yes, I’ll call somebody” Reenie answered as she reached stiffly for her phone.

“Well we can take you home” Ashlyn suggested quickly, glancing at Meg who looked uncomfortable but it was difficult to know why. “We can stop for lunch too. Or we can get lunch after we get you home...”

Ashlyn was so busy trying to find a solution that would work for the patient that she missed the crestfallen look on Reenie’s face. But Meg saw it. She saw it and she recognized it and it made her heart ache inside her chest again. All of a sudden, pieces of the puzzle fell into place for the redhead. She’d been trying to reconcile her memory and knowledge of Reenie Vega the bestie and business partner who had always been fun to be around, with the new reality of Reenie Vega – woman who was in love with her mother Hannah. Everything was still mixed up in Meg’s mind, but as she stood there listening to Ashlyn prattling on, she saw the truth right before her very eyes. Every time Ashlyn said the word ‘home’ Reenie twitched, just a bit. 

“We’re in your home right now, aren’t we?” Meg asked evenly. She wasn’t trying to control the tone of her voice but she didn’t understand enough yet to feel one way or the other about all the new things she was learning that day. “You live in our...Mom’s...” the redhead tripped over the words for a few seconds. “You and mom lived together, in the house.”

“Oh, shit...” Ashlyn exhaled as the reality hit her too. She and Ali had assumed Reenie was just at the house a lot and had spent the weekends there or something like that. It hadn’t occurred to them that she lived there with Hannah full time. “Reenie, I’m sorry...”

“No, it’s ok” the patient managed the smallest of smiles as she rubbed her temple with her good, right hand. “Yes, Meg. Yes” she nodded at the redhead, not wanting her question to go unanswered. “And you don’t have to be sorry Ash. Not about the house anyway.”

The three women looked at each other for a full minute, nobody sure exactly what should happen next. Ashlyn was just about to say something dumb in her anxiety, but the nurse came in with Reenie’s discharge instructions and distracted them all. After listening carefully to the nurse for 15 minutes as she read through the list, there was one topic left to cover.

“Is someone coming to pick you up?” the nurse asked Reenie and made more notes about her reply. “And will there be somebody at home for you if you need help?”

“We’re taking her home.”  
“That’s us.”

Ashlyn and Meg both spoke at the same time, surprising each other and sharing a shy grin when they realized they were on the same page.

“Ok good...” the nurse included them in the conversation about changing the bandage on the leg gash, concussion symptoms and what to do if they got worse, or if there were any problems with the broken arm or broken nose early recovery. “You’re all set.”

//

Several hours later, after getting Reenie home and situated on the comfortable couch in the living room of Hannah’s house, her own home, eating lunch and then relaxing a bit in the peace and quiet, the talk that they had all been longing for and dreading at the same time finally took place.

“You’re sure you’re comfortable?” Ashlyn asked one last time as she and Meg settled into their own comfy spots in the warm, inviting room. “The sheets will be dry in a few minutes and then I’ll go change the guestroom bed for you.”

“Thanks Ash” Reenie sipped the tea from the tray Meg had placed across her lap a few minutes earlier. The patient was sitting with her legs up on the ottoman in front of her, her broken left arm protected by the arm of the couch. 

It had been another awkward conversation after lunch about sleeping arrangements once Reenie had convinced Ashlyn not to get a hotel room for either herself or Meg for the rest of their stay. The patient had offered to go stay at her own condo – the one she had always kept and still used whenever Meg came to stay at her mother’s house. But Ashlyn and Meg wouldn’t hear of it. They were the ones who felt like intruders. All three of them staying at the house was finally agreed upon, but poor Reenie couldn’t bear to sleep in the master bedroom. She wasn’t ready for any of that yet. The alternative, besides the guest room Ashlyn was already in, was the 4th bedroom on the second floor of the modest but upscale colonial home. That bedroom had been converted to an office when Reenie had begun living there full time. Hannah’s office downstairs was just that – Hannah’s office. But the two women only needed one bedroom upstairs, not four, so the solution had been easy enough. Reenie’s 2nd-floor office had a couch that was a modern style daybed that could be used for additional sleeping arrangements if necessary. It had just become necessary and Ashlyn would be sleeping there starting that night.

“So, I guess you guys have some questions” Reenie began with what had been intended as an easy quip but was delivered without enough levity behind it to pull it off. 

Reenie sounded like she looked – tired and devastated. What she really wanted was a shower. One of Hannah’s oldest and dearest friends, Monique, was coming over in a couple of hours to take care of Reenie more personally. Both Meg and Ashlyn knew Monique well – anybody that had any kind of relationship with Hannah knew Monique. She wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but she was one of Hannah’s most loyal and loving friends. The plan that afternoon was for Reenie and Meg to talk. Then they had to finalize arrangements for Hannah’s services. Then they had to try and find a way to simply get through the day and onto the next one. Somehow.

“Well, yeah, lots of them” Meg replied as she tucked her feet up underneath her in the big armchair right next to Reenie’s end of the couch. Ashlyn sat on the far end of the couch, trying her best not to move at all or disturb Reenie or the tray or the tea. “But we don’t have to...”

“No, you’ve waited long enough” Reenie cut her off with a heavy sigh as she set her teacup down again. “More than long enough. What do you want to know? Ask away.”

Reenie spent the next half hour telling them the fairly typical tale of two close friends realizing that they were more than just friends. In their story, Hannah had been the one to develop feelings first, but she hid them from everybody, including Reenie, until Meg was almost out of high school. But from that point on, for almost the past 7 years, Reenie and Hannah had been in a committed relationship and very happy together. 

“But, why didn’t she tell me?” Meg’s pained voice broke both Ashlyn and Reenie’s hearts. 

For a moment, Reenie felt a flash of anger towards Hannah and waited for it to pass before continuing.

“Oh, Meg...” she sighed again as regret and remorse filled her bruised and bandaged face. “Your mom thought it would be best to just keep it between the two of us...”

“So none of your other friends knew about you guys?” the redhead raised a doubtful eyebrow.

“No, they knew...”

“So you just kept it from me then” Meg’s accusation filled the space around them with tension. 

Ashlyn couldn’t blame the girl for being upset. She was a little pissed herself and her relationship with Hannah was miles and miles farther apart than Meg’s was. Ashlyn’s role there though was to support and protect, if necessary, Meg. Her manners urged her to try and smooth over the first rough spot in the conversation, but her maternal instincts told her to keep her mouth shut and let Reenie deal with her own mess.

“No, not just you” the patient winced as she tried to shift her position on the couch. The tray was in her way and she was getting agitated with both it and the questioning.

“I’ll just move this” Ashlyn picked up the tray and put it on an end table, out of the way. “Let me know if you want your tea” she said as she placed the cup and saucer on the end table closest to Reenie. It was on her left side so she wouldn’t be able to reach the cup on her own.

“Our closest friends knew, but it’s not like we were out at work or anything” Reenie tried to explain. “Your mom just thought it would be best...”

“To keep a 7-year relationship from me” Meg nodded as her anger spiked again. She hadn’t intended to get so upset, but she couldn’t help it. 

“But why?” Ashlyn picked up the question, her voice much calmer and steadier. “Did she think Meg would have a problem with you guys being together? I think that’s what’s so hard to understand” she glanced at the redhead and then looked at Reenie again. “I don’t want to speak for Meg, but I’m pretty sure if Hannah was happy then she would have been happy for her too.”

“Exactly!” Meg’s shrill voice was louder than she intended and it surprised all three of them. “I’m sorry” she slumped her shoulders and rubbed her head with both hands as she rambled. “I’m a mess...I’m just...everything’s such a shock for me...I can’t...”

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in and I’m sorry for that” Reenie offered softly. “Truly, I am. But it’s what your mother wanted” she shrugged sadly. “If it makes you feel any better, she was planning to tell you this Christmas.”

“She was?” Meg looked up and let her hands fall into her lap.

“Yes” Reenie nodded slowly, her head aching badly. “She was hoping we could all go to Aspen for Christmas this year – Charlie too. She was going to tell you then” her voice hitched as she spoke and fought her emotions. She was trying to be strong for Meg because she knew that’s what Hannah would want. “I’m so sorry Meggie...” she choked out as tears started to fall down her face.

Whatever hostility Meg felt for Reenie or the situation they found themselves in at the moment disappeared as she watched the injured woman weep. None of this was Reenie’s fault, that much Meg was sure of. She was sitting there just as heartbroken as the redhead was – even moreso because she had lost her love.

“I’m sorry Reen...I’m sorry...” Meg cooed as she got up and moved next to the grieving woman on the couch. Ashlyn got up to make room and Meg was careful and surprisingly gentle as she knelt next to Reenie’s good right side and hugged her.

Ashlyn watched the two women cry out their shared grief for as long as she could take it, pacing slowly back and forth, then she went into the kitchen to find something to do. When she came back 15 minutes later with some snacks she had found in the cupboard, Reenie and Meg were sitting close together on the couch, clearly over any animosity that had arisen from the unconventional situation.

“Hey Ash, can you get the envelope from the hospital while you’re up?” Meg asked softly, her face streaked with tears but looking a little bit lighter too. “Please?” 

When Meg opened the large 9 x 12” storage envelope and poured her mother’s personal belongings out onto the couch between she and Reenie, all three women held their breath for a few seconds. It was surprising how few items had been inside the envelope. Hannah’s purse, wallet, phone, and other belongings were still with the police, recovered from the totaled car. What lay on the couch were Hannah’s glasses, 5 rings, a necklace, a watch, a bracelet, and one earring. The other earring was not on her person when she was brought in, which was a disturbing thought. And the two rings Hannah had worn on her left hand had needed to be cut off of her fingers in the morgue. Meg had decided she didn’t want what was left of the clothes her mother had been wearing that night and had asked for them to be thrown away at the morgue. Everything on the couch looked expensive and most things were familiar to Meg once she had calmed her heartrate down enough to really look at them.

Ashlyn watched the two people who loved Hannah the most in the whole world share a moment that they should never have had to share – at least not for 20 or so more years anyway. It was gut-wrenching to watch Meg and Reenie pick up each piece of jewelry and talk about it. Meg had stories and Reenie had stories and, through those stories, it was as if they were talking and Hannah was in the room with them – right there between them on the couch.

“This is the one from her Grandmother” Meg picked up the thin gold ring with the three tiny diamonds embedded in the top of it. Hannah wore it on her right ring finger almost every day. “Mom said her Grandma gave it to her instead of Aunt Pam because her Grandma said she was the pretty one” the redhead shook her head as she shared the story Hannah had told her time and again when she had been a girl and Meg had asked about her jewelry.

“And I’ll bet Pam’s still pissed about it” Reenie added knowingly.

“I would be too if I was the oldest and my grandma gave my little sister the family heirloom ring because she was the ‘pretty one’” Meg rolled her eyes. “I guess we know where Mom’s mom got it from.”

“I do not miss that woman” Reenie sighed and gave the redhead a small smile as she referenced Hannah’s mother. It felt good to be sharing this time, this ritual with Meg. She knew without any doubt that Hannah would be very pleased. “Your mom told me that her mom never once gave any of them a single compliment. Not once. Unbelievable.”

“I don’t remember her much, and I’m ok with that” Meg added as she put the ring back down and watched Reenie pick up another one.

“This is your birthstone ring” she explained to the redhead with another small smile. Hannah wore it on the middle finger of her left hand and it had been cut at the hospital so they could get it off of her mangled hand. “It goes with the necklace” she pointed to the thin gold necklace with the beautiful aquamarine stone pendant that was just out of her reach on the couch. “See?”

“She got that for her birthday this year, right?” Meg tried to remember all the way back to January. 

It was hard not to focus on the broken band but she did her best. If she let herself think about the broken band then it was just a tiny step further to think about her mother’s left hand – the hand she hadn’t seen. And she hadn’t seen it for a reason that she had to try hard not to cry about. She was glad she didn’t have to remember her mother like that. Deb had been right. Having that final goodbye with Hannah’s right arm and hand had been enough. 

“I saw them in March when she came to visit for my birthday” the redhead added as she brought her thoughts back to the ring and necklace with the matching aquamarine gems.

“MmmHmmm” Reenie nodded sadly. A look of melancholy had filled her face and Meg noticed.

“You got these for her, didn’t you?” the redhead asked quietly after a thoughtful pause, frowning as Reenie nodded her reply. “They’re beautiful. I know she loved them a lot. She told me she did.”

“Yeah, she did” Reenie agreed sadly.

The other ring that had been cut off of Hannah’s left hand had been worn on her ring finger. It had never occurred to Meg, but now that she knew about her mom and Reenie, she recognized the ring as something that Reenie wore on her own left ring finger too. They weren’t official matching, identical rings, but the same amethyst stone and color factored prominently in both. Hannah loved her purple.

“This one’s for you” the redhead picked it up and studied it carefully before passing it to Reenie in her open palm. “I always liked it. It means a lot more now that I know more” she spoke reverently, wanting to honor her mother’s relationship in some way, even though she hadn’t been privy to it until that very day.

“I had to take mine off because my arm and hand are so swollen right now” Reenie brought Hannah’s ring to her lips and kissed it solemnly. They all paused for a minute after that.

The other ring that was new to Meg was a sheath-like ring Hannah wore on the middle finger of her right hand. It was silver and had a pattern pounded into it that looked like a butterfly made out of pinholes.

“This one’s new...” Meg looked tentatively at Reenie to see if she was ok to continue.

“Yeah, she bought that just last week, after your game” the patient smiled at the memory. “Said she was gonna switch her right hand over to silver. But she couldn’t give up this one” Reenie smiled as she picked up the last and smallest of the 5 rings. It was a gold band that was comprised of two strands entwined together in an endless loop design. “She loved this one a lot.”

Meg recognized the ring but felt embarrassed that she didn’t know it was significant to her mother. She had seen that ring on her mother’s right pinky finger for years and never given it much thought at all. It wasn’t flashy. It didn’t have a pretty stone. It seemed very basic and it paled in comparison to the others her mother often wore.

“How come?” Meg asked quietly, afraid to admit that she had never bothered to ask her mother herself. Guilt flooded her system but she fought it back so she could concentrate on the ring and the answer.

Reenie looked at Ashlyn, gently cocking her head to one side as she tried to see if the older keeper knew the story. Ashlyn held her gaze but didn’t react in any other way. She had been sitting there listening to the ring stories, feeling guilty for only knowing about Hannah’s wicked grandmother’s ring. Hannah loved to tell that story because she thought it was outrageous. It embarrassed her to tell that story about her awful grandmother, but she wore the ring as a sign of survival. She hadn’t had the best childhood, but she had found a way to survive and succeed on her own terms. She also loved the ring because it made her older sister Pam angry and jealous. Pam had been so mean to Hannah growing up that still, all these years later, the redhead wore that ring with pleasure just knowing it pissed her sister off.

“Do you know this one Ash?” Reenie asked, genuinely unsure of the answer as she held the small, fifth ring.

“Um, no” the blonde shook her head. “Will you tell us?”

“I don’t think Han told anybody about this one, not even Monique” Reenie took a deep breath and shifted her weight a bit to try and get comfortable again before continuing. It was almost time for more pain medicine and her body was aching. “It took her a long time to tell me too, so don’t feel bad” she gave them both a warm smile – the warmest she could muster in all the sadness they shared. “She called this the ring that taught her what real love was. She got it from the first person she ever fell in love with, real love. They exchanged rings when you were still in her belly” Reenie put the ring in Meg’s palm and gave her hand a squeeze as she continued the story.

“Your mom left home a couple years after high school. There wasn’t much keeping her there in Clinton, MD besides the handsome young air force airmen and officers from nearby Andrews Air Force Base. She had followed in her mom and Pam’s footsteps and taken a job waitressing. She was young and having fun and not doing much else, as she put it. But her grandmother was right – your mom was so much more beautiful than that town could handle. She and a couple of friends decided to move into DC, right into the city so they could make more money at bigger bars and afford all the nicer things they wanted.”

“Her first job in the city was at Hooters” Meg offered. “That much I remember her telling me.”

“That’s right” Reenie nodded. “She worked there for a couple of years and then she moved to a more upscale bar in a wealthier part of the city. That’s where I first met her, back in 2010 or maybe 2011, I can’t remember exactly. But we hit it off right away and became friends. Your mom was gorgeous and she had every guy within 100 yards after her back then” Reenie chuckled. “Some of us, her friends, we’d bet on who she’d go home with” she chuckled again and checked in to make sure she wasn’t horrifying Meg with her story yet. “You ok with this? I mean, everybody was having a good time, it’s not like your mom was the only person partying or anything...”

“No, it’s fine” Meg tried to sound cool, but inwardly she was cringing. She didn’t really need to hear about the random guys her mom hooked up with in her early 20s. “Keep going.”

“Well, sure enough, Han got pregnant – with you” Reenie rubbed Meg’s arm affectionately. “She wasn’t sure what to do, but the one thing she knew without a doubt was that she was keeping the baby, no matter what. I remember being impressed by that because a lot of girls in her position were making different decisions about it. No judgment from me either way, but deciding to have a baby when you’re young and dumb and when the way you make your living is looking good and working all night at bars and clubs – well that was a bold decision. But your mom never doubted herself or her decision. She doubted almost everything else in her life, but not that. Not you.”

“I know she wasn’t close with her family back then either” Ashlyn added. “It was really just her on her own, wasn’t it?”

“Absolutely” Reenie nodded. “We were all trying to figure out what we could do to help her but before we could even come up with some kind of plan, our friend Val moved your mom into her apartment with her and that was that.”

“Wasn’t Val a guy?” Meg asked, confused by the pronouns.

“No, no” Reenie laughed softly. “Valerie was one of us, one of the gang that hung out in the bar that was too expensive for most of us but was where you could find yourself a catch on any given night, if you were lucky. Anyway, we had all become really good friends and we were happy that Val had stepped up like that. She made more money than most of us because she worked for a company that handled defense contracts for the government. She was a secretary but even the secretaries got paid well for their...discretion and cooperation, shall we say.”

“What are you saying?” Ashlyn asked this time. “Were they doing something illegal at Val’s company?”

“What? Oh God no. It’s just that if one of those defense contractors wanted to get work with the government, they had to be squeaky clean, or at least look like they were squeaky clean. So the workers got paid well enough so there was incentive to do that. That’s all.”

“So were Val and mom dating?”

“No, well not at first. Your mom was strictly into guys until she fell for Val. It probably should have been a sign that her closest friends were all lesbians though. But her whole world changed after that, after moving in with Val, and that’s why she loves...” Reenie winced at her mistake, “...loved that ring so much.”

“And Val fell for her too?” Meg asked hopefully.

“Oh she sure did. I think Val was in love with her before she ever moved her in, but she denied it so I guess we have to take her at her word” Reenie picked up the story. “Val took excellent care of your mom and you. She was there every step of the way during the pregnancy and they fell in love. She was a little bit older so she was more settled and ready to commit to someone, have a family, all of that. That’s when they exchanged rings and agreed to be a family, to raise you together. I’d never seen your mom so happy before, and not for a very long time afterwards.”

“She was really happy?”

“She was more than really happy. She was in love for the very first time in her life. She was a little freaked out that it was with a woman, but she got over that real fast. We were all happy for both of them.”

Ashlyn had a frown on her face because she knew that the relationship with Val had not ended well. That was just about all she knew about the woman who dated Hannah before she had, but she knew for a fact that the redhead had been crushed by the end of that relationship.

“And that’s when Ashlyn came into the picture, at the end of that time...”

“Wait, wait, what happened?” Meg stopped the story from moving too quickly past a point she needed clarified. “Mom was madly in love for the first time in her life, they’re raising me together as a family...then we skip to she’s a single mom who meets Ash?”

Reenie and Ashlyn exchanged a quick glance and the dark-haired woman shrugged her shoulders and yelped in pain when it caused her broken arm to bump into the arm of the couch.

“Ouch! Shit, that hurt” Reenie grimaced. “Alright, yeah ok well, obviously it didn’t turn out the way anybody thought it would or you and I wouldn’t be sitting here like this today” she gave Meg a soft smile. “They were in love and I’d never seen your mom happier. That’s absolutely true. But then Val left...”

“She just left?” Meg’s eyebrows were up high as she tried to understand. “What happened?” she asked as she tried to work through some memories of those events on her own at the same time. Hannah didn’t like to talk about it too much so they didn’t, but occasionally Meg got her mom to answer a question or two about that time in their lives. “People don’t just leave if they’re in love. I’d never just leave Charlie.”

“No, I don’t suppose you would” Reenie agreed with a tired smile. “And Val didn’t want to either, but she wasn’t given much of a choice.”

“Her job” a lightbulb went off in Ashlyn’s mind as she sat there listening and trying to do the same thing Meg was doing – piecing together little bits of the story that Hannah had shared. “She couldn’t be gay and keep her job...”

“Bingo” Reenie pointed to her tea and Ashlyn got up and helped her hold it in her lap for a few sips.

“But you can’t get fired for being gay” Meg stated the facts as she knew them.

“Back then you could. 2013 was a different time Meg” Ashlyn explained. “That’s when she left, right? End of 2013?” she directed the question towards the patient, but she already knew the answer.

“Yes, that’s right. Val left just before Christmas of that year” Reenie answered and then looked at Meg. “You were almost 1-1/2 that Christmas.”

All of a sudden another puzzle piece fell into place for Meg and her jaw dropped open.

“She’s the one who took the picture. Mom’s favorite picture...” Meg spoke fast as she got up and moved to the bookcase across the room. “I’ve never seen mom look this happy. Not ever” Meg grabbed the photo of herself as a toddler playing with her new pastel colored basketball hoop and came back to the couch. “I looked at this picture my whole dumb life and never noticed mom was even in it until I was a junior in high school” she rolled her eyes, still disappointed in herself for being so narrow-minded and short-sighted for so long. “I asked her about it once, right here in this room” her voice started to shake a little as she talked.

“You’re right Meggie. I looked at that photo this morning and your mom looks happier there than I’ve ever seen either” Ashlyn added supportively. “What did she say when you asked her about it?”

“She said that she had been happier than ever before in her whole life in that picture” Meg’s voice was hushed as she fought her emotions swirling around inside her. “But...but Val broke her heart. How could she still love that picture so much? It would have killed me to look at it as much as she did, knowing that the person I loved chose her job over me and our family...”

“Don’t be too hard on Val now, you’re named after her you know” Reenie cautioned, sensing a flood of anger about to be unleashed on the secretary who wasn’t there to defend herself. When both Ashlyn and Meg looked back at her with open mouths and wide eyes, Reenie realized that neither of them had known about Meg’s name.

“I’m named after Val?” Meg finally managed to squeak out. “How do you figure that?”

“Valerie Margaret Samuels...” Reenie stated simply before adding some context. “Your mom knew she was going to give you her last name, obviously, because she didn’t know who the father was and didn’t care to try and find out. Why should she? She had the love of her life with her back then, by her side, doing everything she could imagine wanting a father to do for her. But she wanted part of Val to be with you always – in your name, just like Doucette would always be there. She also wanted to give that to Val as a kind of a thank you for everything she’d done for both of you by then.”

“Valerie Margaret Samuels...” Meg repeated as her mind was blown. “Jesus. I don’t know how many more of these surprises I can take today” she said flatly, no emotion left in her voice at all.

“Well let’s focus on the good parts of the story then. Why do you suppose your mom wore that ring all this time?” Reenie posed the question that brought the story all the way back to the unremarkable ring that had started it all in the first place. “She kept the picture and the ring and loved them both with all her heart. Why?”

“I have no idea” Meg shook her head and slumped her shoulders, disappointed to be missing the point.

“To remind her that true love is possible” Ashlyn ventured a guess, based on what she knew of Hannah from their brief time together as lovers as well as their 22 years as co-parents.

“That’s right” Reenie gave the older keeper an approving smile. “Nice Ash...very nice.”

“Because it was the first time she’d ever felt real love, with Val” Meg whispered as she put it all together. “It ended badly, with a broken heart for them both, but at least she got something out of it – the knowledge that real love was out there... somewhere...”

“She told me she had stopped wearing it towards the end of her marriage to Dev” Reenie continued to share something she knew Hannah hadn’t told anybody else about her favorite ring. “After she left him, all through that horrible divorce and all the stress he caused and all the dirty tricks and crap he pulled...” Reenie had to stop herself and take a deep breath to calm down. Her head was pounding after the emotional conversation which was only making her concussion symptoms worse. “After all of that, she had the ring re-sized to fit her pinky finger and promised herself that she’d wear it every day for the rest of her life no matter what.”

Both Ashlyn and Meg were quiet for a minute, absorbing the story and the significance of the ring. Ashlyn was always surprised when such a deep thought came from Hannah. She didn’t mean it in a bitchy way, but it was true. Hannah tried not to get bogged down in too many things. She was often impatient if a problem didn’t have a quick solution that she could find or buy right away. But every once in a while she came out with a deep, insightful, enlightening idea that completely threw Ashlyn for a loop. To think that Hannah had clung to such a romanticized notion about love after everything she’d been through in her unfinished life...it made Ashlyn feel something she hadn’t felt for her ex in a very long time. Compassion. True, sincere, heartfelt compassion. 

“Can I still take one?” Meg’s small voice brought Ashlyn out of her thoughts and back to the present as she watched the daughter asking the secret girlfriend and partner for a piece of her own mother’s jewelry. “I know you said it was ok, but are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure” Reenie reached for Meg’s hand and held it as their eyes met. Her voice was full of emotion as she answered. “You can have anything you want. All of it, if you want. She’s your mom. She’d want you to have whatever you want, always. And that’s what I want too.”

They held their gaze for a few seconds more and then Meg studied the small, ordinary looking gold ring in the palm of her other hand as her heart swelled with love for her mother – the woman who had always been there for her no matter what. Meg looked up at Reenie again with a grateful smile and spoke with a tremble in her voice.

“I’d like to keep this one. I don’t think I’ll need to be reminded, but just in case, if I ever do, I’ll have this ring. I’ll think of mom and how much she loved it - and the idea that love is always possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally get to share Hannah's backstory with you all. Whew. Back in Part 1 of this story, when everybody wanted to kill Hannah (for good reason), I had this background already written for the character so I was a bit more sympathetic. Hannah was still a bitch back then - no doubt about it. But she had never been taught any better, really. She had to learn the hard way and teach herself how to be a better human being. It was a work in progress, as it is for most of us. Anyway - there's the formative story of Hannah. Tell me what you think, please.


	23. Goodbye Hannah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter focusing on Hannah's death. I have to say, it's nice to finally get her backstory out there for you. I know she was the villain of the piece in the early days and it was hard to see her as anything other than a one-dimensional bitch who functioned as a plot piece. But here's some of what made her tick. Hope you like it. If not, well - she's dead now so you won't have to worry about her anymore. :)

The funeral for Hannah Doucette was very well attended. She was, after all, a popular and successful businesswoman in the Washington, DC area. The DMV, the District of Columbia – Maryland – Virginia region that was located inside the Interstate 495 Beltway surrounding the nation’s capital, was the place that Hannah had called home her whole life. Technically, she had spent her school years just outside the Beltway in Clinton, Maryland, but it didn’t matter. She was a DMV resident through and through. All of her friends were there. Every job she’d ever had, besides her first waitressing gig back in Clinton, was located in the DMV. Her own business was booming right from its home base there in the city of DC. Most importantly, every childhood memory of her daughter Meg was from there. The DMV and its inhabitants had shaped and molded and formed the woman Hannah had become, both the good parts of her and the bad. And even though she owned condos in Boston, Chicago, and Aspen, Colorado - the house in Tenleytown, in the DMV, would always be Hannah’s one true home.

Surprisingly, at least to most who knew her, Hannah had died leaving a well-reasoned and very detailed last will and testament with her personal, not her business, attorney. Reenie Vega, in addition to being her life partner and business partner, was also her financial advisor. But not even she knew about the final arrangements Hannah had made with the expensive and very reputable estate attorney. The legal battles the redhead had endured during her divorce from Dev had made a powerful impression on her. She had learned, firsthand, that whenever money was involved, it was vital to have every detail spelled out clearly for everybody. Hannah knew there were people in her life who would not do the right thing. Those people would lie and cheat and steal if it benefitted them in any way. She knew she had to outsmart those friends – and family – so they would never be able to make any claims on what Hannah had worked so hard for all her life. Yes, she considered marrying and divorcing Dev to be hard work of its own.

Hannah had been a hard worker, when it suited her. She understood the benefits of it perfectly well. She had worked hard to get out of Clinton, MD shortly after high school. She had worked hard to find a better waitressing job than Hooters. She had worked hard to get into the catering and events planning business as a single mother, starting at the bottom and working her way up to become the company’s best event coordinator. She had become the person her bosses relied on for all of the important, exclusive, VIP events their company got hired to organize and run. And then, with the money she received in the divorce settlement, Hannah had started her own business catering to those wealthy clients she had so impressed while at her previous job. 

But Hannah, like everybody else, didn’t want to work hard any more than she had to. With her money she hired smart, capable people to help her run her business and keep it successful, so she didn’t have to work so hard anymore. Her good friend, and secret life partner, Reenie Vega had been her first and best hire in that regard. Reenie’s talent and competence allowed Hannah to spend her time and money following Meg around the country for four years at BC, and then for her first year and a half in the NWSL. Both Meg and Reenie factored heavily in Hannah’s will – but that was a story for after the funeral.

“So, how do you want to do this honey?” Ashlyn asked her grieving daughter when the two were finally alone the day after the emotional talk with Reenie. She smiled softly when she saw Hannah’s beloved gold ring from Val hanging around Meg’s neck as they sat facing each other on the redhead’s childhood twin bed in the Tenleytown house. “Your mom’s lawyer...what’s his name...” the older keeper tried to recall and then moved on without the information. “He says your mom wanted you to do what you wanted for the services” she held up the copy of Hannah’s instructions that the attorney had delivered in person that morning. “It’s been a few hours...I know it’s a lot to think about, but we should really...”

“I know, I know” Meg sighed heavily, whined, and then slumped down farther in the bed. 

It was 1:00pm on Thursday October 2nd, and she hadn’t gotten up yet. Ashlyn and Reenie had met with Harold Dumaine, Hannah’s personal estate attorney, that morning after Meg declined. She decided to stay in bed, and in a brief span of denial.

“It’s a lot” Ashlyn’s voice was tender and soothing as she patted the redhead’s long leg through the covers. “You shouldn’t have to be dealing with any of this honey, I’m so sorry.”

The hard decisions about final arrangements were supposed to be made yesterday, but none of them – not Ashlyn, Reenie, or Meg, had the strength to do it after their emotional conversation about Hannah and her life and love. They had agreed to put it off one more day.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on with me” Meg’s tired, red eyes met hazel ones. “I’m crying my face off one minute and then I’m fucking furious the next minute and...and...ugh...this is so fucking hard!” she yelled, looking for a moment like her 4-year old self having a temper tantrum at bedtime. “I don’t know what to do!! Please just tell me what the fuck to do!! Please...” she finished her loud outburst with a pathetic, pleading whimper.

“Oh kiddo, come here...” Ashlyn scooted closer and pulled the 24-year old into her chest and a safe, loving hug.

Meg latched on and sobbed for 5 solid minutes, as she had done off and on since arriving in DC with Ashlyn two days earlier. Her mother’s death had been shock enough, but then add in the secret relationship with Reenie, and now the mysterious lawyer none of them knew anything about dropping by the house that morning – Meg was rattled, to say the least. She had never felt so old and so young at the same time in her entire life. Here she was expected to plan her mother’s funeral and she couldn’t stop blubbering like a baby long enough to even get out of bed.

“She’s just grieving babe” Ali’s soft, supportive voice sounded through the phone an hour later as Ashlyn anxiously paced back and forth in Reenie’s second floor office which was now doubling as an extra guest room. “She’ll be ok, I think. It’s just a whole lot to take in all at once, for anybody” the brunette continued. “But you’re gonna have to push her a little bit...”

“Al, I can’t push her” Ashlyn interrupted, desperation in her voice. “You should see her, she can’t even get out of bed today...”

“Ash, honey, then you’re gonna have to make the decisions for her.”

“Me? Why me?” the keeper froze at the terrifying idea of taking on all that responsibility and dealing with so many people she knew little or nothing about. There was no way she could pull off making the arrangements without fucking them up. No way. “I don’t even know these people...”

“Then you need to be the one who streamlines everything for either Meg or Reenie to decide. Hannah...” Ali got unexpectedly choked up as she spoke the dead woman’s name, “...she was popular, and people want to pay their respects and honor her.”

“I know that...” the keeper couldn’t hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Charlie’s mother has called me twice to ask about the arrangements” Ali continued, letting the terse exchange go by. “People want to know what to do.”

There was a long, tense moment before Ashlyn sighed and seemed to let her anger and hostility fade.

“My mom called too. They’re all coming up for it, if we can ever get a date nailed down” the keeper sighed again. “I don’t even know where to start.”

With a bit of guidance from her wife from afar, Ashlyn made a plan of attack. Ali’s best advice was to talk with Reenie and find out if Hannah had any other thoughts about her services – aside from the hymn choices and couple of readings she had already included in the instructions Mr. Dumaine had delivered that morning. Letting Meg decide what kind of arrangements was a big, wide-open ask that felt overwhelming for all of them in the Tenleytown house. And there were issues that were atypical, to say the least. Not many people in DC knew about Ashlyn or how important her role was in Meg’s life. Only slightly more people knew about Hannah’s intimate relationship with Reenie. The more Ali and Ashlyn talked it over, the more sure they both were that Hannah had left the decisions open because there were so many angles to consider. Somebody had to be the family representative in charge of everything. The face of the proceedings. Meg was the obvious choice, but she was having a hard time dealing with her mother’s loss. She might not be up for the job. Reenie was the next best candidate. She was a longtime family friend and the business partner who could help Meg get through the services – much like she helped Hannah run the business. But poor Reenie, in addition to her broken heart, was struggling with her injuries from the accident. She was in a lot of pain and was only functioning as a shadow of her usual self.

Hannah had a lot of friends, some of whom were stand up people and others who were not. Her best friend Monique had been by her side the longest, but she had come from Clinton, MD with her and had a less than honorable approach to life. She had always been loyal as fuck to Hannah, which the redhead appreciated, but there was a reason Monique wasn’t part of Hannah’s business too. Like a lot of people from the redhead’s past, Monique was selfish. She was incapable of putting anybody or anything else’s interests above her own. What separated Hannah from this group of people in her life was the fact that she recognized this about them. She knew she could count on them in certain circumstances, but not others. Hannah had gained this knowledge the hard way. Having a baby and trying to survive those early years as a single mother had given her the perspective she needed to see the truth about her friends and family. Monique’s growing insistence on helping with Meg and the arrangements was what gave Ashlyn the final push she needed to get shit done. If Hannah had wanted Monique involved she would have said so. No, it was time for Ashlyn to step up.

By 7pm that evening, Ashlyn had presented both Meg and Reenie with limited options to choose between and they had scheduled a wake, or visitation, for the upcoming Monday, October 6th. The funeral itself would be the next day, followed by the burial, and then a small reception in one of the local outdoor gardens that Hannah had used for her own event planning several times in the past. Reenie, as usual, had been essential in getting things done. She spent just as much time on the phone as Ashlyn did, and all the keeper had to do was mention Reenie’s name and whatever caterer or florist or hotel or car service she was speaking with would do everything they could to accommodate whatever the request was. Hannah and Reenie had made strong connections in their business world and were reaping unexpected benefits from it in this strange, sad time.

Friends and family flew in at various times that weekend. Some not until Monday, just so they could be there for Tuesday’s events. Everybody in both the Krieger and Harris families made time to fly to DC for Meg. Everybody, even Mike Harris.

“But...why’s Papa here?” Meg had asked in confusion Monday afternoon at the wake when Chris and Beth Harris arrived with their family, including Tammye and Carol, and Mike and Lydia. 

“Did you think he wouldn’t come because he was sick?” Deb asked her granddaughter as they stood in the corner talking quietly. 

The receiving line had been never-ending and Meg needed a break from trying to recognize and remember people she hadn’t seen in many years as they waited patiently to pay their respects that afternoon at the funeral home. After much debate, Ashlyn, Meg, and Reenie had decided that just the three of them would stand and receive visitors instead of having the whole Krieger family – Ali and the rest of the kids, join them there. It wasn’t because Meg didn’t want them there, or was ashamed of them. It was a courtesy to them. There were so many business acquaintances that came to the wake that only Reenie had any chance of knowing in the first place. It made no sense to ask Ali and the kids to stand there with them too. There were almost as many old schoolmates and teammates of Meg’s there too though - old high school friends who still lived in the area; some friends from the Washington Spirit she had made during her summers interning there in college. Her teammates from high school and college who had all enjoyed the generosity of Hannah at some point over the years had shown up in larger numbers than anybody expected. The deep, painful gash in Reenie’s leg made it necessary for her to take frequent breaks, which both Meg and Ashlyn were grateful for too. After the second hour, they changed to seated positions, just for the injured woman, and wondered what dumb protocol they had felt like they had to follow that made them stand and suffer in the first place.

“No, umm...” Meg dropped her voice conspiratorially and stepped closer to Deb’s ear. “Because he didn’t like mom. At all” her eyes were big as she pulled back to look at her grandmother’s loving face.

“Oh baby girl” Deb rubbed the redhead’s arm and gave it a loving squeeze as she smiled. “He’s not here for her. He’s here for you.”

Meg’s mind and heart were blown apart over and over again as she tried to comprehend the large turnout for her mother’s wake and then funeral and reception the next day. Charlie and his parents had arrived Sunday night. The elder Applegates waited until their son could make it back from London and then met him at the DC airport. Meg was surprised by how happy she was to see all three of them, not just the expected elation she knew she would feel from seeing her love.

The four families represented well, as always, too. Sydney, Whitney, and Niki all flew down to offer their support and love. Julie Donaldson flew down with her daughter Emma who still kept in close touch with Meg, even though they were both grown-ups with real adult jobs now. Kyle brought his family down. Ken and Vicki were there as were both Koty and Tanner – which was a shock because the Revs just played a game Sunday night and had another one scheduled for Friday too. 

Meg was stunned when the owner of the Chicago Red Stars flew the team in for the day Tuesday, October 7th. Meg’s NWSL comrades were in a desperate push to make the playoffs that year. Meg had missed the big home game that Saturday against Atlanta while she was in DC and would miss the next one as well – Sunday, October 12th in North Carolina. Well, that was the plan anyway. Meg was the starting keeper and the team missed her leadership, a lot. But the coach told her to take whatever time she needed in DC and she meant it. There was no pressure on the redhead to come back sooner than she was ready. Chicago was a longshot to make the playoffs again, and their odds had decreased significantly without Meg in goal. Nobody would have blamed the redhead at all if she had decided to miss the final two games of the season later that month too. But that wasn’t what Meg wanted. At least she didn’t think it was.

“I wanna play” the tall redhead announced Saturday night, October 4th, while she was watching the Chicago vs Atlanta game on the big screen tv in the Tenleytown house.

Ali, Deb, and the four Krieger kids had arrived earlier that day and the whole group was piled into the big living room together, along with Ashlyn and Reenie, to watch the Red Stars try to win the first of their last four games of the regular season. They would need to win all four if they had a chance to earn that final Eastern Conference playoff spot. Three of those four games were against the top 3 teams in the conference, and Atlanta was one of the two teams, along with Boston, that was trying to steal that 3rd place spot. The comfort and familiarity of an NWSL game made everybody feel a little bit more normal that night, including Meg.

Ashlyn and Ali shared an anxious look after the redhead made her announcement towards the end of the game when it was pretty clear that Chicago was going to get the win. One of the most difficult and hotly debated decisions for any athlete was whether or not they could or should play in times of crisis like this one. Most sports fans remembered how Brett Favre famously played Monday Night Football the day after his father died. The grieving quarterback played one of the best games of his entire career. But how many other athletes had tried to play through their grief and had the opposite experience? It was a tricky subject and there had never been a clear-cut answer one way or the other on it.

“I bet you’re missing your teammates a lot right about now, huh Meggie” Deb offered wisely and compassionately. “I would be too.”

The kids each took a turn saying whether or not they thought their big sister should rejoin her team and play the final 3 games of the season. Josie, Lily, and Dodge all said yes she should. Drew demurred, unable to make a decision but wanting to say something to make Meg feel better, somehow.

“I don’t know if I could do it, or even if I’d want to” he paused as he thought, suddenly aware of all eyes in the room on him. He got shy and wrapped it up quickly but sincerely. “But if anybody can do it, you can Meg.”

Both Ali and Ashlyn talked with the redhead that weekend about playing again that month. Deb took a turn too, trying to make sure the distraught young woman was aware of just how out of sorts she truly was. Nobody doubted that she could play for her team and probably play pretty well. But they all knew she wasn’t herself. What they were afraid of was that Meg would make a mistake on the pitch, maybe even a mistake that would cost her team the game. Then where would she be? Meg would be wracked with guilt for being the reason her team didn’t make the playoffs, on top of already dealing with her mother’s shocking death. It wasn’t until her former college coach, and beloved four family member, Niki Cross showed up in Tenleytown on Monday morning that the conversation took a tougher turn.

“It’s not fair to the team” Niki shrugged her shoulders after listening to the well-reasoned argument Meg had presented. The response was short and direct but not delivered with any venom or judgment. 

“Come on Nik...” Ashlyn shot her friend a quick glare as the three women sat around the kitchen table talking. Both Ashlyn and Niki had seen Meg’s face fall when she heard the coach’s reply.

“What? I’m just being honest” Niki continued carefully. She wasn’t trying to upset anybody, but she had been asked her professional opinion and she was going to give it. She also knew that Meg was tougher than Ashlyn was giving her credit for at the moment. But, Niki didn’t know how she would handle the situation if she were in Ashlyn’s shoes either. “Can you play? Sure, physically – no problem. It looks like you’re tired though, haven’t been getting enough sleep. But other than that, sure. But mentally? Emotionally? No way.”

“My mom just died, I’m allowed to be upset” Meg defended herself, still surprised by her former coach’s explanation.

“Of course you are” Niki leaned forward and gave the young woman a loving smile and squeezed her shoulder to make sure she knew there was no ill-intent in the conversation. “God, I don’t know how you’re doing it. I’d be a mess.”

“She’s doing just fine” Ashlyn spoke again, wondering where her friend was going with the line of debate. “What’s your point Nik?”

“My point is that you shouldn’t have to worry about playing right now. You should be dealing with your personal life right now. Something terrible happened and you’re not supposed to be ok Meg.”

“But what if I wanna play?” Meg proposed after a thoughtful moment. “What if playing is what will make me feel better?”

It was Niki’s turn to pause. She glanced quickly at Ashlyn, knowing her answer was going to piss off the blonde keeper.

“That’s the part that’s not fair to the team” the coach nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on Meg. “That’s the selfish part. That’s the part that tells me for sure that you shouldn’t be playing.”

As predicted, Ashlyn sat up straighter in her chair and opened her mouth to refute Niki’s statements. But she couldn’t – because the coach was right and they all knew it.

“But what if me, not at my best is better than...”

“Don’t even go there” Niki shook her head. “That’s not where you wanna be Meg. Trust me. That kind of attitude is not good for the team either and you know it.”

They were all quiet again, mulling over the truth and wisdom that had just been delivered. Niki Cross was a very good friend, one of the best Ashlyn had. And she was an even better coach that day in Hannah’s kitchen.

“If you wanna get some aggression out, that’s different” Niki continued when she was sure she had Meg’s attention again. “We can go rip some balls at you anytime you want, right Ash?”

It took Ashlyn a few seconds to catch up, but she smiled broadly when she did.

“Hell yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun to me” she agreed enthusiastically. “I’m sure the kids would love it too” she thought about the anxious siblings that weren’t sure what to do with themselves in this strange time.

“What do you think Keep?” Niki leaned forward again with a smirk. “Still think you can stop your old coach’s rockets or what?”

And that was how the Krieger clan, with four-family assistance from Whitney, Sydney, and Niki, spent the next 2 hours in the backyard. They got so into it that they were all almost late for the wake. Even Ali, normally the timekeeper of any gathering, got lost in the freedom and release of kicking soccer balls as hard as possible and enjoying one of the family’s favorite pastimes. And even Meg seemed to have fun. Ashlyn felt almost giddy when she saw a genuine smile on the redhead’s face for the first time in 8 days.

//

Meg Doucette couldn’t remember the last time she had seen either her aunt Pam or her uncle Mitch. She knew for certain she had seen them at her grandmother’s funeral back in 2020, or was it 2021? In the 15 years since then, Meg had probably seen them 5 or 6 different times, all of them surrounding a big holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas in DC. Something about those big holidays drew even miserable families together. Meg could never understand it. On the one hand, she had her Krieger side of her family. And on the other hand, she had the Doucettes. And the family dynamics between the two could not have been any different. The Kriegers and Harrises were far from perfect, but they always showed up for each other. They always knew that they loved one another even though they screwed up once in a while, and even when they fought and disagreed. 

The Doucettes were unhappy people living sad lives who seemed to enjoy when one of them was more miserable than they themselves were. It had started from Hannah’s own grandmother and continued right down to Pam’s children – Meg’s two cousins whom she didn’t know very well at all. Pam was Hannah’s oldest sibling, and the meanest. Mitch was the youngest, and the dumbest. If Hannah had to choose though, she’d take dumb over mean every time. Pam, 3 years her senior, used to torture her kid sister every chance she got. Whatever misery she felt in her own life, she took out on Hannah. Then, when Mitch came along 2 years after Hannah, the redhead thought her big sister might spread the hate a bit and take it easy on her. No such luck. 

Mitch was the golden boy. He had been born into a family that valued boys far more than they did girls. No matter what Mitch did, it was praised to the rooftops by his mother and grandmother, neither of whom had any luck staying with the fathers of their children. Hannah’s grandmother had married into the Doucette name, but Grandpa Doucette had left his wife and family early on. Hannah’s mother had never married anybody – not even either of her two baby-daddies. Mitch had grown up to be a complete fuck-up, but an innocent one at least. He was that guy who couldn’t keep a job for more than a year at a time. He couldn’t remember to pay all of his bills. He couldn’t manage to get the oil changed in the shitbox car he drove so it was always breaking down. But he was as nice as pie and would ‘aw shucks’ you into submission if you were the landlord coming to collect his overdue rent. Mitch Doucette wasn’t going to get very far in life, but he always managed to land on his feet somehow. Hannah had always suspected it was because their mother used to give him any extra money she had. A young man had more of a need for extra cash than a young woman did, after all.

Pam was a bitch but she had come by it honestly enough. Her mother was a bitch and her grandmother had been an even bigger bitch. Pam also had the misfortune of being born first – the unwanted baby who had ruined whatever minimal dreams her mother had hoped for. Additionally, Pam’s father was a local bad boy who disappeared the minute he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with his child. The last bit of bad luck thrown at Pam was that she inherited her father’s unattractive looks. Their mother wasn’t particularly beautiful either, but Pam’s father was downright ugly – both in demeanor and appearance. Pam had to put up with a bitch for a mom, no dad, a new boyfriend – a handsome airman from the base nearby - for her mom who gave her both a beautiful little redheaded girl and a precious baby boy. Pam was screwed every which way. And that’s what made her so mean to and resentful of both Hannah and Mitch. In October 2036, Pam was 51 years old, the same age Ashlyn would be turning later that month. Hannah had died at 48, and Mitch was 46.

“So you never met either of them before today?” Ali asked her wife as they got ready for bed in their hotel room Tuesday night. 

Once Charlie arrived Sunday night, Ashlyn had moved to the hotel with Ali and the kids. Meg was getting more and more comfortable with Reenie, and vice versa, but she wanted someone around with her too. Ashlyn was happy to continue to be that person for her. And Meg asked Deb to stay at the house with her too, which left Ali alone at the hotel for one night before the Applegates arrived and Charlie took Ashlyn’s place. Deb and Meg had made their bond even tighter when Mike Christopher died. Deb would never forget the time her granddaughter had carved out of her busy collegiate schedule to spend with her during her grief. Part of what kept Meg from completely losing her mind that dark week in October was knowing that people survived loss like the one she was experiencing. It wasn’t easy and it took time, but Meg knew she would survive losing her mother because she had watched Deb do it after losing her husband. Ali didn’t mind giving Meg both her wife and her mother. The brunette would have done anything Meg asked, absolutely anything. They all would. For all the times sweet Meg had been the best big sister in the world, or the best granddaughter or cousin or niece you could imagine, the whole family was ready to do anything they could think of to take care of the grieving redhead that week.

“No” Ashlyn shook her head as she climbed into bed with a groan. All the standing at the funeral and burial and reception that day had made her bad knee ache like mad. “Never.”

“I’ve heard the stories from both you and Meg over the years, but wow” Ali made an eeek face as she shut off the bathroom light and crossed the hotel room to her side of the bed. “Seeing them today was...way more than I expected.”

“Yeah, well, buckle up baby” Ashlyn exhaled through the pain from her knee and turned to give her wife a tired smile. “We’re not done with them yet. Just be thankful they’re not asking us for money like they always did with Hannah. Imagine treating her like shit all her life and then, when she gets rich, expecting her to buy them whatever they wanted. Unfuckingbelievable.”

“Oh God, the reading of the will tomorrow” Ali sucked in a breath as she remembered. “That whole thing makes me nervous. Why didn’t that lawyer guy...”

“Mr. Dumaine” Ashlyn supplied the name she had finally mastered herself just two days earlier. “Harold Dumaine, esquire” she repeated the verbiage from the attorney’s business card with a weak attempt at a British accent.

Ali giggled at her wife’s terrible accent and got into bed too. “Why didn’t Mr. Dumaine just go over the will with you guys on Thursday when he brought you Hannah’s instructions for the arrangements? It doesn’t make any sense” she shook her head and sighed. “This just seems so dramatic.”

“It does” Ashlyn agreed as she rolled over to face her beautiful brunette in the middle of the bed. “But there are rules, I don’t know” she yawned. “It’s just the way it is baby, I don’t know.”

“And you don’t have any idea what’s in the will?” Ali asked, letting her keeper pull their bodies close together with a satisfied hum.

“Mmmm...no clue. And Reenie doesn’t either. You keep asking me that and my answer’s not gonna change...”

“I know, I’m sorry” Ali sighed and let herself relax into the embrace. “I’m just nervous about it, that’s all. I don’t even know why, really. It’s not like I’m gonna be in it” the brunette chuckled and then yawned.

“Well we’ll all find out together, tomorrow. Now come here beautiful” Ashlyn gave her wife a slow, sweet kiss. “I missed you so much” she whispered, still feeling every one of the 6 nights they had been separated last week, even after sleeping in the same bed for the last two. Ashlyn drew a lot of strength from her wife, and vice versa, and it had been difficult for both of them to be apart at such a critical time. “Thank you for coming, and for staying.”

“Honey, there’s no place else I’d rather be than right here with you and Meg” Ali returned the kiss and then they both yawned as they got more comfortable and ready for sleep. “And keeping the kids out of school one extra day won’t be the end of the world. “Tomorrow night’ll be a disaster once we get back home, but we’ll get through it. Don’t you worry, love.”

Just as they were about to drift off to sleep, a familiar knock and sad, sleepy voice sounded at the door to their hotel room.

“Mom...Drew kicked me out again...”

“Again?? That little shit. I swear to God...” Ashlyn’s temper flared instantaneously at their 17-1/2 year old, first born son as her whole body tensed up. “Who the hell does he think he is?” she growled. “I’ll kick him out of this hotel on his ass...”

“Just...relax babe, I’ve got it” Ali tried to calm her wife before getting out of bed and moving quickly to the door. “Hi bud” she adjusted her glasses as she opened it and let Dodge into the room. “He did it again huh?” she ruffled the short, dirty blonde curls on top of the boy’s head as they walked back towards the bed with Ashlyn still in it, fuming.

“You know you’re probably just as strong as him now, right?” the keeper’s agitated voice sounded tired despite her anger at Drew.

“Maybe” Dodge shrugged as he made his way towards his Mama from the foot of the bed, in his teenager pajamas – Chelsea Blues pj pants and Red Sox t-shirt.

The 13-1/2 year old was clearly exhausted and had been woken up again by his older brother, with whom he was sharing a hotel room. The two girls were in one room and the two boys in another. Common sense had told the two moms to let Lily room with Drew and Dodge room with Josie, but the girls didn’t like sharing a bathroom with their brothers anymore. Josie and Lily shared a room just fine, but Drew and Dodge had never worked well together like that. This was the fourth night that Drew had said or done something to his kid brother that got him to leave their room and seek refuge with their parents. The first night, Ashlyn was still at the Tenleytown house so it was easy for Ali to welcome Dodge into her hotel bed. The second night, Ashlyn had marched down to Drew and read him the riot act, shoving Dodge back into his own bed and warning her first born son to leave his kid brother alone. 

The third night, last night, Ali had taken her turn at it, but after talking with Dodge on the way to the boys’ room, she came to understand that the teasing and whatever other big brother nonsense didn’t stop once she or Ashlyn left the room. The brunette went back to her own room and she and Ashlyn made space for Dodge with them in their bed. It had been sweet for the first fifteen minutes as both moms flashed back to adorable memories of how the boy used to wake up before everybody else and come in and snuggle with Ashlyn in bed while Ali got ready for work every morning. After those fifteen minutes though, the awkward teen had been all elbows and knees and feet, all night long. Tonight, the fourth night, Ali didn’t even bother trying. She was too tired and too disappointed in Drew to try and negotiate a compromise or find a solution. She, like Dodge and Ashlyn, just wanted to get some sleep.

Ashlyn frowned her displeasure at her wife as they got repositioned in the bed. 

“You take the outside tonight sweetheart” Ali nudged their son to her side of the bed and took his place in the middle, between he and Ashlyn. God help them all if she had a hot flash in the middle of the night. “Mama needs her sleep.”

“Mmm-kay” he replied sleepily, rolled over to the edge of the bed and was fast asleep before Ali could even say goodnight to him.

“Goodnight sweet boy” she murmured into the back of his head before kissing him there and then settling her head into her own pillow. Ali reached behind her, from her little spoon spot, and pulled Ashlyn’s arm across her body and up to her chest. She gave her keeper’s hand a lingering kiss. “Sleep well honey.”

“You too sugarplum” Ashlyn’s slow, heavy voice replied thickly. “Love you.”

//

To say that the reading of the will Wednesday morning had been surreal would be quite an understatement. It felt and looked like a scene right out of a movie for everybody who had been asked to attend. Harold Dumaine’s impressive office was complete with fine furniture, fancy lamps, expensive artwork on the wood paneled walls, and antique rugs covering the equally beautiful hardwood floors. The conference room they all occupied next door to his office was appointed with the same fine things, including a luxurious leather chair for each of them surrounding the medium-size, oval shaped conference table that had a clear glass top protecting the intricately carved wood beneath it. It was the kind of space that people with enormous wealth spent time in. The estate planning that Harold Dumaine did was not the kind of estate planning that normal people did when their parents got old and ill and weren’t sure what to do with their modest savings account after they were gone. No, this was the kind of estate planning that dealt with actual estates and billion dollar trust funds and all those things that truly wealthy people dealt with.

It was strange to think of Hannah that way, for all of them. Even Meg, who had been the direct recipient and beneficiary of her mother’s wealth over the years, didn’t really think of her mom as that kind of rich. Meg was used to her mother picking up the tab at any group event they ever attended, or paying for a group of hotel rooms for whatever team she was on if they ever got unexpectedly stuck somewhere overnight. Hannah never made a big deal out of it, which was also surprising to many of the people sitting around that conference table Wednesday morning. No, Hannah had come up from the bottom and adjusted to life a lot closer to the top better than anyone could have expected. The hateful bitch Ali had first encountered back in 2015 had definitely grown and changed over the years. Hannah was far from perfect, but she had at least proven that she was capable of growth and change – and that said a lot about her as a person.

“Thank you all for coming” Mr. Dumaine spoke clearly and carefully, his voice carrying just the slightest hint of the South in it. 

He was dressed just as elegantly as his office was decorated, in an expensive three-piece suit with a colorful but tasteful silk tie and matching pocket square. He wasn’t tall or short, but he was round in the middle and balding. The only hair on his head was at the sides and back, and it was thin and black with a bit of grey at his temples. His thick black glasses and carefully coiffed moustache made him look like he had just stepped out of a movie too. Ashlyn shared a quick ‘can you believe this shit?’ look with her wife who was seated to her right, and then reached over to her other side and discreetly patted Meg’s leg.

Harold Dumaine sat at the head of the table with his assistant taking notes from a chair just behind and to his left. She was also in charge of the camera that was recording the proceedings and had already been turned on and checked for proper functionality and focus. Seated around the table in clockwise order, with Mr. Dumaine at 12 o’clock were:  
Reenie Vega  
Monique Jankowski  
Pam Doucette  
Mitch Doucette  
Ali Krieger  
Ashlyn Krieger  
Meg Doucette

“Let’s begin” the attorney cleared his throat and began reading aloud all the legalese from Hannah’s last will and testament. 

He took his time and explained what the strange sounding terms meant when it was appropriate and necessary. Mr. Dumaine spoke with unquestionable authority, as the executor of the estate, and everybody else sat there like well-behaved children at their desks in school. That is, until he got to the part of the proceedings where he read off what Hannah wanted done with all of her assets, both physical and financial. The children at their desks got rowdy as they registered grateful surprise in some cases and obnoxious contempt and disgust in others.

“Here, in her own words, are Ms. Doucette’s wishes...” he continued reading. 

“’I leave my company, in its entirety, to my business partner Irene Vega. There are no stipulations and she may do whatever she wants with it. She’s the reason it’s successful in the first place. She’s more than earned the ownership.’

‘I leave all of my property to my daughter Margaret Doucette, stipulated as below.’” 

Mr. Dumaine cleared his throat and looked at the young woman directly to his right before listing off Hannah’s properties.

“Your mother’s properties consist of the Tenleytown house, the Boston condo, the Chicago condo, the Aspen condo, the land near Woodbridge, VA overlooking the Potomac, and the private island off the South coast of Maine.” He gave Meg a moment to blink back at him in shock before continuing. “We’ll handle everything with you Ms. Doucette, there’s no need to worry.”

He continued reading from Hannah’s own words as everybody except Reenie tried to wrap their heads around the private island and the surely expensive land on the Potomac River.

“’I leave $50,000 to Monique Jankowski, without stipulation, for always having my back, no matter what. Thank you Mo-Mo.’

‘I leave $100,000 to each of Meg’s siblings: Andrew Krieger, Josephine Krieger, Dodge Krieger, and Lilian Krieger, with the stipulation that they may only use the money to pay for their college education or as a down payment for their own house. Their parents, Ashlyn and Alexandra Krieger, will decide any unclear situations in this regard. I’ve never known better parents than Ash and Ali and I have complete faith in their decisions.’”

Both Ashlyn and Ali sat there with their eyes wide and their mouths open as they tried to comprehend the immense gift Hannah had just given them. The redhead had always told Ashlyn that she would make it up to her for the year or so that she and Ali had paid for all of Meg’s expenses – that painful time after Hannah had left Dev but before the divorce had been finalized. The Krieger moms had always felt like Hannah had more than paid them back with the generous way she picked up the tab at the family gatherings she attended over the years since then. This final gift was...incredible and completely unexpected.

Meg turned to her right and gave Ashlyn a big smile. Apparently, that was something Hannah had shared with her daughter at some point previously, if not all the details, at least the bones of the idea. As she looked at Ali next, Meg couldn’t help but notice her uncle Mitch and Aunt Pam too. They both looked excited. It made sense, if non-blood family was getting $100 grand then they must be in line for even more than that as full-blood siblings.

“’I leave $10,000 each to my sister Pamela Doucette and my brother Mitchell Doucette, without stipulation.’

‘I leave the rest of my financial assets to my daughter Margaret Doucette, stipulated as below.’”

Nobody heard the last part though, because Meg’s Aunt Pam went ballistic when she heard the pittance of an amount she and her brother Mitch had received.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” the angry woman’s face erupted into a large, loud, hole that spewed disbelieving profanity at the insult she felt she and her brother had just received. “That’s gotta be a typo or something...” she stumbled over her words, trying to get them out of her mouth fast and furious. “How the fuck is it fair that those kids get so much money and we get none??!”

“Yeah,” Mitch added, slowly catching on. Math had never been his strong suit. “They’re getting...twice as much as we are, at least! That’s not right!”

“It’s 10 times as much, genius” Reenie couldn’t help herself and mumbled under her breath – but it was loud enough for anybody not bitching loudly about their inheritance to hear clearly.

Pam was standing now, and angrily pointing at Mr. Dumaine as well as at Ashlyn. Ali took her wife’s hand, as if activating some kind of wonder twins power that would help deflect all the bullshit coming at them from the two people sitting right next to her. Pam kept up her arguing for almost a full 5 minutes before a security guard appeared in the doorway. Nobody had even seen Mr. Dumaine summon security, but as soon as the burly man with the taser appeared, both Pam and Mitch started to shut up and sat back down.

“If I may” Harold Dumaine began and waited for the deplorable Doucettes to be quiet again. “Hannah suspected there might be some question about her gift to her brother and sister. She prepared the following answer for you both” he nodded at Pam and Mitch as he read Hannah’s words again.

“’Pam and Mitch, you ungrateful shits, I hope you choke on my money.’”

Reenie laughed out loud as Pam and Mitch jumped up in umbrage. Monique chuckled and grinned while Meg, Ashlyn, and Ali all exchanged silent gleeful glances.

“This is fucking bullshit!” Pam announced loudly as she gathered her purse and pushed back so hard on her chair that it toppled over behind her. “We don’t have to listen to this shit” she yelled as she started to move towards the door closest to that end of the table. “You’ll be hearing from MY lawyer, how about that, assholes?!” she yelled as she got to the door. She gave the room one last look and rolled her eyes at her brother, who was still sitting in his chair. She gave one last booming command. “Mitchell, let’s GO!”

It took a couple of minutes for the outraged family members to leave, and the security guard followed closely behind them to make sure they exited the building promptly. But then Harold Dumaine smiled courteously at the remaining women seated around the table.

“Ms. Jankowski, thank you for coming in. We’ll be in touch when the funds are ready to be distributed in a few weeks. If you have any questions before then, please don’t hesitate to call us” he spoke as he escorted Monique to the door as well. She waved awkwardly to the group and then left.

“I’ll call you later” Reenie waved back sadly, but with a small smile, and then turned her attention back to Mr. Dumaine, Meg and the Kriegers. “Ok, so what’s with the envelopes here” she nodded at the table in front of him, “and what’s with the stipulations for Meg’s inheritance? I don’t get it. I know Hannah trusts...trusted her.”

They all took a quiet breath when they heard Reenie correct herself and refer to her partner in the past tense. It felt like a punch to the gut to Meg anytime it happened, which had been a lot over the past 10 days. But slowly, sadly, they were all getting more used to it.

“And what are the stipulations below, specifically?” Ashlyn asked her own question, following Reenie’s. “Does that mean there are limitations or something?”

After some legal explanations, Mr. Dumaine finally broke it down into layman’s terms for them.

“Meg can do whatever she wants with everything, it’s all hers” he nodded at the redhead, “with the exception of her aunt Pam and uncle Mitch and anyone from their families. Before she gives any of them anything, she must get approval from Ashlyn or Alexandra Krieger.”

“She really did it” Reenie sighed and looked relieved and proud at the same time. Her voice was soft. “Good for you Han...”

“Did what though?” Meg asked, still confused. “I can’t give them any of her money? Is that the rule? And why is it a rule? I’m not about to go give them anything anyway. Mom made it pretty clear she didn’t want them to have any of it.”

“Oh Meg” Reenie sighed again but it was a resigned, almost relaxed exhale. It had been a long few days for the injured, heartbroken woman and she was ready to just curl up in bed for about a week or two. “Your mom told me once that she was afraid of what those two...” she motioned over her shoulder towards the hallway down which Pam and Mitch had stormed out, “would do to you to get to the money. That’s all. She didn’t doubt you honey. She just knew better than to trust either of them.”

“Perhaps now would be a good time to read this letter” Mr. Dumaine slid a sealed envelope towards Ashlyn with a respectful nod of his head. “This is a personal letter from Hannah to you and you are by no means obliged to share any of its contents with anyone else” he explained. “But you are allowed to if you wish. It’s entirely up to you.”

Ashlyn swallowed hard as she picked up the envelope and turned it over in her hands. She didn’t know why, but she felt tremendous pressure in that moment. She couldn’t think of anything Hannah might say to her that she wouldn’t be able to share with Ali, Meg, or even Reenie by that point – she was a part of the inner ‘take care of Meg’ circle almost by default now. And Ashlyn was ok with that. She hadn’t been able to find fault with anything Reenie had said or done to the fragile redhead in the past 10 days. On the contrary, Reenie had been patient and thoughtful and honest and kind with Meg as she dropped more than one bombshell on her.

Ali came to her wife’s defense quickly, as always. Not that Ashlyn needed defending necessarily, but maybe she didn’t have to be put on the spot the way she was right at that moment either.

“Are there envelopes...letters, for everyone?” the brunette asked carefully.

“No” the attorney shook his head.

He fanned out the envelopes with the names written in what Ali was assuming was Hannah’s handwriting across the face of them. The letters were cursive and big enough for anyone with normal eyesight to read the names from where they were seated around the table. Ali wondered if that was on purpose or not. She could see an envelope with Reenie’s name on it and another one with a name she couldn’t make out other than that it was very short.

“These letters are personal and don’t contain any additional bequests from Ms. Doucette” he added as he passed Reenie the envelope with her name on it. He paused and looked at both Ali and Meg who were watching him closely. “Does anybody know how to reach a Val?” he asked as he held up the third and final envelope. “We’ve been having a difficult time tracking him or her down...”

“It’s a her” Meg replied with her newly obtained knowledge. “Valerie Margaret Samuels. She was a...friend of my mom’s back when she was pregnant with me. I...I don’t know where she is now though.”

Ashlyn, who had opened her envelope and begun reading her letter, spoke up a minute later.

“It’s like a request, and an explanation” she nudged her wife as a look of relief filled her face. “See?” she passed the letter to Ali and turned to Meg. “She just tells us she doesn’t trust her brother and sister, that’s all.”

Reenie opened her letter too, but didn’t say anything as her eyes started to tear up. Meg got up and moved to the vacated chair next to the injured woman, pulling it closer so she could comfort Reenie with a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Ali looked at her wife and frowned sadly. Ashlyn blinked back some tears as she imagined how wonderful and awful it would feel to read a letter from the woman she loved and had lost. In an effort to give Reenie a moment to herself, Ashlyn encouraged Ali to read their letter.

“Go on and read ours Al. It’ll help Meg understand what her mom was worried about.”

Ali read the letter, from Hannah to Ashlyn.

“’Dear Ashlyn,

I should have addressed this to Ali too because it’s just as much for her as it is for you. Wonder why I didn’t do that? Oh well, keep a little excitement going after all these years I guess. Ha ha.

First of all, I want to thank you for being such a wonderful mom to Meg. Both you and Ali have made her life so much better and she’s incredibly lucky to have you and the rest of the family. Thank you for that.

Now listen – I’ve named you and Ali in my will to make sure my idiot brother and bitch sister don’t take advantage of Meg when she inherits my money. I’m sorry to put the responsibility on you, but it makes the most sense. There’s nobody I trust to protect Meg more than you. And I’m sure, if you’re reading this, she’ll be relying on you and Ali even more now. 

It’s not that I don’t trust her – she’s so strong and she’s so good! But she’s also very kind and compassionate. I’ve never wished any different for her, until I started thinking about Pam and Mitch doing anything they can think of to get to the money. I’m leaving them both some money of their own, but it’s just a small amount. It’s only going to piss them off. Ha ha ha. My last final Fuck You to them both for a lifetime of treating me like shit. Anyway – they’re going to try every trick in the book to get money out of Meg. They’ll lie, cheat, steal, do anything they can think of. And Meg’s so nice she’ll let them get away with it. That’s why I need you to make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m going to restrict Meg giving money to any of my family or relatives unless she gets approval from you or Ali to do it. That’s the deal.

To thank you for this, and also to pay you back for all you did to help me with Meg after I left Dev – I’m leaving the other kids a little something too. So I hope you’ll agree to help me with this last thing with Meg. If you can’t do it then Mr. Dumaine will have to do it, but I’d rather have somebody who’s family take care of it. Thanks again.

-Hannah’”

Everybody was smiling, as they recognized and appreciated Hannah’s typical blunt narrative. She was never one to get all mushy on you – well, anybody who wasn’t Meg anyway, and that letter was more proof.

“See Meg?” Ashlyn gave the redhead, now seated across the table, a soft smile. “It’s not about you as much as it is about them. We’ll get it all worked out together though, ok? I promise.”

“Yeah, ok” Meg nodded in reply. “Honestly, I can’t even imagine it right now. But I trust you guys” she looked at Ashlyn and Ali. “And I trust mom and if she says that’s what needs to happen, then I guess that’s what we’ll do.”

“Very good” Harold Dumaine added his approval with a dignified nod of his own. “If you don’t have any questions Ms. Vega, then we’ll give you a few moments while we get some of the paperwork that will require signing.”

“No, I’m good” Reenie said quietly as she wiped a tear from her cheek. “Thanks Hal.”

They all caught the familiar nickname that told them that Reenie knew Mr. Dumaine well. As Hannah’s financial advisor she had probably worked with him on previous occasions like real estate holdings.

“You ok?” Meg asked Reenie tenderly. 

It was clear to both Ashlyn and Ali that the redhead had decided that taking care of someone her mother loved so much was the next natural course of action for her under the circumstances. Reenie knew that Hannah would want her to try and comfort Meg. And Meg knew that Hannah would want her to try and comfort Reenie. 

“MmmHmmm” Reenie nodded, trying to fight more tears.

“Aw Reen, I’m so sorry” Ashlyn soothed. “We’ll step out and give you some privacy...” she looked at Ali who was already gathering her purse.

“No, it’s ok” Reenie sniffled. “Don’t go” she caught the older keeper’s eye and Ashlyn saw a light there despite the overwhelming grief.

“She left you a love letter” Ashlyn’s whole face filled with happiness for the grieving woman. 

As horrible as she imagined losing your love like that must be, Ashlyn could also imagine how wonderful it might be to receive one last, unexpected love letter from her too. 

It took Reenie a minute to find her voice again, but when she did it was clearly full of love. “She talks about us being married, she was going to propose I guess.”

“I’ll bet she was gonna ask you at Christmas, once she told Meg about you guys” Ashlyn offered a very reasonable and accurate assumption that made everybody at the table smile widely for a minute.

But once the happy minute had passed, the reality of their grief settled back around them again and Reenie began to cry. Ali stood up and gently pushed a box of Kleenex towards Meg before quietly leaving the room. Meg was holding her mother’s soon to be wife as best she could without hurting her broken arm or other injuries. Reenie buried her face in Meg’s strong shoulder and finally let her sorrow out in front of the younger woman. She had been trying to stay strong for Meg all week but there in that conference room almost a week after they had first cried together in the living room of the Tenleytown house, Reenie broke down again. This time, however, Meg was able to comfort her and support her without sinking into her own sorrow too.

Ashlyn tried to follow her wife’s lead, but Meg caught her arm as she moved past them to get to the door. Her green eyes flashed and held Ashlyn to her spot, standing behind Reenie’s chair with her sleeve in Meg’s clenched hand. All Ashlyn could think was that Meg needed her to stay there with them in that moment. Maybe the redhead was getting some of her strength from Ashlyn. It was hard to tell. But Ashlyn stayed. She put her arm across Meg’s back and squeezed her gently as the redhead continued to hold Reenie through her sobs.

“I’m so glad I’m getting to know you Reen” Meg whispered just loud enough for the women in the unusual embrace to hear. “I wish mom had told me about you guys a long time ago, but I’m glad I know now. I’ve been thinking, each night while I’m lying up there in bed – when all the thoughts come crashing in and all I wanna do is sleep” she chuckled softly and was glad to hear both Reenie and Ashlyn join in. They had all spent sleepless nights that way that week. “I’ve been thinking back on the last 7 years, you know, with this new angle and new view – and I was so wrapped up in my own stuff at the time that I didn’t notice how happy mom was. The more I think back on it, the easier it is to see now. And when I think about the times she seemed the happiest...you were always there with her.”

“Oh Meggie...” Reenie took a deep breath and then another, but didn’t try to move out of the redhead’s hug. “She made me so happy. Just...so goddamned happy. I was lucky to have her...I know it” she sniffled. “And it hurts like hell right now without her. I can’t lie. But it makes me feel good hearing you say that. Because we were happy. We were really happy.”

“Can I ask you one question?” Meg’s voice shook a little as she spoke after taking a minute to focus her swirling thoughts and emotions. Ashlyn’s supportive hand on her own back made her feel so much stronger than she would have on her own and she was grateful for the millionth time that the older keeper had been right by her side through everything that the past 10 days had thrown at her.

“Anything” Reenie whispered, pulling back so she could see the redhead’s flushed face. The young woman looked as if she was still trying to decide whether or not to ask her question and Reenie gave her a bleary smile and a nod of encouragement. “Anything.”

“I know mom was happy, now I get it and I can see it” Meg acknowledged softly. She hesitated for another few seconds before finally getting the words to come out. “Was she as happy as she was in Val’s picture?” she nodded vaguely at the envelope on the desk with Val’s name on it. “Was she as happy as she was in her favorite picture?”

Ashlyn winced at the sweet innocence of Meg’s voice. It was almost painful to hear how desperately the daughter wanted the mother to be the happiest she had ever been in her entire life, just before that life had been cut short. Part of Ashlyn wanted Reenie to lie and give Meg the answer she was hoping for. A big part of Ashlyn wanted that. But before she could even think about how to telepathically communicate that to the injured woman at the center of the group hug, Reenie’s voice sounded clear and true so there could be no doubt about it.

“She was even happier. I know because she told me Meggie. Your mom was the happiest she had ever been, ever. I promise you sweetheart.”

And that would be what would get Meg through the rest of her messy grief. It would take a while, but on her darkest days and in her foulest moods, she could always find solace and a tiny bit of peace knowing that her mom had died at her absolute happiest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, was that Pride v Dash game hard to watch last night. Ashlyn played lights out!! What an incredible game from her. I really hope her knee is ok. And Ali played great too. She had that one giveaway early on but her wife bailed her out with a nice stop. And then Ali repaid the favor sprinting back to block that Mewis shot/cross in front of the open goal later on. They both played great, as usual. It was hard to watch the poor possession and the bad passes all game, but we have to remember that the Pride had no preseason games. Nothing. They weren't even able to play 11 v 11 in training! It's only the second game for them. If Syd and Kristen Edmonds had played I think the game would have been very different. That was a soft as hell PK call, and a good argument can be made for Groom being offside on the third goal too. I think the Pride will win both of the last two games. Boom. There I said it. lol. But only if Syd and Edmonds play. <3


	24. Cherry Blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters left after this one. Hope you enjoy - this is kind of a long and rambling one, but that's how things are in the story right now. Let me know what you think.

Life marched on for the living, and the rest of the Fall flew by in a whirlwind. Ashlyn did her best to keep her mind right even while she worried herself sick about Meg and her grief. Everybody was worried about Meg. The redhead experienced wild mood swings and went from a melancholy day spent in pajamas to an absolute rage the next day. It was perfectly understandable and nobody judged her for it. They were just concerned. Meg, for her part, seemed desperate to stay busy. Keeping her mind working on something, and her body as well if she could, allowed her to take a break from all the powerful emotions she was trying to wade through after her mother’s death. She felt pulled in multiple directions and wasn’t sure what the right thing to do would be. She wanted to stay and help Reenie recover from her injuries. She wanted to go home to Boston and wait for Charlie to get home from work each day. She wanted to go back to Chicago and support her team as they tried to win the third and final playoff spot in the last three games of the NWSL season. She wanted to disappear entirely – check out whatever the hell island her mother had bought up in Maine and never come back again. Meg seriously considered going to Hannah’s condo in Aspen for a couple of weeks, just to clear her head in the solitude of the mountains.

No matter what Meg thought she wanted to do, or thought she should do, if she waited a day her plans would all be different. It made her anxious and it made her feel like she was going crazy. As much as Meg wanted to take care of Reenie, Ashlyn and Ali wanted to take care of Meg. Ali took the kids home to Boston Wednesday afternoon, after the reading of Hannah’s will. Charlie took the whole week off from work – missing the second half of the London conference and making his girlfriend feel very guilty. Guilty but appreciative. He didn’t know quite what to do with or for Meg, but he tried his best and was always close by in case she needed anything identifiable. Ashlyn stayed in DC through the end of the week as well. It was the long Columbus Day Weekend and the Red Stars were playing in North Carolina on Sunday afternoon. That turned out to be the easiest decision Meg made for the rest of the year. She and Charlie and Ashlyn drove from Tenleytown to Cary, NC to support her team. Charlie got Ashlyn’s patented tour of UNC and the area and the three of them had a nice weekend, despite everything going on.

“I can see it on her face” Ashlyn let out a heavy sigh over the phone as she talked to her wife. It was Sunday night and she had returned to her good friend Heather O’Reilly’s house and was just climbing into the guestroom bed there. The fifth wheel, welcomed openly by both Meg and Charlie in those strange days, had insisted on giving the young couple some privacy at their hotel. “She’s happy for a few minutes, like...honestly happy, and then...” the blonde paused and sighed again, loudly, “then she remembers that her mom is gone and this sadness takes her over again.”

“I remember both those looks well” Ali’s soft words reached across the miles. “The same thing happened with you, when you lost Gram.”

“Ugh, it’s so hard to just stand by and...and...do nothing while she’s hurting so much.”

Ali didn’t say the words that she had already spoken more than once during the week to her frustrated wife. She knew that Ashlyn knew that just being there was helping Meg immeasurably. Ashlyn had been there to support Whitney in shockingly similar situations throughout the summer, but it felt different when it was your kid going through it. That, and Whitney was a fucking rock. Ali knew her wife was going to have a hard time ahead with Meg.

“It’s just going to take time, love.”

“I know” the keeper’s voice sounded thick and tired and resigned. “I know.”

“And my mom will be there tomorrow when Meg gets back to Hannah’s...Reenie’s...the house” Ali fumbled over what to call the Tenleytown house as they all still struggled with talking about Hannah’s sudden and unexpected death.

The only way Ashlyn would agree to go home to Boston was when Deb offered to stay with Meg in DC for a week after both Charlie and Ashlyn left the redhead in NC that Monday afternoon. Deb was ready to step in and repay some of the kindness Meg had shown her after Mike Christopher had died. Nobody wanted Meg to feel alone or to be away from her family. But everybody understood the redhead’s desire to help Reenie. It was an important time for both of the two women that Hannah had held dearest to get to know each other better. Deb would be there when and if she was needed, but she wouldn’t get in the way of any bonding. She would provide a welcome feeling of home and familiarity for the fragile redhead.

But Meg couldn’t stay in one place for more than a week at a time. At the end of Deb’s week with her in Tenleytown, the two flew back up to Boston early on Saturday October 18th, for Ashlyn’s 51st birthday the next day. They all tuned in to watch the Red Stars play in Toronto that Saturday night, after attending the Breakers game earlier that afternoon. It felt like the end of the NWSL season was providing the only structure in Meg’s fractured life. After a week in Boston, technically Cambridge, in the rented house she shared with Charlie, Meg flew to Chicago and stayed there for a week. She cheered her team on for the last game of the regular season on October 25th as the Red Stars hosted the NYC Power. Then Meg participated in the end of season interviews and evaluations with the team after they failed, again, to make the playoffs. At least this year Chicago had made it as interesting as possible. 

The Red Stars had finished in 4th place overall in the Eastern Conference, beating the Breakers by one point and leaving Boston in an unfamiliar 5th place. It was the first time in 10 years that the Breakers had missed the playoffs and it crushed Ashlyn. The blonde felt like she hadn’t been as supportive as she should have been – either of Meg or the Breakers. It was nonsense, of course, but sensitive Ashlyn felt otherwise. Toronto, NC, and NYC finished 1,2,3 and would represent the Eastern conference and compete in the playoffs over the next 3 weeks. The best team would face their Western Conference counterpart in the Final game at the end of Championship week, the week before Thanksgiving. 

The Breakers’ worst finish in 10 years weighed heavily on Ashlyn for those 4 weeks. It was the kind of thing that would always bother her, but this year, because of so many bad things that had already happened, it really took a toll on the keeper. When she wasn’t worried about being the cause of the ultimate downfall of the storied Boston Breakers franchise, Ashlyn was worried about Meg. It was a tense time for the blonde and she could feel the raw edges of her emotions starting to poke at her psyche. It would just take one more thing to push her over the edge. 

“Ash...what are you doing here?” Whitney asked, surprise on her face and in her voice as she reacted to her best friend bursting into her office at Knight-Harris. It was almost 4:30pm on Monday November 3rd. 

“Where’s Ali?” the keeper asked, her eye twitching in her anxiety-filled face and the words flying quickly from her mouth. “She’s not in her office...”

“Yeah, well it’s late” Whitney checked her watch and frowned. Ali almost never worked in the office past 4pm. Sometimes she even left at 3pm to get to Andover and pick Josie up from school. But Ashlyn knew all of that better than even Whitney did. “What’s going on Ash?” the lawyer sat forward in her desk chair and studied her best friend’s pinched face. “You ok? Meg ok?”

“What?” Ashlyn squinted and cocked her head as she tried to focus on Whitney. “Meg?” 

She grabbed the back of one of the two chairs facing the lawyer’s desk and tried to steady herself as the room spun sharply. It was only then that Whitney noticed the folded letter clutched tightly in her bestie’s left hand. She stood up quickly and moved around her desk, reaching Ashlyn just as the keeper’s legs buckled.

“Whoa, whoa...” Whitney wrapped her arms around Ashlyn and supported her body in a hug for a few seconds until the keeper’s legs started working again. “Here, sit down for a minute and talk to me” the lawyer implored as she helped the blonde into the chair she had been leaning on. She correctly surmised that Ashlyn had just run up the stairs to the 4th floor in her urgent need to talk with her wife. Her bum knee wasn’t as supportive of those activities anymore. The keeper also looked like she was fighting off a bout of dizziness. Whitney tried to calm her friend with her hands and her voice. “There...that’s it.”

After 5 minutes of stillness, quiet, and some water, Ashlyn started to look like herself again. She blinked quizzically at Whitney who was sitting next to her in the other chair she had pulled up as close as possible.

“Whit?” she shook her head like she was trying to clear cobwebs out of it.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out now” Whitney chuckled, relieved to have her friend back again after a scary few minutes. “And quit giving me a heart attack like that, Jesus.”

“Ugh...oh fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just tell me what’s going on, please” the lawyer rubbed her best friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, Whit...I don’t even know” Ashlyn exhaled a big breath and closed her eyes for a second.

“Well, maybe it has something to do with this letter” Whitney tugged gently on the white letter still grasped tightly in the keeper’s left hand. “Can I see?”

“Huh?” Ashlyn looked genuinely surprised to see the letter in her own hand as she relaxed her fingers and let the lawyer take it from her. “Oh, yeah, that’s what I wanted to show Ali.”

Whitney scanned the 2-paragraph form letter and tried her best not to react to it. It was Ali’s results from the ultrasound she had taken the week before - the scary version of the form letter. It only took the lawyer a second to put it all together.

“This came in today’s mail huh?” she nodded as she asked the rhetorical question, waving the letter slightly as strained hazel eyes watched her curiously. “And you wanted to make sure Ali saw it right away?”

“Yeah, I uh...I guess I should have just waited for her to get home. Not my best move, sorry.” Ashlyn was embarrassed and she started to get to her feet.

“Hey” Whitney grabbed her arm and held her in place with a firm grip. It was obvious the keeper was out of sorts. “Just sit with me for a little while, will you? Please?”

Ashlyn slowly started to come out of her fog. She checked the time on her phone and rolled her eyes. She was embarrassed about a lot of things as she got her wits back. She had handled many of those scary form letters over the years, she shouldn’t be having such a hard time with this particular one. Why the hell had she decided to drive all the way into the city this time too? That was a first – a regrettable first. And here she was talking to Whitney of all people! Ashlyn couldn’t believe how insensitive she was being with her best friend in the entire world. Whitney had actually lost her mother to actual cancer 6 months earlier and here Ashlyn was whining about theoretical cancer that her wife probably wasn’t even going to get. The keeper felt like a total shit. 

“Damn, I’m an asshole” she sighed, 

“No you’re not” Whitney countered with a small smile. “But you’re stuck now” she chuckled, referencing the heavy rush-hour traffic that was in full swing by then with a nod towards the clogged highway that was visible in the distance outside her big office window. “No getting back home in that mess.” 

“What an idiot” Ashlyn whispered, then groaned and closed her eyes in defeat.

“Will you cut it out?” the lawyer’s gentle voice matched the loving pat she gave her bestie’s good knee. “These letters suck. I get it. It’s ok...”

“No, I shouldn’t be here, like this...” the keeper started to protest as her emotions rose up again. She had been so strong for Whitney all year long and she felt like she was undoing all of that support with one ill-advised, poorly-timed, selfish as hell visit. She hated always being the needy one in their friendship. “It’s not fair...” she leaned forward and covered her distraught face with both hands, trying her hardest not to burst into tears.

Before the tears had a chance and before Whitney could call out the bullshit she had just heard, Ashlyn’s phone rang. She fished it out of her jacket pocket and tried to focus her bleary eyes on the beautiful face filling the screen. Just seeing Ali there on her phone – the picture one of Ashlyn’s favorites where the beautiful brunette was softly blinking her love at her wife from the other side of the bistro table on one of their date nights – made the keeper tear up. 

“Here...” she stood up abruptly, dropping her phone into Whitney’s lap as those tears began to fall. Ashlyn walked quickly to the door, trying to get to the executive bathroom across the hall from the lawyer’s office before she fell apart. “I can’t...”

“Babe, where are you?” Ali’s slightly annoyed voice answered Whitney’s tentative hello.

“No, Al, it’s Whit.”

“Oh, hey Whit” the confusion in the brunette’s voice was obvious.

The lawyer found herself in the awkward position of wanting to protect Ashlyn’s privacy but also wanting to talk with Ali about what was going on with her best friend too. It was a position Whitney had been in repeatedly, but it still gave her pause. Fortunately, not too much pause at times like this when Ashlyn was clearly struggling.

“Yeah, so she’s ok. She’s here, looking for you...but she’s ok.”

“What? Why the hell is she there now? I just got home and Lily says she just...left. What’s going on Whit?”

Whitney felt guilty at how easy it was to talk to Ali about the keeper they both loved so much. But she knew in her heart that she was doing the right thing as she relayed the limited information she knew to the brunette.

“Oh shit” the worry in Ali’s voice after getting the scoop only confirmed Whitney’s decision for her. If Ali was this worried, then things were getting bad.

“Yeah, the letter really got to her this time” the lawyer stated what was obvious to both women now. “I won’t let her leave until she’s good to drive though...”

“Are we still on for tonight?” Ali asked, always quick with the scheduling details. The bad news about the ultrasound letter had taken a backseat in her own mind to the growing concern for the well-being of her wife. She knew their plans that night would lift Ashlyn’s spirits. When there was silence on the other end of the call, the brunette continued. “Soccer, up here?”

“Oh shit, yes!” Whitney grinned as she remembered their weekly Monday night soccer league. This week it was up at the Ashlyn Harris Sports Complex in Gloucester. “Sorry, I spaced out there for a minute, but yeah. I’ll be there, I’m ready. That’s perfect! That’ll make her so happy.”

“Just...I don’t know,” Ali paused. “Can you make sure she eats something?”

“I’m on it” the lawyer nodded, her own mood lifted by the idea of doing something she loved so much with friends she loved even more. “Maybe today was the perfect day for her to get that letter after all.”

//

A week later, while they were still waiting for the results of Ali’s second ultrasound to check the sketchy shadow found on the first one, Ashlyn’s mood had only worsened. She was on edge with everybody, everybody except Meg. The redhead was still unable to stay in one place for very long. After last week with Charlie in Cambridge, Meg was back down in DC to check on Reenie again and make some preliminary decisions about her new ‘estate’. Chris Harris had driven up from Satellite Beach to be with his niece this time in a move that touched everybody in the family, deeply. Meg hadn’t asked for company, but it was obvious that she was still having a hard time trying to figure out how to breathe in her new world.

The extended family wasn’t shocked that Chris Harris had stepped up to be there for Meg. They were just surprised that he had been able to make time to do it. He and Beth were both still very busy with the surf shop and the flower shop, plus Chris volunteered an enormous amount at the rehab facility, and with the afterschool youth program he ran out of the surf shop. Almost everybody would admit to doubting him somewhere along the way in his recovery, but they were all very happy to have been wrong so far this time. 

Tammye and Beth Harris supported each other’s sobriety by going to AA meetings together and generally lending each other a soft shoulder or a swift kick depending on which was needed in any given situation. Mike Harris relied on Lydia and Kyle Krieger when he was having trouble staying sober. With Chris, Kyle, and Koty Wild it was different though. Those three men found themselves competing with each other in the supremely high stakes game of staying sober. It was never discussed, not ever, by any one of them, but those 3 were constantly trying to stay sober because of the other two. It wasn’t so much about being better than the other two, as much as it was about not wanting to be the one who fucked up. Nobody wanted to be the asshole who fell off the wagon. The fear and shame of failing and letting their family down was the greatest motivating factor of them all for those three guys. Chris’ presence in DC that week was only possible, really, because of Kyle and Koty.

Nobody was happier than Meg to have Chris in DC with her for that second week of November. He kept her entertained and a little more lighthearted than she had been so far in her grieving process. He was also helpful around the Tenleytown house as Reenie and Meg started the painful process of dealing with some of Hannah’s things. Ali had just ended a call with the redhead before walking in the door of the big old house to a maelstrom of complaints and criticism from her wife. Ashlyn was in the kitchen but her booming voice carried all throughout the first floor. Even the dogs were keeping their distance, watching nervously from the mudroom before greeting the brunette there with relief.

“Why? Why, every day this sink is a freaking mess?!” Ashlyn’s voice rang out again and this time Ali could make out all of the words very clearly. “Why are there dishes in here at all in the FIRST place?!”

“Sometimes they gotta soak, that’s all” Dodge’s bravery would never cease to amaze Ali. It amazed Ashlyn too, but she was too wound up to even register it at the moment. 

“That’s crap and you know it” the keeper scowled at her youngest son who was standing by the small 2-person table in the middle of the kitchen. He was brave but he wasn’t stupid enough to get any closer than that. “If you’re done with a bowl or a cup you rinse it and you put it in the goddamned dishwasher! You’re all old enough to clean up after yourselves. I’m sick and freaking tired of doing it all for you, all the time!” Ashlyn railed on as she moved dirty dishes from the sink to the dishwasher much too roughly. “All of you!!” she boomed even louder, wanting her powerful voice to reach Lily in the front living room, Josie up in her bedroom, and Drew down in the basement too. “If you wanna eat here you put your goddamned dirty dishes away!!!”

It was too loud even for Dodge who was pretty sure he’d never heard her yell quite so powerfully or be more upset with them for such an extended period of time. The 13-1/2 year old backed out of the kitchen and right into his other mother in the mudroom.

“Hey honey” Ali wrapped the boy up in a hug from behind and loved the way he still let her do it without much push back – as long as she kept it brief. She could practically feel the relief sweep through his body when he realized she was home.

“Thank God” he turned to face her after the quick hug. He rolled his eyes and blew out a breath. “Mama’s losing it again.”

“Oh yeah?” Ali asked but tried to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. 

She had to admit that Ashlyn had been an absolute bear to live with over the past couple of weeks. She didn’t like to side with any of the kids when it came to criticism of her wife – they had both promised to maintain a united front when it came to their children and they had done a very good job of it all along. But the kids knew Ashlyn wasn’t her best self at the moment. Whether they understood it or empathized with it or not was unclear, but they knew something was up. Instead of defending Ashlyn in that moment, Ali probed for some more info.

“Kitchen sink again?” she nodded along with Dodge. “She’ll have it out of her system in a few minutes, it’s ok” she tried to reassure him.

“She’s gonna lose her voice before then” his eyes were wide as he moved into the front living room with Ali and the dogs close behind. 

Ashlyn was still ranting about leaving dishes in the middle of the sink, directly under the faucet so when she turned the water on she got accidentally splashed. Lily sat on the couch with her headphones on, watching what Ali hoped was a video for school on her iPad. The blonde girl looked up, pulled the headphones down to her neck, and smiled when her mother tapped the top of her head.

“Hey mom.” The smile dropped quickly when Lily heard Ashlyn still berating the family as a collective from the kitchen. The keeper had moved on to whatever sticky substance was on the floor near the trash can. “God, she’s still yelling?”

“Listen guys...” Ali began but was cut off.

“No mom, she’s really losing it this time” Dodge’s face was serious. “She started with Jojo and hair clogs up in the girls’ bathroom...”

“Yeah, like, an hour ago” Lily rolled her eyes this time. “Then it was Drew and food trash in the car.”

“And now she’s been yelling at all of us about the stupid dishes...”

“Well, how many times have we asked you not to leave your dirty dishes in the sink?” Ali’s eyebrow quirked even though she was trying not to let it. “And what about the hair in the shower” she turned her attention to Lily who was the most common culprit as well as the owner of the longest hair in the house. “You guys know the rules just as well as we do. If you don’t want to get yelled at then do what you’re supposed to do.”

Dodge and Lily took the reprimand with frowns on both their faces as they exchanged a knowing look. Ali caught it too. She had defended her wife despite her best efforts not to. And Jesus Christ Ashlyn, could you please stop yelling?! Now she was complaining about the mismatched colors of the recovery drink shaker bottles and their tops in the cupboard. Who the hell cared if the bottle with the blue lettering on it had a red top or not? As long as it had a shaker ball in it and a top on it at all they were lucky. Ali took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, praying for patience all the while.

“Mama’s really worried ab...”

“About Meg, we know” Lily finished the oft-repeated sentence, but it was hard to read her face to tell how she felt about it. 

Ali knew all the kids adored Meg and were concerned about her too. But Ashlyn’s short temper and harsh words had been hard for even her wife to put up with lately. And Ali understood so much more about the keeper’s coping mechanisms than the kids did. If it was bothering Ali it must really be upsetting the kids.

“I’ve been saying that a lot, huh?” she asked, getting two solemn nods in return. “Sorry guys.” 

She took another deep breath and smiled sadly into their faces. It struck her all of a sudden that someday very soon she would not be taller than the twins. Ali was 5’6”. Dodge was 5’2” and Lily just a bit over 5’ even now, but Tammye had warned Ali about the growth spurt that had hit both of her own kids freshman year of high school. The twins were going to high school next year. Holy shit. Ashlyn’s cellphone rang loudly from the kitchen and suddenly, thankfully, her yelling stopped. All three of the humans, and both dogs, in the front living room visibly relaxed. 

“Mama’s got a lot going on right now” the brunette tried to explain without making her wife seem like she was incapable of taking care of herself. “Just...tell her you love her a lot, and try to keep the kitchen and bathrooms extra clean for a little while, ok? Please?”

“Ok.”  
“Fine.” 

They both grumbled with sighs and groans.

“And remember, we put up with a lot of your crap too, right?” Ali quirked her eyebrow again but it was a half-hearted one that dropped as the smile on her face grew. She winked and reached both kids with a hand – tickling Lily’s armpit with her left and gently pinching Dodge’s cheek with her right. “Right? Don’t we all go through days when we’re not our best, or not in a great mood?”

Lily’s giggles helped Ali’s tender teasing carry things into a much more playful atmosphere. Dodge grinned and even the dogs picked up on the vibe, wagging their tails and whining in anticipation of whatever fun thing came next.

“Nope.”  
“Not me. Never.” 

The twins laughed as they replied, amused by each other as usual.

“Ok, well, I must be thinking of two other beautiful kids of mine who get upset every once in a while” Ali laughed with them. “Come on, let’s go see if anybody else wants to go out for dinner tonight instead, what do you think?”

It was a risky proposition, especially with Drew about to leave for 7pm swimming practice and Josie working on her latest school project that was extremely time-sensitive, getting everybody to go out to eat on an impromptu Tuesday evening. At that point, Ali didn’t really even care who exactly joined her besides the twins. It was a rare night where both Lily and Dodge were home for dinner and the rest of the evening, and the brunette wanted to treat them. Drew and Josie were definitely more immune to Ashlyn’s outbursts and it was the sensitive youngest kids who suffered most from it. It wasn’t like Ashlyn went on tirades very often, but when she did it was tough for Dodge and Lily to take.

“Can we go to Dave & Buster’s?” Dodge asked excitedly.

“Oooh, yeah, can we?” Lily chimed in with her best smile.

13-1/2 was such a strange age. Dodge and Lily were practically grown ups one minute and then bouncing up and down in anticipation of going to a gaming arcade restaurant for dinner the next. Ali shook her head in wonder as she felt her heart lighten and her smile grow wide. She would need a glass of wine or some Tylenol for the headache that was sure to accompany dinner there amid all the noise and flashing lights. But why not?

“Yes...”

“Really?!”  
“Can we go now?”

“Yes, yes” the brunette laughed. “Just let me get changed and talk to Mama. But then we’ll go. Gimme 15 minutes.”

“Yes!”  
“Awesome!”

“Why don’t you go play with the dogs outside before we go, please?” she asked optimistically. “Look how excited they are. They think they’re going someplace fun too.”

“Alright, but 15 minutes” Dodge squinted at his mom, skeptical of a ploy that had been used successfully by his parents for his entire life. The kids had eventually figured it out. “We’re not gonna forget just because we’re outside with the dogs.”

Damn. 13-1/2 was old enough to see through a lot of parental tricks of the trade, that was for sure. They used to be able to get the kids to play outside with the dogs for an hour or more before whatever exciting thing had been promised. It was a great way to get the dogs the exercise they needed and also get the kids to expend a little excess energy too. They were always better behaved and more manageable after some outdoor playtime like that.

“15 minutes” Ali nodded, mildly chagrined. Taller and smarter twins...she wasn’t anywhere near ready for that. “I promise.”

//

The next week was NWSL Championship Week and it was held in Atlanta that year. Continuing her theme of constant motion that Fall, Meg met Ashlyn in Atlanta for the week and kept herself busy. The floundering redhead stayed with Ashlyn in the hotel but spent most of her time catching up with former college teammates as well as Red Stars teammates who were in town to take in the big game and some of the other league-sponsored activities. Meg seemed happiest to see Brandi, her Chicago teammate and roommate, and Ashlyn was grateful that the young woman had agreed to come to Atlanta too. It had been Ali’s idea, and a good one. And on Saturday November 22nd, the Colorado Rush defeated the NYC Power and won their very first NWSL Championship. It was another shot of normalcy that both Meg and Ashlyn needed – sitting in the stands and watching an NWSL game together. 

It was a very good week that had only been made possible by the good news Ali received about her second ultrasound. The short version of the from letter from her doctor’s office was the one Ashlyn had been praying for. That was the one you wanted. Short and sweet, using just a few sentences to say the test results were normal or negative. Hallelujah. The letter arrived two days after Ashlyn’s colossal kitchen tirade and not a moment too soon. The entire big old house breathed a sigh of relief – and the kids still had no idea about Ali’s quarterly ultrasounds in the first place. All they knew was that their Mama seemed a little better, a bit more like herself. Ashlyn was still strung out, but she had regained some control again with that letter. 

Ali’s potential health scare had been the straw that had broken the camel’s back though. Ashlyn’s stress level was incredibly high even after the good letter arrived. She was using every trick and technique she had ever learned to manage her PTSD but she was still dangerously close to losing her shit entirely. And she knew it. And just as she had been doing for so long by now, she took steps to prevent that from happening. Ashlyn went to her therapy appointments with Dr. Emerson every 2 weeks, after increasing her schedule from monthly visits back in October. She made time to spend in her studio up on the third floor, drawing and sketching and even painting a bit more than usual. She did her best to communicate with her wife about what she was feeling and what she needed from her beautiful brunette to help get her through the latest dark time. She even started going to weekly group therapy sessions that she only needed when things were really difficult for her to handle on her own. Ashlyn was definitely putting the work in that Fall. She knew she had to be there for Meg. The redhead had never needed her more and Ashlyn was determined to be as strong as Meg needed her to be.

//

Having the Holiday season arrive so soon after Hannah’s death wasn’t easy for anybody in the family. Mike Christopher had passed away at the end of October 4 years earlier and Deb Christopher remembered just how painful it had been for her to cope with her loss during what was usually cherished family time. Meg was a grown-ass woman, 24 years old, and she didn’t need a lot of mommy time at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Meg was used to doing different things for the Holidays. Sometimes Hannah took her to Aspen with some of her friends for Christmas or New Year’s. Sometimes Meg and Hannah spent Christmas alone in the Tenleytown house, with only a brief visit to or from Pam and Mitch Doucette. Sometimes, and more and more as she got older, Meg spent the Holidays at the big old house in Gloucester with her Krieger family – with or without Hannah joining in. And for the last 4 years, Meg had spent the Holidays with Charlie, and as long as she was with Charlie she didn’t really care where they were doing the celebrating.

“I’ve spent Thanksgiving without her before” Meg tried to explain to Tammye and Carol on Tuesday during Thanksgiving week. “But it just feels so different this time.”

She and Ashlyn had gone up to DC to check on Reenie the day after the Championship game. Then Ashlyn had gone back to Boston. Meg stayed 2 more days with Reenie, the two women truly alone for the very first time. They were both stronger – Reenie recovering physically from her injuries at the same time she tried to put the pieces of her heart back together. But they were both still shattered by their loss. Meg wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her mother’s love, but Reenie refused to let her miss out on her own family gathering down in Melbourne Beach, Florida. Reenie reassured Meg that she had a healthy network of friends who had been taking care of her and that she would be ok. She had no intention of spending the holiday alone and didn’t need Meg to babysit her. She tried not to hurt the redhead’s feelings while still being forceful enough to make sure Meg got the message. Reenie wanted Meg to get on with her own life too and she was very aware of the tenderhearted concern the young woman was showing her. She had heard Hannah talk about how good and kind Meg was for years and had now finally been the beneficiary of it firsthand. 

“Of course it does honey” Carol’s Southern drawl always made you feel like you were being hugged by her very words themselves, even if she was all the way across the room when she said them. “You lost your momma and there’s nothing in the world that can ever make that feel better. But you and your momma were lucky” she nodded slowly, carefully speaking the words that were important to her for her own reasons. “You had a wonderful relationship and you both knew how much you loved one another. That’s so special.”

Meg had come down to Tammye and Carol’s beach house a day earlier than the rest of the Krieger’s were scheduled to arrive. She just wanted to sit on the beach and let the ocean and the salt air and Florida sun ease her bruised heart and racing mind. It had been a perfect 75 degree day and she felt strong enough to talk to two of her grandmothers about how she was doing. It was 4:30pm and the sun was almost down on the other side of the house. They were sitting on the deck in sweatshirts and shorts because it was 68 degrees and dropping on the East coast of Florida. Somehow the coming darkness made them feel chillier even though the temperature could never be called cold.

“I know. We really did” Meg replied softly, her fingers automatically finding her mother’s small gold ring that she now wore around her own neck every day. “I still miss her, so much...”

“You’ll miss her forever sweetheart” Tammye, seated next to Meg on the comfy 2-person deck furniture, patted her leg as they watched the tide come up the beach in the dimming distance. “It’s just how it is” she shrugged with a sad smile. “But in time, when you think about her, it’ll be just the good things and it’ll make your whole day better.”

The three women knew they would be joined soon by Chris and Beth Harris, and Mike and Lydia, both couples eager to see the redhead. Meg wanted to talk to Carol specifically, about how to learn to live with wealth. That wouldn’t be a good conversation to have with Chris or Mike around. They were both so sensitive about the subject. She also wanted to run her very first financial decision by Carol and Tammye too – because it involved Mike Harris. 

“Listen, I want to talk to you guys more about this, all of it, but...but I just really want to ask you what you think about one part of it right now...” she looked over her left shoulder, past Tammye, towards the path from the driveway and the front of the house.

“Before anybody else gets here” Carol nodded in understanding.

“Yeah” Meg blushed.

“Go ahead honey” Tammye encouraged. “We’re all ears.”

“And we’ll be totally honest with you, whatever it is” Carol added as she leaned forward in the solo deck chair that she had pulled closer.

Meg paused and took a deep breath. She looked shyly from one kind, old face to the other and finally worked her courage up. She spoke quickly, afraid the words might stop if she didn’t keep them flowing right along.

“I want to pay off Mike’s house for him. I just...I don’t want him to have to worry about that, you know...after...after...”

“You want to make sure Lydia’s all set, after he’s gone” Tammye squeezed her granddaughter’s leg and blew out a breath as she took the typically compassionate words in. “Bless your heart.”

“There’s so much I don’t have any idea about...really, most of it. I honestly have no clue” Meg admitted, feeling better after getting the first part out. “But there are a couple of things I know for sure. And that’s one of them. I just need to know, you know, how to make him let me do it.”

“Well, that will be a challenge” Carol pursed her lips as she thought about it. “But we’ll find a way.”

“He’s...different these days” Tammye added thoughtfully. “His opinions have softened... about a lot of things.”

“Don’t say anything to him yet though...I want to do it right, and tell him myself, you know...when I figure out how to do it” Meg babbled on in a mixture of nerves and excitement. 

Her face was solemn though. As happy as it made her to give peace of mind to her Grandfather, she was still painfully aware of the reason she had money to give in the first place.

“We won’t say a thing until you say so” Tammye smiled.

“What else did you have in mind? You said there were a couple of things you were sure about” Carol inquired with a glance towards the path to the driveway to her right.

“Oh umm...” Meg paused, suddenly feeling awkward talking about her inheritance. She felt self-conscious and uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to say another word honey” Carol nodded. “It’s an odd feeling. I remember” she acknowledged the time when she first became a wealthy woman. She had always come from money, but she had never had money. She never had her own bank account or credit card until she was a middle-aged woman. The money at first had been her father’s and then her husband’s to control, but when Carol finally controlled her own wealth – well, it was a day and a feeling she would never forget. “And the way your inheritance came about...” she lowered her voice and her eyes for a moment before continuing, “well, that must make it extra strange, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah” Meg nodded, relieved to hear that Carol really did seem to understand so much of what was going on inside her at that moment. At least the money part of it.

“You don’t have to be worried honey” Tammye reassured and reached up to rub Meg’s shoulder next to her. “We’re here for you, and you can talk to us about anything.”

“Or not, it’s totally up to you” Carol finished and sat back in her chair trying to alleviate some of the pressure Meg might be feeling in that moment.

The truth was, Meg had a lot of thoughts about what to do with some of her mother’s money. Many of the sleepless nights she had spent in the past 2 months had been filled with those ideas. Ideas like starting a recovery center near Satellite Beach for Chris to own and operate; or a documentary film company in NYC for Kyle; or an engineering firm in Boston for Koty. The cause nearest to her heart was the Engen Foundation and Meg was determined to donate generously there and help so many underprivileged people get the legal representation and guidance they needed every day. But all those ideas felt far away, like pipe dreams. The two most tangible things Meg could think of to do with some of her mother’s money were real estate related. Paying off Mike Harris’ mortgage for him was one of them.

“I want Reenie to keep the house, like...own the house and live there, mom’s house...their house...” she blurted out just as car doors could be heard at the front of the house. All three women on the back deck heard it and knew their private time was coming to a rapid end. “But is that weird? I mean, I don’t know why mom didn’t leave it to her in the first place...it makes me think maybe she didn’t want her to have it or something. What do you think?” Meg spoke fast, her eyes laser focused on Carol’s face, waiting for a response.

But it wasn’t Carol who replied. It took a mother to understand what Meg’s mom had done and why.

“Oh sweetheart, she didn’t leave it to Reenie because it’s your house too” Tammye’s head tilted just a bit as her face softened while she spoke. “It doesn’t matter if she wanted Reenie to have it or not. There’s no way she’d leave that house to anybody but you because you grew up there. It’s your home, or it was your home. That means something special.”

They could hear Chris’ booming voice teasing Lydia about something as the foursome walked around the side of the garage towards the back of the house, the deck, and the ocean. Carol smiled at Tammye, regretting for the millionth time that she didn’t have children of her own. She could see the wheels spinning in Meg’s red head and wished they had another few minutes more to talk.

“Huh” the redhead pursed her lips as she considered the Tenleytown house and the explanation Tammye had just given. “I didn’t think of it that way before. So...as long as I’m ok with it, then it’s ok for me to give her the house, right?” she lowered her voice, thankful that the newcomers were walking at Mike’s slower pace and allowing her just enough time to get the confirmation she needed. “I mean, it’s not weird now that I know why mom didn’t leave it to her herself. Right?”

Tammye and Carol exchanged a look and a small smile.

“I don’t think it’s weird at all” Carol replied quietly, discreetly. “Not even a little bit.”

“When you think about it, Reenie’s spent more time living there than you have since high school” Tammye offered, hoping to make her granddaughter feel better about her decision. “I think it makes total sense. And I think she’ll be grateful for it. It’s a lovely gift to give and it would make your mom proud and happy” she gave Meg a big, reassuring smile before bringing their private conversation to an end and giving the redhead a quick kiss on the cheek. “Good for you honey.”

//

Thanksgiving, two days later, was rainy and windy but still warm because Florida. The extended family spent most of their time indoors, thankful that the beach house was so big. The whole thing felt peculiar as family members behaved strangely around both Meg and Mike Harris. Even when they tried not to let the two somber events, one in the recent past and the other coming in the near future, affect their conversations and actions that weekend, it still felt completely off-kilter. Jokes fell flat. Regular comments landed like criticisms. Simple questions sounded like surprise attacks. It was a mess. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so damned sad. By Saturday of the long Thanksgiving weekend, it finally started to be funny. The bigger personalities in the family, spearheaded by the seemingly fearless Chris Harris but supported just as much by Mike Harris himself, began making quiet jokes about the awkwardness. The rain cleared up and that helped lighten the mood too. 

Yes, there were poignant conversations had with both Meg and Mike by different family members. Everybody wanted to make Meg feel better. And everybody, at least all of the grownups anyway, was painfully aware that this was probably going to be Mike’s last Thanksgiving. Johnny was home from college and he stuck by his grandfather for the weekend like glue. Lizzy, identifying with Meg more than her Papa, eased her way into what turned out to be a sweet version of girl gang talk once Josie and Lily joined in. Even those self-centered teenage girls could tell that Meg wasn’t herself. The easy smile and the shimmering green eyes weren’t there that weekend. Even Meg’s beautiful red curls seemed to have lost their luster in her grief. But the three teenage girls did their best to entertain and amuse their big sister and cousin that weekend. Sometimes it worked, and other times it didn’t but Meg appreciated their effort regardless of the outcome.

Mike was getting used to the dance though. He wasn’t as uncomfortable talking about his cancer and treatment decision as he used to be. He had been having those conversations with his family and closest friends since June and 6 months of practice had made it easier for him to handle the different emotions that came with that dance. The cancer was growing and spreading and he could feel it. He was grateful that he wasn’t as sick as his oncologist thought he might be by the end of November. Mike wasn’t naïve enough to take any false hope from that fact though. Nobody was. If they were lucky, he’d still be feeling pretty good at Christmas too.

Meg did her best to keep her emotions under control as much as she could. She was tired of crying. And that made her feel guilty and then she would cry again. But she felt like a glimmer of herself that weekend too. It was the first time in 2 months that she felt like herself even for an hour. Having Charlie there was a big help. She had missed the big guy a lot as she allowed herself to move back and forth from DC to Boston to Chicago to Atlanta to Satellite Beach. She knew she was just moving to keep from feeling and thinking more than she could handle at the time, but she couldn’t stop. Sometimes she felt like she was running. Running from DC. Running to Charlie. Running out of sadness. Running into chaos. Running. Running. Running. It wasn’t until Sunday morning that she finally felt like she could stop all the running, at least for a little while. Maybe for good. It was too soon to tell.

It was 7:15am and Meg was coming back up the beach towards Tammye and Carol’s beach house after a pre-dawn walk on the sand. Her sleep schedule had been terrible for two months and she was often up early those days. It was another temperate day on the beach and the sunrise had been beautiful as it filled the first clear sky they’d had in 4 days. It was a chilly 62 degrees but that would rise to the upper 70s by afternoon. The water was warmer than the air at that hour and Meg had enjoyed the feeling of the warm sea lapping at her ankles as she walked.

As she got closer to the beach house she could see that the form in the sand she had been watching as she approached was not a large rock or a big chunk of driftwood after all. No, it was Ashlyn and Ali sitting as they often did during their Florida visits when they enjoyed a sunrise together. Ashlyn sat with a blanket around her shoulders with her arms holding it protectively around her wife in front of her and between her bent legs. Meg only realized it was two of her three moms when the couple got up and ambled towards the water, still a good 50 yards ahead of her on the beach. The redhead watched Ali pull the sweatshirt over her head and wade into the 75 degree water in her pj pants and sleep t-shirt. The breeze off the ocean blew her shoulder length brunette hair behind her and Meg watched her wrap her arms around herself for warmth before dunking under the waist deep waves. Ashlyn stood shin deep in the surf, sweatpants pulled up to her knees to keep them dry and sweatshirt still keeping her upper body warm as she watched her wife disappear into the sea. Her beloved mermaid.

Meg couldn’t help but smile at the scene playing out in front of her. Seeing the romance and the love still so deep between Ali and Ashlyn always made her happy. Even in dark times their love always shone like a light for the younger woman. Her thoughts drifted to Charlie and she wondered why she hadn’t woken him up and asked him to walk with her that morning. Part of her brain was yelling ‘there’s a reason you didn’t ask him, dummy’. While another part calmy reassured her ‘you’re just used to being by yourself right now, that’s all it is, just relax.’ Before she could think more about it, Meg saw Ashlyn waving at her, now only 20 yards away. She realized as she approached the blonde that Ali’s swim must have been unplanned because there were no towels in sight.

“Just come on, you big baby” Ashlyn teased, back on the wet sand now. “I told you you wouldn’t wanna get out if you went in” she laughed. “It’s warmer in the water!”

Ali kept trying to stand up but then ducking back down into the water with a squeal of submission.

“Just go get me a towel, pleeeeeeease...” she begged and then giggled. “Come on...”

“Wait, the woman who plans things in her sleep went into the water without a plan for getting out of it?” Meg joined in the fun and stood next to Ashlyn who laughed with her.

“Can you believe it?” the blonde grinned, happy to see Meg looking more carefree than she had in a while.

Ali was noting the same thing about both women on the beach.

“No, I really can’t” the redhead chuckled and shook her head.

After a couple more minutes of playful whining and negotiations, Ashlyn’s latest proposal was accepted.

“Here, ok we’re ready your highness” Ashlyn announced after stepping out of her sweatpants and tossing them across her left shoulder. She shivered as the morning air hit her bare legs – exposed by the sleep shorts she was wearing. She had Ali’s sweatshirt tossed over her right shoulder too. 

“We’ve got you Al, I promise” Meg added as she stood across from Ashlyn with the blanket held out wide in her outstretched arms. “But hurry up because I really have to pee.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming...” Ali rolled her eyes and took a deep breath from her spot, crouched down in the waist deep ocean and ready to go.

The brunette shot up and out of the water at top speed and maximum force, awkwardly clomping over the surf as she sprinted the 15’ towards the two women holding the blanket that would surround her and allow her to strip out of her soaking wet pajamas and pull on the sweats Ashlyn had readied for her.

“Oh my God it’s fucking freezing out here!” Ali hissed as she tried to peel the wet clothes off of herself while shivering. 

Ashlyn held her half of the blanket up but peeked over to enjoy the show, grinning so big her dimple appeared. Meg held her half of the blanket up and kept her eyes towards the horizon where the sun was now fully up and starting to warm up the day.

“I told you...” Ashlyn’s voice sing-songed before her wife cut it off.

“Oh I know, now quit saying it” Ali groaned as she stepped into the sweatpants and shoved her head inside the sweatshirt. “It felt so good though. Like the best bath ever” she flashed her megawatt smile, even though her lips were more blue than usual at the moment.

As Ali shoved her left arm through the sleeve and left it sticking up in the air while she fumbled to get her right arm into the other one, Meg caught sight of the familiar Liebe tattoo. But there was something else there too. She tilted her head and squinted as she took in what looked like a new tattoo on the outside of the brunette’s left forearm. It was hard to get a good look because Ali kept flailing it around in her struggle.

“Ok, I’m good” Ali chuckled after pulling the sweatshirt down to her waist. Ashlyn and Meg lowered the blanket and the blonde began to fold it up. “Thank you both, you’re lifesavers” Ali leaned forward and pecked her wife’s lips before turning to give Meg a kiss on the cheek too. “Did you have a good walk Meggie?”

“Umm...yeah, I did” the redhead’s brow was furrowed in concentration as she tried to get a better look at the tattoo that she had somehow not seen all weekend long. She frowned when Ali pulled the sweatshirt sleeve down to keep her goosebump covered arm warm.

“What’s the matter?” the brunette asked, noticing the frown.

“Nothing” Meg shook her head. “Did you get a new tattoo?”

Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a look.

“I’m freezing now, thanks to you” the blonde patted her wife’s ass playfully and then pressed a soft kiss to her cheek with a little nuzzle. “Happy sunrise baby. See you back inside” she winked at Meg and then turned and walked quickly back towards the beach house with the blanket tucked under her arm.

“I did get a new tattoo” Ali finally replied after taking a deep breath and meeting the redhead’s eyes. “I’ve been wanting to show it to you, but...I just wasn’t sure when the best time would be...”

“What does that mean?” 

Meg looked so young when she got that confused look on her face. It was adorable and it made Ali’s heart ache.

“It just means that I got this tattoo and I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to tell you why I got it and what it means...I’m still not sure if you’ll like it...”

“If I’ll like it?” Meg gave her a quizzical look. “I love your ink and you always put so much thought into them. Of course I’ll like it.”

“Well, this one I didn’t spend a lot of time planning. It uh...it just came to me, clear as a bell. For the first time ever I felt like Ash when she gets inspired for new ink” Ali studied Meg’s face carefully, trying to decide if the young woman with so many heavy things in her heart could receive the new tattoo in the spirit in which it had been conceived and carried out. “Are you sure you wanna see it? I got it for you and I’ve been waiting for the right time...”

“What do you mean you got it for me?” Meg’s face scrunched in confusion. “Why? I mean, what for?”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything to you, actually” Ali tried to explain. “It means a lot to me and that’s why I got it. But I don’t want it to upset you. I guess that’s what I’m afraid of, and why I’ve been waiting to show you.”

“Upset me? Why would it upset me?”

Ali could hear the aggravation in Meg’s voice and got frustrated with herself. She had been so careful to keep her arm covered up around the redhead just so she could choose exactly the right time to show her the tattoo. And here she ruined it by taking an impulsive sunrise swim. Shit. Well she had to show her now. There was no way around it.

“I love you Meggie, more than you know” Ali smiled as she pulled the sleeve of her sweatshirt up to her elbow and stuck her bare left arm out towards the redhead. “I got this last month and it was a heck of a lot easier to keep under wraps in New England weather, that’s for sure” she laughed softly as she watched Meg’s face closely.

Neither woman spoke for a full minute as Meg took Ali’s arm in her hands and gently turned it this way and that so she could see the whole tattoo. It started up at the outside of her elbow and went all the way down to her wrist. The black ink depicted a branch from a cherry blossom tree with three thin branches and 6 or 7 delicate flowers and a few small leaves and buds here and there. The main branch traveled down the outside edge of Ali’s forearm and went all the way to her wrist with three flowers on it and several buds at the end. The middle branch went halfway down her arm but curved towards the inside with one flower on it. The shortest branch curved right near her elbow, taking a similar curve as the middle branch, but just much shorter. There were two flowers at the joint of the third and the main branch. The tattoo was big and it covered a lot of space, but it was intricate and delicate and pretty at the same time. It was perfectly Ali. 

“It’s...it’s a cherry blossom” Meg stammered as she blinked down at the arm in her hands.

“Yeah, it is” Ali nodded and found herself holding her breath in anticipation of the redhead’s reaction. But nothing came and after waiting what felt like forever, the brunette asked “Do you like it?”

“Al...I...” Meg took a quick breath as her emotions swirled up around her. She was pretty sure what it meant, but she couldn’t get very many words to come out. “For me?” she whispered as her chin quivered.

“For you sweetheart” Ali felt her own throat starting to close up on her but swallowed hard so she could get the speech out that she had prepared and changed over and over again for a month now. “I know you love the cherry blossom trees from home, from DC. I remember one of the very first drawings you ever did for me when you were a little girl was of a cherry blossom tree” she chuckled as she fought back tears. “It didn’t look like much of a cherry blossom tree though, but that didn’t matter” she grinned at the sweet memory and felt relieved to see Meg smiling too. “They always make me think of you. Always.”

Ali had to take a break to get herself back in control. As she took another deep breath she couldn’t help but notice how tenderly Meg was tracing the black ink with her thumbs, one on each side of her forearm and the tattoo.

“I got this Liebe tattoo, in part, to remind me of a very special place – a place where my roots are. So it made sense for me to get your cherry blossoms here, right next to it, because they’re where your roots are. Meggie, I know I’m not your mom, and I would never ever try to take her place. I know you know that. But...but I wanted you to see a tiny piece of your home with her... in me too” Ali touched her forearm and then squeezed one of Meg’s hands as she kept speaking. “Just to remind you, remind us all, that she’s always going to be with you and a part of our family.”

Meg understood what a big deal this was for Ali, in more ways than one. The woman who took years plotting her tattoos had gone and gotten this one done in less than a month. And not only that, it was all about Hannah, even though it was for Meg. Hannah and Ali had started as bitter enemies and never quite made it all the way to friends. But Ali had always respected Hannah as a mother. She respected her enough to make this extremely touching gesture. The brunette wore an homage to the woman on her own skin forever – just so Meg could see her there. 

Meg did start to cry then and Ali was afraid she had made a terrible error in judgment. But when the redhead hugged her tightly and spoke softly through her tears, her chin over Ali’s shoulder, the brunette knew it was all going to be ok. It was just going to take time. 

“I love it. I love it so much” Meg’s words were choked but she forced as many of them out as possible with squeaks and gasps combined. “I don’t even know what to say...thank you. Thank you...for loving me like your own...”

“Oh baby girl, you are my own” Ali’s words were a whisper as her own tears started to fall. “You always have been, and you always will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've had this Part 16 story plotted out for a while now - since I finished Part 15 back in February. I knew Hannah was going to be killed in a car accident in the Fall of 2036. What I didn't know was that Ali Krieger was going to get a beautiful cherry blossom tattoo on her arm in real life this summer (or spring or whenever exactly it was). She presented me with a wonderful opportunity to write a really sweet and meaningful scene here in the story between a grieving Meg and an Ali desperate to try and make her girl feel better in any way she could think of. Thank you real life Ali Krieger. You're amazing in ways you'll never understand. lol ;)


	25. Will You Love Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter after this one to wrap this Part 16 up (unless I can't get it all into one - then maybe two, but I think it's really going to be just one).  
> How about some angsty smut?  
> There are a lot of words in this chapter and very few of them are dialogue, so sorry about that. But I had to make sure it made sense - the angst and the smut. I didn't want anybody to get the wrong idea.  
> Thanks for reading along on this one, can't believe it's almost over. <3  
> Also - LET'S GO ORLANDO!!!!!!! Can't wait to watch the Pride play tomorrow night! I especially can't wait to see Sydney Leroux out there again. I really missed her last game. I think tomorrow's the game she scores. Can't freaking wait!!!

The Kriegers, along with Meg, returned to Boston and fell right into the Christmas season – for better or worse. The kids’ schedules were busy. The moms’ schedules were busy. Meg’s schedule was not at all busy, but her mind and heart sure were. She was happy to be home and in the rented house she shared with Charlie Applegate in Cambridge. It felt like a lifetime since she had last settled in there for the previous winter season. Her current plan was to hunker down and reconnect with her boyfriend and just try and be still. She hadn’t been ready to do that until December, after her life-altering Fall. But she had officially tuckered herself out travelling every week from place to place trying to work through her grief. She was ready now.

As the lighthearted sunrise scene on the beach showed, Ashlyn was feeling better herself too. The combination of seeing her dad doing pretty well, all things considered, and having Meg starting to act a bit more like herself again had made the long Thanksgiving weekend finish on a soft but high note for the blonde. Having her sweet and patient wife wake her up for sunrise on their last day in Florida had done wonders for her soul too. The big old house moved into the Christmas season with more spirit than anyone in the family thought it could muster. Ashlyn was still struggling with her PTSD symptoms but she was able to knock them down a couple of notches after the Thanksgiving break. She still felt stressed and anxious every day and suffered headaches and had trouble sleeping. But at least she was able to keep her PTSD to herself that December, something she hadn’t been able to do for most of the month of November. She wasn’t trying to hide anything – but that’s what she called it when she was able to keep a lid on her mood swings and aggressions and overall ornery behavior – that’s what she meant by keeping it to herself. She was less messy with it and able to keep it from splashing onto the people she loved.

It had been 15 years since the trauma of nearly losing both Ali and Josie in childbirth that terrifying June night. Normally the keeper’s PTSD was very mild and manageable. But this year – 2036 – had been too much for Ashlyn to handle. Hell, half of what happened to the people she loved in 2036 would have been too much for the keeper to handle. Lucky for Ashlyn that she had a wife who was smart enough to understand what was going on and patient enough to weather the storms when they did come. It had been one hell of a stormy Fall, that’s for sure. But Ali could feel a difference in her keeper after Thanksgiving too. Everything changed that Sunday morning on the beach. She felt like she had most of her wife back for the first time in two full months. It had felt wonderful. And then to have the meaningful heart to heart with Meg – and to have the redhead also seem to settle more into herself, was just the icing on the cake for Ali.

Which is why what happened Wednesday night, December 10th was so surprising. The family had been home from Florida for a full week and a half by then. They had gotten all dressed up and attended the MHI Gala the Friday before. It was the first time Charlie had ever joined them and he added a tall dark and handsome dash of debonair to the group. The young man looked handsome as hell in a tux and he and Meg made a beautiful couple. Drew had his first varsity swim meet of the winter season on Saturday afternoon. The twins put in extra practice for the upcoming Holiday concert at the middle school. And Josie was studying hard for her midterm exams coming up soon too. There was genuine goodwill spreading through the house and its’ inhabitants. The magic of Christmas coming through again.

Ashlyn had gone to her therapy appointment the week before, as scheduled, right after returning from Florida. Her next one wasn’t for two weeks so she went to a group session on the 10th, hoping to put in some extra work to try and keep the good vibes rolling. She didn’t always love the group sessions, but they were better than nothing. Sometimes, especially if someone in the group had a really tough share, the group sessions made the keeper more anxious instead of less. That was what happened that night, December 10th. A young man, an army veteran, had shared for the first time ever and it had been hard to hear his harrowing story. It would have been hard to hear at any time, but for Ashlyn to hear it after what she was already carrying around with her was not very healthy. On top of that, she always felt guilty about her minor PTSD, also sometimes diagnosed as ‘uncomplicated’ PTSD, when she talked with or heard from people who had actually gone to war and survived unimaginable horrors like the young man in group had. Ashlyn always got a confidence-shaking shot of imposter’s syndrome when that happened, and that certainly didn’t help her overall mental health at all.

The trouble started at 10:30pm Wednesday night, and Ali heard it while she was getting changed into her pajamas in the master bedroom. She was standing in front of the two dressers near the doorway to the dark and quiet second-floor hallway when she heard her wife’s angry voice coming from Josie’s room at the other end of the hallway near the front of the house. It wasn’t a full-throated yell – the two moms were still trained to keep the second-floor quiet for sleeping children. That kind of habit didn’t just go away because the youngest were teenagers now. Dodge could sleep through anything, and often did, but Lily was still a light sleeper who took a long time to find slumber in the first place. Drew and Josie were more typical teens who stayed up later than they should and were then inordinately tired in the morning. The same thing happened to Lily but it wasn’t completely in her control. 

Ali winced when she thought about Drew and looked at the time. He wasn’t home yet from his shift at the pizzeria and she knew that had probably been what had set Ashlyn off. He only worked a couple of shifts a week when his busy schedule allowed, and only one was ever during the week. The pizzeria closed at 9pm so there was no reason for him not to be home by 10:30pm, even if he had lingered during clean-up and close. He had probably run into some friends at the Loop afterwards and was hanging out for a bit – just losing track of time. His curfew was 11:00pm and he had always been pretty good about it, calling or texting to let his moms know if he would be late for some justifiable reason. The constant threat of losing access to the car was a powerful motivator. He still had 30 minutes left but he normally came home right after the weeknight pizzeria shift because he had some homework still to do.

Ashlyn’s sharp voice interrupted the brunette’s thoughts. The words were short and clipped and Ali could picture her wife’s jaw set as she spoke through practically clenched teeth.

“I don’t care if you don’t wanna go. We talked about this already and it’s decided. We’re all going...”

“But I can stay with Auntie Syd...” Josie’s reply was a whine but Ali could hear the outburst getting ready to follow. She wished Ashlyn had closed the redhead’s bedroom door before starting the argument. But Lily’s room shared a wall with Josie’s so she was bound to hear it either way.

“You’re NOT staying with Auntie Syd or anybody else, so just quit asking!” the keeper’s voice got louder but was still being kept in check and pretty even-tempered compared to the recent shouting spell from November. “We’re all going to Gigi’s for Christmas and I don’t wanna hear another word about it!”

“But we were just there!” Josie rebutted with a huff. “I don’t think it’s fair that I have to miss Christmas caroling just so we can go back to Florida again.”

Josie was a smart negotiator, just not as skilled as Ali was but definitely headed that way. Ali had the experience factor which the feisty young redhead did not. Thank God. Josie was using one of the most popular arguments the moms ever used in their negotiations with the kids. Fairness. Ashlyn was normally very good at talking Josie down from whatever dramatic ledge she had perched herself on, but the keeper had come home all out of patience that night. She wasn’t even trying to appease the girl. Not one bit.

“I don’t care if you think it’s fair or not young lady...” Ashlyn paused awkwardly for a couple of seconds. 

The ‘young lady’ was always a bad sign coming from Mama. That meant she was really angry with whatever kid she was bitching out. Ali held her breath and tried to decide if she should go intervene before things got ugly. It felt strange to her though – Josie usually saved her biggest fits for the brunette. No, it was Ashlyn who was on edge tonight – that became clear to Ali in that momentary pause. She was afraid of what her keeper was going to say next.

“...my father is dying and this is his last Christmas...” the keeper choked out emotionally but then her voice turned hard as she got control of herself to deliver the final argument, “...so we’re going to spend it with him and I don’t care if you like it or not. Grow up and stop being so goddamned selfish!”

Ali heard Josie’s door close louder than it should have at that hour of the night, but she was just thankful Ashlyn hadn’t slammed it shut instead. The brunette moved into the master bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth so her wife could have the bedroom to herself for a few minutes. She hoped it would give the keeper a little space to calm herself down.

“Hi babe, you’re home late” Ali gave the blonde a tired smile into the big vanity mirror 10 minutes later as she was finishing up her evening routine. She hung the towel back on the ring and kept her eye on the blonde who was standing silently in the doorway with a strange look on her face. “Everything ok?”

It was a dumb question and they both knew it. They both knew Ali had heard Ashlyn’s argument with Josie. The keeper seemed to have calmed down but was acting a little oddly, and Ali was too tired to dig in very deep to find out why. Ashlyn had gone to the 8pm group therapy session, which went until 9:00pm. She should have been home by 9:30pm but it had taken her an extra hour to make it back to the big old house that night. That told Ali that her wife had needed to drive around or go to the beach or something to clear her head and handle whatever had happened during group therapy. Then when Ashlyn did get home, she was aggravated that Drew wasn’t home yet, and then Josie made an ill-advised attempt to get out of going on the family Christmas trip to Florida. 3 strikes already absorbed by the keeper that night. Ali didn’t want to be any part of the fourth strike, but she wasn’t sure what to do to avoid that as she stood there studying her wife’s changing face in the mirror. What was going on behind those stormy eyes? She looked tired. She looked sad. She looked anxious. She looked...something else that was underneath all of that and trying to move to the surface.

“Yeah” Ashlyn replied finally, stepping behind her beautiful brunette and wrapping her arms around Ali’s stomach and hips in a hug. Her face still looked odd though, and her voice didn’t sound soft or tender either. “Jojo had her phone” she exhaled some aggravation and then took a deep breath in with her eyes closed as she tried to transfer strength and peace and patience from Ali’s body directly into her own.

“No she didn’t” Ali’s eyes flashed with anger at the news. Ashlyn must have poked her head into the teen’s room to say goodnight on her way upstairs and caught her red-handed. No wonder their discussion had escalated so quickly. “I took it from her at 10:00pm, I swear...”

“I know you did, I know” Ashlyn opened her eyes and was struck for the millionth time by how beautiful her wife was. The perfect smile, the laugh lines around her mouth, the strong jawline, and those gorgeous tiger eyes. They were currently full of outrage at their bratty daughter, as they blazed back at the keeper in the mirror, and Ashlyn knew that as long as she could look into those eyes she would be ok, no matter what else was going on. “We’ll have to start keeping them in our room again” Ashlyn sighed. “So much for trusting them.”

“Well, we don’t know it’s anybody but her...” Ali replied with a mixture of maternal defensiveness for Drew, and a distracted contemplation of whether or not she thought either of the twins could be doing the same thing – sneaking back down to the mudroom charging station and retrieving their phones after Ali and Ashlyn had gone up to bed themselves. 

As she stood there wondering how deceitful their children could actually be, Ali felt her wife’s mood change behind her. The hug had felt lovely and she always welcomed her keeper’s arms around her, unless she was having a hot flash. It was late, almost 11:00pm, and the brunette was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. She knew she wouldn’t be able to fall into a deep sleep until Drew was home, but she was confident that would be any minute now. But Ashlyn’s hands had started moving, and she had started kissing her neck as one hand slid up to cup her breast, outside her sleep t-shirt. Ali was definitely not in the mood for any kind of sexy times, and she was surprised to think that Ashlyn was. It certainly didn’t feel like she would be in the mood. Her therapy appointments often left the keeper needing cuddles and closeness, but not usually sex – not unless they had gone to a couples session together. That was different and that did often lead to sex. But Ashlyn was clearly upset by something, and probably a number of things, that night. 

When she was struggling with her PTSD on any level, Ashlyn normally pulled away from her wife as she tried to deal with it on her own and get it under control. Lack of interest in sex was one of the things that tipped the brunette off when her wife was truly struggling. Ali hadn’t kept track of how much sex they had enjoyed since Hannah’s shocking death, but it was definitely very little. Grief, shock, depression, anxiety, and stress had zapped both of them and it was all they could do to get changed into their pjs before passing out from sheer exhaustion each night during October. November had been harder as Ashlyn began to fall apart. Ali had managed a couple of quick and uninspiring sexy times in an effort to help her keeper maintain control over her swirling surroundings, but that was it. The last time was a quickie in their Florida basement bedroom when they were showering and getting ready to go to the airport. The magic of their sunrise morning had really helped Ashlyn turn a corner. And she had really had to have her wife in every way possible that afternoon.

They hadn’t had a good night of making love in about 3 months, and Ali was pretty sure that tonight wasn’t going to be the night either. Whatever Ashlyn was thinking – it just couldn’t end up the way they both wanted and needed and deserved. There was no way the keeper was in a good enough headspace for them to get there. Ali knew all of this as she stood there wondering what the hell was going on with her wife. Maybe the magic from their sunrise 10 days ago had worn off already.

“So...you’re ok?” the brunette asked tentatively, her voice soft but worried. She put her hands on top of Ashlyn’s to keep them from moving and leaned her head away from Ashlyn’s lips to get them off of her neck. She gave her keeper an expectant look in the mirror with one eyebrow quirked.

“I told you I’m ok” Ashlyn replied, frustrated, as she pushed Ali’s body roughly into the vanity from behind with her hips. “Do you want me to sign something or swear an oath or something?” her voice had a bite to it that the brunette did not care for – at all.

“Yeah, you sure sound fine” Ali rolled her eyes and then scowled as she pushed back against her keeper. “Get off me. I don’t want to be near you when you’re like this.”

But Ashlyn didn’t move. She was 3” taller and had always been and would always be stronger than the brunette. Her weak points were her bum right knee and her periodically arthritic fingers, but they were not limiting her power at the moment. Ali was about to get her elbows involved in her defense when she caught the strange look on her wife’s face again. It was the same look as when she first stood in the doorway several minutes ago. The part that she couldn’t identify before, the part that was underneath everything else, had come closer to the surface and Ali thought she recognized it for a second, but then it changed quickly, and then changed again. Ali knew that Ashlyn would never hurt her, not ever. That thought never even entered her mind as she stood there trying to break free from her keeper’s grip. And when the blonde ever exerted her strength like this it was usually in a teasing tickle fight or maybe on the soccer field if they ever got into a 1 v 1 situation during one of their rec league games. Occasionally, Ashlyn used her strength during sexy times but it was always as part of whatever role play they were enjoying or as a thrilling position change. Ali loved that and the keeper knew it.

This posturing in the bathroom mirror tonight felt different to Ali. It didn’t feel like any of those other things. But she wasn’t afraid. She was just annoyed and cranky and wanted to let Ashlyn have her temper tantrum without her involvement. That’s what it felt like – the brunette seized on her moment of clarity as she pushed back again against her wife. This felt like when one of the kids was a toddler and couldn’t find a way to express their needs with words or anything else. There was nothing for them to do except get more and more frustrated until they erupted into a temper tantrum. That was the look Ali couldn’t place on her wife’s face. It was that desperate, pouty, enraged look all of their kids used to get on their faces right before they threw themselves to the floor and had a full-blown hissy fit. 

“Cut it out” the brunette said sternly, still scowling into the mirror. She had always found it hard to be patient with the kids when they devolved into a tantrum, she certainly didn’t want any part of it in her wife’s case. She would always support Ashlyn and be there to help her any way she could – but not if she was going to be like this. “Either tell me what’s going on or let me go. What the hell?”

But Ashlyn still didn’t release her. She gripped Ali’s breast harder, just on the brink of causing her pain. She pushed her whole lanky body into that beautiful ass and strong back – pressing the brunette hard up against the edge of the vanity as she stared back at those angry and confused amber eyes. 

“Ash, get off me” Ali tried to pry the big hand off of her breast with both of her own. “I just wanna go to bed. If you’re not gonna talk to me about whatever’s bothering you, then let me go to sleep. I’m too tired to deal with this tonight.”

There it was again, that look on the keeper’s face, in her troubled hazel eyes, that Ali couldn’t quite make out before. The extra piece to Ashlyn’s puzzle that night – the part of her look that Ali couldn’t see as clearly through everything else going on there – was desire. But it didn’t look like it normally did. It was...different, slightly foreign. As soon as she saw the lust in her wife’s eyes, the brunette had to reassess the situation completely. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her keeper, but Ali would always try to help her as much as she could, no matter what. It all of a sudden occurred to the brunette that Ashlyn hadn’t said a word since her bitchy comment about swearing an oath to prove she was ‘fine’. Ali’s tired brain was spinning quickly, trying to understand, trying to figure out what her keeper needed from her but was unable to ask for with her words. It seemed pretty obvious, but sex? Really? With whatever was going on and bothering her so much that night? 

Before she had a chance to formulate a question in a way that wouldn’t further upset Ashlyn or come across as too critical or too cranky, Ali felt her keeper ease up the pressure on the back of her body, just a little bit. Ashlyn kept her right hand pressing hard on her wife’s left breast, her thumb moving back and forth from the valley towards the nipple but not doing anything other than squeezing the soft flesh there. She moved her left hand up to Ali’s face where she caressed her right cheek once with her thumb and then pulled her head over to the side, exposing her neck. The blonde didn’t hesitate. She attacked the right side of Ali’s neck, where it met the top of her shoulder, with desperate kisses. They were hard and aggressive and they caught the brunette by surprise.

“Oh!” Ali gasped as she reached up with one hand to push her glasses back up onto her nose and felt uncomfortable not being able to see Ashlyn’s face in the mirror anymore. She tried to use her peripheral vision but the keeper’s strong hold kept Ali’s head firmly in place, eyes pointed down and to the side.

Still without a word, Ashlyn started walking backwards, through the bathroom door and into the bedroom, pulling her wife along with her. Ali stumbled at first, surprised again by the maneuver, but she moved with her keeper as best she could. Despite her annoyance and slight concern, the brunette felt a twitch in her core – she always got turned on when Ashlyn displayed her strength. It was a reaction Ali had no control over, and before tonight, had never considered if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

The short walk to the corner of the bed at the foot of Ashlyn’s side took only a few seconds. The keeper’s hungry mouth worked up and down her wife’s neck, kissing, nibbling, sucking...sucking so hard that she would leave a mark. Ali was so distracted by the scenario that she didn’t even notice until it was too late and she felt the pinch, low on her neck.

“Ow! Ashlyn...” she was angry. They had stopped marking each other up with hickeys long long ago, at least in places easily seen by anybody else. “That’s gonna...” but her clipped words were cut off by Ashlyn’s hand sliding from her cheek over her mouth, silencing her.

The keeper’s hot breath and heavy breathing so close to her ear also made Ali’s body react the way it normally did – she felt another tug from between her legs and the first dull ache in her clit. What the fuck was happening? Ashlyn moved her other hand down lower, cupping the brunette’s crotch from outside her pajama pants with the Celtic green four leaf clovers all over them. Ali’s body softened at the touch, responsively wanting more after years of similar moves and positions. But her mind was still fighting to understand. Part of her was fighting back and struggling against her wife’s forceful touches. Why was that? She knew she was safe with Ashlyn. She had never doubted that. It was that same rock solid belief in the blonde that had allowed a barely-healed Ali to go to Ashlyn’s aid during her breakdown in the driveway after Josie’s nightmarish birth. Deb had been afraid to go out and help Ashlyn as the keeper lost her shit and beat the hell out of the car and threw things around the driveway and into the backyard like a maniac. But not Ali. She knew Ashlyn would never hurt her. And even in that topsy turvy time when the two wives were more enemies than friends, Ali went to her in the driveway and helped her. And Ashlyn had not hurt her. She was incapable of hurting her beloved brunette. It was with this unshakeable faith that Ali gave herself up to her troubled keeper that night in December. She had no idea what was going on, but she was going to do her best to try and relax and trust Ashlyn, wherever things were headed.

As soon as Ali closed her eyes and took a couple of big breaths through her nose, she was able to calm herself down. She let the anger go, and the annoyance, and tried to focus on just feeling whatever it was that Ashlyn was feeling. It was clear by then that the keeper had no ability to explain herself verbally. At least not yet. Once Ashlyn felt her wife’s body stop fighting against her, she uncovered the brunette’s mouth and slid both hands inside her pajamas while her lips found Ali’s neck again. Her hands, now energized by feeling warm, bare skin, were just as aggressive as her lips and mouth had been on the brunette’s neck a few moments before. She was rough with her touches. Everything was too hard and too fast and uncoordinated, and Ashlyn seemed further frustrated by that. Ali thought about making a suggestion but decided against it. The keeper was not receiving information that night the way she normally did. The brunette could tell that she was upset about something, she just didn’t know exactly what. She assumed an amalgamation of several things, triggered by Drew’s absence and Josie’s selfish request.

Ashlyn’s growing frustration simmered down a bit when Ali moved both of her own hands back to grab the keeper’s ass. She didn’t do anything other than hold them there though – the brunette was unsure how actively to participate yet. She was afraid to make a mistake. But the ass grab was not a mistake. Ashlyn groaned loudly at the touch and tensed both hands where they were – one on Ali’s other bare breast and the other cupping her pussy. The keeper’s long fingers reached all the way to her wife’s ass while the palm of her hand enjoyed the scratchy short hairs just above her clit. As soon as that frozen tensed moment passed, Ashlyn moved swiftly. She pulled her hand out of Ali’s pants, stepped quickly to the brunette’s side and then scooped her up in her strong arms. Ali yelped in surprise when Ashlyn moved further up the bed and dropped her into the middle of it with a grunt.

As she bounced on the bed, Ali propped herself up on her elbows and watched her wife strip her clothes off at a breakneck pace. The soft grey sweater flew off her flailing arms and landed in the corner near the door to the backstairs. The body-hugging, long-sleeved t-shirt went next, then the black jeans, black socks, black bra, and finally the hot pink boxer briefs with the red Santa hats on them hit the floor. Ashlyn’s shoulder length disheveled hair was extra messy from the speedy disrobing, and her chest was heaving from the recent effort of lifting Ali as well as stripping. She had not met the brunette’s eyes since forcing her head away from the mirror in the bathroom several minutes earlier. Ali hadn’t noticed until right that minute. 

Normally Ashlyn would have looked to those cinnamon eyes for approval before taking her pajama pants off of her, but not tonight. Instead, the keeper grabbed the bottom of each pj leg in one hand and pulled hard. Because Ali was watching carefully, she was able to lift her hips and help the process. She also decided to take her own sleep t-shirt off before leaving it up to the whims of her off-kilter wife that night. As sexy as it had been to be picked up and tossed down on the bed like that – it had always been one of Ali’s favorite things during sexy times, the brunette was missing the emotions that usually came with their sex. Her body was responding to some of Ashlyn’s touches but the brunette’s heart was definitely not in it. But that didn’t seem important to the keeper tonight. So Ali did her best to make it less important too. 

As she lay there watching Ashlyn’s beautiful naked body start to climb onto the bed and up her own naked body, Ali’s mind jumped to more practical things – like was the bedroom door locked? Hell, was it even closed?! The door to the backstairs was closed but not locked, but that wasn’t the door they worried about interruptions coming from. Ali took a deep breath and used all of her willpower not to ask her wife if the hallway door was locked. If she was going to trust Ashlyn on this strange new ride, then she was going to trust her all the way. God, she prayed that door was locked. She wouldn’t put it past Josie to come marching in to further dispute the Christmas trip, or Drew to come in and say goodnight once he finally got home – which could be any minute now. Instead, the brunette forced herself to focus on what was feeling really nice, and that was her wife’s mouth kissing its way up her body.

She took comfort from one final thought about being walked in on by one of the kids – they would be getting an eyeful of Ashlyn’s bare ass, and not hers. With that, Ali tried to focus on her wife’s traveling lips. Unfortunately, they were still too rough and haphazard for her liking. Ashlyn was definitely out of sorts. She was not a lover who fumbled during sex. The keeper had always been as smooth as silk when it came to their intimate times together. Except for an occasional moment where she felt overwhelmed by the depth and breadth of her love for Ali, or if some unexpected problem presented itself at an awkward time - like when she threw her back out in the middle of pounding Ali from behind with the strap-on all those years ago. This Ashlyn tonight felt like what Ali imagined a young, inexperienced Ashlyn might have felt like back in college.

The urgency and aggressiveness were so strange, but the brunette centered herself and tried to relax. If she could just get her brain to shut up for a few minutes she’d have a much better chance at that. She had to get control of herself, calm her mind down...and as she closed her eyes to begin some breathing exercises that had helped her with that in the past, Ali finally had the epiphany she had been hoping for. Her eyes flew open in understanding, but Ashlyn was still not looking at her face so she never even noticed as she worked on the brunette’s nipples with her mouth and her fingers. Control. It was all about control! Ashlyn had been feeling out of control in every aspect of her life for the past 2-1/2 months. She had confided in Ali that she felt like she was being blown around like a leaf in the wind, trying to handle whatever problem presented itself wherever she happened to land at any given moment. It had been a theme for her whole year, actually, but it had been intensified so much since Hannah’s death. 

Ali couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to figure it out. She wondered if Ashlyn had discovered her truth during the group therapy session earlier tonight and that might have been the beginning of this strange ride now. Or maybe she didn’t understand it at all yet and that’s why she couldn’t talk about it with Ali – she was just operating in sheer survival mode. Maybe all Ashlyn knew was that she had to have her wife that night. Maybe she couldn’t find words to ask for permission or maybe the idea that Ali might say no was too much for the keeper to bear. Maybe it was that important, that desperate for her. Ali could remember a few times when she had felt something similar. Some part of life had hurt her or frightened her or stunned her so badly that she had resorted to the one and only thing that she could count on – Ashlyn. Being intimate with Ashlyn always made Ali feel better, about anything. It made her heart and soul happier and stronger and lighter, in addition to how fucking incredible it made her body feel. 

Maybe that’s what this was. Maybe Ashlyn was desperate to feel in control of something, anything, and she knew her wife would let her take that control over her. Maybe Ashlyn just needed to shut her brain and her feelings off for a while. Instead of getting drunk to dull everything, maybe she wanted to disappear into another kind of oblivion, the very best kind of oblivion – their sex. Ali knew she herself was never more at peace than when she was having sex with her wife and she was sure her keeper felt the same. Maybe Ashlyn wasn’t just being an obnoxious jerk tonight. Maybe she needed this more than anything else she could think of. As the brunette’s thoughts raced to put the new puzzle pieces together, Ashlyn finally looked up at her. They locked eyes and the pain and uncertainty in the hazel ones saw nothing but love and acceptance in the tiger ones. Finally. They blinked at each other for a few silent seconds and Ali knew she was right. She could see everything so clearly now. Ashlyn needed her, needed the release, needed the closeness, needed the connection. Or hell, maybe she just needed the distraction – maybe she just wanted to feel something good for a change. Whatever exactly it was, Ali understood where it was coming from. She knew in her bones that it was a cry for help, it was Ashlyn’s way of reaching out for the lifeline. 

As soon as Ali blinked her love back and silently acquiesced, Ashlyn turned back into the gentle, loving, kind keeper again in an instant. She cried soft, emotional tears as she kissed her way back down Ali’s body. So much stress and anxiety was working its way out of every pore of Ashlyn’s body, and those tears were a natural part of it. She didn’t even realize she was crying as she enjoyed the way it felt to be skin to skin with her beautiful wife. It felt like slipping into a warm bath after going for a run in the bitter cold. The warmth enveloped her and filled her with comfort as she moved back up so they were chest to chest, heart to heart. It felt even more incredible when Ali wrapped her arms around her and held her tight, a beautiful, loving smile reassuring Ashlyn that she would be ok. In Ali’s arms, she would always be ok.

They kissed, warm and tender to begin with, but then it gradually intensified as Ali’s hands moved around her love’s back and sides and hips. So much warmth everywhere, and it was all for Ashlyn. After the passionate kiss, the keeper found herself able to breathe deeply for the first time in what felt like forever. The sunrise at the beach in Florida had been the start of a new chapter for the blonde, she had felt it – a reset button had been pushed somewhere inside her. The bumpy group therapy tonight had brought up some feelings and ultimately been a setback for her, but she was back on track now. It was sometimes frightening for Ashlyn to think about how much she needed her wife during those difficult times, but honestly, she couldn’t imagine it any other way. Ali had always grounded her and helped her stay centered, while at the same time allowing and encouraging her to fly. That wonderful saying describing the immense power of being both held and free at the same time was a perfect description of the love Ali and Ashlyn had always shared.

“I’m sor...”

“Shhhhh...” Ali stopped her wife from apologizing with another sultry kiss before reassuring her. “Don’t be sorry baby. I love you. I’m right here with you. I understand now.”

“You do?” the keeper’s voice sounded small and almost childlike. It was clear in that moment that she barely understood it herself.

“Let’s not talk tonight. Let’s just feel good, ok?” the brunette proposed between two more deep kisses. She knew Ashlyn wasn’t ready to talk, that she needed more time to think first. “Let’s let our bodies talk and take what they need from each other.”

And so they made love. They took their time, and tiredness and other consequences be damned. They locked the bedroom doors, put their sexy time playlist on, spread the purple throw of passion on the bed, and enjoyed the hell out of themselves. Ashlyn used the knobby dildo with the strap-on so she wouldn’t have to worry about her fingers misbehaving on her. Ali got up and got the lube so she didn’t have to deal with that other gift from the menopause gods – vaginal dryness. Their aging and changing bodies weren’t going to be discussed and dissected tonight either. They didn’t talk. It was slow, and romantic, and worshipful as they brought each other up the mountain and floated into bliss on the other side. Ashlyn gave Ali her orgasm first with the strap. Then they moved into their favorite 69 position with Ali on top for round two. The keeper cried hard after she came, so hard that Ali got worried about her even though she told herself it would probably happen. It was all good though – releasing the built-up stress that had no other outlet. The brunette stayed in her position, giving Ashlyn her favorite spot all through her post-orgasm tears. And neither one of them cared. Ali rested her cheek against her keeper’s upper thigh and let her fingers trace tattoos. She pressed soft kisses into her wife’s skin from time to time, while Ashlyn blubbered like a baby. Her tears streamed down the sides of her face because she was unwilling to turn away from her spectacular view.

Once the keeper had cried herself out, Ali guided her into the shower and tenderly washed every inch of her body for her. The brunette put such care into every touch and caress that Ashlyn felt like she was floating on a cloud. Neither woman had any idea what time it was or how long they had been worshipping one another. And they didn’t fucking care. All they knew was that they needed each other that night. They needed each other like they hadn’t needed anything in a long time. Yes, Ashlyn was the one in distress, but Ali got just as much out of the deep, intimate experience that night as her wife did. Those intense connections were just as good for her soul as they were for Ashlyn’s. 

The brunette didn’t allow Ashlyn to lift a finger during or after the shower. The only energy the keeper exerted was to hold herself up against the tiled wall of the shower while her beautiful brunette ate her out and gave her another orgasm. It wasn’t planned, but Ali couldn’t help herself. So much touching of all that gorgeous skin made her wild with desire again and she just had to taste her wife one more time that night.

“Please...” Ali looked up at her keeper’s blurry face, so hard to see from down on her knees like that without her glasses. Ashlyn had tried to pull her back up but she was too relaxed to have any coordination or strength still in her limbs. “Let me...” Ali begged, “I need to...”

Ashlyn couldn’t have argued even if she had wanted to. And she didn’t really want to. She felt bad that her wife was doting on her like a baby, but it felt so fucking good. And before the keeper could even say a word, she felt Ali’s strong hands opening her legs wider and slowly teasing her entrance. Ashlyn didn’t even think she had another orgasm in her – that’s how completely drained her entire body felt. But if Ali wanted to try, she wasn’t going to stop her. The warm water felt good as it hit the blonde’s body from the left, with her back up against the smooth tiled wall. Her mind, blessedly, was empty. Finally devoid of worry or anxiety or concern about anything other than how she might be able to find the strength to keep her feet if she did have another orgasm. Her legs felt like spaghetti and she couldn’t feel her arms any more at all. Everything was just a wonderful warm tingly sensation. And Ali hadn’t even put her mouth to work yet.

The brunette slowly kissed her way up Ashlyn’s right thigh, following the dark ink of the antique diving helmet and the whale there. She let her fingers rub lazily across her wife’s mound and gently rake through the neatly trimmed hair there. The shower was warm and the water was hot and as much as shower sex wasn’t Ali’s favorite thing for herself – she did love fucking her wife there. The brunette’s talented tongue moved up the inside of her keeper’s left thigh while her hand traced the large Poseidon tattoo – starting at the shark’s belly and zig-zagging across the Greek God’s face and up into the curling wave atop his head. It was a constant debate inside Ali’s head – did she love the dark ink or the pale skin all over her wife’s body more? She knew she would never be able to come up with an answer.

As soon as she got to the top of the cresting wave, Ali moved her mouth to the left and slowly made her way to Ashlyn’s mound. She pressed warm kisses to it and the top of her clit, careful not to touch the sensitive bud just yet. The brunette hummed as she moved her mouth lower and tilted her head back so she could reach her tongue out and lap at Ashlyn’s entrance.

“Mmmmmm... so good” Ali mumbled as she slowly pressed her face into her wife’s pussy. 

Her tongue lapped at the velvety folds, wet with more than just water from the shower. She looked up to see Ashlyn rest her head back against the wall with a whimper. The brunette took that as a very good sign and began to feast. It wasn’t designed to be a knock your socks off kind of a feast though. It was really kind of selfish. Ali knew her wife was spent and running on blissful fumes at that point, but she needed a taste. She just had to have another taste before they called it quits for the night. And what a taste it was. The brunette sucked gently on Ashlyn’s lips, outer and then inner, moving her mouth up and back along the entire length. Every time she got near the top, and the blonde’s sensitive clit, Ashlyn twitched and moaned just a little. It felt wonderful to have so much of her sweet keeper all around her and all over her face and Ali breathed as deeply as she could without inhaling the shower water too. She eased her tongue up into Ashlyn’s pussy and pushed her face even farther into the soft flesh.

“Mmmmmmm...”

“Fuck...” Ashlyn whispered when her wife moaned loudly up into her core.

It didn’t take very long after that. Ali worked her tongue around silken walls as far as she could reach. She made sure to press up into Ashlyn’s g-spot a few times too before sliding her mouth up to her clit.

“Do you wanna come again, gorgeous?”

“Y...yes...” Ashlyn gasped but even that was slow and quiet. “Yes please...”

Ali slid one finger inside her wife then and applied suction to her clit with her mouth. Ashlyn had been holding onto the wall behind her with both hands, believing that it would help her remain standing when she had her orgasm. But as soon as she felt her wife’s finger and mouth go to work, she grabbed a handful of Ali’s hair with one hand and didn’t let go again.

“Mmmmm....fuck, you taste good” Ali moaned again, knowing how good the vibrations felt for her keeper. “You feel so fucking good. Jesus...”

Ali had barely started pushing her finger into Ashlyn’s sweet spot in any kind of rhythm, had barely applied much suction to her sensitive bud, but as soon as she took a quick break to breath, and gave her keeper’s clit two or three soft flicks – Ashlyn came with a surprising shudder, tightening her fist in brunette locks and grunting through it.

“Unnnhhhh...Al...Ali...fuuckk...”

Ali felt her wife’s body start to slump after the medium-sized stealth orgasm passed through and she shifted her own position so she could support her if necessary.

“I’ve got you honey. I’m right here. You can let go” she cooed as she stood up and hugged the blonde when it was clear her legs weren’t really going to give all the way out on her. “Let’s get rinsed off and get ready for bed, ok Allstar?”

“MmmHmm” Ashlyn nodded her approval over her wife’s shoulder as she enjoyed the end of her release.

15 minutes later Ali was standing behind her wife who was seated in the dressing table chair with a dopey grin on her slack face. The brunette had dried them both off and gotten them both dressed for bed. 

“Feeling better, love?” Ali asked softly as she combed her wife’s damp hair for her. 

“Much” Ashlyn worked her relaxed face into a tired but true smile. Her eyes were lidded but it was from exhaustion and relaxation, not lust this time. She hadn’t felt this pampered since Ali had given her that spa day way back when Ashlyn had her shoulder surgery – before they were even officially together. “You’re so good” was all she could manage to say that December night while her wife combed her hair. “Love you.”

“I love you too, beautiful” Ali leaned down from behind the chair and inhaled deeply before kissing her keeper’s cheek. 

She wanted one more hit of the good stuff before they officially gave up and got some sleep. It had been a strange but wonderful night, one neither of them would ever forget. Ali knew she would feel like death warmed over when her alarm went off in a few hours, but too fucking bad. Sometimes you just needed to be there for each other, no matter what it was that was required. That’s what marriage was all about. If you didn’t love your partner enough to put up with a little discomfort in order to help them out of something hard, then you weren’t in the right relationship. Ali and Ashlyn had always done that for each other. Whatever the issue was and whoever needed the help, they were always there for each other. Neither woman could think of a time when they wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice for their love. 

Ali guided her half-asleep wife into bed, tucked her in, and then got in on her own side of the bed. She smiled and felt her heart surge when Ashlyn rolled onto her right side and scooted back towards the middle of the bed. She wanted to be the little spoon and the brunette was more than happy to oblige as the big spoon. 

“Will you love me?” the keeper barely managed to get the words out, and they weren’t really the ones she meant, not all of them anyway.

Ali giggled softly as she got into position, wrapping her arm around Ashlyn’s middle and curling her legs up into the back of her thighs. She knew she meant to say ‘Will you hold me?’ because that’s what she always asked when she wanted to be spooned like this. But it didn’t matter. Hold or Love. The answer would always be the same and the simplest answer in the world. The brunette kissed her wife’s shoulder and then snuggled into place in her own pillow as she whispered her reply.

“Always. Forever.”


	26. Christmas in Florida 2036

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life, man. Life.  
> Good news is that there will now be 27 chapters in the story. I have one more to edit and post and I hope to do that this coming weekend. Worst case will be sometime next week. So you get an extra chapter for your patience. <3  
> Let me know what you think about this chapter, please. Lots going on, but one thing has been a looooooooooong time coming.  
> I'm so excited for USWNT camp! And Ali's post for Ashlyn's birthday yesterday was adorable and sweet. So many good things going on for them right now. I couldn't be happier for them.

Whenever the Kriegers flew with their 4 youngest children, they sat together in two groups of three. Depending on the size of the airplane and the way the seats were broken up, sometimes they were all in the same row with three on each side of the center aisle. Other times, when they were on a flight with 2 seats on one side of the aisle, they would take two rows of three on the other side of the aisle, one right behind the other. There were always exceptions, of course, and oftentimes there were extra travelers with them, like Meg or Deb. The exact seating arrangement on any given flight depended on the mood and behavior and age of the kids at the time. Sometimes decisions weren’t made until the family was tromping down the aisle looking for their row, or rows. When the kids had been younger, each mom sat in between two kids and handled whatever needs those two kids happened to have during the flight. They always split the twins up because they were usually the most challenging, simply because they were the youngest and needed more help. Sometimes the mom would sit in the aisle seat so the two kids could play a travel game together or share some other electronic device or screen.

One of the things that Ashlyn would not tolerate was switching seats mid-flight. She hated that. She thought it was too bothersome to the other passengers who would be disturbed by kids plopping roughly into seats, jostling tray tables behind those seats or pushing on the backs of the seats in front of them and using them for physical leverage as they moved into their new positions. It was a chorus of embarrassed Ashlyn apologies on the rare times it happened. But, over the years and with guidance from Ali, the keeper had grown to understand that sometimes switching seats was just a hell of a lot easier than trying to survive an entire flight with pissy kids who were hellbent on being obnoxious to one another out of sheer boredom. 

It was Tuesday December 23rd at 8:30pm and the Kriegers were halfway from Boston to Melbourne, FL. The flight was packed full and there was anticipation in the air, even though it was later in the evening when most flights are usually darker and quieter. Everyone on the plane was excited to be traveling someplace for Christmas. Ashlyn and Ali sat on one side of the aisle with Drew, while Josie and the twins sat across from them in the same row. Meg and Charlie were much farther back, in the last 3 or 4 rows of the plane. They weren’t even sitting together because they hadn’t booked their flight until much later than Ali had made the rest of the family’s plans. Ashlyn and Ali had known for months that they were going to spend Christmas with Mike Harris in Satellite Beach. They knew Meg and Charlie were going to spend the holiday with Hannah, either in DC or Aspen or maybe even on a cruise. Those plans, at the time, hadn’t been finalized yet. Everybody knew now, of course, that Hannah wanted to bring Meg and Charlie to the Aspen condo, with Reenie, and share the truth about their relationship. And then propose to Reenie. So many unfulfilled plans for this Christmas were making it difficult and extra sad for Meg.

Ashlyn, from her seat on the aisle of row 14, turned all the way around to check on the redhead and her boyfriend. She smiled to see that someone had offered to switch seats with Charlie so he could sit with Meg. Thank God for the Christmas spirit. Charlie was easy to spot with his big head sticking up a foot taller than almost everybody else’s back there. He was looking down, reading no doubt, and Meg’s head was on his shoulder as she slept. The poor girl still wasn’t sleeping well, and often napped to make up for it.

“Mama, Mama...” Lily leaned forward in the middle seat across the aisle to Ashlyn’s left, and waved her hand to get her mother’s attention. Her voice sounded loud in the cabin even though she wasn’t using anywhere near her top decibel volume.

“What is it Lil?” the keeper turned her attention to the blonde and tried to keep her worry about Meg in check. 

It had been 2 weeks since her therapeutic night in her wife’s loving care, and Ashlyn had been to see Dr. Emerson 3 different times. She hadn’t liked the way she had handled that night with Ali, even though her sweet brunette understood and absolved her of any lingering guilt about the atypical way things had started in the bathroom. Ashlyn believed her wife and accepted her forgiveness for being pushy and uncommunicative at first. But the keeper still didn’t like the fact that she had allowed herself to get to the point where she had felt so out of control in her own head that she had to exert control over Ali that way in the first place. Control was what she had been focusing on with Dr. Emerson and Ashlyn felt stronger after each of the three sessions. She knew that she was in control of her own reactions to things going on around her. She had always known that, of course, but it had been hard to remember over the past 2-1/2 months. Now, whenever she felt anxiety over Meg, or any of the kids, she had to focus on three tangible things in her life at that given moment that she could control. Any three things that she could touch or feel. 

In that moment on the plane as she waited to hear what Lily needed, Ashlyn thought to herself: ‘I can control how far I tilt my seat back. I can control the amount of air blowing down on me from that tiny little nozzle above my head. And I can control...how much water I drink because I brought my own water bottle on the flight.’

“How much longer?” Lily’s voice brought the keeper out of her head and Ashlyn was relieved to hear nothing but genuine curiosity in her daughter’s voice. Lily wasn’t whining or being dramatic about it. She probably just forgot, again, what time their flight was supposed to land. “I forget” the girl grinned and giggled at herself as Dodge, seated next to her in the aisle seat, rolled his eyes.

“Geez, Wee. We land at 10:20pm” he sighed and shook his head. “It’s the same answer every time you ask” he gave her a disbelieving look, and Ashlyn was struck by how much the twins sounded like an old married couple sometimes. 

“A couple more hours” the keeper nodded at her daughter with a warm smile. “I thought you guys were watching the Grinch?”

“Dodgie wanted ‘Die Hard’” she shrugged in reply and slipped the headphones back onto her head with another giggle as her twin unpaused the movie on the iPad they were sharing.

Ashlyn stifled a laugh while she thought about how ‘Yippee Kai Yay motherfucker’ had been shouted around the big old house that December as the kids discovered the classic blockbuster film that was set during a work Christmas party. Nobody was sure how or why the movie had become THE movie that holiday season for the family, but it had. Ashlyn and Ali were just thankful for something that all four kids embraced and something the whole family genuinely enjoyed watching together.

“Everything ok?” Ali’s soft voice was in Ashlyn’s other ear, and her hand was on her thigh with a light squeeze. 

“Yeah, all good” the keeper smiled back. 

“Josie trouble yet?” the brunette asked, afraid of the answer.

“Nah, she’s writing away” Ashlyn patted her wife’s hand on her thigh and then covered it with her own. They both looked across the aisle at the redhead in the window seat who was hunched over her tray table with her ear pods in and her black hoodie up. Her left hand was scribbling at a fast pace across the lines of a spiral bound notebook. “Probably the next great American novel” the keeper winked at her wife.

“Or a list of all the things Trevor has done wrong...” Ali lowered her voice and chuckled as she referenced Josie’s latest boyfriend. Instead of selecting one boy for the whole sophomore year, Josie was dating a different boy every month – and none of them very seriously.

“Is she still seeing him?” Ashlyn asked, her voice just as low and pointed towards their side of the plane.

The two moms cocked their heads at each other and tried to work out the puzzle.

“They broke up, well, she broke up with him, but then they got back together” Drew answered as he stopped his video game for a drink and a check in on the real world around him. His headphones were down around the back of his neck and Ashlyn was glad they hadn’t been talking about anything they really wanted to keep private.

“Well there you go” Ali shook her head in both wonder and a bit of sadness. “At least you know there was trouble in paradise” she nodded at her wife. “I didn’t know any of that.”

“Did you really wanna know?” Drew quirked his eyebrow as he guzzled the rest of his Gatorade. “Cuz I didn’t.”

Ashlyn laughed and added, “He’s got a point.”

Ali had decided that she wasn’t going to let her fractured relationship with Josie ruin her Christmas – or Josie’s Christmas. Everybody that the brunette had talked to about the schism that had developed between she and the bratty redhead all said to just ride it out. If Ali waited long enough, Josie would come back to her. They also cautioned that the harder Ali tried to force things between she and the girl, the longer it would take for Josie to come back. So the mom with the Josie-sized hole in her heart was doing her best to just muscle her way through it. Ali knew Josie still loved her – she could see it in her eyes when the girl’s guard was down. Knowing it was a conscious effort to distance herself from her mother didn’t make Ali feel any better about it though. In some ways that was even worse.

“Well as long as you’re dishing the dirt” Ali elbowed the 17-1/2 year old teenager next to her, “can you confirm that Lily is still in the non-believer camp?”

“Huh?” Drew’s face scrunched up in confusion as he moved his headphones back up into place, leaving the one for his left ear on his cheek until he was finished talking with his mothers. “Oh, you mean Santa” he laughed. “Yeah, she’s with us.”

“Are you sure?” the brunette pressed him, wanting to be certain. “Because she said something at Thanksgiving about writing to him again...”

“Did she really?” Drew looked surprised.

“I just don’t want her to be disappointed...” 

“Mom, you can’t go back now” he furrowed his brow. “She was fine last year. She’ll be fine again this year” he passed his assessment on, covered his left ear with headphone and got back to his game.

“He’s right you know” Ashlyn intertwined her fingers with her wife’s, hands still on her thigh. “There’s no going back.”

“I know” Ali sighed. “I just...I don’t know, I got excited when I heard her say that at Thanksgiving.”

“It must have been a joke or something, that’s all. Or she’s playing an angle...” 

Ali looked up at her wife, bothered by the thought that Lily was trying to scam them out of extra presents or something and using her belief in Santa Claus to pull it off.

“No, you don’t think that, do you?”

“No sugarplum, I don’t” the keeper chuckled. It had been very hard for both moms last year, when all four kids officially stopped believing in Santa Claus. It was natural for Ali to go through a kind of a relapse this year about it. But there was no freaking way they were going backwards now. No freaking way. “What? Do you miss racing around the house every night moving those damned elves around?” Ashlyn laughed.

“Or before the crack of dawn, with my heart hammering because I forgot the night before?” Ali shook her head emphatically. “No thank you. I don’t miss that for a second.”

“Well, there you go baby. The flip side of the coin. Right?”

“You’re right. You’re right” Ali admitted finally, moving her arm around her wife’s bicep and pulling it in for a hug. She rested her forehead on Ashlyn’s shoulder and then turned her head to the side so her cheek rested there instead. “There’s no going back. Only forward. Got it” she nodded and tried not to think about how scary that sounded. “Who knows?” she smiled up at her keeper, “maybe we can sleep in a little later Christmas morning this year too, right?”

“That’s the spirit” Ashlyn leaned over and kissed her temple. “Best Christmas ever.”

//

The naivete of that statement was not lost on Ali, but neither woman wanted to talk about it on the plane. This would be, undoubtedly, Mike Harris’ last Christmas. Everyone tried their best not to let the melancholy take over. It was challenging, but the family came together and managed to have a fun and fulfilling Christmas. They ate too much, laughed a lot, napped some, played card games and board games and video games and even outdoor games like soccer and football. They stayed at Tammye and Carol’s beach house in Melbourne Beach, and spent time at Chris and Beth’s house in Satellite Beach as well. Lydia was more present for the family gathering than she had ever been before, and while it was welcomed by all of the Harrises and Kriegers, it was an ominous indicator at the same time. 

The plan was for Ashlyn and her family to stay in Florida for 10 nights, flying home to Boston on Friday January 2nd. Drew had an important swim meet on Saturday morning and Josie had to get back to practicing her piano for the upcoming District auditions. The twins’ youth basketball games weren’t starting for another couple of weeks. Ali offered to take Drew and Josie home early and let Ashlyn and the twins stay two more days, but the keeper wanted them all to travel together. All of the turmoil that Fall and the time she had spent away from her immediate family, or yelling at them when she was home, had made her more conscious than ever of keeping them close now. In an effort to thank Josie for giving up her caroling event with her high school chamber singers group to make the trip to Florida, Ashlyn took the family Christmas caroling on Christmas Eve. They joined a group from Beth Harris’ church on their rounds through three of the many senior living facilities in the area. It turned out to be one of the highpoints of the trip.

The Kriegers may not have been able to do some of their regular Christmastime traditions, like skating on Frog Pond at Boston Common, or putting the star on the top of the tree Christmas Eve, or opening all of the little drawers full of treats on the wooden advent calendar, but they did manage to hang onto a couple of them even while so far from the big old house.

“Is this the year or what Mama?” Dodge laughed Friday morning as he came up the spiral staircase from the basement to the main floor of the beach house. He stopped at the nearby dining room table on his way into the kitchen for a snack, and found Ashlyn starting to work on her annual attempt to build a gingerbread house from scratch. She was finalizing the recipe and making a shopping list for ingredients. “Is this the one that’s finally gonna stay standing AND taste good?” he grinned from ear to ear as he teased his mother about her quest.

“Yes Dodger” she winked at him with her dimple on display and optimism in her heart. “Yes it is, my boy.”

She was getting a late start on it but there had been other pressing things to deal with upon their arrival – like last-minute presents to buy and wrap, and Christmas carols to sing. So Friday, the day after Christmas, Ashlyn started baking the slabs of gingerbread that she would cut into different sized squares and start building with, if she could get the batter NOT to taste like dirty cardboard. That had been the problem all along. Sometimes she got the gingerbread to stand up ok and perform well enough as a construction element, but it tasted like ass. Sometimes she got it tasting absolutely delicious but it wouldn’t stand up for more than an hour before falling in on itself, no matter how much icing she piped into the corners and seams to support it. And sometimes, although not very often, the gingerbread recipe she had been tweaking for 5 years by now would fail in both regards. 

But Ashlyn felt good about this year’s batch and tweak – she had learned something from each failure and applied it to the following year’s recipe tweak. She really felt confident about her recipe this year. Following her schedule, all of the gingerbread slabs would be baked and cooled and rested enough to build with by Monday. Then she would get to work on the structure. If she got it to stand up and stay standing up, then she could start decorating it on Tuesday. She was a woman on a mission but she had to spread it out so she could spend time with the rest of her family too. It was a well devised plan – even Ali approved it, although she had always been the most supportive person in the family about the gingerbread house quest. Now if they could just get it to work.

//

“Well it sounds like Meg’s doing better, and so are you, so that’s good” Liz smiled at Ashlyn as the two old friends sat side by side on the pier overlooking the ocean on Saturday, just after noon time. 

The keeper had met her first truly meaningful best friend for lunch that day and they had opted for take-out from their favorite beachside taco joint so they could have privacy while they got caught up on each other’s lives. It didn’t matter how much time went by between visits with the two old friends – it only took one hug to reestablish the connection. And this visit was so soon after the Thanksgiving trip that both Liz and Ashlyn were giddy about being able to see each other twice in two months. Yes, the reason for the back to back visits was terrible, but there was no way Liz was going to let Ashlyn forget about the good things that were happening because of it too. It felt wonderful sitting there next to each other, just like they used to do all the way back in high school. Ashlyn would ride her bike to meet Liz on her quick lunch break from work. They would sit on the pier, dangling their legs off, and eat their tacos and talk. And laugh. Liz had always been able to make Ashlyn laugh, even in some of her darkest times before she finally got into therapy at UNC. 

Ashlyn had tried a million times to get Liz to move away from the sleepy little beach town, but it never worked. Liz was determined, for a reason Ashlyn would never understand, to stay in Satellite Beach with her idiot husband. This was the same guy who Liz had been dating, off and on again, since high school and he was an idiot. Liz’s big life-affirming moment had been giving her then-boyfriend an ultimatum. Ashlyn was secretly hoping that the idiot would say no, refuse to propose and get married, so that Liz would finally be free. But it didn’t happen. Liz was living the quiet, boring little life that Ashlyn had been so desperate to escape when she left Satellite Beach for UNC. And the thing that bowled Ashlyn over was the fact that Liz seemed happy enough with her life there, idiot husband and all. The keeper didn’t judge her old friend, aside from her choice of husband that is, but Ashlyn simply couldn’t understand Liz’s choices. And, at the end of the day, that was ok because they were Liz’s choices, and not Ashlyn’s. 

The two friends had spent almost two hours talking as they ate their tacos and then took a walk along the beach – ending up outside the hidden grotto that Ashlyn had taken Ali to on the brunette’s first visit to Satellite Beach. Ashlyn and Liz came up to the grotto from the beach, walking up the stream and stopping just outside the cool, shaded, lush oasis. It was December though, and the Florida girls decided to stay in the sun and on the sand as they plopped down to rest their legs. They had covered every topic possible in both their lives before getting to Ashlyn’s own condition.

“Yeah, I’m doing better” the keeper nodded and then focused her eyes on the slowly receding sea. It would be low tide soon, but not quite yet. The expanse of dark wet sand between them and the ocean was slick and the sunlight danced across it as if it was glass. “I feel like such a goddamned baby though” she admitted with a sheepish blush. “Everybody’s worried about me and I’m not the one who lost their mom, or who’s even sick.” 

“Yeah but come on” Liz nudged her with her elbow, eyes also following the water sliding away from them, down the wet sand. “You’ve had a lot of shit thrown at you this year. A lot of people you love a lot have lost their moms and gotten sick. Anybody in your shoes would be having a hard time...”

“But they wouldn’t” Ashlyn shook her head in disagreement, her voice soft. “You wouldn’t. Whit wouldn’t. Ali wouldn’t...” 

Liz could see it was a subject her friend had spent a good amount of time considering. Ashlyn’s statement was matter-of-fact. She wasn’t looking for coddling or sympathy. She was making a serious analytical comparison.

“Ash, come on...” Liz tried to discourage the exercise that she knew wouldn’t help resolve anything for her friend.

“No, really. I mean, I know I’m more sensitive. I get it. But there’s no way anybody should be more worried about me this Christmas than they are about Whit or Meg or...my dad.”

Liz let the statement of fact hang there in the air because she knew the keeper was right. She wasn’t going to try and tell her something different, just to make her feel better. That was never what their friendship had been about. They had always told each other the truth, always.

“Here’s what I know” Liz replied instead, her voice steady but serene, assertive but smooth. “You feel things more than most people do. That’s just a fact. It’s something that makes you special Ash. It’s something that helps you be a better friend, and a better mom, and a better wife, and a better daughter, and a better sister...” she paused and bumped her shoulder into the keeper’s as they both watched the ocean in front of them. “But it’s like any superpower, right? There’s always a catch. There’s always a price to pay for such a special gift.”

They were both quiet for a minute, deep in thought as the breeze blew in off the sea. Staying in the sun had been the right call that afternoon, for sure. Liz’s words hadn’t been revolutionary. It wasn’t the first time Ashlyn had heard her say them. Hell, Liz wasn’t the first or only person to have that conversation with the keeper either. It wasn’t news, but it was something that Ashlyn needed to be reminded of from time to time, especially when life was in so much turmoil all around her.

“You think?” the keeper asked in a small voice, following the script that had been the typical ending to this conversation with Liz over the years. “Really?”

“Definitely” Liz nodded as she played her part too. 

Sometimes there was more back and forth before they got to the resolution. Sometimes Ashlyn needed more reassuring, but the therapy appointments with Dr. Emerson had clearly been very helpful. No matter how much time the keeper needed between the superpower and special gift line and the final line Liz hadn’t delivered yet, that final line never changed. It was a testament to how young they had both been when they had started having this conversation in the first place. In high school, way back in 2000 when they were 15 years old, Liz fell in love with the music of the pioneer of alternative rock, R.E.M., and became a walking encyclopedia of information on the band and its’ members. She was especially fond of the lead singer and lyricist, Michael Stipe. He was known for his rich, distinctive voice and his quirky stage presence. 15-year old Liz had quite astutely taken one of Stipe’s quotes from a Rolling Stone interview and applied it to her best friend’s tender heart situation. That late-December afternoon on the beach with Ashlyn, Liz spoke the line again as the two friends leaned into each other and watched the tide keep rolling out.

“As Michael Stipe once said, ‘I’m blessed, frankly, with really bad sinuses. I put up with the snot, because I got a great voice in exchange.’”

Both women smiled and were quiet for another minute or two.

“Thanks for helping me deal with my snot” Ashlyn put her arm around Liz’s shoulders and squeezed her in a sidehug as they both chuckled. “I love you Lizard.”

//

Later that night, everybody went to Chris and Beth’s house for a casual family dinner. A small group gathered in the living room after dinner to watch some of the college football bowl games, while a bigger group got ready to play cards in the screen porch. That was something that had never changed, neither the cards nor the screen porch. When Chris and Beth moved into Gram’s house and made it their own, they hadn’t done much to the screen porch because it was already pretty perfect. And it was still what the family did after dinner whenever they were gathered together. Nobody even had to prompt anybody to do it either. It was almost as if Gram herself was there, leading them to the next event on her hostess schedule. Cards on the screen porch.

That Saturday night was no different. Ali and Beth had cooked dinner, so Ashlyn and Chris were supervising the clean up before making their way to the screen porch. Mike and Ali were among the group sitting around the table there, getting the score pad and the deck of cards and the drinks ready. By now, everybody knew that Mike had one or two games in him, maybe three if he had napped for a long time that afternoon, before he had to go home to bed. He was doing surprisingly well but he still felt exhausted most of the time. 

“I can’t thank you all enough for coming back down again” Mike cleared his throat and repeated the sentiment he had expressed almost daily since the Kriegers had arrived Tuesday night. “I just can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s great to be here” Ali gave her father-in-law a smile from a few seats away around the table. “Thanks for having us.”

“I’m sure missing your mom’s special cookies though” he admitted shyly. He was trying to be honest, but he didn’t want to make anybody feel guilty either. 

“Yeah, me too” Meg added with a wistful sigh. The redhead was missing Deb more than most of them were that visit.

“Me too” Tammye chimed in. “Especially those licorice ones. I love those.”

“Oh, she’s sorry not to be here too” Ali replied with a frown. “But she promised Edgar and Cristina that she would go with them when they brought Grammy I to visit Jared in Los Angeles this Christmas.”

Kyle had offered to try and change his family’s plans around once news of Mike’s diagnosis had reached him. With Jared Kimball relocated to Los Angeles and Nathan and Kyle in NYC, Iris Kimball was by herself in her assisted living community on the North Shore of Massachusetts. The two brothers were trying to figure out how to handle the situation and the first thing Iris asked to do was to see her youngest son’s new life on the West Coast. That had been how planning for the Christmas trip to LA had begun earlier in the year. Deb had been recruited early on because she and Iris had become closer over the years and also because Deb was always fun and good company.

“Well, Ali I think your cookies are just as good as your mom’s” Carol offered supportively. It was almost true, but not quite. Deb had perfected the delicate assortment of Italian cookies over decades of baking them every Christmas. Ali’s were very very good, but Deb’s were still better. “Maybe we should make some tomorrow, what do you think?” the charming southerner looked around the table where heads were all nodding and faces were grinning in anticipation.

“Well ok then” Ali returned a bright smile. “But I’m gonna need some helpers...”

“You’d better teach me how to make those anisette ones” Carol winked at the brunette and then patted Tammye’s arm. “Happy wife, happy life.”

//

Charlie Applegate had been as good and loving and kind and supportive as he knew how to be, but he could tell his girlfriend was having a difficult time that Christmas. He just didn’t know what to do for her anymore. He had dropped everything and left the big conference in London so he could be with her for her mother’s services. He had waited patiently in their Cambridge home while she did her travelling thing and tried to run away from her grief. He had flown to Florida for both Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, missing important social events for his job to do so. Even though they were dorky scientists, there was still an important social element to his work, both within the university lab and outside of it. Charlie had made sacrifices for his love and would gladly do it all again if necessary. But after 3 full months of feeling out of control, and out of sorts, and every kind of worry about his girlfriend – Charlie was ready for some more consistency in his day to day life. 

He had very gently broached the subject with Meg when they made their late flight plans for the Christmas trip to Florida. It had not gone well. Meg wasn’t ready to hear what he needed. She just couldn’t do it yet. The subject had finally come to a head while they were trying to figure out how long to stay in Florida. At the time, Meg had agreed to Charlie staying through Sunday December 28th and flying home early Monday morning so he could get back to the lab that afternoon. She was staying until Friday January 2nd and flying back on the same flight as the rest of her family.

“We talked about this already Megs” he tried to reason with her Sunday morning. She had come back to bed after her usual very early rising time, hoping for some snuggles. But he was already up and preparing to pack. “We agreed that I’ll fly home Monday morning” he continued with his voice level and steady as he put clean clothes he hadn’t worn into his suitcase and tossed dirty clothes into a pile that he was going to wash that day. “And you’ll stay until Friday. That’s the plan. That’s what our tickets say.”

After some more back and forth, and hemming and hawing from Meg, the bee in her bonnet finally made itself clear.

“But I want you to stay” she whined. “You can change your ticket. Hell, I’ll buy you five damned tickets...”

“You know I’m trying to be here for you...” he started, his voice revealing the slightest hint of exasperation despite his best efforts to hide it.

“I know, you’ve been great...” she exhaled loudly and flopped dramatically onto the bed, her eyes still on the tall guy she loved more and more all the time.

“But it’s frustrating when you do this” he continued his thought after her interruption.

“Do what?” she rolled onto her side and propped her head up in her left hand as she watched him carefully. The last thing she wanted to do was fight with him on their final day together for the week, but he could be so intransigent sometimes. It was maddening. “What am I doing?”

Charlie stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. He took a deep breath and chose his words carefully.

“You said you were ok with this plan when we booked our flights. We talked about it. We agreed. But now you’re making me feel guilty about it...”

“I can’t make you feel anything” Meg countered childishly. He had called her on her bullshit and she didn’t like it one bit. “You’re in control of your feelings, not me. I can’t help it if you feel guilty.”

“Fine” he acquiesced, clenching his jaw and trying to control his temper. “I feel guilty leaving you...”

“Again” she cut him off. If he wanted to do this then she would do this. Meg felt like shit as she used her words to hurt him. She knew what she was doing but she was unable to stop herself. “You left after mom’s funeral too.”

Charlie’s mouth fell open as the verbal blow landed hard. It took him a few seconds because he was always slow to anger, but he was angry now. That was a low blow. Meg was surprised at herself too. She blinked like a deer in headlights as she wished desperately that she could take her words back. She knew that Charlie’s job was very competitive. There was always the risk of losing your position in the lab, of losing your rank. If another scientist was doing more work or getting better results, they were given more lab time. If it happened often enough, that scientist would get promoted a level in the lab – usually at the cost of somebody already there being demoted. For every minute Charlie spent out of the lab, there were 9 or 10 other colleagues who were in the lab and working hard. They were all in the same boat, but the scientists who didn’t have a girlfriend had a distinct advantage when it came to time management. There was no sweetheart pulling them away for couples time. But Charlie had come to terms with that before he had even accepted the job right after college. If having Meg in his life meant he was going to advance slower than some of his other colleagues, then he was ok with that. His life with Meg was worth it – that’s how much he loved her. 

What he hadn’t anticipated was Hannah’s death and the crisis it had caused for his redhead. That had been a wrench in the works for sure. And it had been 3 straight months of time lost in the lab for Charlie since then. While he was ok with getting promoted on a slower track, he was in no way, shape or form ok with getting demoted. That was not something that had ever happened to him. That was not something he would ever allow to happen. That was simply not an option for the brilliant scientist. Charlie would not be Charlie if he allowed that to happen. That determination and dedicated work ethic was something the couple had in common and had always admired in each other. He found it hard to believe that Meg would even be attracted to him anymore if he sacrificed something so intrinsic to his core. 

Meg felt her heart ache when she saw the hurt in his eyes. Then she felt her stomach lurch, knowing she was the cause of that pain. She opened and closed her mouth two times, trying to get some kind of apology to come out – with no luck.

“I, uh...” Charlie cleared his throat and spoke when it was obvious that Meg wasn’t going to say anything else. “I’m going to go home tomorrow morning, as planned. I’m going to live at the lab this week and try to get caught up” he sniffled, revealing the soft gooey center of his sometimes robotic exterior. He was a real goofball and a total softie when it came to Meg, except when it involved debate or disagreement. His logic would always shape that part of their relationship. “Then when you get home I should be able to get back to a normal schedule. Pretty close, I hope.”

Meg fought back her own tears when she saw how upset he was. Why couldn’t she get a hold of herself? Why were her emotions still all over the place? She had been doing better for a while but now, Christmastime, she was on edge again. And poor Charlie was suffering for it. In the pause where she wanted again to apologize but again was unable to, Charlie turned his head away and wiped his eyes before speaking again.

“I’m gonna take a shower and finish up in here” he nodded at his suitcase as he moved towards the bedroom door in the basement of the beach house. He stopped in the hallway with a face that was mostly sad, but with some confusion and a bit of anger there too. He pulled the door closed behind him after adding, “I’ll find you when I’m done.”

//

There were two group family events on Sunday afternoon. Ali and her helpers made Deb’s special Italian cookies at Chris and Beth’s house in Satellite Beach. And Chris and Mike Harris led a fishing excursion at a beach that was known for excellent surfcasting just a couple of towns south of Melbourne Beach. Meg let Charlie decide what he wanted to do on their last vacation day together, and the young man chose to learn how to fish while standing knee-deep in the Atlantic Ocean. She wasn’t sure if his decision was meant as a punishment for her bad behavior earlier, or if he genuinely wanted to try bonding with the men in her family. It didn’t matter, really. If it was a punishment, it was certainly deserved and Meg would take it. Either way, she was determined to try not to ruin the day with her untenable emotions. Surfcasting it was.

Mike Harris was in his glory – at the beach, in the ocean, with his family all around him as he continued the ongoing lessons on surfcasting. Drew and Charlie had been the best students of the afternoon. It was Charlie’s first time, but Drew had been given lessons a few times before. Fishing was not something the teenager enjoyed though. As much as Drew loved the water, which was almost as much as Ashlyn loved it, he really did not like to get his hands dirty. Fishing was a slimy business and the 17-1/2 year old had no interest in touching either the live bait that Papa sometimes used or the fish they actually caught. But that afternoon, Drew sucked it up and tried his best, loving every moment with his Papa. Mike recognized the extra effort and praised his grandson accordingly, although still in his man of few words way.

“You did great today Big D” Chris patted his nephew on the back as they walked along the dry beach looking for driftwood for the firepit at the beach house. They were all going to have dinner around the fire that evening – hamburgers and hotdogs and other cookout standbys. “I know that was hard for you” the big man continued after picking up a sizable piece of wood, bleached almost white by the sun and the sea. “I’m really proud of you.”

Drew was typically quiet as he grabbed a skinnier piece of wood and tried to figure out what he wanted to say. It was nice to be praised and appreciated by both his Papa and his favorite uncle.

“I heard Papa tell you he was proud of you too” Chris picked up the one-sided conversation a minute later, unwilling to let the moment go by without pushing a little bit harder. “I’m sure there were a lot of other things you’d rather have done today, but it meant a lot to Papa, and to me, that you came fishing with us. Thanks man.”

Drew felt a smile crease his own face at the kind words. He then felt his uncle watching him expectantly.

“Oh, uhh, sure” he offered with a kind of half chuckle/half giggle that he immediately regretted. He cleared his throat and lowered his voice back to normal. “No problem.”

It took Chris 15 more minutes to pull a conversation out of the shy teenager. By the time he got around to what he was hoping to get to, their arms were full of driftwood and they were halfway back to the beach house.

“So listen, I know Pop isn’t big on using a lot of words” Chris laughed softly as he kept his voice down – knowing how much voices carried on the beach. He wanted this conversation to stay private, which is why he had hurried down the back deck before Dodge or anybody else could catch them. “But...I just wanna make sure you know...you know...in case he doesn’t ever get a chance to say the words...”

Chris stopped because it was turning out to be a lot more difficult to say this part than he had anticipated. It was Drew’s turn to look on and wait for more.

“Whew, ok so I’m just gonna say it” Chris swallowed hard and shrugged at his nephew. All of a sudden it hit him that Drew was 5’10” tall and 6 months away from turning 18 and becoming a fully legal adult citizen. How the fuck did that happen so fast? “My dad, I know he loves me because I’ve fucked up enough in my life where he felt like he might not be able to ever say those words to me again. So he’s told me he loves me. But you, you’re not gonna be like that. You’re not gonna be a fuck up. Which means, you know, he might not ever tell you how great he thinks you are after you almost die. He gave you props today and that was awesome, but that might be all you get, you know?”

“Unless I fuck up?” Drew took full advantage of the curse word acceptance in the conversation to ask his question.

“Yeah, but...Jesus” Chris rolled his eyes, frustrated with himself. “This isn’t what I’m really trying to say” he chuckled and then blew out an exasperated sigh. “Just know that Papa loves you D. Even if he can’t say the words to you, even now...” the unspoken ‘in the last weeks of his life’ hung in the air for a minute between them. “Just know that he really loves you a lot, and he’s proud of you, and he thinks you’re turning into a fine young man.”

Drew felt his cheeks blush as they walked on at a much slower pace. He felt pressured again to say something in return. He decided, in a moment of bravery, to be honest and straightforward like his uncle had been.

“But Papa doesn’t really know me...” he kept his head facing forward but snuck a look at his uncle out of the corner of his eye.

There was an agonizing delay before Chris replied. It felt to Drew like 10 minutes but was really only a few seconds.

“He knows you” the big man nodded and smiled sincerely at the teen. “More people know you than you think” he raised his eyebrows when he said the word ‘know’. “And we all love you, and are proud of you, exactly the way you are.”

Drew almost fell over he was so shocked by what his Uncle had just said, and hinted at. Did Uncle Chris really know? Did Papa know too? How many more people knew?? What the hell was he supposed to do now???

“And it’s ok if you don’t wanna talk to me about it. It’s totally cool. No pressure” Chris wished he had an arm free to give the boy a hug. A gentle nudge from his big bicep would have to suffice for the time being. “But, I’m always here for you, whenever you’re ready. No matter what” the big man waited for Drew to look over at him and then nodded and gave him another warm smile. “Ok?”

“Yeah, ok” Drew choked out. He felt sure his cheeks must have been bright red and his eyes about the size of tennis balls. He wasn’t wrong. “Th...thanks.”

“Any time my dude. That’s what I’m here for. And don’t you forget it.”

As they dropped the driftwood 10’ away from the fire pit on the beach, Drew’s whole body felt like it was on fire. His muscles were burning from the exercise, but the real inferno was raging from inside his very soul. For the first time in his entire life, Drew felt a powerful urge to say the words out loud to someone he loved and respected and craved approval from. Sure, he had told his shrink he was gay right after school had started in September. But that was just Dr. Murphy and his moms were paying her to get him to say things like that. She had led him to the point where there was no choice left but to admit the truth and say the words ‘I’m gay’ out loud. It had made him nauseous at first and he felt like he was going to have a panic attack. His body hadn’t felt that way since he had gotten into therapy and fixed his stomach problems several years ago. He hated that feeling. But then an odd thing had happened. In the middle of all the discomfort and nausea, he had felt just the tiniest bit of relief. Drew had talked with Dr. Murphy, the beautiful black shrink, three times since then. Once a month he had a session and talked to her about how terrified he was of being gay. Was he really ready to tell his Uncle Chris? He would not have predicted a Sunday evening during Christmas vacation to be the time. But here he was.

“So, umm...” he started and then stammered and then stopped. 

Drew’s eyes darted up the 50 feet to the back deck of the beach house where family was all looking down at the two firewood gatherers who had made such a loud racket a moment ago. It would just be a matter of minutes before cousins and siblings and moms and grandparents came to join them at the fire pit. Now really wasn’t a good time to be having this conversation.

“Yeah D?” Chris was on his knees in the sand, stacking the wood. He smacked his nephew’s thigh, encouraging him to help. He remembered something Ashlyn had told him years ago about how hard it was to communicate with Drew sometimes because he was so shy. Her advice had been to not make eye contact or spook him. “Gimme a hand will ya?” 

Drew’s stomach lurched again as he knelt next to the big man. He felt safe with his Uncle Chris. Uncle Chris knew he was gay and hadn’t been weird about anything. He still touched him and joked with him and nothing had changed. That’s what both his moms had been telling him his whole life, but it sounded too good to be true. Drew didn’t trust that idea yet. 

“You were saying?” Chris pushed just a bit. He knew their time was limited too.

“Yeah, so...umm...I...” Drew hadn’t touched the driftwood yet. He was just kneeling there, mostly hidden from beach house view by his uncle, trying to get his mouth to work. He closed his eyes and swayed just a bit as he mustered up every ounce of courage he could. “I think I might be gay.”

“You think so huh?” Chris beamed as he turned to look at his nephew who was still facing forward. “I think that’s fucking awesome dude.”

“You...you do?” Drew turned and saw the joy on Chris’ face and suddenly felt like he could fly. “Really?”

“Absolutely. Come here” Chris pulled the teen into an enormous hug and spoke over his shoulder, keeping his voice down for privacy again. “I love you so much D. so fucking much. And I’m so damned proud of you.”

“Well, I am gay. I know I am” Drew offered with a bit more confidence as they pulled apart.

They both turned to wave at Tammye and Beth who were halfway to the fire pit with Dodge and Lizzy close behind them.

“That sounds even better” Chris patted Drew on the back and laughed with sheer joy again.

“But don’t say anything” the teen added quickly, a hint of panic in his voice. “You’re the only one I’ve told.”

“I won’t tell a soul. You have my word.”

“Thanks” Drew grinned like a fool. He had never imagined his first coming out story would go so well. He was on cloud 9 and drunk on relief and happiness. “And thanks for being so cool about it.”

“No reason to be anything but cool about it bro” Chris held his gaze for a second. They could both see and hear the approaching family members getting closer. “And I’m telling you – nobody in this family is gonna be anything but cool about it. So don’t worry.”

Drew looked pale and terrified at the thought of the whole family knowing his secret – the secret he was still coming to grips with himself. Chris noticed the change right away and spoke quickly to alleviate the terror.

“No pressure at all. I won’t say a word. But I’m just telling you – a lot of us already know.”

“But...how?”

“We just know” Chris shrugged. “We’ve been loving you for 17 years dude” he winked. “Everybody’s gonna be cool about it, whenever you decide to tell them. Trust me.”

Drew honestly didn’t know when he would tell the next person or who that person would even be. But none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was that he had told Uncle Chris and...nothing had changed. In fact, he felt even closer to Uncle Chris now that the truth was out there between them. The teenager hadn’t anticipated that. It was an encouraging beginning, very encouraging, but it was just a start. That Sunday evening on the beach in Florida was a momentous time for the young man, a day he would never ever forget. For the moment, that was good enough. No, it was better than good...it was awesome.


	27. Gingerbread Glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is my friends, the final chapter of Part 16. It's long and some of it at the beginning is a refresher on the physical set up of the beach house - so, sorry? I'm posting the floor plan on the Tumblr blog too.  
> It's been a tumultuous ending to the year in this part of the story, lots of drama.  
> I hope this final chapter wraps some things up for you. It definitely brings some peace to the characters in the story, that's for sure.  
> And I'll be back with Part 17 when i can. I've got it plotted out roughly and it's going to be a big full one like this installment has been. Thanks for your patience as I finished this one up. You guys are the best. <3

The beach house was relatively quiet at 7:30am Monday morning because the kids were all still asleep. Tammye and Carol were sitting on the back deck, just outside the sliding door into the kitchen at the end of the long rectangular house, enjoying their coffee, as was their usual morning routine. It was raining – just a soft drizzle – so they were sitting underneath the umbrella over the deck table. 

The large, modern beach house was still one of the best things in the Krieger-Harris world. It was long and rectangular and the entire length of the back of the house looked out at the Atlantic Ocean off of Melbourne Beach. The big back deck mimicked the shape of the house and stretched three quarters of the way down to the other end, stopping just short of the master bedroom and allowing space for the big hot tub that was more popular than ever, especially in December and January. There was a 3’ wide set of steps down to the hot tub area at the end of the deck there. There were two sliding doors from the house to the deck, one at the kitchen end of the house, which was the end where the garage and driveway were located, and another at the far end of the spacious and open-concept living room – just before the end of the deck and the hot tub. The other set of stairs down from the deck were twice as wide, almost 6’, and were situated at the other end of the deck, outside the kitchen. They led to the shallow yard and beach beyond. There was a footpath that went from the bottom of those deck steps around the back of the garage and then around the garage towards the driveway at the front of the house. The most common way people entered the beach house was through the kitchen – either through the sliding door at the back deck after walking around the garage because you just had to get a look at the ocean first, or, most often, through the side door between the garage and the kitchen. 

On the inside of the house, from the back deck view which is where most of the activity took place when family was gathered, from right to left you had the garage to the right and set slightly back from the front of the house and the kitchen. Then the well-appointed kitchen with countertops on the front wall and a nook table not unlike the one in the big old house occupying the back corner of the room closest to the dining room. There was a big window above the banquette seat on the back wall with a great view of the deck and ocean. The next room was the dining room, and it was slightly smaller than the kitchen, but it wasn’t a traditional dining room. It was half a room, really, sharing the space with the front door and entry way, and the spiral staircase that led down to the finished basement below. There was a beautiful 6-person table positioned horizontally along the back wall, with its own big window looking out onto the deck and the ocean. The space between the dining table and the front door and spiral stairs was an open hallway that led into the kitchen to the right and then into the living room on the left. 

The living room was about twice the size of the dining room and was completely open, except for the bathroom in the front corner closest to the wall with the spiral stairs on the other side. There were two distinct areas in the large room. One was along the front of the house and included a comfortable couch and armchair situated lengthwise in the room for tv viewing. The other area was a quieter space designed to enjoy the incredible view out of two enormous windows onto the back deck. There was another couch there set up to face that view and this was where people spent time reading or doing puzzles or playing games whenever possible. It was always the first-choice seating in the room, unless you wanted to watch tv. 

At the far end of the living room, just past the second sliding door out onto the back deck, was the master suite. There was a big master bathroom in the front corner of the house, all the way at the end. The master bedroom was behind it, closest to the back wall of the house which had another big window that was shorter to allow a bit more privacy there. Privacy for the occupants of the master bedroom as well as the hot tub that sat just outside it. And the third sliding door, that was almost never used and had been blocked by a low shelf of beautiful and thriving plants, took up the middle of the back wall in the room. There was a desk in the back corner, closest to the living room, that had also become more of a bookshelf than anything over the years. 

The lower level of the house wasn’t quite as long as the first floor because the master suite had been an addition and had no basement beneath it. The basement was broken up into four sections with a full bathroom at each end, in the front corner of each end of the house. From right to left, there was the bedroom that Ashlyn and Ali had always used when they visited. Next came an open area where the spiral stairs came down near the front side of the house, and where the sliding door was located on the back side of the house. Then there was a bedroom that had two sets of bunkbeds in it, and another bedroom at the left end with a double bed. There had always been plenty of room for visitors and with two full baths down there, it was a very good set up for the Kriegers or any guests. If it was just the Kriegers then the girls took one bedroom and the boys took the other. If Johnny and Lizzy Harris joined them for sleepovers there was room for all 6 of them. There were air mattresses that were set up on the floor to accommodate specific requests like when none of the 3 girls wanted to sleep in the 4th bunk with the 3 boys. The family was creative and none of the grownups cared where anybody slept as long as they went to sleep and stayed asleep. 

This trip, for example, Meg and Charlie had taken the other bedroom with the double bed and all four Krieger kids were in the bunk beds. If Deb made the trip, as she often did, then she took the other double bed bedroom but usually ended up with a grandchild or two sleeping in the bed with her before too long. If things were really packed, teenagers were sent to sleep upstairs on the couches in the living room. The best thing about sleeping upstairs like that was that you were the first to get Carol’s delicious breakfast in the morning. Caro could cook and all of the kids loved her for it, whether they were consciously aware of it or not. It was rare to wake up in the beach house and not smell the mouth-watering aroma of bacon and pancakes or eggs served almost any way you liked them. It was one of the best times of any day spent there. The kitchen nook was the best place to eat because it was closest to the food and the refrigerator for refills on juice or milk. The second best place to eat breakfast was at the table on the back deck, but that didn’t work well if it was raining. The drawback there was that the nook table got the best service because of its proximity. When it was colder outside, the dining room table took over after the nook table was full. 

The house was always busy and active when there were visitors. Carol was always baking or cooking something, and Tammye was constantly checking in with her grandbabies, who still called her Gigi, to make sure they had everything they needed. Gigi and Caro loved when the Kriegers came to stay with them and made absolutely no attempt to hide the fact whatsoever. More often than not, the Harrises – both Chris and Mike – brought their people over for meals too. Nobody was ever turned away from the beach house and nobody ever left with anything other than a full belly and a plate of homemade cookies or other scrumptious dessert that Caro had perfected.

That Monday morning, before the breakfast cooking began, Ali was on her morning walk – donning her trusty Red Sox cap to keep the drizzle off of her glasses. Walking in the morning was something she tried to do whenever she was enjoying more seasonable weather than what New England offered in the winter months. And walking on the beach would always be the brunette’s preference, no matter what – even in a light drizzle. Ali would have walked with Meg most mornings during their Christmas vacation, but the angsty redhead got up too early even for Ali, who was an avowed morning person herself. No, Meg was usual up after a fitful night of half sleep by 5am most mornings those days. She had gotten used to walking off her anxiety in the mostly dark morning, working her body and trying to clear her mind. Her sleep problems were not a good thing for her at all. They simply compounded her grief and confusion and despair. 

Ashlyn sat at the dining room table, much as she had done Friday morning tweaking this year’s recipe when Dodge walked up the stairs and teased her about her latest gingerbread house attempt. Today though, the keeper had risen earlier than usual because she was eager to start building her masterpiece. She had been at it for almost 90 minutes by 7:30am and she was making slow progress. It made no sense, she had learned the hard way, to rush the first parts of the building. If you didn’t get the foundation built well, then nothing was going to stay standing very long anyway. Ashlyn had 2 of the 4 walls up, braced by two intersecting metal brackets inside that would be removed once all four walls were able to hold each other up. She was building small. The gingerbread house was only going to be 1’ wide by 2’ long by 1’ high, and then the peaked roof added on top of that. Ashlyn found herself getting distracted and frustrated as the minutes passed and she couldn’t get the third wall to work. She was repeating a positive mantra over and over in her head as she gritted her teeth and tried to control her temper over the construction project, as well as her anxiety over Meg’s recent surly behavior. 

As fun as Sunday had been for everybody, by the time the burgers and hot dogs dinner around the fire pit on the beach had fizzled out, Meg and Charlie had seemed to be at odds with each other. Ashlyn had never experienced a dynamic between them like that and she didn’t like it. Charlie, to his credit, tried to appease his girlfriend or at least avoid her when it became clear that wasn’t possible. He spent most of the firepit time talking with Chris and Drew as the three laughed more than Ashlyn could remember in a long time. It was great to see Drew so carefree and Ashlyn was thankful again for her brother Chris’ involvement in the teenager’s life. If she only knew how involved that had become yesterday, she would be even more grateful. As happy as Drew was yesterday, Meg’s mood seemed to sour with every passing hour until she got up abruptly and went to bed right after Mike and Lydia left. 

“Just try and let her be, honey” Ali had suggested Sunday night as they snuggled and talked before going to sleep. “I know it’s hard, but she’s all grown up now and she needs to try and...”

“Handle it on her own, I know” Ashlyn sighed and pulled her wife in tighter against her side as she lay on her back. “I thought she was doing better, and I know Christmas is extra hard, but...I’ve never seen her like this with Chuck. I’m worried.”

“I know, it’s like watching a bad movie or something. It’s just all wrong” the brunette agreed as she wrapped her leg across her keeper’s hips and used her heel to pull their bodies closer together. “Maybe she got her period today...”

It felt ridiculous to speculate, but the two wives had gotten used to trying to understand the redhead’s swiftly shifting moods like that. They were both always worried about Meg and wanting to help her in any way that they could. Deb had finally told them both to just back off because the extra pressure Meg was feeling by trying to seem ok so her two remaining moms wouldn’t be worried about her was only making it worse.

“Remember your mom said Christmas was the hardest for her” Ashlyn offered softly after a quiet moment of snuggling and soft kisses as both women tried to quiet their minds for the night. “After Mike died.”

“Mmm Hmmm” Ali nodded as she thought back on Deb’s advice to them before the Christmas trip. “She said there were so many things that could set her off on a wave of grief when she went through the first Christmas without him. And he died pretty close to the end of the year too, so it was still fresh for her. Just like it is with Meg.”

“Yeah” Ashlyn agreed and let out a long, heavy sigh. “It’s so hard to just let her suffer through it though, on her own.”

“But she’s not on her own babe” Ali corrected with a kiss to her keeper’s chin and a tender hand on Ashlyn’s cheek. “She’s got all of us here with her. Whenever she needs us or whenever she’s ready to talk to one of us, any of us, we’re all here for her.”

“You’re right” Ashlyn sighed again, but this time a tiny relieved smile started to form in the corners of her mouth as she relaxed into the warm embrace and soothing words of her beautiful brunette. “How come you’re always right?” she flirted softly and turned her head for a kiss.

“Whoa, who are you and what have you done with my wife?” Ali joked back with a throaty chuckle before meeting Ashlyn’s lips with a loving kiss.

After a few minutes of slow, sweet but still deep kisses, the pair of exhausted wives settled back into another favorite sleeping position with Ashlyn as the big spoon and Ali as the little spoon. The sound of the rain being blown against the window that looked out the back wall towards the sea got louder as the wind increased every couple of minutes. The rain was supposed to end sometime Monday evening which meant a day full of people trapped inside the beach house until then. The winter rainstorm had caused the air to become more humid and it had happened so quickly that night that it was easy to feel if you were paying any attention at all.

“What’s that saying again, about the rain and the movies?” Ashlyn’s sleepy voice asked through a yawn as she nuzzled into her wife’s neck. They were both almost asleep, just able to get a few words out before drifting off.

“Huh?” Ali furrowed her brow as her tired mind tried to work out what her wife was talking about. The sound of the rain had lulled them both towards sleep faster than their tired bodies even usually did. “Oh, rain means change. In the movies” she answered, her voice low and quiet, practically a mumble. “When the director wants to tell us that things are about to happen” she paused to yawn, “they make it rain.”

“Rain means change, that’s it” Ashlyn gave her girl a squeeze before letting her arms go loose as the final thoughts in her brain for the day left her lips. “Feels like it here too. Change...”

That change had arrived during the night, with the rain, and the vibe in the house Monday morning felt...different. It would have been hard to say exactly what had changed, but the new, uneasy feeling was definitely there. Ashlyn’s own mood was sinking, even as she sat there at the dining room table working on the gingerbread house. The gingerbread house was set up on a big wooden board, as usual, and the board was situated on the corner of the dining room table – the one closest to the kitchen so it was easier to get up and get some water to moisten any of the slabs if necessary. Ashlyn moved from one seat to the one kitty corner from her on the other side of the gingerbread board so she could access more of the structure without having to turn the board itself. One of her theories to explain her repeated failure over the previous four years was that there was too much touching and moving during construction. This year she was going to move herself around more than she did the wooden board that held the beginnings of the gingerbread house. 

Ashlyn hadn’t even had to fend off any teasing jokes from any of her kids yet, but she was already getting fed up with the failure that she was sure was coming, again. The only thing that had delayed her worsening mood had been the excitement about starting to build the gingerbread house – the building stage was always the most fun, but also the most difficult. Well, that excitement and the hug from behind and warm kiss on the cheek she had received from her wife on her way out the door for her walk. But the change that Ashlyn hadn’t seen coming, arrived in her airspace only 15 minutes later. And it was stormy as fucking hell.

The kitchen door from the garage burst open loudly, making Ashlyn jump in her seat. Her hands jumped with her and she dropped the section of wall she had been trying to get into place. She scowled at the slab of gingerbread that was now broken into 3 smaller, jagged shaped pieces after falling onto the metal brackets. The keeper might have been able to calm herself back down again if she had only been given a minute. But 15 seconds after the door had burst open, it was slammed shut with so much force that the house literally shook. Ashlyn saw her mother and mother-in-law, with frightened looks on their faces, both turn around out on the deck to see what the hell was going on in their house. The rain was coming down harder now and Ashlyn, somewhat tangentially, wondered how Ali was doing on her walk. Soaked, no doubt. Tammye and Carol had been biding their time, waiting for a break in the rain to dash back inside before the commotion had begun.

“What the heck was that?” Dodge’s voice surprised Ashlyn from the top of the spiral staircase behind her. 

She looked over her shoulder at him in his black and gold Boston Bruins pajama pants and red NE Revolution t-shirt and tried to calm her nerves down from the quick series of surprises that had taken her breath away. Before Ashlyn could compose herself and answer him, Meg’s irritated voice could be heard from the kitchen.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she was upset but speaking to herself and not full on yelling. She tripped while trying to step out of her shoes like everybody had been trained to do when entering the beach house, and had banged her elbow into the refrigerator to her right because she couldn’t get her hand out of her raincoat pocket fast enough to steady herself with it. “Come ON!!” she did yell that time, infuriated by everything in her presence.

Ashlyn got up to see what was happening and she and Dodge stood side by side in the open doorway to the kitchen, watching the angry redhead have a temper tantrum. There was no better way to describe it. Meg was leaning against the refrigerator with her right shoulder and bicep, hopping on one foot while she tried to take her other wet shoe off. Her face was as red as Dodge’s t-shirt and her nostrils were flaring as she huffed and puffed from both the effort and the fury in her system. To make matters worse, the mini umbrella in her left hand was half closed and very wet and getting water everywhere. Meg finally pushed herself back upright off the fridge and reached down to grab the difficult shoe in her right hand. She stood up again and hurled the shoe hard at the floor in front of her. They all watched it bounce once and then slide towards Ashlyn and Dodge.

“Geez Meggie, get a grip, will ya?” Dodge said in only that way that a younger brother could. There was concern in his voice but it was masked by sarcasm and a good dose of teenage disdain.

“Shut up Dodge” she growled back at him, scowl still firmly in place on her face. 

“Hey, that’s enough” Ashlyn took a step closer to the agitated young woman and watched as Meg struggled to disentangle herself from her rain jacket.

It would have been funny if Meg hadn’t been so clearly upset.

“No it’s not” the redhead snapped back at Ashlyn, the two keepers holding an uneasy glare as their foul moods met on the battlefield between them. “It’s not nearly...” she grunted as she wrenched one arm out of the wet and clingy rain jacket, “fucking...” her wrist got caught at the very end of the sleeve and the rain jacket acted like a straight jacket that refused to release its dangerous patient. She shouted in complete frustration as she pulled with all of her strength to free her right hand “...enough!” 

“That might have been easier if you put the umbrella down” Dodge cocked his head and stretched, still waking up despite the drama. “Just saying” he shrugged and continued to watch the spectacle of his biggest sister losing her shit right in front of him.

Before anybody could do or say anything else, Meg let out another long growl that lasted a full minute as she moved the wet half folded up umbrella into her right hand and spun into the middle of the kitchen floor while pulling her left arm out of the rain jacket. She encountered the same problem as she had with the other sleeve, her hand got stuck at the end of the sleeve. Ashlyn and Dodge both stepped out of the way, Dodge went backwards into the dining room area but towards the front door while Ashlyn stepped to her right towards the nook table and the sliding door, to avoid the whirling dervish of rage before them. Meg, still growling like a madwoman, completed one more half circle as she got to the now clear doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. She flung the offending rain jacket to the floor with her left arm and blindly hucked the pain in the ass umbrella away from her with her strong right arm.

All she wanted was to get the fuck out of there and put some distance, both emotional and physical, between herself and the nasty fight she and Charlie had just had. They had been waiting at the end of the driveway for his car service pickup to take him to the airport and they had picked up where they had left the argument off Sunday morning. This time Charlie didn’t just take it on the chin though. He argued back and called Meg on her bullshit. That’s what had made the redhead so angry – she couldn’t deny anything he had said. Now, all she wanted was to get away from everybody and if it hadn’t been raining she’d be out walking on the beach right now. She had to get away so she could fall apart and nothing, absolutely nothing, was cooperating with her desperate escape plan. Not her stupid shoes, not her ridiculous rain jacket, and sure as hell not that fucking dumb purple Orlando Pride nipple logo umbrella!

The umbrella that had done its job protecting Charlie and his suitcase from the rain, had become an enemy to Meg in the past 5 minutes in the kitchen. And it was with the hatred of a bitter enemy that the redhead had hurled it away from her at the end of her spinning exit from the kitchen. The umbrella. Meg slowly got her bearings after the spinning and faced the front door of the beach house. She heard a strangely muted thumping sound behind her and couldn’t understand why Dodge’s face looked so horror-stricken as he looked past her. Meg felt her chest heaving and tried to calm herself enough so she could jump into action if necessary. But what the fuck was happening behind her? Was it Gigi or Caro out on the deck? Was somebody sick or something? As she started to turn around and see for herself, she felt Ashlyn’s body squeeze behind her and push her out of the way. Dodge looked like Macaulay Culkin from the Home Alone movie poster – his eyes wide and his face horror-stricken as he held it with both hands, one on each cheek.

By the time Meg finally got herself turned around to look at the back deck so she could check on Tammye and Carol, she felt her heart sink all the way to the bottom of the darkest trench at the bottom of the deepest sea. Ashlyn, lunging behind the redhead in a desperate attempt to save the fledgling gingerbread house from the marauding umbrella, missed the umbrella, tripped over her own two feet, and flailed at the dining room table for leverage or support. She was trying to keep her face from slamming into the corner of the table as she fell to the floor, watching one wall of the gingerbread house collapse under the impact from the umbrella. What Ashlyn did, however, hurt her more than the table to the face ever could have that morning. Meg and Dodge watched, as did Tammye and Carol, their faces and hands pressed to the exterior of the big window looking into the dining room. They all watched Ashlyn’s left hand land heavily on the edge of the big wooden board, which was hanging slightly over the edge of the table. The back of the board tipped up swiftly, like when the biggest kid in class sat on the other end of the see saw on the playground and sent you soaring to the sky, and dumped its contents in an agonizing slow-motion drop to the floor. Bye bye gingerbread house. 

//

Two hours later, the rain fell harder than ever and the mood inside the beach house was almost as dark as the stormy skies outside. Dodge updated each waking or returning family member with the drama of the morning. Each person, even Ali, looked to either Gigi or Caro for confirmation which was sadly given. Drew was the last to rise, just after 10am, after enjoying one of the best sleeps of his young life. What a difference his conversation with Uncle Chris had made. Drew felt more confident in himself than he could ever remember, at least since he had started being aware of such things.

“What do you mean they just left?” Drew scrunched up his face as he devoured the plate of pancakes and bacon that had been left warming in the oven for him by his grandmother.

Dodge stood next to the breakfast nook table, unable to keep still from both excitement and anxiety surrounding Meg’s hissy fit and the destruction of this year’s gingerbread house. He moved into and out of the kitchen, hovering around the scene of the accident before returning to his brother’s side to continue their conversation. Dodge couldn’t remember the last time Drew had given him his attention for this long.

“Meggie started to cry and ran downstairs. But she didn’t stay there, she went out the door down there with her running clothes on. Haven’t seen her since” Dodge’s bright blue eyes were flashing as he explained.

“And what about Mama?”

“She just stood up, did a lot of swearing” Dodge chuckled, “and then went out the front door. She came back in to get the keys to the minivan and left again” he shrugged.

“Damn” Drew’s eyebrows went up as he considered all that his kid brother had just relayed. 

Dodge bounced back into the dining room and returned a moment later, his mouth full of a piece of crumbled gingerbread and with another fist-sized piece in his hand. Drew shook his head at him as he walked past to put his plate and silverware into the dishwasher. He stopped at the refrigerator on his way back and pulled out the jug of orange juice, checking to see if any grownup was in the vicinity, before guzzling directly from the jug. If the house was in chaos that morning, nobody would care if he broke a little rule here or there. After he finished and returned the orange juice to the fridge, Drew stood in the kitchen doorway, surveying the scene of the crime in the dining room. Dodge followed and stood next to him, still enjoying the gingerbread he was eating.

“Gimme that” Drew snatched the piece from his brother’s hand and belched loudly, right in Dodge’s face, before taking a big bite of the gingerbread.

“Awww... that was the best piece” Dodge said dejectedly. “I was saving that...”

“Hey, this is really good” Drew turned a surprised face to his brother and took another bite to confirm. “And it was standing up?”

“Ah-huh” Dodge nodded with a grin. “She had two sides up and they looked strong. I mean, Meggie whipped that umbrella at it and only one side fell in. The corner didn’t even separate” he explained animatedly, happy that somebody had asked more details about the incident. “You know how strong she is” he raised both eyebrows for emphasis. 

“Hmmm...” Drew pursed his lips as he looked at the now empty board and the short stack of partial gingerbread walls that used to stand atop it. Many of the slabs had to be thrown away after biting the dust and hitting the floor, but a few remained. They could definitely still be used for decorations or a chimney or trees or maybe some fencing around it or...something. “I’ve got an idea...”

//

Ashlyn was on her way back home from her pointless drive that morning. She steered the borrowed Subaru minivan along the winding beach road that gave access only to the homes in her mother’s neighborhood, only to houses right on the beach. The rain was coming down harder and the keeper was happy she had opted for a drive to clear her head rather than a walk or a run on the beach. Very glad. It had been 90 minutes since she had destroyed her own gingerbread house and she didn’t feel much better about anything, truthfully. It was 9:30am and she was tired, cranky, hungry, and cold. She had thrown a sweatshirt on that morning before going upstairs, but it was definitely not warm enough outside to be wearing just her sleep shorts. She also left in such a state of outrage that she didn’t bring her wallet or phone with her so she couldn’t even buy a cup of coffee. As much as she wanted to stay away from the house for most of the morning, Ashlyn found herself returning after only an hour away. She hoped Meg kept her distance for a while though – there was nothing good the blonde could say to her yet. It was too soon.

Just as Ashlyn turned onto the unpaved but well-maintained gravel beach road, she saw a pitiful looking figure walking slowly along the side of the road ahead of her. It was 5-miles, roughly, back to the beach house from this end of the beach road and the poor, drenched jogger would have quite a walk depending on where their final destination was along the way. Ashlyn slowed to offer the walker, a tall, thin young man or maybe a muscular young woman – it was hard to tell because they wore lightweight rain pants and a windbreaker with the hood up and pulled tightly around their face against all the rain – a ride and was shocked to see Meg’s familiar green eyes looking back at her after she honked the horn quickly in greeting.

“Oh, it’s you” Ashlyn observed and sighed heavily. She really wasn’t ready to see Meg yet. Damn. 

She was about to say something to that effect loudly enough for Meg to hear and then continue on her way, but there was a flash of...something in those green eyes that kept her in place, foot firmly on the brake. Meg looked hurt almost. She looked like a much younger version of herself – a little girl who had skinned her knee while sliding ungracefully down the immense hunk of granite rock in the backyard of the big old house. That little girl Meg had looked scared from the unplanned fall, hurt from the pain in her raw knee, angry that it had happened in the first place, and embarrassed that she needed help from Ashlyn to deal with all of those other emotions. That look – that combined, condensed series of intense feelings – filled Meg’s face that cold rainy December morning too. Ashlyn felt her heart shift instantly. Meggie was in so much pain and in such distress. It didn’t matter how angry Ashlyn was with her, there was no way she could ever leave her to suffer like that.

“Get in” she yelled across the empty passenger seat and out the open window, raising her voice so it could be heard over the noise of the rain all around them.

Meg hesitated for one brief second before letting her shoulders drop in defeat, or maybe in acceptance of assistance? She did her best to shake off some of the rain that had accumulated in the creases of her jacket before climbing into the welcome warmth of the minivan.

“Thanks” she muttered as she buckled her seatbelt. 

She didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, but her lips were blue from the chilly air and not working very well yet. Meg had run the five-mile distance from the house without much thought about anything in particular. She focused on the pain in her heart, the hunger in her belly, the ache in her head, and the twinge in her left ankle from a tough tackle she had taken from Josie during one of their recent family soccer games. Somehow Ashlyn had come to her rescue this morning, yet again. 

“You’re gonna get pneumonia you know” Ashlyn turned the heat up as high as it would go and watched Meg lean closer to the heating vents as she rubbed her hands together to try and warm them up.

“I know” the redhead’s voice was flat and lifeless.

The drive home would only take 10 minutes, even at a slower speed on the gravel road. Ashlyn didn’t really have an agenda for the ride. She hadn’t had enough time or coffee to process the episode from that morning yet either. All she knew was that Meg had exploded 90 minutes earlier and the gingerbread house had been collateral damage. The two keepers exchanged words in short, compact sentences, without much emotion one way or the other. They both kept their eyes facing forward.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

A couple of minutes of quiet passed, only the rain pounding the top of the minivan and the heating fan on high filling the space around them.

“Are you sad because Chuck left?” Ashlyn gave it one more try, completely unsure if she was anywhere close to the bullseye or not. “Or did you two have a fight?”

“God, yes!” Meg whipped her head over and spat short, clipped words back at the blonde. Her temper flared up from nothing to maximum in the blink of an eye. “I was a fucking bitch to him and he left early. Is that what you wanna hear? Ok – I said it. I hope you’re happy now” the redhead undid her seatbelt and reached for the door handle before Ashlyn could even react to her words.

“Whoa, whoa...” she slammed the brakes when it became clear that Meg was getting out of the minivan whether it was still moving or not. “Jesus Meg! What are you doing?!”

But Meg was already out and into the rain again, this time with tears streaming down her face to add to the waterworks. Ashlyn watched her stomp her way down a small slope just off the road where a younger palm tree offered the slightest bit of cover from the rain. The keeper pulled the minivan over so it was mostly off the gravel road, allowing just enough room for another car to pass by if necessary. She got so close to the dense firebrush shrubbery that the bush pushed the open passenger door closed, saving Ashlyn the effort.

“Well, fuck” the keeper grumbled as she pulled the hood of her dark green Gloucester Fishermen varsity soccer team sweatshirt up over head and tightened the strings beneath her chin and got out of the car.

It was cold and rainy and the wind made everything twice as bad when it swept up off the beach, bringing stinging sand and other debris with it. Ashlyn wasn’t exactly firing on all pistons yet that morning, but she knew she had hit on a pain point with her girl. Charlie.

“Talk to me kiddo, please” she entreated when she caught up to Meg beneath the palm tree. She instinctively put her body between the beach and Meg, blocking the biting wind for the younger woman. Both women stood with their hands in their pockets, hunched over slightly trying to keep their faces from the swirling wind. “Meggie, please honey, tell me what’s going on. I’m begging you.”

It took two more tries and some more cajoling before Meg finally told Ashlyn about the fight with Charlie from Sunday morning. Then she updated her with the latest round in the battle from the end of the driveway that morning too.

“We don’t fight” she explained, her chin trembling and her voice still loud so Ashlyn could hear it over the rain and wind. “Not ever. I...I...I think I might have lost him...” Meg broke down and let Ashlyn pull her into a hug, finally.

The blonde held her daughter as she tried to console her and assuage her fears.

“There’s no way you lost him. He loves you so much. It’s just 5 days and you’ll be back together and you can straighten everything out. Don’t worry honey, it’ll all be ok...”

“But it won’t be ok” Meg shook her head and pulled back from the hug, anger filling her face just as swiftly as the tears had a few moments earlier. “Nothing is ok!” she tried to focus on the blonde’s face but Ashlyn’s glasses were covered in so much rain that Meg couldn’t even see her hazel eyes at all. “How can you say that to me?!”

“Wait, wait!” Ashlyn caught Meg’s arm and the redhead tried to wrench free from the grip, pulling Ashlyn with her a few steps closer to the beach and out from the little cover the palm tree had offered. “You’re right. You’re right! Nothing’s ok. Not one fucking thing” she shouted to Meg who looked like she wanted to punch her in the face. 

Meg was pissed off and Ashlyn could only guess at who and what. They stood there in the cold rain shouting at each other next to the deserted beach. 

“It’s not fair that I get to have one last Thanksgiving and one last Christmas and one last New Year’s and one last everything with my dad” Ashlyn was holding back tears now too as she finally spoke about the guilt she had been harboring for 3 months. “It’s not fucking fair at all. You should have had that with your mom. You should have had at least that if she was gonna go so fucking young. It’s the most unfucking fair thing in the whole fucking world and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry...” the blonde blubbered and gave up on her glasses, putting them into her front pouch pocket. 

Her bare legs were shaking in the cold and Meg felt sorry for her for a minute, but then that compassion was pushed aside by the rage inside her.

“She should be here! She should still be here! Right now, today!!” Meg yelled as more tears fell down her face. “We should be in Aspen and she should be proposing to Reenie and...” she stopped, overwhelmed by sadness and then rage again. “I’m...I’m so fucking mad...” she admitted, wiping the snot from her nose with the back of her hand as she shouted through angry sobs. “It’s not fair! Why did she have to die? Why did she have to leave me? Why?!”

“You’re right” Ashlyn shouted back. “You’re absolutely fucking right Meg! It’s not fair...it’s fucking awful and horrible and I’d be pissed off every single goddamned day if I was you. You don’t have to pretend not to be” she reached out and put a hand on each of Meg’s shoulders, giving them a big squeeze. “Feel what you feel. Feel it. Let it out. Tell it all to this storm and let the wind carry it away. Get it out of your system for a while...”

Ashlyn watched the grief-stricken young woman shout her lungs out, yelling into the wind about her pain and her sadness and her loneliness and her heartache. Meg yelled until she was hoarse and completely drained of energy, then she sank to her knees, exhausted. Ashlyn knelt next to her, putting an arm around her slumped shoulders and pressing their bodies tightly together, side by side.

“I’m here Meggie. I’m right here with you. We all are – we’ll all do anything you need honey. You’re not in this alone – not unless you wanna be, and we’ll respect that...”

“No, no” Meg shook her head, her voice raspy and raw and her eyes red. “I don’t wanna be alone. I can’t...”

“Then we’re here, right here kiddo. And that includes Charlie, trust me” Ashlyn squeezed the redhead’s shoulders again and held her tightly for a minute. She used his proper name instead of her teasing nickname for him – Chuck – because of the seriousness of the conversation. It was a point not lost on Meg either. “I promise you, you haven’t lost him” Ashlyn continued. “And I know it’s hard, but you’ve gotta try and talk to him, be honest with him about what you need, and listen to what he needs. It seems so simple but it’s the hardest thing to do when you’re in a relationship.” 

“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Meg asked, their heads closer together now so they didn’t have to shout as much to be heard. “Really?”

“I do” Ashlyn nodded. “If you tell him all of this, explain what you’re feeling – even if it’s messy and doesn’t always make sense – I know he’ll forgive you. I guarantee it.”

They sat together like that for a long while, until the shivering in Ashlyn’s body got so pronounced that Meg couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“Now who’s gonna get pneumonia” she glanced down at the blonde’s flimsy and soaked sleep shorts and bluish bare legs.

They both laughed a little, and then they laughed some more because it felt so good to laugh. Something had definitely changed, in both of them. Meg, despite her raspy voice, sounded lighter than Ashlyn had heard her in weeks. And Ashlyn felt a similar lightness in her own chest, as if a weight there had been lifted. They had both been trying so hard to keep their troubles under control and in check all this time, when maybe what they really needed was to shout into the storm. 

“Yeah, maybe you can talk to Chuck about this but maybe do it not in a hurricane like this...” Ashlyn suggested with a chuckle.

“Hurricane” Meg scoffed and then teased as they helped each other up. “It rains and you call it a hurricane, still such a Florida girl.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to mention that part to Ali...” Ashlyn winced as she took the first couple of steps on her bad knee.

“Oh right, that’s the first thing I’m telling her when we get back, and you know it” Meg laughed as they started walking back to the minivan.

“Oh yeah...” Ashlyn challenged as she tried to dry off her glasses with the underside of her sweatshirt so she could see through them to drive. She teased right back, “if that’s your plan then you can walk your ass home in this hurricane.”

“Gimme the keys” the redhead smiled and shook her head, “you can’t even see.”

“Well excuse me for not planning to hang out in a hurricane on the beach when I left the house this morning.”

“Geez, did you have to run over this poor bush? Don’t tell me I have to worry about you driving now, are you getting that old Ash?”

“Oh shut it kid” Ashlyn rolled her eyes and tossed the keys to the redhead. “I was worried about other things” a huge shiver racked her body as she stood with her arms wrapped around herself for warmth. “Hurry up would ya? Caro and her bad hip move faster than you. What, are you a professional athlete or a Florida snowbird?”

“Just get in the car...” Meg pulled away from the bush and Ashlyn was thankful it was only a loaner car as she heard the scratching sound against the entire side of the minivan.

“Do you have any money on you?” the blonde asked through chattering teeth as she waited for the heat to warm her up. “We can go get a coffee before we go back...”

“Nah, I uh, didn’t plan very well either when I left the house” Meg admitted sheepishly.

“Well lesson learned today is to take a minute to think about what you might need to bring with you when you storm out of the house” Ashlyn stated through chattering teeth as they headed back to the beach house after a very eventful morning.

“Amen to that” Meg laughed softly and then got quiet again.

“Uh oh, what happened?” Ashlyn asked anxiously. “We were good there, really good. Now you’re weird and quiet again. What’s the matter?”

“No, it’s not that” Meg stammered. “I just...I...I’m really sorry about your gingerbread house. REALLY sorry.”

“Oh yeah, that” Ashlyn sighed, but it was out of relief. “On the grand scale of things, that gingerbread house doesn’t even register. Seriously. If that’s what it took to get us out here to talk...”

“In a hurricane, don’t forget that part now” Meg interrupted to tease.

“Ha ha, yeah whatever” Ashlyn couldn’t help but giggle. “All I’m saying is it was worth it” she smiled at the redhead. “I’ll sacrifice any gingerbread house for you kiddo, anytime.”

//

When Ashlyn and Meg walked into the kitchen door at 11:15am they were greeted tentatively by Ali and Tammye. Without even trying to be funny, Tammye stepped up to Meg and helped her out of her windbreaker and offered a steady arm in case she needed assistance getting out of her running shoes. Ali just watched carefully, moving her eyes from her wife to the redhead and back again. When she saw Ashlyn chuckle at her mother’s behavior, Ali knew that wherever they had gone and whatever they had done – which had clearly been outside because both women were absolutely soaked to the bone – the catastrophe of the earlier morning had been processed and handled.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Ashlyn teased and winked at her wife.

“More like drowned rat” Ali joked back and shook her head. “Come here” she clucked tenderly, “you’re shivering.”

“You both need to get into the shower and warmed up now” Tammye instructed. “You’re ice cold. Go on now, shoo!”

“But don’t take too long, and don’t go back to sleep” Ali added as she helped Ashlyn out of her sweatshirt, having to pull hard to get it over her hunched wife’s shoulders. “There’s a plan in motion that you’re not gonna wanna miss.”

“That’s for sure” Tammye smiled brightly after pushing Meg through the kitchen and towards the spiral staircase.

“But...coffee...” Meg whined and gave Ali a begging look over her shoulder on her way past them.

“Yesssss...coffee...” Ashlyn pleaded.

“I’ll bring you both some coffee” the brunette nodded with her own smile. She patted her wife on the butt and gave her a nudge towards the stairs as well. “Now get going.”

“So...what’s this plan?” Ashlyn asked from inside the shower 10 minutes later. Her whole body ached, especially her bad knee and her fingers which always hurt more in the cold, and she was moving slowly through her shower routine. “When is it happening? I’m not sure Meg’s up for anything too much today – she really went through it this morning.” 

Ali had dutifully brought her wife a big mug of coffee and let her have a couple of sips, head stuck out of the shower curtain, while she held it for her keeper. Tammye was doing the same thing for Meg in the other basement bathroom.

“That’s fine hon, we’re staying here today and there’s no hard timeline. It’s just a spur of the moment thing, but I think you’ll love it” Ali explained. “Here, have another sip.”

“Oh God, warm on the inside and outside” Ashlyn hummed as she took two more small sips and closed her eyes in pleasure. “Mmmmmm...”

“I’m surprised you didn’t see Drew and Dodge when you came back, you just missed them.”

“Drew and Dodge, went somewhere together?” Ashlyn asked as she got back to work shampooing her hair, fingers already more pliable in the warm water. “Willingly?”

“Yes” Ali giggled, the happiness of the situation still making her practically giddy. “They’re the two masterminds of the plan actually.”

“Our Drew and our Dodge?” the keeper couldn’t help but sound shocked. 

Drew never willingly did anything with Dodge, except torture him every once in a while in true big brother fashion. But Dodge was getting bigger and stronger every day. Drew might have been 4 years older, but Dodge was closing the physical gap quickly. Ashlyn and Ali wondered how the dynamic would change between the two boys when Dodge became able to better defend himself.

“I know” Ali sighed and smiled again. “It’s a Christmas miracle. But I’m not asking too many questions” she laughed. “We’re just going with it.”

“So where did they go, together?” Ashlyn shook her head and chuckled under her breath at the idea that still sounded so strange. “And are you sure Drew’s gonna bring Dodge back home too?”

“Ha ha, yes” Ali offered one more sip to her wife before putting the mug down on the sink and making her exit. “I’ve gotta go up and make sure we’re ready when they do. Don’t dawdle too long babe.”

//

The smell of something yummy for lunch mixed with something sweet, probably for dessert – thank you Carol! – greeted Ashlyn as she made her way up the spiral staircase 20 minutes later. It was 12pm and she hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she caught the aroma of whatever was cooking in the kitchen. Before she could try and pinpoint the delicious smell, her senses focused on the beautiful singing coming from the living room close by. 

“When the rooooad is calling me yonder, when the roooooad is calling me yonder, when the rooooad is calling me yoooonder, when the road is calling me yonder I’ll be there...” Josie sang in her strong, clear, high alto tone.

“Those aren’t the words Josephine” Carol chuckled and addressed Josie as she almost always did, with her full first name.

“What do you mean? Yes they are” Josie gave her grandmother a confused, innocent look. 

Lily stood by her sister’s side waiting her turn to come in and join with her soprano harmony on top. One of the coolest things about their family, as far as Ali and Ashlyn were concerned, was the way the kids sang together. It had started when they were young and in elementary school and even Drew still sometimes joined in now and then. Dodge loved to sing and he did so confidently. Ashlyn was the same way. Drew was more shy and tentative, which was exactly the way Ali was when she sang. They both had lovely voices but they kept them muted and toned down so it was hard for them to shine through. Lily, per usual, wasn’t as confident as Dodge or as talented as Josie, but also not nearly as shy as Drew. Her high soprano voice was beautiful and she had benefitted greatly from singing so much with her big sister all her life. Josie was a firm music director though. She would stop their song any time she heard Lily’s harmony miss the mark – sliding sharp or dropping a little flat. Josie and Lily sang anything they could find that had harmonies – even drafting one of their moms or big sister Meg to join them on songs with 3-part harmonies when their brothers refused to do it. 

“No, darlin’, they’re not” Carol stood her ground with a warm, amused smile. “Not if you’re trying to sing the song I think you are.”

One of the redhead’s favorite current artists had used a familiar lyric from an old and beloved spiritual in the chorus of a song. That’s what Josie had been singing as she and Lily set up the electric keyboard in the living room so they could all sing Christmas carols together that afternoon. Ashlyn stopped where she was, halfway up the stairs, wanting to hear how the standoff played out. Josie was smart and very mature for her age – she always had been – and she didn’t like to be proven wrong. But she also loved to learn and that was often her saving grace when she started to be too much of a know-it-all. 

“What song am I trying to sing then?” the teen asked curiously. 

“’When the Roll is Called Up Yonder’ is the name and you’re very close” Carol gave the teen a warm smile as she explained. “I used to sing it all the time in church when I was a girl.”

“But, what does it even mean?” Lily asked, perplexed.

“Well, it’s like a roll call...” Carol took a second to think. “Like taking attendance in class. But this is for roll call in heaven. That’s what ‘Up Yonder’ means.”

“Huh” Josie nodded, her mind processing the new data.

“When the rooooll is called up yonder, when the rooooll is called up yonder, when the rooooll is called up yooonnder, when the roooll is called up yonder I’ll be there” Carol sang in a deep alto voice, making both girls smile and nod in understanding. “It means I’m going to live my life as a good person so I’ll have a place in heaven when I die...”

Carol stopped and looked over at the dining room table where Meg was typing a message into her phone, oblivious to the conversation a few feet away in the living room. Both girls did the same thing and Ashlyn caught the exchange as she got to the top of the stairs.

“That sure was some beautiful singing” she said as Lily met her with a hug.

“Mama, you’re back” the younger blonde said into Ashlyn’s chest as they embraced.

Josie joined the hug and Ashlyn winked at Carol. 

“I’m back, and I’m starving and something smells really yummy...”

“Mama!” Dodge yelled from the doorway into the kitchen. “Finally” he rolled his eyes but had a big smile on his face. “She’s here!” he yelled back into the kitchen.

“Oh good, let’s tell her you guys” Ali encouraged her sons as they joined her in the dining room where everybody had gathered.

Meg put her phone down from her seat at the end of the dining room table with Tammye sitting next to her. Carol, Lily and Josie stood behind Ashlyn near the doorway to the living room. And Ali stood behind Drew and Dodge in the doorway to the kitchen, facing them all. For the first time, Ashlyn noticed the slabs of gingerbread that hadn’t been destroyed that morning stacked carefully next to the clean and empty big wood board on the end of the dining room table. She hadn’t really spent a lot of time dwelling on the gingerbread house that had crashed to the floor. On the scale of things she was worried and upset about, that quickly fell off the list after her initial anger had flashed out.

“Go ahead honey” Ali had one hand on each boy’s shoulder and she squeezed Drew’s shoulder lightly as she spoke.

There was an awkward pause and Drew felt his mouth go dry for a couple of seconds.

“We got you...” Dodge began to fill the emptiness with his own excited words, but Ali moved her hand from his shoulder up over his mouth and pulled him back into her body and kissed the back of his head at the same time.

Everybody laughed, even Dodge and Drew. That laughter seemed to be the spark the older boy needed.

“Your gingerbread is really good Mama” the high school senior spoke and smiled at Ashlyn. “Dodgie and I had some this morning and, uh...we think this is the year that you’ve got the recipe right” he shrugged. “So we want you to try again” he gestured towards the dining room table and the set up that was ready to go. “And we’ll help you, if you want.”

“Aww Big D...” Ashlyn couldn’t help but get choked up as she grinned back at him. “I really appreciate that, more than you’ll ever know buddy. But there’s not enough gingerbread for the walls anymore. But maybe we can decorate what’s left and just, I don’t know, make cool stuff out of it...”

“No, no, we went and bought more ingredients” Drew hastily added.

“Yeah, me and Drew went to Publix and bought the stuff” Dodge beamed back at his Mama. He was thrilled to have been included by his big brother and he was psyched to give their Mama something they knew she would love – family focus on her gingerbread house. “We’re baking the gingerbread right now, but it has too cool still.”

Ashlyn blinked in surprise and looked at all three gleeful faces in front of her. The love she found there filled her heart so full that it even smoothed out some of the rough edges and filled in some of the cracks that had been formed over the last 3 challenging months.

“They should be ready to build with in about an hour or so, but you’d better come check them. You’re the expert” Ali offered the pertinent information. “We followed your recipe, the one you had circled...I hope that’s the right one” the brunette made an eek face but it never dimmed the smile in her eyes.

Ashlyn felt her own smile grow and she knew it was so big that her dimple was on full display. She wanted to say thank you and tell her wife and sons how much she loved them and how much their gesture meant to her, but words escaped her for the moment. All she could do was smile and bite her lip to keep from crying tears of happiness.

“Say something Mama” Lily encouraged, giving her mother another hug and adding her telltale giggle.

They all laughed again and Ashlyn turned to her right and looked at Meg. The young woman looked as tired and weary as Ashlyn felt, and for good reason. Ashlyn wanted to make sure the activity was something Meg was up for, before agreeing to it herself.

“What do you think, kiddo?” the older keeper smiled and cocked her head at the younger keeper, making sure Meg knew there was no pressure to commit to anything that day. 

Meg took a second and then smiled back, the rest of her face still revealing how tired she was both emotionally and physically. If nothing else, it would keep her mind off of her fight with Charlie = something she couldn’t begin to fix until his flight landed in another hour.

“I think it’s the best emergency Christmas rescue plan ever” The redhead shared her growing smile with everybody, reserving a special moment for both Drew and Dodge who had come up with it in the first place. “Maybe the best Christmas plan ever, PERIOD.”

“Well alright then” Ashlyn’s dimple danced in her cheek as she looked back at her wife and sons. “Let’s do this!”

The rest of the afternoon made the keeper indescribably happy. They ate lunch, everybody excited about the family activity that was going to follow. They gathered in the dining room, pulling the table out so there was even more room to move around it as they all watched and helped with the gingerbread house construction. They sang Christmas carols and other songs, Josie taking requests on the keyboard and keeping everybody entertained. There could only be so many hands on the gingerbread house at a time so there was a lot of standing around and watching and waiting. But they had fun doing it all together. There was some impromptu dancing in the living room and the kitchen – but definitely not in the dining room. 

The afternoon came and went and they filled it with snacks, and beer and wine for the adults. Uncle Chris and Papa joined them, with Lizzy and Johnny and Beth and Lydia too. They all hung out together inside, out of the rain, making one hell of a memory that none of them would ever forget. They built the gingerbread house that Ashlyn had been trying to build for 5 years, finally, and it stood strong by the time they stopped to eat dinner. Maybe they would decorate it together later that night, or maybe not until the next day, but that was literally just the icing on the cake. The important part was that they got it standing up on its own, four walls and a roof, for the first time ever.

Ashlyn was filled with so much optimism as she stood there, surrounded by her family in the dining room, admiring their handiwork. They had come together despite all the grief and melancholy and sadness that was around them, and that was still waiting for them. The gingerbread house was standing. It was late, already December 29th. It was hurried, destroyed and then rebuilt in one day. It wasn’t very pretty, and it was small. It was no Taj Mahal, but it was a real, homemade, gingerbread house. And it was standing and it was sturdy and it even tasted good! Perseverance, dedication, and a little bit of Christmas magic had done the trick.

The structure standing in front of them was a foundation for whatever came next – a couple of gables in the roof, or a chimney, or maybe just some pretty roof shingles and then decorations. They had choices of what happened next because they had built a sturdy foundation. It was a beginning, not an end. This Christmas had felt like the family, especially Ashlyn and Meg, was at a crossroads of sorts. They were at a critical juncture in their building path.

There had been so much loss and sadness this past year, and more to come next year with Mike’s end of life care decisions looming, and the Kriegers had to decide who they were going to be and how they were going to handle it all. Were they going to stay in the foundation, the basement of their building? Were they going to stay there in that dark, gloomy despair? Or were they going to lift their heads up, even though their hearts were hurting, and keep building and reaching up to new heights? Those new heights and new floors in the building were on the path that led to better things and optimism – even through the sadness they knew was coming in the very near future.

The gingerbread house was a sign. A reminder to never give up hope, no matter what. It didn’t mean that there was going to be a cure for Mike’s cancer, but hopefully his last few months would be fulfilling for him and for them all. Hopefully the time he had gotten to spend with the Kriegers this past year, and especially this Christmas, would be impactful for both the kids and their moms for the rest of their lives. 

Ashlyn knew what she was going to do, and it had only been solidified by her very emotional day both before and after the gingerbread house plan had gone into effect. And, as she remembered loving moments she had shared that day with the people she loved most in the world, the keeper’s determination only grew stronger.

“Look what we can do when we work together you guys” Ashlyn spoke emotionally to her immediate family as they proudly took pictures of the undecorated, unfinished, Taj Krieger on the dining room table before bedtime that night. “We are an unbeatable team when we’re all playing the same game. Unfreakingstoppable” she paused to get her thoughts in order before continuing again, her voice shaking with emotion. “I know I haven’t been easy to live with the last couple of months” she looked at her wife and four youngest kids with apologetic eyes. “I’m really sorry. You all deserve better than that and I promise I’ll work even harder next time I get into a tough spot like that again. I tried my best, but I just...I couldn’t...” her throat closed up on her and she couldn’t continue.

“It’s ok Mama, we love you” Josie spoke softly and took two steps so she was close enough to hug her mother tightly. The normally angsty teenager had been replaced by an angel for the day.

“Yeah, we know you tried” Dodge followed quickly, adding himself to the hug at Ashlyn’s side. He squeezed so hard at first that she couldn’t breathe.

“You always try hard. You always try your best” Lily added with a smile as she grabbed hold of her mother from the other side. “It’s ok.”

“Love you Mama” Drew said quietly as he took the space behind Ashlyn, carefully wrapping his arms around the twins’ shoulders, one on each side of their Mama.

“You’re so strong” Meg took her turn and added her hug, covering Josie as gently as possible. Meg kept talking, looking Ashlyn in the eye with every single word. “I couldn’t have made it through any of this without you Ash. Not any of it. Thank you. I love you.”

“I’ve always said you give away so much of your strength and love, so much of your big heart, that sometimes there’s not enough left for you” Ali completed the group hug, kissing Drew’s head as she stood behind him and then leaned in, up on her tip toes, and gave her wife’s cheek a peck. “And when that happens we’ll always be here for you. You can take some of our strength and our love whenever you need it.”

Ashlyn stood there, surrounded by so much love, with tears in her eyes and an enormous, grateful smile filling her face. It had been an unbelievably challenging year for her personally and she hadn’t always done a great job of handling her shit. But she had learned so much about herself and the family she loved more than life itself. They were an incredible team. And when one of them screwed up or fell down, she knew in her heart that one of the others would step up and put in the extra work until they were all back on their feet again. Today alone had proven that point. If you had told Ashlyn that her day would include Drew asking Dodge to go with him to the store to help execute a very sweet plan they had come up with together, and Josie pulling Ali in to sing harmonies with she and Lily that afternoon, or Meg finally letting all of her grief and rage out on the beach in the middle of a hurricane – well she would have thought you were out of your goddamned mind. But those things did all happen. And she knew it was more than just a Christmas miracle. It was the result of working hard as a family and loving hard and laughing hard and teaching hard and coaching hard and forgiving hard. She and Ali had put in so much work and given so much love to their kids over the past 17-1/2 years and to have a day like today where seemingly impossible things happened, multiple times!...it was an overwhelming relief. It was a humbling acknowledgment or recognition that they were doing something right, and every parent craves that whether they realize it or not.

Ashlyn reached one hand back, found her wife’s hip and gave it a squeeze. There was the connection that meant more than all the others combined. There was the link that made everything else possible. Just with that one touch, although she didn’t let go until every other part of the group hug had dissembled a few minutes later, Ashlyn felt stronger than she had all day. She found her voice again, but it was still full of emotion.

“I love you guys so much. Thank you for loving me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Please vote! And Vote for Biden/Harris if you value your freedoms as a woman or as a member of the LGBTQ. And vote for democrats down the ticket too - those senators and representatives who create and shape policies that turn into laws that affect all of us. And vote carefully in your local elections too - that's where many judges are appointed who will uphold those laws on the local level.   
> P.P.S. Black Lives still Matter!!!  
> P.P.P.S. Wear your damned mask! Thank you! :)


End file.
